Reading Reviews for Areopagitica
  
64 Reviews Found

Review #1, by gryffiegurl213 Republikflucht

28th July 2016:
I absolutely love this chapter! Excellent job! I'm a Slytherin (I was in denial when I made this account) and I love reading about "good" Slytherins!

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Review #2, by Gabriella Hunter Room 101

1st May 2016:
HELLO!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review for our swap! Gah! I tried to get here as quickly as I could and I'm so happy that I made it in one piece. Real life was kicking my butt.

Anyway, this!

My feelings! How could you? I was so worried about all of them! I wasn't sure how to react in the beginning when Tracey let them all go though. What's going through her head? Is she going to try and say that she was overpowered later on to get them beaten up by the Carrows once more?!

I'm so fishy about that whole thing. Man.

I thought that when Seamus and the others got back to the dorm, things would settle down a bit and they'd be able to comfort one another but everything turned so sour! No! The others turned themselves in and now they're being tortured in horrible ways!

On that note, I think that you did a really good job of writing that. There are so many elements to writing this sort of material and I think you did an excellent job. Each fear was different and more personal than the last, which is not easy to do.

Ginny's fear just really set up the other's so well. You knew that something was suspicious from the beginning and then when she picked up that diary...Ugh, I just got the chills. That part of her life isn't really spoken about that much in the HP books and isn't mentioned nearly enough in fanfiction. I'd imagine that she would be really scarred from the experience and I'm sure that having Tom Riddle in your head is a nightmare no one could possibly understand, save for Harry.

Neville's experience took it to a whole new level because I was biting my nails by this point. Each fear and experience showed something very different about the characters and we got to see the true depths of them. I loved that about this section because Neville had his parents taken away from him in such a horrible way and he can't even protect them now that he's stronger. That is some powerful stuff and I just felt so sorry for him.

I want to punch the Carrow's in the face.

Repeatedly.

Luna's moment really tore at me because outwardly, she seems like the sort of person who never even gets sad. What's great about this last part is that you show that she does have deep rooted fears. Her personality might seem off to most people but I believe the trauma of what she went through really shaped who she became. Just great visuals here, wonderful emotion being written and a fantastic ending.

That last line is pure magic! Phew. Update soon because I am freaking out and I need to know what happens next!

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #3, by NPE Trojan Horse

11th April 2016:
Hey,

Here with my review from the swap. Which I forgot about. My bad. Please forgive me :)

So all in all this chapter was well imagined and I think you have a pretty good sense of action timing. It was riveting in places.

The Trojan Horse analogy is a bit obvious, though as a historical relations go, it is to the point here so I can't claim that I think it is poor chapter title.

So, as I have established I liked this, and rate you as an author and forum member, I thought I'd try and go through chronologically what I felt worked and what I felt didn't work.

Obviously it's just opinions.

"A large barn owl swooped into the Great Hall at dinner and circled the room once, twice, thrice. Clio the owl perched on the rafters and peered down at the dining children in confusion unable to find the recipient of her package"

Ok - so introducing it from the owl's perspective is a cool idea. In fact I think you juggle the multi perspective thing well, so well in fact that I think you emphasise the team nature really well. I get a sense of the theme here of a group of brave, talented but extraordinary individuals working together in defiance against evil - you pull it off really well. The least glamorous, unsung aspect of a horrid conflict.

There are some things that jar for me as a reader here however. On a nitpicky note, referring to the owl, and then saying Clio the owl creates an awkward repetition. On a broader note, you need to commit to the owl's p.o.v. The prose isn't detached enough as a perspective from the owl to be an omniscient third person. Your writing here suggests we are seeing it from the owl's perspective. If that is the case - then I need more descriptions and character actions that make me realise we are reading this from the point of view of the owl.

The "large stick and grubby hands" observation, which is how an owl would judge a human being as that is where they have contact with the bird is a good example of what there should be more of in this section.

The weirdest bit is you revert back to omni 3rd with the owl standing up etc. It couldn't observe the feathers falling.

It also lacks the descriptive vigour I am always used to with your great work. For me this bit below is very derivative action writing, it isn't bad but I gloss over this...

"Clio felt an invisible force pull her suddenly away from the children and backwards. Clio let out a loud screech, attracting the attention of all the children in the Great Hall. They watched as the great barn owl fought back against the invisible hand that grabbed her, but to no avail."

I have heard so many books use descriptors like feel like "to no avail" "invisible force" etc. Furthermore, would an owl know it lost all those feathers?

This review is by no means a flame. I really liked the story, just saying this bit was a bit awkward. I really enjoyed this observation:

The woman shoved Clio off the table and she had no choice but to fly away again, out of the Great Hall and away from the once happy children in yellow and black.

The fact that we observe the change in the childrens' faces, they were 'once happy'. Also the whole conceit of what Carrow did here to the owl really established her wickedness and I really liked the way it set the scene.

Another bit of smart dialogue was the fat lady, even in this situation, demanding standards and her traditions are maintained. Plus she is always a petty person in the books, I like how the paintings have those personalities and yoy portrayed it well. So kudos for this - and the segment surrounding it - I like the idea of the houses and their strict boundaries breaking apart

“My dear boy!” the Fat Lady cried waving her hand at Ernie to stop. “Must you yell?”

I kind of am in in two minds over the introduction to Gryffindor House. I would have loved some monologue or some description, but your story is so slick I am happy it keeps its actions beats and its a fair trade in my view.

"
Susan suddenly remembered the spells she’d spent her summer practicing with her father. Ever since her Aunt Amelia’s murder, the Bones family had been on edge. Her father had ensured that his only daughter knew as much defensive magic as possible, but still, Susan went to bed every night plagued with fears and nightmares. If someone like Amelia Bones, head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement couldn’t survive, what hope did she have?"

I think you could have expanded on this and attached a greater microscope to her fears and insecurities. Though I like that you sowed the seed in my mind. Your ability to make me interested in characters that get less attention from JKR due to the Harry-centric nature of the tale is marvellous. So well played there.

Ok, then we get to the Padma/Parvati scene. The construct set before us was so strong it worked and I felt emotion. I think here you could have gone into more detail, or more dialogue between the characters or given me more inclusion in the suffering. That sounded sadistic, but what I meant was I needed to understand Padma's fragility and have the horror of what the carrows were doing emphasised. I think you described Parvati's emotions better, but I did think the "Parvati felt it again, her heart ripping out of her chest," was cliched. There is more ways of showing this emotion than heart references in my view. It doesn't tell us anything specific about Parvati.

But it does enough, and I like how the multi perspectives keep me on my toes and see everything as part of a greater whole.

Next up - THE ACTION SCENE

“Thank you Professor Carrow,” Tracey smirked at Seamus as she composed herself again. “Looks like you won’t be going after all, Finnegan.”

This was brilliant. The whole trade off. The dialogue of Finnegan, Dobby, Tracey and the trick with the carrows.

I think it was nigh on flawless and explained the reality of how they ended up in Room of Requirement really well.

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Review #4, by TreacleTart Room 101

11th April 2016:
Hey Stefanie!

I'm so excited that you've already posted the next chapter! After the last one left me on the edge of my seat, I truly just had to know what would happen next.

This chapter is by far the darkest one yet. I almost feel weird saying that I really liked it because it's about some of my favorite characters being tortured, but I think the inspiration/concept for it was genius. Psychological torture is often times far more effective than physical torture. You demonstrated that very clearly here.

I think that in my opinion Neville's particular torture is the worst because it's been something that has haunted him since he was a baby. At least Luna and Ginny have some happy memories to hold onto in the darkness, but Neville never had any positive memories with his parents. And something about the imagery of four death eaters hitting his mother with a cruciatus curse was just heart breaking. And then imaging his father scrambling around, all tied up trying to save her. It's just agonizing. It truly made me feel uncomfortable, which is what a scene like this should do.

Part of me is really mad at Parvati for making Luna, Ginny, and Neville turn themselves in because this is the result. But on the other hand, I understand that she was trying to save her friends. Even if she hadn't gone after them, I bet they would've turned themselves in anyway after hearing Seamus scream. That's just the kind of people they are.

I can't imagine that Seamus, Lavender, Ernie, and everyone else will just sit around while the three of them suffer. I firmly believe that once they are healed up a bit, they'll go and start a rescue mission.

I do have a tiny bit of CC for this particular chapter. Normally, I notice that your writing is really polished and clean, but in this particular chapter, I noticed a few typos. None of them are anything major, just little things to clean up when you have time.

helped Ernie get Seamus onto on the soft sofa before slumping down herself. – either onto the soft sofa or on the soft sofa

, she didn’t run him like before. – run to him
it seemed to move, swirl around him. – move and swirl

To wispy, not real enough – too

, her wild, curly hair waving in the wind wild around her face. – maybe change one of the usages of Wild to something else

The other hooded figures, the reach raised their wands and pointed them towards Alice until four – each raised

All in all, this chapter was excellently done. You spared us the gruesome physical torture and did something far worse by playing on fears and psychology. This story is by far one of my favorites on HPFF so far and I have high expectations for future chapters.

Let me know when you have the next chapter up.

~Kaitlin

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Review #5, by PaulaTheProkaryote Room 101

10th April 2016:
Hello lovely person! I'm here for the BvB and because my soul couldn't stay away.

Just like that Tracey let them go? That's the most suspicious thing I've read all day! I'm so happy that Seamus is okay though. I've worried about him ever since I read the last chapter! Of course they turned themselves in though. They had to! I really think it says something about each of their characters though. Yes, they are looking out for the greater good, but they are also looking out for each other. Maybe even more so at this point.

I really like that you added the window in the cell because I think if you can see the stars, see the free world, there's always hope. No matter how dark the things they experience, it's going to be okay and the world is worth fighting for.

Oh no, Tom's diary is next level torture for Ginny. You are so evil. You really have a mind for this kind of stuff! I felt myself internally screaming at her to just not even touch it! You did a really excellent job writing that though. I felt her anxiety and desperation.

I never really thought much about what Tom would say to her until now. The words you chose make perfect sense now though. Of course he'd be manipulative and emotionally abusive.

The 'just a boggart' line really outlines how intelligent Ginny is because I don't think too many people can think rationally when facing their worst fear. I'm fairly afraid that this encounter with this boggart might set her back considerable with her progress in sleeping.

My favorite line was "His voice dripped like thick honey over her, coating her, freezing her like a bug in amber." Not only is it incredibly descriptive, but it's just so poetic. Gorgeous word selection!

I really enjoyed each of the perspectives and how different they were for each of the characters. You really seemed to put some thought into what would most torment each of the characters and how they would handle it.

Neville's experience was much worst to me though. Not to diminish Ginny's trauma, but Neville had to see his mother going through that kind of torment I think would end up haunting him even more than it already does.

Luna's was something I hadn't anticipated. Sometimes, despite her oddness, she just seems so put together. It's hard for me to imagine her in that kind of emotional pain.

I know that I harp on and on about characterization, but it definitely is one of your strengths. The characters are so very dynamic and just real.

I LOVED the tie in to 1984. I recognized it when I first read the chapter title and I can say that it truly lived up to my expectations. You did such an excellent job. I desperately hope that despite how effective this tactic probably is, it doesn't break them down too desperately. Even if it does, I think when Harry, Ron, and Hermione comes back it'll reawaken their hope. The chapter was up wicked fast just like you promised! I can't wait for the next one!

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Review #6, by victoria_anne Glavlit

10th April 2016:
Hello my darling ♥

Uh oh... We got the Slytherins out! I'm glad they can't find the Silver Trio though, they must be hiding in the Room of Requirement!

Argh oh no, Tracey is clever, I'll give her that :/ I like how we get to see the bad guys planning their plans instead of them just happening! Ooh, Tracey is scary!

Aw the poor Patils! It's awful that they have to deal with what's going on with them in the castle, but also their family outside. You do a great job in capturing the horror and desperate times of a war.

Oh God! So they actually have Dobby?! Argh! This is terrible!

What a heart wrenching, dark chapter, but you still handle it so well. Can't wait to keep reading!

♥ B

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Review #7, by oldershouldknowbetter Trojan Horse

9th April 2016:
Hello I'm here for our swap. I'll skip over the proceeding chapter, and come back to review it some other time - there will be future BvBs.

The flight of Clio the owl is a good connector into the first two chapters. It also serves to show that the Carrows have some intelligence when they intercept the owl, they may be evil, but they are not stupid.

Ernie and Susan - both good inclusions from the ranks of whom we know from the books - leave to find their remaining Gryffindor mates - the ones that want to be found. They are informed of the development from the previous chapter - the abduction of Dobby.

It is good how you have them all mucking in and wanting to help each other and people in need (albeit, that it's a House-elf in need). It shows a camaraderie that would develop between people in such times. But for once it's not the Gryffindors who want to rush in, no they want a plan first.

The way you have Susan Bones knowing some advanced defensive magic is very well done. I really like it, it's perfect characterisation for her and for her family as well. Having past family members fall to the Death Eaters and current ones too, the Bones would be as on alert as the Weasleys and other members of the Order too.

We see things for a time from the perspective of Parvati. It's good to do so and puts us more in touch with her feelings and how she sees things. It is good the way you are doing this, sharing the POV around, as it allows us to touch bases with a lot of the people left behind at Hogwarts at this time, It allows us to see a fuller picture of all the events that you are detailing.

One thing this passage does is bring up the conceit that you started in the last chapter: that of the lack of food, and the poor quality of what they have. As I've said in my other reviews, I don't have any particular head-cannon associated with this area and time at all. So I'm open to anything that you are including. I'm not that sure about this severe lack of food that you have established. It does fit in though, the reasons you gave in your last chapter were sound and logical. And furthermore, we know from the books of JKR, that Harry, et al, were not living high themselves. I hadn't really thought about it, but it does make sense. And the best thing that can be said about it, and this reason trumps nearly any other, is that it is good for your story. It provides another avenue for drama and will throw necessary elements into the plot to come.

Parvati has been reduced to a wraith of her former self by the shortage of food (and her twin's punishment) and it's unsettling to read about - probably your intention as this is going to be a harrowing tale. Luckily we know it has a happy resolution ... eventually. But for now, the kids are going to suffer.

When Parvati finds her twin however, it gets even worse. She has to stay with her, and the others can see that there will be no drawing her away and that she might not have been the best continuing with them, in her weakened state.

The others leave in search of Dobby.

I like how, with an economy of words, you have differentiated the different characters of the Slytherins. Tracey is nasty and tetchy, Pansy is bored.

The plan is a pretty good one, and seems to work on the other students.

Yes it is, until the Carrows arrive. I like how you have them complimenting Tracey - they would reward loyalty to their sick aims. The action scene is well done and has a surprising ending - Dobby escapes.

He goes to and rescues the twins and takes them to the Room of Requirement. Parvarti lashing out at the trio that she knows she will find there is a bit harsh, but is not unexpected from someone who has endured what she has. She is interrupted by the sound of the doom laden bell of the plot, ringing to bring them out of their place of safety and into the arms of their persecutors.

There will be a lot more harrowing times to come, I feel, before things get better.

Andrew,
Oldershouldknowbetter.

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Review #8, by Gabriella Hunter Trojan Horse

8th April 2016:
HELLO! >:)

Thank you a ton for the lovely review that you left for Marry Me! You already know who this is! *Dances around to disco music*

Argh, what are you doing to me?! I don't think I can take it! I've been waiting ages for this chapter to come out and I'm so happy that you've started writing again because this is one of my favorite stories. I was so tense reading this, you did such a good job of layering the impending fight!

I like the varying POV in this chapter too, I thought it was interesting to start this off from Clio's. I mean, when do we ever get an owl's perspective on anything? What I liked here though was the innocence in her observations, she knew something was wrong and the only thing she wanted was to see her Luna. It really makes me hate the Carrows more when they take something personal from the kids and defile it, simply for the sick pleasure it gives them.

Totally not cool, man.

And then we have our little band of fighters! I don't see Ernie or Susan being used often in fanfics but I like that you included them here. It was great to see the others through their eyes and I was seriously worried about Parvati. You really took an interesting turn with her character, I think.

You had me thinking that when they rushed to save Dobby that Parvati, because of how weak she was, would be the first one captures. I liked the twist that you went with! And poor Padma! The Carrows are terrible and I got the chills reading that particular sequence.

The following fight with the Slytherins and later the Carrows themselves was very well written. It was bloody, desperate and I could just feel the Carrow's hatred for the children. Writing this sort of thing isn't easy either, so well done!

But that ending! Parvati, I think has a valid reason for being angry with Ginny and the others but I don't think they're going to have time to sort through it right now. Seamus needs them and argh, my heart kind of stopped beating for a minute! How could you?!

Update soon! Like, tomorrow or I'll get ya.

Much love,

Gabbie

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Review #9, by dreamgazer220 Prologue

8th April 2016:
Hi Stefanie! Here for our review swap :)

In less than 1,000 words, you've managed to hook me into this story. There's no dialogue, but it doesn't matter. This chapter doesn't need it.

I love the idea of Luna's father giving her gifts, and her distributing them. I have a feeling it might have something to do with the DA, but since you never specified, it leaves an air of mystery and intrigue which I really, really like.

You have some great descriptions here too. I could feel both Ernie and Susan get excited over the quills, and I love that they seemed to know what it was/it didn't matter because it was a meaningful gift from Luna.

I have a feeling these gifts have some kind of greater significance, and I can't wait to find out what that is!

Really, really great start here. I'm definitely adding this to my reading list, though it might take me a little while to get back here.

Thanks for the swap and the great read!

~Jill

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Review #10, by TreacleTart Trojan Horse

8th April 2016:
Hey Stefanie,

I'm here for our review swap! And let me just say that I am so excited about this story and the fact that there's another chapter up! You're truly writing this in a brilliant fashion and I can't wait to see where you go with it!

Gosh, so much happens in this chapter that left my heart racing. I just don't even know where to start.

I really love how you started this chapter from Clio's perspective. It's incredible seeing a story through the eyes of an owl and the dedication she shows for her owner and friends is beautiful. This is why people love their pets so much. Plus, it added such a unique twist to the story.

So Ernie and Seamus are two characters that I enjoy writing about quite frequently, so it was great seeing them get a chance to play the hero. In general, I enjoy the way you've built up all of these minor characters and shown us just how they fight through the Carrows reign. It's really fantastic and I find myself truly caring about each one of them.

One small little detail that I really enjoyed was that Tracey was the leader of the Slytherins. All too often, I see either Blaise or Pansy used, so it was again nice that you gave a lesser known character more of a chance to shine.

That moment where Parvati finds Padma is so touching. I couldn't imagine knowing that your sister was being tortured and not being able to rescue her. It was truly beautiful seeing them reunited.

I was so hopeful for our group of brave Gryffies and Puffs. I was celebrating as I thought that their plan had succeeded, but based on the chapter description I knew that something had to be off...and exactly what I was dreading happened. It was heartbreaking watching all of my favorite characters fall.

I nearly teared up when Dobby got to Parvati and Padma. Lavender's actions in that moment really exemplified why she was a Gryffindor. She gave up potential escape to save her best friends. That's incredibly moving.

And then the ending. Ugh. It's so ominous. Like I said previously, Seamus is one of my favorite characters, so I just want to go jump through the screen and save him from the Carrows.

In terms of CC, I don't really have anything. This chapter was really clean and polished. The flow and pace were perfect. I'm just sad that there isn't another chapter to go to immediately because this story has me so hooked.

Thanks for the swap and make sure you let me know when the next chapter is up!

~Kaitlin

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Review #11, by PaulaTheProkaryote Trojan Horse

7th April 2016:
I really enjoyed the beginning of the story in Clio's perspective. I'm so upset with the way Alecto treated her though. I mean, obviously these people probably aren't the kind to care about animals, but it was unnecessarily rough and that's absolutely unacceptable to me. They get what's comin' to them.

I really like the idea that Susan Bone's dad had been training her for her own safety. I think that would be the first thing I'd do in this scenario. Also, I'm glad that they are sensible Gryffindors. With at least reasonable planning skills. I feel like our beloved golden trio just rush head first into messes without having an idea what they're going to do.

I'm glad they managed to get to Padma as well. I think it would help Pavarti's condition to have her sister with her.

Dobby is such a hero, really. I can just imagine him yammering on and on about how amazing Harry Potter is, knowing full and well that it was driving Tracey crazy. I bet it was bizarre for them to see Seamus dropping down and caring so much for Dobby. I was just wondering about his ability to apparate and why he didn't just get himself out of there, but it makes sense. I'm so glad that he grabbed the girls and forced them to safety.

Also, can we talk about how brave they were, shooting curses at the Carrows? Like obviously you're going to be in very serious trouble if you get caught. There's no way a direct attack would go unpunished.

Alecto was clever, it's true, but you should never underestimate a pack of Gryffindors with a grudge. They'll be fine.

I obviously absolutely cannot wait until the next chapter. You had to leave it on such a serious cliffhanger. I think you are practically the third of the Carrow siblings for that. Do you enjoy torturing innocent readers? YOU DO!

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Review #12, by victoria_anne Affiche Rouge

5th April 2016:
HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS STORY?!

*runs and hides in shame*

*comes crawling back because review*

Hi Stefi! ♥

So that article had Rita Skeeter's perfectly manicured hands all over it! The language was just perfect for something written by her - all dramatic. Though, of course, the actual content is horrible! What is behind all that, I wonder? Hm...

Ooh, girlfriend. You write the Carrows so good. Or rather, bad. They give me the shivers, they do.

"To be writing on the walls again, but for the right side this time." - Before I even read this, I wondered if you would make the connection, and you did! A haunting full circle.

I've literally been looking for a missing moments story like this - what happened in Hogwarts during the second year, and again I feel guilty for forgetting this. But never again! I am here to stay! (Lucky you, muahahaha). I love love love resistance fighters, and you have captured that incredibly well. I'ma settle in on this story *gets comfortable*

We simply must watch cat videos and eat cake together ♥

Love Bianca

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Review #13, by PaulaTheProkaryote Glavlit

5th April 2016:
I can say quite confidently that I do not like Tracey Davis. Vile little snake of a girl.

I like your characterization of Crabbe. He's still the idiot he was before, but just as cunning as well. Very Slytherin. Honestly, his internal thought process reminds me a lot of what I'd expect Dudley's to be. Maybe that's why Harry dealt with the dolt so easily throughout school.

I've seen the food tactic a few times both in history and in modern life. They say that food is a reflection of morale and I think that's so incredibly true. I'd like to imagine some old crazy witches dispersing seed packets on the outside to prevent all of the wizarding families on the good side of things from starving. If I were a herbologist, it's probably what I'd try to work on! Fast growth and high nutrition! My heart breaks at the thought of starving students.

I feel so bad for all of the remaining Gryffindors, but Seamus especially. I just would hate to feel so helpless in this situation. Watching your friend waste away doesn't help anything at all.

I think Dobby bringing potions and supplements is such a nice touch. It's exactly something Dobby would do. He's such a good elf.

So, I'm ready for the next chapter. Where is it? Honestly, I feel like you're acting very Carrowish for not having it posted. Making me wait is almost as bad as being strung up in the dungeons.

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely reviews! I will respond to the others eventually, but I've got a bit of a backlog.

I'm glad you're enjoying this. I've tried to make this story realistic with real world things happening around me. The idea of a school being the centre of a revolution feels very real to me, especially becauses of our current climate. My school has been the centre of quite a few protest movements recently.

I'm glad you like Dobby's character here. I added that in later at the suggestion of reviewers :)

For once, I can actually say that the next chapter is in the queue!! For the past very long time I've always hit people with a 'I'm working on it slowly' but now the next chapter is actually done and in the queue! In fact, the chapter after it is done as well!

I hope you keep reading when the next chapter is out :)

Stefanie


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Review #14, by PaulaTheProkaryote Affiche Rouge

5th April 2016:
"...victims of Kingsley Shacklebolt, a fugitive member of the underground terrorism cell, the Order of the Phoenix."

RITA! She literally is just a walking propaganda machine! Absolutely no integrity! I mean, I guess I understand. You either publish that garbage or someone else will and you'll find yourself out of a job and probably dead in this political climate, but still!

Ginny is the fiercest person. The way you portray her reminds me of Harry in OOTP. She isn't going to bow down just because someone tries to force her to.

I really have always wondered why McGonagall and the other teachers never fought this. They were definitely strong enough to get rid of the Carrows and Snape, but didn't. They could have banded together and finished them. I mean, eventually they did. I just struggle with the idea of them idly watching as this happened. Regardless of the consequences. Even if it is for the students' safety. They could take 'em.

The posters and graffiti are so clever. I love these techniques. I really love the way you've tied this back to real world propaganda tactics. I feel smarter just reading about this. Ginny spraying the bright red messages on the walls reminds me of Chamber of Secrets. Then, it was someone else's message for someone else's war. Now, it was her own message for her own war. It's such a good transformation. OH! I type these as I read and didn't expect you to point that out as well. I thought I was going on a minor tangent. I love the messages they wrote too! Concise and straight to the point!

"They were sure that Godric Gryffindor wouldn’t mind them defacing his ancient school with their messages of their rebellion though." Godric Gryffindor would be so proud to see his students fight back, despite the consequences that were sure to happen. Honestly, I'm so proud of all of the Gryffindors.

Overall, I absolutely loved this chapter and now I'm all fought-up for a war that I can never fight. Thankfully, I can read instead. I can't wait to see what the next chapter has in store!

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Review #15, by PaulaTheProkaryote Prologue

4th April 2016:
Hi!

I know, I know. You said one review. You might have even meant it. But there's a few reasons why that won't happen. First, I can't live my life like that! Second, your third chapter will be my 100th review. Third, I believe in destiny. I have no idea, but it needed a third.

First of all, I love the title and it's origin. That's so clever and well thought out. I also appreciate the thought you put into naming Clio the owl. It's all very appropriate and very Lovegood-like.

I'm not sure yet what the quills and single socks and everything is all about, but it's mysterious, odd, and intriguing, just like Luna. My immediate speculation would be that they would have relevance to the DA based on who received one. Perhaps similar to Hermione's coin? Or maybe for an entirely new purpose?

As for the one terrible year, I'm assuming it's the one we all mostly missed. I can't even imagine what it would be like for the students that stayed at Hogwarts. If it had been my kids, I'd have yanked them out of school right then and there.

I think even if Filch had the capability to magically repair the damage he did to the ornate wrapping, he still wouldn't be bothered.

I really loved the line: "The past informed the present would inform the future" because I think that's very true and relevant even in our current age with all of the political unrest.

I can't wait to read the second chapter (albeit a bit later because I'm about to be stuck in lab for the next ten hours). It was a very good start to what I'm confident will be a very good story!

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Review #16, by oldershouldknowbetter Affiche Rouge

30th March 2016:
Hi there, I thought I should review the other stories in the category that I also have been nominated for, just to see what my competition is. ;)

And what do I find, but that both of them are yours. Wow, you little tempestuous tale writer you. Furthermore, when I see what they are, I have already left a review of the excellent Colours, and the first chapter of this story. So I should venture on to the second and really find out exactly what that mysterious blue glow actually was.

It is an interesting start to have an excerpt from the paper, and by a villain that we all love to hate, Rita Skeeta. It's all obviously lies, as Ginny points out to us when we see her. It's a good device, it affords a good entry point into the chapter, as well as being interesting in and of itself. Of course the ministry would use the Daily Prophet as a tool to advance their interests under Voldemort - they did it beforehand after all. But not to the extent of these absolute untruths. They would mangle the truth of the stories they printed, but never indulge in outright lies as you depict here. As I said, it's very thought provoking. One thing that springs to mind is exactly how complicit is Rita in the endeavour? She always liked to have a bit of control, she wrote lies, but they were her lies. I wonder how much she likes being under the thumb of a bigger liar than herself? Hmm?

The scene between Ginny and Amycus was of course absolutely horrible. A good thing, if you can call anything about it good, was the way you led first with a mundane punishment and followed it with a magical one.A teacher hitting a student like that is every bit as unforgivable as the magical curse which follows it. Ginny stands up to what she can, but the crucio is something else.

One thing I thought about it though, was that it was a bit too much defiance from her, but then I realised that this is far from the first time that she has stood up to the Brother and Sister. It’s confirmed later when she is dragged to safety by her two friends. Of course this is where you start the story, not at the beginning of the year. Back then as things got gradually worse under the Carrows, the acts of defiance and rebelion would have increased along with them. It is a good idea to have started your story when the stakes have gotten higher.

The blue light is explained and it is as I thought, it is the un-transfiguration of coppies of the Quibbler.

There is an act of defiance from the trio and I like how you juxtpose it with Ginny’s previous attempts at graffiti. It is a good parallel to draw - both times it has been done because of Voldemort: the first was because she was under his power but now the second is in defiance of him.

Alecto has a nasty temper on her when she finds the trio’s work in the morning doesn’t she? I like what you’ve done with the reactions of Professor McGonagall. She has a very fine line that she has to tread and she realises that when it comes down to either the bricks and mortar of the school or the students, she knows which one she must protect first.

The way this is done makes me think that is this the start of them almost living in the Room of Requirement? I’m not sure that it’s the right time frame for that - Luna is still there, so it must be before the Christmas break. But if it’s not, then Ginny and Neville and Luna are going to be bound for some punishment.

All in all a good second chapter that expands well upon the first.

Andrew,
Oldershouldknowbetter.

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Review #17, by Anna_ Glavlit

13th March 2016:
I gotta say, you were absolutely spot on with this chapter!!! Really brilliant. You gave me insights into three characters (other than Lavender) that I haven't seen much of. And you brought up some thoughts I hadn't had before regarding shortage of food supply.

A few things that could be added is a possible side character and how they look as they're slowly starving. The hair example (no longer shining, falling out) is brilliant, but before their untimely end, you'll see said person with a distended stomache and they won't be able to stand for long periods of time. The light hurts to look directly at and (if sent to bed or even if they sit still too long) they will fall asleep. In this regard, if Parvati was sent to bed, she would have been asleep within minutes as the hair loss signaled that the distended stomach was either a step she was already on or a step she was about to hit. The only way she would have heard them in that case would have been lightly sleeping on the couch in the common room and not in her dormitory.

However, her concern and actions when she hears about Dobby are believable, especially with the backstory of Dobby's help with the students.

I really hope to see some more of Lavender in future chapters. The only way we've really seen her is as an obsessed girlfriend. We've never seen her as a caring friend. You've given her a wonderful start as of now and I'd love to see it expand. Give me a girl that I'm sad to see on the ground in the final battle.

All that being said, I REALLY enjoyed this chapter immensely and feel that it was your best of the three so far. I can tell each one has been improving and am looking forward to seeing how they progress as a whole.

This chapter makes me want to see how they react to Dobby's demise, as they all seem to really care for him now. I hope to see that in a future chapter too!

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Review #18, by Anna_ Affiche Rouge

13th March 2016:
Let me first say that I absolutely love long chapters. I feel they get really juicy when they're longer!! I was really hoping for a Carrows chapter and you did not disappoint. When Amycus slapped Ginny, my jaw literally dropped to the ground. Very well written and I loved seeing how scary he was!

Speaking of Ginny, I feel you really hit the nail on the head with her. She's sassy, doesn't put up with nonsense, and isn't afraid to speak her mind. I absolutely loved it!!! And her reference to the Chamber of Secrets was so well done!

I really liked seeing Luna in this chapter again but still missed her quirkiness. Is the horror of the Carrows and the impending war getting to her? If so, I'd love to peek into her mind a bit. Maybe with a flashback of a scene with her doing something ridiculous in front of them and getting punished for it, therefore breaking just a bit of her spirit.

With Neville, I didn't feel like I got enough of him. His transformation into the awesome fighter he is happened during this year and (since Rowling focused on HP and the gang for most of the school year) we didn't really get to see it. This is your opportunity to show us how he finishes the transformation from coward to a "true griffindor" who is worthy of pulling the sword from the sorting hat and taking down the snake. I can only hope he makes such an appearance in a later chapter.

Overall, this is very very well written. Rita's article at the beginning was perfect and the reactions from Ginny, Luna, and Neville were spot on.

I'm really hoping to see more "rebellion" scenes in future chapters, chats with McGonagall, and any other supporting teachers they grow to trust. Wonderful job!

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Review #19, by Anna_ Prologue

13th March 2016:
Okay, so I'm here per your request to check out your lovely story. And a way with words you certainly have!!

I absolutely love how you described the package when it arrived to Luna. It's definitely believable that they would arrive in such a disheveled mess!

One thing I really wish I saw was a little bit more of Luna's quirky personality. From her clothes, to her thoughts, and even to her gifts, this character gives you a lot of room to get a little crazy. ;)

For example, describing her mix matched socks or the fact that she has on two left shoes because people keep stealing her right shoe. Or how one of the gifts she gave was "nargle protection" and looked (to others) like a head of garlic bathed in perfume. This would certainly fit the character and make it clear that Luna is no ordinary witch.

Finishing this chapter, I feel like it's off to a really good start! Is this (Luna, Ernie, Susan) the new silver trio to Harry, Hermione, and Ron's golden trio. As a pleasantly surprised reader, I really hope so.

I'm really hoping to see Ernie and Susan again, if this is going in the novel direction. I'd love to see them attempt to hid their gifts from the Carrows and Filch, ultimately get caught, and possibly have Snape discreetly save them in a non obvious way. As you've already written the next few chapters, it may not go that way (and that's good by me) but that's why my (the objective readers) thoughts lie.

I'll be reading the next few chapters to see what happens. :)

Author's Response: Hi Anna!

Thank you for the review. I'm so sorry that this response is coming so late. Real life has been kicking my butt.

I'm happy you liked this. I would really like to get more into Luna's quirky character. She is just such a delight. I didn't do it here because I wanted to keep this very short and to the point, but in subsequent chapters with Luna I feel I haven't addressed that enough either. So it is definitely something I'm going to keep in mind as I keep writing.

Thanks again for the review!

Stefanie


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Review #20, by victoria_anne Prologue

12th March 2016:
BAM. Didn't even get a chance to further explore your author page, because this one grabbed me straight away. *prepares self for shameless stalk of author page later*

Ooh what a good start! I WANT TO KNOW MORE! What is Xenophilius up to, I wonder? What is he hiding in each his weekly gifts? How exciting!

Short and sweet, so of course you've dragged me in! I'll just have to continue reading tonight now, won't I...

I love the way you write too, it's beautiful and descriptive without being overdone.

See you soon!

B x

Author's Response: Hello B!

Thanks for stopping by! I'm so glad you liked this story! I've been working on it a lot lately!

Stefanie


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Review #21, by Dojh167 Glavlit

4th March 2016:
For the HPFF Review-A-Thon

I didn't realize there was another chapter up =D (mostly because I've been virtually MIA)I'm not used to reading one chapter at a time with such long intervals. I need a recap like on TV shows... So bear with me if I miss something that was totally explained in a previous chapter.

Happy Vincent is scary. And what's most scary, is he isn't a supernatural kind of scary. He's a kind of dumb kid who's been an outsider and looks down on his peers. And that kind of kid being given power and encouragement to torture others is terrifying. Ugh, and then he says "Much too arrogant for a girl" ?! Hate him.

It's dark, but still hilarious that Seamus' main reason for punishment is being Neville's last roommate. I imagine him with a barricade in that dorm. By which I mean blanket fort.

"They can't be that daft." They're Gryffindors. Truer words have never been spoken...

I think it's a really clever twist you put in that the Death Eater's refused to import muggle food. It does definitely sound like something some of them (the Carrows in particular) would do, and is certainly effective at crushing student morale. However, when I think of the Magic Is Might statue, it makes me think that the greater philosophy is to use muggles essentially as slave labor, doing tasks they consider below wizard-kind like agriculture. I'm not sure which one of these takes is more realistic, but I love that you brought this idea up here.

I love the tenderness between Parvati and Lavender here (Always shipping)

I'm not totally clear on what Seamus and Lavender's relationship is with Dobby. I didn't think they really knew him, but they seem quite passionate about saving him. I can't help but wonder if they really think saving him is worth risking their trio, but yes, Gryffindors will Gryffindor.

I thought that this was a really interesting chapter. It was good to get a chance to focus on the players here other than the trio, and definitely to see a bit of the Slytherin and the Gryffindor side.

There were a couple of places where I felt the story could use a bit more editing to improve grammatical clarity, but it wasn't a huge distraction.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hi Sam!

Thanks for the review! I'm sorry that I'm so late replying to it. Things have been busy lately!

Ugh, Vincent is the worst isn't he? I mean sexist and a Death Eater sympathizer? He hasn't got much going for him.

Seamus is definitely a fan of the blanket fort type of protection. I imagine it gets really cozy up in that room and since the girls can go into the boys' rooms, I bet he has fun blanket fort parties with Lavender and Parvati.

As for the agriculture, I agree that Voldemort would use muggles as slave labour. I figure that would be the next step in his plan. At this point, the statute of secrecy hasn't fallen yet and using muggles as slave labour in England would cause some international problems, I'd imagine. So that's why he hasn't done it yet. Voldemort's no idiot after all.

I think you're totally right about Seamus and Lavender's relationship with Dobby. I never did explain that - which is why I've now edited this chapter to fix that point. Thank you for pointing it out :)

Thanks again for your review!

Stefanie


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Review #22, by marauderfan Glavlit

20th February 2016:
Like a snail running a marathon, I have FINALLY got a chance to get back to my review thread. Many apologies on how long this has taken.

Vincent - this is weird to see, as I forgotten Crabbe had a first name :P

That aside, wow, so this is a really good chapter. I love the different perspectives you're using, and how we don't just see what our heroes are doing - they don't even show up in this chapter. Instead we get a look into the minds of the SLytherins and those who haven't gotten on the bad side of the Death Eaters/new administration, and it's fascinating. In particular Tracy Davis' methods for luring the trio out of hiding - that's so cruel - and yet she does understand Gryffindors so well.

And the way you describe life under the rule of the Carrows. This is where your story really shines because you bring in all the details and very harsh realism you'd expect to find in a story about the second world war or something - and this IS a war story, and it feels so real. Details like Parvati having no appetite and being so malnourished, I haven't seen that in a fic before and yet it makes sense that the students would having all these physical and psychological issues that are not far beneath the surface if anyone bothers to look. And here you are really making us look. Same with the no-taking-food-from-the-great-hall rule; it's giving the school a very military and policed feel.

I also like that you're looking into the lives of Seamus, Parvati, and Lavender, who don't have a huge role in the books as they're just too normal, but this chapter shows the effects of the war on normal people who aren't busy being heroes or saving the world. It hits hard.

Speaking of Lavender though, I LOVE what you've done with her character here. She gets portrayed as so one-sided in the books (because Harry doesn't like her and doesn't care) but here you've showed that even someone who is giggly and silly and chases boys, also has a heart and deep convictions and integrity, because those things shouldn't be mutually exclusive and I love that you showed that with her fierce desire to do something.

Some small things:

something about missing there three rebel leaders -- should be 'their'

instilled a kind of unshakable fear in people. -- here, I think it would be much more powerful to remove the 'kind of'. 'Kind of unshakable' sounds like it's still a bit wobbly and shakable :P

My main concrit would be that I don't recall Lavender ever crossing paths with Dobby. And it's not totally unbelievable that she would know who Dobby is - after all, who knows, maybe Dobby talked to all the students and we only hear about Harry's pov of it, but she seems very concerned about Dobby and I had always had the impression that Dobby was super close with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but not every student knew who he was - after all, he was just another elf in the kitchens and most students didn't hang out there. So basically - you can make this work in the story, but I did have a bit of a "hmm?" moment reading Lavender's deep concern for Dobby because I hadn't been aware that she knew anything about him.

Ok, I realized that I didn't even answer your questions! The way the plot is going - well, so far I love it. This is one of my favourite types of stories - Hogwarts era that goes into the perspectives of minor characters, and your attention to detail and nods to history is remarkable. I think you're doing a great job.

Btw, your chapter titles are so cool and I love the stories behind them. They add in all these parts of history that really complement the story.

Great work on this, and once again sorry for taking 3 months!

Author's Response: Hello!

Thanks so much for the review. Don't worry about the time, I'm just so happy to receive reviews!

I also found it really weird writing Crabbe's first name. I actually couldn't remember what it was, so I looked it up like five times before posting this chapter.

I am trying to go for a police state vibe in this story. Not just in Hogwarts, but beyond the school. Its a nation inder seige and they get a very militaristic leader out of it. So I'm glad you noticed that its very much a police state in Hogwarts too.

And so so so glad you liked Lavender. I didn't like her one-dimensional portrayal in HBP, so I tried to flesh her out more here by exploring the devotion she has to her friends. In times like here, I think they'd rely on these friendships very much.

I think you're right that Seamus, Lavender, and Parvati have never met Dobby. I meant to explain that I think but then forgot to. I'll deal with that little plot hole in the next chapter! Thank you for pointing that out!

Thank you again for such a lovely review!

Stefanie


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Review #23, by Aphoride Glavlit

18th February 2016:
Hey there, Stefi! :) So I feel so bad for not realising this was up and not stopping by yet - I love this story so much, but sadly being busy with uni means I don't check my favourites all too often and I didn't notice :(

Anyway, I'm here now! :)

You already know I love this story, and one of the reasons is that this is just so good, from a historigraphical kinda point of view - it makes the war feel that much real, that much more terrifying, because of all the little realistic, historical tactics and things you put into this. It's really an absolute tour de force of incorporating history and poliics and all those kinds of ideologies without making it drag or feel too heavy, you know? You've just got the whole feel of this spot on, and it's amazing.

I love your characters, and how you branch away in this chapter from the usual suspects of the silver trio and all. It's so cool - and I love the combination of povs, the way they all tie into each other with mentions and things. The way Crabbe thinks Tracey's too arrogant for a girl (ha!), and Tracey's so sure she can get the trio out of hiding herself (and what a ferociously cruel way of doing it!), Seamus and Lavender with their determination to do something even if they don't know what, and how Parvati so desperately wishes she was brave enough to do something. It's so sad, and so difficult, and you portray all of that - the fear, the hope and fear perhaps of staying on the right side and doing the 'right' thing, how Crabbe and Tracey and people like them maybe don't necessarily believe in the Dark Lord's message but believe that there's nothing they can do and so just go along with it. It's a really powerful message about belief, which echoes those things Dumbledore used to say about hope, which is so lovely and so clever ;)

Your writing is so gorgeous in this - your words are so perfectly chosen to describe the scene and so harsh too, but never exaggerating - the way you use 'starvation' and things just makes it so stark and so real and so horrible, because there's always this reminder that although this is a story, in the story it's real for them, and it is has happened in real life (and still happens in some places). It's so so brilliant and I have no idea how you do it, but it's amazing.

Seriously. I'm in love with this story.

Please, please update soon! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello Aph!

Thank you so much for this wonderful review! I'm so glad you liked this.

I'm a big fan of history, so I felt like I just had to weave in references and stuff, plus with the title and chapters titles, how could I not put some more realism into this?

Crabbe and Tracey were definitely a lot of fun to write. They're just really twisted people. And Seamus, Parvati, and Lavender too. They're portrayed pretty flat in canon, but I really wanted to do a lot with minor characters in this story. I'm definitely going to bring in more minor characters.

Thank you so much for your kind comments. I really wanted to make this a realistic war stories. And with a lot of conflict going on in the real world, I've been quite motivated to write this.

Thanks again!

Stefanie


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Review #24, by RavenclawFTW Glavlit

7th February 2016:
Heya Stefanie! I can't believe I missed this update but I'm glad I was checking out your AP for BvB!

Well, this story is always an incredible read. Your characterization is crazily compelling and the image you paint of this year at Hogwarts is so gripping and troubling. I was so engrossed by the actions of this chapter, and I'm really amazed at how you've used perspective to convey so much about what's going on. Being inside of Crabbe's head at the start of the chapter was a great way to show the mentality of the Death Eaters, and the absolute conviction behind his beliefs is really troubling. I feel like I don't read from Death Eater's perspectives much, besides Draco, who's a bit of an exception, so great job with that.

I'm so amazed at the absolute terribleness of living in Hogwarts during this time, and you've written not only the desperation of the students, but also the ongoing impacts of that, really believably. Kudos!

I can't wait for the next update– what's going to happen to Dobby?? I love him and want to protect him and I hope the Gryffindors can help!! (It's a sign of how frazzled I am by his peril that my grammar is going out the window...)

Great job, Stefanie!! Thanks for sharing. :)

--J

Author's Response: Hi J!

Thanks for the review! So happy that you came back to this story!

Crabbe and Tracey were quite a bit of fun to write. I like writing baddies. But I definitely also enjoyed getting into Seamus's head too. He's so fun, obviously not very fun here, but still.

I would be lying if I said I was working on the next chapter. I keep trying to, but I'm not. I will eventually though! It's my new year's resolution to do at least four more chapters of this in 2016!

Stefanie


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Review #25, by TearsIMustConceal Glavlit

5th January 2016:
Hi Stefanie! And I'm back with your actual requested review! I was ridiculously excited to read this!

I like how you started with Crabbe – we don't read much about him so it was a refreshing change and I think it's a good way to grab the readers attention. His view of the world is a little fanatical, he's very obviously a Voldemort supporter and his way of thinking is a little scary but also not too surprising, he has been around Malfoy for a long time so it's only natural he'd be that way of thinking because I can imagine under Malfoy's thumb, he didn't think much for himself. He clearly has a thing for Tracey and it's not a stretch to think he might do something stupid to get her to notice him, even if it is clearly going to be fruitless.

Reading about Parvati was difficult – I feel terrible for her and your descriptions were so realistic, I could picture her and I wanted to wince every time she moved because I felt like she would break. Lavender's concern for her is super touching – I love their friendship and it's nice to see Lavender different to how she's usually portrayed – we only obviously read about the annoying Lavender but she stole from the Great Hall for Parvati – that's an amazing friend right there! And for Seamus to say that they were the only ones he had left – that made me melt – poor Seamus!

Urgh, Tracey is a sly Slytherin isn't she? Her plan though, it's a good one and she's right – the Gryffindors will come and do rescue mission because that's what they do and it's Dobby – you can't leave Dobby to get hurt!

Will Parvati even be able to help? And I love how you instantly have them ready to fight back and rescue Dobby – that's true Gryffindor spirit right there! It's obviously a trap though so I hope they make it out safe!

Your writing is amazing as usual and your descriptions are beautiful! Definitely keeping this story in mind for Diadems – it's simply stunning! I'm glad you requested a review!!

I need more Stefanie! I cannot wait for the next chapter!

-Vicki

Author's Response: Hi Vicki!

Thank so much for this wonderful review!

It was kind of fun writing from Tracey and Crabbe's perspectives. The school is a lot different for them than it is for other people. The varying experiences of people is definitely something I want to do with this story. I feel like war never is one person's story, there's so many different ways to experience it.

I really enjoyed making Lavender and Parvati's friendship. I have always pictured it as a really deep, true friendship. They really do love each other. And Seamus too. I realized that he lost everyone except Neville, he must have found solace in new friends. Who better than Lavender and Parvati?

Eep, Diadems!! I'm overwhelmed completely by that idea! Thank you so much for these amazing reviews Vicki! And again, so sorry for taking so long to respond to them!

Stefanie


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