Reading Reviews for When I Go Out With You
  
88 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderfan Look of Love

27th October 2016:
SAAAM

I was so excited to see a new chapter on this! SO FLUFFY. SO CUTE. I really love what this chapter reveals about their relationship. While Neville is uninterested in a relationship with anyone else, he still respects Hannah's other relationship. And on Hannah's part, she wants Neville to see this happy world she's experiencing - something she can maybe share with Neville - but she understands that that isn't what he wants and doesn't try to push him into anything. In other words, they just show so much mutual respect even though they don't agree, they're good at communicating - it's such a healthy relationship. I love these two.

Loved this chapter!

Author's Response: YAY HI THANKS FOR COMING I LOVE YOU

I mean... *ahem* normal review response voice.

I LOVE YOU THANKS FOR COMING!!!

hehe, anyway, yes. It's really good to see Hannah building more healthy relationships. It's a fun challenge for me to show-not-tell so much about different relationships in such short chapters, so it's great to hear that you found the content revealing and interesting.

Mostly, it's really good to be writing this story again, and after all the time I spent away, I'm super glad you're still coming back for ore =) Hopefully more coming soon!

Sam.


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Review #2, by victoria_anne Lilacs and Violets

25th October 2016:
HPFT Team Vampire (of which you are one, muahaha) Review

SooOOOoo I went to read just the one, maybe two, chapters, but BLOODY HELL THIS ISN'T CALLED ADDICTING FOR NOTHING.

I... I just... Hannah was so happy and everything was warm and wonderful and it made my heart be all fluffy and I couldn't stop reading! MORE!

Dang, could totally go for some popcorn right now. This story makes me hungry.


*squee* all over Neville. I love my little nervous talkative Hannah.

So now I get to bug you for more updates, which was always the plan, but now it's actually happening because I NEED more and I NEED to know how this ends and I NEED you to know that this story is as amazing as you.



Author's Response: AWW YAY

I AM (wait, turn off caps lock) so glad you came back for more of this story.I kind of expected somebody to, because people love them some sort chapters for review evens =P

I love rambly nerves Hannah too. Those parts may or may not be partially based on me. But then again, the same goes for the whole story =P

I really plan to write more super soon! like, possibly TODAY soon. Bugging me on twitter for updates over the next couple of days might not be unproductive.

SUPERBIANCAHUGS



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Review #3, by MuggleMaybe I Won't Love You Anymore (Sorry)

23rd May 2016:
♥ ♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE! ♥ ♥

I had been really wanting to continue with this story anyway because it's fab, so your birthday was exactly the excuse I needed to stop by.

I wanted to leave you a crazy long, gushy, fangirling review - but I'm too distracted by THIS LINE:
"What was so wrong with letting Ernie set the rules if it meant I would be happy?"

Something about that just punches me in the gut. You don't take the easy way out, and I really admire that. It's so sad that Hannah feels guilty for not preventing this situation, not taking a stronger stance. I think she greatly underestimates herself, and so maybe she could have taken stronger positions on the "rules," as she puts it. But that wouldn't have changed anything - she's blaming herself for Ernie's faults and it fills me with righteous indignation. DOWN WITH ERNIE.

Yet, at the same time, I agree with her - she's only human and she was happy with Ernie and she shouldn't be blamed for doing what made her happy at the time. You've spotlighted a very real dilemma for a lot of women: the idea that women cannot be independent and also experience love. Which is obviously FALSE in every way, and I'm so lad you're addressing it. No one could do it better! ♥

Also, what Ernie said about her changing clothes: GET LOST ERNIE YOU JERK. I mean, seriously. DOWN WITH ERNIE.

I really want to read more and get to a place where Hannah is happy - and perhaps Erie gets his just desserts :P However I've got TV to watch, so that's all for now. ;)

Love ya!
xoRenee

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Review #4, by victoria_anne Don't Call Me, I'll Call You

3rd May 2016:
Did you think I forgot about this story?!

Because I did.

ONLY KIDDING. I'm just a wee bit late.

Okay so we're seeing a bit more of how Susan lives and especially her relationships, and I love how different that is for Hannah, though I imagine it's going to be really tough for her at first, given what she's used to in her own life.

Are you going to educate me on this? I certainly hope so. I may have to do my homework on these relationships like you said once.

I hope you've missed receiving reviews from me as much as I've missed leaving them for you! (Which is a lot, btw)

♥ ♥ ♥

Author's Response: It's awesome to see you back here, lovely!

This story is definitely written for an audience who doesn't know anything about polyamory, which is whiy I ended up structuring it around Hannah's journey and learning curve. It's a fine line though, and I didn't want to lay it on too thick in a way that came across as pontificating, and wanted to keep the focus on Hannah's story.

If you ever have questions or want to discuss anything, I'd be thrilled to chat about it with you.



Sam.


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Review #5, by teh tarik You Didn't Look 'Round

30th March 2016:
...whaaa...

I DO NOT HAVE THE WORDS!!??

After Norma, Ernie can go snog a Dementor.

So all the lovingness and all the adorable affection between Ernie and Hannah was all a lie?!?! Ugh, poor Hannah! :( :( First, Ernie completely dismisses her and her desire to have a conversation about polyamory. Then the whole cheating thing. Ugh.

Still, I love the way you hint at the difference between the portrayal of polyamory as an honest, open choice between individuals, and the portrayal of that more conventional monogamous relationship, which does not have such a sturdy foundation as people would think.

Well, it's Hannah/Susan for me now. All the way! ♥

Great (but very sad) twist! Can't wait to find out how Hannah will deal with this.

-teh

Author's Response: OMG THAT REACTION IS PERFECT

I don't want to say that that Ernie and Hannah's affection was necessarily a lie. But as you say, it was not on a sturdy foundation. It was definitely conditional, I think. There is a very subtle power structure in their relationship where things or on Ernie's terms, and he has reinforced that with years of subtle emotional manipulation, which includes a lot of surface affection which Hannah has bought into. Hannah has been happy, but she has done so by focusing on what's on the surface of their relationship and her emotions, without looking too much deeper.

Also, part of the advantage of having such short chapters is that I do get to manipulate you guys a bit too. The scene in Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows was very real, but it was also very short, and just a snippet of their relationship (and a couple of readers have mentioned red flags they saw in that chapter).

Anyway, I'm glad you're so engaged by this story! ♥

Sam.


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Review #6, by teh tarik It's A Happening World

30th March 2016:
Hey again, Sam!

I'm back for the next chapter. And this!! Gah, this made my heart melt in so many ways. ♥ This Susan & Hannah bonding scene is too perfect for words! Susan is just such an amazing character, and she complements Hannah so nicely! I love Susan's quiet confidence, and how comfortable she is with her life and her choices. There's something so serene about her, her self-acceptance.

And your dialogue is amazing. I love your choice of lines! Your dialogue is just so smooth; everything flows perfectly, sounds so sensible and nothing is forced at all.

And that last line Susan says is kind of the perfect way to tie up this gorgeous chapter?

I really love how unique your story is, and your exploration of polyamory. I'm really intrigued to see how things will play out, and definitely adding this to my fav's list! ♥

-teh

Author's Response: I'm glad to see you back here, Teh!

And your feedback on this chapter is really good to hear. Sometimes to me this chapter feels a little filler-like, in that less happens in it than others. But like you said, it is important in building Hannah and Susan's relationship and introducing the idea of polyamory. And I'm glad I can do those things in such a gorgeous flowing way, as you say.

Thanks for the fave!

Sam.


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Review #7, by marauderfan Lilacs and Violets

27th March 2016:
Hi Sam! I read this story in one go as I was reading up for Keckers noms (FYI, nominated this one in the romance category!) but didn't take the time to review because I was POWER-READING. But now I have a bit of time so I wanted to drop by and let you know how much I love this fic!

This is really original because I don't think I've seen any other stories featuring polyamory on the archives and so I loved this perspective, and it's just such a wonderful story about learning who you are. I love your portrayal of Hannah in this and her resilience. And her relationship with Susan is ♥. I just love how each of them actively works to help the other person be the best they can be.

I had a great conversation with a friend once about what friendship is and she said that each friendship is very individual, and you show different sides of yourself to each friend depending on the nature of that friendship. And with this fic, I can really see that idea coming through (only in the sense of romance rather than friendship) - Susan has something special with each of her partners and it's different with each of them, which contributes to a richer whole, in a way. I love how you showed that it gives Susan (and Hannah, when she first explores polyamory) a greater sense of self and individualism because she shows these different sides of herself to people. I don't know if I'm even making sense anymore or just rambling, but essentially I like the way you show the nature of relationships in this fic.

Anyway, I know I will be back for more of this when there's a new chapter up! Loved reading this so far - great work Sam :)

Author's Response: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Kristin, you are amazing.

I saw this review when I got on last night and was very excited it was for WIGOWY, but didn't get time to slow down and read it until after you had gone to bed, and am kind of aghast that I wasn't smothering you with extra love last night.

And wow. I don't mind that you didn't review ever chapter. Reading this all in one sitting is so amazing of you (though of course I wrote it to be incredibly addicting).

Thank you so much for the Kecker nom to come - it means a lot!

And I really, really relate to your comments about friendship here. This story isn't quite autobiographical, but it's a lot of me putting my feelings about things into characters' mouths. I believe every human relationship is so unique, and that it is truly destructive to try to force them into boxes made up of other peoples' expectations. So yes, you make perfect sense and I am really glad that that side of this story came through so clearly for you!

Sadly, I recently lost all of my work on future chapters, which is a bit of a disheartening setback. I'll be letting myself breathe to recover from that for a while, but I'm sure I'll be back with a smattering of new chapters within a few months.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Sam.


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Review #8, by victoria_anne I Won't Love You Anymore (Sorry)

27th March 2016:
*embarrassed cough* I'm slightly late to this.

Aw poor Hannah! How hard this is for her!

UGH Ernie you - you - why you little - GAH

(There's the angry rant you expected before)

I'm so glad she left, I was ready to shake her and go "Whyyy are youuu sleeping?" Wait - wrong story.

I was going to shake her and tell her to snap out of it! But change is hard, I understand that, especially after she's been with Ernie for so long and that's all the life she knows. Onwards and upwards, Hannah! Excelsior!

Author's Response: Oh yay - hello again! Always nice to see you here, madame.

Yeah, I think this is definitely a difficult moment for Hannah. Change is hard, and she has never really been without him since before she left Hogwarts. But I think the fact that she questions her decision, despite how bad for her it would have been to stay with Ernie, shows her compassionate ability to see both sides of every situation. And she has the is able to stand on her own and walk away, which is a pretty big deal.

(still less violent than others have been) But that's okay, you have such world class sass that you don't need to resort to force.

Uh... Can't say I get that sleeping reference.

Thanks for stopping by, you wonderful woman.

Sam.


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Review #9, by teh tarik Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

25th March 2016:
Hello again, Sam!

Ooh, so Hannah and Ernie are living together, and it sounds like they've been together for quite some time. I love how you've written their relationship in this second chapter! They're so loving and affectionate and completely comfortable with each other, and Ernie is a little goofy as well.

Hannah and Ernie's relationship is so completely different from how you wrote Susan and Hannah, though of course, Hannah has just met Susan after a long time. I'm interested to see how everything will turn out between these three characters (as well as any other characters I have yet to read about). And it does sound like perhaps there'll be a little tension between Ernie and Susan? It's interesting the way he reacts when Hannah tells him about meeting her friend.

Once again, another lovely chapter! I look forward to reading more. :)

-teh

Author's Response: Oh wow, thanks for coming back for another chapter so quickly!

It was definitely really fun to write the contrasts between different characters and relationships, especially in these early chapters when everything is new to the reader. They are very different people, very different energies between them, and at very different points in the relationship. It was definitely interesting to try to see how I could create that contrast with very few words. I am glad you are interested in it so far as well!

Sam.


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Review #10, by teh tarik Fools Rush In

25th March 2016:
Hi Sam!

I'm here for the Review Exchange! :)

I love femmeslash & rare pairs, so this chapter was right up my alley. This is such a great start to your story! I love Hannah and Susan already, and I can't wait to see how their relationship will develop. I love that moment of attraction, when they feel like the only people in the whole street. It's instant attraction, but because Susan and Hannah were friends for so long, even fighting alongside each other, there's also so much history between them surfacing in that moment. It's no wonder that Hannah feels a little overwhelmed.

I'm so glad Susan makes the next move and pulls her into the Leaky Cauldron. So Hannah has yet to become the owner of the pub! It will be interesting to see how she takes over the Leaky Cauldron, if you're going to explore it in your fic.

I love your style of writing; you write so delicately, and some of the phrases you use are just so gorgeous!

The words fall from our lips like petals from flowers that have gone untouched for too long.


^ This line kind of made me breathless and a little giddy, and I can SO imagine how Hannah was feeling!

I'm loving your story so far, Sam! I shall certainly come back and read more. ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Hey!

I am glad that you love femmeslash and rare pairs as much as I do!

I'm really glad that you are already so compelled by this story and the characters.

This story will focus pretty closely on Hannah's personal life in her early-mid 20s, so you won't so I won't get into her ownership of the LC much

Nobody has ever used the word delicate to describe my writing before! Actually, I'm not sure I've ever associated that word with writing, and it's really interesting and I love that you used it.

I am really looking forward to reading your story, though I am probably going to wait until the Quidditch match is done so I can focus on a more thought out review =)

Thanks again!

Sam.


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Review #11, by victoria_anne I'm Coolin', No Foolin'

25th March 2016:
I have housework to do I whisper to myself as I click 'next chapter'...

Ha ha I love those magazine names!

Arsehole or polyamorous, hmm... The constant struggle to decide. I love her reaction to finding out, though. It's real, the way she blames herself.

BUT IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT HANNAH *shares hot chocolate* Oh shoot, I already drank it all. Oh well.

But look how well Susan balances Hannah. She calms and softens her, almost. I don't know, do I sound philosophical yet? Should I throw more big words I don't understand around?

Fare thee well (until the next chapter. Curses) xxx

Author's Response: While there is such thing as a polyamorous (not sure if that word is 12+), I'd say it's a pretty clear call with Ernie.

I love that you want to give Hannah hot chocolate and that you already drank it all XD

I think the biggest word in that sentence is philosophical. If I were to try to figure out what other word you don't understand in that sentence I'd go with. calm?

Many hugs to you!

Sam.


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Review #12, by victoria_anne You Didn't Look 'Round

25th March 2016:
Oooh look at this saucy adult version of Hannah! I actually don't think I've read many before. Me likey.

This chapter not so fluffy or pinkish-purple :( It's more like one of those mace balls with all the spikes and grey colour. I'm ashamed for liking Ernie *hides*

Well I guess that settles it for Hannah and Susan then! CHEERING WOO!

Hufflepuff girl power pride, yo

Author's Response: I'm actually a little disappointing in your civil tone in this review. Normally reviews for this chapter include lots of angry all caps and threats of violence towards Ernie.

Now if you had aimed the mace ball with spikes AT Ernie, that could be a different story...

I'm totally kidding, I'm glad you like this! As much as I enjoy destroying peoples' feelings with my writing, I think I've done that enough to you this month.

Yay Hufflepuff gals!

Sam.


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Review #13, by victoria_anne It's A Happening World

25th March 2016:
You. You monster and your tiny round balls of fluffy pink-ish purple chapters.

Okay okay so now I love Susan! I'm emotionally confused! Everything she says is beautiful (see what I did there?) and I love her outlook on life! But now poor Hannah is all confused! WHO WILL SHE CHOOSE!

Just kidding, I have a hunch.

I love the easy nature of their relationship, despite Hannah's confusion. Susan will prevail! Excelsior!

Author's Response: OMG YOUR WORDS ARE FABULOUS

I really can't get past that first line. Like really. I am just staring at it in awed appreciation.

I am glad you love Susan as much as I do!

Now, to the next chapter... *rubs hands*

Sam.


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Review #14, by victoria_anne Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

25th March 2016:
I didn't have any peppermint cocoa, so I went for a regular hot chocolate instead. Ahh...delicious.

Ooh okay so Hannah's with Ernie, interesting. And he's so cute! I'd have him over for leftover mutton and canned peaches anyday!! Aw their whole relationship is so sweet! I'm actually a bit worried, I really like this Ernie :( I hope I get to see more of him later anyway!

So much Hufflepuff. Me likes.

Author's Response: You really made hot chocolate? That is awesome!

I'm not sure I would have Ernie over for leftover mutton and canned peaches. But I fine mutton really unappetizing.

RIGHT? Yay Hufflepuff characters!

*sits back and eagerly watches your reactions*

Sam.


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Review #15, by victoria_anne Fools Rush In

25th March 2016:
So I've mastered dancing under the moonlight in a sheet, now can you teach me the way of the short chapter? YOU ARE DA MASTERRR!

And curses I've been sucked in! It's just so easy to click 'next chapter' with a "Whoops, my finger slipped!" Dammit Sam I have things to do!!!

Straight away I can feel the tension in Hannah, and how in tune she feels with Susan's body. Well of course I'm going to read on!

How good does peppermint cocoa sound?!

Love Bianca x *chants*

Author's Response: =D =D =D

That sheet dancing things sounds really fun! I have to give that a try.

Hehehe, I know that this story is kind of addicting and I'm kind of sly about it, like "Hey, unsuspecting bystander, check out this story - the first chapter's just like 500 words" and don't mention "BUT YOU'LL BE SO SUCKED IN YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO STOP." They play right into my hands.

You will have intense feelings at points in this story, but I promise they'll be mostly happy!

Peppermint cocoa sounds so good. Susan Bones sounds so good. So good.

The chanting definitely helps. After all, they are both Hufflepuffs!

Sam.


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Review #16, by BellaLestrange87 Fools Rush In

14th March 2016:
Hi there! I'm here for your first of five reviews from my Review-a-Thon pledge! I've been meaning to read this story for a while now so I'm taking this opportunity to nudge my procrastinating self into action and actually do it :p

This was really cute! I love the unspoken chemistry between them, without even needing to say anything.

This line here is perfect - There is a light in her eyes that keeps me searching it is buried deep inside, beyond twists and turns, but it is there and it is glowing for me.

I'm really impressed by how you managed to fit 22 years of history (well, 17, I guess, if they haven't seen each other since Hogwarts) into a 500-word chapter so seamlessly. It feels very natural and perfect.

I really loved this and I'll be back soon to review the next chapter!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hello Olivia!

Thanks so much for awarding reviews for the Review-A-Thon, and for stopping by now!

I am very flattered that you've been wanting to read this story, and I'm glad you've gotten around to it.

I am glad you like that line! I wasn't sure if it was maybe a bit too convoluted to capture what I was trying to say, so I'm glad you think it work so well!

I'm glad you enjoyed this, and I look forward to hearing what you think of future chapters. Thanks again!

Sam.


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Review #17, by SunshineDaisies You Didn't Look 'Round

11th March 2016:
I kind of want to punch Ernie in the face. What an unlikable human. Is he even human? I think that's up for debate. How could someone cheat on Hannah? She's so cute! She's all doe-eyed and romantic and her heart is so, so big and she is WONDERFUL and Ernie is TERRIBLE and I'm wondering what on earth she saw in him in the first place.

Ugh you are making me angst!

But lovely chapter as ever ♥

Author's Response: Oh wow, what a wonderful surprise review to receive!

I knew you had read this, I think from back in Dobby nomination season, but unless I'm wrong this is the first review you've left on it! And how very fitting that you have joined the many people threatening violence against Ernie in the reviews for this chapter XD

It probably says something about me that this is my favorite chapter to receive reviews on!

Much love to you, Katie!

Sam.


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Review #18, by MuggleMaybe I'm Coolin', No Foolin'

5th March 2016:
Back with your 4th (and final) prize review for the HPFF Review-A-Thon.

Can I just take a moment to say that the song lyrics fit each chapter, like, /ludicrously/ well? It's amazing!

*reads first line* Hmm, yes. I can see that Hannah and I are of the same mind on this topic. Jerkface.

Susan is quite an interesting character. I loved how she was so calm while Hannah was raging. It was such an interesting contrast.

Poor Hannah - it's the worst when what you think and what you feel don't match up. Very upsetting. (Hugs for Hannah!)

When she tries to blame herself I was so sad for her. It's very, very believable that she would have that reaction, though.

I'm glad she has Susan - Susan better not hurt her, though! It's interesting, the way they talk. Sometimes it's like any two best friends, and then other times it's something more.

This is a wonderful story, Sam! I'm so, so glad I've had the chance to start reading it. I definitely plan to continue, even though your prize reviews are done now.

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm glad you said that about the lyrics. Once I got the rough idea for this story (a prompt from Kapa essentially asking for a polyamorous Hannah story) I knew that I wanted to use Lesley Gore's music. I listened to as much as I could find, and essentially came up with ideas that could fit with each song, and selected a bunch and put them in order. So really, the music came before the plot did, which is a really interesting way to play with this story. There is a definite added layer if you listen to the songs with each chapter, as I did my best to match the tone of the chapter with the song. Not to mention, I got inspiration for much more of the lyrics than I could pick four lines for.

I'm really glad you like this story so much! I totally understand if you want to spread the love to other authors for the Review-A-Thon, but I look forward on hearing your thoughts on future chapters. Also, thanks for hosting the great challenge!

Sam.


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Review #19, by MuggleMaybe You Didn't Look 'Round

5th March 2016:
WHAT?!?!?!?

Oh, sorry. I'm here for the HPFF Review-A-Thon with prize review #3.
(yes, I skipped reviewing chapter 2. I'm so so sorry, but I just had to read on right away. I HAD to. It's not my fault this story is so entrancing!)

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah...

WHAT?!?!?

How could Ernie do that to Hannah?!? I don't like him anymore, by the way. Hannah is actually *in love* with another person, but she hasn't cheated. What a total hypocrite!

Also, his dismissal of polyamory is no good at all! Obviously. (I was guessing that was the idea here, by the way, but I'm glad you laid it out for me because I'm not super knowledgeable about these things, so that was helpful.)

You made the blow absolutely brutal here, because the beginning of this chapter is so innocent and fluffy, except for the polyamory discussion. But Ernie's response would /seem/ to suggest his own fidelity, so that also upped the impact.

NOT that she should have to choose, but I think I like her better with Susan. *throws tomatoes at Ernie*

absolutely wonderful, again.
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Haha, I totally understand the need to rush on with such short chapters. I was just concerned at first that you hadn't read chapter three and had skipped the cute feelings chapter before jumping to the feelings that you have outlined in your review ;)

I get a cruel satisfaction out of reading peoples' reactions to the emotional roller coaster that is these first several chapters, and you do not disappoint!

This story was written with the assumption that most readers won't have much background knowledge of polyamory, so it is kind of introduced slowly as Hannah learns about it. I am glad that pacing works for you.

It is perfectly reasonable for somebody to be with more than one person but still not have to be with the jerkface.

Fun fact: Most people comment about wanting to punch Ernie. To my knowledge you are the first who has thrown tomatoes.

Sam.


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Review #20, by cherry_pop94 Fools Rush In

5th March 2016:
Hello! Here for the HPFF Review-A-Thon!

I love this! The lyrics fit so well with this story too. The opening line is perfect. My heart melted a little bit. I could just imagine the shock, the surprise, the breathy way they say each other's names. And then the sound of those words, the taste of Susan's name on Hannah's tongue. It must be wonderful. Oh to be young and in love.

It's incredible how much you've fit into this very short opening chapter. I feel so much history between these two women, such a long path together. They've seen war together, they've grown up together, and it's abundantly clear that they care for each other a lot.

I do wonder why they haven't seen each other in five years. They just slipped back into what seems to me like routine so quickly. There's no animosity in their meeting, just love. They have such fond memories of each other too. Hannah is clearly smitten. So I do wonder what drove them apart for so long. Surely not just the tendency to lose touch with friends after school has finished.

I can't wait to read more of this!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hey Stefanie, thanks so much for stopping by! (and so quickly too!)

That's my secret plan with this story: melt people's hearts so they are malleable and I can do whatever I want with them. =D

I also really like your comments on the lyrics. The music plays a huge part in this story, both in setting the plot and the tone for each chapter.

Sam.


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Review #21, by MuggleMaybe Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

5th March 2016:
Here for the HPFF Review-A-Thon with prize review #2

Yeah, you go Hannah! I already love her, Sam. :D

The relationship between her and Ernie is really sweet. I have to confess that it feels sort of, I don't know, simple? Not in a general sense, but in contrast with the depth of affection you created between Hannah and Susan. That could be deliberate on your part, in which case I think it's expertly done. And she does seem to really like him and be excited about seeing him. The playful banter between them was quirky and cute and also believable.

And then there's this exchange, where you tell us so much more than meets the eye:
Id like to see her again. I speak timidly, a hint of a question in my voice.
Well, sure. He turns to take out plates for dinner. Its not like you have to ask permission to see your friends.

Her nervous desire to see Susan, his failure to realize the depth of that desire (although I love him for his response)... it's setting the stage for something.

Ernie is different from how I remember him from cannon, but that's fine. We hardly know him at all from cannon. He seems light-hearted and I like that... Hannah seems to like it too. ;)

I am SO SO INTERESTED to see where this is heading.
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: There is very definitely a contrast here between her relationship with Susan.

On one front, she is just developing feelings for Susan, so the energy is very different than it is with Ernie, who she has been with for years. Also, he personalities of Ernie and Susan are very different, which is a definite factor. Also, on a writing level, I took the tone for this chapter from the title song, which has a VERY different energy than the first chapter's song.

I am really glad you like Hannah so much! There is a bit of neutrality about her, but I'm glad that can be done in a way that makes readers still like and relate to her.

People have very different reactions to this chapter, and I LOVE reading them all. Yours is certainly no exception.

Sam.


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Review #22, by MuggleMaybe Fools Rush In

5th March 2016:
Hello Sam! I'm here for the HPFF Review-A-Thon with the first of your 4 prize reviews.

You know what this chapter is like? It's like a single piece of good chocolate. Sweet - but not too sweet. Nuanced enough to be worth savoring. And, far too fleeting.

In other words, I liked it :P

I haven't read very much femslash, really, but I've enjoyed all of what I have read, so I'm really excited to read some more now! *Especially* if every chapter is as brilliant as this one.

I mean, your WORDS, Sam!
"The words fall from our lips like petals from flowers that have gone untouched for too long."
Just. Beautiful.

You know that writerly saying "show don't tell"? I think this is a perfect example of mastering that adage. You never tell us their backstory, but you don't need to, or at least not yet. The touches and tremors and magnetism between them, show us exactly what they mean to each other without you having to tell us a thing.

I am seriously so impressed. 10/10, easily.

xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Yay!

Thank you so much. First off, I am super flattered that you said you hoped this is the story I wanted you to read.

Chocolate! That's a wonderful metaphor for it. Though to me this chapter has a very fluid texture. Maybe it's more like hot fudge... Now I'm hungry.

Welcome to my AP, where femslash is everything =D

Thank you for YOUR words

I have always struggled with description, not being a very visual person, and tend to prioritize focusing on character's emotions. In this past year I've been trying to focus on marrying the two, and I think this chapter is a successful product of that.

Thank you again, I'm really excited to see your future reactions. Also, the first four chapters... Well, you'll see.

Sam.


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Review #23, by princesslily_36 Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

5th March 2016:
Hello again!

FOR THE HPFF REVIEW-A-THON

Ernie Macmillan? That's who she's with? Darn, I was shipping Hannah/Susan after the wonderful feel of the previous chapter.

Ahh dear Ernie, just as pompous as ever. You know as I read his speech about the meal, the image of a romantic Percy Weasley popped into my head LOL!

We can see the tinge of guilt in Hannah when she confesses to meeting Susan... and that turning into a special kind of joy that one realizes when they like someone - the need to talk about them A LOT. Been there!

I'm still curious as to why they hadn't seen each other since graduation... And, her feelings here clearly show that she isn't resisting Ernie's love, and she does indeed seem to be reciprocating it, while definitely having some strong feelings for Susan.

I still love your style of writing, and how your words just flow into one another.

I'm interested to know how this will pan out :D

Ysh

Author's Response: Yes.

And yes.

And yes.

That's all.

Okay, you've got me, I also love Percy Weasley, and may have been playing off that precious pompousness a little bit here.

I don't want to give too much away, so I'm going to just sit back and rub my fingers together as I wait to see what you say.

Sam.


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Review #24, by princesslily_36 Fools Rush In

5th March 2016:
Hello!

Ysh here from the forums FOR THE HPFF REVIEW-A-THON

This doesn't feel like 500 words at all! You have managed to convey SO MUCH in them. I loved how it opened with the stanza 'Fools rush in...' because the rest of the chapter felt like a poem as well.

I like how Hannah's thoughts in the first paragraph flow from the bigger things they did together to the smaller details about Susan. I like how you built up the sensuality between the two of them... there was something so subtle yet aching about the build up that Hannah felt.

You have set the scene without actively setting it. Without explicitly stating it, you have said exactly where this takes place without taking away focus from Hannah's feelings and emotions.

Some lines I loved are:

her lips parted just wide enough for a shadow of breath to steadily seep through - It took me a second to realize that you were just talking about breathing. I mean, wow. Just, wow.

The words fall from our lips like petals from flowers that have gone untouched for too long. - What a wonderful way to say how much they mean to each other, or how beautiful their names sounded to each other while drawing attention to the fact that they hadn't met in a while.

I could go on finding lines like this. Amazing chapter! Off to the next one now!!

Ysh

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you for your kind words, and your fearless crusading for reviews!

The lyrics from each chapter of this story are all from Lesley Gore, who was a fabulous pop singer in the 1960s and a huge inspiration for this story. I greatly based the plot of the story off of the songs, and the tone of the chapters also match the title songs.

I am a sucker for subtle sensuality, yes.

"just talking about breathing" XD haha, thanks

Yay, I'm really glad you like this so far, and I'm really curious about what you'll think about what's to come!

Sam.


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Review #25, by esmeraude You Didn't Look 'Round

2nd March 2016:
NO NO NO NO NO.

I know I've read this already, but that doesn't make my sad feels feel any less sad, or alleviate my current desire to punch Ernie in the face.

Even though Hannah and Ernie's relationship is traditional with Hannah staying at home (doing what?) and Ernie going off to work, I like that you've written them having fun and banter with each other, because that arrangement does work for some people. That said, good relationships are based on good communication and Ernie shutting Hannah down when she brings up the subject of Susan and polyamory is so wrong.

I remember the first time reading this, when I couldn't help feeling like Ernie refusing to even acknowledge that polyamory exists suggested that he had something to hide, and then that was (sadly) proved right. In the last chapter, Susan was talking about her lifestyle being the choice of freedom, and you've shown how Ernie is the complete opposite -- he could have, in theory, had poly relationships with Hannah and Norma, but he took that choice away from Hannah by having the relationship with Norma behind her back, without her knowledge. And he's a douche for that.

You wrote Hannah's pain beautifully, in the ending when she was waiting for Ernie to look at her and make excuses but he didn't. The fact that Hannah hasn't even been to the Ministry for two months clearly suggests that the issues with her and Ernie have been going on for longer than she admits.

We're two thousand words into this story, and yet it feels like we're halfway into a novel because there's so much beautiful emotion, and you've contrasted Hannah and Ernie and Susan beautifully -- Hannah, uneasy about lying to Ernie; Ernie, not caring that he's lying to Hannah; Susan, who has no need to lie.

I'm also loving these alternate chapters of Susan/Ernie (and I'm assuming Neville if we're keeping this canon) because it's keeping a healthy balance between the two most important people in Hannah's (romantic) life.

And onwards to the next chapter!

Author's Response: HAHAHA, it's good to know that repeated reads don't lessen peoples' desire to punch Ernie in the face! It's definitely a theme in the reviews for this chapter XD

Look at your analysis, making me look all smart!

And yes, it sometime really amazes me how few words this story is when it feels like so much happens, and I love it!

(I also love you)


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