Reading Reviews for Game Over
  
120 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Unwritten Curse Six

20th August 2015:
Oh! That's brilliant! He knew it would be a boggart, but he didn't know it would be dead, which freaked him out and gave them enough time to push him in the crate! Ugh. Now I'm freaking out. I'm imagining being trapped in a crate with a dead boggart. I want my mommy.

I'm still sort of curious how Dann got caught up in this, but I can see that it's not vital to the story you're telling. I am glad that she's free now, though she's partnered up with James so I'm not entirely sure what trouble she'll get into now. Hopefully it's not of the thieving kind, and it's more the falling-in-love kind. ;)

Once again, I have to commend you on pulling this off. it was nerve-wracking but also somehow comical and overall a great adventure. I'm glad to have stumbled upon this story!

-- Gina

Author's Response:

People either really love what I did here, or they complain that I didn't do enough... and sometimes both. Haha. I've had some really interesting conversations about whether boggarts can really die, and what they'd look like if they were dead. I think what I chose works well for the story and doesn't conflict with canon as far as I know.

Yeah, some of this stuff isn't the story that I'm telling. Dann's backstory isn't relevant, though I'm sure it's interesting. I don't know if these two are going to bond over anything more than getting out of this situation with their skins intact, but they're sure to keep a close eye on one another for a while, just to make sure no one rats anyone else out.

Thanks so much for sticking with this. It was great hearing your comments all the way through the story!

Pix


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Review #2, by Unwritten Curse Five

20th August 2015:
SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Did James transform into Matt because the real Matt was hoping Dann would kill him (like she killed the other "innocent")? Or wait… no, if he was dead then he wouldn't have been able to steal the tooth. So probably not.

And is Matt going to fall for the "it's in the crate" thing? Doesn't he know that the boggart is in there? Wasn't that part of his plan--to get them to put the boggart in the crate, which was really a port key?

AGH.

I'm so nervous and so completely impressed that you're about to wrap this whole thing up in one 500-word chapter. Seriously.

Oh, and poor Dann. I don't know what happened to her brother, but her situation seems the saddest of all. Though if she was this guy's partner, then she can't be entirely innocent.

Now I'm reminded of that movie with Will Smith. Focus? I think that's what it's called.

LAST CHAPTER TIME.

-- Gina

Author's Response:

Hey hey! You made it to chapter 5!

Yes, my muse was scrambling for answers right about now as well. This was where the word limitations were rather... umm... limiting. But I was determined, and so were Dann and James. Everyone wanted to come out of this story alive, so we had some work to do.

I'm glad you're still here. Thanks so much for coming back!

Pix


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Review #3, by Unwritten Curse Four

20th August 2015:
WHAT WHAT.

Okay, I'm freaking out here. I thought Harry Potter was dead for a second. Phew.

I do have one question. So, Harry/boggart says, "I thought you would make me proud one day, but you've turned into... this!" but then later doesn't react when Dann says he's the Silent Thief. Does "this" not mean Silent Thief? Because James realizes he's a boggart due to his non-reaction to the revelation of James's secret identity. Maybe I missed something, which is totally possible.

By the way, I totally love James Potter II being this awesome, secret villain(ish) character. It's unexpected. And I love that he's repentant. He strikes me as a Green Arrow character for some reason. And I love it.

Two more chapters. How will you do it!

-- Gina

Author's Response:

Ah, it always makes me smile to know that I fooled someone. James was pretty convinced, and I guess that convinced a lot of readers too. It's hard to write surprises, but I like the challenge.

James' dad was more talking about the "this" being a disreputable person than specifically being the Silent Thief. And it's a... well, you know what it is now, but those things can only be so convincing.

Yay for Green Arrow! I'd love that show more if it weren't for the "let's see how many characters I can date" vibe I get from that one girl, and also the predictable scene endings. Sigh. Work it, people. You're getting paid to write.

Anyway, yes. Two more chapters. Seriously, at this point, I had no idea how it was going to end. I guess that's one way to surprise people... have no clue going in...

Pix


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Review #4, by Unwritten Curse Three

20th August 2015:
WHAT.

Okay, so in my last review I wrote that it seemed like all three parties were unwilling players. Now it seems they aren't. I kind of had a feeling you were going to pull out some tricks and I'm SO glad you did. I'm still so curious why James had to take Polyjuice Potion to look like Matt and how Dann knows the real Matt and… Oy vey. You have a lot to do in three more very short chapters. I am in your capable hands.

I'm still amazed at what you are able to accomplish in such a small amount of words. A scene like this, where quite a bit happens, could easily be twice as long, but you manage to capture the moment perfectly.

Brilliant, brilliant.

-- Gina

Author's Response:

WHAT??

Oh. Yes. I forgot about that. Haha. I'm glad you trust me enough to figure things out in the next three chapters. It was tough getting it all to fit, but the work was definitely worth it.

Thanks so much! You flatter me!

Pix


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Review #5, by Unwritten Curse Two

20th August 2015:
I'm back!

I love that you've switched perspectives here. Now I feel equally attached to both characters, which means there's no "good guy" or "bad guy," just two people who are caught up in a scheme and now, presumably, have to work together to not die.

I'm very curious who Matt is and how he came to be caught up in the middle of this scheme. It seems that all parties are unwilling players. But I could be wrong.

Also, I really loved this part: The man in front of her blinked a few times, and then he began to laugh, a trickle of blood running down where her wand still jabbed his nose. "I'm dead anyway," he said, still laughing. I don't know why, but it just seemed so… wild? I dunno.

On to the next chapter I go!

-- Gina

Author's Response:

Hey!

I didn't switch perspectives too much in this story, only because it would have led to too much development, and then it would have ruined the format I had planned for it. My muse tends to run long when I let it go past a one-shot.

Yeah, wild. James is in a tight spot. It's one of those moments when you either laugh or cry.

Thanks for more words!

Pix


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Review #6, by Unwritten Curse One

20th August 2015:
Hi! Here for the Gold vs. Red Review Battle. I was drawn in by the banner and the fact that you wrote SIX 500-word chapters. WHAT. That's talent.

I have to say, you worked your magic with this sparse, every-word-counts style. I felt totally pulled in from the first word. I felt like I'd miss something important if I wasn't focused, and that's how you want your audience to feel.

I'm super intrigued by what's happening. From what I've gathered, James is in a risky business and he's been caught and now he has to do a mission for the bad-guy-who-caught-him. And a woman stuck her wand up his nose. :P

I LOVE the set up. You give just enough detail to catch me but leave some vagueness so that I'll keep reading. You devil, you.

It's late and I'm meant to be asleep (I've got an early morning ahead), so I'm stopping here for now. But I will be back to R&R more of this lovely story.

-- Gina

Author's Response:

Hi!

I can see the appeal to this story. I should sit down and write more of these. They seem to be popular for a short read.

Thanks for stopping in and giving this a go. I loved getting comments from you!

Pix


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Review #7, by moonbaby11 Six

10th August 2015:
And what a way to end it all! I'm really happy that Dann looks like she'll be sticking with James after all of this. It reminds me of how Harry, Ron, and Hermione all became friends, because sometimes there's things that you can't face together and then just walk separate ways from. Everything wrapped up well. It was nice to see Harry show up in the story and I was pleased that Matt got what he deserved. It's also nice to know that James wants to be straight from now on, giving up his life of crime.

I really loved this story. It held my attention from the very beginning and always left me guessing. The pace was quick and the flow was great - there was never a dull moment. You make me want to attempt a challenge like this, just to see if I can write as interesting and coherent a story as you have here! I'm really pleased that you undertook this challenge because you've certainly done it justice and created an amazingly engaging story. Good luck with your future writing and I shall be back soon with the requested reviews I owe you! (I probably should have done those before finishing this, but it was just calling out to me!)

Author's Response:

Hey hey, you made it to the end!

Oh whew! I'm glad things came to an acceptable conclusion for you. Yes, please do try this format out. It's fun and challenging, and keeps you on your toes.

Thanks so much for coming by this story and leaving your thoughts! I loved getting these reviews from you!

Pix


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Review #8, by moonbaby11 Five

10th August 2015:
Ahhh, more things that I wasn't expecting! So from what I gather, Matt is Dann's brother? And I'd always thought that she liked him, that he was her boggart because, just like James with Harry, she didn't want to see him die, but it looks like he truly has gone rogue and she's afraid of him? This was a lot to cram into 500 words, but I still think that it's a good chapter. You still have me on the edge of my seat dying to know what's going to happen in the final chapter!

It looks like James has quite the dilemma on his hands and I'm interested to see where things go. Will Matt hold true to his promise and kill his sister just to frame the Secret Thief? Or will the Aurors arrive in time to see everyone still alive? This is all just so good that I can't wait to see where it goes!

Author's Response:

Yes!!! More unexpected things! I love when I can surprise a reader. That means I'm not getting boring and predictable.

I was trying SO SO hard to only have five chapters, but this story blossomed, so there had to be a sixth. I hope it answers enough of your questions to be satisfying.

Pix


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Review #9, by moonbaby11 Four

10th August 2015:
WHOA NICE I ACTUALLY CALLED IT WHEN I GUESSED IT MAY NOT ACTUALLY BE MATT. I wasn't expecting it to be a boggart, though. That really threw me for a loop. I was trying to figure out why Harry was there and I was actually starting to get emotional for his death when James started to piece everything together and I realized I'd been had. Great job with that, though, as I totally wasn't expecting that sort of twist!

We actually learned a lot about James in this chapter, which I liked. The title 'Silent Thief' seems quite interesting, especially because Dann mentions that they've been tracking him for ages. I can't wait to learn more about that! I can't believe there are only two chapters left, because I feel like I still have hundreds of questions running through my mind!

Author's Response:
WOOT!!! Great call there. And, surprise! Yes, it's a boggart. This was written for a Five Elements Challenge, where I had to use a certain spell at least three times, and there had to be a boggart. Somehow, it all made sense in my head. :P

Yeah, this story kind of got caught up in the, "but wait, there's more!" trap. I tried to rein in the plot as best I could, but my muse tends to want to go long with things.

Thanks for another great review!

Pix


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Review #10, by moonbaby11 Three

10th August 2015:
GOD this story just gets more and more intriuging as it continues! I was hoping for Matt to show up and it looks like I won't be disappointed! (Unless this isn't Matt and it's someone else using Polyjuice Potion as well. Hm.) I like how this scene is just like a typical spy movie, just with James being levitated done instead of dropping down on some sort of cord. It really brought a strong image to my mind, so I liked that you've included that.

Dann just seems to get more and more interesting. Where did these heels and skirt come from? I take it her plan was to flirt with the guard to distract him, but I kind of like that she had to use her skills as a witch in the end so that it's not just your typical femme fatale move.

This was another wonderful chapter! You seem to be a master of words. The pacing was great and kept me on my toes the whole time!

Author's Response:
Hi again!

Intrigue! Adventure! Haha. I wish I could write more like that. Maybe my next story will give it another go. I'm glad you felt like this was spy-like. And you read Dann's moves correctly. She's skilled AND she's cunning. Or is that the same thing? I don't know anymore.

Thanks so much for coming back again!

Pix


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Review #11, by moonbaby11 Two

10th August 2015:
Hey! I'm finally back to review the rest of this story.

I really do love this format of 500 word chapters. I'm never finding myself bored by pointless conversations because each chapter has to be written so precisely so as not to run out of the words to get your message across.

The character of Dann is really interesting to me and I want to know more about her relationship with her partner, Matt. What happened to him? Why does everyone think he went 'rogue'? Is she now going to help James, even though she doesn't know him? There's just so many questions to this story and I'm amazed that you can get all of this across in a mere 500 words. I think it truly shows off your strengths as a writer.

I'll apologize in advance for the short reviews, but I find it hard to do long reviews on short chapters! But I'm off to read the rest of this story so you haven't seen the last of me.

Author's Response: Nope, no pointless conversation here. There's just not enough room, and what's the use if there's no point anyway? :p

The whole thing about Matt boggled me too. I didn't know where this story was leading, which is rare for me as a writer. I had to trust my fickle muse and let her lead me through it, hoping we wouldn't end up on the other side of a big mess.

Don't worry over the short review. It's a short chapter after all.

Thanks for coming back!


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Review #12, by Gabriella Hunter One

9th August 2015:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums with our swap and I am totally not late for once! I never thought that it would happen...but here I am. Hahahah.

I thought that I would try reading something different of yours and give the Bunny a break for a minute. I was curious about this piece because it was short story that has six different POVs? I like the idea of an entire story being told by a few different people so I'm going to just read a few and see what's going on.

I really like that you don't give any kind of information about what's going on. I get the sense that James is into something pretty serious though, is he a spy? What on earth happened the night before?

I was totally reminded of some old James Bond films too but I'm not sure if this is going to go in that same direction. You slyly build up this world but you don't give away too much about it and that ending! What on earth is going on? James apparently hasn't been doing his job very well, from what he was saying in the beginning and now he might not make it out alive! Eh?! What?! I'll be back! I need to know more about what's going on and you're very mean for making this chapter so short!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie!

Actually, this story was limited to 500 words per chapter exactly. It has nothing to do with POV, but I do switch here and there. But yes, it is completely different from the rabbit story. :)

The format doesn't allow for anything but the immediate story. I didn't have enough words for backstory or any extras.

Haha, I'm glad you were reminded of James Bond stuff. I didn't copy plots, but I did try to capture the flavor of a spy story. Please do come back. The chapters are short.

Thanks for the review!

Pix


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Review #13, by moonbaby11 One

1st August 2015:
Hey! I'm here from the review swap at the forums :)

I was immediately intrigued by the concept of this story. I'm sure by now nearly half the members of the archive have attempted the 'Every Word Counts' challenge, but I've never seen anyone try and accomplish it over multiple chapters. Now that is what I call a real challenge and, from what I've seen so far in this chapter, it looks like you will be successful.

You throw the reader right into the midst of the action, which is important when you only have so few words to write with, and leave them guessing the whole time. I assume that's partly to do with the word limit - you can't very well have time to write a huge backstory when you only have 500 words - but with the James Bond-ish plot you seem to have going I think the air of mystery really works.

I'm very intrigued by this and I will most likely be back to read and review the remaining chapters because I need to know where this story goes! This is a great job and I applaud you for undertaking this very big challenge.

Author's Response:

Hi!

Yes, the "Every Word Counts" challenge is indeed a good thing for everyone to try. It's all about making your point succinctly. Here, I wanted to use it in an action setting, instead of one of those introspective in-your-head things. It's a different kind of writing, and it can get pretty challenging when your words don't want to stop.

Nope, no backstory here, only the important bits. Thanks for giving this a read, and I hope you get a chance to come back for the other chapters!

Pix


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Review #14, by rosiful Six

12th July 2015:
Aww that was a nice wrap-up to this story! I was very worried something really bad/devastating was going to happen. But I'm very glad that you ended on a happy note. I think them becoming partners together is a very cute idea. I imagine James would be very good in the Private Magical Security Service, since he knows exactly how the criminal mind works. I like that they pinned everything on Matt, I mean, he was going to kill Dann and then pin everything on James, so why not take this way out? I still have quite a few unanswered questions, but I guess since it's the end of the story, I use my own imagination as to why certain things happened. You did answer basically every major plot point though, it's just minor things I'm wondering about.

This was an amazing story to read, and I honestly can't believe what you've achieved! 500 words per chapter for a whole story? That's crazy! But it does show how gifted you are as an author. Thank you for the great read!

Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Oh, I'm so glad you thought the story wrapped up nicely. It was REALLY hard to get everything to come together in the last chapter. This was supposed to be only 5 chapters long, but I just couldn't fit everything into five. I had to go for one more. It's okay. Next time I do this, it will have a tighter plot... I hope.

Thanks so much for coming to read my story and leave me all these awesome reviews!

Pix


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Review #15, by rosiful Five

12th July 2015:
Wait... I'm a little confused after this chapter, Matt IS Dann's brother? Or did he murder her brother? I sort of think the latter, otherwise it would just be so cold and malicious to arrange this massive scheme to have her killed and to pin it on James, but I guess it's still cold for an ex-partner as well? And why did he set this whole thing up for James anyway? Hasn't he been working for him (at least that's the impression I got)? Or maybe he is aware that James wants out, and therefore Matt is tying up loose ends so that he can't be blamed for anything... Hmmm.. this is definitely an interesting situation you brought! I am so intrigued to find out how all of this wraps up. I can't believe there's only another 500 words in this story!

Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hey, yeah. This is where my plot started running away from me and I tried to reel it in. Next time I do one of these story formats, I need to remember to have a tighter plot. I think I was trying to juggle too many things at this point. It's definitely my weakest chapter as far as cohesiveness.

Matt could turn into a really cool villain, but alas, I have no more words.

Thanks for coming back again!

Pix


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Review #16, by rosiful Four

12th July 2015:
This was a definitely surprising chapter. It was as exciting and traumatic all at once! You are very good at writing mysteries and keeping suspense, I feel like this story has so many twists and turns that I don't even realise until they actually happen! I am glad a few things did get cleared up in this chapter though, so James is a very shady character and does want to change his ways, and Dann IS an auror (well I'm pretty sure she is..). I also finally understand why she cast 'riddikulus' at James when she first saw him, because running into Matt is one of her biggest fears. I wonder what happened between them? UNLESS, is Matt now James' leader? He really did go rouge?
Hmmm... so many questions.

I'm also so glad that James didn't actually kill Harry. I was very worried for a moment then!

Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Woot for surprises!!

I tried to put a twist into every chapter and keep people guessing. Mostly I think I succeeded because I very very loosely planned this thing, so even I didn't know what was coming next. I figured that if I was surprised, someone else might be too.

All the speculations, I love it!

Thanks for coming back to the story!

Pix


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Review #17, by rosiful Three

12th July 2015:
I'm back again! And this was another very interesting and engaging chapter. I think as I'm reading this story I'm getting more and more questions about what is going on! Which, rather than being frustrating, it's quite exciting! I wonder why Dann so suddenly decided to help James? And James I'm starting to suspect isn't actually a spy/bad guy. Maybe Matt is? Since the tooth had a traceable charm on it, I'm guessing that's why he appeared, because he knew someone was going to steal it? I honestly have no clue. I can see it going either way, but I am very, very eager to find out exactly what you have in store for these characters!

Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hey, you're back!

This seems to be a convenient story to read since all the chapters are so short. I love it when people take the time to read all the way through my stories. Hmm... maybe I should write more of these short little things...

I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

Pix


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Review #18, by rosiful Two

11th July 2015:
This was quite exciting to read! There's still so much I don't know and so much mystery about James, I feel like I have more questions now than I did in the first chapter! So are Dann and Matt work partners? Like aurors or something? That's the impression I am getting at the moment. And Matt went rogue? But maybe he didn't, and was just captured and now they are using his face for all their not-so-legal jobs? This is just so fascinating, it's honestly amazing how you've managed to create so much in such few words. I'm dying to know more about James' organisation and why they want him to steal the Basilisk tooth and why they will kill them for failing this task! Has he failed a task in the past or something and this is now his final shot/warning?

So many questions.. but I can not wait to find out all the answers!

Rosiful
-Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hi again!

The thing about mysteries is that there's this balance between knowing and not knowing and when you reveal the information. It was fun to try and figure out how far I could push the suspense without getting readers upset at me. Hopefully you weren't upset... were you? lol

Thanks for another great review!

Pix


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Review #19, by rosiful One

11th July 2015:
Wow, 500 words in every chapter? That must be a very difficult task you've set yourself! I think you've done incredibly well with it though, you've jumped us straight into the story and into the action and managed to tell us so much with so little words, but still kept us intrigued. This is such a great first chapter that I'm very excited to read more and to figure out what is going on!

I'm guessing James is part of a very shady not-so-legal organisation, that he's trying to get out of? I'm not really sure, but I'm quite fascinated! This is a James story like I've never read before, and I'm intrigued to find out how he got to this place, and what's going to happen next!

I also wonder why the lady cast Riddikulus at him, it doesn't seem like the right spell for the situation, and it's also quite a bit dangerous shouting any spell like that in a muggle venue, even if none of them are around!

I'm excited to read more!

-Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hi there!

It was a difficult challenge, but the 500 word limit forced me to find the right words and convey the relevant information, even though my brain was trying to think up all kinds of other things to put in the story. I'm glad it drew you in!

Yes, wonder about the Riddikulus. This was written for a challenge where I had to use that spell three times. Why would anyone do that??

Thanks for the happy review!

Pix


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Review #20, by oldershouldknowbetter Two

11th July 2015:
Another review for the House Cup 2015 and representing Ravenclaw.

So we now switch POV's and it is getting even more thrillerish. They are all undercover agents at the very least and this girl is on the right side of the law one would presume from the ...
for the man everyone else thought had gone rogue.
. Whether James is strictly on the right side of the law is still up on the air - we all certainly hope he is but ...


The evidence so far looks doubtful - how would he just happen to have a polyjusce capsule of a missing man?

The woman takes control of the situation and forces James out of the way of prying eyes. She is upset about her missing partner and coupled with the reaction from James it disarms her and allows her to be literally disarmed by James.

Oh dear, he is not exactly on the side of the angels is he, being interrupted committing a heist. Though the fact that it wasn't of his devising, knowing that we do not know what the contents of the note are exactly (it could threaten friends and family); leaves us the hope that James is a charming rogue.

He turns the table on his captor and in a da-da-Dah moment reveals that they are both likely dead and so must steal a Basilisk tooth together. We know form the books that even an old Basilisk tooth is very powerful and could be put to nefarious use in the wrong hands.

You have kept the excitement levels up and us wanting more.

Andrew,
Olsershouldknowbetter.

Author's Response:

Hi again!

Yay for the thriller-feel! These first few chapters were easier to wrangle than the ones coming up. I learned that once I put things into motion, they started getting harder and harder to juggle with the minimum word count. I'll know better next time if I ever do this format again.

No, no one is exactly good or bad here. That's no fun to have cut and dry characters like that anyway. But alas, I wasn't able to go into too much detail because of the word count.

Why did I do this again? I can't remember.

Anyway, thanks for coming to read my story again! I hope you got to finish it.

Pix


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Review #21, by oldershouldknowbetter One

11th July 2015:
OK, and Hi there - here for a bit of House Cup 2015 shenanigans and for Ravenclaw.

Looking around for someone to review and here is one of my favourite people yet again, so I get to review more of your wonderful stuff. The more I rad of your stuff, the more I have faith in you as a beta - you are not a bad writer at all and I have enjoyed all of your stories that I have read.

This tale certainly hits the ground running.

James Sirius Potter, and not his usual oh-so-charming, school-boy fun-loving prankster. This is good, I like to see where people take the next gen characters, because there is so much space for you to take them.

And what do we have here, could he possibly be ... a spy? It might not be, he might be involved in something else (dare I say not entirely legal) which would necessitate someone breaking into his place and stealing all of his stuff. But spy would be interesting, or at least as an undercover agent for the ministry.

But all you've done is give us tantalising hints. His wand's gone, but all he has left is a potion in a pill - presumably polyjuice potion in a capsule. That's so very spy-ish and such a good little addition to reinforce the genre.

I don't really get where the other wand came from: was it on him and he dropped it in the restroom; was it planted there by his enemies; or was it from that mysterious woman? Or will we find out, only subsequent chapters will tell.

Speaking of whom, her introduction is well done. It looks like it is a complication, something that will de-rail the smooth progress of his path to the resolution of his troubles - just like a good spy movie.

That all the chapters are short, and that you have had to therefore rein in any excess words, keeps it tight and does give your readers a sense of urgency that I'm sure you wanted to impart.

Well, I better go on to the next.

Andrew,
Oldershouldknowbetter.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for the kuddos! I hadn't ever tried writing an all out suspense thing before, but I'd recently read some James Patterson novels and I wanted to try that short, puncy scene thing that he does. And why not do it with as few words as possible?

Because I'm insane like that. LOL!

There are some things that just had to be implied because of the word constraint. You found several, I see. Hopefully it will make sense as you move through the story. If not, well, I tried.

Thanks for checking this out!

Pix


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Review #22, by BellaLestrange87 Four

19th May 2015:
Hello! I'm back again!

This was a very surprising chapter. I definitely wasn't expecting anything that happened in this chapter - you completely surprised me there, so kudos to you. I thought that Matt - the real one - had shown up, not somebody pretending to be Harry Potter.

I'm really looking forward to finding out who this person is. I feel that it's going to be somebody James knows, and at the same time I'm glad - very glad - that it's not Harry who's dying. At the end of the day, he deserves better than to be accidentally be killed by his own son.

This "Silent Thief": how did James get the name? Also, how did Dann automatically know that James was James, and not Albus? Unless something happened to Albus - say, he died before this story - Harry has more than one son.

This was another excellent chapter, and I can't wait to find out what the final two have in store!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yay for surprises! I think the reason that the surprises worked so well was that I had no idea where my muse was going with this until after I wrote it. I guess if I surprise myself, I have a better chance of surprising the readers. :)

Yeah, I was very glad that it wasn't Harry dying either. Because, that would be bad. It's no fun to kill off Harry in any story. Especially by his own son.

Oh, so many questions! I didn't get to them all, but I did get to some. I hope you keep reading and tell me if the ending was satisfying enough for you.

Thanks again for coming back to this story!

Pix


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Review #23, by BellaLestrange87 Three

3rd May 2015:
I'm back for another chapter!

I wonder why Dann decided to help James and didn't simply give him his wand back. I know that she wants to find out more about Matt, but I feel like she could've just given him the wand back and let him do all the dirty work by himself. Now, if anything happens (which it did) she'll be implicated too.

Now that James knows he's stealing from wizards I want to know who sent him there to steal the Basilisk Tooth. Also, why wizards would put a Basilik Tooth in a muggle museum. They obviously knew that it was magical, and that it would be protected. I want to know, also, who James is stealing from.

And now Matt is back! This is getting more and more interesting the further I get. Why is he just coming back now? Was he the one who set James up? Is he the one James is stealing from? I feel like the next chapter will reveal a lot of this, as well as Matt's relationship - platonic or not - with Dann, and where he disappeared to.

This was (another) really good chapter!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, why did Dann decide to help James? Hmm... I'm sure I wrote that on purpose, but it was last year, so... brain fuzzy.

So many questions! So little time! I hope I wrote a convincing enough ending for this, so maybe some of your questions will be quelled by the end.

And yes, there he is, the man of the hour! Matt, himself... or is it??

Thanks for another lovely review!


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Review #24, by BellaLestrange87 Two

1st May 2015:
I'm back for another chapter!

I really enjoyed getting into the perspective of the woman and finding out what she's thinking. I'm really enjoying trying to guess what's happened to Matt, and why Dann is so concerned about him. It sounds like he'd been kidnapped or abducted after going rogue (going rogue from what? Just like last chapter I have all these questions.) and Dann is really concerned about him.

Speaking of Dann, she sounds a bit like she's in love with Matt, or otherwise really close to him, because she nearly broke down crying when thinking about whether he'd been murdered. I think it's a bit more complicated than that, judging by her initial reaction last chapter, but I'm not sure.

I think that James' ease in taking her wand shows a lot. The organization that he's doing this for is probably criminalistic in nature, because I don't think that most normal wizards would be able to disarm Dann that easily. From the beginning of the chapter she sounds like a skilled witch. Not many people would be able to recognize the signs that someone had taken Polyjuice Potion. (Just think how different things could have gone if Dumbledore had recognize Barty Crouch in GoF!) And the fact that she said she forgot to react adds to that. She could very easily just have been too slow to block him.

You have a wonderful ending here. What exactly is a Basilisk tooth doing in a Muggle museum? I can sort of see the natural history part (archaeology, maybe? Is that natural history?) but why would Muggles be going anywhere near basilisk remains? I also want to know what 'this' that James is referring to is.

This was another amazing chapter! It was just as good as the first one. I can't find anything to offer constructive criticism on, and I'm still amazed at how you've managed to write 6 chapters that are exactly 500 words each.

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hello again!

These sure are short chapters, aren't they? :)

Yes, Dann and Matt knew each other very well, obviously. I hope you keep reading to find out what's really going on. Though, the later chapters felt a bit rushed, since my plot kept expanding and the word count hindered things that I wanted to do with this. Such is a challenge, I guess.

I hate writing incompetent characters. If they are in my story, I want them to be good at what they do, right? I also wanted to show that neither of these characters are dummies, and that they can be clever and they pay attention to what's going on around them. That's crucial, especially in the business they find themselves in.

And yeah, what is a Basilisk tooth doing in a museum??

Hey, thanks for another surprise review! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

Pix


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Review #25, by BellaLestrange87 One

30th April 2015:
Hello!

I really enjoyed this chapter. I love the idea behind this story, of James working for some sort of shadowy organization that I don't really know much about (but want to).

You've left a lot of questions unanswered and if I wasn't writing this review I would be devouring the rest of the story, because I want to know more. How did James ending up working for this organization? Who did he anger that stole everything? Why did he get set up on this job? Who is this Matt that he's impersonating? I. Must. Know.

I wonder why the woman shouted "Riddikulus" at James when she first thought he was Matt. Did she think he was her Boggart? Is she afraid of Matt? Unless Riddikulus has another use, her initial reaction is inconsistent with how she lowers her wand and asks if it's really him. Of course, I could be completely missing something here and you could read this review and think "No, stupid," but I'm curious.

I hate cliffhangers, but this is such a good one I have no choice but to like it. I really can't wait to find out what's going to happen to James, as well as know a little more about his past.

This was an excellent chapter! You've got such a wonderful scenario set up here (and in only 500 words! I write and get off topic and my rambling is 500 words. Or pointless chatter that serves nothing.) and I can't wait to submit this review to read on.

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi! What an unexpected surprise, and welcome to my crazy story!

The thing about a limited word count is that if you want anything to happen at all, you have to just jump right into the action. Yes, it raises questions, but hopefully it does that in a good way.

This was written for a Five Elements Challenge, where we were given five things that had to be included in the story. One of those things was using an assigned spell at least three times in the story. I think that was the biggest challenge for me, because how do you use "Riddikulus" in a story three times without it seeming... ridiculous?? So I made it a major plot point and rand with it. I hope it works for you. :P

Thanks so much for the surprise review!


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