Reading Reviews for Forest
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gossip Girl Forest

1st September 2015:
Hey, HPFFers. Gossip Girl here with a new dish that I know you'll love.

Spotted: Little L disappearing into the Forbidden Forest with none other than Elia Gardener. Of course, the rumor mill has been flying ever since the two became friends back in Little L's second year and I can assure you, this writer has been following the story closely since that fateful day. I can say with certainty that this turn of events certainly is interesting. Could it be that the two have finally decided to admit how they really feel?

Thanks to my source on the inside (we'll call her Rhaenyra to keep her identity a secret), I have first hand knowledge of the status of these two rule breakers. Her tips show the wonderful progression of these two from strangers to friends to something even more. For those of you who can't tell, my source uses imagery to really showcase the relationship between the two girls and without that, the whole tip would have come out differently.

I'm sure that a tip about Little L may have some of my readers second guessing the validity of this review, but rest assured, Little L may not be as innocent as you all assume. Sure, we're used to her flying under the radar, but finally seeing her out in the open and at the center of a tip is refreshing, is it not? I commend Rhaenyra for taking the time to send it in.

Until next time, my lovelies. You know you love me,

XOXO Gossip Girl

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad it wasn't something that got on Gossip Girl's bad side!

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Review #2, by ScorpiusRose17 Forest

21st August 2015:
Hi!

I saw this story listed in the One-shot Dobby Noms so I thought I would stop by and give it a read! :)

I don't normally read LGBTQA stories, but this was fabulous! I loved the way that you characterized both Lily and Elia. I also really enjoyed the descriptions and could really picture in my mind everything you described from the look of the trees, to the color of Elia's eyes.

I was happy to see there relationship grow over time. It was sweet and the way that they bonded over baby unicorn's but then went back to that same spot where they first met in the end was nice. It made their friendship and relationship come full circle.

Keep up the awesome work!

-Jenn

Author's Response: Thank you very much. It involved a lot of new stuff for me too so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Review #3, by jessicalorewrites Forest

23rd June 2015:
hey! jess here, reading and reviewing so that I can (finally lol) get the results out for the diversity challenge. the results should be out within the next couple of days so keep your eyes peeled over on the forums!

plot/written value:
this is the most adorable thing!! honestly the forest and all the outdoorsy writing makes me so loved up for this kind of plot. it's calm and serene and just so tranquil, and I think that reflects the kind of easy going relationship that elia and lily have. even the name choices back this imagery up. the unicorns were a nice touch too--so cute!! I'm surprised in the bit about riding dragons that lily didn't bring up the fact her dad and uncle and aunt had ridden one haha,though I did enjoy the little joke about harry and the hungarian horntail ;)

characters:
I love how you've diverted from some of the common lily potter tropes in this. she's typically the brash or excitable one but here she's much more shy and seems to mostly keep to herself. she's bumbling and vaguely awkward and starry-eyed but it's endearing in all the best ways possible. elia has a more mature head on her shoulders but I like that in the end she's just as flustered around lily as lily as she. nerves in a relationship are a good indicator of how much you like the other person, in my opinion, because if you're nervous it means you care a lot about the outcome ♥

diversity:
the ease in which you portrayed the relationship between the girls is so wonderful! there was no angst or backlash and I really enjoyed how laid back and drama-free the whole thing was. obviously for many coming out and getting into a same-sex relationship can be very stressful but nonetheless I think how easily elia and lily came together is a nice reflection of the rest of the story's tone and the type of characters they are ♥

favourite line/bit:
"'Level five, impossible to train or demsticate', she said promptly. she sighed. 'it's unfortunate too, I think I would quite like to ride a dragon'."

- jess, xo

Author's Response: Hi Jess! Sorry that it has been more than a month since you left the review. *blushes*

Thank you for going into so much detail! This was relatively new territory for me, since I had not written slash or much Next Gen, so the way you broke down your comments was really helpful. I'm glad you liked the whimsy and the way it turned out, since this was definitely a challenge for me (they wouldn't co-operate!) and I only managed to squeak into your challenge at the last minute.

Thank you for giving me the push for this and for all of your comments. =)


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Review #4, by cherry_pop94 Forest

13th June 2015:
Hi Rhaenyra!

Here for the review you requested. Sorry it took me so long to get here.

I really like the beginning of this. I think it sets the scene and sets up the tone for the rest of this. I get the feeling of peace, serenity, and calm already and I’m just a few sentences in. And then when Lily talks about being alone and how she’s never really alone in her giant family. I think that’s a perfect descriptor of what such a large and close family would be like. I’m sure it’s lovely, but it must get suffocating. I also like the description of her as alone, but surrounded by people. To me, that situation either comes off as wonderful or very sad. Here, it seems quite wonderful.

In your first section, you’ve characterized Lily really well. She’s pensive, likes to be alone, and sort of shy, I think. I love how you’ve shown us her personality without describing too much of who she is. I personally have that problem, so I think you’ve done a really fantastic job here with that. Elia’s personality also seems quite strong already. She’s more adventurous than Lily, kind, sweet, and obviously quite caring. I think they balance each other out really well. And the way Lily acted when she first met Elia was lovely. She’s so young here, so it seems fitting that she’d be sort of awkward around this beautiful older girl.

You’ve also done a good job aging Lily as the years go on. She herself recognizes that she isn’t the same as she was when she first met Elia, and the reader realizes that too. She seems more comfortable with herself in the way that she speaks and less weird around Elia from the first section to the second and the third. It’s a very natural progression too. Because you wrote in past tense, you were able to keep the same tone through Lily’s narration through the whole thing as well. I think this was a good choice, since writing in present tense might bring up the challenge of changing her narration tone to fit her age.

Overall, I thought this was really well done. It’s a very sweet relationship here. It’s so organic and there’s really nothing dramatic or special about it, but it’s very beautiful. Lily and Elia are just a normal couple without any dramatic storytelling. I think that makes it seem very real.

Thanks for sharing this story!

Stefanie

Author's Response: Hi Stefanie! First and foremost, I'm sorry it has taken me so long to
get around to replying to this. I kind of slipped off the face of the Earth for a while and I feel bad I didn't respond sooner.

Thank you for taking the time to leave such an in depth review. This story was a bit of a struggle for me to write and to edit, so your positive comments mean a lot. I had no experience with slash and very little with Next Gen so this was a bit scary but you made me feel like I can tackle this sort of thing again in the future!

Thanks so much for your comments and taking the time to review. =)


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Review #5, by Beeezie Forest

11th June 2015:
Wow. This was so beyond adorable.

Personally, I'm a huge fan of both magizoology and queer girls/women, so I knew I was going to love this as soon as I started reading - and did I ever.

I loved the way you characterized Lily - the way she tripped over her own tongue in the beginning and ended up feeling super embarassed for asking Elia what year she was in felt so realistic to me - it was really a bit of an overreaction, which kids and teens tend to be known for. And, her ignorance about unicorns/unicorn foals was really endearing, especially since she'd snuck off to the Forbidden Forest in the first place.

And I understand the claustrophobia she hints at, too - I feel like the next-gen Wotter clan often gets portrayed as a big happy family, but I can absolutely see how it could get a little overbearing, and I'm glad you touched on that. It felt like a perfect justification for why rule-abiding Lily would wander into the Forbidden Forest.

And she was so taken with Elia so immediately - it was beyond adorable, and it seemed like Lily only got more enamored as the story went on. I could understand why, especially seeing Elia through Lily's eyes - she came across to me as someone who's got a really distinct view of the world and is happy to explore and experience the world on her own - which I think is really, really good for Lily, particularly given how big and loud her family can be.

I love that Elia made the first move - I was so hoping when you brought them back to the clearing and Lily was wondering why that this would be the result! This was so adorable and fluffy - I loved it. ♥

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Branwen! Thanks for reviewing this. Your positivity made me smile and was so nice to read. Since I am not a big Next Gen person and you obviously have it down pat, it was very encouraging to hear. I'm glad you liked the fluff! =)

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Review #6, by CaramelDiamant Forest

9th June 2015:
Heya Flower n Prongs :)

Sorry for the long wait, but here is my review on your lovely story!

First of all, I think it is amazingly cute with the odd bit here and there, giving it the mysterious flair that fits the banner quite well.

I love your description of the surrounding, never giving too much information, but rather focusing on small details like ‘crunching twigs’, which set free not only the seeing but also the hearing sense. You also scattered in some information on how the protagonists look (e.g. freckles) but, here as well, it was never overloaded for my taste, on the contrary it helped to imagine them a bit, at the same time leaving enough space to build up own pictures.

Even though my favourite parts were the internal monologues of Lily, I think you could play around with words more. For example she’s ‘trying to do something’ a lot of times. But, as I said, I loved them anyway: I feel that it’s really hard to give enough insight into characters in short stories, and given that I’m quite the fan of rhetorical questions, I thought the first person perspective was wisely chosen and used!

A big plus was the formatting of your story (I know, it seems silly to mention this) but because I had some difficulties in detecting where the time lapses were, the stars helped me to arrange the timeline on second reading. To stay on this topic: Having Lily and Elia meet in the forest and seeing them on different occasions throughout time was so sweet to read! The short and somehow random (but related to the overall theme) episodes make up the whole flair of your story; it feels like taking a glimpse through twigs and bushes that hide a clearing (of course thinking of the banner, too ;) ). Additionally, I loved how you formed your story circular, beginning and ending at the same place (as I’m also a nutter for first and last words, I think they match fantastically in your story. Especially the first sentence! Might just be in my top ten of the best matching intros I’ve read in the last few years).

Lastly, I want to talk about the development of Lily’s and Elia’s relationship: As I said before it was really cute, especially due to Lily’s shyness. In this regard I think it was best to Elia make the first step out of friendship and into something more. It fits well to her character, whereas Lily would probably be too self-conscious. So sorry to mention this, but there is a spelling mistake, I think it should read ‘Still grinning, I leaned forward…’ and the sentence second after this is a bit hard to read. Maybe rephrase that with cutting out one negation?

To put it in a nutshell, the fluffy but slightly mysterious atmosphere of your story captured me completely and I look forward to reading more of your stories!

Cheers,
Jo

Author's Response: First and foremost, I'm sorry that it has taken me a couple months to reply to this. *hangs head in shame* Thank you for taking the time to review in such detail and pointing out positives and negatives. The repetition will definitely be switched if I edit this! Thanks again! =)

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Review #7, by LadyL8 Forest

6th June 2015:
Hello :)

I'm sorry it's taken me a while to get here. I had some computer issues, that are hopefully fixed now. It just kept cutting my reviews, making the formatting strange etc. so I needed a staffer to look into it, but turns out it was my computer's fault. Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading this story. I've been stalking the Banner-challenge thread, because I thought so many of the entries looked so good. And this was one of them - I have wanted to read it for a while, but things have just kept getting in the way of it.

Wow. This was sooo good - flawless, really. I love how your story flows. It's amazing. And the description - god, I'm envious of your description. The pictures you paint are soo good, so well-described that I can picture it all happening in my head. And from the very first sentence of the story, you had my attention. I just loved how you wrote this, I'm not even sure I can properly convey how much I love it - it was just so beautiful.

I especially liked how you built the relationship. You see two strangers meet, become friends and there are already then hints of romantic feelings there. And then years pass and they're much older and closer, and you just start rooting for them even more - I really wanted them together, but I'm glad you took it slow. It made it better, actually, like we - the readers - were starting to love Elia more as Lily did - and then that ending... awww, the feels!

It's amazing that you got this out of a banner, but I'm glad you did. This is probably one of the better stories I've read lately, mostly because of how much description you have and the way the story flows. I liked that you didn't have the normal issues you often see when people write slash - What's my sexuality? What will parents think? etc. I don't think it's wrong to include that, but I loved that you just focused on the attraction/the feelings - because the biggest fear you have when in love, no matter what your sexuality is, is whether or not the person you like, likes you too. And it was great to see a story that just focuses on that :)

I loved it, and I'm glad I read it. It's going to get a favourite from me, because I think it was that beautiful. I'll be heading over to your MTA now, so you should visit it soon to see the questions I've left you. Thanks for writing this lovely piece - I wish I was half the writer you are, seriously. You're super-talented!

Hugs

Lotte

Author's Response: Lotte! ♥ I'm so sorry it took me nearl y a week to respond to this. I first saw it not long after you posted it, but I couldn't figure out to respond to such an awesome review right away.

I'm glad you like the flow! It took me a while to get this written and I wasn't sure how it was even at the end with the three different sections, so hearing this was very reassuring. All of the comments about the characterization and their romance were so wonderful.

I truly appreciate everything. This review really did make my day and I put it in the thread. Thank you for favouriting the story. =)


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Review #8, by tangledconstellations Forest

5th June 2015:
Heya! I'm reviewing for the BvB review battle >:)

~melts~

This was so, so beautiful! Honestly, this whole piece has taken my breath away, it was just so lovely to read. I love the idea of Lily being very rule-abiding but at the same time very curious, and I think you characterised her brilliantly here. Elia was really wonderful too - I love that she's quite fiery and to-the-point. I think you described their attraction really gently and subtly here, but in such a way that it did take precedence and was really satisfying to read.

I really liked the way you've picked a few moments here to elaborate on - it makes their relationship come across as really gentle and flowing, as though it's made up of so many smaller moments - which I guess is very true to real life! Even though the time in-between these snapshots is only really implied and we don't fully know what they've been up to, you've written it in such a way that it feels very full, if you know what I mean. I think because there was an immediate trusting magnetism in their first encounter it makes sense that they would continue to hang out. Not only that, I love that they've solidified their friendship first before sort of admitting they do like each other. In some ways it makes it feel more meaningful.

Your writing is so lovely, and I can't emphasise enough how much this piece flows! I really liked that things weren't brimming with details, but you've given just enough to capture the imagination. Also, I opened your banner up in a new tab and looked at it while I was reading - this story is just perfect for it! There are a couple of rogue typos/punctuation errors but I think a super quick once over would weed those out. The story itself, though, is perfect :)

I really, really enjoyed reading this! Thank you so much for sharing! :D ♥

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura! Thanks for stopping by for the BvB battle.

I'm glad you like this story. It was pretty different for me and it took ages to get written (a full two months, ugh) so it means a lot to hear that you think it turned out in the end.

The comments about the little moments was what I was going for. Often in stories you see the big events but life is made up of so many smaller things that are just as important, if not more so.

Thanks for the lovely review! =)


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Review #9, by Gabriella Hunter Forest

2nd June 2015:
HellO!

This is Gabbie from the forums dropping by with your review and I am so sorry for being late. I was staying up all night watching Attack on Titan the other day and my sleep schedule was way off, I'm still half alive at this point. Hahaha.

Anyway, I think that I really enjoyed this! I have read a few stories featuring Lily but none like this and I really think you have something special here. It didn't lean too heavily on the fact that this wasn't a typical pairing and I liked that you didn't write it that way either.

There were no conflicted feelings of the usual sort (What will my parents think? What am I doing? Kind of confusion.) This is foremost a story about two friends becoming something much more and I love that you focused on that, it made their relationship all the more authentic.

I think what I liked the most about this was Lily's attraction to Elia. There was a moment when she was being lured to the Forest that really struck me as fascinating--we've all had that moment when we're simply pushed towards someone or something. It's strange, but I could totally relate to that and I think that meeting someone in such an unconventional way creates a sense of fantasy that we don't really get too often.

Also, baby unicorns are cute! >__<

I liked the progression of time that you included here too. Lily's personality shifted so subtly towards the end and I enjoyed how much she and Elia began to develop feelings for one another. I thought the ending was adorable as well, Elia was just as shy about her feelings for Lily as she was! I would recommend adding more to this if you haven't thought of it already.

As for CC's, you've got some missing commas here and there. Some of your sentences have become run-ons so you can clean those up without much fuss. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie! No worries about the length of time it took to review this, you're still a very fast reviewer and so generous for doing all of this. =)

Thank you for such a sweet review. I realized after requesting it that you said you don't read slash much so I'm glad you still enjoyed it. It took me a long time to write in part because of the fact that Lily changed so much in it so it means a lot to hear about how you liked the progression in their relationship.

Thanks for the comma notes (ugh!) and yes, baby unicorns are adorable. ♥


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Review #10, by Katie Wallenby Forest

30th May 2015:
Hello again! I saw that this story was a very recent addition and decided I should resume my journey here.

The first thing that struck me about this story was what a masterful job you did handling a youthful protagonist. Quite often when I'm reading I encounter people writing younger characters and find them displaying an inexplicably extensive vocabulary and/or uncharacteristic certainty in themselves, their abilities and their identities when in reality this isn't so at their age. You didn't do that. The beginning of the story, much like the characters at that time was entirely innocent (more on that later). As things progressed, you dealt well with Lily's realization (or internal handling) of her attraction to her Elia. Then - and only in the end - did you bring it to fruition - and not with some soaring, confident actions or declarations, but with the nervousness appropriate to the age and the moment. Wonderfully done.

I said I'd come back to the innocence of the opening scenes too and more so than even the characterization, I thought the use of the unicorns to further emphasize the point was very well done (matching the youthfulness being even better still).

The only thing I noticed you might tweak was that in the middle you used 'forth' where I believe you meant 'fourth', but that's obviously a minor matter.

Thanks so much for sharing this delightful story!

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for leaving me my first review on this story. I appreciated all your comments about her maturing as the story progressed. I tried to develop her from a 12 year old to a young woman so I'm glad it came across well.

Thanks for pointing out the typo, that slipped by me (and it's such an obvious mistake!). Thanks again. =)


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