Reading Reviews for Evolution
  
333 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CamThomas10 Sunrise

20th May 2016:
Just found this story and I absolutely love it. It's amazing how you've managed to show all the different points of view. I'm impressed how lon you managed to hold off the James and Lily formal relationship but I think it will go very well, just hope there aren't to many hiccups along the way.
Please don't stop and just keep writing more because it's amazing!!!

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Review #2, by StarFeather Differing Opinions

15th May 2016:
Hi, Kevin! I came here to cheer you up after you determined to read fellow gryffies' stories.

Your characterization of Marauders is accurate, which is no exception. Remus is clever, he could see through James's intentions. Peter didn't have his own idea, wasn't brave enough to say "no" distinctly against Sirius. Sirius was portrayed as a reckless gambler who always sought for the hilarious event (prank). And James...I remembered your thought when I shouted for help with Jilly fic, I could see how you were going to lead his progress to the next step, more mature for the aim that he had a strong desire to gain Lily's trust, though he still felt it was hard for him to behave differently, the act was done reluctantly.

I'll come back again.

Kenny

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Review #3, by EnigmaticEyes16 Another Run-In

4th May 2016:
Nix here again for the Sitewide Hot Seat!

Oh, James and Lily have their first encounter! And James isn't being his usual smug self! That's a good start. Maybe Sirius did him a favor pushing him into Lily, even if he doesn't know it.

I wonder what Lily is thinking during that very awkward silence between them. And what she thinks of James being nice to her. I'm very curious to continue reading this story to see how it all plays out even though this will be last Hot Seat review.

All in all, I think you have a great story going here! Great job!

xxNix

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Review #4, by EnigmaticEyes16 Hogwarts Bound

3rd May 2016:
Hello! I am back again for the Sitewide Hot Seat!

Yay! We're finally on our way back to Hogsmeade! I was super excited to finally meet Lily's friends. Although it sounds like Petunia is a right brat, keeping her sister from going to France with her friends. I wonder though what happened when Lily delivered her letter Severus? Seems she's cut her ties with him though if she's already worrying about finding a new potions partner. I wonder who it will be? Better yet, I wonder if it will be James?

And now we have James and the other Marauders! I like how James completely zones out on Sirius' speech because Lily caught his eye. But at the same time I'm not exactly sure he's doing the best job of following his father's advice. But I suppose, when you're a sixteen year old male, maturity takes time. At least it's his long-term goal, right? And no one said he couldn't date other girls while he works to earn Lily's approval. And Remus wants to be more sociable and also get a date or two! That's so cute! And Peter wants to come up with and execute his own prank all by himself!? I'm very curious to see how that turns out!

All in all, I thought this was a great chapter and that the characters are really developing. I can't wait to see what happens once they arrive at Hogwarts!

xxNix

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Review #5, by EnigmaticEyes16 Words of Wisdom

3rd May 2016:
Nix again! Here for the Sitewide Hot Seat!

This was an interesting chapter! I loved seeing the interaction between James and his father! I love that his father had such an interesting tidbit of information to get him started on the right path.

Lily must have really gotten under his skin if he felt the need to go to his father for advice. I like that he was able to have this sort of conversation with his father. It's clear that the Potters might be a very understanding, forward-thinking kind of couple and I'm very intrigued to know more about them!

And maybe it will work and maybe it won't, but I'm curious to see how James progresses into a more mature adult after receiving this information.

Another wonderful chapter!
xxNix

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Review #6, by EnigmaticEyes16 The End of the Line

3rd May 2016:
Hello again! I am here again for the Sitewide Hot Seat!

I'm super excited for the switching of POVs, I think it's a great touch to this story. Lily's POV was also very interesting to read. Of course, she hasn't spent the summer worrying about James Potter, she's spent it worrying about Severus, and what she should say to him, and, of course, what kind of person he's coming.

It's understandable that even after so many years of being such close friends, Lily and Severus are not the same kids they used to be. Severus especially has grown darker and darker, absorbing himself in books on Dark Magic and becoming friends with Slytherins who share the same interest.

I think him calling Lily a mudblood was simply the second shoe finally dropping for Lily. If their friendship isn't enough to keep him from directing that hate on his best friend, then how can they be friends in the end?

I wonder how Severus will respond when she delivers it to him. I'm very curious to see what happens next. Especially now that they are about to return to Hogwarts soon.

Great chapter!
xxNix

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Review #7, by EnigmaticEyes16 Ain't No Sunshine

3rd May 2016:
Hi! I'm here to give some last minute reviews for the Sitewide Hot Seat! I think I've read some of your other stories before, but this one caught my eye, which is surprising because I don't often read Jilys, but I'm curious to see your interpretation of them.

I really enjoyed this first chapter. I very intrigued to know what exactly went on in May after the incident we see in Snape's Worst Memory. But clearly it was not a win for either boy...

I also like how he's not obsessed with Lily like most people's headcanon of him. He's clearly a bit fond of her maybe, but he's not falling over himself because of her. I also really enjoyed the added touch about how he AND Sirius like to ask Lily out (but as a joke) constantly in order to annoy her.

I think your headcanon of Lily is also interesting. She seems a bit like Hermione as she's constantly got her nose in a book, and is always spending time in the library or common room studying. Plus, she seems to be quite the stickler for the rules.

It's already becoming very clear that these two are opposites but a spark's already ignited as James can't seem to keep Lily off his mind. I'm very curious to see how this plays out, and I'm glad you plan on taking your time with it, instead of rushing these two very different people together too quickly.

I'm also very curious about why James was asking Tinka about what his dad does in his study. That seemed very out of place in this particular chapter but I'm sure we'll soon find out more as we are introduced to James' parents in the story.

Great first chapter! I'll be checking out the next one soon!

xxNix

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Review #8, by Felpata Lupin Hogwarts Bound

1st May 2016:
Ah, I always enjoy a good Hogwarts Express chapter! :D

I enjoyed the Lily bit and the introduction of her friends! Poor girl... between her "break up" with Snape and the troubles with her sister, she's having quite a hard time...

I also really loved the Marauders bit, and the new year intentions' tradition! Very clever!
Poor Peter, never taken seriously...
I think James could've been sincere, but I guess I know why he wasn't. He's scared his friends wouldn't take him seriously and would make fun of him. Can't wait to see how sixth year will go!

Another great chapter! I'm loving this story more and more!
Much love,
Chiara

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Review #9, by Felpata Lupin Words of Wisdom

1st May 2016:
"Women have a gift for that, leaving the boy in the past when the man emerges."
My favourite sentence!!!

I loved this father/son conversation so much! Francis is surely a wise man and a great father and I find it so touching that James goes to him for advice.

What he says is very profound, too! We all show only a facade of who we are most of the time. Showing our true self can be hard, but can also be the only way to learn something about ourselves and to build sincere relationships and simply to grow up. And it's so clear that there's so much more to James Potter than just the prankster...

Another wonderful chapter! Can't wait to read on!
Much love,
Chiara

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Review #10, by Felpata Lupin The End of the Line

1st May 2016:
This is so perfect!!!
Exactly my headcanon of what Lily would think and feel after the mudblood incident.
And your writing is so smooth, so perfect... I'm just speechless, I have no idea what to say except, brilliant!
Need to jump straight to chap 3 (but I'll have to make myself some lunch first :P)
Stunning job so far, Kevin! Thank you for sharing!

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Review #11, by Felpata Lupin Ain't No Sunshine

1st May 2016:
Hello, Kevin!
I'm here for the first of (still don't know how many) your reviews for the Site-Wide Hot Seat!!!

I was very doubtful about what to pick... Everything on your AP looks so interesting... But I love Jily, and this seemed so interesting, and Ysh mentioned it, too... So I just had to stop by here! :D

And well, this first chapter is already incredibly promising... I love this dig into James' mind. I think you really captured the complexity of his personality so wonderfully!!!

I love the idea that him constantly asking Lily out started off as a prank. I never thought about that possibility, but it makes perfect sense.

I also absolutely loved Tinka, and the way James interacts with her. House-elves don't receive enough credit...

Sorry for cutting this short, but I just want to read on now... Anyway, this was some awesome work so far!

Happy Hot Seat!
Much love,
Chiara

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Review #12, by StarFeather O Captain, My Captain

30th April 2016:
Hallo, Kevin! I thought of stopping by after I saw your name on the forums. Forgive me, my English isn't good, I'm not sure if I can tell my thoughts precisely.

I love to read quidditch things. I remembered Harry in his sixth year, was in the same situation as James. I was excited, your descriptions about tryouts are fun to read. You captured the characteristic of Sirius very well, his attitude towards James is exact Sirius Black.

It's pleasant to imagine that James is distracted by Lily's presence, but you didn't write so easily. Were Lily's best friends spying James? What for?

I always like your naming the players. Ah, O'Shea, is that Irish name? And Craig! I like the name, too. I heard the same title of the Irish tune played often in the pub.

Hmm, I imagined Kaitie Bell when I read Wallenby..., wait, didn't Slughorn invite the Wallenby boy to his club?

I really enjoyed the active scene James and Sirius engaged themselves in the tryouts and the descriptions about the way how the players worked hard to get each position.

You changed Lily on the banner, nice! I like her.

Kenny

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Review #13, by marauderfan The Price of Popularity

30th April 2016:
The flowers... haha, James is such a cheeseball.

wow, as for the rest of it though, poor Katie. To be just an average girl, not popular, not unpopular, just average - and then to suddenly be the most talked about person at school, and none of it good, that's got to be so difficult. I hope this perception of all the whispers is just because we're seeing the situation through Katie's eyes, and not because literally every girl at school has nothing to talk about other than gossip about a boy :P And those girls in the library were totally giving Hufflepuff a bad name. Don't they know Hufflepuff is the house for the nice people? For shame, Rebecca! I hope the gossip calms down soon. I guess gossip usually does calm down once people find something else to talk about, so that's good at least!

I think James and Katie's discussion at the end was really well written. She's hesitant to be vulnerable and talk about things that really bother her because she doesn't want to be whiny and also doesn't want to hurt James, because a lot of it wasn't particularly nice about him either. And he's ashamed of some of his past and how it's landed her in this situation. But the way they talk about it is a very 'we're in this together' sort of way, as they both know it's a rough situation but they'll help each other through. They're already going through some difficulties but the way they respond to it says a lot, and they're supportive of each other. I think it bodes well for them in the future.

This was a great chapter!

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Review #14, by marauderfan One Day in November

30th April 2016:
I do really like Katie. She has a lot of integrity, and it's been evident in earlier chapters but especially clear here, as she's preparing for her date - she is who she is, and isn't going to change who she is for the sake of becoming the image she thinks another person wants her to be. She's so right - if he doesn't like her as she is, she can find someone who does.

And I like that James appreciates that about her too - he noticed she just looked like herself.

In this chapter it feels like where the reader is first getting to really know what Katie is like as a person, and that she's not going to be just a plot device, but an important character in her own right.

Their date was really cute - who knew James could play the violin? Kudos to him for originality :P James and Katie really are cute together and have a lot of chemistry. I hate that you're going to break them up eventually. :P But I'm sure you'll have good reasons, canon being the most obvious one haha

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Review #15, by marauderfan Aftermath

30th April 2016:
I'm back, as promised! I loved the prank idea with the notes. That sounds like such a nice prank, (never thought I'd use those two words together) with them sending notes of compliments to everyone. Though I do wonder how complimentary the notes to the Slytherins actually were. Like what would they write to Snape? "Dear Snivelly, your hair didn't look as greasy as usual today. Keep up the good work." :P

Lily kept the note from James in her book! And she's hiding it from her friends! Ahh! I know it doesn't mean she likes him yet- far from it - but she is definitely thinking about him a lot more than she used to, and what's more, hiding that fact from her friends.

Ah, I suspected Remus had figured James out. As someone who keeps such a big secret himself, he probably can tell when other people are keeping secrets, and James isn't really subtle. But Remus calling James out on pursuing someone as a cover story will probably get James to make some decisions. I mean, James certainly does seem to like Katie, even if he chose her as a cover story. And she actually likes him too, which must be pretty encouraging. Poor James though, it's really evident in this exchange how uncomfortable he is with his secrets being exposed, while Remus just kind of figures things out nonchalantly :P

great chapter!

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Review #16, by Unwritten Curse Words of Wisdom

30th April 2016:
What a wonderful addition! I'm loving Francis Potter, and I'm so glad that you've included James's family in this piece (from your A/N, I'm assuming that will continue). Francis is cleverly done. I can tell by the way he speaks that he's older (and wise), that he loves James (especially with the teasing), and that he was very much like James as a kid.

I find it fascinating that both James and Lily seem to be on a sort of precipice entering their sixth year. They're both facing some changes that will ultimately help them to grow (and to grow together, in time). Are we going back to Hogwarts soon? Because I am desperate to see how they interact after "the incident." :)

-- Gina

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Review #17, by Unwritten Curse The End of the Line

30th April 2016:
This is beautiful. Truly beautiful.

I think you write Lily better than you write James. And please don't take this as a criticism of your characterization of the latter, because you already know how well I think you write James, it's just... This is Lily. Complex and thoughtful and eloquent and mature. This is everything I imagine Lily to be and that you captured everything in one chapter is astounding.

The letter almost made me cry. I can imagine how hard it was to write it, especially considering their shared history. Snape was her first magical friend, her introduction to the wizarding world, and closing that door must have been excruciating. But it was best for her. (And hopefully a wake-up call to Snape.)

I'm excited to see how this changes her relationship with James. Will they become friends now?

On to the next!

-- Gina

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Review #18, by Unwritten Curse Ain't No Sunshine

30th April 2016:
Hi Kevin!

I'm so glad that you're up for Hot Seat Reviews because it gives me an excuse to give you the reviews I owe you (and hopefully more, because you were SO generous during our fundraiser).

I really admire your writing and this chapter is no different. It's amazing how you can pull off an entire chapter of reminiscence without me feeling bored for one second. This feels like the perfect rendition of James--especially at this time in his life, when he's beginning to mature and to see Lily as a human being rather than a girl to tease. He's dealing with a lot at this point. A friend who is a werewolf. A rivalry that has gone a bit too far. Blossoming feelings. You write him well.

Your A/N made me even more excited to read your story. I think your trepidation at this not being a "quick fix" and at the James/OC and Lily/OC relationships is ironic, because those things actually make me want to read the story even more, as they reassure me it won't be the cliche Jily fic. Thanks for taking on this project. I'm looking forward to reading more.

-- Gina

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Review #19, by marauderfan Celebration

30th April 2016:
Another great chapter! (of course)

I love how you're setting up the eventual Katie/James ship. I ship them already. I mean, I know it won't work out, but I can still float this ship for a little while at least. I like how she can see right through James, and gets him to admit things he wouldn't ordinarily - like the fact that he needs help with the decorating. She's supportive yet also doesn't take any of his act about how he's so cool he doesn't need help. She sees the human in him rather than the Legendary Quidditch Star/Marauder persona he's trying to cultivate. I think she's good for him.

And Lily! I really loved that scene between her and James. The fact that he listens to her and acts on it really shows a step in maturity, which Lily was so unprepared for haha. Definitely gives her a lot to think about, even though at this point she's not really aware that he is trying to improve, she just is really confused and can't figure him out yet, because this current behaviour of James' is just an anomaly in a history of careless rulebreaking. Remus, I think, has figured out a lot more than he lets on. He's a perceptive one.

Since you made a note about POV shifts at the end, I just wanted to say that I like them. It provides a really rounded picture of what's going on as a whole. In this chapter particularly, you have the POV shifts separated into sections, which I think works a lot better than the previous chapter which kind of drifted between Lily and James and the commentator without being in separate, clear sections, so I think this chapter is better organized. Eh, my 2 cents. Regardless, I like the shifts :)

I will be back with more reviews later but right now it's really late at night and my reviews will turn to gibberish if I keep going now :P Can't wait to keep reading tomorrow.

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Review #20, by marauderfan Just a Game

29th April 2016:
Hi Kevin! You're on the hot seat, congrats! So it's really about time I got back to reading this story. I'm starting here on chapter 8 though, because I reviewed the first 7 chapters a while ago, as Voldemort... So without further ado, here goes!

What an exciting chapter! I do really love Quidditch match chapters :D Lily in the beginning kind of reminds me of Hermione, though I think a large part of the reason Hermione wasn't interested in flying was because she wasn't good at it, and I can't tell yet if that's the case with Lily. Regardless, despite that she's less than enthused about the prospect of watching people 'just flying about on brooms' she goes with her friends to support them, and the Gryffindor team... if somewhat begrudgingly, she did at least go.

I really like Katie, and I can see why James likes her too! That girl is a firecracker! I laughed when she essentially guilt tripped Lily into staying out there. I mean, front row seats. You don't just get up and leave. :P

I thought it was interesting how the chapter is mostly narrated by the Quidditch commentator, and I think it works well in this situation because then it's kind of simultaneously what Lily and James are experiencing - though it did drift more into James' thoughts during the match than Lily's. (Which is probably good - Lily's thoughts would have probably been a lot like 'ugh how has it only been two minutes since I last looked at my watch?'

James is such a trooper here playing quidditch even with that gnarly of an injury. And staying afterwards to thank the Gryffindor stands rather than going off to deal with his injury. It's very selfless of him - like, he's acknowledging all the many people who came out to see the team play and thanking them for their time. I like that. Shows he's not as selfish and conceited as Lily says he is - and the comparison is only too funny considering Lily selfishly wanting to leave in the middle of the match :P

A great chapter and it feels so good to come back to this fic. I really loved it when I was reading before and I'm so glad the hot seat reminded me to make time and come back!

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Review #21, by peacock33 Sunrise

21st March 2016:
It's been a while since i've been to read this story but glad to see it's still going strong. And that Lily and JAmes are finally together! I'm glad that Lily was honest enough to say that she wanted something serious. I know James thinks he's over Katie, but it will be interesting to see if he is still troubled by guilt. And I wonder if other people, like Katie's friends, are going to be upset at him? Can't wait to see how things progress.

Author's Response: Howdy! I'm sorry for the delay in responding (and updating). The last 5-6 weeks have been absolutely brutal outside of here and then I wound up with medical difficulties on the back of it this week and last.

I'm glad you thought Lily came across as real and honest and that it didn't feel too contrived. You certainly raise a good point about Katie and you're correct that there will be some fallout, though perhaps not from where you're expecting (or perhaps exactly from where you're expecting - who knows). Stay tuned!

Thanks so much for so diligently R&R-ing despite my sporadic updating.


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Review #22, by StarFeather Another Run-In

21st March 2016:
Hi, Kevin. Thank you for your kind PM the other day.
:)

I determined to read and leave reviews on the works written by the active Gryffies and came back to your story.

You set the first interaction between James and Lily
in this chapter. And I guess readers have much expectation from here. Each movement, Lily's reaction is well written, so we don't feel awkward at all, it's perfect.

The description how James had jealous feeling against Baird reminded me of Harry who had the similar reaction for Ginny's boyfriend.

I'm always amazed by the description about young mischievous Sirius written by the authirs in this site. Yours is one of them, Kevin. I like it.

Knowing your idea about Snape, I'm curious how you will develop the rivalry between him and James from here. I'll come back again.

Kenny

Author's Response: Kenny, I'm sorry it's taken over a month to respond to this thoughtful and detailed review. My start to the year has been a nightmare and mid-March on through last week was absolutely the worst of it. In any event, I want you to know that the delay does not in any way diminish my appreciation for it.

Your reaction to the first James and Lily interaction in the story is exactly as I'd hoped it would be. I wanted it to be something that readers could react to positively, but also something that could underscore how deep the fissure between the two is at present. You're absolutely on point about James feeling some jealously toward Lionel as well, which is something of an uncharacteristic feeling for him.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and the characterizations! Thanks again for the R&R!


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Review #23, by 800 words of heaven Sharpened

7th February 2016:
Heya! I always say that I'll be back soon, but then I disappear for months on end. But this story is just so wonderful that it keeps bringing me back!

I really admire the way you characterise minor canon characters. Slughorn reads very true to what we know of him from the books, including his relationship with Lily. So wonderful.

I really enjoy the brief glimpses we get of Sirius and Lily together. I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, but because Sirius and Lily are so close in canon, I'm super excited to see their relationship develop in that direction over the (hopefully still significant number of) remaining chapters of Evolution.

Sirius and James' conversation was interesting. I liked the way you mixed politics and James' possible love life so seamlessly. The dialogue flowed very naturally. I was worried for a moment that Sirius would forget to address the "James and Lily" situation, but you brought it all back full circle very nicely indeed. It was also nice to see another side of Sirius; someone who cares for his friend, and wants to fight in the war, and thinks astutely about the opinions of the student body. It was a very subtle form of character development, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the sort in the future - for all the characters, and not just Sirius.

This was a wonderful chapter, as always. And, as always, I'll see you again in the grey box at the end of the next one :)

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm glad you came back! Your feedback is always so great.

As far as length, yes, there will DEFINITELY be a substantial number of remaining chapters. I've obviously posted a few since this one, but I'm imagining as of now that it probably won't be done until the 75+ chapter range.

I'm glad you actually enjoyed the James-Sirius conversation. I definitely wanted to use it partly to continue to address the politics in play (not just with the war, but even with his friendship with Sirius who, though he gets closer to Lily later (and has started a wee bit), is not exactly fired up about the idea of James and Lily being together for a variety of reasons - some genuine, some selfish. But I had hoped that it would also show, as you picked up, that however he may behave publicly, Sirius is, even pre-Order and pre-Azkaban, much more thoughtful and determined than people tend to give him credit for. He's still flawed certainly as we know, but yes, he can be quite...serious...too :p

Thanks for R&R-ing!


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Review #24, by Dan Honest

30th January 2016:
This story has been brilliant. It seems as I've been thrown into a different bur the same hogwarts world as the books in Harry's time.
Hope you continue and can't wait to read the next one.
Thanks
Dan

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind feedback Dan! I definitely plan on continuing and have one more scene to write of Chapter 52 before it gets posted!

I greatly appreciate your reading and reviewing!


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Review #25, by august Honest

23rd January 2016:
I've been following this story since the very beginning and although you really tested my patience, I must say it was worth the wait! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for following along so faithfully and being patient with me! I hope to have another chapter posted soon!

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