Reading Reviews for Evolution
  
123 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gabriella Hunter Ain't No Sunshine

18th September 2014:
Hello!

Muahaha, I don't think that you were expecting this but I've been meaning to come and look at your work for a while now and never had the time. I would have gotten to it last night but I was a hot mess, my allergies were kicking my butt and I was watching cartoons.

Anyway, on to this! I'm going to be honest and say that I steer clear of James/Lily stories like a plague. I'm not sure what it is about these stories but they never really captured my attention and I think its mostly because I never really cared much for James and thought that his relationship with Lily was a little too perfect towards the end. They went from disliking one another to suddenly dating and then marriage? I always wanted to know what happened in between that and what redeeming qualities Lily saw in James to want to date him in the first place.

Which brings me to this! I read your Author's Note and finished the chapter without stopping because it was so good and I really like where you're going with this. James's constant teasing of Lily when they were younger is explained in a way that I can believe and I like that you steered clear of "insta-love", which is something that happens in a lot of stories here.

What made this chapter really good for me was that I got a peek inside of James's home life (Something we don't normally see) and HIS thoughts on Lily instead of the other way round.

James apparently comes from a good family and is a bit spoiled to me but I don't really think that's a bad thing. Later, when he mentions how Lily called him out for being so arrogant is actually really interesting to me because he had already recognized that in himself and had never thought anyone would have the guts to say it to his face.

I also really enjoyed the canon that you weaved into this chapter as well. It wasn't overdone or too heavy either and it went smoothly with James's thoughts so it felt more like an actual recollection instead of just forced exposition. I really enjoyed this first chapter and I'll most likely be back pretty soon after I take care of some pesky updates of my own, clean out my review thread and destroy this weird cold I have. :D

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Well you are right that I was not expecting it! But it's so welcome - even if you're FAR too kind. I feel very ehh about the beginning of the story really, as it represented my return to any type of fiction after a roughly five-year uninterrupted hiatus.

This story will definitely NOT be "insta-love". In fact, you might become frustrated at how not "insta-love" it is if you keep reading. Spoiler alert: James and Lily still aren't a thing yet at roughly 102,000 words.

Some of the things you've mentioned are things I absolutely want to get more of (and plan to), like each of their home life and obviously James's thoughts on Lily (and vice-versa).

If you knock out those pesky updates and end up sticking with the story in any regard, I would love your insights. I'm a big admirer of your talent so your thoughts would be appreciated.

Also, I AM getting to A Force of Wills soon. My week has been an absolute nightmare so far.

Kevin


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Review #2, by HarryGinnyLove88 Round One

13th September 2014:
super story :)

But poor james, still have Katie on her mind...
you should do something about this sometime, like let Katie wrote him just once a letter just so james can go on his life and not be miserable, but its up to you, its still you`re story..

hope you write soon :)

Author's Response: Yeah...James did not get much closure from Katie did he? When he does it will be something that he decides on his own though, unfortunately for him without any word from her. He won't be miserable for long though. I don't see him as a dweller and he'll be moving beyond it sooner rather than later, since it has already been a month or so after all.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #3, by peacock33 Round One

13th September 2014:
Interesting chapter. I feel like Lily is a little too hostile toward James considering how he didn't really do that much to her or anyone in the past year. So hopefully she'll be a bit more mature and recognize that he has changed and be a little friendlier and more sympathetic to what happened with Katie. And I'm interested to see more of James' thoughts about Katie as some of your comments suggested he wouldn't be wallowing all year, so it will be interesting to see how it affected him exactly and how he is going to move on.
Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Hello again!

Lily's hostility is really intended to be borne more of her concern/irritation about James being made Head Boy and a resistance to the idea that James wants to mix things up as far as the Heads/Prefects routine goes than James's actual behavior. My goal was to set some places where you can see that Lily is actually seeing some things about him in a different light, but that may have been overwhelmed by the other portions because while the round was happening we were in James's POV, limiting my ability (deliberately) to go into those areas. I don't want her to get over the Head Boy shock immediately, to go suddenly too pro-James or to overcome one of her own flaws too quickly, but that will be getting developed sooner rather than later as, after all, this next segment of the story is about Lily growing up and recognizing things about herself and James in a more mature way.

Since (I hope) it was alluded to fairly plainly that Lily wasn't going to be able to contain her inquiries about the Katie situation for long, rest assured that those are things that will be addressed - very soon.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #4, by HarryGinnyLove88 Collision

11th September 2014:
Keep writing.. :)

I wonder, how long its last before lily and james gets together.

Author's Response: The next chapter is already in the queue! There's still a ways to go yet, but there will be far more James/Lily development and interaction than in sixth year to whet your appetite.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #5, by casual_chaos Just a Game

7th September 2014:
Hello again!

I'm back to reading your wonderful story. I went through the last four chapters in one sweep and decided to review them together (I hope you don't mind but I'd rather write one long review than many short ones).

I loved the exchange between Lily and James after Potions. Both of them were awkward about the change in James' behaviour, which is natural and it didn't lead to a lengthy conversation, which is even more natural. So, that was well done.

Aah, how I love the Marauders. Honestly, every conversation they have is gold. In your Author's response you mentioned the 'too much dialogue' issue. I didn't notice it so far, the ratio between descriptions and dialogue seemed just right.

The only thing I would have liked more detail about are Lily's two friends. We didn't find out a lot about them so far, except through the conversations they had with Lily. From their way of speaking, they seem intelligent and sometimes funny, but a few descriptions of their character, subject preferences or just simple things like hobbies would help picturing them more clearly. Perhaps this is just me, but I thought you would like to know.

Which leads me to Katie. You did a great job with her introduction. This is the advantage of dialogue, it can sometimes paint a much more colourful image of a person than a description could. There were these subtle hints (the firm handshake, the fiery stare) along with the more obvious gestures (the cheering and grinning and, at points, yelling in anger) which already made her a well-thought-out character. Who is a bit scary. :) Anyway, I really like her so far. I hope there will be a scene with her and Sirius, now that would be one firework of a conversation.

As for the match, I honestly can't tell you if you did justice to it. Even in HP books, I could hardly concentrate on everything that was going on and who was doing what to whom. It's my lack of aptitude for any kind of sport (real or fictional), not your writing, so don't worry about it. But I do admire James for his dedication to the team. It reminds me of Harry, how he would always keep going, no matter how hurt or tired he would be.

All in all, I enjoyed reading these last few chapters, especially this one. And I notice there will be a party soon so I'm very eager to see how that turns out. :)

- Andy

Author's Response: Hello again to you! I don't mind whatever way anybody decides to leave me reviews, believe me. I just appreciate you taking the time to read and do it!

I'm glad you're enjoying the characterizations all around and appreciated the more subtle side of James and Lily's interaction (like the fact that they SHOULDN'T have some long conversation yet). That's actually why the story is so slow-burning in their regard. Because of the depth of the differences they perceive in each other and...well, LILY'S dislike for James, I wanted to be very measured in how frequently they even interact and what it's about.

Following on from that, I'll say that because James needs more growing up (at least IMO), we don't get as much depth about Lily's friends because a lot of the first half of the story is focusing on signs of James's growth. I somewhat regret not having more hiccups along the way with that, but hopefully you'll find it fine anyway. You will get more on Lily's friends outside of conversation when you get to where I am in the story now, as it's more focused on rounding out Lily and where SHE needs to grow (because she CAN'T have been perfect herself).

As for Katie, hopefully she won't scare you going forward. This is actually largely just her on match days. She has the capacity to get fiery, definitely, but she's also got some insecurities and she is generally pretty straightforward and earnest at her core. We'll also (purposefully) see limited dimensionality to her because of her role in the story, which hopefully you'll pick up on later. I originally intended for things with her to go a bit differently, but I was ultimately satisfied (mostly) with how it turned out.

Thanks so much for the detailed and thoughtful review!


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Review #6, by casual_chaos Hogwarts Bound

6th September 2014:
This is great, you got each of the Marauders right and gave them their own distinctive voices. It is so often that writers give their characters such universal voices that each of the characters could be saying someone else's line and the reader would never notice the difference. But, trying to write myself, I know how hard it is to avoid this. :)

Anyway, I hope there will be more conversations like this in the future chapters.

I didn't leave a review but the previous chapter was very sweet and the advice James got from his father was both useful and thoughtful, it really made me smile.

- Andy

Author's Response: Thank you very much! Character differentiation is something I always strive for (and sometimes get stuck on writing and re-writing when it comes to dialogue) so it's great to hear that!

There will definitely be more detailed conversations throughout the story. If you do keep reading, I'd love to know if you think it hits a "too much dialogue" point because that's something I always worry about too.

I'm glad you liked the father scene. I haven't ended up with as much opportunity to work the families in as much as I intended, but I do try and I thought this was something that would be reasonable for James to seek guidance about.

Thanks again for your feedback!


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Review #7, by casual_chaos The End of the Line

6th September 2014:
So we get to hear the story from many point of views, I like it! You did justice to Lily; she seems intelligent and compassionate and the heartbreak of having to end a friendship was clearly evident. This is going to be a great story, I can tell already. :)

- Andy

Author's Response: Indeed. You'll DEFINITELY get to read the story from multiple perspectives. I'd say it will primarily be from James and/or Lily's perspective on a chapter by chapter basis, but some other characters will gets chapters from their POVs too where necessary. I'm glad you're liking Lily too. I'm interested to see what you think of her as the story develops too!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by casual_chaos Ain't No Sunshine

6th September 2014:
Hello!

First off, I am so glad I started reading this story! James seems like a fun-loving, kind but slightly confused person and I am looking forward to reading from his point of view. The pacing is excellent, the two characters we met so far were nicely portrayed and your A/N assured me this story would be exactly my cup of tea! For days I have been in search of a story which deals with the subject of a real romantic relationship with the seriousness it deserves and I think I've found it. The more it drags, the better. :)

- Andy

Author's Response: Howdy!

Thanks for the kind review! I'm glad you jumped in and that you like the portrayal of James. I hope you'll also like the other major characters in the story, and find what I've crafted for some of them to be believable too.

As far as the drag goes, well...let's just say I think you'll find that the progression to James/Lily puts the slow in slow burn, but for me that's just realistic given the last snapshot we get of them in canon at the end of their 5th year.

I hope you continue to enjoy it!


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Review #9, by TheBigA Sixth Year Slump

31st August 2014:
A fully Jily devoted chapter, a so called "black sheep", but rare as they are so far, they are always the most breath taking, nail biting, and hair tearing chapters, knowing underneath all the fascinating characters and thorough details, there is a countdown to Jily, and no matter what it is coming... but when and why is up to YOU, and I can not wait, yet at the same time I can, a.k.a I appreciate the "slow burn" as you call it... Another 10/10.
Keep it up!!!,
-Aaron

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I worried that James and Lily were a bit TOO talented in their duel, but at the same time, they ended up being one of two couples who were able to thrice defy Voldemort, so I figured they'd find ways to be pretty good, even in school.

As far as James/Lily, there will be plenty more interaction between them starting with the chapter I'm writing at the moment. It won't be some sudden deluge, and circumstances force it to an extent at first, but we're entering "their time" in the story so get ready and get excited!

Thanks for your support and kind reviews!


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Review #10, by RupertsPheonix The Special Visitor

30th August 2014:
Hi, there! For some reason, HPFF isn't letting me log in on my phone. So I'm leaving a review as a guest... I'm sorry.

I think this is a strong chapter. Dumbledore was pretty close to spot on--you had his word choice and speech pattern down pretty well throughout. The only bit that I thought was a little off was when you described his face as souring; I think Dumbledore probably has a little more control over his expressions, from what JKR gives us in the series. Maybe a more appropriate expression would be a raising or furrowing of the eyebrows, whereby Lily could sense his disappointment with her reaction. Just my two cents. You definitely have him down really well overall though, which is a HUGE feat, so well done!

I love James' reaction to Dumbledore. And oh my word do I feel bad for him as he sits in the aftermath of Katie leaving and her letter!

Thanks for a great chapter,
Kate/RP

Author's Response: Hello again!

Thanks so much for the feedback, especially about Dumbledore as I was definitely worried about him. You raise a very good point about the souring - he was certainly quite talented at maintaining a neutral expression and indeed concealing his true feelings or intentions and this probably would have been similar. I diverged a bit because I wasn't sure he would so actively try and conceal his disappointment here, but you may very well be right. Something to think about going forward. I'm glad you thought I did him justice though, especially with the speech!

As for James, yes, he's having a rough go of it at the moment. I won't say that's going to evaporate overnight, but I don't think he'll wallow in it for TOO long.

Thanks for the feedback! It is MUCH appreciated!


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Review #11, by HarryGinnyLove88 Reunions

27th August 2014:
just one question more,
do you finish this story til lily and james
death, or earlier?

Author's Response: Undecided ;)

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Review #12, by TheBigA Three Funerals

27th August 2014:
Ah how could I forget the speech!! It exemplifies your ability to take what you know in real life and mesh it with the Wizarding world. I thought it paralleled a Funeral of someone half Christian and half Jewish, both have different funeral rites and the speech mirrored the division between Muggle and Wizard, Making references to him being a Hufflepuff in the speech. I liked the details you put in such as the muggle side carrying the coffin but the wizards levitating it . Great job on this chapter again I appreciate you getting back to me so fast on my reviews.
Thanks a bunch,
-Aaron

Author's Response: Thanks for responding to my question! I'm glad you thought it meshed well - I was definitely going for an interesting and believable fusion, so that's encouraging to hear!

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Review #13, by TheBigA Growing Pains

27th August 2014:
A very Sirius chapter indeed!!! That seems impossible, so much development in one chapter. It's wonderful that we finally get to know some of Katie's friends and Renee seems like an actual match for Sirius, especially with the stubbornness and I loved how she was able to trick Sirius Into going on a second date with her. Your work with detailing events has really come far, and that's saying something since you were good at it when I started reading Evolution.
Thank you,
-Aaron
P.S. I love how you put time into coming up with witty chapter names it always makes me chuckle.

Author's Response: Ahh the Sirius puns. Classic. What I think will prove interesting about this bit with Renee is that it will actually end up being more about Sirius than it is her. I'm toying with continuing to sprinkle Katie's friends throughout the story (I know they'll make at least a few more larger appearances, but haven't decided beyond that).

Thanks for the positive feedback on the level of detail! I've really been working on that and hopefully you'll find it continues.

You are also the first person to appreciate the effort I've put into the chapter titles! I get a little nutty about titles (both for my stories and chapters) and so it's cool that you like them because I think about them a lot (probably too much).


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Review #14, by HarryGinnyLove88 The Special Visitor

26th August 2014:
finally, you took too long :D
hope another is soon...

can you tell, will Katie come back or not...
I know that you way not want to say, but I really wanna know..
I can help, I`m so curios.. it`s runs in the family :)

if you can, write a private message, so the others may not see, although they maybe want to.

Author's Response: Sorry for the delay. Part of it is working on some other, shorter projects, part of it is outside obligations, and a smaller part is the queue. Know that I'm updating as quickly as I can while balancing all that with keeping up the quality. Believe me, I want to keep updating as much as you want to keep seeing them!

As for that, I have spoiled it in another review response, so I don't mind doing it for you too. Especially as I don't want it to be this lingering question. Katie's gone. James will obviously think about her at times, but she's not coming back as a physical character in the story.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #15, by TheBigA Three Funerals

26th August 2014:
Ah! Okay I think I'm done...Ah! OKAY finally...wow it felt good to do that. Such an exciting chapter! My roommate woke up to me gasping/screaming/sobbing at 1:30 in the morning, sorry Liam if you're reading this... Anyway the 2nd funeral was obviously the most painful for me, the ship of Lionel/Lily finally sank after many punctures in her hull. This was half expected simply because the summer was coming. I had a hunch that Lion/Lily was doomed even with the lake scene as a diversion. The dialogue was interesting and well paced, one of the most memorable scenes so far. Lily brought up some excellent points in her speech and I applaud you in bringing your best work to the table.

The other two funerals were intriguing, although shadowed by a previously mentioned scene. The first one was a way of explaining how they worked, and we will probably have a lot more funerals to come. The last but certainly not least funeral was a very sinister reminder of what's out there. The victim was, I'm assuming a reporter for the Daily Prophet and had written about the Dark Lord. It was intense, and I felt vaguely reminded of Bellatrix Lestrange when the death eaters were closing in on the man.

A truly enticing chapter
Cheers,
-Aaron

Author's Response: Glad you liked it (sorry Liam)! Ahh, the ending of Lily/Lionel. I wondered what you'd think of it. I've found not a lot of people really cared too much about it, but a few thought that Lily was too focused on the physical, which I tried to play as more of a symptom of the larger issue (and tried to underscore in this break-up conversation). I'm glad you thought it went well though!

Yes! The first, I definitely wanted to explore the darkening world before breaking it up a bit with the end of Lily/Lionel and then making it super-real with an actual killing. I hope you thought the half-blood funeral made sense. What did you think of the speech? And you're right about both the victim and the killer as it turns out. Well done!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #16, by TheBigA Security

26th August 2014:
Wow what a step! Every relationship has it's first "I love you" and "I love you too" and this whole chapter was leading up to that delightful surprise. This chapter felt cozy like being near a fire simply because of its atmosphere. The dialogue, and the attention to detail were my favorite parts, such as Katie taking off James' glasses for him.

My stomach always does somersaults when Katie starts a sentence with the words we need to talk, although it never leads to a break up, it means an awkward conversation is approaching. It all worked out though and I was pleased by James not hesitating to say I love you too back to her.

All in all, another 10/10 piece of work.
-Aaron

Author's Response: I'm really glad you enjoyed the James/Katie "I love you" scene. One of the things I knew for sure about their relationship is that I wanted James to fall in love with Katie. Given his history (only alluded to so far - and it's not as bad as it sounds), I thought it was important that he feel love before his relationship with Lily so that he would know that it's the genuine article when it arrives with her. You'll also see another reason that it's important plot-wise that James fell in love with Katie in later chapters.

Thanks for the feedback!


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Review #17, by RaeOfSunshine9  The Special Visitor

25th August 2014:
I absolutely love it! I've never read a James/Lily story where Dumbledore personally comes to deliver the Heads' badges. It is nice for a change and I'm glad you wrote it. I look forward to the next chapter soon!

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it! Hopefully I got Dumbledore right, but I definitely thought that he wouldn't be about to leave James without an explanation, but especially wouldn't leave Lily to flip out at the revelation come time for the prefects' meeting on the train.

I haven't decided yet if I'm going to write the next chapter of this or finish the first chapter of something else I'm working on next, but my goal is to have the next update at least into the queue in the next two weeks or so.

Thanks so much for reading!


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Review #18, by TheBigA Sunset

25th August 2014:
Oh My Gosh this chapter was too funny! I loved Peter's prank, and it was well chosen for him, not too complicated that he couldn't of done it and not too simple that he seems like a sack of potatoes with eyes. Peter is an interesting character because we get to know the boy before Voldemort's influence and the portrayal is spot on .

The Jily part of the chapter was amazing, I love the personality and especially the dialogue you are able to create between them. I like how you included the bit about lily being better at charms but James having the edge in transfiguration it was a nice nod to detail.
Keep 'em coming!!
-Aaron

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked Peter's prank and his portrayal! You'll definitely get to see more of him as the story progresses, particularly in the second half (which I've just started writing now).

It's great you liked the interaction and characterization of James and Lily. I figured it would be appropriate to confine their interactions to schoolwork still at this point, but I also wanted to inject a little out-of-class exchange here, but in a way that showcased more of one of Lily's flaws (which is magnified in her current dynamic with James). At the point in the story I've reached now, that will come more to the fore between them and lead Lily to start some change of her own.

Glad you're still enjoying it and thanks for the feedback! There should be a new chapter soon.


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Review #19, by pottergirl355 Security

23rd August 2014:
Hi it's me again! I was wanted to say sorry cause I felt like I was being really rude :/ I'm sorry!! You're a really good writer and keep up the good work. I was just a little disappointed at where the story was going, but I understand you want to take it slow since lily and james don't start a relationship till 7th year. Thanks for taking the time to reply! Good luck with everything.

Author's Response: Hello!

Don't worry about it. I put a story out there and you expressed your honest opinion about it. Nobody ever has to apologize to me for that. I appreciate you reading as much as you did and if you decide to read further, I'd love to hear what you think about how James/Lily does end up developing.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #20, by RaeOfSunshine9  One Night in July

23rd August 2014:
Hi! I really love this story, it is probably my favorite I've read so far, and I can't wait to see where it leads! I hope you will continue with it until the end, because I can't wait for the next chapter! I would be very disappointed if it ends here. Thank you so much for writing this story. It seems like your writing encourages me to write my own book, and I thank you for that! Hopefully I will be able to review the next chapter!

Author's Response: Howdy! Thanks for reading along and taking the time to leave a review! I'll definitely be carrying on with the story. In fact, the next chapter is already in the queue and will hopefully be up in the next several days.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, and if you're even thinking about it, definitely take a crack at writing your own stories! It's a great activity and if you like the site here there's an excellent and highly supportive community here for authors! Good luck!


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Review #21, by TheBigA Confrontations

21st August 2014:
Jim dale...I took an 11 hour train ride and listened to an audio book of Harry potter read by Jim F**king Dale and now when I try to read all I can hear is his horrid high pitched impressions of girls and his drawling impressions of boys. Anyway this chapter was fantastic, and though things for Sirius have taken a turn for the worse, my favorite part of the chapter way the way I was rooting for Jim Dale...I mean Lily when she brought up with Lionel what had been on my mind for a while now. She was angry and I immediately felt queasy on the inside when she began her argument by blurting out Is there something wrong with me? I felt like a man who could see the typhoon on the horizon, but at the last second it veers away, and a nice blue sky with a 90% chance of snogging is the forecast for the rest of the day, yet only a 5% chance of
Shagging reported, no one paid attention to it. For now...

Keep up the good work or my father'll hear about this,
-Jim Dale ..., I mean Aaron

Author's Response: Hmm. I've never listened to the series on audio book. But an eleven-hour train ride sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Yes...unfortunately Sirius had some difficulties here. He's not the easiest nut to crack and when it comes to James and Katie...well, he's been remarkably patient I think, given who we're talking about.

With Lily/Lionel...a storm analogy is a good one. Things are certainly not perfect in their world and though I still think the dialogue was too transparent and Lily receded a bit too quickly looking back, I wanted to do a bit more with the relationship before it takes its final bow, so I opted not to kill it off here.

Thanks for sticking with the story and giving me so much feedback!


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Review #22, by TheBigA Three Broom Closets

21st August 2014:
Hmmm...curious...verraayyy Kurious indeeed...I wonder...-Olivander 1991

Broom closet one while being the least emotionally intense of them all, was enjoyable due to team Remus/Peter and their little excursion to the dungeons.

Broom closet two was a surprise as it showed Lily/Lionel getting much more intense with each other, even if Lily still has to do all the leading in their relationship.

Broom closet three was the least surprising of them all as I'd expected nothing less from Potter, rather i found myself expecting more from the young pair, although that is a side-product of my many hours of previous fanfic reading. nonetheless i found James' bid to release Katie from punishment "cute", and Lily's way of dancing around the rule while still not breaking it, reminds me fondly of another muggleborn witch who was also the "brightest young witch of her time"

although slightly inappropriately placed, I felt it to be prudent as to add more thoughts to the end of my chapter review. Most importantly was an issue that has been bothering me for quite a while...after I finish composing each of my chapter reviews, I go and read the other comments and your responses and i found that a main point people bring up is their dissatisfction with the smaller amount of James/Lily interaction. I absolutely adore the pairings you've created so far, as I've voiced before,and it is my understanding that each will reach its end eventually (you've probably got most of that planned out already, and its fine if you dont.) but seeing as obviously Jily will emerge some time, which I selfishly assume will most likely be during the Head Boy/Head Girl confrontations in 7th year, that you should be in absolutely zero hurry to start anything if the end result will become rushed. Every singly f**king Jily fanfiction I've ever read, including famous ones, have ended before a)when they're supposed and b)before when the author says they will see it through to, which makes me absolutely livid...anyway as long as you're dedicated to seeing this through to the end, I do not care what choices in details you make as long as it doesn't go so far out of canon that it becomes AU (and no Snily)then I will stand by what you decide is best as I trust your judgment enough PERIOD END OF SENTENCE... this is getting off track really fast. overall a thoroughly enjoyable chapter, deserving of another 10/10.
Thank you again,
-Aaron

Author's Response: Ahh the broom closets. A little trope-y I know, but I thought it could prove a good contrasting device that let me work in a bit with Snape still being picked on by the Marauders too. You'll hear more about Lily/Lionel in the broom closet later...

As for the latter part, I'm glad you said this. I get where people are coming from, but I felt like I was pretty up front about the fact that James/Lily would take a long time to happen and I tried pretty hard to not make their other relationships cliche or awful. Oh well. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. I definitely don't plan on things going AU - quite the opposite. And I can assure you there will be no Snape/Lily (at least not other than unrequited Snape angst) - YUCK.


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Review #23, by TheBigA An Unexpected Partnership

21st August 2014:
What an interesting chapter! I really enjoy the way you write Jily interaction, whether it be them arguing or working together. I laughed at Lily and James' silent argument, and then again at Lily's awkward apology. I was truly surprised when the firefight broke out. At first I thought maybe Professor Osorio had set the whole thing up to make James and Lily work together, but it turns out it was something much more serious, and was an good end to the chapter.
-Aaron

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the interaction. This exchange was supposed to be the first sign of one of Lily's flaws actually (since she doesn't really have any in canon, but I imagine she would have in reality, just like anyone else), but I wanted to do a little foreshadowing with the working together and I'm glad you enjoyed their interaction in this chapter. I know it's been limited so far, but I don't think they'd be running out to hang around one another at this point so I'm trying to keep it patient and realistic. Hopefully that will continue as things change.

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Review #24, by Rae One Night in July

20th August 2014:
I love it! Please write more! I know the next chapter will be
awesome!

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it! I'm hoping to finish the next chapter tonight! The queue is a bit long, so it may take some time to actually post, but hopefully it will make it by this weekend.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #25, by TheBigA Three Months

19th August 2014:
Another chapter of interesting relationship development, I really enjoyed it. The part about moving all that soil was too funny, along with McGonagall's comment about Gryffindor needing a bit more strength on the Quidditch pitch. You transitioned quite nicely into Sirius's more serious topic and the small firefight that ensued. But the most well written and interesting part of the chapter was definitely the James and Katie scene, in which my heart slowed when they started arguing. for a moment there you had me truly concerned. The Lily/Katie part was enjoyable as always. A sign of being an exceptionally good author is the ability to make people care about a relationship that they know will eventually have to come to an end, and so I applaud you on creating two of these pairs.
Ever yours,
-Aaron
P.S. I cant wait to see what James thinks about Lily/Lionel...

Author's Response: Haha...it's good you enjoyed James and Sirius's detention chore and McGonagall's attitude about it and Quidditch.

I'm glad you care about James/Katie! It seems almost nobody does. They all want it to end...and I get that to an extent because it IS a James/Lily story ultimately, but I think that relationship and the aftermath will be important to making the endgame happen because James will learn a lot both from his relationship with Katie and its end when that's all said and done.

As for James's thoughts on Lily/Lionel, I'll go ahead an be a bit of a spoiler by saying he actually won't have many. What's noteworthy is that James is really focused on his own things and on his relationship with Katie rather than Lily and he's not too bothered with what she's got going on at the moment so you probably won't see much of that.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing though!


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