Reading Reviews for Game Over
  
108 Reviews Found

Review #1, by moonbaby11 One

1st August 2015:
Hey! I'm here from the review swap at the forums :)

I was immediately intrigued by the concept of this story. I'm sure by now nearly half the members of the archive have attempted the 'Every Word Counts' challenge, but I've never seen anyone try and accomplish it over multiple chapters. Now that is what I call a real challenge and, from what I've seen so far in this chapter, it looks like you will be successful.

You throw the reader right into the midst of the action, which is important when you only have so few words to write with, and leave them guessing the whole time. I assume that's partly to do with the word limit - you can't very well have time to write a huge backstory when you only have 500 words - but with the James Bond-ish plot you seem to have going I think the air of mystery really works.

I'm very intrigued by this and I will most likely be back to read and review the remaining chapters because I need to know where this story goes! This is a great job and I applaud you for undertaking this very big challenge.

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Review #2, by rosiful Six

12th July 2015:
Aww that was a nice wrap-up to this story! I was very worried something really bad/devastating was going to happen. But I'm very glad that you ended on a happy note. I think them becoming partners together is a very cute idea. I imagine James would be very good in the Private Magical Security Service, since he knows exactly how the criminal mind works. I like that they pinned everything on Matt, I mean, he was going to kill Dann and then pin everything on James, so why not take this way out? I still have quite a few unanswered questions, but I guess since it's the end of the story, I use my own imagination as to why certain things happened. You did answer basically every major plot point though, it's just minor things I'm wondering about.

This was an amazing story to read, and I honestly can't believe what you've achieved! 500 words per chapter for a whole story? That's crazy! But it does show how gifted you are as an author. Thank you for the great read!

Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad you thought the story wrapped up nicely. It was REALLY hard to get everything to come together in the last chapter. This was supposed to be only 5 chapters long, but I just couldn't fit everything into five. I had to go for one more. It's okay. Next time I do this, it will have a tighter plot... I hope.

Thanks so much for coming to read my story and leave me all these awesome reviews!

Pix


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Review #3, by rosiful Five

12th July 2015:
Wait... I'm a little confused after this chapter, Matt IS Dann's brother? Or did he murder her brother? I sort of think the latter, otherwise it would just be so cold and malicious to arrange this massive scheme to have her killed and to pin it on James, but I guess it's still cold for an ex-partner as well? And why did he set this whole thing up for James anyway? Hasn't he been working for him (at least that's the impression I got)? Or maybe he is aware that James wants out, and therefore Matt is tying up loose ends so that he can't be blamed for anything... Hmmm.. this is definitely an interesting situation you brought! I am so intrigued to find out how all of this wraps up. I can't believe there's only another 500 words in this story!

Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hey, yeah. This is where my plot started running away from me and I tried to reel it in. Next time I do one of these story formats, I need to remember to have a tighter plot. I think I was trying to juggle too many things at this point. It's definitely my weakest chapter as far as cohesiveness.

Matt could turn into a really cool villain, but alas, I have no more words.

Thanks for coming back again!

Pix


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Review #4, by rosiful Four

12th July 2015:
This was a definitely surprising chapter. It was as exciting and traumatic all at once! You are very good at writing mysteries and keeping suspense, I feel like this story has so many twists and turns that I don't even realise until they actually happen! I am glad a few things did get cleared up in this chapter though, so James is a very shady character and does want to change his ways, and Dann IS an auror (well I'm pretty sure she is..). I also finally understand why she cast 'riddikulus' at James when she first saw him, because running into Matt is one of her biggest fears. I wonder what happened between them? UNLESS, is Matt now James' leader? He really did go rouge?
Hmmm... so many questions.

I'm also so glad that James didn't actually kill Harry. I was very worried for a moment then!

Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Woot for surprises!!

I tried to put a twist into every chapter and keep people guessing. Mostly I think I succeeded because I very very loosely planned this thing, so even I didn't know what was coming next. I figured that if I was surprised, someone else might be too.

All the speculations, I love it!

Thanks for coming back to the story!

Pix


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Review #5, by rosiful Three

12th July 2015:
I'm back again! And this was another very interesting and engaging chapter. I think as I'm reading this story I'm getting more and more questions about what is going on! Which, rather than being frustrating, it's quite exciting! I wonder why Dann so suddenly decided to help James? And James I'm starting to suspect isn't actually a spy/bad guy. Maybe Matt is? Since the tooth had a traceable charm on it, I'm guessing that's why he appeared, because he knew someone was going to steal it? I honestly have no clue. I can see it going either way, but I am very, very eager to find out exactly what you have in store for these characters!

Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hey, you're back!

This seems to be a convenient story to read since all the chapters are so short. I love it when people take the time to read all the way through my stories. Hmm... maybe I should write more of these short little things...

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

Pix


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Review #6, by rosiful Two

11th July 2015:
This was quite exciting to read! There's still so much I don't know and so much mystery about James, I feel like I have more questions now than I did in the first chapter! So are Dann and Matt work partners? Like aurors or something? That's the impression I am getting at the moment. And Matt went rogue? But maybe he didn't, and was just captured and now they are using his face for all their not-so-legal jobs? This is just so fascinating, it's honestly amazing how you've managed to create so much in such few words. I'm dying to know more about James' organisation and why they want him to steal the Basilisk tooth and why they will kill them for failing this task! Has he failed a task in the past or something and this is now his final shot/warning?

So many questions.. but I can not wait to find out all the answers!

Rosiful
-Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hi again!

The thing about mysteries is that there's this balance between knowing and not knowing and when you reveal the information. It was fun to try and figure out how far I could push the suspense without getting readers upset at me. Hopefully you weren't upset... were you? lol

Thanks for another great review!

Pix


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Review #7, by rosiful One

11th July 2015:
Wow, 500 words in every chapter? That must be a very difficult task you've set yourself! I think you've done incredibly well with it though, you've jumped us straight into the story and into the action and managed to tell us so much with so little words, but still kept us intrigued. This is such a great first chapter that I'm very excited to read more and to figure out what is going on!

I'm guessing James is part of a very shady not-so-legal organisation, that he's trying to get out of? I'm not really sure, but I'm quite fascinated! This is a James story like I've never read before, and I'm intrigued to find out how he got to this place, and what's going to happen next!

I also wonder why the lady cast Riddikulus at him, it doesn't seem like the right spell for the situation, and it's also quite a bit dangerous shouting any spell like that in a muggle venue, even if none of them are around!

I'm excited to read more!

-Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hi there!

It was a difficult challenge, but the 500 word limit forced me to find the right words and convey the relevant information, even though my brain was trying to think up all kinds of other things to put in the story. I'm glad it drew you in!

Yes, wonder about the Riddikulus. This was written for a challenge where I had to use that spell three times. Why would anyone do that??

Thanks for the happy review!

Pix


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Review #8, by oldershouldknowbetter Two

11th July 2015:
Another review for the House Cup 2015 and representing Ravenclaw.

So we now switch POV's and it is getting even more thrillerish. They are all undercover agents at the very least and this girl is on the right side of the law one would presume from the ...
for the man everyone else thought had gone rogue.
. Whether James is strictly on the right side of the law is still up on the air - we all certainly hope he is but ...


The evidence so far looks doubtful - how would he just happen to have a polyjusce capsule of a missing man?

The woman takes control of the situation and forces James out of the way of prying eyes. She is upset about her missing partner and coupled with the reaction from James it disarms her and allows her to be literally disarmed by James.

Oh dear, he is not exactly on the side of the angels is he, being interrupted committing a heist. Though the fact that it wasn't of his devising, knowing that we do not know what the contents of the note are exactly (it could threaten friends and family); leaves us the hope that James is a charming rogue.

He turns the table on his captor and in a da-da-Dah moment reveals that they are both likely dead and so must steal a Basilisk tooth together. We know form the books that even an old Basilisk tooth is very powerful and could be put to nefarious use in the wrong hands.

You have kept the excitement levels up and us wanting more.

Andrew,
Olsershouldknowbetter.

Author's Response:

Hi again!

Yay for the thriller-feel! These first few chapters were easier to wrangle than the ones coming up. I learned that once I put things into motion, they started getting harder and harder to juggle with the minimum word count. I'll know better next time if I ever do this format again.

No, no one is exactly good or bad here. That's no fun to have cut and dry characters like that anyway. But alas, I wasn't able to go into too much detail because of the word count.

Why did I do this again? I can't remember.

Anyway, thanks for coming to read my story again! I hope you got to finish it.

Pix


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Review #9, by oldershouldknowbetter One

11th July 2015:
OK, and Hi there - here for a bit of House Cup 2015 shenanigans and for Ravenclaw.

Looking around for someone to review and here is one of my favourite people yet again, so I get to review more of your wonderful stuff. The more I rad of your stuff, the more I have faith in you as a beta - you are not a bad writer at all and I have enjoyed all of your stories that I have read.

This tale certainly hits the ground running.

James Sirius Potter, and not his usual oh-so-charming, school-boy fun-loving prankster. This is good, I like to see where people take the next gen characters, because there is so much space for you to take them.

And what do we have here, could he possibly be ... a spy? It might not be, he might be involved in something else (dare I say not entirely legal) which would necessitate someone breaking into his place and stealing all of his stuff. But spy would be interesting, or at least as an undercover agent for the ministry.

But all you've done is give us tantalising hints. His wand's gone, but all he has left is a potion in a pill - presumably polyjuice potion in a capsule. That's so very spy-ish and such a good little addition to reinforce the genre.

I don't really get where the other wand came from: was it on him and he dropped it in the restroom; was it planted there by his enemies; or was it from that mysterious woman? Or will we find out, only subsequent chapters will tell.

Speaking of whom, her introduction is well done. It looks like it is a complication, something that will de-rail the smooth progress of his path to the resolution of his troubles - just like a good spy movie.

That all the chapters are short, and that you have had to therefore rein in any excess words, keeps it tight and does give your readers a sense of urgency that I'm sure you wanted to impart.

Well, I better go on to the next.

Andrew,
Oldershouldknowbetter.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for the kuddos! I hadn't ever tried writing an all out suspense thing before, but I'd recently read some James Patterson novels and I wanted to try that short, puncy scene thing that he does. And why not do it with as few words as possible?

Because I'm insane like that. LOL!

There are some things that just had to be implied because of the word constraint. You found several, I see. Hopefully it will make sense as you move through the story. If not, well, I tried.

Thanks for checking this out!

Pix


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Review #10, by BellaLestrange87 Four

19th May 2015:
Hello! I'm back again!

This was a very surprising chapter. I definitely wasn't expecting anything that happened in this chapter - you completely surprised me there, so kudos to you. I thought that Matt - the real one - had shown up, not somebody pretending to be Harry Potter.

I'm really looking forward to finding out who this person is. I feel that it's going to be somebody James knows, and at the same time I'm glad - very glad - that it's not Harry who's dying. At the end of the day, he deserves better than to be accidentally be killed by his own son.

This "Silent Thief": how did James get the name? Also, how did Dann automatically know that James was James, and not Albus? Unless something happened to Albus - say, he died before this story - Harry has more than one son.

This was another excellent chapter, and I can't wait to find out what the final two have in store!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yay for surprises! I think the reason that the surprises worked so well was that I had no idea where my muse was going with this until after I wrote it. I guess if I surprise myself, I have a better chance of surprising the readers. :)

Yeah, I was very glad that it wasn't Harry dying either. Because, that would be bad. It's no fun to kill off Harry in any story. Especially by his own son.

Oh, so many questions! I didn't get to them all, but I did get to some. I hope you keep reading and tell me if the ending was satisfying enough for you.

Thanks again for coming back to this story!

Pix


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Review #11, by BellaLestrange87 Three

3rd May 2015:
I'm back for another chapter!

I wonder why Dann decided to help James and didn't simply give him his wand back. I know that she wants to find out more about Matt, but I feel like she could've just given him the wand back and let him do all the dirty work by himself. Now, if anything happens (which it did) she'll be implicated too.

Now that James knows he's stealing from wizards I want to know who sent him there to steal the Basilisk Tooth. Also, why wizards would put a Basilik Tooth in a muggle museum. They obviously knew that it was magical, and that it would be protected. I want to know, also, who James is stealing from.

And now Matt is back! This is getting more and more interesting the further I get. Why is he just coming back now? Was he the one who set James up? Is he the one James is stealing from? I feel like the next chapter will reveal a lot of this, as well as Matt's relationship - platonic or not - with Dann, and where he disappeared to.

This was (another) really good chapter!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, why did Dann decide to help James? Hmm... I'm sure I wrote that on purpose, but it was last year, so... brain fuzzy.

So many questions! So little time! I hope I wrote a convincing enough ending for this, so maybe some of your questions will be quelled by the end.

And yes, there he is, the man of the hour! Matt, himself... or is it??

Thanks for another lovely review!


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Review #12, by BellaLestrange87 Two

1st May 2015:
I'm back for another chapter!

I really enjoyed getting into the perspective of the woman and finding out what she's thinking. I'm really enjoying trying to guess what's happened to Matt, and why Dann is so concerned about him. It sounds like he'd been kidnapped or abducted after going rogue (going rogue from what? Just like last chapter I have all these questions.) and Dann is really concerned about him.

Speaking of Dann, she sounds a bit like she's in love with Matt, or otherwise really close to him, because she nearly broke down crying when thinking about whether he'd been murdered. I think it's a bit more complicated than that, judging by her initial reaction last chapter, but I'm not sure.

I think that James' ease in taking her wand shows a lot. The organization that he's doing this for is probably criminalistic in nature, because I don't think that most normal wizards would be able to disarm Dann that easily. From the beginning of the chapter she sounds like a skilled witch. Not many people would be able to recognize the signs that someone had taken Polyjuice Potion. (Just think how different things could have gone if Dumbledore had recognize Barty Crouch in GoF!) And the fact that she said she forgot to react adds to that. She could very easily just have been too slow to block him.

You have a wonderful ending here. What exactly is a Basilisk tooth doing in a Muggle museum? I can sort of see the natural history part (archaeology, maybe? Is that natural history?) but why would Muggles be going anywhere near basilisk remains? I also want to know what 'this' that James is referring to is.

This was another amazing chapter! It was just as good as the first one. I can't find anything to offer constructive criticism on, and I'm still amazed at how you've managed to write 6 chapters that are exactly 500 words each.

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hello again!

These sure are short chapters, aren't they? :)

Yes, Dann and Matt knew each other very well, obviously. I hope you keep reading to find out what's really going on. Though, the later chapters felt a bit rushed, since my plot kept expanding and the word count hindered things that I wanted to do with this. Such is a challenge, I guess.

I hate writing incompetent characters. If they are in my story, I want them to be good at what they do, right? I also wanted to show that neither of these characters are dummies, and that they can be clever and they pay attention to what's going on around them. That's crucial, especially in the business they find themselves in.

And yeah, what is a Basilisk tooth doing in a museum??

Hey, thanks for another surprise review! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

Pix


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Review #13, by BellaLestrange87 One

30th April 2015:
Hello!

I really enjoyed this chapter. I love the idea behind this story, of James working for some sort of shadowy organization that I don't really know much about (but want to).

You've left a lot of questions unanswered and if I wasn't writing this review I would be devouring the rest of the story, because I want to know more. How did James ending up working for this organization? Who did he anger that stole everything? Why did he get set up on this job? Who is this Matt that he's impersonating? I. Must. Know.

I wonder why the woman shouted "Riddikulus" at James when she first thought he was Matt. Did she think he was her Boggart? Is she afraid of Matt? Unless Riddikulus has another use, her initial reaction is inconsistent with how she lowers her wand and asks if it's really him. Of course, I could be completely missing something here and you could read this review and think "No, stupid," but I'm curious.

I hate cliffhangers, but this is such a good one I have no choice but to like it. I really can't wait to find out what's going to happen to James, as well as know a little more about his past.

This was an excellent chapter! You've got such a wonderful scenario set up here (and in only 500 words! I write and get off topic and my rambling is 500 words. Or pointless chatter that serves nothing.) and I can't wait to submit this review to read on.

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi! What an unexpected surprise, and welcome to my crazy story!

The thing about a limited word count is that if you want anything to happen at all, you have to just jump right into the action. Yes, it raises questions, but hopefully it does that in a good way.

This was written for a Five Elements Challenge, where we were given five things that had to be included in the story. One of those things was using an assigned spell at least three times in the story. I think that was the biggest challenge for me, because how do you use "Riddikulus" in a story three times without it seeming... ridiculous?? So I made it a major plot point and rand with it. I hope it works for you. :P

Thanks so much for the surprise review!


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Review #14, by GingeredTea Three

11th October 2014:
Ahh, this is such suspenseful story! I love it! Whose this Matt bloke? Why do wizards have the tooth in a muggle place? Why, why why!

This is fabulously written and perfectly executed. YoYour cliffhangers are devious! The flow was brilliant and kept me on my toes!

Author's Response:

Yay for suspense!!

Look at all the questions! Makes me feel like I did something right. :P

Thanks for the incredibly flattering review! I hope you keep reading.


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Review #15, by Penelope Inkwell Six

1st October 2014:
Suddenly, all his rushed essay experience from school seemed like it had been preparing him for this moment. James could pull a report out of thin air if he had to. Bahaha! I know the feeling. Genuine life skills, right there.

So, Dann and James will be partners, hmm? That's a nice wrap-up.

And I'm still so impressed that you managed to do all this in chapters that were exactly 500 words. That's so cool!

Well done, and congrats on your Dobby nomination! Good luck!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi! You made it to the end!

I'm glad you liked the ending. This was a crazy experiment, but I learned a bunch from it. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and also coming to read my story!

Pix


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Review #16, by Penelope Inkwell Five

1st October 2014:
Okay, I'm a little confused.

Chapter 5 is showing up in place of Chapter 6, and vice versa. After reading them, I'm assuming it's not meant to be like that?

And Matt is her brother? Or he was helping her look for her brother? And he was cheating Muggles? What exactly was their job?

What I have got is that she tried to kill him, so now he's turned on her.

Hmmm. Good move, James!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hey, I thought I had responded to this a few days ago. Guess not.

Thanks for the catch! I never would have noticed that the chapters were switched without you! It's fixed now.

Ahh, in a story as short as this, I had to let some of the details go. The format was fun, but not without its inherent challenges.

Your presumptions are correct, though. I guess on some level, it was clear enough.

Thanks for another review!!

Pix


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Review #17, by Penelope Inkwell Four

1st October 2014:
"Red meant dead, his father had drilled into him."
--I love this, because it seems like just the kind of thing you'd memorize in Auror training.

And woah, woah, woah. Boggart. Okay. I was sort of doubting that it was the real Harry, but you kept it going for long enough that, for just a second, you had me.

And the clue was already there, since Dann had shouted "Riddikulus" the first time she saw James/"Matt".

Very cleverly done.

--Penny

Author's Response:
Yeah, Boggart. This was originally written for the Five Elements Challenge, where I had to use the Riddikulus spell three times. How can you do that without a Boggart?? Had to be there.

Thanks for another sweet review!


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Review #18, by Penelope Inkwell Three

1st October 2014:
Woah! Did not see that coming. Who is this guy? Has this "Matt" gone rogue, in truth?

So, James does steal professionally? But usually only from Muggles who have unknowingly stumbled across magical artifacts? Now that is a very interesting premise.

Also, I love how James' "great heist" reminds me of Flynn Rider stealing the royal crown in Tangled ; )

Just with more magic, and fewer evil twin accomplices.

Although evil twins are still involved!

--Penny

Author's Response: Oh, hi! You're still here. How wonderful!

Hahaha! Flynn Rider! That's great. I don't know about twins, but evil look-a-likes, maybe.

Yay! It's another review!


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Review #19, by Penelope Inkwell Two

1st October 2014:
Ooooh. Intriguing. A basilisk tooth, huh? At the Natural History Museum? I love that.

Is James meant to be a professional thief, then? Hmmm. Curious.

Now, to find out who this Matt person is...

--Penny

Author's Response: Yes, basilisk tooth. Someone dared me to put a dinosaur in my story, and I love a challenge, so that's how it came about.

Yeah, you could say he's a professional... something. LOL! Matt was pretty tricky. Even I didn't know who he was for several chapters.

Thanks for another review!


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Review #20, by Penelope Inkwell One

1st October 2014:
What a great beginning!

Wow, how did you fit all that into 500 words, and so elegantly. Word limits are my greatest enemy. And you're doing this for each chapter? I'm so impressed!

And also curious. Who did break into James' flat? What game is it he's playing?

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi!

I don't know how it all fit into 500 words. I guess I just sat on it until it smushed together or something. It was a great exercise. I highly recommend word count limits. It makes you choose wisely. :)

Thanks for the review!


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Review #21, by GingeredTea Two

27th September 2014:
God, what a way to introduce us!

""Is there anything left of him besides his hair, or a fingernail, or..." she stifled a sob."

Loved that line, and then the dawning realization that it is Polyjuice and this 'Matt' character must be alive somewhere. I love her description of the single-use bathroom. Perfect!

Ahh, you're killing me with this angst (you've gotten good at this, man!).

" "is the perfect person to steal the Basilisk Tooth from that case out there, because maybe that's the only chance either of us have of getting out of this alive.""

Ooooh, this is a terrible terrible place to leave a chapter!

This was brilliantly done, perfectly laid out, and terribly horribly mean - the cliffhanger, I mean. ;)

Author's Response: Me? Good at angst?? I'm allergic to that stuff. (Sniffle sniffle sneeze)

I've gotten a few comments on the single-use bathroom, which kind of surprised me. At the time, I was trying to come up with a clever location that would scream "museum", and this is what my muse decided was the spot. It worked great for the scene.

The great thing about such short chapters is tha tit was easy to contain all the details. Nothing got lost in my head, because there weren't gobs of words getting in the way. In some ways, it made the layout easier too.

Thanks for another review!


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Review #22, by GingeredTea One

27th September 2014:
Oh, this is very interesting! It has the taste of a good muggle spy/thriller/detective book/show but with the added bonus of the HP world we all love. How exciting!

So Harry's son has found himself an interesting job...doing what, exactly? He's obviously pretending to be 'Matt' but doesn't really do it very well.

Is he stealing bones?

Ugh, lots of questions! I'll be right back...popping over to the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Welcome to my shortest chaptered story ever. Lol! This was great fun to write, even with all of its challenges. This first chapter left a lot of questions for me too. I'm glad you are enjoying the spy vibe, which was also incredibly fun!

Thanks for the review!

Pix


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Review #23, by navyfail Two

15th August 2014:
So he was trying to steal a Basilisk Tooth and Matt is the woman's partner. Interesting...

Author's Response: Yes, that's about it. Things didn't turn out to be exactly as they seemed. I hope you keep reading.

Thanks for the review!

Pix


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Review #24, by navyfail One

15th August 2014:
Hi! Congrats on getting Story of the Week back in May. I'm going back and reviewing all the stories and I thought I would stop by yours.

500 words exactly in every chapter? That's an accomplishment! I don't think I would be able to do that.

The plot has already started which is great. I wonder what exactly is James' job. Something illegal probably but I wonder what. And what was the last job he did that got someone angry at him?

The story is fast paced due to the word limit but I think it fits well since it has action and action is always better done fast.

I love the small details and descriptions you managed to add in like the "coffee was black as a burnt-out cauldron" and "must, with a hint of shellfish". It kept the the story from turning out too vague.

The woman is a witch? I wonder how she knows Matt. What's she going to do with James now?

You've managed to keep me questioning on what happens next. :) Lovely idea and lovely start to a story! I'm going to keep on reading.

~Sama

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for checking out my story! And congratulations to you for attempting to review all the stories! I'm glad you stopped by!

I thought that the 500 word challenge looked interesting, but my plots seem to always run away with me, so it was definitely a challenge. I encourage you to try it some time, just for the experience. You may surprise yourself!

I was slightly worried about the vagueness, but as I wrote, the details kept slipping in. I'm glad that worked for you.

Thanks for the review, and I'm happy it got you intrigued!

Pix


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Review #25, by maskedmuggle Six

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

Ah, I see! That was such a dramatic ending but a nice one too. I feel like this story is definitely one that you've got to really think about whilst you're reading it :P That's a good thing though - these stories are definitely a rarity but it's always such a nice challenge to have to figure out what's happening while you're reading it. I really liked how Dann and James were both able to impulsively work together to end in a situation that put them in a really good light. At times with this I felt like I really needed/wanted to know more information about things and more detail in some parts.. but given the whole idea of this short story was to have 500 word chapters, I think you did an amazing job with that. I feel like this short story could easily have been a very long chaptered fic, but to compress it down to 6 so very short chapters is such an achievement in itself and one that's a testament to your amazing writing skills. I definitely really enjoyed reading this story a lot, your storyline was such a wonderful rollercoaster!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey! It's the end!

The story wasn't meant to have back story to it. Part of the challenge was to give the reader enough to understand the present plot, without explaining anything. It was hard. I might have slipped in a few places, but overall, I think it came out okay. It might be fun to try this format again one day.

I'm so happy you enjoyed reading it, and thanks again for all your lovely reviews!

Go Gryffindor!!


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