Reading Reviews for Crossing Delicate Boundaries
  
104 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon Black Robes and Roses

21st October 2014:
Howdy! It's good to see you're back! I'm sorry about the lengthy delay. Work and my personal life have been madness. Now that I'm through with the excuses...on with the story.

As regards the flow of the chapter, there was really only one pure transition point for me, which was from the Ministry to the funeral. For me, it was a wee bit jarring not because of the end of the fight (which I think is absolutely right ending abruptly), but because of the way you opened the funeral (with Harry suddenly standing beside her).

As far as characterization goes, I thought Harry and Hermione attending the funeral was rather OOC personally. Not only is it unsafe for them (despite the presence of Aurors) given the crowd, it also doesn't fit for me that they would attend the funeral of someone who quite possibly would have celebrated their deaths. I think Harry and Hermione probably are forgiving people, but that's a stretch for me. Draco, likewise seemed far more selfless and reflective than in canon, which is possible given his post-war experiences, but seems to be a reach at this phase of life. After all, he'd hardly be thanking Harry when they couldn't manage more than nods in the epilogue would he? I don't know. Ron on the other hand did feel rather authentic. Beyond just displaying his temper (we know he can get angry and petulant), you pulled the emotion he must have felt after what he perceives as a betrayal by Hermione through the dialogue itself nicely too (though I would hope this affects how he acts toward Harry too because he should have similar feelings about his attendance I would think).

I think overall your increased patience with developing the endgame ship has shone through nicely, what will be key from here on out is making that development not require other characters to step excessively out of the norm.

Hope this helps! And again, glad to see you back again!

Author's Response: Hey there,
I understand that you feel I am a bit OOC. Maybe I am going overboard with their acceptance of Draco so soon. Maybe it should be a long time before they accept him. But I guess OOC is also unfortunately a part of Dramione :) I am glad you feel I am going at a good pace with the Dramione though and I hope that you feel the same in the coming chapters. :) thanks so nuch, I am glad to be back! I had horrible writers Block for a bit. :):)


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Review #2, by Chrissy Hermione the Hypocrite

21st October 2014:
So I've read your story before and out of all the chapters I think this is my absolute favorite. You honestly did a great job. I don't believe that Hermione is a hypocrite, I mean Ron made out with another girl just so he could get Hermione's attention!! That's not nice at all. Relationships fizzle out when both sides don't put in any effort. I don't think Hermione should get the blame for her failed relationship with Ron! I also think it's unfortunate that Ginny is taking his side as well. She should hear both of them out.

Finally onto Draco!! It's about time that there was some Dramione action going on :-) it's sweet and romantic how Draco just kissed her when she was crying. I think he might get slapped for that but I would love to see him respond in a calmer manner. I would love to see their relationship progress.

You're doing a phenomenal job!!! I'm super excited to read the upcoming chapters :-)

Author's Response: Hey Chrissy! I am so glad you like it. Yay!!! :) :) I am glad you like where I am going with the story. And don't worry, just read on and hopefully you will like things much better when things calm down between Ron and Hermione. :) thanks so much for reading and I hope you read more! :)

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Review #3, by mitzy Best To Go Our Separate Ways

13th October 2014:
Well darn... ron and Hermione are done for... you did a good job writing so far. I will come back for the other chapters later!

Author's Response: Yes they are :/ and thank you so much for coming and reviewing so many chapter, you are awesome! I hope you continue to like my story when you do start to read the rest!!!

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Review #4, by mitzy Nobody Likes a Liar

13th October 2014:
Well it certainly doesn't surprise me that she would do something like this. Draco should be DONE with her!

Author's Response: Yes and hopefully he will be for good!!!

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Review #5, by mitzy Black Robes and Roses

13th October 2014:
Well this was a good chapter. It gave me the feels for Pansy and her friends. It sucks though that Astoria is immature and couldn't see that they wanted to come respect Pansy.

Author's Response: I agree, it is pretty sad that Astoria is immature.. she should have seen that they were there for a good cause. How could she think that they were laughing at Pansy? Hermione was crying for her!

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Review #6, by mitzy Bad Timing

13th October 2014:
OH MY GOODNESS. ASTORIAS PREGO! This complicates things!!!

Author's Response: Yes doesn't it? I am glad you are still enjoying reading my story!

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Review #7, by mitzy Questions and Concerns

13th October 2014:
Poor Ron and Hermione.. :/ they were on this little date that had to be interrupted. I hope they find the person who did it soon!

Author's Response: Yes, they had to be interrupted, :/ oh well it was for a good cause.

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Review #8, by mitzy Pansy's Fate

13th October 2014:
Wow! That was an interesting twist. I like it! Of course I don't like that someone died but I like your ideas. I am enjoying reviewing your story

Author's Response: Well good, I am glad you enjoy it!!!

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Review #9, by mitzy These Cell Walls

13th October 2014:
Poor Narcissa... I know she deserves to be in there but I feel bad for her ya know? She made her own choices though.

Author's Response: I feel bad for her too. But she made her own choices, u are right!

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Review #10, by mitzy A Tough Investigation

13th October 2014:
Ohhh boy, I didn't see this coming. I honestly think it is crazy that Hermione would let Malfoy come to his mother's investigation because you would think he would freak out. But Hermione is quite bold and trusting so this doesn't surprise me

Author's Response: I agree, but I hope it goes okay. :) lol. Is Hermione making a mistake or will he be well behaved?

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Review #11, by mitzy Nightmares

13th October 2014:
So... Draco did something bad and it's coming back to haunt him. Well good! He deserves to live with the things he has done. After all he did make the choice to become a death eater and if I remember right he was quite excited to be

Author's Response: Yes I feel bad for him but I can def see what you mean. he should feel bad for what he did!

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Review #12, by mitzy Neighbors

13th October 2014:
This is going to get interesting. Hermione and Draco working together, ek. That is always a scary thing to think about. I am curious to know how their first asignment goes.

Author's Response: Yes it is quite scary to think about, isn't it? I am glad you are continueing to like my story!

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Review #13, by mitzy Letters from Lav

13th October 2014:
Well, I have decided to just review the whole story so far, so here I am. Ron is being a pig... of COURSE Hermione dislikes the fact that Ron is talking to Lavender. Good chapter~

Author's Response: hey mitzy! thanks so much for coming back and continueing to read. I am glad you like my story, and yes Ron is being a pig.

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Review #14, by mitsy Positive or Negative

13th October 2014:
I enjoyed this chapter very much. Your characterization of everyone is almost spot on and I love reading stories that are good with characterization. I can't wait to read more, you have a good idea here

Author's Response: thanks so much! thanks for reading!

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Review #15, by Moonyxluna Positive or Negative

12th October 2014:
Hi I'm here with your requested review!

This is the first Dramione I've read in ages, and the first one I've done a review request for. (I had them as a no-go in my old thread) Yay Milestones! heh.

Jumping right in, we've got Hermione at her and Ron's house waiting on a pregnancy test. She seems very much hoping for a negative (which yay she got!), so I'm curious why she so badly wants it to be negative.. interesting setup :) It's got me guessing right away.

Her narrowed eyes were focused on a -- saying 'her narrowed eyes' reads kind of awkward. Maybe change it to "her eyes narrowed at the potion sitting on the counter. or something.

This could probably go for a tiny punctuation cleanup. There were a few times where there were some extra commas and some commas where the sentence should end.

ooh, we've got some tension buildup if Ginny is hoping for a little one and Hermione isn't. :p It definitely says something about the state of Ron and Hermione's relationship/life together that she is so adamant about not wanting kids.

I'm making a little face to myself because I really easily get defensive of Lavender Brown, especially used as a plot point in breaking up Ron and Hermione. She was painted in the book to be annoying because we read her from Hermione/Harry's point of view, but all she really did was have feelings Ron. I do like here that you don't really have Hermione disliking her so much as just being wary of her and the situation that Ron is putting their relationship in. If Ron does end up ditching Hermione for her, make sure you write it as Ron's fault, not hers. ;)

I always love seeing Ginny and the rest of the Weasley family so confused about Muggle objects. So fun and so cute.

So Ron is very affected by the Malfoy getting out. He obviously gets upset when Hermione sides with giving Malfoy a second chance. I guess it's a little understandable considering what happened to her and how Malfoy acted around her, that Ron's instinct would be to protect her. It's interesting that he goes back to lovey towards her after that moment.

So that brings up characterization. I don't think you have anything to be worried about here. Hermione seemed a little bit on the dramatic side; just a touch.. some of the dialogue with her seemed not quite like what I think she'd say, so maybe watch a little with the way you word the things she says. I really liked Ginny, and Ron from the way he seemed to be very forward about his feelings towards Draco, and then (characterization/writing wise, not actions wise) how he shrank back when the letter came at the end.

We left at a little bit of a cliffhanger with the letter, which sets up quite nicely.

Interesting first chapter! You definitely have a good set up here for some shifting of feelings in upcoming chapters. Great work!

Julie

Author's Response: Hey Julie,
I thank you so much for coming by and giving me an amazing review. I am glad you think that I am doing well on characterization! I am glad you liked the chapter as a whole. :)
I will be back to re-request!


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Review #16, by crestwood Nobody Likes a Liar

9th October 2014:
Hello Lindsey! It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Astoria really wasn't acting very nice last chapter, but this chapter took things so much further, wow. At first, I thought it was just because her best friend just died, like she said. But, then we find out about her lying about her pregnancy.. and that started way before Pansy's murder. I can't believe she did that simply out of jealousy, that's a really horrible thing to do, in any situation.

And then she goes and accuses Draco of liking Hermione, (which I think he does) as if that's the heinous crime being done here. Uggh, I don't like her very much. You've really written one of those "so evil, they're interesting to read about" kind of characters. She seems to have no real conscience and only cares about herself. Draco is very right to be as mad as he is.

Hermione is so caring when it comes to Draco. I love her forgiving nature and how she's portrayed in this story. The way you write her makes Dramione seem a lot more viable than some other stories I've read. Great job on her characterization. I'm really glad they've decided to be friends. I love them in this. Another really good chapter!

- Joey

Author's Response: Hey Joey,

Thanks so much for stopping by! I am glad you enjoyed this chapter. Yes Astoria is not such a nice person in my story, but that's because in my head I see her as someone not unlike Umbridge lol. I just don't see her as a sweet girl like some people write her. I am glad you enjoyed it, I will be back to re request ;)


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Review #17, by thetrainridein Best To Go Our Separate Ways

12th September 2014:
good so far, keep it up x

Author's Response: Hey thank you so much! Will do:)

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Review #18, by thetrainridein Nobody Likes a Liar

5th August 2014:
I'm loving this story. The slow build is like urgh but in a good way- I'll be sure to keep reading !

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it and I hope you keep reading!!

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Review #19, by Meleessuhh Nobody Likes a Liar

4th August 2014:
Ooh I knew she was lying! And does this mean that this will be the beginning of their relationship? Good chapter, update soon! :)

Author's Response: Will do! Thank you so much and yes, they decided to be friends but that's it for now it's draco so it will take awhile :)

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Review #20, by crestwood Black Robes and Roses

10th July 2014:
I have no idea why Ron was so upset but I am definitely not on his side. He is acting extremely immature and I can't believe that he is actually angry at her for attending a funeral. I would've done the same. I think he is being downright immature. I love the slow pacing of Hermione and Draco's relationship. Astoria is falling over herself angry at her and Harry and Draco is just calmly thanking them for attending. It's awesome how realistic you've written this scene, considering I'd had never believed that I'd buy that kind of civil behavior between them all until I read it with my own eyes. I appreciate the pace and characterization of the story as a whole. This story is very well done and the plot has completely drawn me in now. Thank you for your request and be sure to let me know when you've uploaded more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for coming by and reviewing. I am so happy that you are liking everything so far. Yes, Astoria was her usual self at the funeral and Draco surprisingly was really nice. I am once again happy that you appreciate the pace of the story. :) Eeek, thanks so much for the amazing reviews and I will def be back to re-request!!!

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Review #21, by crestwood Bad Timing

10th July 2014:
Draco really does not seem to like Astoria very much. His feelings seem lackluster at best after she tells him she loves him and he's downright disappointed when she reveals that they're having a child. It's well within the realm of Hermione's personality to allow Draco the day off and even attend the funeral herself. I appreciate her forgiving nature more and more. The mystery of the murder is definitely interesting and fun to read. I hope things continue at this pace, you've got me interested.

Author's Response: Good, I am so glad you like the pace. my past stories really had a habit of being fast and I am really trying to improve! :D I am glad you are liking the plot as well.

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Review #22, by crestwood Questions and Concerns

10th July 2014:
I like that this chapter is giving us kind of a moment to rest, before you inevitably take us out of our comfort zone later in the story. I don't mind getting a bit more of Ron before Draco fully comes into the picture at all. I think a major flaw with most Dramione stories is their rushing directly into the ship, rather than building as you are doing here. Ron's a little harsh on Pansy in this chapter and on Hermione for calling Draco by his first name. He seems a bit callous, which I have always thought he could be at times. I really enjoy your take on these characters!

Author's Response: Hey there again. I am very happy you are still enjoying my characterization! That was a major flaw with my past stories and I tried to fix that!

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Review #23, by crestwood Pansy's Fate

10th July 2014:
I'm a little taken aback by Pansy's sudden death here! I imagine that it was a murder with a purpose. Someone trying to kill off all the old pureblood lines or something of the sort. I like Draco's point of view again in this chapter. It's so different experiencing his range of emotions when you're used to reading from the viewpoint of Hermione or Harry. You've given him a very solid voice in this story.

I did catch some mistakes here, but they're just harmless typos. In the sentence "As they approached Zabini had already disarmed the spells and was waiting nervously on the front steps." it should be written "As they approached, Zabini..." greatful and ungreatful should be grateful and ungrateful, no where should be nowhere, and rediculous should be ridiculous. None of this distracted from normal reading of course, as everything else is extremely well written. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you so much for complimenting my writing again. That makes my day and I am happy you are still liking it alot! Thanks for the CC! I will patch it up a bit ;)

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Review #24, by crestwood These Cell Walls

10th July 2014:
In addition to your excellent characterization of Draco, Hermione and Harry in this chapter, I really enjoy your portrayal of Narcissa here. I find that her character is hard to pin down as we don't see quite so much of her in the HP series, but I think you've pinpointed her motivations and attitude her well. I'm happy to see Draco and Hermione gaining a bit of understanding here as well. Very exciting stuff to read.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for continueing to read on! :) I am so glad that you like it still. I am especially happy that you feel I did good with detail!

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Review #25, by crestwood A Tough Investigation

10th July 2014:
I'm surprised Hermione even allowed Ron to stay at the flat at all. I feel as though he's going to mess up again and she'll break it off permanently. It was a nice touch to add in the scene we already witnessed from Draco's point of view here in this chapter. Draco and Hermione working together on his mother's case sounds like a promising storyline for sure. You've got me hooked!

Author's Response: Woohoo! You're hooked! I am so glad you like it!! I am always worried about what people think about my stories.

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