Reading Reviews for Rabbit Heart
  
121 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 Heart To Handle

18th June 2014:
After too many weeks of not reading this story, I'm back! :D

Wow, this mysterious rabbit boy just keeps on getting more mysterious. When will it ever end?! Dillon doesn't seem like an evil person, necessarily, but then again, there is the indisputable fact that the rabbits ARE evil... Actually, there's something kind of sinister about Dillon, besides his eerie rabbit mind control trick, of course. He creeps me out, just like his rabbits do.

Is Dillon stealing Wren's magical powers? I think that Dillon does have some kind of magic within him--maybe inherited from his mother--but no Hogwarts letter=he's not a wizard. But he was controlling the rabbits before he met Wren (I assume), so he had to have some sort of connection with them. This is the first time that I've really seen him directly influencing other people to do his bidding through a fluffy bunny, but perhaps he's done it to Wren before now. Perhaps all those times that she gets headaches and has to go spend time with Bunny, Dillon is tapping into her powers and stealing them. Somehow. I don't know. Grr.

And the first day of school only further proves that Wren is losing her magic. I love the variety of classes that you've got in this story--much different from the usual ones. The curriculum seems to have undergone a facelift! However, Wren's skill and ability with magic can't keep up with the demanding coursework. She can do Wingardium Leviosa, but how long will it be until she can't even do that?!

Magical History has changed, and for the better! I would take that class if I went to Hogwarts, but I wouldn't really be fond of the group essay thing, per se. xP But it's a creative twist on the boring old "Professor Binns Lecture Hour" idea. By the way, what did they do with Professor Binns? Does he still haunt the room, or did they have to exorcise him? Why was there an ectoplasmic handprint on the wall?

Nate seems like a nice kid. I'm not quite sure what relevance he's going to have in the story yet, but I think he's going to play some role--perhaps in the discovering of the evil rabbits' powers? Why did he move to Hogwarts? Was he home-schooled before? Does he have any connection to Dillon whatsoever?

Wow, Wren is really angry about people thinking that she's like her father. I wonder if her reaction was worse because she couldn't be with her rabbit and she was having trouble with her magic... And how does Nate even know that she's Neville's daughter, anyways?!

In contrast, Rose is proud to be "just like Mommy." I bet she's going to get annoying later. :) Also, I like the establishment of Scorose in this chapter. It's not too loud, but talks about it just enough to set the ship up for later chapters. :D

You've written a lot of chapters since I last reviewed! I can't wait to read them! :D

As always, this was very well-written and sufficiently creepy! I expect my rabbit nightmares to return quite soon! :)

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #2, by Lostmyheart Have a Heart

14th June 2014:
Hi!

Ugh, I am SO sorry for the long wait. I had to prepare for exams and all, so time flew by. But I'm here now, so I hope it's okay you waited for so long :)

First of all, it was an excellent chapter - it was very nice and slow, and I liked how you portrayed each character. Wren, of course being the main character, seemed very well-build. Not physically, but you know what I mean.
I like that Rose, Albus and James come and help with the boxes, and that Wren seemed kind of in her own world. It did take a long time while reading this to adjust to the fact that Wren is a girl. I'm not english, and where I come from Wren is not a name we use - like ever. And the only time I've heard of it was in a tv-show where the character who had it, was a male. Hehe :)
The flow of the chapter was very easy, and I liked how you build it up. And the beginning was so interesting, where she wondered what that light in the woods were. It makes me think that the whole story is going to be build around that, and that she'll eventually find out what it is. And since it's light, I don't think it's something dark. But your story is under the category 'Dark', so there's probably something else to it :)

I enjoyed reading your story, and I hope this review answered some of your questions :)
Feel free to re-request.

- Lostmyheart

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Review #3, by MargaretLane Whispering Hearts

13th June 2014:
Yi-i-ikes, this looks like one long chapter.

Apologies for not having made any mention of the judging of my challenge yet. I've been super-busy lately and haven't even read all the entries. But I haven't forgotten about it and the results WILL be posted, probably in just under two weeks. If they aren't up in two weeks, there'll be another wait, because things get crazy busy again then.

This might be just because I'm not English, but the word "chav" doesn't really sound to me like something a pureblood would use. You know, it seems rather culture-specific slang. I don't know. I just feel the wizarding world has its own insults.

I sort of think Wren has a point with her idea of self-governing non-wizard societies. Although since wizards, vampires, house-elves, goblins, etc, all share the same society more or less, it strikes me that simply giving them all representation in the Ministry might be the best idea. But wizards haven't really shown themselves too adept at sharing power. Obviously, being from a country that was colonised, I'm going to find myself in agreement with criticisms of the imposition of rules from another culture that may not fit those they are imposed on.

And *rolls eyes at the idea "this would never work because wizards and witches don't think it would"* Isn't one of the defining features of the wizarding world their lack of understanding and disinterest in learning about, other cultures.

You use the characters' names rather a lot. There are a couple of times where writing "he" or "she" would sound more natural, especially since Albus and Wren's conversation involves only one boy and one girl, so there'd be no confusion.

I'm not really sure why Albus thinks it's weird Dillon told Wren his name. Or does he just think Dillon was weird? It's a bit unclear.

Oooh, this is getting creepy. I'm not sure exactly what it is Dillon wants, but it certainly doesn't sound good.

And this is kind of getting more like the rabbit in Fangirl. *laughs*

Hmm, I really wonder if this stuff about how when Bunny is with her, she doesn't feel helps explain how the rabbits are affecting her more than Albus. She clearly wants that oblivion to some degree and I wonder if, in some way, they can feed off that.

Although I can't exactly ignore the fact that the people most affected seem to be female either. Although, now seeing Ian, maybe that's not true. Hmm.

I wonder if this Ian guy is naturally nasty or if it's the rabbits or Dillon controlling him. Hmm, this gets more and more mysterious.

Author's Response:

Hello!!

You've got quite a few stories to read for the challenge. I hope you don't get slammed with *stuff to do* too quickly, so you'll have the time to go through them all! But hey, at least you're pretty much caught up with my story. :)

There's this *thing* with Scorpius and his constant use of non-wizarding colloquialisms. We'll get to that a bit later. LOL!

Wren does have a point. I agree with you on the idea that wizards haven't learned how to share the world. They may be perceived to be at the top of the food chain, but that doesn't mean they should disregard what other races have established. You'll have to sit down with Albus on that one and explain it to him.

I noticed the character name thing this morning. I plan to look into that after I've gotten a little distance from this chapter. It is rather long, and I felt my eyes glazing over several times during the editing process. That said, I couldn't find a place to cut or shorten it either. Sigh.

Haha! I think Albus is just talking to talk at this point, but the main idea is that he's commenting on the general weirdness of things.

Ah, yes. The Fangirl rabbit. Imagine my reaction when I read that book. Then again, if I could do a search for "rabbits, horror stories", I wonder what's out there?

Ian's naturally a jerk. The rabbits and Dillon are just icing on the cake. LOL!

Thanks for the lovely review! I'm so happy you're coming back to the story!



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Review #4, by CambAngst Whispering Hearts

13th June 2014:
Hi, pix! Back again to see how the Next Gen kids and devil bunnies are playing together. Not so well, it seems.

It starts off on a fun note. "You can burn those," Rose said, motioning her foot to the image of her tripping over herself and shoving people out of the way. "I scuffed up my new trainers for nothing." Poor Rose! She isn't doing a very good job of convincing anyone -- even herself -- that she isn't interested in Scorpius, is she? Wren stared at the last picture in her hand, where Albus' eyes shone brightly back at her. She smiled to herself, remembering those eyes from a particularly vivid dream a few nights ago. And Rose isn't the only one who's having some unrequited (or maybe just unacknowledged) boy issues. You're still doing an awesome job of keeping these kids age-appropriate!

Poor Wren is starting to have more and more issues with Dillon's mental tendrils, it seems. At least she seems to be finding ways to fight off his control. The tea was a good start, but getting him out of her head seems to be becoming more willful and less of a passive thing. Good on you, Wren!

I have the strangest feeling that Rose and Callie's adventure outside of the castle is going to end poorly. Caught? Enthralled? Providing Dillon with the means to sneak into the castle? I just don't see any good coming of this outing. Given what Albus already thinks of James, if Dillon manages to enthrall James it's going to take Wren and Albus that much longer to figure out what's really happening. Sigh.

Now this is interesting. Is Bunny somehow shifting allegiances here? Perhaps becoming more Wren's friend than Dillon's friend? That would seem to be a significant development. She and Albus definitely need allies in their as-yet-unrealized war against the demon bunnies and their creepy little boy overlord.

Wow! So even though the demon bunnies are messing with Wren's magic, it doesn't seem like the effect is entirely one-sided. You are working so many neat plot threads into this story! I love it!

For one, small moment, Wren allowed herself to believe that the butterflies in her stomach were a good thing. -- Yes, they are! Wren needs more small moments like this.

It didn't actually matter how long or short her hair was, but this way, it made her look more... she blew her hair out of her face again... yeah, like that. -- Ha! You are pulling out all the stops in this chapter with the subtle signs of infatuation. Also, I really have to stop with the pull quotes or I'm going to run out of characters before I get to the end of this chapter.

Albus is dissing the trampy girl in favor of Wren! Good on you, Albus!

I liked the little side track into the politics of vampires in magical society. I feel fairly confident that you're setting something up for later on, although I can only guess at what. Maybe Wren does become Dillon's friend again at some point. Maybe Albus, with his less "enlightened" view on vampires, won't be pleased by this. Speculation...

I loved the "moment" that Wren and Albus have in the middle of the chapter. His hand on her arm, her inner battle over whether to tell him all about Bunny... poignant stuff!

Get out of my head, Wren demanded silently, and pushed back, hard. Her mind jolted free, and she had to blink a few times to reorient herself to where she was. -- Ooh, rudimentary Occlumency? Achievement unlocked...

"Oh Godric, you're going to cry. Okay, okay," Albus said softly, almost sounding like he was saying it more for himself than her. He took her hands in his and waited. -- Ha! The perfect teenage boy reaction! I mean, it would have showed a little more game if he'd managed to not say it out loud, but still.

Then the pace of the chapter picks up dramatically. It seems like Albus's rabbit has grown into some sort of monster in the restricted section. Maybe eating dark magic books isn't so good for a rabbit? The thing was definitely scary. And poor Wren has a 3-party call going on inside of her head. This section reinforced the idea that Wren's Bunny might not be completely in the same camp with Dillon and Albus's monster rabbit. I'm so incredibly impressed with the way you've set up Albus from the very beginning of this story. His paranoia about being pranked by James led him to take so many precautions that he feels perfectly natural being immune from the effects of the vampire thralls.

Wrapping up with Ian Sloan, I'm glad that you already conditioned us not to like him. Here, he's part vampire-enthralled zombie and part obnoxious jerk. Can't say I'm wild about either one. I just hope Albus and Wren get to Neville before he does, but knowing you, I doubt that's gonna happen. :p

Awesome chapter! It was a pleasure to beta read and a pleasure to read for real!

Author's Response: Ah! Just when I thought I was catching up... but I'm not complaining. This is amazing. All those shiny words!

I think we'd have to be very worried if the devil bunnies start playing nice with the Next Gen kids. Though now that you bring it up, I could do a dark version, where the Next Gen kids are completely overwhelmed by devil bunnies and become their...

Maybe another time.

Rose is definitely not doing great in the denial department right now. Just for you, (actually, mostly for me) there's more on that coming up soon. As for Wren, she's made a bit of progress, but her situation is a bit more complicated than simply admitting to a crush. Oh, the interfering plot!

Speaking of plot, Wren is making some headway with regaining control inside her mind. So there's that. I just hope that I've presented it in a way that I won't confuse anyone. I suppose time will tell.

There is some significant development with Bunny here. I hadn't shown much of what Bunny thinks through all of this, and I wasn't going so far as to write a scene from Bunny's POV (though I had a few of those that got trashed from the first draft. They were too weird and even I couldn't follow what was going on... silly rabbits!) but I felt like I needed to at least show that the affection between Wren and Bunny wasn't... erm... all in her head?

If Wren could get a mental break, I'm sure she would be having all kinds of thoughts that she needs right now. We'll see how that goes for her moving forward. Wren's new discovery about her abilities should help.

Albus' bracelets come in handy with trampy whats-her-name, don't they? I resisted inserting more of the sidebar about the girls following Albus around in this story. It's there, but it's so out of his focus at the moment that he's just ignoring it until he can't. I laughed out loud about Albus' lack of "game". Still laughing, actually. If he had any, he might have asked her out a year ago, and it wouldn't even be an issue now. I suppose everybody's got a learning curve. That moment was a nice interlude, so I'm glad you liked that.

You've got some interesting speculations about the vampire/wizard situation and how it impacts the story. Let's pretend that I planned all of that out and it will be fabulous. :) Seriously, I do have subtle plans, but Smeed threw a wrench in one of my subplots that I'm trying to pry apart. Again. He and I need a serious sit-down regarding the outcome. I swear I had the entire plot finished a few months ago. That's what I get for over-developing my characters. Bleah!

LOL! Three-party call, indeed! You may be impressed with the way I set up Albus, but let me tell you that he is highly displeased with his situation. I'm glad it feels natural. I didn't want him to come off as some great evil rabbit know-it-all all of a sudden.

Obnoxious jerks make the best zombies, I think. Maybe that could be a literary rule or trope of some kind: make all the zombies obnoxious.

Thanks again for the use of your eyes and this fabulous review!

Wait, wait. Does that mean you only "fake" read it before??


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Review #5, by coolsilver Whispering Hearts

11th June 2014:
FINALLY!!!
So glad you have a new chapter up-I stayed up just to read it, and you delivered!

I'm glad Wren is finally starting to wise up about Bunny and everything else that's been going on, although the poor girl is still having a tough time dealing with the events of the summer and her family's decisions to pull the plug on her grandparents.

It seems realistic in one aspect for her to still be wrestling with this-it's death after all, and how often has she dealt with it in her family? However, in another view-shouldn't she be trying to understand why her family did it, instead of continuing to be angry with her mother? She seems to be a logical - if not rather dim at times - girl who should be able to accept and move past this sooner than it has taken her thus far.

Hopefully, they'll take this directly to Professor Longbottom immediately (I'd say forget curfew, this is important - stereotypical rebellious HP style) and I have to wonder just how much more Wren is going to be put through. Poor girl is already dealing with enough!

I'm looking forward to seeing our mysterious bartender again soon-I wonder what happened to his poor victim...

Please keep writing-I love how you portray Wren, and flesh out your characters. You drop clever little hints, foreshadowing the horrors to come, leaving us hanging on to your every written word and eagerly awaiting the next update! Love it!

Author's Response: YES!! FINALLY!!

Wow! You stayed up for my chapter?? That's awesome. I'm glad you weren't disappointed, because if you're going to lose sleep, it should be for something worthwhile, right?

Wren is still having a tough time reconciling all the things that have happened to her and her family. She will eventually get to the point where she accepts and understands, but in story time, she's only known about the truth for about a week. She's still processing. And when you've got a rabbit in your head, it might take a little longer. :P

I agree. Wren and Albus should go directly to Professor Longbottom and get this sorted out.

I miss Smeed as well. He needs to come back into the story, just so he can learn how to use EBay and get rich. Then he can lure more victims to his plush London flat... ah, I'm getting ahead of myself here. Smeed might need his own spin-off after this.

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments! I'm very pleased that you are enjoying my crazy story with blood-sucking rabbits and silly teenagers! The next chapter shouldn't have too much of a delay. I think I've worked out the major kinks and can feel things moving forward again.

So very happy!!

Pix


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Review #6, by GingeredTea Hearts and Spades

19th May 2014:
You have a way of making completely innocent things sound so very creepy. These bunnies are creeping me out.

I loved how you managed the interaction with Albus - I just felt that flowed fabulously! Scorpius and Albus are hilarious together. You did a good job expressing Albus' distraction about Wren. The photograph was an interesting tidbit that has me curious.

Mostly, I'm wondering if this rabbit (or the boy behind it rather) is intentionally keeping Wren from loving someone else. Furthermore, I'm assuming Albus' rabbit is in such a bad state (and Albus is in such a good state), because he disabled the boys charms on the rabbit?

:) It feels good to be back!

Author's Response: Welcome back!!

Innocent things sounding creepy... I like that description! Maybe it can be my trademark or something one day. :P

I believe that Albus and Scorpius together in this fic are my favorite characters. They're so easy around each other, and extremely fun to write. Albus is indeed distracted by Wren, the poor guy.

That is a good question about the rabbit and its connection with Wren's ability to feel. I had a version of this story in my head at one time that made that the main conflict, but it ended up being too difficult to pull off.

Anyway, I'm glad you're still reading and you've come back for another chapter!

Thanks for the lovely review!

Pix


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Review #7, by GingeredTea Heart To Handle

12th May 2014:
OH MY GOODNESS. I loved this chapter. I actually read it a big ago, when I was supposed to be writing an essay. I told myself "read it, work a bit, then review", but of course the review got lost in the onslaught of more homework.

Anyways, what is up with Wren? Is Dillon borrowing her magic? He's cute and creepy...

I wish Wren felt better.

This chapter has really gotten me interested! What will happen. What is Dillon doing? I loved the line:

"Could you bring some food for me?" he asked the woman.

The woman acted like she hadn't heard him, still cooing at the little rabbit in her arms.
Oh, that's right. It didn't work quite like that. "

BUT, on that note, it should be: "Could you bring some food for me?" [H]e asked the woman.

The question mark ends a sentence, so you start with a capital afterwards. I bet you know. I do and still do it all.the.time. ;)

Lovely chapter. I know I owe you one more review. I will try to slip it in this week, but my classes end on the 16th, so I may end up doing it after that. :)

Author's Response: Hey, you're back!

No, you really should do your essays before you read chapters... unless you're taking a well-deserved break... in which case, read on! :)

I feel for Wren too. She really should start feeling better soon. It's been so long. On the other hand, if she DID start feeling better, I'd have to come up with something else to move the story forward. Hmmm...

Thanks for the lovely review! I'm so glad you're still coming back to my story! Good luck with classes!



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Review #8, by TidalDragon Guarded Hearts

6th May 2014:
Hello again! Dropping by from the review thread in the CR!

So I had to get re-adjusted to the story a bit after so much time away, but this chapter was a nice interlude that built on your strength with characterizations to do a little more delving into Wren's relationships with other characters at Hogwarts. I think this is important and hopefully now that she's getting serious about drinking Smeed's tea, we'll get a bit more into her life, relationships, and magic. I'd like to see her primed and ready to kick some tail when the Lord of the Rabbits arrives.

Things that saddened me:

Wren continuing to think she blew it with Albus/Wren and Albus's continued awkwardness this year - when will these crazy kids finally snog?

Things I enjoyed:

It's nice to see Rose finally expressing some concern for Wren! I'm also liking the mischief that Albus, Scorpius and Wren seem to have on their minds toward James. Is a colossal bit of humble pie in his future?

Things I relished:

Wren blasting Ian in the face with the flash!

Keep on keeping on with this bad boy...I may be lured back yet (despite the vampire bunnies and epically creepy little kid)!

Author's Response: Oh, hey!

Yes, Wren should get serious about the tea. It definitely helps with things, if she's not so brain fogged all the time.

"Lord of Rabbits"... wish I'd thought of that! It's so fitting. I can see Dillon sitting around with a crown of clover flowers on his head.

I have no idea when Wren and Albus will get it together.

Mischief indeed! I liked that too, and it lightens the mood when things get too bizarre.

Flashes are good for many things. *nods* Go Wren!!

Thanks for coming back to the story, in spite of vampire bunnies and epically creepy little kids. Hahaha! Those are the two main things in the story, too!

As always, thanks for the lovely review!


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Review #9, by Karou_Marauder Distant Hearts

23rd April 2014:
DIE BUNNY DIE.

Sorry, but Bunny is scary. You probably got that from my last review, so I'll stay away from that...

I love Albus and Wren. They're so cute together, and I love how they like each other but neither of them want to say anything for fear of ruining their friendship.

Hehe, Roderick the Thestral.

NO! James Sirius Potter, do NOT give your brother that rabbit. DO NOT. I am warning you...

I'm starting to think that Dillon is definitely not a Muggle, and either a wizard or some kind of rabbit demon. You never know.

Cookies! xD

-Karou

Author's Response: Haha!

That was my favorite review opening yet! Albus and Wren have a special bond alright. And I couldn't resist Roderick the Thestral!

I think James was born to cause trouble. That's why he's going to do all kinds of stuff to make us yell at him. LOL!

I like your thoughts on Dillon. Rabbit demon... hmm... wish I'd thought of that!

Yes, lots of cookies for you!! See you around!

Pix


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Review #10, by Karou_Marauder Cold Toes, Warm Heart

23rd April 2014:
I really hate that rabbit. I mean, it took away six whole weeks of her life, and it made her forget her birthday. How rude.

Seriously though, it's creepy. How did it get out of the hutch?

I'm guessing the weird visions have something to do with that rabbit. And Albus's glowing, and those weird feelings, and her forgetting the film...

Gah. This bunny is taking over her whole life in a weird and creepy way.

Aaaaside from the bunny, I think Nellie is awesome. She's very realistic, especially with the teasing about Albus, and she's very motherly to Wren. She sounds like a cool character and I hope she's in it more.

Haha, James.

Wren and Albus are so sweet together. It's sad how Bunny has taken over her life so much that she can't even enjoy hugging Albus. (I should probably stop going on about Bunny, but it's giving me the creeps.)

Sorry for the rant. See ya in later chapters!

-Karou

Author's Response: Hi!

Sorry for the long delay in responding, but I had to deal with "stuff" for a while. I'm back now.

It is pretty rude to just do all that to Wren and not even apologize! Bad rabbit!

Nellie IS awesome! Unfortunately, she's not around for most of the story, which is why I had to condense her awesomeness into just a few chapters. Hehe. She might peek in a bit every now and then to check on Wren, but that's all I have planned for her at this point.

Don't worry about going on about Bunny. It's sort of the point of the story. :)

Thanks for the engaging review!

Pix


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Review #11, by CambAngst Heart Tracks

21st April 2014:
Hi, pix! For what it's worth, I think you're making the right decision by curtailing your posting schedule. It's better to slow down a little and keep the quality high instead of rushing.

Finally, a peek inside James's head! I don't mean to imply that you should have done it earlier, by the way. I think this was a perfect point in the story to finally draw back the curtain. We've seen everything about James through Albus's point of view so far and like a lot of what Albus thinks, his understanding of his older brother has a few flaws. That's completely natural for male siblings; each always thinks that the other is out to get him. It does seem like James views pranking Albus as a challenge, but it's not the all-consuming obsession that you'd think it was if you were only listening to Albus. James has bigger things on his mind, like getting his schoolwork done as quickly as possible to leave more time for pranks and other shenanigans. That's a good Seventh Year lad!

George Weasley, genius. Seriously, there seems to be little beyond that man's ingenuity. I loved the potion/quill combination.

Yeah, after all that, the rest was easy. -- I see a lot of Fred and George in James. The lengths he will go to in order to pull off the perfect prank.

Albus! -- Ha! I did NOT see that coming. You concealed it beautifully until the last possible moment. Bravo!

Things are getting more clear where Dillon is concerned. I'm not 100% convinced that he's a vampire, but his rabbits clearly are. He has telepathic control over them and in turn they allow him to control other people. He's mastered some pretty advanced wizarding skills, like apparition. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that the rabbits have mastered apparition and Dillon is just along for the ride. He also has an oddly childlike perspective on events. He thinks of the thralls his rabbits create as friends, even though he's plainly controlling them.

I loved the irony of having Bob, Harold and Maude cooking rabbits when Dillon arrives. It gave him a perfect opportunity to be creepy and impassive, with just a hint of judgment. You wrote that so well!

I think I saw a tiny typo in this chapter:

Then the boy took out a ratty journal and open it to the back. -- opened it to the back.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Okay, so after taking six weeks to get the next chapter up, and probably just as long letting this kind and inspiring review gather dust, I have brushed off everything that got dropped and I'm getting back to it again.

I thought it was time to shed some light onto James Potter's intentions. Just to be clear, he has his own agenda that seems to be contrary to what Albus thinks of him. However, that doesn't mean that his little brother won't get caught in the crossfire. James really hasn't made Albus' feelings a priority, though many people might think he should. I think James would take great pride in having an uncle like George. He's probably rubbed off on his nephew more than he knows.

Surprise! Haha! I figured that James would eventually figure out what was going on, but not before Lori made her move. The things people can be talked into...

Yes, yes, all that about Dillon is fairly accurate.

You know that point when you read a scene over and think, "Gosh, that's dull. What if things were more interesting?" Or maybe you don't, and you have great scenes from the start. I tend to work through scenes in layers, so when Bob and Harold were sitting around, I asked myself, "What would be the most conflicting thing I could have them doing when Dillon walks in?"

I am quite pleased with the results. I thought for a moment about Dillon taking more offense to things, but then when I think about what he eats, it didn't make much sense for him to get angry. Anyway, glad you liked it.

Ah, pesky typo!

Thanks for the great review!


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Review #12, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne Losing Heart

20th April 2014:
Oh my goodness! Vampire rabbits serving their evil overlord. This is the best plot twist ever. I'm so scared for Wren and her dangerous affection for the insidious Bunny. I'd love to see more of Albus and james' prank war though, to lighten things up.

Every chapter gets me more and more anxious about poor Wren, who really has been through quite enough at this point :(

I hope her life starts to pick up soon. In the meantime, at least I have your awesome writing and worship-worthy plotting skills to look forward too. Thanks for the awesome story!

Author's Response:

Awww, you flatter me!!

I love plots. And twists. When the plots and twists come together, I love them even more. Don't worry. This story is riddled with the James/Albus prank war. There's more of that coming up every few chapters. I hope you enjoy that subplot as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

Yes, Wren gets very anxious, and things are not easy for her. She really has been through enough, but I'm not done with her yet.

What an awesome review! Thank you so much for coming by and peeking in at my crazy story!

-Pix


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Review #13, by adluvshp Big as Hearts

20th April 2014:
Hello there =) I am here for the TGS review exchange!

I loved this chapter. It had a lot going on and the wheels in my mind were constantly turning xD Wren's rabbit is making me more and more anxious as I read on. I wonder why he was glowing and how and where he disappeared! And what's more, Scorpius has the other rabbit now which Al was supposed to have - ah things are getting rabbity! xP

I also liked the ending segment of Hannah's POV. It was interesting that Gran was actually responding. The Smeed guy seems somewhat suspicious to me. His presence must have some relevancy and it feels like it may not be in a good way. I am very intrigued to know what happens next!

All in all, I think this was another great chapter. Great descriptions, engaging dialogue, interesting plot, and smooth flow as always. I enjoyed reading it and I hope to come back for more soon =)

Good going!
--AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response:
Hey!!

I'm glad we got paired up this month! I should be over to your story shortly to see what you've been up to since the last time I peeked in on it!

Yes, absolutely things are getting rabbity! LOL! I'm glad you enjoyed Hannah's POV. I wanted to give her a place in the story, along with all the other characters. Smeed is relevant, but I can't say much more than that.

So glad you had a good time with this chapter! Thanks for the lovely review!!

-Pix


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Review #14, by MargaretLane Heart Tracks

19th April 2014:
*cheers for the quills writing the essays themselves* I agree, it's not cheating if all they are doing is the physical writing.

*laughs at the map being stolen from James* Effective.

Hmm, I'm really getting the impression the rabbits effect men and women differently.

Happy Easter.

Author's Response:

James is getting a little payback dealt his way. Glad you appreciated that!

Happy Easter to you too!


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Review #15, by Infinityx Cross My Heart

16th April 2014:
Hi again, Pix!

Hmm, Nate. I don't know what to make of him. He seems like just a normal character, albeit an observant one. But every other character in this story seems to have some kind of ulterior purpose so far, so I'm a little suspicious of this nice guy. Ugh, Pix, you're making me suspicious of everyone!

Albus. Why do boys have to be so dumb when it comes to their feelings? And Scorpius too. They make me feel like shaking them till their teeth rattle, and they get a bit of sense knocked into their head!

When Gran was mentioned again, it reminded me of her wish to move away from the bungalow. Now I'm puzzling over that again. I hope Gran is on the road to recovery now. She did seem like it a few chapters ago. Maybe give the readers a small peek into that side of the story?

What is happening to Wren? She's just accepting all the crazy stuff that's happening like it's nothing! She doesn't react to the bunny teleporting out of its cage and near her feet, she's making plans to lure the big rabbit out keeping its powers in mind...*shudder* I hope she doesn't end up losing her mind. (although that would be a great twist :D)

OH MY GOSH IT'S THE SAME BUNNY. I suspected it, but now it's confirmed! This is one hell of a monstrous plot, Pix.

Did I tell you that I love the words you use? There are so many wonderful adjectives in here, and they all seem deliberately used, but at the same time, they just fit so naturally. Your writing is just lovely.

Update soon, before I go crazy!

~Erin

'Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza'

Author's Response:

Hi again, Erin!

Nate's pretty normal, I guess. For now. :P It's okay. You can be suspicious. Wren should be that suspicious too. It might help.

Albus is trying, but Scorpius is just dumb.

Gran's going to come up again later in the story. I couldn't just leave her in the state she was in without some development. But it might be a little while before we get to her. There are all these stupid teens that need dealing with first. And the bunnies.

Yes! You got it! Nate owes you a soda for being on top of things in the story. Go ahead, Nate. Give it to her.

Aww, you love my words! I love your reviews! You are so incredibly sweet!!

I plan to update weekly, unless I get stuck in revision... like chapter 16... which is actually chapter 17 now, since I had to break up one of the earlier chapters... so confusing... but the next chapter (which was 15, but I guess it's now 16) is mostly ready, so you can expect it soon-ish.

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! And don't let the bunnies near you!


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Review #16, by Infinityx Guarded Hearts

16th April 2014:
Wow. So Wren gets thralled by the bunny, and then drinks the tea given to her by Smeed in order to feel better. That's messed up! :o

Yay! A chapter without evil bunnies! I love how this part of the plot is moving forward. You're not just focusing on the weirder occurrences, but also the normal life of the characters, which is great!

I'm so glad Wren's keeping the wristband on! Maybe it'll protect her from the bunny's influence. I really hope it does. I like the unthralled Wren.

Hahaha, girl gossip time! Rose is such an interesting character as well! I hate Ian, such a sleazy git. But that bit about him putting in some effort for Rose made me look at him in a different light. Then bam! He becomes a git again.

Aww, Wren and Albus. I love them. They have the best relationship ever. I have a guy best friend, and it's the best thing in the world when there's no awkwardness. :D Poor Wren, thinking that Albus doesn't like her that way. *sigh* Oh the joys of reading about seemingly unrequited love! :D

Hmm, I wonder if Ian's been affected by the drink in some way. He did drink a lot of it, and unlike Mr. Summers, he doesn't have access to a rabbit to thrall him and make him feel better. I wonder what was in that drink...

He totally deserves that camera flash.

~ Erin

'Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza'

Author's Response:

Yay for crazy tea that keeps Wren sane! Well, I had to get rid of those headaches somehow.

I'm trying to give these characters some kind of normalcy, even if it's also messed up. But I guess with teenagers, everything's messed up anyway. It's tough being a teen.

Yeah, Ian. *shakes head*

Yes, it is the best thing in the world when there's no awkwardness. But the awkwardness happens and you deal with it. Or you pretend not to, in this case. Wren's going to get a clue soon, I suppose. Either that, or people are going to have to hit her over the head with something blunt.

That drink...

... is bad.

Thanks for another great review! I feel so spoiled with the Eggstravaganza going on! You don't even know!


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Review #17, by Infinityx Hungry for Hearts

16th April 2014:
Ohmygosh!! VAMPIRE RABBITS! THIS PLOT JUST KEEPS GETTING CRAZIER.

I knew that that guy - Smeed - had something to do with Dillon when he entered the inn! Who just shows up like that, breaks up a fight, and asks to be hired? And they don't know anything about him!! Wow, vampires. I never thought of that possibility. Although, I did have a feeling that Dillon wasn't just a normal boy. *mind whirs like clockwork* Okay, I still got nothing. I have no clue where this is going, and that's brilliant!

I love the iPad reference!! Bringing in some Muggle technology into a magically powered world, brilliant!

"Spiced rum, or brandy?"
How do you write like this, how?! You are so awesome! And you update so quickly, with each chapter so amazing! How? :o

STAY AWAY FROM WREN YOU EVIL RABBIT. I do hope she's alright. :(

I hope there are some more clues in the next chapter. Wow, vampires...

~Erin

Huffleclaw - Ravenpuff extravaganza

Author's Response:

VAMPIRE RABBITS!! Yes, I agree that deserves all caps. LOL!

Yeah, what's up with that guy, Smeed?? And who's Dillon??? Okay, I should know the answers to these questions, and lucky for you, I'm on chapter 31, so I guess you'll have to wait and see... though there's a scene in chapter 16 that's giving me fits in revision. Sigh.

Anyway. iPad references were so fun! And vampires going out for a drink. I seriously could not resist that. I don't know where it came from. I was like, "Okay, two vampires go out for a drink. Where do they go? What do they do?" and BAM. There it was.

I did have a lot of this pre-written, so I'm actually not fast, I'm just well-stocked. Hahaha! I didn't post anything for a whole year is how I did that. I just kept my head down and wrote my story. And then I revised it. And now I'm posting. So... there it is.

There should be little clues in every chapter from now on. It's gone on far too long not to do that. Let me know if it gets confusing anywhere.

Thanks for another great review!!


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Review #18, by Infinityx Heartburn

16th April 2014:
Hello Pix! I'm here for your requested review. I'm not sure, but I think I stopped at the last chapter, so I'm going to start here and go on till the last updated one. :D

Ugh, just the mental picture of that fat rabbit has got me sick to the stomach. It's so creepy! I can't make sense of this plot. What is with those rabbits? :o

Okay, so Dillon is able to control them somehow by getting into their minds. He does so because of the mission that his mother made him go on? Wren has a rabbit that can get into her mind, and Dillon has a connection with that rabbit. Wren can somehow sense what the rabbit is feeling, and the connection between her and the bunny is what makes her feel better. And above all that, this is affecting her powers somehow. Then there's that rabbit that found Pince, and Pince put something in the drinks to affect all the students. Now Nigel is under the rabbits' spell as well and there's some sort of mission that they have. Okay, I got nothing. Seriously, this is one of the best plots I've ever read and I am clueless about where it's headed.

(If you want CC, I'm probably not the person to ask because I am so drawn into this story that all I can do is gush over it.)

Aww, Albus and Wren are the cutest! One thing that I absolutely LOVE about this story apart from the crazy plot and all that, is how smoothly it flows. The whole relationship between Wren and Al is so realistic! It's not something that just jumps from friendship one day, to something more the next. It progresses, they have awkward situations and doubts, they get back to being wonderful friends..everything is so perfectly in place! Wonderfully written, Pix, I'm jealous! :D

Hahaha, Wren just threw up in her crush's room. I don't know why I find that funny. I guess I just like how nothing happens very easily, and it's so obvious that their feelings are going to be suppressed for a while longer (which is a good thing.) I'd love to see more of the friendship side before it progresses. :)

He lay frozen against the desk when it opened its maw, spittle splayed across the oversized incisors.
Oh gosh, that is such a vivid picture!! I am so grossed out. :/ Brilliant description!
I think oversized should be written as over-sized though.

This was amazing! I'm on to the next chapter now!

Author's Response:

Hey!

Doesn't matter which chapter you start on. I'm happy that you came back!

That fat rabbit is disgusting. And creepy. The plot isn't senseless, but it has many layers. Like an onion, except hopefully, it won't make you cry. It's not meant to be a tear jerker or anything.

Yes. Yes. Dillon. Yes. That too. You're on to something there. I'm glad that came through clearly. With this crazy story mechanics, it was hard to make it work, but I did my best. I'm glad you got all of that. I don't know about the "best" plot, but it's "a" plot, and I love plotting. :) Glad you like it!

*smiles* I'm glad you're not frustrated with Wren and Albus, or at least I hope you're not frustrated with them. They have a bit to go before things become clear for them to more forward. But that doesn't mean they can't strengthen their friendship in the meantime. You'll get to see more of that, I promise!

Gross, fat rabbit!! Woot! Hehehe. I might use the dash, or I might leave it. Who knows? Thanks for pointing it out!

And thanks for the great review! I always love when you stop by!



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Review #19, by MargaretLane Cross My Heart

15th April 2014:
Hmm, Mr. Summers still isn't looking well. I wonder what that means.

And Sloan isn't feeling well either. I wonder if that's just an offhand comment or if it's relevant. I'm getting suspicious of everything now, from anybody ill to new students joining the school (even if they did so a year previously). I just can't help feeling pretty much everything you say here could be relevant.

And now I'm wondering what Nate means by "you people." Wren and her friends, Hogwarts students in general, people that aren't him?

Oh, oh, it looks like the tea isn't working so well anymore. I wonder why that is.

I wonder does her glance at the lake behind her old home mean Dillon is there.

Author's Response:

Yes. Be suspicious of everything. If Wren was like that, she'd be better off. Maybe not everything is relevant, but I don't like throwing around little details "just because". Though I will admit that some of it is for "flavor", rather than "necessity".

I still can't believe you've made it this far! This is amazing! I try to post weekly, so if I've gotten you curious enough, I hope you'll keep reading.

Thanks so much for all the reviews and sharing your thoughts with me!


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Review #20, by MargaretLane Guarded Hearts

14th April 2014:
Looking back, Smeed said "be careful around your new friend", not "friends", so maybe he doesn't know about the rabbit; maybe he's assuming she's befriended a vampire, which she sort of has, without knowing it.

I'm glad you entered this story in my challenge. It's not something I'd ever have chosen to read; I'm not a big horror person. And I probably wouldn't have read on if I'd just read a chapter or two, because the start was sort of confusing, but it just gets more interesting as it goes on.

*cheers for her drinking the tea* Keep doing so, Wren and ignore Dillon. But I guess if she did that, we wouldn't have another 15 chapters or whatever it is.

With the mention of the thrall thing, I am beginning to think all the more than the stresses in her life might be a contributory factor. Perhaps you need to be in a vulnerable state in order for the vampire to overpower you emotionally. Not that I'd think of Madame Pince as in a vulnerable state, but she doesn't exactly strike me as a happy person, so perhaps that's relevant.

And their assumption that James did something amuses me, because in my next gen, that's pretty much my characters' first reaction too when things go wrong. "JAMES, WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Rose being impressed that the guy who complimented her had read the source material is so Hermione-like. It's like she's attracted to people who take their studies seriously.

I've also started wondering if there might be a specific reason Nate started school when he did. It does seem like sort of a weird time - the final year of his O.W.L. course. I mean of course, he might just have to be in school to take the exam or more likely, you might just have needed him to start then for plot reasons (*laughs*), but it's occurred to me there might also be a specific reason he could no longer be homeschooled. Like maybe his parents died or he'd some other family problem. I don't see how that could be relevant to your story, but you never know. I suppose it's more likely his being new is relevant because of something he learnt in his rather unorthodox previous education or something.

Author's Response:

Nah, Smeed's not completely aware of what's going on with Wren. I'm glad you're finding the story interesting! Otherwise, I wouldn't be getting all these sweet reviews! Thanks so much! The story's kind of on the edge of horror, I suppose. There wasn't a genre for "sort of scary". Hahah!

Yes, the tea is helping Wren. At least it's giving her a clear enough head to be more aware of things. Sorry about all the confusion... okay, maybe I'm not sorry. I just like complicated story mechanics. Silly me!

That's pretty funny about James II! He's probably not blameless in your story either.

I almost had Nate start his first year this year, but I needed him to be more comfortable with Hogwarts than that. Otherwise there would be some things later that wouldn't work out as well. So yeah, he's important.

I am so grateful that you have stuck with all these chapters!


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Review #21, by MargaretLane Hungry for Hearts

14th April 2014:
Smeed has no magic of his own? I wonder if he's a Squib. Or a vampire. The latter is possible too. Perhaps vampires police their own.

I wonder if it's Dillon he's tracking. I guess so, but it may not be that simple.

I'm now starting to think Smeed MAY be a vampire. That'd be interesting.

And now he's ruled out my original theory of his being a Squib.

LOVE the use of the i-pad.

And he is starting to explain how much he knew about Wren. But he doesn't seem to know there are rabbits involved, so what did he mean by her friends. *ponders*

You've written "we split a does of pepperup," when I assume it should be "dose".

Author's Response:

Nope. Smeed is magic-less. But his friend knows how to use current technology. Glad you liked that bit!

Wren's symptoms didn't make much sense to Smeed. He's never seen anything like it. Hopefully people will start getting clues soon, right?

Thanks for the typo catch! Those pesky things!


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Review #22, by Karou_Marauder Have a Heart

14th April 2014:
Hiya!

This is a nice start, right into the mystery of the light. You do a good job of describing Wren's feelings about everything without leaving out the descriptions of what's going on around her, so we really get a feel for what's happening.

I like the little argument between Albus and Rose outside the door, as immediately get a feeling for what kind of person Rose is.

That's sad, about her Gran. Augusta Longbottom was always such a...hmm...a trooper, shall we say, and now she's ill. Neville must be so upset, on top of his parents' death too.

The way you drop little things about each character is really well done: "they all loved Neville as a person but no one really shared his passion for plants" tells us exactly what Neville is like, along with "his help always seemed to come with an equal amount of embarrassment."

The banter between the cousins is just right - not too much but just enough for us to see they have an easy relationship. The bit where James goes: "Ooh, sandwiches!" is great. :)

Wren loves her animals, doesn't she? And the bunny is so cute. I just can't shake the feeling, though, that somehow the bunny is going to end up inside her somehow? Well, something bad is going to happen anyway.

There it is! The mysterious flash of light from that morning. And the bunny is gone. Spooky...

I think I will HAVE to read the rest of this!

-Karou

Author's Response:

Hi there!

Yay, I'm glad you liked the mystery of the light. Sometimes I think I put a little too much mystery into this story, but I just went with it. It was fun, but sometimes even I confused myself.

Wren does love her animals. And yes, you're right. Bad things will happen. I guess that's why I chose "dark" as a genre. And yes, more mystery!!

Thanks so much for reading my story. I do hope you come back for more someday soon!

Pix


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Review #23, by AudenPenelope Have a Heart

13th April 2014:
Hello!
So I'm not going to lie, I find the title of this story a little strange but I'm so glad I found it. (And I LOVE Florence and the Machine) It's such a great beginning and I already love Wren as a character. And I absolutely adore the interaction between Wren and Al. This seems like such an original story and I hope to keep reading! :D

Author's Response:

Hi, AudenPenelope!

I'm so glad you found this story too! If you love the quirky bits of Florence and the Machine, you'll probably like this story. LOL! I did mean for this to be original, so don't expect too many cliche's, but do expect some weird here and there.

And by all means, let me know what you think, good or bad.

Thanks for reading!

-Pix


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Review #24, by UnluckyStar57 Big as Hearts

13th April 2014:
Hello! You didn't think I'd forgotten about you, did you?! No, things have been busy lately, but I'm back for more!! I can never resist the rabbits!

Speaking of which, ANOTHER rabbit has appeared! That's pretty scary, especially since this one is for Albus. It was horrifying when Scorpius Stunned it and it didn't stay down. I'm glad that Albus couldn't take it because he had Prefect duty. But what now? Will Scorpius become attached to it? This bunny doesn't seem like the deceptively cuddly one that Wren has--it's much feistier and meaner. Whatever happens, it does not bode well for the gang!

Oh, Wren. Constant contact with that darn rabbit and what do you get? A case of social anxiety and extreme weirdness. Why is the bunny so against the use of magic? Will Wren stop doing magic because the bunny hates it? Worse still, will the bunny DRAIN her powers from her?! Oh no!!

The photography gig sounds awesome. Wren has a talent and she should enjoy doing it. If she weren't looking after an evil bunny rabbit from Mars, I'm sure that she would.

It was nice getting some background on Hannah and the Leaky Cauldron. The idea of an Extension Charm on the room is really good, especially if there are a bunch of big, drunk people around. Hannah is totally awesome--she handled the crowd really well. Nellie should learn, but I can't blame her for wanting to get out as fast as possible! And Smeed seems okay for right now. He probably will play a larger role later on, but I hope that he's a good guy. The rabbits are villains enough for me!!

What's next? More rabbits? More times when Wren forgets what she's been doing for the past twelve hours? Will Albus turn into a giant rabbit? I can't believe you've already got fifteen chapters on this story--congratulations! I can't wait to read them!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: It's YOU! I've missed you! *hugs*

Yes, now there are two. What do you get when you have two rabbits? I'll let you ponder that for a little while...

Oh no! Horrible, magic-draining, evil rabbit!

Yes, Wren loves her camera. She'll keep loving it. I promise.

I'm glad you think Hannah is awesome. Someone's gotta be competent. Might as well be the adults in the story. :P Smeed's cool. Just like his name. Smed... Makes me smile.

Yes. You are absolutely right. Bunny's sucking Wren's powers, and Albus will turn into a rabbit. Just in time for EASTER!!! What great timing!

Just kidding.

Thanks for another fabulous review! I hope to see you around again sometime.

Pix


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Review #25, by MargaretLane Heartburn

13th April 2014:
I thought firstly that the rabbits might have had some sort of effect on James too, but it sounds more like getting too big for his boots now that he's legally an adult.

Poor Wren. She really does seem to be feeling awful.

And yikes, the latter half of this chapter is creepy. Looks like Summers is more of a victim than a suspicious character.

Author's Response:

Definitely tight boots are to blame here. LOL!

Well, you did want someone not feeling well for your challenge, right? I thought Wren fit the bill nicely. And she's NOT pregnant. :P

Yay for creepy part of the chapter! They're my favorite.


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