Reading Reviews for What If
  
71 Reviews Found

Review #1, by yoshi1911 Two Beavers Are Better Than One

16th July 2014:
Ok so I find myself writing this mostly to tell you I love the flow of your what if universe it is slightly fast paces but it not an off putting pace as some peoples you flesh out the charcters well as how the one difference sets the chain reaction thru what would be the rest of the harry potter series and I salute you for this. I am currently caught up on the series you have so far but find myself going back to just refresh myself with the suptle nuances that you bring. So in rereading there are two places in this chapter that kind of break the flow or go against the flow if you will one is im sure a typo about half way thru the chapter they are talking about the room of req. And ginniy says she remembered harry I believe you ment reminded I could be wrong just wanted to mention it to you. Now the second isnt really bad it kind of is just your interpretation of dobby but a he greets ginny and harry with good night wich again isnt bad it just kind of breaks the trance of the story for me slightly however I respect you as a writer and love the series so far these where just two critiques that i had take them or leave them. Sorry if my spelling is bad this is late at night and on a device im not used to writing reveiws on .

Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I highly appreciate constructive criticism. You actually pointed something out that I spotted and will be fixing once I get around to re-editing this chapter. I hope you continue to enjoy my stories and hope to hear from you soon!

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Review #2, by slightly odd Kat O.W.L.'s and Surprises

15th March 2014:
This is a brilliant story. Your grammar may need improving slightly, but it is not the worst I've seen. I really like this story and I look forward to reading the sequel. :) P.s. I'm registered with the name I'm using, but I'm typing this on my phone and it doesn't like me signing into sites.

Author's Response: I realize I make some mistakes now and then, but I think my English improves as the story goes on. I'm glad you liked the story and thanks a lot for leaving a review! I hope you'll enjoy the sequel too.

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Review #3, by Ginny O.W.L.'s and Surprises

13th March 2014:
This story was absolutely awesome and I'm so glad there is a sequel. I loved the battle at Grimmauld Place. You are great at writing action scenes like that. What I really like too is how not everything is serious in your story. There are always those little comical parts in between that lighten the mood of the story. For example, Fred and George making fun of Hermione and the Death Eater jumping out of the window when he saw Dumbledore in this chapter.
This is a good point to end the first story, although I thought it came a bit abruptly. I'm already excited to start on the sequel. Thank you for writing this!

Author's Response: The story has gotten a bit darker, due to Voldemort returning and the war, but I think it is important that there is a break in tension from time to time.
You're absolutely right about the story ending a bit abruptly, but I didn't want it to be too long. The sequel is already finished. I hope you will like it just as much. Thank you for reviewing every chapter. That really means a lot!

Teddy


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Review #4, by Ginny Guilt

12th March 2014:
I loved Sirius in this chapter. Mocking Ginny for calling Harry sweetie seems just like him. You did a good job describing Ginny's fears of losing Harry. Great scene with Regulus, I'm glad the two brothers reconciled. And you kept the best for last in this chapter with the destruction of the locket. The images of James and Lily were a very good idea and very realistic. Great chapter! I can't believe there's only one more to go in this story, but I saw that you already finished the sequel too. I'm already looking forward to it!

Author's Response: Thank you for all of your reviews!

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Review #5, by Ginny A New Home

12th March 2014:
I'm pretty sure I know who it is... :) I love all of the quotes you include, especially this one. I'm a huge Eminem fan!
This was another great chapter. This is turning out to be one of my favourite stories ever!

Author's Response: I'm sure you'll be right, I don't think it's too hard to guess. Thanks you so much for your nice comments. It really means a lot to see that you are enjoying my story.

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Review #6, by Ginny Moving On

12th March 2014:
Awesome chapter! The DA meeting was great. It showed that
they all realized that war is coming and that they are all
prepared to fight. I was actually moved when Dean showed
everyone his drawing of Angelina.
I was very moved by the meeting between McGonagall and
the Quidditch team. I liked their determination to win the cup
for her without actually replacing her and how they were
reminiscing about her afterwards.
I absolutely love your Harry and Ginny moments. They are so
sweet! And then the trial... I was kind of expecting Malfoy to
change after those little hints you dropped, but I definitely
didn't expect this. I like the idea though and I'm curious what
will happen to him now.

Author's Response: I really enjoy writing every moment Harry and Ginny have together. I think by now, their relationship has evolved from puppy love to a more mature relationship. I'm glad you liked what I did with the trial. I realize a lot of people will think it unrealistic that Malfoy testified against his own father, but I thought it was the right way to go. Thanks for all of your reviews!

Teddy


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Review #7, by Ginny It Has Begun

12th March 2014:
That was another amazing chapter. You did a great job describing Harry's feelings about Angelina and Wormtail. It seems very much like him to feel bad about killing him, even if he didn't mean to and Wormtail was scum.
I liked the scene with Snape. It was the first time we really saw the new understanding between him and Harry and I liked how you didn't make Snape overly friendly, but kept his character mostly like it was.
The final scene with Ginny was just adorable. It seems just like Harry to tell her he loves her for the first time almost by accident.

Author's Response: Harry wouldn't be Harry without blaming himself for everything, or at least a lot of things. I made sure I didn't change Snape's character too much. Although he gets along with Harry now, that doesn't mean he'll be overly friendly now. Thanks again!

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Review #8, by Ginny Fallen

11th March 2014:
Oh my god! What an amazing fighting scene! Awesome chapter, but with a very sad ending...

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

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Review #9, by Ginny War Childs

11th March 2014:
What an amazing chapter! The scene with Neville actually brought tears in my eyes and you ended with the perfect quote again.
I totally forgot about the blood protection! It seems Voldemort has found a way around it now. At least he has no reason to doubt Snape now.
I'm not so sure anymore if Draco was the one who ordered Crabbe and Goyle to attack his sister. He seems to have changed... I'm curious what part he will play in the future.
This story is absolutely awesome. It gets better and better. Great work!

Author's Response: Seeing as Voldemort used Fudge instead of Harry for his rebirth ritual, Harry was still protected against him thanks to his mother's sacrifice. I had to find a way for Voldemort to get around that, otherwise he would never be able to harm Harry.

Draco certainly is an intruiging character and there will be a lot more about him in later chapters.

Thanks for reviewing!

Teddy


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Review #10, by Ginny Eventful Holidays

11th March 2014:
This was without a doubt my favourite chapter so far. The whole situation with Jacinta broke my heart. It would be so great if she got to live with Sirius and Harry! And I think the quote of this chapter perfectly describes the relationship between Harry and Jacinta.
I also loved the part where they talk about Snape. Everything they said actually made a lot of sense and it makes the whole Snape being friends with the Marauders idea more realistic.
Your writing has improved a lot since the beginning of your story. You're doing a great job!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for all of your reviews. I appreciate it very much. I'm glad to see you are enjoying my story. There is no greater joy for a writer than an appreciative reviewer. Thank you!

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Review #11, by Ginny Gryffindor versus Slytherin

10th March 2014:
I loved the Quidditch game. Harry really gave Malfoy a lesson in Quidditch. It was nice to learn a bit more about Angelina. She's a character we don't know much about. Great chapter. I'm enjoying this more and more.

Author's Response: I really like Angelina's character and I wanted to include a back story about her family. I'm really glad you liked the story so far and thank you for all of your reviews!

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Review #12, by Ginny Secrets From The Past

10th March 2014:
I certainly did not expect that. I never saw writers using this idea before, but I kind of like it. I'm sure this means we are going to see a different Snape from now on, although I hope you don't change him too much... Awesome chapter!

Author's Response: I have never seen this in another story too, but I liked the idea and I wanted to use it. Snape will certainly be different than in the books, but I won't change his personality. The only difference will be that he'll be more fair towards Harry.

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Review #13, by Ginny An Army Is Formed

10th March 2014:
Great chapter... Again. Poor Jacinta! I had a feeling something like that was gonna happen to her. I like the idea of Dumbledore teaching Harry advanced magic instead of just telling him about Riddle's past. This story keeps getting better.

Author's Response: Jacinta was most definitely born in the wrong family. Dumbledore sure would now a lot about advanced defensive magic and I thought he would teach Harry as much as possible now that Voldemort is back. Thank you for reviewing!

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Review #14, by Ginny Birth of a Legend

10th March 2014:
This was awesome! I love the DA and it seems they will be even more important in your story than they were in the books. Amazing chapter.

Author's Response: The DA will certainly play a very important part in this story. Thanks. I'm really glad you liked it.

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Review #15, by Ginny Professor Tonks

10th March 2014:
It looks like Dumbledore's Army will be founded soon. Awesome :). I loved how Hagrid put Malfoy in his place. This story is great.

Author's Response: I couldn't leave them out now, could I? Thanks for all of your reviews!

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Review #16, by Ginny Coming Home

10th March 2014:
Tonks as DADA teacher... That should be interesting. I like the idea that Malfoy has a little sister and I have this feeling we will see more of her. Especially because she was sorted into Gryffindor. I liked Dumbledore's speech. Very good chapter!

Author's Response: She will sure be able to teach them a lot. We'll definitely see more of Jacinta as the story progresses. Thanks again!

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Review #17, by Ginny Happy Birthday

10th March 2014:
Now you got me crying. That was absolutely beautiful. I also liked Dumbledore's and Ginny's presents. And I laughed at Seamus and Hermione. Awesome chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot! I was rather satisfied myself with this chapter. Glad you liked it.

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Review #18, by Ginny We Can Win This

10th March 2014:
That was another great chapter... I love it.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

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Review #19, by Ginny The Trial of Peter Pettigrew

10th March 2014:
That was great. I'm so happy Sirius is free. I think you wrote the trial really well.

Author's Response: I knew I was going to do that from the very beginning. I'm glad you like it. Thanks!

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Review #20, by Ginny I Have To Do What Now?

10th March 2014:
I was surprised that Dumbledore decided to tell Harry about the Prophecy this fast, but I kind of like the idea. Good chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks again...

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Review #21, by Ginny I Have To Do What Now?

10th March 2014:
I was surprised that Dumbledore decided to tell Harry about the Prophecy this fast, but I kind of like the idea. Good chapter.

Author's Response: I should probably tell you this. Although Dumbledore is one of my favourite characters, I have changed him a bit from the books. In this story he will be much less secretive and will share more information with Harry and work closer together with him. I hope it won't be a dealbreaker for you. Thanks!

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Review #22, by Ginny Grimmauld Place

10th March 2014:
Great chapter. I can really see your writing improving during the course of the story.

Author's Response: Thanks again. Seeing as this was my first story, I think my writing does improve a lot. I think you'll notice that in later chapters and the sequel.

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Review #23, by Ginny It Happened

10th March 2014:
Fudge! I really didn't expect that. And he used to be a Death Eater too... Great chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks! I wanted to choose someone unexpected for the ritual.

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Review #24, by Ginny I'm Not Going Home

10th March 2014:
Awesome... I liked how Gryffindor and Hufflepuff shared the first place. The ending was really sad. Poor Harry...
I love how you always finish with a quote that has something to do with the chapter. I especially like the Mandela quote. Great story so far!

Author's Response: Leaving Hogwarts at the end of the year has always been hard for Harry. I'm glad you like the quotes idea. Thanks for your reviews.

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Review #25, by Ginny The Third Task

10th March 2014:
Great job on the third task. I loved how Cedric's Boggart was a Blast-Ended Skrewt and the little conversation they had afterwards. So Cedric is alive (for now). I have to continue reading to see what happens next!

Author's Response: Thanks! I thought this wasn't one of my best chapters as I felt I rushed through the task a bit fast. I'm glad you liked it nonetheless.

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