Reading Reviews for Unlikely
18 Reviews Found

Review #1, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 3: At the Gryffindor Table

3rd March 2014:
This is such a strong start to a story. You cannot believe how happy I was to see 'It is the summer before fifth year when our story truly starts.' Romance should not be attempted while the characters are still too young, it can be quite creepy. So what the author has to do, if they want to tell an engaging story is fill it full of something else, usually drama, action and adventure. But what if nothing like that needs to occur or should occur (how many times was your life threatened at school)? Of course you can write stories like this (JK certainly did) but if you are writing a romance then the best thing to do is just skip most of the early years, anything important can be revealed to great effect during flashbacks.

But the sorting was important to establish as was the immediate fallout. So these first three chapters have been initial meeting, sorting and now beginning of friendship. Very strong stuff.

I love the dialogue - very believable and true. I'm glad Rose spoke up more in this chapter you start to get a sense of what her character may become.

I loved the fact that the first card Scorpius got was Rose's mum. It's a nice touch and led on beautifully into subjects you wanted to touch upon - the other Griffindors wanting some sort of clarification about his 'Malfoyness'.

Zabini is a great character to throw into the usual Rose?Albus?Scorpius mix. She adds a strength of purpose to the group that can often times be lacking.

Zabini has the strength.
Albus has determination.
Rose has a purpose.
And poor, lost little Scorpius may have just found what he needed.

Looking forward to the story proper stating with the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I absolutely agree that these children are too young to have any real "romance", but I did feel that it was really important to establish how they became friends. I'm so glad that you enjoyed these chapters and hope that you enjoy the rest of the story! :)

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Review #2, by 800 words of heaven Chapter 4: A Day in Diagon Alley

2nd March 2014:

It's so wonderful to see how close the four of them have become! I'm so sad that James is still so prejudiced, but at least he doesn't hate his brother for being in Slytherin. It's understandable and quite realistic that they've drifted apart, though. I imagine it would have happened if Albus had been Sorted into any other House - not constantly seeing someone can create such divides. It sucks doubly that Albus is in Slytherin.

Go figure that Gypsy is hyperactive! I can totally see that precocious eleven-year-old turning into this crazy little ball of energy in four years!

OMG I'm from Australia, so I got so excited reading about Australian Quidditch! As with every sport in Australia, I can imagine no one else in the world being interested in us, as mean as that sounds. Green and gold robes sound perfect, though!

And a budding romance between Scorpius and Rose? So exciting! ScoRose is like one of my ultimate OTPs, so I'm dying to know how their relationship develops :D

Hope to be back soon :)

Author's Response: I couldn't help but throw in the thing about the Australian Quidditch teams being from Australia too! It's alluded to in Quidditch Through the Ages but not too much information about it. :( James still has some growing up to do. He's part way there.

Thank you so much for your reviews. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me your thoughts on my story. Next chapter is in the queue. :)

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Review #3, by 800 words of heaven Chapter 3: At the Gryffindor Table

2nd March 2014:
Gypsy seems wise beyond her years - not a bad thing, but I wonder if people gave her grief for being an insufferable know-it-all whilst she waited to grow into it.

James still needs to chill out. Maybe he has in the years since these first three chapters. One can hope, right? And will Regina head down the road of enemies-turned-friends? I can see their dynamic becoming more... complex as the years go on, that's for sure! I'm very excited to see where you take those two strangely prejudiced people.

And yayayayayay! TIME JUMP! Woohoo! Heading onto chapter four to see what's been going on for the past four years :)

Author's Response: Watch out for James and Genie - they'll definitely have a story to tell! In a few chapters time (can't remember which one exactly) we'll find out why they hate each other so much.

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Review #4, by 800 words of heaven Chapter 2: Unexpected Sortings

2nd March 2014:
Continuing on!

Aww! I feel so bad for Scorpius. He really just wants people to leave him alone and not hate him for his name, doesn't he? Did he have many friends before Hogwarts, I wonder? He seems close to his cousins, so I guess that's something.

It's very sweet and, er... Gryffindor of Rose to realise how much Scorpius needs a friend in the House. James really needs to chill out, but I guess there wouldn't be a story without some drama, and James is shaping up to be quite the drama queen :P

Ah, Albus! Good for him for following his own counsel! He's wanted to be in Gryffindor for as long as he can remember, but he feels that Slytherin could offer him a better chance. And what a scheming Sorting Hat, haha! So manipulative!

Onward to chapter three :)

Author's Response: Poor Scorpius, but I do think it would be hard for him to get people to see past his family name. James is definitely going to cause some issues for them in the future! I think that, throughout Harry's time at Hogwarts the Hat was always encouraging inter-house unity and I wouldn't put it past him to try to enforce it more in the future. As a Slytherin myself, I certainly know the stigma that comes with telling people you're a Slytherin!Hopefully Albus can convince people that Slytherins are not all evil, and bridge the gaps between the houses. :)

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Review #5, by 800 words of heaven Chapter 1: The Hogwarts Express

2nd March 2014:
Heya! I'm here to review this for the Gryffindor/Slytherin Blackout Bingo!

Well, that was awkward. What a way to start your story! I don't often read stories which start right after the epilogue but I really like this so far. poor Scorpius! He seems like a quiet kid who just wants to read his book and not advertise to the world that he's a Malfoy! It makes feel a little sad for him. And for a twelve-year-old, Rose is pretty clued in to what happens around her. Albus is believably lost in comparison, which makes him quite endearing and cute! James needs to work on his prejudices, I think :P

Interesting start - see you next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your reviews! It made my day to wake up and see four new reviews for my story! You've summed up all my characters perfectly - I tried to make sure that all of them had room for growth throughout the story.:)

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Review #6, by DraconisScarlet3792 Chapter 3: At the Gryffindor Table

23rd February 2014:
This is exactly what they need for old prejudices to die. After people get used to others where they normally would not be, it becomes the new normal.

Author's Response: My thoughts exactly :)

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Review #7, by HEG Chapter 3: At the Gryffindor Table

22nd February 2014:
So is it over? That's a shame, I thought that there would be a bit more. Never mind though, I'll be reading the book about them being in fifth year for sure! I think that Gypsy is hiding a secret or something; I don't think she's what she seems.

Author's Response: Not over, the story continues... just don't feel that a lot can really happen romantically when they are this young, but I wanted to introduce them at this age as the way that they became friends will be important to the story. The next chapter will be set in fifth year when the relationships can really develop. :)

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Review #8, by HEG Chapter 2: Unexpected Sortings

22nd February 2014:
I find the sorting chapters really interesting. Everyone does different houses for different people. I love your take on it. I put Scorpious in Gryffindor in too and Scorpious wasn't happy about it!
Very interesting,
HEG :)

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! :) I like Scorpius as a Gryffindor - being in Slytherin is too cliche!

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Review #9, by HEG Chapter 1: The Hogwarts Express

22nd February 2014:
The story summary interested me so I decided to read this. I love the bit where Gypsy comes along and I love the description of Zabini's voice being poisonous. I really could imagine that scene. Ooh I forgot that Rose and Albus were cousins, you would expect them to be best friends arriving then split off in different directions.
A good chapter, keep writing like you do!
HEG :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your reviews! I really appreciate you taking the time to give me your feedback. :)

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Review #10, by Emily Chapter 3: At the Gryffindor Table

21st February 2014:
The ending was amazing, I like how you've arranged it. Lovely chapter :)

Author's Response: Thank you! So glad that you liked it. :)

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Review #11, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 2: Unexpected Sortings

21st February 2014:
You did update quick-smart - thanks, that's great.

I've seen plenty of stories with Albus going to Slytherin, but this is the first (I've seen anyway) which has Scorpius in Gryffindor. It's not a bad premise to build a story upon.

I do think Albus should have/would have defended James a little bit - something along the lines of "Well, normally he's a nice guy but James can be a pr!ck" or "was being a pr!ck on the train to you" or something like that.

Very much liked the line :-

"That remains to be seen, I guess," Albus answered.

It's strong and resolute and shows Albus' strength of character well.

Loved the Rose/Scorpius interaction (that's what I'm here for after all).

Author's Response: Thanks, I do try to get my updates as quick as possible as I hate waiting for new chapters! I like to think that Albus is a blend of Slytherin and Gryffindor, and that the lines between the houses are a bit more blurred than they were in Harry's time.
Glad you enjoyed it! :)

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Review #12, by killjoy Chapter 2: Unexpected Sortings

19th February 2014:
Already can tell I'm not going to be a James Potter fan in this story lol. Great chapters so far.

Author's Response: Flawed characters are the most fun! Glad you like it. :)

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Review #13, by befuddledbroomsticks Chapter 2: Unexpected Sortings

19th February 2014:
This is really good, and Scorpius is just the cutest thing. Update soon please!

Author's Response: I do adore Scorpius! Will do. :)

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Review #14, by The Ghost Of His Last Laugh Chapter 2: Unexpected Sortings

19th February 2014:
Aw, poor little Scorpius! I like the change up in houses.

Author's Response: Poor Scorpius indeed! He'll be okay though, he's right where he's supposed to be!

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Review #15, by The Ghost Of His Last Laugh Chapter 1: The Hogwarts Express

19th February 2014:
I liked it! Definitely a good grab for the reader's attention.

Author's Response: Thank you!

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Review #16, by oldershouldknowbetter Chapter 1: The Hogwarts Express

19th February 2014:
This is an excellent start. It would have been nice to have Albus stand up to his brother and defend Gypsy but I don't think it would have rung true.
Rose should have at least muttered a hello but overall little to criticize.
I can see this story going a number of ways from here, even with the title/intro giving away the central thrust of the overall story's plot. Looking forward to any way it goes.
Please update soon.

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your review!

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Review #17, by befuddledbroomsticks Chapter 1: The Hogwarts Express

19th February 2014:
A good start, and Gypsy seems sassy which has made this chapter like 100x better. All I could advise is having more monologue instead of basically all of it being dialogue, but other than that it was fabulous. Update soon!

Author's Response: Gypsy is everything I wish I could be! I'll keep the monologue thing in mind... I do have a tendency to do one or the other a bit! Thanks for your reviews. :)

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Review #18, by Emily Chapter 1: The Hogwarts Express

19th February 2014:
I like it, it's got a really interesting plot already! The only thing is, it could have more detail on events like when James comes in or whatever but that's only my opinion. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it. :)

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