Reading Reviews for Flung Salt
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 an absence

10th July 2014:
Oh dear. This gave me the sad feels. :/

I hate it for Lavender that her funeral should have been on a rainy day instead of a sunny day like she wanted. The memory of her, so optimistic and happy, is in contrast to Parvati's character throughout the story collection. Parvati's innocence has been tainted by the war and life after the war, but Lavender's innocence still remains.

I also liked how this chapter was about saying goodbye to an old friend and saying hello to a new one. In this way, friendship carries on. :)

Such an excellent collection of stories. I like how they were all connected by Parvati's grief after the war. You used the elements of the poem to great effect in this!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #2, by UnluckyStar57 a single gesture

10th July 2014:
Ooh, the Forbidden Forest in the midst of so much death and dying. It's positively fitting that she should see a thestral. I don't know much about Parvati, but in this story collection (so far), she seems like she's taken the war and the death in the worst way possible--and who can blame her? Her best friend, Lavender, is dead. That's really awful, and seeing the thestral--an "omen of death," as Professor Trelawney told her--was sort of the icing on the deathly cake. But thestrals aren't actually harbingers of death, and the interaction between Parvati and the thestral showed her that things might be okay. :)

I am still in awe of your lovely way with words.

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #3, by UnluckyStar57 sargasso sea

10th July 2014:
This was so deep. Really, your writing style is just incredible. I love how you packed so much meaning into not a whole lot of words. :)

Parvati seems like she's drifting in this time after the war. She doesn't know what to do; her future is uncertain. And the dreams show that she really fears it. The dreams are interesting, because you mixed in elements of dream-craziness in with the underlying theme of Parvati's fear.

But it seems that she's finally accepted the uncertainty of the future in that last dream when she's talking to her sister. Is Padma dead? :(

Brilliant first chapter! I'm reading on. :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #4, by evil little devil an absence

10th July 2014:
This brought tears to my eye.
"Parvatiís own dress smells slightly strange Ė dusty, musty, like four funerals all in the same week." - this phrase was like a punch in the stomach. It really highlighted so poignantly just how much loss all of these characters have to deal with following the war.
And this - "Iím not crying, she thinks. It must be the rain. If rain was salty. If the ocean inhabited the sky." - this was so beautiful.
I mean, all of this was beautiful. Again, you've managed to fit so many emotions all into this story, and write them in such a way that they were almost palpable.
I don't know how you managed to make this collection feel so coherent, each story tied on so well from the other - and yet you still fulfilled all the prompts.
I'm really glad there was a shimmer of hope at the end for Parvati. She's been through so much, she really does deserve it.

- House Cup 2014 Review.

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Review #5, by evil little devil a single gesture

10th July 2014:
"Her heart thrums in her ribcage, a pair of insect wings." - This is just such amazing imagery. Just wow.
I am in love with your writing style. You paint such a vivid picture, and create such beautiful imagery. To have someone who's just seen so much death run off and then be confronted with it so boldly in the face yet again by a thestral - that was so well done. And I love the fact that instead of becoming more panicked, or upset, she finds companionship with it - because they are both united in death.
This was just so lovely! It was an absolute delight to read :)

- House Cup 2014 Review.

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Review #6, by evil little devil sargasso sea

10th July 2014:
This was so beautifully written, and I really love that you chose to write about Parvati. Minor character explorations are one of my favourite thing, and she's a character you get to see nearly enough of.
This was so short, but you managed to fit so many emotions in, it's really incredible. You took her on such a large journey in such a short amount of words.
The ending was lovely as well - the way she simply just said "on" - because sometimes, knowing you can go on even if you don't know the details is enough.
This was really beautiful, I really enjoyed it :)

- House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #7, by nott theodore an absence

10th July 2014:
Hello again!

I've really enjoyed reading this short story collection and I'm impressed with the way that you managed to come up with something like this which links so well together and flows, yet is still fulfilling each prompt from the task. It's really great!

I felt so sorry for Parvati in this chapter. I prefer the book canon when we don't know whether or not Lavender did die but reading about her funeral was so sad. I really liked the way that you used it as an opportunity to look back on their friendship, though, and explore the things that they used to do together and the things they'd said to each other. I liked the mention of how many times the dress had been washed, showing how many funerals she's had to go to recently, and the effects of the war. The list of things they'd been going to do after the war was touching to hear about but I loved the ending, and the hint of hope for Parvati after all of this!

Sian :)
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Review #8, by nott theodore a single gesture

10th July 2014:
Hello again!

Wow, what a way to start a chapter. I liked the fact that you opened it so bluntly, so matter-of-factly, and I thought it was really effective. I loved the way that you contrasted the statement 'Voldemort is dead', which should bring joy and happiness as it signals the end of the war, with those that followed it, about all the people who'd been lost in the process. The only part of CC I have here is that I'm not sure Remus and Tonks especially would have been deaths that stuck in Parvati's mind as much as others.

Other than that, it was beautifully written. Again, the description in this piece was lovely and I liked the way that you wrote about Parvati's encounter with the Thestral - and the mention of Trelawney included there - and the fact that they were almost like companions because of the suffering they had both witnessed. It was quite sad to read, especially with all the deaths, but a lovely chapter!

Sian :)
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Review #9, by nott theodore sargasso sea

10th July 2014:
Hi there!

This was a great chapter! I liked the fact that you've chosen to write about Parvati because she's not a character who's often found in fanfiction, especially when it's at this period, with the war yet to come. I liked the way that you built up into the story, listing the different things that Parvati fears and some of them being recognisable from the book in third year, when they faced the Boggart.

I wonder, are these nightmares visions - or warnings, at least - of the future? Something which tells her that war is coming, because they begin in fourth year. I liked the way that you wrote the nightmares and transitioned in between them, as I think that was very effective. Your style was lovely and the description was beautiful here as well. Great job!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #10, by randomwriter an absence

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again :) I'm here to review the final installment of this story. It's been quite a nice journey, I must say! I'm a little ashamed that I haven't had the chance to read more of your work, actually.

I loved this chapter. As always, you've captured the essence of the prompt in an understated manner. I like how it isn't really obvious. Most stories for this prompt focus on the friendship. I like how you focused on the process of embarking on a new friendship. Not even the process, actually. Just the first step. It's usually the hardest step to take, and you've written it in such a sweet way. Hope shines through beautifully in the end :)

I must admit that Lavender is far from my favourite. I like Parvati though. Lavender is usually so superficial and frivolous, but you've taken those qualities and added substance to her character. I really enjoyed that. The stuff she said about funerals, and celebrating life was beautiful. It put a smile on my face :)

All in all, it's been great! Reading this story. I really enjoyed it. Great work! :)

P.S- I'm sorry about the quality of these reviews. I'm trying to be speedy so that I can get more done :p

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Review #11, by randomwriter sargasso sea

9th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

Hello :) I read this earlier, but I reviewed your second chapter first because it fit the Decree. Sorry for getting it out of order :p

As for this chapter, I love the way you've interpreted the prompt and written it in such a simplistic and subtle way. The description of the dreams were truly chilling. You've really made all these things sound so horrible. I like how you connected the first mention of all her fears to her dreams. It somehow makes reading about them more horrific than they otherwise would have been.

The introductory paragraphs was so lovely. I find her coping mechanism realistic as this is how most of us would deal with our problems- by avoiding them. It's unhealthy, yes. But it's the sad truth. As for chai, there's not much it can't solve. ;)

My favourite part was possibly the last bit. I love how just that little part displays so much hope. I love the dialogue and the word 'on' suddenly carries so much meaning here.

This is some great stuff and I love your writing so much! I'm glad I got a chance to come across your work because of the House Cup :)

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Review #12, by randomwriter a single gesture

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello! :)

I've recently become really interested in reading stories about Parvati. Especially post war ones. I love how you started this story off, talking about their deaths. It's so sad, but at the same time it gives us an insight into her thoughts at that particular moment. Then, with all the running and everything, you took us deeper into her mind. I love how it was a natural extension of what she was feeling first. Then the last part just put a smile on my face. The love the last two lines, it shows us how the two are linked with something that nobody ever have thought was strong enough to create a bond- death. Great one-shot :) I really enjoyed it.

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Review #13, by ohmymerlin an absence

8th July 2014:
Hello once more!

Oh wow, this was an emotional chapter! I felt so sorry for Parvati! She lost her best friend and they didn't even get to have the funeral Lavender would have wanted :( And I liked that they were making daisy chains together. It just seems so THEM and I could really imagine them sitting out in the grounds in the warm sun lazing about :') It's sad that they won't be able to do that though! D':

Oh, the scene with her running out of the church was just so emotional and sad :( I felt so sorry for her. I just wanted to give her a hug! D:

Again, your descriptions are just flawless. You've got an amazing talent! And random question, are you a graphics-y person (clearly I am not) because from the way you write it seems like you are. Especially when you describe colours or the surroundings, it just seems very graphic-y!

This was a wonderful short story collection! I think you definitely grasped Parvati's personality perfectly! This was an amazing job! ♥

10/10

- Kayla :)

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Review #14, by ohmymerlin sargasso sea

8th July 2014:
Hello again! Ooh, this was interesting! I love the way you described everything and although I generally hate when authors are vague, I really liked this sense of vagueness! It was a bit confusing but it suited the story so well!

I really, really, reaaally loved the image of Dumbledore rubbing sunscreen into his beard. That may have been the best part of this one-shot, hahaha!

Jokes, the best part of this one-shot was definitely the descriptions! Absolutely loved them! I really loved the way you described the fourth dream with all those colours! It was such a vivid image and it just seemed a bit apocalypse-y (I know that isn't a word shhh) so is it meant to be foretelling the war?

Anyway, this was a brilliant one-shot! 10/10 ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #15, by ohmymerlin a single gesture

8th July 2014:
Hello!

Oh, this was so beautiful and touching! I just adore how you started this off. It was such a blunt way of starting it but it just did its job :)

And the descriptions you wrote were magnificent. I loved how you described the thestral, it was such a nice way and Parvati's apprehension at first was very well written! But then it was so lovely to see that she eventually came to like (?) it, and even gave it a little bit of food -- how sweet!

I absolutely LOVED that last line! It was a great way to end such a wonderful story! ♥

10/10

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review Decree #4

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Review #16, by HarrietHopkirk an absence

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

Again, your writing style is just lovely! I love how you incorporated the flashback, how Lavender would want her own funeral, and Parvati staying how it should be sad... BECAUSE IT IS I'M SAD THIS IS SAD!

But your mentions of other funerals, of all the funerals Parvati would go to, how she wears the same black dress - that bit was especially sad, I think. That would be just awful! And the description of her grief as being simply empty - spot on!

The only issue I have with this short story is the last section of this chapter: I'm not sure I find her random babble believable, but then again, it is your interpretation of her character. I enjoyed the introduction of Seamus though.

Other than that, I'm really happy - and a bit sad - that I read this and listened to patronus-charm's recommendation. This is a stellar read. Well done and thank you for writing it!

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Review #17, by HarrietHopkirk a single gesture

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

I like this lots and lots and lots! Very much so! A whole bunch! I've explained why I like Parvati and Lavender stories so much, but this is something else! The calm of the forest compared to the battle is beautifully described, and how Parvati remembers memories and lessons despite going through a big shock seems realistic.

A lot of people chose thestrals for their House Cup Event 3 entry, and I understand why: the mystery of them, what they represent etc - but I love what you've done here, how you've described the scene and Parvati's actions and reactions. It's testament to your writing that the image of the forest and thestral still lingers.

She overcomes the shock of seeing what must have been a pretty scary creature by being nice to it, and feeding it an apple. I think that speaks volumes for Parvati and her character, when she must be feeling so lost after the death of her closest friend and so many others.

Overall, this is beautifully written and I really enjoyed reading it, despite the melancholy tone. On to the next chapter!

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Review #18, by HarrietHopkirk sargasso sea

7th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

This is oddly moving. I really like reading realistic fic about the giggly girly girls, Lavender and Parvati. They often get a very raw deal, especially because they (especially Lavender) get in the way of people's special ships and such. We've got to remember that they went through the war too, and are people in their own right - and it's fics like these that do them justice.

You have a really nice writing style - the flow, the rhythm, the sentence structure and word choice all really works. Your characterizations are nice, too. I can't help but laugh at Dumbledore being there, but then the tone is flipped on itself as Parvati drowns and the tone becomes darker and colder: The water churns unto itself, and slimy tendrils snake around to grasp her ankles, hauling her under. A feast, she thinks, in a split second of absurdity, hadnít there been a feast? before the world turns squid-ink black and the sea rushes in to muffle her ears. I particularly like this bit.

I love the optimistic ending - I can't help but root for Parvati! Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter and will move onto the next one!

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Review #19, by patronus_charm an absence

7th July 2014:
Hi again!

Ok, I think this chapter actually brought me to tears as Parvatiís emotion was so raw and so real I just didnít know what to do with myself really. I think what hurt the most was the fact she knew what Lavender really wanted for her funeral, she knew what would have made it perfect but it just didnít seem to be going that way and it was just so sad to see that her final wishes couldnít be respected.

This line ĎParvatiís own dress smells slightly strange Ė dusty, musty, like four funerals all in the same week.í Wah, so, so, so good and lovely imagery and description throughout like the other chapters before this!

Parvatiís speech to Seamus was so moving and touching that was what did it for me, because it was only then she could pour out her grief and let rip to someone about how she felt, which showed a different side to her grief after the last chapter. I really liked the feeling of hope though with having Seamus as a new friend, as it was so touching and sweet and left the story on a slightly lighter note.

I really enjoyed this short story collection as it was just such a different yet interesting read! ♥

-Kiana
House Cup 2014 Review!

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Review #20, by patronus_charm a single gesture

7th July 2014:
Hi again!


This seemed to be a chapter of contrasts and I really loved it! You started off almost bluntly with the way you just listed the names of the death, which worked really well as it showed what their life was reduced down to at the end of it, but by the end of it was much more flowy and magical, and I really liked that difference in style as it worked so well together.

The use of a thestral was a really good one too, because even though you described it with sort of guts and gore, and that it was attracted to blood which should have given Parvati bad memories after the battle, it actually gave her peace which was another contrast in this story but it worked so well and just gave it a magical sort of element.

Your descriptions in here were fab again but I especially loved this line Ďa drop of dew hangs on its end, heavy and pregnant,í so lovely, and a great second chapter!

-Kiana
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Review #21, by patronus_charm sargasso sea

7th July 2014:
Hi

Wow, I really loved this insight into Parvatiís mind because sheís one I often wonder about but never really feel as if I know her whereas this story shed a new light on her so I really enjoyed reading this. I think what really worked for me was the way you continually tied it in with the land of dreams, and how we canít always understand what works there and it just let this be so much more abstract and made it work which was really cool.

The way you showed each nightmare and the transition from one to another was really good, because even though seemed to be minor things in a way, they were much more than that in this story as Parvati seemed to be affected by them so deeply, the reader began to be affected too.

Your style worked so well here too, as it was so simple yet conveyed so much and was just so pretty to read and I really loved it! :D

-Kiana
House Cup 2014 Review!

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Review #22, by DracoFerret11 an absence

7th July 2014:
Hello there! This is DarkRose here to read the last chapter! Great job submitting three entries! That's awesome! So, let's go over things:

First off, when there are lines in stories that I really love I like to mention them to the author. That's the case here: "Parvati's own dress smells slightly strange Ė dusty, musty, like four funerals all in the same week." That was absolutely heart-wrenching, and it won this story's place as my favorite of your three. Beautiful.

Plot: This story makes a lot of sense. The post-war period has funerals, and those funerals change people. I loved reading this, to be honest. The raw emotions that came through the page were so lovely. That line I mentioned above tore at my heart. You've once again done a fantastic job of showing Parvati's character. Well done!

Characterization: Parvati was so realistic here. I could completely understand how burned out she would feel after so many funerals and so many goodbyes. When she snapped and had to run outside, I could see that happening.

Descriptions: I wish there had been more details about the way she'd run out--did she stumble? Was the rain cold? Were her knees shaking? And outside--was anyone else there? What were her surroundings like? Etc.

Emotions: Again, this was the forte of this story. You did an amazing job. Post-war stories are becoming some of my favorite. I'm considering writing one myself, and I only hope that I can do the emotions justice.

Interactions: I loved Seamus coming to her at the end. That was unexpected, but it still fit. I wonder how this story relates to the prompt, though, since Parvati's friend is dead and Seamus isn't yet close enough to her to be considered a friend. I suppose it still makes sense, but it left me wondering a bit.

Overall, I really liked this. It was my favorite of your three entries and I think you wrote very well here. Great job! 'Claws for the Cup!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #23, by DracoFerret11 a single gesture

7th July 2014:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums again. So, let's go over things:

Plot: I've read so many thestral stories today. :) This one was quite nice, just as many of them have been. Again, I like that you've chosen to write about Parvati. She's not a common character, and I'm fond of that. I also liked how this chapter started. I could feel the anguish in knowing that good people had died in the battle. The moment she arrived at the forest was quite nice as well. That hesitation was very realistic. The only thing I wasn't so sure about was how she "created" an apple, since that's magically impossible. So maybe explain that a bit. :)

Characterization & Emotions: Again, I really liked Parvati. I think you captured her emotions very well and portrayed them in a very realistic way. I wish I could feel more of the sorrow in this story, but I did get some sadness, plus confusion and bit of wariness. Something else you might mention is how the Divination textbook was wrong about what thestrals signify, since without mentioning that, the story seems to imply that the thestral encounter is negative.

Descriptions: I liked the details you added about the forest and how things sounded, though I wasn't sure what the howling sound was supposed to be since thestrals surely don't howl. I liked the mentions of how the grass and trees looked. Well done.

Interactions: The moment between Parvati and the thestral was really sweet. I liked that there was still some uncertainty in it. I think that made it more realistic for me. But I liked that they were united for a moment.

Overall, good job! I'll read the last chapter soon! Well done and 'Claws for the Cup!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #24, by DracoFerret11 sargasso sea

7th July 2014:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you for the House Cup 2014! :D So, let's go over things:

Plot: This was an interesting story! I liked reading about Parvati since I normally don't see stories that feature her. You did a good job describing her nightmares and working through her struggles. I liked how she overcame them at the end of the story. I loved how all she said she was going to do after the war was that she was going "On." Great line.

Characterization: I think you did a good job forming Parvati's character. I wonder why her nightmares started after fourth year. I assume because that's when Voldemort came back. I do wonder about the significance of her nightmares, though. Like...they should have a basis in something like lack of control, but I couldn't place put my finger on it.

Descriptions: I liked that I could see each of the nightmares very vividly. The one with Dumbledore really stands out. You did a great job showing that scene, and it really seemed like a dream with such odd things happening. I couldn't see the other dreams quite as well, so maybe adding more details about how things look, sound, smell, feel, etc. could help make those come to life more.

Emotions: I could feel Parvati's fear, and I really liked the end scene when I could see that she was going to move on and get better. I think that really fulfilled the prompt. Great job!

Overall, I think this was well-written and I'm glad I read it. I'll do the other chapters in a few minutes. Well done! 'Claws for the Cup!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #25, by maskedmuggle an absence

6th July 2014:
Hey!

Ah, I can't even deal with how incredible these three stories all were. I'm just sitting here feeling so many emotions right now.. this was truly another incredible story, and I can't get over how all three stories just link and go together so, so well, while at the same time are able to stand alone as amazing pieces in their own right. I'm sure you can probably tell, but I loved this story as well, despite how sad and tragic it was. You definitely really strongly and vividly depicted the emotions Parvati was feeling and transferred them to me, the reader.

Your writing is phenomenal, seriously. There were so many beautiful lines in this that if I quoted each one I loved it would pretty much just be the entire story. From the beginning to the end it was utterly compelling. Parvati's memories of how Lavender would've liked her wedding was heartbreaking.. and I really liked the point about how funerals are selfish and that we should instead celebrate their life. I found that really interesting since I've never, ever thought about it that way and it's so amazing to see something in a different light. Honestly, I am absolutely in love with all three stories and I think you are an absolutely brilliant writer. I definitely don't think I'm doing you justice as I can't express how much I am in awe right now of how amazing all three stories were!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

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