Reading Reviews for Event Three - The Elder Song
  
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MrsJaydeMalfoy The Elder Song

27th August 2015:
Hi there Kyle!!

So... I don't know if you remember that Hufflepuff review hot seat that was like... literally FOREVER ago... but, yeah. I still owe you reviews from that. *hides in shame* I'm sorry it has taken me so long to do these - but I promise, I didn't forget about you. The link to your author's page has been on a sticky note on my desktop ever since, just waiting for me to come review you! I hope these reviews can make up for my tardiness!

Right from the beginning of this, I LOVED your description! "The soft melodic chirping of the crickets"?!? That is just beautiful!

I think this is the first story I've read about Rolf Scamander, if I remember correctly, and I really enjoyed it, as well as the references to his epic grandfather! A huge kudos for originality!

Your description of Adarmam was so clear, I could easily picture her in my mind. And I love, love LOVE how you made these creatures of hope - and the backstory about Dementors having once been those creatures! That's amazing!

It's so sweet that Newt passed these pipes and this knowledge on to his grandson! That whole family just seems to be the protector of all sorts of magical creatures!

I really enjoyed this! Well done!

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Review #2, by The Summer Snake The Elder Song

16th May 2015:
Greetings from The Summer Snake! I have recently slithered out of hibernation and discovered this amazing place with such amazing stories, so I want to read and review as many as I can before I go back into hibernation!

Wow, this was very sweet. I am glad I read this! Your characterisation of Rolf was very good. I loved the characterisation of the Gwyn. She was such an intriguing creature and the way you wrote her was very fascinating.

The whole comparison with the dementors was quite interesting. My favourite bit was definitely that part where she tells that she lives off hope and is connected to the song and stuff. It was very mysterious and interesting.

The entire narrative had an air of suspense around it. The scenes were very well written and I enjoyed the entire piece very much. Loved the note this ended on too. When I slither to this forest, I must attempt to find this fascinating creature myself! I am no ordinary snake after all, I am magical too.

All in all, amazing one-shot. Great plot concept, awesome scenes, wonderful descriptions, brilliant dialogue and smooth flow. *showers confetti and flowers* I could go on and on about how very interesting this was!

But oh look at the time, I must be off now to explore more of this wonderful sun! See ya!

With love,
The Summer Snake

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Review #3, by Babbitty Rabbitty The Elder Song

2nd April 2015:
Hello! I was hopping on by when I noticed this story and I couldn't resist taking a peek at it.

The idea of a wizard living in the forest for an extended period of time drew me in for reasons I'm sure you can understand, having heard all about the tale of me (hehe). It takes a special kind of person to be able to live in the forest and to be in tune with nature, but it seems like this Rolf fellow is one of the few who is pure of heart and kind enough in spirit to respect it all.

I have never heard of the creatures you mentioned in here, but I like the legend you have built up around them. It makes sense that there would be a "good" equivalent to the Dementors (or, perhpaps as you suggest, before the Dementors turned away from the light). There must be balance, as I'm sure you know.

I think this Rolf fellow and I would have gotten along well. You make him seem like a good, reliable man. Definitely the kind of person I could see ending up with Luna since he does not have a rigid belief system and is open to the supernatural, but perhaps with a bit more of a level head to balance her out.

Yours truly,

Babbitty Rabbitty

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Review #4, by likeness_of_a_seabird The Elder Song

10th January 2015:
Hufflepuff Hot Seat Review, round two!

Aw, that was so sweet! I really like Rolf as a character; he is just like I imagined him to be - gentle and in harmony with the nature. It would be hard to imagine Newt Scamander's grandson to be anything else. :)

I was really intrigued by this magical creature. I wondered if you were going to use some familiar creature from the books, perhaps some rare variation or an "ordinary" (because magical creatures can hardly be called ordinary!) creature that had simply been misterpreted as something else by frightened people. That would have been interesting as well, but I'm happy that you chose to go with a creature you made yourself - at least I assume you created the ianderyn because I googled them and found nothing. I also liked how you tied them so neatly to the Harry Potter universe by making Dementors to be fallen ianderyn. That was a clever move.

Another thing I really liked was how Newt had received the reed pipe from the ianderyn and passed it on to Rolf, and along with it, the ianderyn's trust. I think that is such a beautiful idea. I also liked the idea that while the ianderyn vanished from sight, Rolf still knew she was there - like a guardian angel!

Thank you for writing this beautiful story!

- Emmi

Author's Response: Thanks Emmi!
This one was so fun to write!
There are so many tales of angles so why couldn't there be a magical creature. I need to look to see how I formed the name for them. It is in Gaelic I believe but I mixed together words.
Thanks again Emmi!
-Kyle


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Review #5, by writeyourheartout The Elder Song

24th December 2014:
HAPPY (really quite belated) HOT SEAT DAY, KYLE!!! :-D

What a great story! I really enjoyed it! I've never read a fic that focused on Rolf before, but I really found myself drawn to your version of him! The way you described his love and connection to being outdoors and discovering nature and the world was so vivid and set up a really great background for him. Also, I can totally see Luna ending up with him just based on the small insight provided by you in this short one-shot. You really captured a lot of who he is in just a small amount of time. Kudos, dude; that's a hard thing to pull off. ^.^

I have to say it: I don't know if J.K. Rowling ever actually stated Rolf's real House anywhere, but I love that he's in Hufflepuff (of course)! ^.^

I love this part here: "We may wave our wands, and cast fancy spells, but true magic lies in our hearts. Music is powerful magic Rolf. For chords of music can bring a man to tears, and bring happiness to many people. Remember that my boy, with music in your heart, the angels will accept you with arms wide open." - Such a beautiful sentiment! And I love that you chose to include Newt Scamander in the story as well with this small moment. It was really lovely. And then this bit here that follows shortly after: It was a slow song, with drifting chords. Some may call it a lullaby, but it is more than that. While it does make you feel a sense of calmness, something in the melody beckons you to be more alert of things around you. Like the world is awakening from its deep slumber, and calling for your attention. - Love this as well! You speak so beautifully about music; it really moves me. :)

And then the change hits! The tone of the piece becomes suddenly very tense and suspenseful! I think you handled that really well by introducing those small changes to the world around him - the fire with no heat, the silenced crickets, etc. And then this lady-creature thing! Ah! Just like Rolf, I can't tell if she/it is dangerous or not! But I'm definitely feeling on edge... *must get answers* *keeps reading*

Oh, yay! She/it is good! And I just have to say that this story is unraveling in such a cool way. I mean, the pipe he played called her to him, and he's all pure of heart, and his grandfather mentioned these creatures earlier in that beautiful speech I quoted, and with every new reveal and connection to the first half of the story, I get all excited to see it piecing together! Eep, this is so great!

I have to ask: Did you create this magical creature yourself?? It's so cool. If you did, that's absolutely amazing. And if you didn't, well, you still handled writing it in an awesome manner.

I just love the dialogue of this piece! The exchanges between Rolf and Adarmam are so... poetic, almost. I really like how the ending section was almost entirely dialogue, because you write it so well.

There are some little errors here and there, and I just picked out a few below:

Nestled in a grove of particular* ancient oaks alongside a small lake, was a camp. - *particularly

Even then, the cozy Hufflepuff Common Room,* and the vast grounds where** enough to suffice for his affinity for nature. -*no comma needed here, **were, not where

"Yes, but though a wizard you may be. You are still a creature of flesh and blood, and you wield with you the power of spell craft." - The structure of this sentence is just a little wonky. I would consider changing it to: "Yes. But though a wizard you may be, you are still a creature of flesh and blood, and you wield with you the power of spell craft." - There are a handful of other places where your sentence structure is just a bit off as well, so that it disrupts the otherwise gorgeous flow of this piece. I punctuation and sentence structure - like so many of us - are your weaknesses. Just something to think about and maybe concentrate on as you continue to grow as a writer, is all! ^.^

"For while we live off of hope;* hope cannot survive without trust." - *comma, not semi-colon

Minor little errors and typo's aside, this really was a wonderful story. Creative and original and just so, so lovely. The tale honestly left me with a sense of wonder when it ended. I'm really glad the Hot Seat brought me to it. Keep up the great work! :)

Tanya ^.^

Author's Response: Hey Tanya!
Thanks for the review!
I think this is only the second time I have written a non- second gen character based story. and I loved to write Rolf.

I don't think she stated it either, but since his grandfather and presumibly father (if their family follows the thing where family ends up in the same house) I can really see him being part of the Puffs.

I love music, and I honestly think that music is one of the closest things us muggles can call using magic. :)

I did invent them :) I really wanted to describe angels as if they were real. and I loved how they turned out. And she is good! though not always, the legends I did mention were slightly true. As I think if you were to hear something so pure, and not be pure yourself, you would always want to hear it again and would eventually drive you mad.

Thanks for the Grammar help :p I'm still at war with my Anti-Grammatical personality.

Thanks again Tanya! Glad you enjoyed :)
Merry Christmas!
Kyle


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Review #6, by Freda_and_Georgina The Elder Song

22nd December 2014:
I've returned! So, I am curious whatever happened to the 'hostile beast', unless it was the angelic being. I love Rolf's character, he is the kind of man Luna would love as a soulmate.

This was very well-written, excellent.
Georgina

Author's Response: Hey Georgina!
so the 'hostile beast' was the angelic being, but it was more legends than anything, since their song can drive you mad. My assumption is people had heard the song echoing through the forest, kind of like your peripheral vision but with sound.

I love Rolf, he was so fun to write :)

Thanks again!
Kyle


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Review #7, by wolfgirl17 The Elder Song

8th November 2014:
Hi Kyle,

This is a lovely story. I really enjoyed it. I've never read a story about Rolf before, and not about angels in HPverse either.

You do need to watch your past/present tense wording, as I noticed in many instances that you began with past and then switched to present mid-sentence, and vice versa. It disturbs the flow of the story somewhat, which is a shame, because this is such an enchanting one-shot, filled with hope and trust (and pixie dust teehee).

I think that if you were to do an edit and fix those things up, this story would be utterly breathtaking. Thanks for contributing it to the archives. =)

xx-Wolfgirl17

Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Yeah I realized after I posted it that I had those mistakes in it, but I do plan on going back through and editing this story after I finish up editing a couple of my other ones.
This was the first time I got to write a Rolf story and I had a lot of fun with it :).
Thanks Again!
-Kyle


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Review #8, by Pretense Of Perfection The Elder Song

12th July 2014:
How interesting, I never thought of the dementor's opposite, although it does sort of make sense. I love how you created a brand new magical creature for the challenge, and it's easy to see that you put a lot of thought into it. I particularly like how she looks, what with the clawed foot like a bird and all. She seems exquisitely beautiful, just as I imagine a "Creature" of light would be. And Rolf was kept perfectly in character as well. He's totally the type of guy I can picutre going off into the woods on his own, looking for some sort of mystery or adventure. I like how his family was incorporated, and how it seems sort of like their affinity for nature is passed on through the generations. Well done!!

--house cup 2014 review--
gryffindor

Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I loved writing about Adarmam and Rolf and eventually I want to create a sequel sort of that show cases others of her species also.
Thanks again :)
kyle


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Review #9, by maskedmuggle The Elder Song

12th July 2014:
Hey!

Ooh I really enjoyed this a lot! It was so unique and different to any other story that I've read. I loved the magical creature that you used here - Ianderyn - very original, and such a pretty name as well! You weaved such an interesting story here, and I was curious from the start as to what might happen to Rolf. It's so cool to see a story featuring Rolf as well by the way, since I feel that it's pretty rare! I loved the dialogue between Rolf and Adarmam - it was very engrossing to read about, and I liked that you provided some history/background to the Ianderyn. Awesome story, I thought it was really well written as well :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Thanks!
It means a lot that you enjoyed it. I loved writing Adarmam and I fell in love with Welsh which a lot of the names in this story come from.
thanks again! :)
Kyle


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Review #10, by nott theodore The Elder Song

11th July 2014:
Hi there! I'm here trying to make it through as many of the house cup stories as possible and I really enjoyed this one!

I thought that it was really original of you to write about animals (creatures) like the Ianderyn, because I've certainly never seen any stories about them before. Are they creatures that you made up yourself or ones that you've taken from canon or myth? I found your use of them really imaginative and it was great to see that in a story like this. I loved your writing style as well, it was very mystical and the descriptions were quite magical, which tied in really well with the theme of the story, and the creatures that you were writing about. I also loved your use of Rolf as a character and I liked your portrayal of him - he's definitely the sort of person I can see ending up with Luna, and I liked his interest in the creatures, as well as the hint to Newt Scamander too!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Thanks!
I really loved writing this. The Ianderyn are my creation. In welsh their name roughly translates to silver birds. I had fun using welsh in this story.
Thanks again!
Kyle


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Review #11, by teh tarik The Elder Song

9th July 2014:
Hey there, Kyle!

This is such a wonderful and incredibly unique piece! I love how enchanting and mystical it is; the way you set up the scene with your beautiful and very serene descriptions really paved the way for the entrance of the Ianderyn (did you make this up, or is it part of existing lore or myths?) Either way, they were brilliant to read about, and I really enjoyed them. I think you did a great job with Rolf's character; he certainly does have a purity about him, and he's the sort of humble down-to-earth guy who's most comfortable exploring the woods or marvelling at the wonders of nature.

I love how the Ianderyn are the opposite of Dementors, that they give off hope as Dementors feed on hope and happiness and give off despair! They are indeed like angels, as Newt describes them to Rolf. Not heavenly, celestial angels, but more like earthly guardians that are real and tangible and existing among humans.

This was such a gorgeous piece, very atmospheric, very entrancing. Great work, and lovely writing!

-teh
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I made up the Ianderyn. Though they are based off of angels, and I can see them being similar to veelas also. but there are male and females of the Ianderyn. I realize I didn't put it in the story but the elder song is such a pure song that those that hear it and aren't pure of heart can go insane. so they do have a dark side to them, sort of.
In my mind I would imagine that muggles and even wizards (since the Ianderyn are rarely seen) thought of them as the heavenly angels you see in Christianity and other religions.
since when they did appear in olden times they usually helped people in one way or another.
If you have any questions about them feel free to pm me :)
thanks again!
kyle.


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Review #12, by MischiefNotQuiteMannaged The Elder Song

9th July 2014:
I've really enjoyed reading this story! It's a really creative and moving account of how Dementor's came to be! Especially how they once lived and thrived off all the hope in the world, and how they've now changed and feed off hope, taking all hope away.

Rolf's encounter with the Ianderyn is beautiful, it's funny and moving, and gave me goosebumps! I especially love how you described music. It's true, music is such a powerful magic (even Muggles know that)!

This is the first fic i've ever read from Rolf's perspective, and I really enjoyed it! I hope he passes the secret on to Luna. I think she'd be thrilled to meet the Ianderyn!

House Cup 2014 Review!

Author's Response: Thanks!
I loved writing this.
Honestly I don't think he would tell Luna. Not really sure why, I just think that he would keep his promise.
I might write a sequel where he does tell lorcan and lysander. Kind of a father to child thing.
Thanks agsin for the review!
Kyle


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Review #13, by SkyEcho The Elder Song

8th July 2014:
Hi!

You have such a lovely way of describing the scenery. It's a pleasure to read :) This is the first story I've read about Rolf and I really enjoyed your portrayal of him. The way you reveal information about him is done really naturally. He is a Hufflepuff with a love of nature, yet he is also incredibly brave and scholarly to seek out this mysterious beast.
The idea of music as a kind of magic is such a beautiful notion. It was interesting to see the connection between Adarmam's race and the dementors. I really enjoyed reading this. Great job!

*House Cup 2014 Review*

Author's Response: Thanks so much!
I believe music is the closest thing we have to actual magic.
Thanks agian!


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Review #14, by UnluckyStar57 The Elder Song

8th July 2014:
The tone for this is so mystical and magical... I really liked reading it because the storyline flowed so smoothly from one thing to the next. :)

So... Angels? Is that right? I wasn't sure, but I might have missed some detail. Anyways, your use of a sentient, vocal creature in a humanoid form was really interesting. Rolf and Adarmam connected on a level that is unlike the connection between wizards and mere beasties. That was pretty awesome!

Your use of music in the story made me very happy. Music is a universal language, as they say, and it is appropriate that Adarmam should have been called and awakened through it. The description of the pipes was very vivid, and it seems that Rolf made some lovely music with them.

The only thing that I questioned about this story is the fact that you sometimes switched into present tense to talk about some things. I wasn't sure if that was purposeful or accidental.

Really excellent story, and what a unique choice of magical creature!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Thanks!
I really loved writing this story.
They are really similar to angels. Besides the bird feet. But in my mind they have helped humans for countless generations and so the humans call them angels.
Ianderyn translates to silver bird, and Adarmam translates to mother bird. If you have any questions about them feel free to pm me :-)
I really love music and In my opinion it is one of the closest things to magic we muggles have.
Thanks again.
-kyle


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Review #15, by evil little devil The Elder Song

7th July 2014:
Hello fellow Hufflepuff!
This was so lovely! I'm curious, are the Ianderyn canon, or did you create them? Either way, I love them! The idea that dementors were once something beautiful is really interesting, and totally believable.
This was incredibly well written! Your imagery and descriptions are lovely, they flow right of the page and really create this wonderful atmosphere of wonder and mystery.
I'm really excited to read a Rolf story! I have often wondered about what type of person he would be, to be married to Luna.
And I really loved that you pointed out that wizards are magical creatures as well. The whole conversation between Rolf and Adarmam was very well written, it was witty and natural, and really showed how respectful Rolf was of magical creatures, which he would definitely have to be to be both in his profession and married to Luna.
This was an absolute delight to read! I really loved it :)

- House Cup 2014 Review.

Author's Response: Hello!
Thankyou so much.
The Ianderyn are not canon they were created by me. The goal of the task was to show that creatures can be good. And I really wanted to show that while dementors are foul they may have been something different. Dementors are supposed to be embodiements of depression, and there is something beautiful, a hope that shines that depression takes away. It's always nice when you can find the light again, and maybe a dementor could.
Wow that was a ramble, but thanks again.
Kyle


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Review #16, by TheHeirOfSlytherin The Elder Song

7th July 2014:
Kyle! Hey!

I really like that you chose Rolf for this. Given his job/life, he's probably seen his fair share of cool creatures. But this one may be the best I've heard of. Being the opposite if a Dementor and the Dementors were once creatures of light shows another side to the magical world that is always fun to read (for me and I suspect many more people).

Back to Rolf. I love that you chose him because he's so minor. We know very little about him, except basics, so writers have lots of creative freedom with his character. And you wrote a part of his life that I could genuinely see happening, which is really cool.

Great one-shot, Kyle!

Sam.

House Cup 2014 Review.

Author's Response: Thanks Sam!
I really enjoyed writing this story. :)


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Review #17, by HeyMrsPotter The Elder Song

7th July 2014:
Hi, Kyle!

I know I've already read this but it's always nice to have reviews so here I am :D

I can't remember if I've already said this to you but I absolutely adored this story. You've got a really original plot and an excellent interpretation of the promt we were given. I like that you've got such an unusual magical creature, and that you chose to have Rolf be the one to meet her. Adarmam is a really interesting character, and her story about Dementors once being like her was just so clever.

I also really like the description you use in the first part of the story, especially the way you described both Rolf and Adarmam, I got such a good picture in my head of both of them.

Of the stories I've read so far for the House Cup prompts (and by now I've read a LOT of them-go Hufflepuff!), this is definitely up there with my favourites.

Dee -House Cup 2014 review.

Author's Response: Thanks Dee!
I really enjoyed writing this :)
It's nice to get a different take on things every once in a while.
I loved working with the descriptions in this story. Especially since I got to work with welsh a lot in it. Like the name of the forest and Adarmam. Can't exactly remember what they mean but Adarmam means mother of something.
Thanks again Dee!
Kyle


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Review #18, by ohmymerlin The Elder Song

7th July 2014:
Heya, Kyle!

This was so brilliant! I loved Adarmam, she was so brilliant! She reminded me of a version of Legolas and Galadriel from Lord of the Rings for some reason :P She was also so wise!

And I really liked that she was the opposite of a dementor. I'd never really thought of a 'good version' of them but it makes sense and it's very clever! It's like they're opposite sides of the same coin, to be cliche ;)

I also really enjoyed the connection between Rolf and his grandfather. It was so lovely!

Also, I loved loved loved loved this quote:

'We may wave our wands, and cast fancy spells, but true magic lies in our hearts. Music is powerful magic Rolf. For chords of music can bring a man to tears, and bring happiness to many people.'

It was so amazing! It was such a powerful quote, Kyle! I loved it so much and I kept rereading it because it was so brilliant!

So clearly, I loved this one-shot! You did a brilliant job of it! ♥

GO HUFFLEPUFF! :D

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014

Author's Response: Thanks Kayla!
I really enjoyed writing this one, and it was one of the few stories where it was really hard to keep in the word limit.
In my opinion, I think dark creatures were originally spawned by the darkness in people's hearts many years ago. And so it would make sense that creatures could be spawned by the goodness in people's hearts.
She did seem very elf like didn't she? I.can't remember what her name means, but it is a mix between the welsh name for mother and something else.
I got to use a lot of welsh in this story which I really enjoyed.
Thanks again!
Kyle :)


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