Reading Reviews for The Wizarding World War
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jailbird The Hogwarts Express

23rd July 2014:
Rose in Slythrin is new! I was seriously expecting her to be in Gryffindor.
This is really going well. I like Victorie too. She seems like a genuinely nice character. So does James. It's great how you've tied it back to the epilogue; with Teddy snogging Victorie and the comments about saying hi to Neville and the thestrals.
It's going wonderfully so far. I can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you've left a review on your reading progress! Seriously, people who review during their read-throughs are the best :) It really helps me know how the progression of the story is going! I'm glad you're still liking it so far. I do hope you keep reading!

Thanks again!
Emma


 Report Review

Review #2, by jailbird Prologue : The Wizarding Hemispheric Conflict of 1979

23rd July 2014:
Hey!
This is a really interesting start. There aren't any typos I came across. I like how you've started with an air of mystery and it's an intertesting take to have it from a Muggle's perspective.
I suppose the only criticim I have is that the chapter is maybe a little too short. Maybe put a little more despription in there? The dialogue was great though! I'm really excited to read this story.
Also, your summary was really good too. It really stands out.
Alright, I'm off to read the next chapter. Just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying it! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! :D reviews always make my day :) The prologue is a bit short, but prologues generally are :) I do hope you're liking the rest of the story!! Thanks again!

Emma


 Report Review

Review #3, by MileyMalfoy A Family Affair

12th July 2014:
As a history major I love the fact that you have added in muggle history throughout this story. The segments of Professor Binns' lecture almost makes me want to be there (strange I know) just to hear all about that history, so you've got me hooked. I also really love how you use this chapter not only to display something like a history class, but also to show the reactions to Rose being put in Slytherin. My favourite one has to be the description of how Ron kept interrupting Hermione's day, especially this part: "I just - Slytherin, Hermione! Our Rosie, a Slytherin. This is too much."

This story is so wonderful to read that I can't wait for the next chapter. Good job!
~Meg
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: :D I'm a history minor ;) I'm so glad you liked it! I really wanted the backstory to come to light in useful/practical/rational ways so i'm glad that it worked out :) Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Emma


 Report Review

Review #4, by MileyMalfoy The Eight Families

12th July 2014:
One of the things I love about this story is how much detail you have put in to creating the OCs and the worlds that they live in. It's rather easy to work off of canon or place an OC in Hogwarts (that's my preferred trick) but to come up with entire other systems that still fit into the boundaries of the wizarding world while making something their own takes a lot of work. Thank you so much for doing that! I am loving this story and how it is unfolding, and getting to meet all the different characters makes me feel like something very big is going to unfold (in case the title didn't tell the reader that already or anything). I love love love the little touches, like how the descendants of the Salem witches all get together, and all try to show off their muggle finery, which seems to be so different from the purebloods in England. All in all I can't wait to see how this story evolves, and I'm really enjoying reading it.

Fantastic job!
~ Meg
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi! :) Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and thanks for the compliments! I really hope that everything unfolds properly and you keep enjoying it!

emma


 Report Review

Review #5, by Chazzie A Family Affair

12th July 2014:
Whoop, another chapter! I really like where this is going. You've introduced quite a few characters and have started hinting towards the approaching war, the foreshadowing works really well. Its great how you've given us background information about the war from Arthur and Binns, its useful in helping the reader understand more about the story without being blatantly obvious about it. Ron's reaction to Rose's sorting is exactly as I would have imagined it, given his long standing hatred of the House. I do hope he becomes more open minded though - we aren't that bad. Her minor is ever logical, and I loved your portrayal of Ginny here. It was really sweet to see her with Lily. Can't wait to read more!
Lottie

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Thank you for all of the kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed it :) I do hope you keep reading! :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by lexiatel The Hogwarts Express

10th July 2014:
LOL! Rose is so much like Ron ,I love this!

My favorite line of course (LOL AT JAMES): Earlier when James was re-enacting how you were snogging with Teddy, Fred said that you have snogged almost every boy at Hogwarts.

I like how every time I read James in a Next Gen he ends up being so funny but a real jerk (in a light manner way in most cases), it's weird to picture, since his parents are not that way.

I have to agree with Fred that you forget they are thirteen (the nasty mouthed boys), but I grew up with a lot of boys around, they have such trashy minds at that age, lol, so it's not unrealistic.

HOLY WOW AT ROSE'S SORTING! I didn't expect this... MUST READ ON.!

Rated 10/10 for the surprise ending, lol!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: :D Thanks so much for the great review!! I'm glad you liked it and hope you kept reading! :)

 Report Review

Review #7, by lexiatel Prologue : The Wizarding Hemispheric Conflict of 1979

10th July 2014:
Very nice start to this story, almost chilling (picturing being a Muggle since I am one myself, lol), It's weird how the sister pretends nothing has happened. I don't know how old she is, but it seems very mature of her to do such a thing.

I am going to read on to the next chapter, because you hooked me in, but I figured I would review this for the House Cup.

Rated it an 8/10

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: :) Hi again! I'm so glad you liked the beginning as well :) Thanks again! -emma

 Report Review

Review #8, by marauderfan The Eight Families

10th July 2014:
Hello! This is the review you requested ages ago in my thread on the forums - so sorry it took me such a long time as I didn't have internet this past month!

You asked about whether the characters are well-rounded and interesting. Each chapter thus far has focused on different characters, which makes that kind of a difficult question to answer as I feel I don't know any of them that well yet. But, given the large cast introduced in a relatively short time, I think you've done well. One of the things I really liked about the character introduction in this chapter was how you established the elite high-society wizard class in America as the descendants of those involved in the Salem Witch Trials - it's another way that wizards focus a lot on their ancestry, although in an entirely different way to the aristocratic British wizards obsession with pureblood elitism. That's really clever. At least they don't take themselves too seriously though, with the most-bigoted award :p

You also mentioned that your story begins as an average next gen but I don't think that's the case at all! You're starting off with events in three different countries, the next gen Weasleys just one of the three groups. I think it starts off pretty suspenseful, I can tell something big is coming.

The beginning of the chapter seemed pretty disconnected from the rest of the story so far, but with Charlie's dad being in government I can see how this will potentially tie in with the other people's stories you've introduced.

Since this still feels like an extended introduction and I have no idea what will happen next, I can't offer much in the way of critique, since mostly what I'm thinking about as I read it is just wondering what will happen, how the looming war (I assume) will bring together these three groups of people, and how the various characters will interact :P Nothing stands out as glaringly wrong and I found very few typos, so nicely done. I look forward to reading more of this! And once again, my apologies on the huge delay in reviewing!

Author's Response: No worries about the delay! And thank you for the thorough review!! :) Reviews like this are always the most helpful. Thanks again!

emma


 Report Review

Review #9, by Chazzie The Eight Families

10th July 2014:
That was great! You are doing really well with this so far, and I can't wait to see where you take it. The plot is really original, so I'm looking forward to reading more. So far we have heard about four different Wizarding Schools, and it's really interesting to read about the traditions, celebrations, and culture that each one has. In particular I liked Charlie as a character (although I may be biase from my name) as she seems pretty headstrong from what you've shown of her so far. A good ally, but not someone to cross. I've never thought about wands being made of metal before, it's an interesting concept. Would they still have animal cores, or something else given the 'man made' nature of the steel and aluminium?
Lottie (Chazzie)

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: aw, thank you so much! i'm so glad you liked it. i imagine that the metal wands might still have animal cores, among other things, but definitely still made of things with magical, natural origins. :) to me, the core is what gives it the power, and the wand casing just kind of focuses it :)
thanks for the review!
emma


 Report Review

Review #10, by marauderfan The Gobi Academy

10th July 2014:
Wow, it was great that you brought the prologue in to the rest of the story so quickly! It's really interesting to read about the Chinese magical academy and compare it to magic in the UK - notably in the difference in ages of their students, and the fact that Muggle-born students aren't allowed to tell their parents about magic! I imagine it's kind of a rude awakening into the world of magic for Jun as well, since she's just taken to the school first without any time to get used to the idea.

Hm, the last part was interesting. Is some international conflict brewing? I imagine this is what will disrupt the peace of the Next Generation characters at Hogwarts, I'm interested to see how their worlds collide. Great work!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: international conflict indeed! ;) I'm glad you liked it! And i'm glad the differences between the wizarding cultures weren't too jarring :) Thanks for the review!

Emma


 Report Review

Review #11, by marauderfan The Hogwarts Express

10th July 2014:
I liked the scene with Victoire and Rose in the train. That would be hard for Victoire, to return back to school when all her friends have graduated - but at least she has her crazy family to talk to.. it was amusing when they were discussing what their cousins had said, hahaha. Yeah, I can imagine Victoire isn't too thrilled what Fred is saying about her.

The dialogue between Fred, James, and Louis is perfect as well, sooo typical of thirteen year old boys, especially daring someone to eat a nasty-looking bean that fell on the floor - I don't know why that was the thing to do at that age, but everyone does go through that phase haha. I love the mention of how Fred acquired the Marauder's Map - and even more than that, how James is kind of a failure at being a prankster so far because he doesn't know of any of the secret passages! That's so funny :D

Rose is a Slytherin! I so did not see that coming. I am actually super excited to see how she fits in with the other snakes because I can't recall ever having read a story where Rose is a Slytherin - that's great! I could see Al as a Ravenclaw.

I'm really curious how the prologue relates to all of this as well! I will have to read on and find out ;)

House Cup 2014 Review - Hooray for Hufflepuff!

Author's Response: Hi again! :D I'm so glad you liked the characters, and the surprise with Rose :) Thanks for reviewing again! :)

Emma


 Report Review

Review #12, by marauderfan Prologue : The Wizarding Hemispheric Conflict of 1979

10th July 2014:
Wow, what an interesting start you've got here! I love that it's from the POV of a Muggle and set in China, that already sets your story apart and adds a unique twist.

Your first paragraph, especially, is so powerful. I love the contrast between what Suri is told to believe and what she actually knows to be true - her mother and sister tell her that it never happened, and pretend it's all fine and just move on, but she knows. It's a little like the book 1984 how the government change their minds and say the war is against a different country now and always has been. Well, it's a bit of a stretch for a comparison I guess, but that's what popped into my head as I read this chapter, and that only makes me more curious about what is going on and how people are covering it up. Certainly an intriguing start, and I love the setting. I'll be back!

House Cup 2014 Review


P.S. HUFFLEPUFF! HUFFLEPUFF! :D

Author's Response: HI! :D GO HUFFLEPUFF indeed!!! I'm so pleased that you enjoyed this! It's my baby ;D i've been working on the concept for like nearly a decade now, it's crazy, and I really hope it all turns out well. Thank you so much for reviewing!

Emma


 Report Review

Review #13, by The_Crookshanks_Saga The Gobi Academy

8th July 2014:
Hi, this is The_Crookshanks_Saga from a review swap!

This story is just so interesting! You know, thanks for leaving off there, otherwise I may be late for courses. You wrote these chapters in a typical, third-person narrative, switching the PoVs multiple times, yet unlike usually, the flow and suspense was manipulated so artfully you had our complete attention! Bravo, ninja, bravo.

Until next time!
Meena

Author's Response: Thanks, Meena! I'm glad you liked it :)

 Report Review

Review #14, by Beeezie The Gobi Academy

8th July 2014:
This was super interesting! I loved seeing how the Chinese schools do things a bit differently - the idea that Jun isn't allowed to talk to her parents about being a witch, ever, was definitely very different from the Hogwarts day, as was the age when they first went to school. I also loved the idea of them having a fake website - it makes a lot of sense, especially by 2017.

I was wondering if it would take awhile for me to find out more about what happened in the first chapter, and I'm glad you addressed it so quickly. I really liked the way you addressed it, too - it felt very natural, the way Kiya talked to her husband about it, and because he was hearing it for the first time, it didn't feel rushed. I also loved reading about it now, from her perspective in the wizarding world rather than from a child's perspective.

Amazing job. Like I said, definitely adding this to my 'currently reading' list.

House Cup 2014 Review - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind review, again! :D I'm glad you liked the continuation, and the introduction of another part of the wizarding world! :)

Emma


 Report Review

Review #15, by Beeezie The Hogwarts Express

8th July 2014:
Oh - forgot to mention this in my last review, but I noticed that you seemed to write 1978 in some places and 1979 in others. I'm not sure if that was intentional - maybe the chapter was foreshadowing an event from 1979? But in case it wasn't intentional, I thought I'd mention it.

I love the way you categorize the Weasley clan in the next-gen era. I can totally see how the Weasleys could be a little smothering-ly close - they came off a bit like that in the books, and that must have just been magnified tenfold when all of the Weasleys had kids, too. There are clear pluses to it, too, as evidenced by Rose's efforts to make Victoire feel better.

I'm really intrigued by your making Rose in Slytherin - I almost never see that. I can't remember the last story I read where that happened.

Your prose also continues to impress. I love the way you craft sentences together, and your dialogue is great. I would just remember to be careful with your punctuation - you should always end sentences with some form of punctuation, and you didn't always do it - e.g., when you wrote "Potter, Albus". :)

Great job, though - I can't wait until I see how the prologue connects to this and how the story continues to unfold.

House Cup 2014 Review - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thanks for the note on the years! it'd gone through a lot of edits and changes so i'll have to go back and make sure it's all the same... I'm glad you liked it! thanks for the sweet review!

emma


 Report Review

Review #16, by Beeezie Prologue : The Wizarding Hemispheric Conflict of 1979

8th July 2014:
Hey! I don't want a swap, so don't worry about giving me a review back - I just want to help out the Claws for the HC.

This is a really interesting start to a story, and I'm glad you mentioned it in your status! The start of the chapter is just incredible - My mother insists that it never happened, but I remember that night is literally one of the most intriguing opening sentences I've read in a fic, and I'm definitely going to read the next two chapters and add it to my 'currently reading' list.

This is super intriguing - I find China to be fascinating in general, and I'm curious to see how you develop this, especially since it's a prologue. I really can't find any fault in your prose, either. I can't wait to read more!

House Cup 2014 Review - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind review! I hope you liked the next two chapters as well. The story's going to alternate between four different story lines (though a large amount of the focus will be on Hogwarts & a wizarding school in china during this first story. The sequel will have a lot more to do with the latter two storylines, so I still want to get the readers introduced to them in the first story).

Thanks again for the feedback!


 Report Review

Review #17, by Chazzie The Gobi Academy

6th July 2014:
Wow, this is really great so far! I like it, especially the parts set in China. It's really cool to see your interpretation of magic in a country other than the USA or the UK. I thought your speech was really complimented by the descriptive words you used. In chapter 2 though, I think you may have called Albus 'James' by mistake, when he sits down with the Ravenclaws. Minor error though. All in all, I think you are doing a great job and I hope to read some more of this story in the future.
Chazzie

Author's Response: Ahh, thank you so much for the review!! :) And thanks for mentioning the mistake - I've gone back and re-submitted it to the queue, now. (I think they may murder me, I've got like four chapter edits in the queue and one new chapter...)

I'm so glad you like the story! Thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #18, by MileyMalfoy The Gobi Academy

6th July 2014:
I'm already completely hooked on this story! I think it's really interesting to see the two different wizarding worlds and I'm going to be waiting anxiously to find out what is going to happen next! I love getting to know this family of OCs and getting to see the different words and systems that are in place in Asia over what we come to accept as the norm through Hogwarts.

I do have a question for you though. You mentioned the ICW a few times and I'm guessing that it's pretty important but I'm not sure what that stands for? I might have missed it... although I did try to go back and check, but if the reader is meant to know what that stands for and it's not already in the chapter maybe you could use the full name the first time? Other than that I didn't see any kind of grammar or spelling issues that jumped out at me (I always try and look for things like that because I know I would want reviewers to tell me if they saw anything amiss in my stories) and I thought that this flowed really really well. I'm going to go back and review the other two chapters when I have some more free time but I wanted to get this up now because I think that you've done an amazing job so far and I wanted to let you know that!

Please keep up the great work! This story seems like it has the potential to be incredible and I shall definitely be adding it to my favourites.

Thanks for instigating a review swap that led me to it ^_^

~ Meg

Author's Response: I'm so glad that you're liking it! And thanks for letting me know. :) Because you said that I went back and re-read the chapter and caught a few other things that must have slipped through the editing process as well. Thank you so much for keeping tabs on it! I hope you continue to like it! (BTW: I put it in the story, now, but the ICW is the International Confederation of Wizards. I had it written out the first time but that was before I moved some chapters around - so instead of getting introduced in the second chapter, it was getting done in the fourth! That would have been weird. thanks again for alerting me!) :)

 Report Review

Review #19, by water_lily43175 The Hogwarts Express

1st July 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review. :) Sorry it's so late!

First off, I love the premise of this. International warfare disguised as a run-of-the-mill Next Gen? I am ALL OVER that. :)

Right from the start, I'm loving all the Weasley kids. You characterise them all superbly, especially their differing ages. I love how Rose, the youngest one, longs to be accepted by her older cousins, who are of that age where they don't want to know... and of course, Victoire's old enough to be above all that, and sits and talks happily to Rose. It's all very realistic. And the boys are also perfectly portrayed!

And a word on the prologue, because I did read it before coming to this chapter. Very intriguing, I wonder if the young girl is actually magical? I'd imagine she'll pop up at some point in the story... but in what capacity? HM.

Good chapter! I'll definitely be checking out the next one. :)

Author's Response: Hi! No worries! Thank you so much for the kind review! I'm glad you like the characters. :) I daresay she will be popping up at some point in the story - and even sooner than I had originally planned for it. :) I hope you keep enjoying the story! I may come back for another review or two... I appreciate your insight, and i'd like to see what you think about how it progresses!!

Thanks again,
Emma


 Report Review

Review #20, by Cassius Alcinder Prologue : The Wizarding Hemispheric Conflict of 1979

19th June 2014:
Review tag!

This story grabbed my attention right away because of the unique setting and events, which make it look very original. We see some glimpses in the books the the magical community has a global reach, and focusing on China is a very interesting idea that gives you a lot of room for creativity.

I like the way the story starts right in the middle of the action, and the revelation that the Chinese wizards are going to try to take over Europe creates some immediate suspense that makes the reader want to keep reading and find out what happens next.

Also, the main character being a Muggle adds a further dimension of intrigue, and it will be interesting to see how it all plays out. Looks like you're off to a good start!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading & reviewing! Glad you enjoyed it!

 Report Review

Review #21, by Lululuna The Hogwarts Express

17th June 2014:
Hello! :) Since the first chapter was so short, I thought I'd read both chapters and leave you one longer review on this one. Hope that's okay! :)

I thought the first chapter was so intriguing and confusing, though in a good way. The idea of a wizarding world war happening in the next generation era is quite original nd I loved how you introduced it through the eyes of the scared little girl, who is excited but doesn't really know what's going on. Since that happened in 1979, I'm curious to see if perhaps she'll have joined the movement in the present, maybe even become one of the leaders.

For this chapter, I like how you introduced the Weasley cousins and the different family and friend dynamics between them. Poor Rose, being in Slytherin - though I really liked how there were clues about what might make her a good Slytherin. Though she's kind and thoughtful, she also has ambitions about being liked by her cousins, and her giving them the money shows how she's willing to try other methods to gain their respect. So you did a good job of setting that up with her Sorting still being a surprise at the end. :)

The boys were hilarious as well, including the comment about Louis' mum! Poor boy, I bet he has to deal with those issues quite often. :P It's interesting how relatively normal and happy their lives are, and how that will change when the war comes. I'm definitely intrigued!

This was a great beginning to your story, and I really enjoyed reading them! :) Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Thanks for the great in-depth review! I'm glad you liked it. :)

 Report Review

Review #22, by toomanycurls Prologue : The Wizarding Hemispheric Conflict of 1979

17th June 2014:
Hello! Thanks for doing a review swap. I love how you set this up. Most first war stories focus on England and known characters. Having this start in China makes me just that much more interested in your story. It's unique that you're focusing on muggles (or at least they seemed like them to me). I really liked the proposition that muggles are aware of magic but ignore it like they'd turn away from an unsafe person.

I'm interested to see where you take this. I saw you have a chapter in the queue. I'll probably get to that tomorrow. Awesome job!

Author's Response: Thanks for swapping with me, as well! I really enjoyed your marauder's one-shot, and I like your writing voice, so I'll probably re-visit your author's page soon. :) Thanks for your interest in the story! The first actual chapter was validated today, and I have a one-shot in the queue, so you might actually be seeing that. :)

 Report Review

Review #23, by lumos_knox The Hogwarts Express

16th June 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the review swap.

This is a brilliant representation of the next generation, I think that it's perfect, actually. It's just like everyone should be, just what I imagined them to be like. Victoire/Teddy action, I see!

I agree, what kind of prankster is James if he hasn't found the map? Secrets, Harry, secrets! I've always thought, did the prankster personality skip a generation? Was it James, skip Harry, then James again? :) That's what I think, anyway.

This was a very enjoyable chapter. The flow was perfect, as was the description.

Thanks for sharing! I can't wait for the next chapter.

lumos_knox

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the sweet review!! I hope you like the rest of it as well. :) I'm sorry I haven't gotten to yours, yet. I got caught up reading a story I started yesterday, but I'm done now (hours later...). I'll take a look at yours now! I'm excited!

 Report Review

Review #24, by lumos_knox Prologue : The Wizarding Hemispheric Conflict of 1979

14th June 2014:
Hello, I'm here for the review swap that I saw on your status at the forums! I do hope I've got the right person. :) Your piece, although quite short, told quite a lot, and it sounds like the beginning of quite the story. I really liked the whole 'beginning of war' idea and such, I like a nice BANG to the beginning of my story. I really like your description, too. Suri's fear of the strange people, and part of the opening- the red shadows- are written well. At first I thought it might have something to do with bloodshed so of course I had to read on! If only Suri knew what these men can do... Kiya seems to know but she is not aware of the full extent of the strange "powers"... They can do a lot more than just "float things around". Kiya's ignorance of the events of the night before have me suspicious. How does she know they're not Suri's kind? Is she a witch herself? I'm interested in reading on, this seems to be quite the fresh take. I've never read anything that's set in China, to be honest, so this is good to read. Well, that's all! I look forward to the next chapters. My only hope is that it will be a little longer, just because I really want to know what happens next. Thanks for sharing! lumos_knox (You may be able to tell my 'enter' key is not working:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! A "bang" is what I was going for. The first chapter's been waiting for validation for a few days, and I really hope it's up to everyone's expectations. Thanks again!

 Report Review

Review #25, by 800 words of heaven Prologue : The Wizarding Hemispheric Conflict of 1979

13th June 2014:
REVIEW TAG!

Woah! What a start! I'm super intrigued to see where this story goes. I don't usually go for war stories, but I'm pleasantly surprised to say that I'm looking forward to reading this one :)

I like the way that you've set up Wizarding society in China. The wizards there seem to be a little more open about their magic, holding meetings of war and rebellion in squares, and the Muggles appear to be aware of their magic, at least to some extent.

And ooh! Rebellion! Conquering Europeans (for a pleasant change :P )! Lin Wang! What on earth is going to happen next?

Awesome stuff :)

Author's Response: Thanks! :) I hope you keep enjoying it :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>