Reading Reviews for Dementor
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by kenpo Molly Weasley

18th April 2014:
They.

Oh man. This is going to be about her brothers, isn't it? Oh man. Will it end with Fred? Oh man. Uh oh. I'm really nervous.

AT LEAST ONE OF THE TWINS HAD TO DIE. HOW PREDICTABLE.

OH GOD. THAT LINE. It killed me. I'm so sad. I love those twins!!!

George's life would never be the same without his brother.

Why.

Really, why are you doing this to me?

YOU SHOULD BE SORRY, OKAY?

Deep breaths. Okay. Okay. Count to ten.

I'm better now.

Gosh, this made me FEEL! I really hate you a little bit, but I also love you because you're clearly an amazing writer.

All those details where you skirted around mentioning Fred's death... they all hit me so hard. Harder than if you'd actually made the comparison.

I always forget about those two. And how the older kids would've really known their uncles, and how Molly had brothers that she lost. It's so sad. And horrible. And sad. And lots of things that I can't even really describe right now.

I'm sorry. This review is so lame, but all I can really say is that this writing was beautiful and heartbreaking and amazing.

Who is next? Helena!! That should be interesting!! I'm excited!!

-Georgia
-Huffleclaw/Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: You knew before you started how this would make you feel. You chose to read it.

The obvious worst memory would be Fred, but we already know what happened there and it has been written many times. There was also the sibling's challenge that gave me the idea for this. So it's her worst memory for a long time, at least until- You know how that sentence finishes.

I love them too, but I have this thing for hinting at what we know will happen to work at people's emotions - saying it straight out is really hard to make it really work and have so much impact at this.

I love you too. You'd read the first two chapters, you knew what would happen... Thank you so much! You don't really think about characters until you've really read something about them and got more of an idea of who they are - in fact these are some of my more well-known characters that I've found and written (ever heard of Nobby Leach? He was a great politician struggling against corruption... He is one of JK's creations, but one you probably don't recognise. Anyway, back on topic...).

Yep, in the HP books they were just names - "Gideon and Fabian Prewett, original Order of the Pheonix, killed in the first Wizarding War". They had friends and relatives. The Weasleys always cared a lot for family. They were favourite uncles.

It's not lame! You've got my day off to an amazing start - thank you! I'm saying thank you a lot, but I mean it - it's such a lovely surprise to wake up to, especially as there are three of them!

Yep, Helena. More of a recovery one, maybe, so people don't leave crying - a bit more action, less doing my best to rip your heart into millions of pieces :P. Yep, sorry, I do it on purpose.

Seriously? Why do I keep writing responses longer than the original reviews? I'm just going to set up a MTA and be done with it... Post it, Leonore! Stop waffling!

- Leonore


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Review #2, by kenpo Luna Lovegood

18th April 2014:
Awww, crap. I was right.

Lemme go get some tissues.

That wasn't a very nice greeting, was it? Let's try again:

Hello! I'm back for chapter two!

I love the idea of writing the words in the air. That's really cool.

This is so sad. I can't use my words very well right now. This is just too sad.

It's so awful that she thinks she could've helped her mother if she'd acted quickly enough. She did exactly the right thing - she went and got her Dad. But she's too young to see that, and it's really heartbreaking.

Hmmm...this is sort of painting a picture of a rather lonely childhood for Luna. I can see that she has loving parents, but I can also see a father in his room and a mother in her's, and Luna all alone looking forward to the next time she'd get to see one of her parents.

The repetition of "Mummy isn't here" and "Mummy isn't coming back" is really heartbreaking. Why are you doing this to me?

Awww, you brought Ginny into it! That's a really nice touch that I wouldn't have ever thought of. And then Molly is there and she's helping out. Molly would do that.

This was so sad.

And then the painting at the end... and lunch! All of these things... it's too late for me to properly process my emotions, and next up is Molly and if it's Fred, I swear I might yell at you for making me feel so sad.

But... this is a really amazing story. If I yell, it's only because I can't handle my emotions. It doesn't make this story any less beautifully written and it doesn't make you any less of an amazing writer.

I don't know if I mentioned it, but your username REALLY fits with your writing style. Leonore, like poetry (hmmm wonder why poetry comes to mind...), like gold paint. Leonore.

I... I might eventually want to name an OC Leonore. Tell me if that's not alright with you.

Okay! I'm rambling! I'm sorry!

-Georgia
-Huffleclaw/Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: That was a lovely greeting! Just the effect I want my story to have on people - yes, maybe I am an evil person like that.

I think her childhood might have been a bit lonely - that's why she was so good at amusing herself, because she spent quite a bit of time alone - but her mother was very hands-on when she WAS there, which was as much of the day as she could spare (she probably spent a couple of hours a day experimenting). They had their private games, their walks, learning to read, and all the drawing and painting pictures. No doubt there were all kinds of fantastical stories told with different voices for all the characters. It's when she loses her mother that it becomes really lonely, because she's on her own for far more than just a few hours a day.

If you value your heart, steer clear of my stories! My goal is to affect people like this (yes, I do upset myself when I write).

I very rarely end my stories at the lowest point - I couldn't do that to my characters (nothing about my readers...). I'm not sure how I thought of Ginny, but they were friends when they came to Hogwarts and I couldn't imagine Xenophilus and Luna managing without anyone. Oh, I remember - I read another story where Luna came to play with Ginny but the accident had just happened- anyway, that's how I thought of Ginny and Molly being there.

Molly and Fred... um... well as you've already read it you know exactly what I did to you...

Thank you so much! So long as she's a nice person (and not a Mary Sue), of course name a character Leonore! (especially if you direct your readers at my stories :P )

I'm so sorry I hurt you (not really) - thanks again - I'm reading this in the morning, so you've just set me up for a great day!

- Leonore


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Review #3, by kenpo Dolores Umbridge

18th April 2014:
Hello!!

Before I start, I want to say that it's really awesome that you're writing a sympathetic Umbridge. I thought about attempting it once for a challenge, but I ended up changing my characters. But that's okay, because I really like the story I ended up writing. But... wow. You've chosen to dig into what turned Dolores into Umbridge. Respect!

Wow. I LOVE that you mention that people said that the sorting was a mistake. In the fandom, for a lot of people her being a Slytherin is such an obvious choice... it's really cool that you added that.

The clothes labels is SO cruel!! Girls can be so mean. That's so sad.

Her apprehension with seeing Madam Pomfrey and not knowing how she'll react is really telling to hat's going on inside her head. I like that you said ho she doesn't want pity - a lot of people think that people "give themselves eating disorders" for all the attention, but that's so often not the case.

As she starts to starve herself, it felt like a realistic progression.

Very sad, but also unfortunately realistic.

The fact that at first, she attempts to lose weight in a healthier way (by eating salad), but then is made fun of for even that is heartbreaking. Those kids are relentless. I've noticed that another review said that they wished they would've seen interatctions, but I think I like that we never actually see it. This way, it's almost like we are Dolores. We've all met that girl, and we've all had times that somebody just won't stop picking on us for exactly what we're most sensitive about in that moment. Leaving it up to the imagination lets the reader make these bullies whoever they want.

You've repeated the paragraph that starts "I found the empty potion bottle" twice.

This was really really well written. You did a great job exploring not only a sensitive and complex topic, but such a character!!

I really enjoyed how to portrayed Madam Pomfrey. She would've been a lot younger, so different, but I also think it's cool to see her from the POV of a girl.

I've both struggled with eating problems and been close to people that have, and you really wrote this forgivingly, understandably, and with compassion. This chapter had a wide open heart, and you covered the topic with a lot of respect.

Overall, this was really fantastic, and I'm lookin g forward to the next chapter! Luna... it'll be about her mother, won't it? Oh gosh. Wish me luck!!

-Georgia
-Huffleclaw/Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: Just popped on for a minute and- wow! Umbridge was a bit of a challenge, because however much she appears in the third back we still don't really know anything about her. Having written Patronus (with its Umbridge/Fudge "romance"), I'd thought about her a bit and realised what would make a person like that - being bullied. The story came from there.

The sorting was definitely right, in fact I think she was MORE of a Slytherin than most of the girls who bullied her - she wanted to be better than the others, especially the ones who laughed at her, and I think I hinted that she didn't have an extremely happy home life - no doubt she was bullied before Hogwarts as well.

I'm just going to say I have any personal experience with eating disorders, so it's so reassuring to see that people who do agree with the way I portrayed it. I do respect people who suffer from it, because I really doubt its something done deliberately.

You do like it without the interactions? I wondered a little after that other review you mentioned, but I like it like this. It's a combination of not really thinking I'd be able to write realistic scenes and also wanting to get across that this isn't just one occasion - it's all day, every day, from everyone, so it all blurs together.

Oops! Thanks for pointing that out - I thought I'd fixed it but apparently not; I have now! Copy and paste related...

Thank you so much! It's one of those chapters where I got halfway then looked back and thought "is it right to just guess at this?" I decided to check a passage with the staff so that reassured me in terms of ToS at least, but it's only these reviews that let me feel that I did do it right.

As you've already R&R'd the next chapter (squee!), it's a bit late to wish you luck. I'm afraid my goal in this series it to really make the reader feel - I'm cruel like that.

Thanks again for reviewing!

- Leonore


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Review #4, by greenbirds Dolores Umbridge

20th February 2014:
Hey! I'm here form the Ravenclaw Review Battle.
This was a really interesting and thought-provoking piece. My best friend was diagnosed with anorexia a few years ago, so this struck quite a chord; she was never bullied or taunted like Dolores was though.
I really enjoyed reading this, you have a fantastic style of writing and you manage to really capture what Dolores is thinking and more importantly, feeling. It's an interesting take on her character, I've read her as being madly in love with Barty Crouch and then alternatively being a lesbian, but I've never read her as fighting an eating disorder! That's creative, and you pulled it off really well.
My only criticism is that maybe you could inject some descriptions to really make the images and scenes you paint more vivid? Maybe also, some interactions with the meaner girls, or interactions with boys.
Also, I'd like to point out that you typed this twice:
"I found the empty bottle in your bag - anything else I should know about? Other than that you haven't been eating." Madam Pomfrey scolded her gently, and it took Dolores a second to realise what she was referring to - the weight loss potion! She'd never managed to get rid of the bottle.

To conclude, a brilliant piece and I look forward to reading more of your work! Bea xx

Author's Response: I don't have any personal links to this kind of eating disorder, so I was a little nervous of what people who did might think. I'm glad you say it struck a chord, as you must know better than me what it's like.

I've never actually managed to find another Umbridge fanfic, apart from maybe as a minor character (haven't really looked, tbh). Those other takes sound interesting - Barty Crouch? I've written her with Fudge, though (set just before OotP). Honestly, though, I think everything with Umbridge in would have to be creative because it takes a lot for someone to end up like that and to make people not hate her.

I was a bit wary of description, as when I checked with staff about whether this would meet TOS the response was that reference was fine but glorification and detail were definitely not. I do see what you mean, and I toyed with actual interactions but they didn't want to come when I was writing (I just put whatever feels natural, often don't even read back before posting) so I didn't bother trying to force it - I just do this for fun, not really seriously (time spent researching begs to differ - obsessive compulsive).

Did I? I'll have to go back and sort that - there was probably some copying and pasting involved.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #5, by anonymous Molly Weasley

19th February 2014:
Please update as soon as you possibly can, I am obsessed with this story x

Author's Response: I've got the final chapter planned, but I need to get in the mood to write it (you can't do depression and misery if you're happy and hyper!) Next few days, hopefully. Thank you for reviewing.

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Review #6, by megan Luna Lovegood

19th February 2014:
awk wee luna! luv this, 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #7, by anonymous Dolores Umbridge

19th February 2014:
I feel like it's really out of character but I like it because it's as if there's a whole new side to Umbridge that was never shown in the books. Keep up the amazing work!!!

Author's Response: Well there must be another side because no-one would be born like she ends up. Her character changes a lot - even after this point, when she begins working. Thanks for reviewing.

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Review #8, by Laura Molly Weasley

19th February 2014:
I love this story, even though it tears me up inside.

Author's Response: Thank you! The Fred Weasley hints sneaked in, and I went "no" and then "yes" and "I hate myself" but they had to be there. Thanks for reviewing - even one sentence means a lot.

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Review #9, by befuddledbroomsticks Molly Weasley

19th February 2014:
Maybe I'm an emotional wreck after reading this and maybe I'm in tears but oh my goodness you have a gift! This was fabulously written.

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much, it's late and I'm tired but you have just made my day in two sentences. Honestly, I'm just re-reading that review again and again and it is so encouraging, because I can't help worrying about my stories until someone comes along and gives me a review like that. This is why I write, why I post on this site, and I am writing too much now but I do mean it - Thank you!

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Review #10, by befuddledbroomsticks Luna Lovegood

19th February 2014:
This was beautifully written, but now I'm terribly emotional and I'm just gonna go cry.

Author's Response: I'm sorry, I'm so cruel to be happy but my dream is to be able to affect people like this.

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Review #11, by befuddledbroomsticks Dolores Umbridge

19th February 2014:
This was excellent! I couldn't stop reading.

Author's Response: Thank you! An absolutely gorgeous surprise waiting when I logged on after a short break.

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Review #12, by Emily Dolores Umbridge

19th February 2014:
Wow, I thought I hated her but now I can't bring myself to. You're very talented :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I understand how you feel - I hated her until I started writing.

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