Reading Reviews for Haunting Shadows
  
58 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TiaGValenn Truth

5th February 2017:
Hi! I've just found your story and I really like it. I'm from Hungary and I've would like to aks you that if I can translate your story to hungarian and share with others? I would post it on my blog and ofcourse I would link this original one there so those who can read/speak in english can find here :)

Author's Response: Hi! I'm glad you enjoy the story, and I'm very flattered that you'd like to translate it. However, this story is pretty close to my heart, so I'd kindly ask you not to; I'd like to keep it with me in the original language. Thank you so much, though!

 Report Review

Review #2, by Felpata Lupin Truth

4th February 2017:
Hi, Jill!
How are you, my dear?

So, I thought I'd stop by here before fulfilling your request, since you said there are spoilers for HS there (and since you've had this chapter out for so long and I should've come here ages ago...)

Aww... Fred... he's just so sweet... *squishes Fred* Really, Cate is lucky to have someone like him taking care of her. Sometime you just need someone to be there and hold you, without words and questions, and I love that Fred can understand that's exactly what Cate needs right now. I loved this intimate moment between them.

Chris' death... oh, my... that really gave me chills! I can't even begin to imagine what it must've been like for Cate. At the same time I'm kind of angry at him for doing something that reckless just to get her attention. And at Rob for being so cold and disinterested. And at Cate for not realizing sooner something wasn't right. Well, actually I can't blame Cate at all for it. I guess your mind just refuse certain thoughts until you're faced with the evidence.

Fred is right, anyway. It wasn't Cate's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, it just happened. Whatever dynamics were going on among the three of them (which I'm still not completely sure about... is the next chapter coming soon?)

This was another wonderful chapter and I can't wait for more! Your writing is just so wonderful, I so love your characters' development as well as your telling skills. You're such a great writer (I know I tell you all the time, but it's the truth)

See you soon, sweety!
Snowball hug,
Chiara

Author's Response: Hello Chiara!

Aww yeah, Fred is certainly adorable. And I think he recognizes that - that she doesn't necessarily need someone to talk to (well...) right now, but more to just be there with no questions asked.

Yeah, Chris is kind of an idiot ^^ But sadly these kinds of things do happen which is why I like to write about them and explore the dynamics and everything.

I'm glad you're still a little fuzzy on the dynamics ;) Things will be explained in due time on that front!

Thank you my love! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and your reviews are always so lovely and so encouraging, and I appreciate that ♥

♥♥Jill


 Report Review

Review #3, by victoria_anne Truth

23rd January 2017:
So, like, I started this and never came back to it? And then just earlier I was thinking about Chris and how every chapter of this story haunts me (see wot i did ther) and how I wanted more and I realised THERE WAS MORE.

So here I is, yay! (With terrible grammar, it seems, but I'm reviewing, not writing a story so I'm forgiven)

*brushes over Chris's last moments*

Gah, but I can't. And that line. That line. It's just too perfect! I'm left speechless.

But while we're on lines, I'm pulling this one out because I love it so: We’re all a bit messy. That’s what makes life fun. Next foil quote, perhaps?

And that bit with Fred! (Jokes, all bits with Fred) but particularly with him comforting Ginny after CoS. I read that bit before, I think you put it into sneak peeks? But I'd forgotten about it, so when I read it this time I fell in love with it all over again. It speaks volumes about Fred's character.

The flashbacks are so eerie (and-ah breaking mah heart). This chapter was structured oh-so-well. I know you had some concerns, but trust me, you don't need to.

I feel we've definitely reached a turning point in Cate and Fred's relationship too. So that's ♥ ♥ ♥
Although I'm not liking this darkness that's hanging over them, even though I know Fred will want her all the same. But still, these are some delicious threads you're weaving together.

I hope you get the next chapter up soon! I love you! ♥

Author's Response: Hai! I'm so happy to see your lovely username on this story again ♥

WASN'T THAT LINE TOO PERFECT?! I knew you were going to appreciate it as much as I did.

Aww yeah, I love that line. Fred's adorable, and it would totally make a great foil quote!

Fred's just amazing. That's part of my headcanon with him and with Ginny, but I figured it would make sense for someone like him to not push her into talking about feelings and instead just do whatever he could to make her feel better, you know? I'm glad it seems so believable.

I'm glad you enjoyed the structure!

And this was totally a turning point. I mean, he called her Cate. Serious stuff here! :P ♥ (But I'm being serious bc this was a huge moment for them.)

Love you too! ♥


 Report Review

Review #4, by PaulaTheProkaryote Truth

22nd January 2017:
Hola mi amiga,

YOU BRING ME BACK TO THE CLIFF AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAYYY? Cate, quit relieving this! Dang kids and their invincibility complexes. I do feel bad for Rob though. Like he had to know how she seemed to feel about Chris and that really just makes the whole thing even more messy. Poor Chris too.

SAFE AS LIFE! OH THAT MADE ME SO HAPPY.

Except then I remember what happens next and I'm a lot less happy. I did like finally seeing more of that fateful day though. They way you slowly give us more bits and pieces really builds up a lot of the suspense. I really like Chris's character (both alive and as a ghost) and now I'm just picturing the whole story if that didn't happen and eventually they'd be together and tbh probably live happily ever after and year Rob would be grumpy but eventually he'd get over it and they both could have had the normal, sane life that they deserved.

You were right I am happy at this sweet little Cate+Fred interaction. My babies.

Oh my god the ginny bit. That was such good character development.

That's 100% NOT her fault. I mean even when she still thought it was some kind of joke she tried her best to try to find him. Like Fred said, accidents happen. And the whole love triangle thing and her guilt with that...let's be real love is messy and terrible and things are bound to go wrong. Especially when you're young. She wasn't like mwahahahaing and plotting to tear them apart. Things just happen. I just don't think he's going to be as judgmental as she seems to anticipate. I hope not at least.

OKAY I'M READY FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! Also I saw that you've been having some bleh days so I just hope you're taking the time to treat yo self because you totally deserve it!

Author's Response: HELLO MY DEAR ♥

Well, to be fair, I told you that I didn't think the chapter as a whole would lift you up that much! I'm glad you feel for Rob, though, considering I know how much you don't like him. I'm kind of hoping that shedding some light on their relationship dynamics will help better understand where everyone is coming from.

IT WAS SO PERFECT I COULDN'T RESIST.

I'm glad it builds suspense! And I love Chris too, he's pretty fun to write both dead and alive.

I knew you'd love that :P

True, she wasn't plotting to tear them apart, but I think she feels responsible for some of the tension between Rob and Chris. I don't want to say too much because #spoilers, but I'm hoping future chapters will help people see why she thinks she's at fault here.

Thank you! I did treat myself a bit on Sunday, so I'm feeling a bit better than I was. You're the best!

Thanks for another amazing review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #5, by victoria_anne The Aftermath

9th January 2017:
HELLO MY LOVE

I love a Rob chapter. You know I love a Rob chapter. Especially after that development. You know the one. Yeah, that one.

(I'm talking about the blackboard)

Anyway.

Ooooh a hint of lurve in the air, Rob? Methinks it might be so.
Speaking of lurve in the air... Oh Fred, my little cinnamon roll ♥

Ugh this is just so intense! The tension between Rob and Cate is something I could touch, and I love how their history shows through Rob noticing things about her that other people probably wouldn't.

I like (and at the same time, don't - gah) the flashbacks that you sneak in. That night is never far from their minds, but you only dangle little bits at a time. It's good.

Poor little Rob has so many thoughts and emotions, and you write them really well. He's so human, like how he still feels bitterness at things that happened when Chris was alive.

I know I should be shipping Cate and Fred (and I do!) but I looove how they both had a proper night's sleep together.

*squee* Nevermind, I'm back to being all about Fred - LOOK HOW PROTECTIVE HE'S GETTING! Ahh!

Eek SUCH a good chapter! Don't keep us waiting long for the next one! *heart eyes*

♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: HELLO MY DARLING!

I know how much you love a Rob chapter, and I know EXACTLY what development you're talking about.

Fred IS a precious cinnamon roll. That is exactly perfect for him. ♥

I'm glad you like the flashbacks and don't think they're too overwhelming!

Aww, I love that through all of this, you think Rob is human still. Of course he is, but I'm glad it shows in the writing, too!

Hahahaha at your last two sentences. :D Exactly the reaction I was hoping for!

Next chapter has been sent over! Hopefully won't be too long :)

♥♥♥J


 Report Review

Review #6, by PaulaTheProkaryote Whispers

8th January 2017:
Hello!

I'm in love with this story and I was going to read all five posted chapters but I'm not now because I'm saving them for a seven hour car ride I've got on Thursday.

The beginning of the story really has set up so much suspense and I'm dying to know more. What happened on the fifteenth of July? WHAT HAPPENED? SHE'S NOT EVEN TALKING TO HER TWIN! They were wombmates! And when he does talk to her it's all "Rob this, Rob that." He doesn't even seem slightly concerned about what she's going through. Rob is going to be an interesting character. He doesn't seem like the typical ex boyfriend by any means. He really didn't take that apology very graciously which makes me want to know more about what happened in their relationship and how close they were and how this Chris fellow must be something in their relationship by the bitterness he shows just mentioning him.

I like that you picked triwizard year for this story. I love that year and it seems like it's so often glossed over. I do agree that Angelina would be brilliant in the tournament and despite the heaviness of this first chapter, it's nice to see idle chitchat among the students. After all, they are teenagers. Even through the dark, heavy subjects they'll come back with a sense of humor (ie. talking about being chased by death eaters).

Whatever happened on the fifteenth of July is clearly not common knowledge as no one else seems to know about it other than Rob, Cate, and Tommy. I think it seems like Chris must have also been involved but he's also not at Hogwarts so that makes me wonder if perhaps he's a muggle or maybe he's older or maybe he goes to another school. An accident! Names in the paper! CLUES! Who is Chris? Is he even alive? Oh I can't wait for the next chapter!

I think I'm also really going to like Cate's character. I do love the artist types. Especially since she's a tortured soul at the moment. When she finds her muse her artwork will no doubt be exceptional. She seems to be a bit wild, despite being a prefect. I like that complex contradiction. She's apparently always going on adventures. I wonder if the accident was an adventure gone wrong? She's a very strong character, fighting against whatever it is that's haunting her with such resolution.

I really think you've crafted a lovely story so far and the flow is so strong. It was so easy to move sentence to sentence, scene to scene. This is a really strong first chapter!

Author's Response: Hi again, Paula!

*blushes* I'm so happy you like it! This story is kind of my baby, and I'm touched that you're going to save the rest of the chapters to read at a later date :D

Nope, Cate and Tommy are definitely not talking at the beginning of this. They have a lot of issues to resolve, and they're quite different people. She's the kind of person that bottles things up before she explodes, and it doesn't help that people go around blaming her. As for what happened: you're just going to keep reading and see if you can figure out the puzzle! Because I'm trying to make it a puzzle, hopefully it works out that way. ♥

Rob is definitely not a typical ex. The four of them (Cate, Rob, Chris, and Tom) all are VERY connected and have strong pasts together, which will come to play later on in the story.

I love the triwizard year! If for nothing else the Yule Ball, but it's actually the perfect set-up for a scene I have planned for in the future.

Good, I'm glad! I try to keep some of the lightheardness of teenagers in this piece, so I'm relieved that you found it believable with humor.

Nope, it's not common knowledge at all, it's part of the mystery ;) Lots of clues! I can't answer those because they'll be sprinkled in throughout the next couple of chapters.

She's definitely a tortured soul/artist at the moment, and she IS a bit wild. I didn't want her to be the stereotypical uptight Prefect who falls in love with a prankster, y'know? Erm, I MEAN. XD Ahem. Cate's definitely stronger than she gives herself credit for; there was a reason she was sorted into Gryffindor, after all!

Thank you so much again, Paula!

♥ Jill


 Report Review

Review #7, by PaulaTheProkaryote Shadows

8th January 2017:
WHOA. HELLO, hello, HELLO. Let's again ignore how late I am. I got caught up in traveling and making terrible graphics.

When I opened this chapter to see that she was dueling someone I had to immediately switch back and check if I missed something. Coming back and reading the third line clarified for me and if I weren't so impatient I would have been fine. I love how easily the banter flows for Cate and Lee and the twins. Cate is my favorite person in the history of people. As soon as I read “Maybe you need to open yourself up to the magic" I literally asked myself the same thing as what she said. She's hilarious.

I can't began to imagine how stressed and on edge she must be if she isn't sleeping. The whispers must be driving her completely mad. Honestly, I'm exhausted for her. Not eating, not sleeping. I think she should go see Madam Pomfrey and get pumped with potions and maybe some therapy. Definitely some therapy.

I still hate Rob. I hate all of them. But only because CATE IS SO SAD AND THEY SHOULD ALL BE UNDERSTANDING AND KIND TO HER BECAUSE SHE'S A PRECIOUS ANGEL BABY. Of course she pushed him away. She was grieving and dealing with it all and he should just understand. I want to smack the snot out of him. Ugh. Rob. If you have one of the twins punch him in the face by the end of this story I'll leave you like ten reviews on anything you want. It's not bribery, it's just doing what's right.

You seriously write the twins so well. There they are! My precious babies! Fred and George must have really been quite brilliant to come up with all the products they came up with. It's just that they don't find school to be the thing to apply the brilliance to. “While I’m flattered that our silence worries you, Cat, trust me when I say that you won’t have to be worried for long." OH NO.

SO MUCH DEVELOPMENT AND I CAN'T WAIT TO READ WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

Author's Response: Hello! Welcome back! :D

Yeah, Cate and Tommy have a very strained relationship. It's partially due to personality clash (despite the fact that they're in the same house) and partially due to some other things that will be revealed later on - and partially because Tommy doesn't "approve" of Cate's taste in friends and she doesn't think she needs his approval on that.

Haha, it is a real thing, but it might not be as big of a deal as Tommy's making it out to be. He's mostly not telling her because it's not his place to tell her - he's protecting someone and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

I hadn't even planned that as intentional paralleling, but it does work out quite nicely, doesn't it? XD

I'm not sure if you're supposed to believe that she's to blame. That's just what Tommy thinks, but... spoilers.

I'm so glad you like the characterization of the twins! I struggle to write humor, so I'm so glad they seem straight from the page because that's really important to me. ♥

The quarry is the place where everything happened, yes. And no, it wasn't her fault to not use magic, but now that she's realizing it afterwards, and she had this tool to save him, she feels guilty that she didn't do it even though her reaction at the time was completely justified.

Bahaha, her prick of a brother. I can't wait for you to read future chapters :')

Eep! Thank you thank you! This story is my baby so I'm so pleased when people like it so much.

And your reviews are always amazing. ♥


 Report Review

Review #8, by PaulaTheProkaryote Allies

8th January 2017:
Low key SCREECHING because I read this before nano but somehow didn't leave a review like I thought I did. I was checking my half written reviews and found it there! So I'm making it up to you!

Rob is completely losing it, but he really, really should do something to relieve Cate's guilt. If he ever cared for her in the slightest, he would. I'm angry at how everyone has been treating her. It's so undeserved.

I'm curious as to why Tom didn't like Cate or what the issue there was. Like I get the whole brother doesn't want his sister in bed with a friend, I truly do, but he's just so severe on her that I can't help but wonder if there's something more going on to cause this animosity.

Old Cate used to be such a fun, carefree person and it stings to read the contrast to the Cate we are currently seeing. Obviously he didn't push him, but really, these kids need some serious therapy. The guilt and the anger is absolutely consuming them to the point that it's ruining their lives.

“I’m… fine. Hanging in there.” I don't know if this was meant to be humor (it was a very tense moment) but I died laughing at this. I'm just imagining him standing out there screaming, full of emotion, and then, uh, yeah, i'm cool. just hanging in there.

Silently cheering Angelina on because dear heavens above this boy needs someone, anyone to talk to. AND SHE GOT HIM TO SMILE SO NOW I SHIP IT. Like I know people can just be friends...but...I SHIP IT.

Mentioning Tom wanting to be an obliviator brings to mind the fact that at some point I wanted to write a story about a back alley obliviator that will wipe specific memories that cause you pain and the ethical dilemma related to it.

I like the idea of Tom putting forth some kind of effort and I like to think Cate would be at least semi receptive to it. She needs someone. Might as well be her brother.

As usual, brilliant chapter!

Author's Response:
Hello Paula! I'm just happy that you're here!

I'm so glad you're enjoying Cate. ♥ She's kind of like my baby because I re-wrote this story so many times over the years, so I'm thrilled that people right now are on her side. (Er, did I say that out loud? :D) I'm glad the confusion was clarified in the chapter though but please feel free to point something out if it doesn't!

She definitely needs some kind of therapy. Or some potions. Or some other solution that will be revealed in a future chapter!

Can I hold you to the ten reviews thing? Because I might have a plan up my sleeve that you'll approve of later on.

I'm so glad you're enjoying my take on the twins! I feel like I struggle so much to write humor, and the twins are so unique that I don't want to mess them up, so it makes me happy when they appear to be in character/canon until they need to change later on. And don't worry TOO MUCH dear Paula, just remember that this takes place in the 4th book, which is the Goblet of Fire.

Thank you for another wonderful review!! I hope to see you in future chapters!

♥♥


 Report Review

Review #9, by PaulaTheProkaryote The Guilty

8th January 2017:
I worry so much for Cate and her mental health. How the heck is she going to survive school with the actual ghost of Chris haunting her throughout classes? DANG RIGHT IT WASN'T HER FAULT.

Hello Fred My love. Chocolate cures everything. "on official business" made me laugh. Like what official business is he up to? Maybe pygmy puff business. I totally don't blame her for being weary of the chocolate either.

The easy banter between them makes my heart thump. I'm so happy when you write them together. More please. TOM YOU RUINED THE TEMPORARY HAPPINESS YOU HARPY.

I love the Gryffindor girls stepping in and doing this sweet hostile takeover. This is the support my CateyCat deserves (no you can't make me stop using this nickname). I agree she is truly a Gryffindor dealing with her pain by herself.

I'm excited to see what changes the Triwizard Tournament will be bringing!

Maybe drawing it out will help her grieve? Ugh, Tommy, FINALLY. I was wondering if he'd ever step up and be her brother. It was nice though. It was sweet. She will survive it. I'm sure of it.

This was a heavy chapter, but I feel like we got so much character development and I am so happy to have it. I love her so much. I love the canon characters just as much. You've just given them so much dimension and it makes the whole story that much better!

Author's Response: Cate and Fred give me life. They seriously write themselves so often, and I'm glad you like them together! And of course Tom ruined the temporary happiness because, well... he's Tom. :P

Omg CateyCat. I love it! And yeah, I figured the girls wouldn't take it lightly if she tried to isolate herself from them completely.

Yeah, Tommy finally does a good thing. ♥

I'm glad you thought there was character development! I've been really trying to work on that in general, and that you love Cate and the others too. I get nervous writing the canon characters - especially the Weasley twins! - so it always makes me happy to hear that they have dimension :)


 Report Review

Review #10, by PaulaTheProkaryote Pride

8th January 2017:
That introductory paragraph actually gave me life. I slept through the rain last night in my area but I really wanted to listen to it. I feel like I can hear it clearly. Simply existing is better than a tortured existence.

I like to think that this numbness might be the first step to healing. Especially with her brother making a better attempt at being one. I hate him much less than I did to start with. And I think she was right to make the remarks she did to Tommy. Like it was all well deserved. I do agree with him that it wasn't her fault and she's clearly been in denial about it.

Okay let's just discuss this for a second. I don't think Rob is a good fit for her. They've been through a lot together and they're both being swallowed up by the same grief, but I just genuinely don't think that's enough to hold them together. So like...What about Fred? Right? Right? yes.

Rob's jealousy and resentment of Chris so close to his death was honestly a bit gross. Like not the way you wrote it or anything, but just the fact that he could be so harsh and cruel to her. He put her in a bad spot and in my opinion forced her hand on it. I think I should probably feel sympathy for him but I don't. That being said I don't doubt that you'll redeem him in some way.

Fred and his chocolate frogs

Author's Response: You're so spot on with your character insight. ARE YOU READING MY MIND AS I WRITE THIS STORY?

What about Fred? *snickers* I have no idea what you're talking about, Paula!

He was very harsh and cruel, and what I'm going to say isn't going to justify his behavior, but there was a lot that DID happen that night that Cate and also readers don't know about yet. It's a lot grey-er than what's been laid out. And I'm not so sure about the redeeming part... *innocent whistling*

I feel like Fred is a lot more perspective than people give him credit for. I'm super excited to explore his character more in this.

I feel like that line actually define's Rob's character. Who says "self-aware" anyway? XD

Thanks for your AMAZING reviews ♥


 Report Review

Review #11, by PaulaTheProkaryote Ghost

8th January 2017:
Hello lovely!

I waited a few days for chapter seven because I didn't want to be all bogged down with the flu and today is the first day of any notable recovery!

I feel like if we took the first paragraph of every single chapter and compiled them it would win an award for the most amazing descriptive scene setting known to mankind. No exaggeration at all. It feels like autumn and I love it so much. "Trees that had once been bright green were slowly changing to gold and red, giving the forest a brilliant glow any time I walked passed it." That line in particular.

Juxtaposing the contrast of a warm snuggly carefree autumn filled with cocoa compared to ones with nightmares and ghosts and barely being on speaking terms was just a really brilliant move to me. I was so wrapped up in the first that it really made the second seem even darker.

I love the ease with Lee and I think he's a solid character. He seems very true to the books or at least my general portrayal in my mind.

The whole ghost whisper thing reminds me of CoS when Hermione tells Harry that even in the wizarding world it's weird to hear voices. It really makes it easier to explain why she's still not telling anyone (besides those that already think she's mad).

I can't tell you what I would give to have a prefects bath. It has to be the most amazing bath in the world. I know we have dark secrets that even our MCs don't realize, but like Cate's memory clearly tells me time and time again that she can't feel so guilty. I refuse it. She's a sweet angel baby lambchop who just needs to talk it all out.

THANK GOD SHE'S GETTING HELP.

“I’m not dead,” Fred growled, YOU MONSTER YOU JUST WANT ME TO BE SOBBY OH MY GOD I DIDN'T THINK OF THE FUTURE.

Holy guacamole. wow, chris. wow, chapter seven. i have no words. This was such a good chapter! I'm terrified of the next one!

Author's Response: I'm glad you're feeling better! ♥

Aww thanks! Description is something I've been trying to work on, so I'm glad it seems to be paying off. :) I liked the idea of paralleling her two views of fall; fall can be change or comfort, and to me it made sense that she'd dread longer nights and shorter days if she has nightmares.

Lee is a cutie pie. I heart him.

Oooh, I didn't even think about that but you're totally right! Yay for more canon backup!

Oh my god, I want to take a Prefects bath SO BADLY. Maybe she can't, but the poor baby does. Er, there's also sides to her that you haven't seen yet. :P

Well, she KNOWS she needs help. Whether or not she'll get it is another story entirely.

THAT'S THE REASON I NEEDED TO WRITE A SEQUEL. I BLAME JO.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm slowly but surely working on chapter 8 :D

Thanks for the lovely review ♥♥


 Report Review

Review #12, by PaulaTheProkaryote The Aftermath

8th January 2017:
Can I just say how happy I am to be at home with a functioning laptop so I don't have to try and squint at words on my computer? AND FOR MY BABIES OMG I'M SO EXCITED TO FINALLY READ THIS CHAPTER I'VE WAITED A LIFETIME FOR A MOMENT LIKE THIS.

LOOK IT'S LEGIT NOW AND SHE'S NOT COMPLETELY CRAZY SO OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE NEEDS TO APOLOGIZE TO HER. Well Rob does. Can I just mention that something about this story sends me into caps all the time. I can't help it. Friendly caps though.

Thank you Fred for your comic relief. My love.

Have I mentioned that you have captured Professor McGonagall so well. Like she's stern and inflexible, but then we get those hints of such sincere care and concern for her students and all of your characterizations just make me so happy

I like that Rob is a bit miffed (maybe not the right word, but at least fuzzy about it) with Fred being all concerned about Cate.

“How long has what been going on? Rob, I told you that I was seeing him a while ago - you hardly took me seriously.” JUST WHEN I START TO LIKE HIM I TOTALLY HATE HIM. Like bam, you just want to act so sanctimonious, but SHE ALREADY TOLD YOU AND YOU BLEW IT OFF.

I'm glad she managed to sleep all night, but I still want to throat punch Rob. I'm a bitter person. I just feel like he can't even hold a conversation with her without starting something for no reason. "And when you do, you might be sorry that you did.” THIS MAKES ME HATE HIM. THIS. He's all, oooh, Cate, cuddle with me, and then UNNECESSARY HATEFULNESS. Doesn't matter even if it is true. That's just plain rude. I don't care how heart broken he is.

So, here we are again. Me telling you that I love, love, love your characters. Everyone is just so dynamic and interesting and even Rob, who I high key hate most of the time, is just such a brilliantly developed character that I can't wait to read more in his perspective. Also I don't know that I've ever shipped anything more aggressively than Fred/Cate. Can't help it! He's just so lovable.

NO pressure, but I seriously can't wait for the next chapter! Also I think you said on twitter you were feeling sick so if you are I hope you feel better soon!

Comment Actions

Author's Response: I already told you, but your review had me snickering in the breakroom by myself. Your capslock reactions give me life, just saying. ♥

Yesss, it's legit now! I debated a long time about this and just decided, "WHY NOT". Seriously I love your reactions.

Ooh, I'm glad you like my McGonagall! The canon characters are so hard to write :)

Rob is totally miffed. And maybe a bit jealous and territorial :P

Yeah, they had a bit of a talk about it in chapter 3. Um... sorry? Hah. Yeah, he's a jerk.

Um. Um. I want to respond to this paragraph but SPOILERS. ><

I am so so happy you love them! I've worked really hard on them and I'm glad it's come across. And I'm so flattered that you think Rob is so developed even when you hate him. He is kind of the antagonist of the story, if the story needed a villain. ;)

I think you're going to love the next chapter! It's underway and I'm seriously excited about it too. And thank you, I'm feeling better than my last tweet so I appreciate the words!

♥♥


 Report Review

Review #13, by Felpata Lupin The Aftermath

28th December 2016:
Hi, Jill!

Here with another holiday present for you (and because I couldn't resist reading the new chapter :P)

Ah, Rob's POV! I love Rob's POV! You should write it more often! (I mean, I love Cate's as well, but there's something about Rob's pride and bitterness that I adore. Plus, he is slightly less emotionally heavy, which is refreshing from time to time... :P)

I loved his concern for Cate and his jealousy throughout the chapter. Honestly, I had forgotten that Cate had talked to him about Chris' ghost... I'm wondering what really happened when Chris died... and what Chris wants from Cate... yes, the questions are always the same, but I guess you'll reveal everything little by little and that I just have to wait, right?

"In case anyone’s wondering, I’m fine"

Ahahah! That's definitely something Fred would've said! I'm glad he decided to go after her, but I would've preferred if Rob or Tommy did... then, again, there is still too much tension among them and Cate didn't need it in that moment.

"On the one hand, it felt like this semester was crawling by - sometimes each day felt like a weight I could barely hold onto. And on the other hand, it was as if I blinked and three months had passed. "

Love this passage, practically the story of my life, I can relate to this so much!

I'm glad they managed to talk it through, and that they somehow managed to link again, even if there is still a lot of resentment between them. The fact that Cate finally confessed to him that she does need help really makes me hopeful. You can work it out, guys!

I also really loved the flashback of the night when Chris died, and the parallel of Rob comforting her back then and now. I always love when you include those flashbacks because they really help to understand a little bit better your characters. And I love how you manage to include them without making the flow suffer from it, it's really great!

"I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so excited about sleep before"

It's official! I love Fred Weasley! :D

But I obviously can see why this would be such a big deal for the both of them! Yay for a full night of sleep!!! Hope things will really get better from now on. And she gave him a kiss on the cheek? Aww... sweet... (I know I shouldn't hope in Rob and Cate getting back together, because it's so obviously not happening and it probably wouldn't work anyway... but I so ship them, I can't help it...)

Okay, I think I've been rambling enough! See you soon, darling!

Lots of love,
Chiara

Author's Response: Chiara! Hello! ♥

I'm so glad you like Rob's POV. His chapters are hard to get going, but they're so fun to write when I get there. And I agree, it's nice to have a little bit of a relief from all of Cate's (understandable) emotional baggage.

Yeah, Rob's definitely got some jealousy issues :P Something he needs to work on. Or not. Haha. And in terms of answers, they might be closer than you think! That's all I'm gonna say about that because #spoilers.

Cate needs someone to lift her up right now. And that's all I'm gonna say about that, too. :P

Yeah, Rob and Cate still have a LOT to work out, but at least they're trying! Communication is good, even if it turns into a semi-fight like it did here. They just have so much history between them and things that haven't even been discussed yet.

I'm so glad you liked the flashback! I added it on a whim, but it seemed to work for the moment.

Fred is adorable and I love writing him. I'm so glad that you love him too!

You and Bianca, man. I SHOULD SAY SORRY BUT I WON'T. *runs away*

Thanks for the lovely review!

♥♥♥Jill


 Report Review

Review #14, by Felpata Lupin Ghost

26th October 2016:
HPFT Team Werewolf review! :)

Hey, Jill!
Ah, finally I'm here for the new chapter, I've been meaning to stop by for a while, I missed this story!

So it wasn't only her imagination. Chris is real. And he wants something. And for some reason I don't think it's anything good... This chapter was definitely scary... At least maybe she'll be able to open up with Rob and/or Tommy now. Maybe?

But let's go with order...

I loved your description of Autumn in the beginning. I could relate to it so much, I'm the sort of person who loves to spend evenings inside, cuddled under a blanket, with a good book and something hot to drink, while rain pours outside... I think it was interesting that you showed how Cate's attitude towards the season has changed in light of the Summer events. What was reassuring is now unsettling. I could just feel all these emotions in those first two paragraphs and you wrote them so well.

Did I mention that Lee is lovely? I think I did... maybe... a couple of times... ;) I'm glad Cate had some company, at least.

“Well, you know Fred better than I do - does he ever do things the easy way?” Ahahah! No, I bet he didn't. :D (Fred is lovely as well, by the way)

The bathroom scene was so scary! Poor Cate... and she does need help, she can't go on like that! I'm glad she at least found in herself the strenght to admit it.

Rob knows better. I'm so glad he forced her to join the others. And I know it'll most likely won't happen, but I think they could really try again. They know each other and care for each other a lot. But I guess too much has happened between them...

OMG! The writing on the board! What's going to happen now? What does Chris want from her? I'm really worried... (and I really need a new chapter soon...)

Great job, just as always!
Many hugs and much love!
Chiara

Author's Response: Hi, Chiara! Go Team Werewolf! :P

This chapter ended up taking a much darker turn than I originally tended while I was writing it, but I think it fits the mood and the story. And as far as talking to Rob and Tommy... we'll see. She wants to, but there's a lot of bad blood between them still.

Thank you! I didn't really know where to start this chapter, so I just kind of went with the description. Glad it worked out :P

Lee is a good lad, haha.

Yeah, she could finally admit it at least to herself. Now admitting it to other people... that's going to be another task entirely ;)

Rob *does* know better. I don't want to say too much to give anything away, but they do care about each other despite everything that's happened.

Another last minute decision! Whoops :P

And hopefully another chapter will come soon, though it probably won't give you the answers that you're looking for quite yet.

Thank you again for the lovely review!

♥Jill


 Report Review

Review #15, by victoria_anne Ghost

22nd October 2016:
HPFT Team Vampire Review

(Vamps for the win boo yah)

Okay. So. Yeah. Wow.

Things are getting dark(er)... Which I love, of course. Poor Cate is really starting to suffer though :( Between hearing/seeing things and not eating, I'm getting a bit anxious about what's to come! I feel like this is only the beginning :O

I always forget when this story is set, so whenever Triwizard Tournament stuff comes up I get excited all over again!

HAI CEDRIC

Omg I hope we see more of Fred and George's attempt at putting their names in the Goblet. Pls write that. Pls.

OMG HE WROTE ON THE BLACKBOARD ARGH. I actually got goosebumps, this is getting freaky! What does he want to say to her?!

There's something about your descriptions in this chapter that would be beautiful anywhere else (not that they're not) but in this they just seem eerie, which is perfect for setting the mood.

Don't leave me hanging too long or I'll set my vampire on your werewolf.

Author's Response: Yeah, things are definitely getting much darker for Cate. She just needs a little bit of love. It might only be the beginning.

To be honest, I kind of forget too so then I have to remember to write things in :D

Haha, we will see!

He does have important things to say to her, though time will tell.

Thank you for the lovely review! Even if it is for team vampire. :P

♥J


 Report Review

Review #16, by Rapier Rodent Pride

22nd August 2016:
Oh wow. I'm so torn about this chapter.

I HOPE Tommy is acting out of real concern and love for her, but after reading Cate's thoughts, I'm not sure that's the case. And he does have a rather lousy way of showing it usually.

And I actually feel rather bad for Rob here. Cate may have gone into the relationship with a set of stipulations, but what he said is true - things and feelings can change. And she's being awful selfish to not at least acknowledge that. Him falling in love with her doesn't mean she has to love him back, but she can't get mad at him for it happening, and she can't expect him to ignore it and have things go back to how they were before.

Now, the Fred part. I really liked this part. I like that he's playing games with her to get to know her! It's so unique and such a Fred thing to do. True story here - when I was in high school I had a friend that I used to do this with. We'd write each other funny quizzes and pass them back and forth for the other to answer. Fun times. Probably why this part made me smile so much, as well.

And Fred, mate, gotta hand it to you. Of course you would know that the way to a girl's heart is through chocolate. Nicely played!

I like the glimmer of hope you give at the end of this chapter, that Rob and Cate can somehow reconcile and be...something...again.

Still, I feel like we haven't seen the last of your ghost. And I feel like there are big, terrible secrets here that still need to come out and are hanging...waiting...teetering on the edge. I imagine the crash is going to be both huge and painful. :(

Great writing again. I really think your chapters are getting even better, which is awesome considering what a high level you started at anyway.

I've enjoyed reading this and hope you'll have more up soon! Thanks for posting!

Author's Response: This is actually my favorite chapter so far, but I understand your feelings!

I think Tommy *is* acting out of real concern, but given his previous behavior, it's hard for Cate to understand and accept. He does normally have a lousy way to show it, but she needed to call him out.

Aww, good. I wanted everyone to see where Rob is coming from and why he's been so hostile towards her because it was important for their journey.

I'm so glad you like the Fred part! I was kind of nervous about it because I wasn't sure if it was something that he would do, but everyone seems to love it and I'm glad you do as well! It was actually really fun to write that bit.

Ah, yes, Rob and Cate. Will they, won't they? *innocent whistling* But yes, hope is necessary!

As far as the crash, well... it will be big. And terrible. And my poor babies *hugs them*

Oh, wow, thank you so much for the compliment! This story is kind of my baby, and I'm so glad that you've enjoyed this so much! I have a few other WIPs to work on at the moment, but I plan to have another chapter up in the not-so-distant future.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your amazing reviews!!! I can't wait to find out who you are so I can squish you!

♥Jill


 Report Review

Review #17, by Rapier Rodent Cracks

21st August 2016:
YES! Finally her brother acted like a brother! That moment was just so good! Her finally drawing, and then finally letting the tears come, and then Tommy being there to hold her. So simple and yet so profound. It's my favorite moment yet in a very good story!

Now, I'm also getting a little creeped out by Chris's ghost. I mean, why is he here? Does he want her to know the truth? Does he want revenge? Is he just tying to say goodbye? This story is like 3/10 romance, 3/10 murder mystery, 3/10 ghost story, with a little bit of high school drama thrown in on the side. It's amazing that you can get all that in there, and still have such a brilliant story!

I really did love the bonding between the girls her age, though. And because we know these other girls, we know they would be caring and concerned. I love that they are there for her.

Now Fred. Bravo on the banter and writing there! I'm a bit picky about my Freds (as you might have guessed from my code name here) and you are doing a splendid job! Can't wait to see what he has planned for this friendship.

Also, I kinda wonder what he and George are up to. That's always something to worry about, lol. Especially if they are involving Hagrid.

Great stuff! Thanks for writing and posting!

Author's Response: Aww yeah, Tommy finally stepped up and put his big brother shoes on, so to speak. This actually wasn't the original scene - it was originally Lee, but I changed it to Tommy after a friend suggested it - and I'm so glad I did because it makes way more sense this way. I'm glad it's your favorite moment!

In terms of Chris' ghost, all I'm going to say is that you shouldn't be creeped out. Well, maybe a little bit, and his purpose will be revealed in due time ;)

I sort of forgot about the girls, honestly. Oops. But I felt like this was definitely necessary for Cate.

Thank you! I'm trying hard to keep him as canon as I can, so I'm glad that you think I'm doing a great job. Sometimes banter is hard for me to write, but it flows naturally with these two.

All I'm going to say is keep in mind that this takes place in the Goblet of Fire ;)

Thanks for another great review!

♥ Jill


 Report Review

Review #18, by Rapier Rodent The Guilty

20th August 2016:
Okay. I must give you a hand. This story is FAR MORE complicated than I even imagined.

So, Rob is actually responsible for Chris' death? Wow. That's just...wow. If this were CSI they would be getting ready to arrest him by about this point in the show/story.

Maybe you are really Agatha Christie in disguise? Mixing magic and murder mysteries in the same story!

It was a very interesting switch to suddenly be in Rob's head instead of Cate's. There's a lot of guilt going around here, and apparently some of it is not totally misplaced.

So, Rob and Angelina? Is this going to take the place of Fred and Angelina, to clear the way for Fred and Cate?

I should be typing more here, but I'm seriously still kinda reeling from the revelation that Rob pushed Chris. I mean, that's HUGE stuff! Way bigger than who broke up with whom or what so and so got on their Charm's test.

Still here, still needing to find out what happens. And as always, still great writing!

Author's Response: You're right about one thing: this story - and all the characters - are exceptionally complicated ;)

That's all I'm going to say about that.

I'm DEFINITELY NOT Agatha Christie in disguise, but thanks for the huge compliment! I don't often write mysteries, so I'm glad it's coming across well!

This story definitely has bigger issues going on and I can't wait to see what you think of the rest!

So glad you're still intrigued!

♥Jill


 Report Review

Review #19, by Rapier Rodent Allies

20th August 2016:
Cate's having a hard time in this chapter, isn't she. Poor girl. I must say I AM glad that she took that nap. It had to be good for her.

I really enjoyed the part with Lee in here. He's not a character you see in fics very often; he always gets overshadowed by his two more attention grabbing buddies. It was very nice to see him get the spotlight on his own for a bit. I really loved the way you wrote him as still funny, but awfully caring and concerned as well. Nice job!

I'm a bit torn on what to feel about Cate and Rob. It's obvious that they care for each other, and I kinda wish I could just smack them both upside the head and tell them to work it out. But, also, everyone is also entitled to their own feelings and the time to work through them. I kinda think Cate needs to realize that about Rob...and herself as well.

All this rambling about the characters tells you that you are doing an excellent job at writing complicated and detailed OCs. Take that as a huge compliment. :)

So, does this mean there is going to be Cate and Fred stuff in the future? I mean, I know there will, given your tags on this fic, but...yeah. Interested to see how that will develop!

And I really need to know the whole story about how Chris died. Gotta work out exactly what's going on.

Author's Response: Aw yeah, I wanted to keep Lee in here without him being overshadowed by the twins. He's a really great guy, and he cares about people, so of course he's going to be concerned if he thinks that something's wrong. I'm glad you liked his appearance here!

You know, you're not wrong in the sentiment of wanting to smack Rob and Cate in the head. Even when writing, I want to do that sometimes :P And you're right, she DOES need to realize that Rob's entitled to his own feelings. It's a journey ♥

Thank you! I definitely take that as a huge compliment. I love dark and complicated OCs ;)

I'm so excited for their development as well! They're going to be adorable together.

Thanks for another great review!


 Report Review

Review #20, by Rapier Rodent Shadows

20th August 2016:
Oooh, things are getting interesting now!

Okay, first of all, I find your take on twins unique. Twins are usually written like Fred and George - two people who are always together, practically part of each other. And don't get me wrong, I love that, but I think you've done a very realistic thing here to show a pair that actually AREN'T attached at the hip. It's still an extremely authentic sibling relationship and it's intriguing. Especially when you juxtaposition that next to Fred and George's version of being twins. So, nice writing!

Secondly, it's really fun to explore the Hogwarts era from a different character's point of view. To have familiar names pop up (Fred, Lee, Angelina...) but experience them from inside someone else's head. We're two chapters in to a Hogwarts Era fic and you have yet to mention Harry Potter. LOL. That's very different. (And probably should teach poor Harry something about him always being so worried about what everyone is thinking of him...most of the time, they actually probably aren't! LOL)

Oh, something horrible and awful and sad happened at that swimming hole over the summer, didn't it. Poor kids. And this brings us to the real question - is Cate really seeing a ghost? Can Muggles come back as ghosts?

Oh, and Cate, take the nap. Naps are amazing and the best thing ever, and all too soon you will grow up and never have an empty weekend for napping ever again. So, while you still can, just take the nap.

Author's Response: Oh wow, you're back already!! Hello hello!

Yeah, I figured that twins were just regular siblings. Sure, they have that special bond - and I don't forget about that in this fic - but some twins don't get along and some twins are very different. I'm glad that you liked that, and noticed that parallel there with the Weasleys ;)

Ah yes, I love Hogwarts era fics. And you're right, but given everything that's happening with Cate, I doubt she'd be too bothered by the hero of the wizarding world :P

Naps are the best medicine!

Thank you for another amazing review!

♥Jill


 Report Review

Review #21, by Rapier Rodent Whispers

20th August 2016:
Hello there!

Please excuse my unfashionably-lateness. I would tell you the sordid tale, featuring pirates, marauding unicorns, and some Muggle contraption known as bouncing house, but I fear you would be bored. Besides, this review is supposed to be about you.

So yes, let's talk about you, and this AMAZING story you have started here!

SUCH TALENT! I have found myself all caught up in this tale already! I have questions that I want to know answers to.

Who exactly is this girl the the multiple nick-names and twin brother? What happened in July that is causing all this lingering grief? Who is Chris? And who/what is making that voice, if it's real at all!

See, this is good! Great stories leave things like these dangling, tantalizing readers to come back for more and find those answers. Something you have done SO WELL!

An utterly perfect appearance by the oh so dashing Weasley Twins did not go amiss either. :D There are so few stories out there that include these characters, and do it well. BRAVO!

You certainly have a gift for writing characters and drawing readers into caring about them right from the start. I can't wait to see where this goes!

Author's Response: Hello there!

Don't worry about the lateness, I'm just very happy that you came along to read!

Aw stop, you're making me blush :P I really wanted an interesting first chapter for this. I had a lot of things to set up, so I'm glad that you had all of the important questions at the ready by the end. Even without an immediate cliffhanger, I knew I had to give you guys a reason to keep coming back!

Thank you so much! I struggle quite a bit writing the Weasley twins, and keeping them in character is important to me, so thank you!

Wow, thank you for the lovely review!

♥Jill


 Report Review

Review #22, by Felpata Lupin Pride

15th August 2016:
Hey, Jill!
Finally here with the review I promised you (I missed this story...)

This chapter was slightly more light-hearted than the previous ones and I really appreciated that. I'm so glad Tommy finally decided to give her some support and that Rob is trying to get close to her again. Cate really needs them both.

I loved how you included the memory of the break up. I think it made perfect sense and really helped clearing up both Cate and Rob's points of view. It was just so sad, though... Poor Rob... Poor Cate... Poor Chris... :(

The growing friendship with Fred is just so cute! I love the questions game! And Fred's answer about the best part of the summer made me chuckle... :P

I really hope they'll all find their serenity in the end, they deserve it!

Another great chapter for your great story! Keep it up!

All my love and snowball hug,
Chiara

Author's Response: Hello Chiara!♥

Yeah, this chapter was definitely more light-hearted, but that was necessary, y'know? Things needed to move forward... well, at least for a bit! Haha. Tommy finally came around (sort of) after his conversation with Rob and seeing Cate crack, but you're right, she does need them both. Her boys :(

I thought it was a good time to see where they were both coming from before Rob swallowed his pride, so I'm glad you thought it made sense! Poor everyone though, it's such a sad situation.

To be honest I chuckled while writing that :P So I'm glad it made you laugh too.

Thanks for another great review!

♥♥♥
Jill


 Report Review

Review #23, by victoria_anne Pride

31st July 2016:


(Thank you for giving me the opportunity to break my review drought)

You KNOW I love Rob and you still wrote this!!! WHYYY. They're relationship is just so complicated, the poor things! And being soulmates with Chris is just - I just - *dies*

And a bit of Fred, yay! This was my favourite line hands down: I didn’t realize just how much I was seeing Fred Weasley until I had a small pile of chocolate stacked on my nightstand.

And the asking questions thing? CUTE! Such a small thing but it really works and I can totally see Fred being that kind of guy. It's so sweet. He's so sweet. Chocolate is so sweet.

Whoops, got distracted by chocolate. Again.

Thank goodness it's ended with a bit of hope (Rob is so cute omg), but knowing you, I don't think I'll get my hopes up about anything just yet XD
But we're getting deeper into the relationship between Cate/Chris/Rob and it's complex and heartbreaking but it's working (at making me emote, that is).

I can see why you love this chapter, you should be proud because it's amazing. But everything you write is amazing ♥

Can't wait to see what chapter 7 brings! Let me know if I need one of the following items: Tissues, tissues or tissues.

Love B ♥

Author's Response: (Thank YOU for breaking your review drought for little old me!)

I warned you!! In fairness, I WARNED YOU. And yeah, their relationship is super complicated and I kind of forget that you guys need to see what's going on in my head to understand Rob better. And yeah, soulmates with Chris. That will come up again later, have no fear ♥

You know, I knew you were going to love that line the second I wrote it. It's one of my favorites, too, and I'm glad you think the questions thing is very Fred-like, because I wasn't sure.

Yeah, things needed to progress, so hope is here! For now! Can't say how long it'll stay, though, haha. But it's definitely necessary.

I am very proud of this chapter. I think it's my best one to date, to be honest. But thank you!!

I can't say for certain because I still don't know what's going to happen, but bring tissues, just in case.

♥♥♥
Jill


 Report Review

Review #24, by Penelope Inkwell Cracks

10th July 2016:
Hello hello!

Finally made it over here. Sorry it took so long.

I was really, really glad to see the girls' supporting Cate. I was a bit worried that she might not take it well, but I thought you balanced that perfectly. Her relief at having people who are showing that they care about her makes so much sense, especially since she's been feeling so alone, abandoned by Rob and Tommy. But then you also keep her personality in place. She is clearly a very guarded person, and she's been through so much, so I thought having her basically say, "thank you so much, but I'm not ready to talk," was the perfect response from her character. That could have gone so many ways, and the way you chose really made a lot of sense. I liked the little bit of levity at the end of that scene, too, where you reminded us that the Triwizard Tournament was coming and there was some Krum fangirling. I think I've said this before, but I am so excited to see the little bits of the Triwizard Tournament peeking into the background of this story, and to watch how it all fits together! I think your choice of time period is brilliant.

I'm so curious about this apparition. Is Chris' ghost all in her head? Is he really a ghost at all? Can only magical people become ghosts? I'd never thought of that before. I wonder if he's real, or if there's a part of her that wants to know the truth, and her brain has created something to spur her on. I mean, he is dead, right? He's gotta be dead.

We think.

Then, of course, that bit at the end was so sad. There was some definite catharsis there, through her art and her crying. And I liked that when Catherine finally let go of her tight hold on her emotions, her brother did show up. She gave him an opening, and he did step up to be the brother he ought to be. I just wonder if they'll be closer after this, or if it was a one-off event. I wonder: it must be extremely abnormal for her to cry. I could be wrong, but she seems to be very much the type to keep it all held in. I wonder how much of Tommy holds his distance because he doesn't think he can really help her? Because he'll think that if he tries, she'll eventually just rebuff him. I don't know, I'm just taking a stab at figuring out their rather unusual dynamic.

Favorite quote:

“You recognize my work,” he said fondly, placing his hand over his heart. “I didn’t know.”

Oh, Fred. You are adorable. And it was nice to see Cate loosen up around him. I was also really proud of him for offering her that chocolate frog--not just because it was sweet. But someone clearly took Professor Lupin's lessons last year to heart. Cate may not be suffering from a nearby Dementor, but what she's going through isn't dissimilar. And we all know chocolate works wonders on that! Good to know Fred pays some attention in D.A.D.A!


CC: I noticed this one thing:

and I recognized the dark hand to belong to Lee Jordan.
--This seems like a mashup that should either be "I knew the dark hand to belong to Lee Jordan" or "I recognized the dark hand as belonging to Lee Jordan." The current wording struck me as a little unusual. But that's allI I've got in the way of nitpicking.


Another intriguing chapter! I remain super curious about what is going on, and I'm eager to see more interactions with Catherine and the girls, Catherine and the ghost, Catherine and Rob/Tommy, and of course Catherine and Fred! Well done :D I also see that Whispers in the Dark has several new chapters for me to devour as soon as I get the chance. I've got to go write some words for CampNano, but I'm looking forward to those chapters immensely. Can't wait!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi Penny! I'm so happy to see you back here :)

Yeah, I figured the girls would be the perfect outlet to support Cate. I also kind of keep forgetting that they're friends (whoops), but this seemed like the best way to re-introduce them. And you're spot-on about your observations; she's really very guarded and not used to talking about her problems, so naturally she wouldn't spill everything right away but enough to give them an idea of what's going on. Something I've learned from previous drafts :D I also thought it was important to balance the scene, so I'm glad you liked it! I'm super excited about the TriWizard Tournament too. It's forcing me to push through time because nothing happens until November, really - at least Tournament-wise, and that's definitely good!

You're partially correct about your observations on Tommy, but more will be revealed about him soon XD I actually changed the person who had originally been there to comfort Cate to Tommy because it just felt more appropriate for it to be a sibling moment.

I love that line (and Fred) so much too ♥. I think Fred pays closer attention to things than a lot of people give him credit for; and besides, who could pass up some free chocolate?! I know I couldn't!

Thank you for the CC! Now that I read that line again it is a bit awkward. ^^

Thank you! Whispers actually only has one new chapter posted at the moment, but it is my camp nano novel, so hopefully there will be more on the way!

Thank you for another amazing review :D

♥ Jill


 Report Review

Review #25, by marauderfan Shadows

20th June 2016:
Heya Jill! I'm here for the review you requested on HPFT!

I love your writing of the Weasley twins :D They're wonderfully in character and I love seeing them pop up in the story. Same with Angelina and Alicia - it kind of helps ground the story into the Hogwarts era setting. I also like the way all the interactions with the Weasley twins juxtaposed right next to Cate and her twin brother interacting, really emphasizes the difference between the two sets of twins. Fred and George of course are inseparable, and especially compared to that, Cate and Tommy are so opposite. She sort of just hides from him.

Cliff-type rocks -- What exactly is that? Jagged rocks? Weathered granite? Tall slabs of rock? there are lots of types of cliffs :P

Okay, so I thought that italic bit was a flashback at first. Then it got really alarming. So it's a nightmare, and I'm interpreting it in the metaphorical way, as in blood on her hands = she blames herself. But Chris's death still has something to do with water, I suppose. I don't know. Definitely still mysterious.

Although it is obvious by the end of that section that it is a dream, it doesn't really read like one to me. At least, I've never had a dream that was that coherent. I think mostly this is due to the referencing swimming in the quarry on past occasions, as well as the very crisp dialogue and actions of the characters. Normally that's a very good thing, because it paints such a clear picture, but since it feels so much like an event that's really happening (until the blood), in which everything makes sense and nothing is off, it doesn't feel much like a dream. Think about your most vivid, detailed dream and then read the dream section to yourself, to get and idea of what I mean. Of course, maybe you intended it that way because Cate's dreams seem very real to her, in which case I just said a lot of irrelevant stuff :P Basically, have a look at the section and you can decide for yourself from there! :)

Anyway, you asked about the suspense, and I think you are still doing a really good job of that. More details have come out in this chapter, but we still don't have the whole picture, for example what exactly happened to Chris, how (and if?) it relates to the triwizard tournament, and why Cate blames herself. And that's good - you're not dragging it out tediously by giving no hints, but there's still plenty of mystery to keep readers interested.

As for the ghost at the end, I doubt he's a real ghost, but Cate certainly is very haunted by Chris. She keeps pushing everyone away who is close to her, but she needs help :( At least she doesn't completely isolate herself - I'm glad she's at least studying with Lee.

This was a great chapter and I was so glad to come back to read something of yours again! Wonderful writing. :)

Author's Response: Hi, Kristin!!

I am so glad you're enjoying my take on the canon characters. I struggle so much writing the Weasley twins because humor tends to escape me when writing, and I'm glad that they seem in character! And you're right, Cate and Tommy are totally different from Fred and George, which was kind of on purpose. I'm not sure if she necessarily *hides* from him, but they ARE opposites with their share of issues.

Okay, so, the dream/flashback. Spoiler? Ish? It's SUPPOSED to be very vivid and very real, I wrote it like that on purpose. I do see what you mean, though, and perhaps I'll be exploring that in future chapters, but for now, this is exactly as it should be. It's half that it's very real to her and half that it's supposed to be more of a flashback-dream. I hope that makes sense!

I'm glad the suspense is still there. I've been struggling with how much I should reveal and when I should reveal it, so I'm glad that the details seem to be presenting themselves and that there's still enough to keep everyone interested at this point.

But *is* he a real ghost? We'll have to wait and see ;)

Thank you so much for the wonderful review!

♥Jill


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>