Reading Reviews for A Blossoming Romance
44 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lauren T Trick Or Treating, A Halloween Party And Falling For Him

17th July 2016:
Update please, Ive been waiting for what seems like forever.@

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Review #2, by Lauren Trick Or Treating, A Halloween Party And Falling For Him

23rd July 2015:
Update please.. I've been checking every other day since I first started reading your stories

Author's Response: Hi Lauren.

I'm glad you like this and my other stories, but my life is super busy. Not having time or being too tired to write as well as having no inspiration is a killer. I think I have a few paragraphs wrote out for the next chapter but no updates, at least for now sorry.


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Review #3, by ohmymerlin Fights, Exploding Mothers And A Confession

20th April 2015:


Just a couple of things that stuck out to me:

I stayed silent, mum definitely knows. There's no going back now. Chloe is going to be in deep [mature word] and so am I.

Most of your story is in past tense (e.g. I murmured, Uncle Kevin hugged my sister etc.) so I think you should change this to keep up with the past tense: I stayed silent. Mum definitely knew. There was no going back now. Chloe was going to be in deep [mature word] and so was I.

Unless you want this as Alyssa's immediate thought process, well then I would make it in italics. It will just make it clearer and make it a bit nicer to read :)

He better not be taking me to some fast food restaurant, I thought as I twirled some more.

I would make the He better not be taking me to some fast food restaurant in italics so it really emphasises to the readers that it's Alyssa's train of thought :)

Also, I feel like you kind of rushed through Al and Alyssa's date (gushing and squeeing will be later on, never fear :P). You could definitely expand on it, I'd love to see them being all witty and banter-y whilst having dinner and feeling all the sparks fly and their incredible chemistry

Okay I'm sorry but Chloe YOU ARE SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY KNOW WHO YOU WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH?! You haven't even properly LIVED with the boy! It's ridiculous. It really bothers me that she just thinks she can get married and everything will work out happily ever after and maybe it will but I'm a cynic and I know the amount of change someone goes through once they finish school (I am 100% not the person I was when I was 17 and if I had picked someone to marry back then I would be divorced right now I can tell you that) and that YOU CAN STILL BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT NEED TO GET MARRIED I DO NOT SEE THE RUSH IN GETTING MARRIED WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND HUSBAND WHEN YOU ARE STILL IN SCHOOL YOU ARE STILL CHILDREN

*coughs* okay my old hag moment has disappeared. I'm glad that Chloe loves Lorcan and all that other nonsense (if it weren't 12+ I'd be using a much different word) but I feel like marriage is the most ridiculous thing.

Note, I'm not criticising you for writing it. I'm criticising Chloe because she's a dumb seventeen year old making silly choices about the rest of her life but for you to write her so well that it evokes my inner Babyboomer generation voice that criticises the youth these days is a pretty good talent ;) But I really like the relationship she has with Alyssa, it's sweet. I don't have a sister (I have a cousin who's like a sister but it's not the same) so I do love reading about it :')

ANYWAY OMG OMG OMG AL SAID HE LOVED ALYSSA yes he was drunk but drunk words are sober thoughts ;)


And that was definitely a lot more action! Thank you for delivering! :P

So this was a wonderful chapter, Sophie! Sorry for taking so long to come and review it! Feel free to request again! ♥

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Kayla!!

Okay, now I'm technically the worst given that it's taken me eight months to reply *hides*

I have seriously got to do edits on this, so I#'ll definitely be double checking the past/present tense thing. I think because of where I was writing different stories or writing when I was tired I wasn't paying enough attention to tenses.

Honestly I think this chapter was rushes, especially their date as you said. Mostly because I didn't have muse/was tired and wanted to get this done. But when I wrote this I was struggling for banter/their flirty-ness so when I re-write/edit I think I know what I'll be putting in.

HA! Chloe is a funny one, she reminds me a little of Luna in some way, she's definitely a free spirit in regards to doing her own thing and ignoring what her parents want. But you are most definitely right, she probably did rush it (and maybe a teeny part of doing it was to spite her mother) but who knows where things will go for her and Lorcan ;)

I definitely know how you feel, it's like everyone is suddenly having babies and getting engaged an I'm just here on my laptop in my pyjamas like 'what?' I don't have a sister either, always wished I did and the closest I ever sorta had was a cousin but as we've gotten older we're no longer as close.


Thank you so, so muc as always Kayla. Your fangirling over Al and Alyssa always makes me smile. Also given that I'm replying to this with only 6 days to Christmas, have a Merry Christmas too!!

-Sophie xx

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Review #4, by Sweets-Caandy Trick Or Treating, A Halloween Party And Falling For Him

1st April 2015:
Naaaw :')
That chapter was so great! And there was me, thinking - after reading the chapter title - that they miiight get a bit closer in this one or she'd maybe kind of realise that she likes/loves him, but no, she really tells him how she feels!? Bless the Firewhiskey :D
I really liked how she dressed up as a witch for trick or treating; I had to laugh really hard, too at that point.
And I liked the part where Ginny has that knowing look, maybe we'll get to know how much she guessed about Al and Lyss? ;)
The rest was also great, even if I wouldn't have expected Alyssa to really get it into her head that he was the one for her, or even that it could be more than good friends. But, afterall, she spent weeks being jealous of those other girls and so on, so maybe it wasn't that sudden to be honest...anyways, I really enjoyed reading this chapter and I'm looking forward to more :)


Author's Response: Hi Hanna,

I am super sorry it's taken me this long to reply, life's been busy.

I love writing these two so much and I wish I could get back into writing them again, as I haven't wrote for ages. Hopefully I can find muse soon.

The chapter title: I love coming up with them because they're a hint to what's coming and this one really fitted. As for the Firewhiskey, it was that mixed with Alyssa having made up her mind! (finally!)

Haha, oh the irony of Lyss being a witch :p

As for Ginny, who knows ;)

It was a long time coming that's for sure. Al knew already, but it took Alyssa a while to get on board of the same train. I'm hoping there will be more too some point.

Thank you so, much for reading and reviewing!!

-Sophie :D

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Review #5, by Sweets-Caandy Coffee Meetings, Pygmy Puffs And Late Night Kissing

28th January 2015:
I've started reading this story a few days ago and I am really excited about it! I really like pacing of it, and the way you designed the characters :) Especially the window climbing scenes were always great fun to read! ;)

Hoping for more, soon!

Author's Response: Hi!

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply, life has been so busy. Aww thank you, I'm excited about it too, lol.

I'm glad you think so! I love writing Albus and Alyssa especially as this is such a fun, fluffy story.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing, I just put the next chapter up.

-Sophie :D

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Review #6, by jessicalorewrites Coffee Meetings, Pygmy Puffs And Late Night Kissing

19th January 2015:

Oh. My. God.

(also, hi!)

This was another great chapter! I'm super super glad Albus and Casey are a thing of the past now, mostly because it means there was room for THAT end scene to happen;)

Also -- SO MANY PYGMY PUFFS!!! It makes me want one :( if only they were real, ahh. Albus giving Lyss that one at the end was so cUTE!

Only one very slight minor criticism, which was that I was initially confused when it switched back to Lyss' POV after being Albus's. Maybe just another pointer would be helpful?

Anyway, great work!

- Jess, xo

Author's Response: JESS! HI!

Haha I know!

This chapter was super fun to write because Al and Lyssa are getting somewhere (at last!).

YES, I want a pygmy puff. They are far too cute.

That's fine! I probably should have marked it too, but I will do when I edit.

Sorry for taking so long to answer (also I swear I will be around to review your new chapters soon) thanks again Jess :D


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Review #7, by dani m. A Flat Warming Party, Strange Butterflies And A Hint Of Jealousy

9th December 2014:
Good chapter. I really liked it. I hope you will be able to update on regular bases

Author's Response: Hi,

Thank you, I'm glad you are enjoying the story. Hopefully yes, chapter 15 is still being written but I'm rather busy lately so I haven't been writing much. Chapter thirteen will definitely be up sometime next week.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.


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Review #8, by HEG Hangovers, Annoying Mothers And Albus Potter

7th December 2014:
Hey! I saw your link on the forums so I decided to start reading this!

Characters: My first impressions of Alyssa are that she is slightly shy and ruled over by her mother. They seem to have a rather big, complicated family which was quite hard to keep up with and a few times, I found myself muddled up with the characters. That's probably just me though. Also, in this, Albus seems to be portrayed as a cocky, confident boy even though in the last epilogue, JK Rowling described him as more of a shy boy. I do like this take on it though. I like how you have put Alyssa in Gryffindor and Albus in Slytherin. It's new and more fresh than some other stories I've read on this site. Alyssa's mum seems a bit of a "pushy but means well" mum which is always a good character to have in a book. In the story description, you have implied that Alyssa and Albus will get together but I really wonder how ...

Emotions: there isn't really much to say for this section. I think that you have handled all the "feels" well though because I really feel as though you have put me in her boots. I also get a small hint that Alyssa's mum is ever so slightly disappointed in her for being single. There is an obvious air of love between Albus and Alyssa, though Alyssa doesn't even seem in the mood to TALK to Albus. I'm looking forward to finding out how you spin the love story. I just really hope that you won't go to quick with the relationship.

Plot: this plot (seems to be) is used a lot and isn't very original. Boy loves girl. Girl doesn't love boy. They fall in love. I hope that you have some plans up your sleeve so that you can give it your own original flair, otherwise it could end up being same old, same old love story. It is well written though and u love the idea of Alyssa's personality weaving the tale. I like how we get to hear what she thinks about Albus and how she changes her thoughts towards him throughout the book.

Grammar/spelling: perfect. I couldn't find a SINGLE fault of your grammar or spelling in this chapter. Obviously very well written.

Overall comment: I thought that this was gripping, well written and a great read! I'll definitely be reading more of this soon.

Missy :)

Author's Response: Hi, Missy,

Aww thanks for giving it a read :) Sorry for the late reply.

I LOVE writing Alyssa. She is certainly over ruled by her mother, especially as Alyssa is the one at home all the time (aside from her little sister), she can't escape like her other siblings can. It is a bit muddly in this chapter, I hate introducing characters I either do it randomly or all at once sort of thing, so don't worry it isn't just you.

Long ago Albus was quite shy, a reason he and Alyssa bonded as well as the fact they've always been next door and their mother's put them together due to being the same age. Going to Hogwarts definitely changed him into who he is in this story. With them being in 'rival' houses is what caused them to grow apart as friends. As I said above, with Alyssa being the only child whose at home and does her own thing, her mum is exactly as how you described her. Eventually yes, but it's a bumpy ride haha.

Her mum is, whilst Alyssa does her own thing her mum wishes she would have a boyfriend which is the opposite of most mothers, haha. There definitely is something between them even if they don't know it just yet. It's been a while since the two talked apart from the occasional 'hi' out of politeness. With being hungover and being late to fetch her nephew Alyssa is really not in the mood to talk to anyone, let alone Albus haha. A little heads up if you do get confused as to how much time has passed between chapters just ask.

I am a sucker for cliches I adore them, especially when it involves my favourite characters. Normally I've seen it where the girl loves the boy, and he doesn't for whatever reason so I decided to shake it up a little. Albus is a softie at heart. Hopefully it does come across, there are a few things thrown in to mix it up. Thank you! Alyssa's perspective of Albus changes a lot, she can't make her mind up at one point

Grammar/spelling is one of my weaker points and I take ages going over things, so thank you so much for saying that.

Thank you, Missy!

-Sophie :)

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Review #9, by jessicalorewrites A Flat Warming Party, Strange Butterflies And A Hint Of Jealousy

7th December 2014:
ALYSSA NO! HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU'RE JUST FRIENDS NO. Albus is definitely right, she's sooo lying to herself ;)

I absolutely love the idea that Albus is into gaming and that he's just the typical teenage boy that grunts when they're so engrossed in their games haha. I'm surprised he wasn't still laid there playing when the party began :p

No Casey no! *insert multiple frowny faces* this makes me very sad. Why do they have to be like this with each other ughh.

Another awesome chapter wooo keep it up I want MORE :p


Author's Response: Hey, Jess!

I KNOW RIGHT! Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. You'll find out soon enough, hopefully.

Little headcanon here, but I like to think that after Harry saw Dudley with games consoles that Dudley would have let his kids play with them. And after a visit Albus got into them too. But yeah he's a typical teenage boy, haha. Alyssa made him move, much to his dismay otherwise he would have been :D

I know, multiple frowny faces right back at you. It was killing me for to write this chapter because of her and Al and Lyssa arguing.

Hopefully there shall be one before Christmas, I'm in the middle of writing Chapter 15 as we speak.

Thanks again, Jess :D

-Sophie :)

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Review #10, by ohmymerlin Bridesmaids, Best Men And Sober Kisses

2nd December 2014:
Hey, Sophie! Sorry for the crazy delay on this! But I'm finally here! :D

First of all, OH MY GOODNESS CHLOE AND LORCAN GOT MARRIED! And Al and Alyssa kissed whilst sober! DEVELOPMENTTT~~~ :P

Okay, I've picked up a few things so I've written it all down below.

In fact I've avoided the Potter household all together and the blind on my window has been kept firmly shut much to Chloe's protests of letting the sunlight in.

In fact, I've avoided the Potter household all together and the blind on my window has been kept firmly shut, much to Chloe's protests of not letting the sunlight in. -- you just said that the sunlight was being let in but if the blind was shut/down, it would block it out, haha :P

But more than that, today's the fateful date in my baby sister is getting married.

But more than that, today is the fateful day that my baby sister gets married. -- I just liked the way the latter sounded. The first sentence seemed very awkward and didn't roll on my tongue nicely.

Normally I'm used to be up and going to bed at weird times but getting up at five to travel into central London to the hotel was a bit far fetched in my opinion.

Normally, I'm used to waking up and going to bed at weird times but getting up at five to travel into central London to the hotel was a bit far fetched in my opinion. -- I just fixed it a little bit because it sounded a bit clunky

Our fluffy white cat Snowflake looking miffed as she meowed at Chloe who promptly fed her the ham.

Our fluffy, white cat, Snowflake, looked miffed as she meowed at Chloe who promptly fed her the hame. -- LOVED this sentence! Loved it all, you just had to add a few commas and changed 'looking' to 'look'

I am really not a morning person.

I was really not a morning person -- need to keep this in past tense to align it with the rest of the story.

This was one of the reasons I love my mother so very much

This was one of the reasons I loved my mother so very much -- just needed to add a 'd' to the end of love ;)

My yellow bug was on the drive

My yellow bug was on the driveway -- just left out 'way' here, unless in England you guys just call it a drive, so then ignore me!

I was looking forward to just get to this hotel and sleep.

I was looking forward to just getting to this hotel and having a sleep. -- just fixed it up a little bit so it would flow nicely

Also, you said Chloe was going shopping at seven, and then returning before ten to have breakfast, but if they left the house at six, by the time they would have gotten there (including the time from when they got lost) it would be about seven, so Alyssa would practically have a ten minute sleep. Which is a little useless :P Maybe make it for eight, as most shops don't even open at seven anyway ;)

Which is always a plus!

Which was always a plus! -- Again, you need to keep the past tense so it matches with all your story. You've got a few sentences in which you do this, so you might want to focus on that?

making sure that me thoughts were not about to come true.

making sure my thoughts were not about to come true -- just a lil typo here!

We've arrived. Al x

Okay, the only thing that bothered me here was the 'x' Al put at the end of his text. I've got quite a few guy friends and relatives, and not once have I ever seen them put little kisses at the ends of texts. Even when the guy likes the girl, I don't think he does it. I also don't think he does it when he has a girlfriend but I've never seen my guy friends/relatives text their girlfriend, except for my brother who doesn't do it either. It's just a tiny nitpicky thing but I thought I should let you know :)

I swear one of the guys muttered, 'She looks hot," as I past him

As I walked past, I could have sworn one of the guys muttered, "She looks hot." -- again, just reaaranging the words to make it sound nicer

I was breathing heavy as I loosened my arms

I was breathing heavily as I loosened my arms -- this just makes it flow a little better

Seriously though, aside from those above things, you've improved so much. This was a really well done chapter!

You asked if the pacing was fast, and admittedly, it did feel a bit fast and choppy when they were getting ready for the wedding -- it would have been great to slow that down a bit but it didn't really matter too much. I mean, I've never been IN a wedding (attended a few, though) and it seems like it would just be a day where everything goes by really quickly so, it could have been worse!

In terms of detailing, I think maybe you could go more in depth with Alyssa's emotions. Especially with the guilt she's having by lying to her family about Chloe's wedding. You describe them very well, but I think you could dig a little deeper! I BELIEVE IN YOU :D

Definitely seemed real, yes!

Characterisation was excellent!

So overall, this was a fantastic chapter, Sophie! You've done super well on it! Sorry about the delay. I didn't realise it'd been over two months :O

Feel free to request again!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Kayla, hi!

It's finally, I honestly forgot I even requested haha so it was a nice surprise :)

I KNOW! haha, first Chloe and Lorcan, then Alyssa and Al, love is in the air :p

YOU ARE LITERALLY A STAR! I've gone over and edited the little things as well as other changes/things I added in. As for the Al putting and x it's probably because I do it all the time with my friends, it's a habit I guess which sneaked in :p But you are right. The 'drive V's driveway' thing. Technically it is a called a driveway but I always think of those big fancy houses with those long driveway's that lead up, so I call it a drive, it might just be a thing from where I'm from.

I was a bridesmaid for my brother a few years ago and it was crazy! Literally the morning/getting ready goes so fast. I definitely think there were bits which did move faster than normal, but its normal (I think?).

Alyssa's emotions, ahh so many different ones. I've been so tired lately I haven't been writing but I most probably will go back over the chapter and add to them. THANK YOU :D

I've said it before, but you are a star and you deserve a medal (again) ♥

-Sophie ♥

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Review #11, by oldershouldknowbetter Hangovers, Annoying Mothers And Albus Potter

7th November 2014:
Well it's about time, I've read and admired you work for ages, but till now I have not left you a single review. I've seen your reviews all over a lot of the other stories I like and I have always meant to review one of yours. Let me correct that shameful state of affairs.

I never really thought much about Albus as a character before I started reading the HPFF fics, I'm in this largely for the Rose/Scorpius because as we all know they are the ONE TRUE PARING!
There have been some other stories but it has been your two stories in particular that have alerted me to Albus' potential as a character, if not a viable lead.

With this story and 'Unexpected Pregnancy' (hereto-after UP) it is like you have done two similar but opposite thought experiments. In this story you have posited the question, 'what would it be like if Albus and the OC didn't interact at all at Hogwarts?' UP asks the opposite, of course, 'what would it be like if Albus and the OC interacted a bit too much?' And by 'interacted I mean ...

The exigencies of each story require much different characters and it is a paean to your characterisation that the Flick of UP and Alyssa of ABR are vastly dissimilar. Two very strong female leads and neither of them confusible with the other. Part of this has to do with the events in either story, in UP an early and largely unwanted (at the time) pregnancy has devastating effects upon the heroine. Alyssa has not had any such trials in her life up till now, but your characterisation is so good that even had she, her character would still have her own flavour and be totally different to Flick's.

We begin the tale with the heroine out of sorts after a heavy night before, but it allows a lot of exposition to be delivered without too much of the headache involved with the usual info-dump. We are presented with a very modern woman and almost fully realised, in my mind at least: single; not a great job, but it will do for now; a mum who wants the best for her and that best is a boyfriend: and siblings. From this interaction at the breakfast table we get the impression that Alyssa's life is in a bit of a holding pattern and that her world really revolves around her siblings. The dead-end job allows for it, but her younger sister has a boyfriend (seemingly a serious one) and her older sister has a kid. It is a good place to start a story - Alyssa's 'life' has yet to truly begin, it hasn't yet 'blossomed'.

Albus is mentioned, but it is more of a mum thing, a when they were kids thing, and as such should be dismissed.

Speaking of Albus here he comes along like a white knight in the next scene. I remember paying more attention to Alyssa's words than her thoughts in this scene and that wrong emphasis hung over my head as I read the subsequent chapters. She says they never talked at school, so why start now? I thought this was a bit odd - never talking or interacting at school at all - that speaks of deliberate intent to avoid one another and it was a jarring influence upon my appreciation of their burgeoning relationship.

Upon re-reading this chapter however I realised I was mistaken, as too was Alyssa. She may say they haven't talked - and probably even think it - but her thoughts prove the lie of her words. She did talk to him a little; she is 'mesmerized' by the colour of his eyes; his messy hair subconsciously bothers her - oh you poor girl you really have no chance at all do you and you don't even know it.

Though for now the situation between the two is nothing short of awkward.

We get some development of the character of her older sister. You really are going to make all the characters in this tale live and breathe aren't you. Estrangement between her and the father of her child; hmm, let us see what happens there in the fullness of time. Her sister's reactions upon receiving her birthday present lead us to believe that there is probably still some love there.

I like all the little subtle pieces of characterisation of Albus. Like him playing happily with Hayden on the floor

The car trip ends with Albus walking away leaving Alyssa almost speechless and wondering what the hell happened.

This is a good start to a story filled with rich, likeable characters, it promises much to come and from memory delivers.

Author's Response: Hey,

First off thank you for nominating Alyssa as best OC in the Dobby's the other month! It was a really nice surprise!

I was kind of the same when I first found HPFF, I was highly curious about the Next Gen characters especially after reading Delicate and it's sequel. My love of ScoRose grew from there as well as the other characters. They are definitely my OTP now :D They're relationship isn't that huge in this as it's primarily focused on Albus and Alyssa but they do have their moments together, especially in Chapter thirteen which I've just finished writing.

I LOVE Albus as a character, especially because some of my favourite authors write him so different and it's refreshing to see/read. A lot of people love James Sirius but Albus is the one whose really captured my heart.

Unexpected Parenthood has become my baby over the last two years because it's my longest story to date and the only one I've managed to complete. Haha, oh yeah Flick and Albus interacted a bit too much. It's fun writing different stories but with the same character, sometimes it is slightly confusing as in one story I have someone say Molly II for example, characterised one way but in another story she's totally different.

There are two things I kind of hate when I'm writing, one is starting chapters off and two is introducing new characters. So I'm glad it doesn't come off as too informative, if that makes sense. Alyssa is definitely modern and with both her parents being half-blood's they've grown up with Muggle customs which they've then passed onto Alyssa and her siblings. I LOVE writing Alyssa because there are things I relate too and I just love her character in general. She is definitely stuck in a rut, she's only been out of Hogwarts a year and has never really had a set plan for her life or that she knows what she wants to do. Things are still working out for her.

Her siblings especially Ade and Chloe plays a big part in her life as she is closest to them compared to the youngest two. I think that is one of the reason's I picked the title 'A Blossoming Romance' because it's not just Alyssa's relationship with Albus that blossoms, but she does as well throughout the story finding things she wants to do.

Haha, her mother mentioning Albus is actually bigger than things may seem right now. But for now at least it is just a mum thing.

Albus is her knight in this chapter and the next. Ahh the two of them, it's definitely an odd thing. But they grew apart, in a later chapter Albus' sort of explains why. He hated he was in Slytherin and Alyssa in Gryffindor, when the two dreamed of being in the same house and getting up to all this stuff that he had heard from James. They made new friends and drifted apart, even if they did have classes together they didn't speak due to being in their own little friendship groups and as she said they hadn't spoken in so long so why start talking out of the blue?

They've grown up a lot since they stopped talking so things have changed. As you said the lie is within her thoughts :D She's thought of him and seen him too, they do live next door after all. Haha, I really love that, she's got not chance and she doesn't even know it! Not only because it's so correct and fitting but I think that's how it is with love, or falling for someone.

I love writing back stories and even when I'm reading fics I love it when more about the character's past is revealed. Aww thank you, I love giving my characters things that make them come alive. Ade and Deano have history for sure, as for the present, there is still love there even if Ade hates him for what he did.

He's not as bad as Alyssa makes him out to be, it's just her opinion of things that happened at school or in the past.

There's a few more moment like that, haha. Where Alyssa is left confused and speechless.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing


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Review #12, by Dianainga Realisations, Talks And Chocolate Biscuits

25th September 2014:
Great chapter...surprised that Ginny and Harry were so blas about Albus having a girl sleep over, even if it was Lyss. Please keep adding chapters quickly...i am hooked!

Author's Response: Hey!

They are bothered but there is a reason they aren't as bothered about it being Alyssa. However after Alyssa leaves, Ginny does give Albus a stern talking too. The next chapter is still in the works and I'm updating something else, so it may be a while.

Thanks for taking the time to read and review.


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Review #13, by jessicalorewrites Realisations, Talks And Chocolate Biscuits

25th September 2014:

I was super excited to see this has been uPDATED YES! I know you're working on lots of different WIPs so never feel pressured to update this, just know that I love you that little bit more when you do ;) hahah


AND THE TATTOO - AH. I really want a tattoo, but I feel like I might steer away from the cartoon snake for my own one :p

Albuss and Lyss are seriously so cute I'm in love with their relationship. Aw. I feel like it's so dangerous that they can just slide open their windows though oh my god what about burglars?

Caine is my brother. He really really is. All they ever do is play their videogames super loud! UGh..

Please please DO update soon because this is a super amazing WIP that I adore.



Author's Response: Hey Jess!

I know I was so excited writing this one. This was actually at the top of my update list as it was already pre written, so don't worry too much :p Perfect timing I think.


I just had to put that it there, Albus' cartoon snake it was just too cute/funny not too. Plus I thought it fitted in with the fact there was the rumour about Harry getting a Hungarian Horntail :p I would too, since I'm a Gryffindor :D

Writing them, my mind just turns mushy because of the fluff! Ahh don't you worry, they do lock it afterwards and I've changed it slightly now about it. With Chloe being there most of the time, it was easy for her to leave it open for Alyssa. It was just that night she left it unlatched and a teeny bit open, but I get your worry. Plus, protection spells, magic after all :p

Caine, I think he is honestly probably the same as about 50% of the teenage boy population, lol.

Hehe, I'm updating UP first as it's been forever then probably Off-Limits before this as Chapter 11 is still in the works.

Thanks again Jess, see you again soon *hugs*


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Review #14, by ohmymerlin Wedding Planning, Lies And Spending Way Too Much Time With Potter

25th September 2014:
Hey, Sophie! So sorry about the crazy delay in this! I honestly didn't think I would take nearly three months to get back to you :(

Okay, first of all I honestly think Chloe is being extremely selfish. I understand she wants to get married but there are so many things wrong with that. She's way too young -- school relationships are a lot different to real world relationships and she won't understand the difference until she's out of school and then it'll just be too late. The second reason is that a wedding and a marriage is not only a celebration of two people in love but of two families joining together and hiding this all from her family is absolutely ridiculous. I don't care what Chloe's reasons are, I do not agree or approve of them! :P Mumma Kayla wants to set this girl straight and give her a stern talking to! I'm literally so angry at her hahaha so kudos for writing such a believable character! :D

Okay, so you asked if the interaction between Al and Alyssa seems real. Honestly, I think it's a bit too casual but I've never really been in that position. I mean, I've had people who I haven't talked to in ages but we'd never purposely ignored each other so when we got together it was like nothing had ever changed. But I think you've written it rather well. And even if it's not completely realistic (because honestly if I was Alyssa I'd be a little annoyed and not so willing to talk to him, but that's because I'm a grump haha) everyone still loves it :D

I do like those little reactions Alyssa gets when she's around Al. I think we all get like that around our crush (especially a topless one!) and I think you wrote that very well! :)

However, I did notice a few sentences that sounded a bit odd and could probably be reworded a bit more nicely:

Stretching I made a non human noise as I felt my back click, which made Albus who had just come back, look at me like I had grown a third arm or something.

Maybe try: I groaned as I stretched. Al gave me a look as if I'd grown an extra head as he heard my back click.
This probably could still use some tweaking but see how it just sounds just a little nicer?

I was pretty sure Albus was so close I could feel him breathing, correction I could hear him breathing. Like my own it was fast.

We were so close together that I could hear him breathing.
See how it just flows just a little better? I didn't know how to add the fast breathing part because every way I worded it made it sound like they were panting from running a race or something :P I just think the 'like my own it was fast' sounds a bit odd.

Albus Potter was kissing me with tongues and I was kissing him back in the same way.

Albus Potter was kissing me deeply and I reciprocated.
Now, this may be a personal thing but when I saw the 'kissing with tongues' part it made me wrinkle my nose because it gave me an image of a slobbery gross kiss you see drunk people do in the middle of a club :P

Okay, so basically I think you're doing SO WELL with this story! I can definitely see so much improvement and I have to say that you've got such an addicting writing style! I can never stay away from it! There's just something about the way you write ;)

So again, so sorry about the delay! I didn't realise it'd nearly been three months :S Hopefully next time won't be like that!

Feel free to request again! It seems that I have a LOT of catching up to do!!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hey Kayla!

Ahh that's okay. I honestly forgot until you reminded me on the forums :p

Chloe, of Chloe. She is of sorts. Plus as you said she is most definitely too young, not to mention getting permission from her mum, when she wasn't sure what it was. School relationships, oh boy, most of them don't last but some do, depending on how this goes you'll find out eventually whether Chloe and Lorcan will be that small percentage who stays together. Haha, you can set her straight, though she might not listen!! But I agree definitely about the marriage bit :D Haha thank you.

Al and Alyssa, ha they're fun to write what with being awkward. Same here, it's a bit weird but as far as those two are concerned nothing about their friend/relationship is normal. Haha, deep down she is annoyed but secretly she isn't that annoyed :p

Those moment are my favourite to write. Their little moments ♥ And topless boys, need I say more :p

Oh those two get drunk together at some point ;) but I totally see what you mean with each little thing!!

Thank you!! You're partly to thank for some things, so thank you again ♥ :D Ahh it's perfectly okay.

-Sophie :D

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Review #15, by aroundabouts Realisations, Talks And Chocolate Biscuits

25th September 2014:
Please update faster. This story is so good already.

Author's Response: Hey,

It's literally just been updated so it may be a while. I'm working on the next chapter though.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!!


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Review #16, by i love prongs Fights, Exploding Mothers And A Confession

10th September 2014:
Love love love this story and am so glad Albus finally made his move. More Al and lyss next chapter please!
When will you be updating? Soon I hope x

Author's Response: Hi!

Aww thank you, I'm glad you love it. I know it was definitely time for Al to announce things. There is more of them in the next chapter, coming soon as it's in the queue now!

Thanks for reading and reviewing.


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Review #17, by jessicalorewrites Fights, Exploding Mothers And A Confession

31st August 2014:
Ahhh how did I miss this new chapter?!?!

Wow, I can't believe their mum knows now. Somehow I expected it to play out longer but I'm glad she found out sooner rather than later :) also can we squeal about the fact Michael is gay?!? That's been a head canon of mine since forever hahaa. I love seeing him and Kevin here!


Ultimate cute date. I'm so relieved it finally happened yay! And that they had such a good time ;) wink wink nudge nudge.

I can't possibly wait for more D: I NEED IT ALL NOW!

Well done because this chapter is as amazing as the others!


Author's Response: Hey Jess!

I wanted it to be over by the time Chloe went back to Hogwarts which was pretty soon. Haha, I love the idea of him being gay, it's one of my headcanon too! But he and Kevin are great to write and Lyss is pretty close with them both too. That's sort of how I came up with this in a way too, as I wanted her mother to be the sister of someone who was already in the books but we didn't know too much about.

Albus, Oh Albus. He's a cutie, that's for sure! I adore writing him and Alyssa together so much :D

That boy knows what he's doing for sure. Plus he wanted to wow Lyss after her terrible dates that he mother set her up with. Ayli is pretty much the inner fan girl of you :p since she is so glad that the date is actually happening too. Oh they certainly did have a good time XD

Hehe, Chapter 10 is done and I'll probably put it in the queue soon. Chapter 11 is about 30% done too.

Thanks for reading and reviewing as always ♥

Soph ♥

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Review #18, by laurenenoonan Bridesmaids, Best Men And Sober Kisses

9th August 2014:
I love this storey sooo much and am really looking toward to the next update - I need my Albus and Alyssa fix :)

Author's Response: Heyy,

Good news as soon as the queue re-opens I shall be putting chapter nine in it :D

So it should be up any time after the 16th.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by jessicalorewrites Bridesmaids, Best Men And Sober Kisses

11th July 2014:
Howdy for the last time today!

I know I've said this a lot, but this chapter was actually the cutest thing I've EVER READ. Seriously. The wedding scene and all the prep leading up to it was just adorably sweet. The descriptive language you used made it easy for me to picture in my head. I'm just so so glad it all went off without a hitch!

Albus and Alyssa seem to really be shaping up. I do hope they become a couple soon, especially with Albus basically blurting out his feelings for her all along. She's completely oblivious to him ;) hehehe. Again, I would love to see a good, lengthy conversation between them just to get the dynamic between them established a little better, but they are so cute together regardless!:)

GIMME AN UPDATE NOW (okay no, take your time lovely :p)


{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Hey again!

I had so much worry for this chapter, so thank you!!! I am so glad it works okay. BUT YES IT IS SO CUTE! I genuinely thought there was too much but now I'm glad it works perfectly. I had this vision in my head as I was writing this so I am super happy it came out well. No hitches so far at least.

Thinks are definitely shaping/heating up between them. And I think the line that Lyss thinks when she's watching Chloe and Lorcan take their first dance sort of sums her and Al up. By saying she needs a boy who looks at her like that, when in reality she does but she hasn't realised it. Oh yes, Albus did confess slightly and yes Lyssa is completely oblivious which I love :D

Haha, No promises but I'm going through and doing edits on UP and ARR then probably this, so they'll probably get updates first. But I am now in the mood to write more of this, so wait and see :p

Thank you so much dear for all the reviews and for the House Cup, Go Lions!! :p

Soph x

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Review #20, by jessicalorewrites Wedding Planning, Lies And Spending Way Too Much Time With Potter

11th July 2014:
Hullo :3

Yet another fab chapter! A few too many characters again for my liking but they all seemed necessary so I don't really have much to complain about. I'm still not over the fact Chloe and Lorcan are getting married :o but it was so so sweet how they asked Lyss and Lysander to be best man/chief bridesmaid!!

I personally feel like there could be more talking between Albus and Alyssa. They do an awful lot of kissing for just friends and they don't seem to address this issue at all ;) clearly they both have feelings for each other!

Just a few grammatical errors I noticed. In the bit "Chloe looked smug as she explained," it should end with a full stop instead of a comma. Also, "venue's" doesn't need an apostrophe. Only small minor things don't worry :)

Overall, still amazing!


{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Howdy!

I love that bit since it was perfect as they were all together. I know and the fact Chloe announced it would be in six days!! Is it any wonder Alyssa freaked out.

Oh yes, they have done a lot more kissing that talking so far. But it may change. They're both confused right now, well Alyssa more than Al because she's getting all these feelings whilst Al has had them all along (but shhh!) Alyssa definitely doesn't want to own up to anything right now, feelings wise. But yes they do! :D

I have yet to edit this, but thanks for pointing it out! Thanks again!!

-Soph x

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Review #21, by jessicalorewrites Helping Sisters, Weird Boyfriends And A Major Secret

11th July 2014:

Woah, Lorcan and Chloe are getting married?!?! At first I thought that was a super strange muggle studies project but literally about a line before you dropped the bombshell I'd figured it out. I can't believe it, woah. I'm really not surprised Luna and Rolf agreed to let Lorcan though -- they seem like very liberated parents!

Forgive me for being wrong, but I would personally presume that since the legal age in the wizarding world is 17 that this would then reduce the age of marriage consent to 17 too, rather than the 18 it is in the uk. Or maybe the wizarding world wanted to keep it at 18 anyway -- I guess ages don't always match up!

Overall a really cute chapter. Particularly with the Alyssa/Al meetup ;) I don't understand why this doesn't have more reviews because it is really really good!


{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Yoo Hoo!

I sort of got the idea about Chloe's project as I had to do something similar for my course to get an OCN (which was pointless I might add). But unlike Chloe I don't have a wedding file :p

Haha, I know. I was building it up with her and the wedding project she had to do as homework then Bang she drops the bombshell on Alyssa. I definitely see Luna and Rolf as free spirits, almost hippy like. Especially when it comes to love.

Legal age in the wizarding world is 17, yes! But since they are getting married in the muggle world I kept it at 18. Plus it adds for drama to come with her mother and getting Lyssa to help her.

Oh yes, lots of Al/Alyssa action going on, both of them in just towels too at one point ;)

Aww thanks again m'dear!! :D

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Review #22, by jessicalorewrites Confusing Memories, Green Eyed Boys And Mothers Who Just Won't Listen

11th July 2014:
Hello once more :3

I'm still loving the leading two characters in this fic. Your characterisation of Al in particular is amazing. He seems quiet and kind of reserved but maybe that's just because him and Alyssa still aren't back to their old pace of friendship that they had when they were kids. I know they've said they're going to be friends now but it will still take some time to get comfortable with each other, I presume.

I'm surprised Lyss doesn't remember Ayli's birthday but then again, maybe not, because she was pretty drunk :P I know if I'd spent a night in the stars with Albus Potter I wouldn't be forgetting it so easily.

The last bit really made me giggle. I share a room with my sister but thankfully she's quite a bit younger than me so she isn't bringing any guys home :P I hope we get to see more of Lorcan soon -- other than a flash of his bum!!


{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Hola!

I LOVE writing Al, he is one my favourite next-gen kids and I adore him a hundred per cent. He is quite quiet in this, but as you said he and Lyss aren't back to what they were like seven/eight years ago. They are friends for now but it will take time, if there is going to be a relationship.

She was pretty drunk indeed! :p But she does remember some bits such as Al's smile, his eyes and that they said they would be friends. Oh I don't think I would either! No forgetting that in a hurry.

HA! Oh yes you will see more of Lorcan :p and Chloe since their relationship is fun to write. I'm lucky I don't have to deal with that :)

Thanks again!

-Soph x

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Review #23, by jessicalorewrites Ayli's Birthday, Making Friends And Drunken Kisses

11th July 2014:


I thought you might've tricked us all with the chapter title and that it'd be a drunken kiss between someone else so I am so so happy to discover that this was not the case and there was some Alyssa/Al action to make my inner girl squeal to no end. I'm a little confused about Albus' sexuality now... he said he's not "supposed" to like girls and yet he obviously appears to like Lyss. I guess he's just working all this out for himself :)

Them sleeping under the stars together though is just the cutest thing ever. I want my very own Albus Potter so I can sleep with him outside :(

Can I also just comment and say that I love how you give your characters siblings? It's always something that I not in fanfiction, but a lot of writers don't really give their characters any brothers or sisters - or if they do, it's only the 1. Actually it's not just fanfic -- this is true of most literature! I know the average amount of children for most families is 2.4 but coming from a person with 10 siblings/half-siblings, I appreciate larger family representation :P

Overall, another fab chapter!! The plot is moving forward happily and I'm just eager to see what happens next.


{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Hey,


Hehe, that would have been evil if it was some random person. But no it is most definitely Albus! HA! Oh my god, I didn't realise it before that it does make him sound a little gay. But nope Al is definitely straight. When he said it, it was just meant in the way that boys say I don't like girls' when they're younger because they think we have germs or something :p

Albus is a cutie, and yes it is the most adorable thing a boy could do. Sleeping under the stars all snuggled up together, just perfect.

I only have two (older siblings) so I was always wishing for a younger one when I was little, but I had enough little cousins (as the years went on) all younger than me to make up for it. I definitely have a thing for writing larger families or OC's with lots of siblings because I know I would hate being an only child and I actually want a large family when the times comes, so I think that influences me writing it that way. But man 10!! A girl I once knew had 15/16 half/full siblings!

Thank you dear, this chapter didn't agree with me so I'm glad you like it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!!

-Soph x

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Review #24, by jessicalorewrites Birthday Planning, Summer And Topless Boys

11th July 2014:
Hello again!

SQUEE. ALBUS AND LYSS ARE TOO CUTE!! I know they have a long way to go yet before a relationship can be put on the table but I think when it does (hopefully) happen they are going to be so adorable together.

If I'm completely honest this chapter was a little too busy for my taste however you did handle the amount of characters quite well. I felt like maybe not all of them were necessary bearing in mind some had barely any input, but my presumption is that this is mostly an introduction to them and we'll get to read more about them later :)

Ayli is my favourite (other than Al/Alyssa) at the moment. She seems very creative and open-minded and her mum's shop seems like the best thing ever. I wish I could draw like she seems to be able to do :(

About to go on and read the next chapter and by the look of the chapter title I am VERY EXCITED!


{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Heya,

Albus and Alyssa I KNOW!! They are and I love writing them because of that. They sure do have a long way to go right now but they shall be even more adorable if they get together.

I HATE introducing new characters and since they play more of a part later in the story I didn't want to throw them in then. Which is why I thought them in the birthday planning bit was better. It is bust and I do think its a bit all over the place.

Ayli is sure fun to write, she's got that craziness but also kindness and loving side to her as well as her being so creative. I wanted a different job for them since mostly you see Healers, Auror's etc but since they haven't been out of school that long it didn't seem right for them to go into such big carers.

Be excited for the next one! Haha :p
Thanks again!

-Soph x

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Review #25, by jessicalorewrites Short Dresses, Awful Dates And A Knight With Messy Black Hair

11th July 2014:
Hello again!

This chapter was another delight and is certainly developing well. Again, it made me giggle at the best of times and then also grimace when Terry the Creep started being - well - creepy. Where are that man's manners?! To leer and stare at Alyssa like that... it's just plain weird. I do hope she'll speak to her mother and won't be off on anymore dates with him!

In a way though, I think it was worth it just to be saved by Albus Potter ;) *swoons* at first I thought maybe Chloe HAD sent him but then, as Lyss says, she can tell he is lying. Which just makes the whole affair even sweeter, in a way.

There was just one sentence that I thought kind of interrupted the flow a little bit, which was "he was already there, looking up and down the street like a hawk looking for its prey." If you changed one of the looks to something like searching then it would make the whole thing run a little smoother :)

Overall another excellent read! Eeek


{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Hi again!

Terry the Creep is a huge creep, obviously. He earned the nickname a lot more than Awful Terry. Where are they indeed! He doesn't have a clue honestly. There are definitely some werido's out there in the world. Lyss definitely has words with her mother.

Yes, Albus Potter is just perfect and I adore him. Ahh there is a an explanation about this in later chapters about whether Chloe has sent him, but of course Al is lying so who knows. Al is a sweetie!

Ooh thank you! It does sound better, when I get around to editing, I shall change it :D

Thanks again!

-Soph x

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