Reading Reviews for When Everything Changes
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MiaBellaBoo And so it begins

16th October 2014:
Love this story! Hope a new chapter will be up soon!

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Review #2, by amuggle_ephemeral_tale And so it begins

16th August 2014:
I love the way you portray the character, no nonsense and straight to the point. The emotions are there but not over-played and you don't beat around the bush for the plot, it stand on its own.

Please do keep writing, can't wait to find out how this plays out.

Author's Response: Thanks. I'm a pretty straight forward person, and I wanted to make this story fast-paced. Hopefully I can bust out another chapter soon!

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Review #3, by razorlight. And so it begins

13th August 2014:
An update was exactly what I needed after these very tiring couple of days and four hours of driving a car, thank you :)
Dee really grew on me, you made an amazing character there. And I have to say I didn't expect that to happen.
x Tina

Author's Response: Thank you. Dee is definitely my favorite character. It kind of sucked having her become the victim. Glad I was able to make your day a little bit better!

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Review #4, by BellatrixLover3 And so it begins

12th August 2014:
I like it the story is 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #5, by razorlight. Playing Games

31st July 2014:
I kind of read 'People Change'in one go and then I found out you were doing a sequel, so I'm reading this as well and I'm absolutely excited about it.
Although you say it is harder to write for you than 'People Change', I can assure it can not be seen between the lines. You're doing are really good job.
Looking forward to reading more
X Tina

Author's Response: Thank you, high praise!! I am having a harder time writing this, but I'm glad it's still readable. I hope you continue to enjoy the sequel!

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Review #6, by oldershouldknowbetter The Truth

24th July 2014:
So we are finally privy to Rose's POV.

She's a little upset at her reception, well what did she expect? But it turns out for the best. I hate to throw any criticism against something I'm enjoying so much but I thought the stuff with her mum was just a little bit forced - going from possible hatred to distrust to love and acceptance so quickly. There wasn't much else you could do, you had to move on past this point and it wouldn't have served your stories purpose to have Hermione hating/resenting her daughter. Dee's accusations and all - maybe it was because the scene was over too quickly, but again if this scene was to be over-long that would have been too much of a dead patch in the story; especially with the repeat of the scene in front of everyone to come. It's a small niggle and I've already blown my slight disquiet out of proportion by talking about it too much.

The wandless spell craft is put on the back-burner for now. It makes sense - Rose is feeling far too much emotion to not be a potential danger - but, it is also good for the story. For something this interesting and unusual it deserves a much better setting story-wise. It would be wasted revealing it on a small piece of inconsequential magic in her parent's lounge room. No, it should be revealed in far more dramatic circumstances. We are given some information and are satisfied enough for now, knowing we will see more later on.

So if the last two chapters were introduction, then this chapter is tying up loose ends and in some ways drawing a line under the past so that it doesn't encumber the necessary events of the story to come. Of course anything vital from the old story could creep in when and where it is needed.

So we catch up on Albus' proposal to Dee. Sweet, lovely all that it should be; a good throwback to the events of the first story. Dee makes a relevant point though, that they have all moved on. Rose acknowledges the necessity of them having to do so but hates that she had to miss it.

She first catches up with Dee's and Alec's stories and what they are doing now. Later on we get to see a snapshot of what everyone's done/become just to set the stage for us. And everyone's place makes sense. Not everything turned up roses from the first story for everyone, but mostly all the characters from the first story are about where they should be at this stage in their lives.

Before we get to that though, James barges in; impetuous, headstrong still a forceful personality. He had such a defining character vector in the first story. His dislike for the Slytherins and thence Rose's friendship with them was the impetus behind a major plot thrust of the previous story. It does not matter if he is sidelined here on in (it actually might be safer for him, his wife and his yet-to-be-born child) we see from this he still has all his fire.

Rose wants to talk to Scorpius and even though he is yearning, desperate to talk more, he doesn't. He suppresses his desire to know more for the sake of family.

Her Uncle helps Rose to begin because she is scared to do so. He relates the events of the attack upon her person by Damian. From his and Rose's words I can't help but feel that she should have been able to take him down then and there, except for two things. One is, of course, had she done so there wouldn't have been a need for more story - 'Hi all. Just defeated Damian, I'm back from my self-imposed exile. The End.'
The second thing is that we get the feeling that Rose is not telling us everything.

I don't know though, maybe there is no more to it. If that is the case, we can see that you had to have had some way in which Damian attacked Rose, was defeated, but not trounced, because he has to be left in such a state that he is clearly still a threat (so he couldn't have been too seriously injured or incapacitated).

I like that she has kept the letter, I was hoping she had done so. It is a good device to keep her 'focused' but also it is proof of her good intentions in leaving so abruptly. When she asks of them, 'wouldn't you have done the same?' I don't think all of them would have left, but I think they would all have wanted the bravery (that Rose had) to do so. This is the third, or even fourth time you've done basically the same scene but it is a mark of your storytelling that it is not stale at all. Each time that the scene was played out there was not only a different audience but also a different purpose behind the scene and what you wanted to achieve with it.

So after Rose's tale, after we find out where everyone is at and after everyone on the peripheries leaves; we are left with the planning 'Good, we need to know some of the 'rules' that this game is going to be played under. Because the reader surely has the feeling that with this chapter we see all the pieces lined up and put into position to start, from the pawns all the way up to the Queen herself, Rose. And the thing we are all asking ourselves is - which piece will fall first? Which family member, which friend will be the first target of Damian and more importantly, will they survive the encounter? This story has the possibility of going very dark very quickly. We all hope not, but methinks there will be some darkness ahead before we reach the light at the end.

Scorpius and Rose finally have their talk. As we all knew would happen, Scorpius forgives her in a heart beat. She is cut up about how much she's hurt him and even though he agrees he was hurt he is far gladder that she is here and alive and with him. He leans in for The Kiss and ...

SHE SAYS SHE CAN'T !!

AARRRGGGHHH

The cliffhangers up till now have left us wanting more; this one leaves us desperate for more. Why can't she, WHY? She wanted his return to her when she was speaking to Dee earlier in the chapter so why not now? Hopefully it is just some 'I'm-not-ready-yet' or some such which can be easily put aside. Whatever the reason, we eagerly await the next chapter.

Author's Response: The next chapter is in the queue! Woo!
So the beginning was horrible to write and very forced. You're criticism is spot on and I agree with you.
The wandless magic is put on the back burner because it has to be dramatic! There's no other way to do it.
I hated having to repeat the story, but I'm glad that I was able to do it differently each time. Now everyone knows!
This story is about to get dark, but first Damian is going to play some games. Also, I'll delve more into Rose and Damian's big fight. There will definitely be darkness before the light.
The end of this chapter...I love a good cliffie and this one was evil. It's all explained in the next chapter though and hopefully it's a good reason.
Again, I love your reviews!!


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Review #7, by oldershouldknowbetter Four Years

16th July 2014:
So, as Rose is now standing in front of him, from the questions I asked of Scorpius last review:-
Does he harbour some resentment, probably,
- definitely yes, and
but would he take her back, almost certainly.
- in a heartbeat.

She orders him around in his own home, she breaks into the ministry and steals his personal file, she even runs away from him again - yet he still pursues her and tackles her and ... well and loves her too much and basically (deep down) forgives her. I like how, even though this chapter is from his perspective, he is not honest with himself and we are privy to it. He says/thinks 'I'm still angry' and 'I'll forgive her later', but his actions throughout the entire chapter tell a different story.

Rose runs again, but secretly she wants to be chased. She is tired of being on the run and being pursued by the wrong person. She wants to come back, wants her friends and family back, but she dreads it. I think it is why she came to Scorpius first - she subconsciously knows that he will accept and forgive her first and quicker than anyone else but more importantly will help her and be able to help her. I like the little flashes of the old Rose that pop up every now and then. She has changed and become more cynical and tougher and etc, but she is still fundamentally the same loving and talented Rose somewhere underneath. If she can finally defeat Damian, hopefully all she will have truly lost will have been a few years away from those she loves.

So they head over to Dee and Albus' place.

Albus accepts and forgives her instantly, a good and happy sign for Rose because she must have dreaded that her family would reject her the way she seemingly rejected them.

Dee doesn't so much. She needs answers and explanations and maybe time. I like the interactions with Dee in this chapter. We see how she has grown and changed since the end of the last story. She is fundamentally the same - and I chose my words with care she still is slightly mental (noting her desire to change the wedding colours) - but she has matured. It is good subtle characterisation.

Rose explains what she has been doing and more importantly, for those assembled, why. It's a brief explanation and it well written - no excess hyperbole or too much emotion, just wonderfully subtlety done.

Langston appears though and throws a spanner into the works. She is a secondary character but the strength of the characterisation you have put into her construction is excellent. She doesn't feel disposable or two dimensional. She is analytical and cool and smart and capable and ... angry at Rose's return. She has had to compete for Scorpius' attentions/affections with the mere ghost of a memory of Rose - now that the real thing is back she knows she has no hope. That she is nice to her and lovely and beautiful is just a body blow and she has to get out of there. I hate to say it, but there just may be the possibility of a mauve shirt in her future.

Rose understands how she feels - she has had a lot of real world experience - and she suspected her return would be a dislocation to some. Especially any potential girlfriends of Scorpius. Oh how she secretly hoped though there weren't any actual ones.

But Langston's arrival does force them all to head over to her Parent's house.

I've seen Ron and Hermione written so differently in these Rose/Scorpius fan fictions I never know which one will be the forgiving one and which one will be the stern one. From last chapter, where we saw Ron's interactions with Scorpius, we should have suspected Ron would be the one to envelop Rose in a hug.

Hermione though asks the pertinent questions:
Why did she go,
- we already know.
and, Why return now?

This is what we all want to know. Scorpius touched upon it at the beginning of the chapter, but Rose was vague in her response.

She replies that she is now ready and he doesn't scare her anymore. Good, but that's not enough. He dad can tell and asks what is different and Rose drops the bombshell -

- she hardly ever uses a wand anymore.

dum dum daa!

Again you end it on a high note leaving us clamouring for the next chapter. I don't think it so bad/wrong/outlandish a plot element to have Rose be able to use magic without a wand. It's not so unusual, after all House Elves do it all the time. You set it up nicely in the previous story to show that she was different in her magical abilities and this is just a natural progression.

Author's Response: And I love how you delve into every aspect of the chapter! It's really a joy reading your reviews.
Rose is such a complex character for me to write and I think that's why this story is a lot harder for me then my last one. Young and naive Rose is so much easier where older and more experienced Rose is becoming difficult. I must admit that I love older Scorpius. He's exactly who I want him to be. And you're right, he does love her.
Dee is still one of my favorite characters so I like to make her a little mental, but not quite as crazy as she was in school. Also, Albus is still the same sweet guy and I doubt that'll change.
Langston is everything that you just described. She's confident and knows what she wants. She also has a temper, one that rivals Dee's.
Ron and Hermione to me are also hard to write because they're canon characters and I'm no Rowling (obviously). But I love Ron and hate how some writers portray him in fanfiction as this overly prejudice, stupid oaf. Yes, he has a temper and judges too quickly but to me, I like to think Hermione knocks some sense in him and he realizes he's being an idiot. The reason I made him like Scorpius so much is because Ron loves his daughter therefore he can accept anyone that appreciates how special she is, example: Scorpius. That's just my own personal take on his character.
Looking forward to your next review, hopefully I can get the next chapter of this up by the weekend.


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Review #8, by Paddlewaddle The Truth

15th July 2014:
THE SEQUEL IS FINALLY HERE!!! YAY. I'm eager to get to the thick of the plot but I love that we are slowly being reintroduced to some of the extended family. I'd really love to know how integrated Scorpius became into the Wotter family after Rose left. It is kind of heartbreaking that everyone did grow up and moved on with out her - they never forgot her of course, but life had to go on and she missed such a big part of everyone's lives.

And the final scene in this chapter broke my heart. Why can't she? DID SHE FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE? We don't quite find out what she actually did while on the run - did she fall in love again? or she can't kiss him because until Damian is caught? Eager for next chapter! :D

Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying the sequel. I wanted to jump right into the plot, but background stuff is sort of important. The next chapter should be up by next week. Looking forward to posting it!
You'll also learn why she can't kiss him just yet.


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Review #9, by oldershouldknowbetter Auror Business

25th June 2014:
... aannndd we hit the ground running.

It's off to a cracking start, you promised us drama and action and you deliver.

It seemed to me a bit too they-will-win-despite-the-odds when it was first mentioned that it was 12 to 6 but Scorpius' comments ameliorate the too-good-to-be-true nature of the situation.
QUOTE: "Luckily, we're trained in these situations while the others aren't. I have a feeling some didn't even finish school."

I also like his other comment - "Duane Sark is already behind here, shouting stunners at the criminals." So many of the wizard/Auror battles we read (or see on you-tube) have all the combatants casting non-verbal spells. If Scorpius is leading this group, then it must be a fairly young one and it's good to see that some at least have to still say-the-words. You get the impression though that Scorpius (and probably Dee and Langston) at least can use non-verbal spells. It's a nice touch.

The action is well directed, as fast paced as it should be and is easy to follow - three things essential to writing action that not all writers can manage. You do get the feeling these were small fry but it was still six against twelve. That Harry and Ron were summoned so quickly to the scene speaks to the cavalry being only a quick call away.

The end of the scene is good solid character development stuff for Scorpius and it's exactly how we readers (or at least me) wanted him to be. It's still early days for him in the Auror business - out of training and quickly proving himself capable. Dee's still with him and has his back and is still her old self, but you get the feeling she might have mellowed slightly (only slightly mind). He is on very good terms with Ron, having proved himself to him in the last story - even though Rose isn't on the scene. I like the way you didn't carry on the enmity between the families. You could have, especially with Rose's 'disappearance' (Ron/etc could have blamed it on him), but you explored the enmity in the last story and brought it to a reasonable and believable conclusion. If you want to streamline this sequel then it's an unnecessary distraction from the main thrust of the plot.

The second half of the chapter is plot development and here we begin to see the main thrust for the story - probably the hunt for Damian and evasion of his likely reprisals.

From the first half, we could see that Langston could have been a possibility for Scorpius. And we see here that it was a possibility entered into not only by us but characters from the story as well. Scorpius though shoots this down in his thoughts and, even though he doesn't out and out say it, there is still only one girl for him.

In the news Dee has for him there is even a hint of possible news about Rose and this fires up Scorpius. Yes, there still is only one girl for him. Though when he says :-
QUOTE : "She too had stayed under the radar after she left "to go find herself" four and half years ago. I can hardly believe she left her entire family for a pathetic reason like that."
it is not really clear what Scorpius thinks of Rose's reasons for leaving. Does he harbour some resentment, probably, but would he take her back, almost certainly.

and then ...

dun dun dum

Rose returns, looking stunning - according to Scorpius anyway - and the plot begins.

Author's Response: It's true about hitting the ground running in this one. I felt with my first story, it was slow to start out and I think sequels need to get right to the point.
Scorpius really has grown into himself. He's still trying to prove that he's more than just a Malfoy. I really think it's unnecessary for there to be animosity between Ron and Scorpius. Ron knows how much Scorpius loves his daughter, and we'll get into that later on. I'm actually really excited to write Ron and Scor's relationship because you don't see it often in stories with them getting on well together.
Dee is still herself, being fierce. I really love her character. But you're right, she has calmed down and matured.
Scorpius really does hold resentment for Rose because her letter was so abrupt for him and he doesn't know the real reason why she left. But at the same time, he still cares deeply for her.
Great first review to read on the sequel. I love how analytical you are and breaking down every little detail. It's such a great response.


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