Reading Reviews for Evolution
  
349 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Robert Pitch Black

14th January 2017:
Incredible story, i've loved reading every chapter! Hope you update soon!

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Review #2, by marauderfan Progress

7th January 2017:
Sooo... Lily may be trying to give Lionel time and not judge the day too quickly, but I'm ready to judge. I think Lily's first impressions were spot on - that Lionel's choice of location was uninventive. I think he as a person is uninventive. He's predictable and by the book and that's why Lily likes him, but that's also what she'll grow tired of first. That's my prediction. I wouldn't go so far as to bet 10 Galleons on it but maybe 10 Knuts. Or 10 cents, whichever is less. :P

I can see why Lionel steers clear of numbers. After all, the most advanced math he learned was probably long division, and then he went to Hogwarts and left all math behind. For all Hogwarts sounds fun, it really would leave you with some holes in your education. /tangent

Marlene is so snarky and I love her. I hope to see more of Lily's friends in other context as well - I enjoyed seeing their excitement about Lily's date but I'd love to see them all in other settings, talking about music or philosophy or cats or whatever it is that they talk about when they're not discussing Lily's love life.

You do a really good job of getting into your characters' heads. James in particular here - how he really is trying to be a more mature, responsible person, but it's been so long since he did a really glorious prank and he misses it. He's definitely weighing his options here - still going with the prank but there seems a lot more thought put into how to not get caught this time, so he can spend time with his girlfriend instead of in detention.

'Liberate' a carriage. Yes, that's one way to put it :P

You know who else I love? Katie. I love that she is shrewd enough to see exactly what's going on, tells James honestly what she thinks about his 'amazing' plan, but she doesn't try to talk him out of something he's so excited about because she can tell it's important to him. And I think this was a really important moment for them, because James made a choice to trust her and let her in a little, and his reaction to her reaction says everything. I think he expected to get shut down, but she's chill about it and it's like he doesn't feel like he has to hide this side of himself. But it's not like he'll let this go to his head and pull pranks all the time again, because he realizes Katie is awesome and probably still wants to spend time with her instead of in detention. Anyway, that was a great moment for the two of them. I'm interested to see how her presence affects the other three Marauders and how/if she integrates into the group.

I'm really enjoying this story so far, especially the more I get to know the characters. Great work.

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Review #3, by marauderfan Special Appointment

7th January 2017:
Lionel is basically the exact opposite of James. In fact, he seems pretty similar to Lily herself, the only difference being that she is more punctual... and a lot more interesting, though that may be just because I don't know Lionel as a character that well yet. :P

I love that the other Gryffindor girls took Katie in for a girls night to get her mind off things and give her some time where no one is gossipping about her. Also, the awkward moment between Lily and Katie felt very realistic, so kudos to you for that. Like, there was nothing malicious about it, just Lily speaking without thinking and then having to backtrack a bit. I honestly love the light this puts Lily in, because I think she has a tendency to be portrayed as too perfect sometimes (just in general in fic), but her potrayal here is something that a lot of people can probably relate to - I sure can. It humanizes her. Everyone says something without thinking sometimes, but it doesn't mean she isn't nice - after all, what she said afterwards was a nice and heartfelt apology that cleared the air a bit, and Katie took the whole thing pretty well anyway. They got off on the wrong foot, sure, but neither seems to bear the other any ill will. I'm interested to see how the relationship between those two girls develops as they get to know one another and whether or not they could actually be friends.

This was another great chapter!

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Review #4, by marauderfan The Prince's Plot

7th January 2017:
I'm baaack for another review binge.

Snape POV! Oof, the fact that Snape even thinks about hurting Katie to get at James... such a low blow, but one I would absolutely believe him capable of.

His POV is perfectly written, though. The thing that stood out the most to me was the subtlety with how you conveyed Snape's arrogance, because he definitely is arrogant, but isn't as showy about it as, for example, James. But the way Snape thinks Slughorn is lazy and easy to mislead, and how he dismisses Katie based on seeing a mediocre offensive spell in DADA, it's so clear he doesn't see either of them as equals (or superiors, as Slughorn technically is), rather as beneath him. You never say it outright but it's there in the way he thinks about people and writes them off, and basically it's really well done.

I notice he thinks of Avery and Mulciber as 'associates'. Not friends. I don't know that there really is anyone he'd consider a friend, except maybe Lily. He also says he'll be in charge of the spells and just sends Mulciber and Avery to be on guard duty, essentially, because he doesn't trust them with important work - he's a perfectionist. You've really got him pegged.

I like how you portrayed his view of the Mudblood Incident, as well. It's very believable that he would regret saying that to Lily, but also still think Muggleborns are beneath him. To Snape, Lily is an exception, whereas to Lily, she sees herself as part of the Muggle-born community, I'd expect, and that's kind of the basis for that disconnect.

Basically I like your interpretation of Snape and I think this was definitely a worthwhile chapter. It's nice to get a look into other characters' heads for a bit! Awesome chapter. :)

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Review #5, by peaco33 Pitch Black

30th December 2016:
Thanks for the update. I like seeing Lily struggling with what she wants - James to like her and want to spend time with her but also not someone super clingy and interfering. I hope the concussion won't have too serious effects - is it something they can heal quickly with magic? Can't wait for more.

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Review #6, by quill2parchment One Day in November

28th December 2016:
I really enjoyed this chapter. Katie is such an easy to love character. I love that you are giving their relationship a fair coverage. I think it'll eventually allow the reader to see James as a character that is whole rather than just as a character who is part of a relationship... if that makes any sense hehe

Can't wait to to catch up and read the rest!

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Review #7, by quill2parchment Hogwarts Bound

26th December 2016:
I really enjoyed this chapter! I like the friendship dynamics. You've managed to make them believable and age appropriate which isn't always an easy thing to do! Can't wait to read the rest!

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Review #8, by quill2parchment Ain't No Sunshine

26th December 2016:
Great first chapter! I am intrigued!

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Review #9, by Lucy Cascade: Part I

1st October 2016:
You need to continue this- can you email me at lucykoncar at gmail dot com (I had to put it like this because of the thing) when you post a new chapter?

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Review #10, by The Littlest Weasley Celebration

19th August 2016:
Another amazing chapter! I did not plan to review this one, but I have to because it was so fun to read.

The exchange between James and Lily about the flask was just perfect. [Okay, so I'm a big Jily fan. You caught me ;)] Really though, it was utterly wonderful and they both were in character in that extremely challenging-to-write sense where they were acting unlike themselves in the same way that real people sometimes do, without seeming actually out of character. (I'm not sure that makes sense. I hope you know what I mean.)

And then the convo with Remus. If this wasn't already obvious, I'm also a big Remus fan and I greatly enjoyed this conversation. REMUS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

So fun. So, so fun. Yay!

yet again,
the Littlest Weasley

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Review #11, by The Littlest Weasley Just a Game

19th August 2016:
Oh, this is definitely my favorite chapter so far! I loved the way you wrote the match. It's no easy feat to write Quidditch in a clear and engaging way, either. Nicely done.

James showed so much determination. Very in character, and it was great that Lily noticed it and was caught off guard.I think she's misjudged him rather badly. Then again, as Mr. Potter said, James doesn't let people see those parts of himself very often.

Lily aside, Katie is certainly showing herself to be compatible with James. hm

Long chapters are fine by me!

see you soon!
The Littlest Weasley

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Review #12, by The Littlest Weasley Differing Opinions

19th August 2016:
Remus is always right. Or, almost always. Doesn't James know this by now??

anyway, our main man has gotten himself into quite a dilemma. I remember very clearly how it felt to come home from college and see my high school friends, and it was like the fit was different. That seems similar to how James is feeling. He is growing and changing and wanting to change, but the most important people in his life have expectations for how he's going to act, and he also wants to meet those. That's tough stuff and I'm glad you've brought it to light.

I adored the dialogue between the Marauders in this chapter.

Passin' it along,
The Littlest Weasley

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Review #13, by The Littlest Weasley Hogwarts Bound

18th August 2016:
I'm back again!

I love this chapter! It was really exciting to meet the other Marauders. You wrote them so well. I am especially impressed with Peter. He can be challenging, but I completely believe this version of him as both a Marauder and a future traitor.

Now the boys think James is after this Katie girl. Hmmm. He doesn't seem opposed, but on the other hand he just spend so much thought into his interest in Lily. I suppose only time will tell what happens.

I didn't get a very strong sense of what Lily's friends are like, but I was happy to see Petunia and Potions discussed, as these are both important areas for Lily in canon.

I know I said this before, but I think the start of this story is great! You are surely your own worst critic!

Happy Pass It Along!
The Littlest Weasley

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Review #14, by The Littlest Weasley The End of the Line

18th August 2016:
Hello again, Kevin!

Lily ♥
I think it's almost impossible not to love her. You've done a brilliant job of conveying her thought process here. It shows both a logical side and a compassionate side to her, which seems very in line with canon.

It seems to me that this chapter presents the Lily/Sev friendship as a closed case, so to speak. It's all very final and well thought out. As I personally do not enjoy Snily, this is good news for the Little Weasley! (However, I realize my interpretation could be wrong.)

I noticed that this chapter felt very removed from the events being described. If you were to revise this chapter, what do you think about writing a scene where Snape comes to beg Lily's forgiveness? Just a little idea.

I enjoyed meeting your Lily, and I'm excited to read more.

Happy Pass It On Challenge!
The Littlest Weasley

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Review #15, by The Littlest Weasley Ain't No Sunshine

18th August 2016:
Hello Kevin!

It's high time the Littlest Weasley stopped by to leave you a few reviews for the Pass It Along Challenge.

I know you haven't updated this for a bit, but it called to me anyway as a sort of magnum opus on your AP.

One thing I noticed immediately is the voice you give James. It isn't the usual, breezy and confident voice we usually see from him. He does come across as confident, but his inner narrative is sincere. He displays a capacity for growth and maturity here that is often ignored in his character until the moment when - POOF - he's suddenly the Man of Lily's Dreams. It's clear already that you're not looking to take any shortcuts as you develop his character. Kudos to you for that! *applauds*

I hadn't given much thought to the Potters having a house elf, but it makes sense. I like that James doesn't question the institution, but also treats Tinka with reasonable dignity. I think you've stuck a believable balance between a Malfoy-like attitude and a Hermione-like horror.

In your responses to other reviews, I see that you don't think that highly of the earlier chapters in this story. Frankly, I think you're being quite hard on yourself! There's always room for improvement, of course, but this is overall an effective first chapter. You've introduced us to James very effective by getting inside his head, and you've set up the conflict both as a Jily romance (with Snape as antagonist) and as a journey of personal growth for James.

Well done! I look forward to reading more.

~The Littlest Weasley

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Review #16, by xopurelyinnocentxo Sunrise

26th June 2016:
Hello! I recently begun reading your series, and I love it! It is so wonderfully sweet and real and I feel like I am growing with the characters as I read and feel their loves and sadnesses change with them. Thank you for writing your story. I am excited for more, but take your time and do it how you feel is right. That's always how the best stories are made.

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Review #17, by CamThomas10 Sunrise

20th May 2016:
Just found this story and I absolutely love it. It's amazing how you've managed to show all the different points of view. I'm impressed how lon you managed to hold off the James and Lily formal relationship but I think it will go very well, just hope there aren't to many hiccups along the way.
Please don't stop and just keep writing more because it's amazing!!!

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Review #18, by StarFeather Differing Opinions

15th May 2016:
Hi, Kevin! I came here to cheer you up after you determined to read fellow gryffies' stories.

Your characterization of Marauders is accurate, which is no exception. Remus is clever, he could see through James's intentions. Peter didn't have his own idea, wasn't brave enough to say "no" distinctly against Sirius. Sirius was portrayed as a reckless gambler who always sought for the hilarious event (prank). And James...I remembered your thought when I shouted for help with Jilly fic, I could see how you were going to lead his progress to the next step, more mature for the aim that he had a strong desire to gain Lily's trust, though he still felt it was hard for him to behave differently, the act was done reluctantly.

I'll come back again.

Kenny

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Review #19, by EnigmaticEyes16 Another Run-In

4th May 2016:
Nix here again for the Sitewide Hot Seat!

Oh, James and Lily have their first encounter! And James isn't being his usual smug self! That's a good start. Maybe Sirius did him a favor pushing him into Lily, even if he doesn't know it.

I wonder what Lily is thinking during that very awkward silence between them. And what she thinks of James being nice to her. I'm very curious to continue reading this story to see how it all plays out even though this will be last Hot Seat review.

All in all, I think you have a great story going here! Great job!

xxNix

Author's Response: Howdy Nix! Well...it's only taken me 10 months to arrive, but here I am - and thank you for this kind review.

While I go through edits of this story, this is one bit I'm fairly confident will be left absolutely the same because I love each of their roles in it. Sirius as mischievous antagonist in the James/Lily dynamic, James trying hard to be good and to defuse the situation afterward, and Lily initially thinking the worst of him.

Lily's thoughts on the way to class I think could best be summed up in this way: (1) James Potter was actually not a prat and (2) WAS he actually not a prat or is there another shoe left to drop? She definitely still doesn't trust him much yet, but finds she has nothing to bark at him about and James wants to keep the peace, so on they wander :P

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #20, by EnigmaticEyes16 Hogwarts Bound

3rd May 2016:
Hello! I am back again for the Sitewide Hot Seat!

Yay! We're finally on our way back to Hogsmeade! I was super excited to finally meet Lily's friends. Although it sounds like Petunia is a right brat, keeping her sister from going to France with her friends. I wonder though what happened when Lily delivered her letter Severus? Seems she's cut her ties with him though if she's already worrying about finding a new potions partner. I wonder who it will be? Better yet, I wonder if it will be James?

And now we have James and the other Marauders! I like how James completely zones out on Sirius' speech because Lily caught his eye. But at the same time I'm not exactly sure he's doing the best job of following his father's advice. But I suppose, when you're a sixteen year old male, maturity takes time. At least it's his long-term goal, right? And no one said he couldn't date other girls while he works to earn Lily's approval. And Remus wants to be more sociable and also get a date or two! That's so cute! And Peter wants to come up with and execute his own prank all by himself!? I'm very curious to see how that turns out!

All in all, I thought this was a great chapter and that the characters are really developing. I can't wait to see what happens once they arrive at Hogwarts!

xxNix

Author's Response: Huzzah "Train to Hogwarts" chapter!

Petunia's pretty messed up, absolutely, which we'll see more of later, but yes the Lily and Severus friendship has been terminated and the fallout from that will continue to be seen in glimpses (more from Snape's perspective until edits) going forward.

Haha, ogling witches probably isn't the best way to follow his father's advice is it? But he is a red-blooded wizard of 16-ish and so I felt that there was an element of that that was GOING to happen...and I wanted to make clear that his summer-long interest is actually coupled with physical attraction too. I'm glad you liked the other guys' goals - we'll see how you like each of them going forward.

Thanks again!


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Review #21, by EnigmaticEyes16 Words of Wisdom

3rd May 2016:
Nix again! Here for the Sitewide Hot Seat!

This was an interesting chapter! I loved seeing the interaction between James and his father! I love that his father had such an interesting tidbit of information to get him started on the right path.

Lily must have really gotten under his skin if he felt the need to go to his father for advice. I like that he was able to have this sort of conversation with his father. It's clear that the Potters might be a very understanding, forward-thinking kind of couple and I'm very intrigued to know more about them!

And maybe it will work and maybe it won't, but I'm curious to see how James progresses into a more mature adult after receiving this information.

Another wonderful chapter!
xxNix

Author's Response: Haha Francis (AKA Fleamont...UGH) was to feature so much more prominently (and still will after edits), but I'm glad you liked him here as well as the dynamic. It's written a lot that James was spoiled and I wanted to preserve that post-canon tidbit because I do believe it's probably true, but I also wanted to cultivate a much more different dynamic in association with the spoiling than we see with Lucius and Draco for example as for James to have become the way he became, his parents had to spoil him a bit with permissiveness, but be loving and interested in HIM enough as their son to develop a special connection. Plus, I feel like they had to be more progressive for James to go the way he did - maybe that's not true, but it's the way I've always seen it.

Re: James's progression, while I'm not as dissatisfied with it as Lily's early-middle representation, I am actually somewhat dissatisfied with it because I think it comes a bit too easily for him. The two may go somewhat hand-in-hand, but in flipping the perception of James Potter, I think Lily got a little overly negatived in that portion, while James didn't enjoy enough struggle (but again, that's what edits are for, right?).

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #22, by EnigmaticEyes16 The End of the Line

3rd May 2016:
Hello again! I am here again for the Sitewide Hot Seat!

I'm super excited for the switching of POVs, I think it's a great touch to this story. Lily's POV was also very interesting to read. Of course, she hasn't spent the summer worrying about James Potter, she's spent it worrying about Severus, and what she should say to him, and, of course, what kind of person he's coming.

It's understandable that even after so many years of being such close friends, Lily and Severus are not the same kids they used to be. Severus especially has grown darker and darker, absorbing himself in books on Dark Magic and becoming friends with Slytherins who share the same interest.

I think him calling Lily a mudblood was simply the second shoe finally dropping for Lily. If their friendship isn't enough to keep him from directing that hate on his best friend, then how can they be friends in the end?

I wonder how Severus will respond when she delivers it to him. I'm very curious to see what happens next. Especially now that they are about to return to Hogwarts soon.

Great chapter!
xxNix

Author's Response: Ahh...one of the few chapters where I like the early Lily I wrote :P

I would roll on with a more detailed response, but you've pretty well hit the nail on the head as far as my thoughts about the the Snape and Lily dynamic and the real reason their friendship went terminal from that point.

Thanks again for the R&R!


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Review #23, by EnigmaticEyes16 Ain't No Sunshine

3rd May 2016:
Hi! I'm here to give some last minute reviews for the Sitewide Hot Seat! I think I've read some of your other stories before, but this one caught my eye, which is surprising because I don't often read Jilys, but I'm curious to see your interpretation of them.

I really enjoyed this first chapter. I very intrigued to know what exactly went on in May after the incident we see in Snape's Worst Memory. But clearly it was not a win for either boy...

I also like how he's not obsessed with Lily like most people's headcanon of him. He's clearly a bit fond of her maybe, but he's not falling over himself because of her. I also really enjoyed the added touch about how he AND Sirius like to ask Lily out (but as a joke) constantly in order to annoy her.

I think your headcanon of Lily is also interesting. She seems a bit like Hermione as she's constantly got her nose in a book, and is always spending time in the library or common room studying. Plus, she seems to be quite the stickler for the rules.

It's already becoming very clear that these two are opposites but a spark's already ignited as James can't seem to keep Lily off his mind. I'm very curious to see how this plays out, and I'm glad you plan on taking your time with it, instead of rushing these two very different people together too quickly.

I'm also very curious about why James was asking Tinka about what his dad does in his study. That seemed very out of place in this particular chapter but I'm sure we'll soon find out more as we are introduced to James' parents in the story.

Great first chapter! I'll be checking out the next one soon!

xxNix

Author's Response: Howdy Nix! Sorry for taking so long, but here I am.

I am really glad when I hear from people who appreciate the different take on James's feelings about Lily. Generally the feedback has been good here, but I've gotten plenty of flak for how it's played out from some corners because of some of JKR's interview comments about that - nevertheless, I press on undeterred in my belief that James Potter was not completely sappy in love with Lily Evans because I remain steadfast in believing that James Potter, contrary to popular belief, wasn't all that bothered with dating before he was a bit older than many others become more deeply invested in it. Though you'll see he has a certain reputation, you'll also see some controversy about that behind the scenes and I hope you'll be interested to find out the TRUTH about JP1.

As far as Lily herself goes...I'll be honest and say that whatever others remark, I'm really not satisfied with her treatment or development after the first several chapters until much later in the story. The early parts got too James-centric in some regards and I think that weakened some of the development of her character that I intended to do - it's something I hope to come back to because while I do believe what you've taken from her is true about her (especially the stickler for the rules bit), I think the former winds up a bit overdone as does the emphasis on the Lily and James dynamic despite the slow burn.

That question to Tinka is, I promise, not a throwaway line :P Though it doesn't all get developed as well as I'd like either at this point, it is (sort of) a delayed segue.

Thanks for all the feedback!


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Review #24, by Felpata Lupin Hogwarts Bound

1st May 2016:
Ah, I always enjoy a good Hogwarts Express chapter! :D

I enjoyed the Lily bit and the introduction of her friends! Poor girl... between her "break up" with Snape and the troubles with her sister, she's having quite a hard time...

I also really loved the Marauders bit, and the new year intentions' tradition! Very clever!
Poor Peter, never taken seriously...
I think James could've been sincere, but I guess I know why he wasn't. He's scared his friends wouldn't take him seriously and would make fun of him. Can't wait to see how sixth year will go!

Another great chapter! I'm loving this story more and more!
Much love,
Chiara

Author's Response: Ahh...as you'll see later, James is worried that one friend in particular would do more than just make fun, but that certainly plays a part and definitely at that age I think for any guy. I'm glad you loved the friend dynamic though! And stay tuned for Peter's attempt!

Yes, Lily has been quite (comparatively) oppressed thanks to her relatively toxic relationship with the embittered Petunia, but she'll (hopefully) demonstrate her strength and resilience to you soon (even though I need to do a better job with her character through the early and early-middle stages of the story).

Thanks again for your reviews!


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Review #25, by Felpata Lupin Words of Wisdom

1st May 2016:
"Women have a gift for that, leaving the boy in the past when the man emerges."
My favourite sentence!!!

I loved this father/son conversation so much! Francis is surely a wise man and a great father and I find it so touching that James goes to him for advice.

What he says is very profound, too! We all show only a facade of who we are most of the time. Showing our true self can be hard, but can also be the only way to learn something about ourselves and to build sincere relationships and simply to grow up. And it's so clear that there's so much more to James Potter than just the prankster...

Another wonderful chapter! Can't wait to read on!
Much love,
Chiara

Author's Response: That was probably my favorite line of this way-too-short chapter as well because it's so true (or I like to think so anyway).

I'm glad you like Francis too. I always envisioned James and being rather similar to his father even though his father has grown up to be someone quite important and much smoother around the edges over time and I wanted that to shine through here so that his father could really help him - and show that despite his workload and despite the whole parent-teenager thing they have to deal with, that James respects his father and really values the relationship with him. My only regret is not finding a way to get more of this into the story (but that's what edits are for, right)?

I'm glad you're already seeing another dimension to James too. It's one that's been there that he's hidden very well (and very foolishly), but I'm interested in your thoughts on whether it comes to the fore too easily and without enough challenges.

Let me know!


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