Reading Reviews for Evolution
  
103 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TheBigA Confrontations

21st August 2014:
Jim dale...I took an 11 hour train ride and listened to an audio book of Harry potter read by Jim F**king Dale and now when I try to read all I can hear is his horrid high pitched impressions of girls and his drawling impressions of boys. Anyway this chapter was fantastic, and though things for Sirius have taken a turn for the worse, my favorite part of the chapter way the way I was rooting for Jim Dale...I mean Lily when she brought up with Lionel what had been on my mind for a while now. She was angry and I immediately felt queasy on the inside when she began her argument by blurting out Is there something wrong with me? I felt like a man who could see the typhoon on the horizon, but at the last second it veers away, and a nice blue sky with a 90% chance of snogging is the forecast for the rest of the day, yet only a 5% chance of
Shagging reported, no one paid attention to it. For now...

Keep up the good work or my father'll hear about this,
-Jim Dale ..., I mean Aaron

Author's Response: Hmm. I've never listened to the series on audio book. But an eleven-hour train ride sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Yes...unfortunately Sirius had some difficulties here. He's not the easiest nut to crack and when it comes to James and Katie...well, he's been remarkably patient I think, given who we're talking about.

With Lily/Lionel...a storm analogy is a good one. Things are certainly not perfect in their world and though I still think the dialogue was too transparent and Lily receded a bit too quickly looking back, I wanted to do a bit more with the relationship before it takes its final bow, so I opted not to kill it off here.

Thanks for sticking with the story and giving me so much feedback!


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Review #2, by TheBigA Three Broom Closets

21st August 2014:
Hmmm...curious...verraayyy Kurious indeeed...I wonder...-Olivander 1991

Broom closet one while being the least emotionally intense of them all, was enjoyable due to team Remus/Peter and their little excursion to the dungeons.

Broom closet two was a surprise as it showed Lily/Lionel getting much more intense with each other, even if Lily still has to do all the leading in their relationship.

Broom closet three was the least surprising of them all as I'd expected nothing less from Potter, rather i found myself expecting more from the young pair, although that is a side-product of my many hours of previous fanfic reading. nonetheless i found James' bid to release Katie from punishment "cute", and Lily's way of dancing around the rule while still not breaking it, reminds me fondly of another muggleborn witch who was also the "brightest young witch of her time"

although slightly inappropriately placed, I felt it to be prudent as to add more thoughts to the end of my chapter review. Most importantly was an issue that has been bothering me for quite a while...after I finish composing each of my chapter reviews, I go and read the other comments and your responses and i found that a main point people bring up is their dissatisfction with the smaller amount of James/Lily interaction. I absolutely adore the pairings you've created so far, as I've voiced before,and it is my understanding that each will reach its end eventually (you've probably got most of that planned out already, and its fine if you dont.) but seeing as obviously Jily will emerge some time, which I selfishly assume will most likely be during the Head Boy/Head Girl confrontations in 7th year, that you should be in absolutely zero hurry to start anything if the end result will become rushed. Every singly f**king Jily fanfiction I've ever read, including famous ones, have ended before a)when they're supposed and b)before when the author says they will see it through to, which makes me absolutely livid...anyway as long as you're dedicated to seeing this through to the end, I do not care what choices in details you make as long as it doesn't go so far out of canon that it becomes AU (and no Snily)then I will stand by what you decide is best as I trust your judgment enough PERIOD END OF SENTENCE... this is getting off track really fast. overall a thoroughly enjoyable chapter, deserving of another 10/10.
Thank you again,
-Aaron

Author's Response: Ahh the broom closets. A little trope-y I know, but I thought it could prove a good contrasting device that let me work in a bit with Snape still being picked on by the Marauders too. You'll hear more about Lily/Lionel in the broom closet later...

As for the latter part, I'm glad you said this. I get where people are coming from, but I felt like I was pretty up front about the fact that James/Lily would take a long time to happen and I tried pretty hard to not make their other relationships cliche or awful. Oh well. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. I definitely don't plan on things going AU - quite the opposite. And I can assure you there will be no Snape/Lily (at least not other than unrequited Snape angst) - YUCK.


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Review #3, by TheBigA An Unexpected Partnership

21st August 2014:
What an interesting chapter! I really enjoy the way you write Jily interaction, whether it be them arguing or working together. I laughed at Lily and James' silent argument, and then again at Lily's awkward apology. I was truly surprised when the firefight broke out. At first I thought maybe Professor Osorio had set the whole thing up to make James and Lily work together, but it turns out it was something much more serious, and was an good end to the chapter.
-Aaron

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the interaction. This exchange was supposed to be the first sign of one of Lily's flaws actually (since she doesn't really have any in canon, but I imagine she would have in reality, just like anyone else), but I wanted to do a little foreshadowing with the working together and I'm glad you enjoyed their interaction in this chapter. I know it's been limited so far, but I don't think they'd be running out to hang around one another at this point so I'm trying to keep it patient and realistic. Hopefully that will continue as things change.

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Review #4, by Rae One Night in July

20th August 2014:
I love it! Please write more! I know the next chapter will be
awesome!

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it! I'm hoping to finish the next chapter tonight! The queue is a bit long, so it may take some time to actually post, but hopefully it will make it by this weekend.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #5, by TheBigA Three Months

19th August 2014:
Another chapter of interesting relationship development, I really enjoyed it. The part about moving all that soil was too funny, along with McGonagall's comment about Gryffindor needing a bit more strength on the Quidditch pitch. You transitioned quite nicely into Sirius's more serious topic and the small firefight that ensued. But the most well written and interesting part of the chapter was definitely the James and Katie scene, in which my heart slowed when they started arguing. for a moment there you had me truly concerned. The Lily/Katie part was enjoyable as always. A sign of being an exceptionally good author is the ability to make people care about a relationship that they know will eventually have to come to an end, and so I applaud you on creating two of these pairs.
Ever yours,
-Aaron
P.S. I cant wait to see what James thinks about Lily/Lionel...

Author's Response: Haha...it's good you enjoyed James and Sirius's detention chore and McGonagall's attitude about it and Quidditch.

I'm glad you care about James/Katie! It seems almost nobody does. They all want it to end...and I get that to an extent because it IS a James/Lily story ultimately, but I think that relationship and the aftermath will be important to making the endgame happen because James will learn a lot both from his relationship with Katie and its end when that's all said and done.

As for James's thoughts on Lily/Lionel, I'll go ahead an be a bit of a spoiler by saying he actually won't have many. What's noteworthy is that James is really focused on his own things and on his relationship with Katie rather than Lily and he's not too bothered with what she's got going on at the moment so you probably won't see much of that.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing though!


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Review #6, by TheBigA New Year's Eve

19th August 2014:
AHHH...Oh My Josh all ten of my toes are curled!! I absolutely loved this chapter, it was short, sweet, and left me feeling cozy, like having hot cocoa near a fire on a cold, winter day. Turns out Lionel is a timid tiger (which is amusing), while Lily is making all the moves in their relationship, GO LILY! If i had a banner right now I would be waving it furiously. Phew it was good to get that out of my system...Anyway, the unexpected encounter of the Lionel kind, and his inability to process muggle carnival games was too funny! The grand finale was perfectly executed and left me thoroughly exhausted...I gotta go take a nap or something.
Thanks a bunch,
-Aaron

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked this chapter! I never got a lot of love for Lily/Lionel and while you obviously know going in that their relationship is ultimately doomed, I thought Lionel being rather timid was actually perfect for Lily for a number of reasons. Some of those haven't been written yet, but one (with shades of a second) will come out in the second half of sixth year and I'm interested to see if you'll agree with how she handles things.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #7, by TheBigA Winter's Chill

18th August 2014:
Oh... dark and heartless, just how I like my murderous villains!! however did you know. But in all "sirius"ness, great job setting up a mysterious opposition, I really like the way you described this devious excursion and the gears in motion behind it, it truly reminds us how dark things are in the wizarding world outside of the main characters and their teenage problems.
-Aaron

Author's Response: That last bit is absolutely what I was going for. These kind of components will probably escalate in the second half of the story (which I'm working on now) as I definitely wanted the story to be touched by, rather than completely insulated from the First Wizarding War growing. I think it's impossible to realistically explore the characters without including that and having them be affected by the escalation somehow.

Thanks for your continued reading and support!


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Review #8, by DivergentHarryTARDISMusic Reunions

18th August 2014:
Hey sorry disregard this review, but the rude comment I mentioned it wasnt the chapter before, I wanted to be sure you understood what I meant.
Sorry again!

Author's Response: Haha no worries! I understood EXACTLY what you were referring to - don't worry ;) I try to look back on it in good humor and with a positive frame of mind

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Review #9, by DivergentHarryTARDISMusic Reunions

18th August 2014:
Hello, I'm back! For some reason it seems like it's been forever since I last read one of your chapters.

Well your chapter was great as always! I love your story, and I wanna thank you for continuing it and staying so committed to your storys' progress.

I also read a comment on the last chapter that was rather rude, but what surprised me was your reaction to it. You were very professional about it, and still stayed positive. I guess what I'm trying to say is congrats!(:
Now on to the deets on your story, as far as dialogue goes your fine. But maybe perhaps to balance it would be to up the description of settings(You gave me that advice once, and it really helped)? Like maybe perhaps in the scene where Sirius is in the shop?

As far as your Grace... I don't think you have anything to worry about. Based on the fictions' I've read I do think she would appeal to him. And I do like your idea of him perhaps liking girls who took pride in what they wore and how they presented themselves, due to his traditional upbringing. And that I think is true to his character.

Again thankyou for your story, this fanfiction is the reason I even decided to post mine. I'm glad to see you don't let the more negative comments stick. And like I've mentioned before I like your idea of the slow burning in the development in the Jily relationship. Although I too would like to see more of it, it's worth the wait.
Thanks for Updating!

Author's Response: Hello again!

Well you're very kind to mention that. That's the first review like that I've really ever gotten, but I think whatever reviews I get, my maxim is that I want to engage with the reader if possible. As far as writing goes, people will always have their opinions and they're entitled to them I think. Some of the criticism did have merit as well, even though it wasn't put the nicest way.

Ahh description. This has historically been one of my weak points actually. I've always hated that I'm not terribly adept at bringing many settings to life like some authors can and it's something I'm trying to work on. I appreciate you pointing it out here.

I'm glad you like Grace! I haven't quite worked out how much we'll get to see of her, but I have a really clear idea of her and a big reason that she fits with Sirius beyond his physical appreciation of her. I hope she blossoms into something special over the remainder of the story.

Wow! Well, that makes me feel incredibly good! I'm glad to hear that, but I'm even more glad you're posting your stories! Posting here has brought me a lot of great feelings and friendships and positivity, even though when I started writing Evolution, I wasn't in such a great place. It's also been incredible to see all the talented people here and be a part of it. I keep owing so many reviews to people that I don't get a lot of chance to drop in on stories anymore, but I'll try to check out one of yours again soon.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #10, by TheBigA Family Fireworks

18th August 2014:
The most interesting point about this chapter is the way each character (James/Lily/Sirius/Katie) act much differently around their parents then when they are in school.

Lily part of the chapter surprised me immensely compared to other stories. Lily was well behaved and courteous even around Vernon, and Vernon is like wise about Lily. This leads me to believe that Vernon has not been told about Lily's "secret" and this is one of their earlier encounters.

Katie's situation was one of the other surprising moments in the chapter simply because Katie's laid back nature in school does not parallel her father's strictness.

Sirius was the last moment I found compelling. Even though I knew that eventually, Sirius would be evicted from his home, you wrote it in a manner that was thought provoking, and I especially liked the detail about Sirius leaving up his Gryffindor banners in his room.

Keep up the great work,
-Aaron

Author's Response: You're absolutely right this is an early encounter between Lily and Vernon. It's also a SUPERVISED encounter between Lily and Vernon in the sense that Lily and Petunia's parents are there. I think that probably leads Lily to be more polite to Vernon than she normally would be, and because she still loves her sister despite her behavior, she doesn't want to upset the apple cart so to speak.

With Katie, I tried to give her father a reason to be strict based on her past behavior, but I think he was also stricter than usual because it's James involved. I couldn't fathom that other magical parents wouldn't be aware of James's reputation at school so I wanted to introduce that a bit here too.

With Sirius, I originally conceived of the scene as a bit more explosive actually, but unfortunately that didn't fit the site's ToS. I'm glad you thought it still worked though and made an impact.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #11, by HarryGinnyLove88 One Night in July

17th August 2014:
well, create story..
cant wait another chapter...

but this letter, Katie did not broke up technically with james, or did she??

Author's Response: Howdy! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

I'm working on the next chapter now and hopefully will be able to get it up by the end of the week.

As far as the letter, you are the second person to mention this, so perhaps I'll end up having to go back and edit it in some way. Katie was basically writing that letter very hurriedly. It wasn't her most thoughtful moment and she didn't get a chance to say everything perfectly. She doesn't WANT the relationship to end with James and so she doesn't write definitively - she's hopeful. But as far as the story goes, the relationship is over. Katie's gone.


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Review #12, by Rumpelstiltskin Ain't No Sunshine

16th August 2014:
I still owe you reviews on this, so I'll push the ones I owe you to the next chapter (2,3,4 instead of 1,2,3) ;).

Plot/plot arch: Obviously, with this being an introduction, there isn't a large plot arch to explore yet (as anyone could expect in an introduction). However, the way the story (the plot line, so far) is currently flowing really stands out to me. I love the idea of backtracking via reminiscing, as it provides the air of past and present, and how the past is affecting the present. As I previously stated, the method in which you took (displaying the memories through James' memories, so that there can be breaks in the past to progress the present) makes this introduction flow phenomenally. Also, I do enjoy the cannon and speculated cannon of Marauder's-era events.

Characterization: James -- His voice shines through the narrative fantastically, and he's every bit as James-Potter-like as I could have hoped for. His love for Quiddich, extreme distaste for Snape, and a piqued interest in Lily Evans are spot on. One of the things that really strikes me is the fact that James hadn't been forever and ever in love with Lily, and really isn't at the present point of the story. I like this idea of a newly blossoming interest in Lily, and the real reason behind James constantly asking her out (just a funny bit of teasing).

Detail: There could be some additional details of physical surroundings, but really it's not overly relevant to the story. As far as non-physical descriptions, however, you're doing great.

Style: I really love the way you set up the introduction, where the readers are gently dropped off into a story that makes me feel like I should already know what's going on (which is one of my favorite ways to read an introduction). It establishes a closeness to the characters and plot, which can take chapter after chapter to develop in some cases. I, personally, enjoy the feeling of being close to characters from the get-go.

Notes/other: This was definitely fun, and I really appreciate a fresh perspective of the James/Lily ship (because, from what I can gather, this isn't going to be the same old Jily story) :D. I'm definitely interested to read more!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: First off, thanks for the swap! I remember your wonderfully detailed reviews from Calculus and it was awesome you left one on this too! This is (obviously) the story I've been working on longest since joining and the first fiction I'd written in nearly five years at this point so I'm always really interested to know what people think of the beginning in particular as I was sort of finding my groove again still at this point.

Anyway, I'm really glad you liked the characterization of James! Your comments were spot on of what I was going for as regards his feelings for Lily. Call me crazy, but I've never seen James Potter as a "piner" who's just yearning desperately after Lily, so I've always wanted to explore that idea through of a story of my own. It's definitely INTENDED (and hopefully will be) as a very different perspective on James/Lily from both sides and WHEN I finally finish it I hope that will ring true.

I'm also glad that you liked the "ease in" introduction where James reflects on a mixture of canon and non-canon events before truly taking note of seeing Lily in a new light. I definitely didn't want him to come across as too into her this early (we'll see if you think I've messed this up after Chapter 3 - I hope not), as I really view the development of their attraction as VERY slow-burn before they begin dating 7th year.

Thanks so much for your feedback and offering a swap! I really enjoyed your story too!


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Review #13, by TheBigA Progress

16th August 2014:
Wow a double whammy! Two groups but one excellent chapter!

I was pleasantly surprised by Lily's part of the chapter, I chuckled inwardly during the line about her shaving her legs, as well as Alana's witty line about Lionel having to rub one out after Lily's "intense" hug. I love the way winter feels at hog warts and you did a satisfactory job describing it. Lionel's character feels like a James potter without arrogance, and that characteristic is why I believe he wants to take it slow with Lily. Great job describing their quaint day, even if it didn't end like a certain red haired witch would've expected...

On the other hand, Katie/James is clicking really well together, and I like how Katie is letting James pull pranks with the Marauders, which James is obviously excited about. And by the way, I don't mind you not including the actually prank, as the planning of the prank can actually give us readers more insight into what's going on rather than simply witnessing the event by itself.
(P.S thank you for the lengthiness of the chapter, it shows me that you are dedicated to getting content to the reader as quickly as you come up with it.)
-Aaron

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the chapter! As far as Lily's side goes, I was in uncharted territory not being female myself and trying to get inside the banter that might take place while Lily was getting ready for her date. Your view of Lionel is an interesting one. I haven't really thought of him that way. I'm interested to see if your take on him evolves as his relationship with Lily moves forward.

With James/Katie, James is DEFINITELY excited about Katie letting him pull pranks. That's partly down to her enjoying them/not seeing anything wrong with them, but also partly down to her posture in the relationship relative to James, which will be explored some later. I'm glad you thought it was okay not to show the prank. Eventually, I'm going to have to show one, but I'm trying to pick the right point to do it and the right way to get it across. I'm thinking the last available opportunity is coming soon, but we'll see.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by TheBigA Special Appointment

14th August 2014:
Quite resourcefu ... The way you were able to incorporate Lionel, a character who's name we already know and throw him into the mix rather than a stranger, which is a quite welcome surprise. Your apology in the A/N note is unnecessary due to the effort you've been putting into advancing the plot and creating a fit for lily. I personally cracked up at the way you portrayed the Katie/Lily encounter, quite humorous indeed.
Keep up the good work,
-Aaron

Author's Response: Ahh Lionel. Just like with Katie, I definitely had a plan laid out for making it Lionel as opposed to some new individual, though Lily/Lionel will be quite different from how James/Katie develops, though I think the ultimate effect each relationship has on James and Lily individually will be similar in some respects.

I'm glad you're enjoying the story so much, thanks for reading and for reviewing every chapter! It's been great to hear from you.


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Review #15, by TheBigA The Prince's Plot

14th August 2014:
Firstly, As an avid lover of jily fanfiction, I can officially say that I am hooked on this story, and I will be reading it until it's conclusion, no matter how far away that may be, even though I pray that day will not come at all.( and I truly do appreciate you responding to all of my reviews)

Secondly, my review: This chapter is integral to the plot as it develops a supporting or possibly a main antagonist, even though writing a complex villain is one of the most difficult aspects of a story to write, you have done a more than sufficient job.

Snape was spot on in his personality, especially in his treatment of his colleagues and his absolute hatred of James, after all it was definitely James who called lily a mudblood :p. as for Snape and his two lackeys, they seem like a true Draco, crabbe and goyle together, brain and brawn. I do enjoy the devious plans that are set in motion and cannot wait to see how they will affect the story!
-Aaron

Author's Response: Howdy! That's so encouraging to hear! The end is quite a way off, but I do hope you stick through to the end. I think it'll be worth it.

Snape will definitely feature more prominently as the story progresses, so I'm glad you think I've done him justice. I'm not exactly sure he's going to be the main antagonist, but he's definitely going to try and create some issues and so hopefully that will play out well later.


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Review #16, by TheBigA The Price of Popularity

14th August 2014:
This chapter exemplifies the way a relationship is solidified through talking rather than ignoring, and you have been able to capture a truly spectacular natural event: High School GOSSIP dun nuh nuhhh!! I think the way you are developing Katie as a character rather than a plot device is wonderful, and I really saw some improvement on the length of this chapter.
Sincerely,
-Aaron

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the scene and thought it was fitting for their age (the old gossip mill), though I will admit this was the chapter where I started to get a bit worried that James was changing too much too fast. I'd be interested to see what you think of that as it's something I'm considering coming back through and editing (not this chapter in particular, but others). I definitely wanted Katie to be real in this story and to be a real relationship for James. I hope I've continued to do that as the story goes on. Some people have ragged on me about how their relationship advances and how Katie is written, but I promise it's all for a purpose. The question is whether I pulled it off or whether I should go back and tweak more in that area too.

Thanks for continuing to read and review!


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Review #17, by TheBigA One Day in November

14th August 2014:
My word you are truly gifted at this. I must say that this chapter has been the most thoroughly enjoyable one so far. I was quite surprised by James' hidden talent as well as his ability to be a gentleman to Katie. But the pinnacle of literary excellence in this chapter was the Katie/James exchanges. They were witty and well structured, while maintaining an atmosphere of respectability. Although I tend to appreciate more graphic encounters, (besides the fact that it was a first date) the kiss at the end of it all was like the bow on a wedding cake.
Yours Truly,
Aaron

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed their first date and the way that they interacted. Your words are way too kind, but much appreciated. I think there will be more...detailed...scenes involving the physical aspects of a relationship later on in the story than I am now. I haven't really decided. I've only written one scene thus far fitting the Mature-Scenes of a Sexual Nature combo on this site and it isn't in this story. Perhaps in the future...

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Review #18, by TheBigA Aftermath

13th August 2014:
I really enjoyed this chapter because of the Lupin-Potter exchange. Remus is completely accurate, and I applaud you for that. I also noticed how you said in the A/N that there will be Jily friction and I look forward to it as in the previous fics I've read, there seemed to be not nearly enough.
-Aaron

Author's Response: Ahh Lupin. Always ready with some sage guidance. He'll have more of that as time goes on, but this was the first tidbit.

As for James/Lily, there's definitely some friction throughout the remaining chapters up 'til where you are now. As for whether it's enough I don't know...I don't envision them as interacting a huge amount sixth year honestly and certainly not going at each other all the time, but I'm interested to see what you think of their interactions through the end of the year.


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Review #19, by TheBigA Celebration

13th August 2014:
Wonderfully structured is how I would describe this chapter. A mix of fun and building blocks for key plot elements. And FYI I'm really digging the James-Katie atmosphere that you're building. While subtle to the characters, you make it enjoyably noticeable to me.
-Aaron

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the James/Katie interaction in this. This is probably one of my favorite bits I wrote about them so it's good it came off well.

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Review #20, by TheBigA Just a Game

13th August 2014:
Great chapter i enjoyed the way you wrote the match It was quite exciting to read. Thank you for the lengthier chapter I appreciate it.
-Aaron

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm glad you liked the match! I know some people don't enjoy Quidditch scenes, but I wanted to try and write one and do a good job with it.

As for the length, I was finally able to start hitting my stride here as these first ten chapters were the first fiction I had written in nearly five years. It should be mostly longer throughout going forward.


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Review #21, by TheBigA Differing Opinions

13th August 2014:
Great job I really enjoy the characters you're developing
-Aaron

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch for reading and for all the reviews! It is MUCH appreciated!

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Review #22, by TheBigA O Captain, My Captain

13th August 2014:
Thank you for this chapter I really enjoy the apparent interest James has in Katie. As they say if you pretend to like something long enough you might just start to actually like it!
-Aaron

Author's Response: You'll see plenty more on that later... I'm interested to see how you feel about it throughout!

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Review #23, by TheBigA Another Run-In

13th August 2014:
Very good job with the first jily interaction of 6th year it will certainly be interesting to see them go forward on a different foot this year, but I also enjoy it when some lily/OC and James/OC action happens, romantically as well. Very satisfactory job.
-Aaron

Author's Response: There will be plenty of James/OC and Lily/OC interaction in this story, so I hope you're geared up for it. I try to keep the James/Lily interaction frequent enough not to get lost in the first half, but infrequent enough not to seem unrealistic (since Lily's strongly dislikes James). Hopefully it worked out, but I'm now reaching the part of the story where the James/Lily will have an opportunity to ramp up more.

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Review #24, by TheBigA Hogwarts Bound

13th August 2014:
I really like your version of the marauders for this fic, one comment I will make is that you portray peter as a younger child, whilst he is simple, he is a part of the marauders. Other than that I like the James frustration going on here and I can't wait to see what's next!
-Aaron

Author's Response: Hmm. That's an interesting perspective on Peter. I've tried to make him a more legitimate member of the group in this piece (with decidedly non-child-like problems) so I'm interested to see what you think of him later.

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Review #25, by TheBigA Words of Wisdom

13th August 2014:
I really like the James-revalation/ James-Father Time in this chapter. Great work!
-Aaron

Author's Response: Hello again! Thanks! That's a dynamic I'm going to try to explore a bit more in the story. I haven't gotten to do it as much as I wanted so far, but I'm hoping to expand on it in the second half of the story.

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