185 Reviews Found

Review #1, by beka_wotter The One With Colin Deacon

15th April 2015:
I absolutely ADORE this story! I love how awesome Isabella is and how sweet James is and how lovely Abigail is, both the characters and the story are realistic and really gripping :) I was just wondering whether you decided to make a sequel or keep going, my personal preference would be a sequel but if you've already decided otherwise I'm sure I'll just love reading a nice long fic ;) I honestly can't wait for the next chapter!! This story really is incredible! x

 Report Review

Review #2, by TheEighthHorcrux The One With Colin Deacon

24th March 2015:
I jus love your story so much! Your writing style is so realistic. This story isn't filled with dramatic garbage and James is so adorable when he is with Abigail. This story is amazing. I hope you update soon :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this wonderful review! And for your kind words, I didn't want to just cram this with dramatic drama and wanted to focus on James/Abigail. More updates are coming soon and I'm planning lots of chapters! :D

 Report Review

Review #3, by bumblebee The One With Colin Deacon

24th March 2015:
Ahhh... Ive been waiting for this chapter for ever... James' reaction didnt disappoint.
Good read :D

Author's Response: Aw I'm so glad that you enjoyed James' reaction, I've been looking forward to writing this chapter for quite some time now. Thank you for reading and reviewing! :D

 Report Review

Review #4, by Ayame The One With The Slap

23rd March 2015:
Just wanted to start off by saying this I absolutely love this story!

Abigail loving comics made me read it from the very first chapter because it's such a great theme. It's something really new, to me, in the HP fandom because I'm not sure I've ever seen comics really addressed much if at all. I love that James and Abigail are comic geeks/"fangirls" together. I've also always had a love of comics, like Abigail, but didn't particularly want people knowing because of how they'd take it. So I can absolutely relate to her from the comics' side.

Isabella slapping Rebecca was great, both because Rebecca deserved it and how Isabella was so prepared for the consequences. Though I'd love to see Abigail stand up to Rebecca at some point because we've seen that she's capable of standing up for herself. Even to Michelle in the past, which even surprised Abigail herself.

William is so fun too and I'm excited that we may get to see some more of him in the coming chapters. As well as him flirting with Isabella, who is just so fierce it's fantastic.

I'm so excited that Abigail is making plans to tell James about who her dad is. I won't lie, I'm a bit worried that Michelle might tell him before Abigail gets the chance for some revenge. Especially because she's been acting so petty and childish despite acknowledging that what she did was wrong.

But I hope James finds out soon! I can't wait to see how he reacts and I really, really hope that it isn't badly due to her keeping it a secret for quite a while. But to be fair and logical, they haven't been together long and James obviously understands wanting to keep some things private (as he said about her dad using a pen-name ages ago.)

Finally, I know that at the beginning of the last chapter you asked for opinions on whether the continuation into seventh year etc. should continue under this title or under a new one. I think, especially as you're planning to do POVs other than Abigail's, that it would be best to do a new story for it. For the sake of continuity because The Adventures of Abigail Higgs and Potter Boy has been solely from Abigail's point of view. It's even in the name, she's the headliner (of course) so it makes sense that it's all from her side and focused primarily n her.

So I think, depending on where you're planning to go with it as well, the different POVs and seventh year maybe deserve to be their own story with a new title to reflect the changes from this one. I meant to comment on the last chapter to tell you what I thought but things were so hectic and stressful for a while that I completely forgot, sorry!

Hopefully that all made sense to you ^^; thank you so much for writing this and I hope you update it soon! It's definitely one of my favorite stories on the site and I give a little flail whenever it shows up as updated in my RSS reader.

 Report Review

Review #5, by purwa The One With The Slap

22nd March 2015:
hey you always say my beta you know in our language beta means son what do you mean by beta? don't mind.By the way update soon i really want to read more i can't wait to read this :)

Author's Response: Hey! Does it? By beta I mean someone who looks over my story and edits it so that it flows better and checks for mistakes. I shall update as soon as I can, I'm so glad that you're enjoying my story and I can't wait to see what you think of the other chapters. :D

 Report Review

Review #6, by purwa The One With The Slap

14th March 2015:
that's amazing fanfic i ever read

Author's Response: Thank you! I hope that you continue reading :D More is coming soon!

 Report Review

Review #7, by James101 The One With The Slap

10th March 2015:
This chapter was so good!

It was hilarious when Isabella slapped Rebecca...mostly because Rebecca deserved it.

William and Isabella would be so cute together-like a secoundary pairing or sonething.

IS James going to meet Abigail's dad in a few chapters or alot of chapters?

Overall this chapter was adorable and funny ;as usual.Keep up the good work!

 Report Review

Review #8, by ShannonRay The One With The Protection of Sacred Pancakes

1st March 2015:
Hi! soo i read this story quite a while ago when the latest chapter was chapter 11! and then I just forgot about it, I didn't have an account then so i couldn't add it to currently reading or favourites so it happened. I got really excited when I saw this in the recently updated thingy! and i re-read the first 11 chapters then i read to chapter 28 in a day! I am so pleased with how you made the story, even though it was heart breaking when i read it I am so glad that you added some drama with them getting together! Though Im very glad that they're together happily now! I really want Isabella and Willaim together! though i feel kind of sorry for Sian all the time... I'm probably over sensitive! I really cannot wait for Abigail to tell James about her dad, I hope he is just excited not annoyed she didn't tell him- she needs to tell him sonn! i just can't. I am terribly sorry for the bad grammar in this review- and that some of the 'i'S are not capital- on my laptop it doesn't automatically make them capital and then i cant be bothered to change them and yeah, and also my laptop also liked to autocorrect things to change the words so you may have to guess on some words because i cannot face changing them all thought I've tried with some... yeah i need a beta for my reviews :') ANYWAY as always keep writing you are great and fab woo yeah.. update soon :)

 Report Review

Review #9, by james101 The One With The Protection of Sacred Pancakes

28th February 2015:
Ive been reading 'Beat It' for a while now and i saw the name Abigail so i decided to check out this story and its brilliant

I cant believe that Michelle thinks that Sian would ever take her side...

Isabella and William were cute because they have that funny sarcastic type relationship...And when Isabella mentioned kissing Ethan you could tell that William did not like the sound of that one bit ; D

And finally James and Abigail were completely adorable with the presents and James sweetly watching her...Utterly adorable

 Report Review

Review #10, by burli The One With The Protection of Sacred Pancakes

25th February 2015:
It is always sooo nice to read your story. Your writting is nice and good and I could get lost in it and read and reread and reread it again. :) Anyways: good chapter as always, they are so lovely together and that makes me happy :)
I would love to follow this story 'til the (hopefully un-) bitter end. Maybe you could switch the POVs in this one between Abi and James and do a spin off of William? I love him and would like to know more about his backround, etc.
So, keep it up :)

Author's Response: Thank you for such a wonderful review! You are so awesome! I hope that you like the future chapters I have in store for you! :D

There is going to be quite some time until the end and I'm sticking with this until it's finished! :D I think that I'm definitely going to have this as a Abigail/James PoV with a few chapters from William and Isabella's pov. James' pov will start from their seventh year.

There will be more background information on them all coming soon! :D


 Report Review

Review #11, by macpp The One With The Protection of Sacred Pancakes

24th February 2015:
ahh love this! they are so cute! I'd love James POV but maybe do isobel/William in a spin off? or in here if you'd like as I like them as characters so I think it'd work either way :)

Author's Response: Thank you! And I love you for leaving me an awesome review and for loving this so much. :D
Okay, I think that an Isobella and William spin-off is necessary! I think I'm going to have this as a James and Abigail pov story. :D


 Report Review

Review #12, by Leah The One With The Protection of Sacred Pancakes

24th February 2015:
Ackkk this is so beautiful I love them together!!!

Author's Response: Thank you! :D I'm trying to make them as cute as possible :P

 Report Review

Review #13, by potterfan310 The One Where I Learn More About William

14th February 2015:
Hey!
Oh look at that I'm finally getting around to R+R'ing (at last!!).

AHHH I am still reeling from the fact they kissed!!

"You're worth it." - I just died a little, so cute!

I am a hundred per cent in agreement with Isabella, is there anything she can throw at Michelle?? haha. Isabella and William, oh my god these two, why have they never been together before because they are brilliant. Me thinks Isabella is less badger, more honey badger XD

Aww William, bless. I can totally see him and Isabella having a love/hate relationship. That or they act like they're together but they aren't.

Yes! James totally needs to do the musical number! James is just so adorable and geeky and I love your characterisation of him, the nerd.

Tammi, this chapter just asdfghjkl! It's brilliant (as always :D). Can't wait for the next one, I just hope it doesn't take me a month to get around to reading it again.

-Potterfan310

 Report Review

Review #14, by oldershouldknowbetter The One With The End Of A Friendship

23rd January 2015:
Review#26: the review which makes it all worth while.


Again Abigail has stayed up all night working on her comic. I really, really want to read that comic.

Abigail is reminded of the day’s Quidditch match by Michelle. Michelle is blunt and it seems she tries to gee Abigail up, but when Abigail refuses her request and stands up to her firmly she leaves the dorm without a further word.

Abigail resigns herself to probably having to leave her dorm sometime when Sian rushes in. She must come with her now; Isabella had a word with James, and with William and … something’s up which she must come and see for herself.

She comes out to hear shouting between Isabella and … it’s not James? … it’s Michelle?

And then she hears the truth.

Michelle is truly in denial. She makes out that this whole thing is not her fault. She warned Abigail, in her mind poor, hopeless, unlovable Abigail about James. He wouldn’t want a girl like her; couldn’t want a girl like her. And when he did - against all of Michelle’s expectations and in the face of her overwhelming jealousy that her mousy friend could succeed where she haddn’t – she did her best to sabotage it all and prove herself correct. And she still cannot see what she has done wrong.

At this, this ultimate betrayal, Abigail finally stands up to Michelle and says what she has said only in the quiet confines of her mind before. All the stuff she’s repressed and put up with about the awful friendship that she’s had to endure all these years comes out. That it also cost her a true shot at happiness is just the bitter twist at the end.

But maybe not, William has overheard all – have I said how much I like him as a character?

He tells them that Michelle’s perfidy runs even deeper that they expected. She actually approached James and spewed her bile down his throat (metaphorically speaking of course). Does Michelle’s treachery know no limits?

They have to leave her before worse is done or said.

William and Isabella fill her in on the details as go to find James.

He hasn’t given up for her, it’s not too late.

Abigail rushes to see him and …

I cannot comment upon the rest as it is just too perfect. Everything is done right: The miscommunication is all cleared up; the humanness of the first kiss going so right and yet so gracelessly; their easiness with each other; and finally, their mutual esteem.

So glad am I that when I came to review all this work, that you had completed this chapter and posted it; so glad that I wasn’t left in suspense with the tragic events of the previous chapter.

And as everything perfect does, the chapter ends with a kiss

Author's Response: Yep, she's really putting all of her time and energy into her comic book, trying not to think about James and kinda failing in that.

Michelle is too blunt, she needs to give Abigail some time, instead of being so mean! But at least Abigail is beginning to stand up for herself.

Haha oh yes! Something is happening! And it's Michelle! The truth is out!

Oh she is so in denial! And wants to still play the victim even though everyone knows that it's entirely her fault now. She can't see Abigail happy for one moment!

It is definitely the ultimate betrayal, but it gives Abigail the courage to stand up to her.

William is awesome! Haha :D and Michelle's treachery knows no limits! She's just the devil!

Isabella definitely would have hurt Michelle if they stayed around. :D

Awww thank you! I wanted their first kiss to be as normal as I could make it, I certainly don't remember my first kiss being all fireworks and amazingness where everyone knew what they were doing. It was all teeth clashing and ... eurgh! We don't think about it haha.

I am so so glad that you reviewed this story! You have been such an amazing and awesome secret santa and I'm very honoured to have your reviews to read.

Thank you so much!


 Report Review

Review #15, by oldershouldknowbetter The One Where I Try To Avoid Everyone

23rd January 2015:
Review#25: the review which tries to pick up the pieces.


Isabella finds her and tries to pour some balm into her poisoned bosom.

Comics as catharsis – I love it. It is like the ‘break-up album’, singer/songwriters nearly always do their best stuff just after a break-up. So too has Abigail and the subject is very telling.
But in the end the comics only serve to remind her of what she’s lost.

Isabella tries to comfort her friend, but what comfort can truly be given in such a circumstance?
The sleepless night spent producing comics has another result in an exhausted Abigail. She sleeps the day through avoiding everyone and deliberately missing the appointment with James.

When she wakes she immediately feels guilty at her standing him up because of her intrinsic good nature, but then she remembers why. She rationalises and beats herself up for getting sucked in – all the while not understanding why it has happened. She has been a good judge of character all throughout this story, even though she has doubted her abilities. She couldn’t have gotten him so wrong could she?

Isabella and Sian return with news on James: that he was ‘playing the victim’; that he wanted to talk to her; that he wondered what he had done to upset her. But again the information from seemingly disparate sources seems to confirm the worst.

It was Isabella who brought the food, I thought so – it smacked of her generosity of spirit and not Michelle’s.

Abigail is left alone to ponder just how she will face anyone tomorrow as worthless as she feels.

Author's Response: Oh Abigail, I just want to hug her, she deserves nothing but happiness and is all sad because of certain people!

Abigail definitely has her own version of the 'break-up album'. It's what she knows and loves, it's what she goes to when she's upset or nervous, or happy. So it made sense for her to go back when she's heartbroken.

Poor Isabella, she's tried to be there for her, but there's not much she can do.

Abigail does feel guilty, and I feel sorry for her for going through such conflicting feelings. I'm a terrible person :P

Isabella and Sian are definitely great friends for her, a lot better than Michelle.

Thanks for reviewing!! :D


 Report Review

Review #16, by oldershouldknowbetter The One Where My Heart Tore To Pieces

23rd January 2015:
Review#24: the review which leaves one with little hope.


The chapter begins with Quidditch and an ominous title.

Oh I like her realising the changes that have been wrought in her psyche by the events of this year. I love the fact as well that she has made her own comic book for him as well and based it on their ramblings and conversations.

She goes to freshen up in a bathroom and walks into horror. Everything she feared, no dreaded, is now said to be true: James playing her; William in on it; Rebecca his girlfriend; and worst of all her supposed best friend knowing about it and not telling her.

‘Overheard hurtful gossip’ should now be added to things which are staples of a thwarted romance.

She is gutted and in her misery and her fragile ego makes little inconsequential things fit what she now thinks to be true.

Quote: “ … who walked on by as if I was nothing.
Because I was nothing. I had always been nothing.”

Oh damn.

How heartbreaking.

But she does have one little moment of clarity, maybe it wasn’t true, maybe it was all a lie. She would ask her best friend. Until she confirmed or denied it she would not – well try not – to think it was true.

Michelle confirms it with such honesty and sincerity that Abigail has no reason to doubt her. Her world collapses around her and she has had enough of the world and everyone in it

The only positive thing that the reader can take away from this is:

Quote: “ … Michelle would have no reason to lie about it and have no reason to have talked to those girls.
It had to be true and it was killing me.”

This is supposition and is a classic tool of spycraft. Abigail knows no connection between the girls in the toilets and Michelle and therefore there is none. So to have two dissimilar groups privy to the same information must make that information true. This is based upon the false assumption that Michelle and the girls have not colluded whether directly or through a third party.

It is a small hope and one that this reader, at least, grasps to himself like a drowning man clutches at a life preserver.

Author's Response: Oh that was a very ominous title!

Yep, they both like comic books so much and she had no clue what to actually get him, so it was the perfect idea for her.

Of course it had to happen in the girls toilet, it's where all of our good gossip and unladylike behaviour towards other girls comes from. When you wonder why we all take so long in the ladies, it's this reason entirely. Gossip!

She's absolutely heartbroken when Michelle confirms it and she doesn't have any reason to doubt Michelle, aside from the fact that she's evil...

Awww I'm sorry it was a sad chapter, but I'm so glad that you left an amazing review! :D


 Report Review

Review #17, by oldershouldknowbetter The One With The Duel To The Death

23rd January 2015:
Review#23: the review which said the words we all wanted to hear.


In the snow together and James does something that every boy (straight boy) has done at least once – something stupid in front of the girl he likes thinking that it will impress her.

But there is nothing that a boy likes better than to be nursemaided by the girl he likes after he has done something stupid to impress her and gotten himself hurt.

When James actually decides to ask her something that is truly close to his heart he doesn’t falter. True Gryffindor style he marches bravely on in the face of all her questioning of him and her silence and her embarrassment.

The word date has finally been used and it cannot be un-used – thank heavens.

There is some light banter and flirting before Abigail finds her friends at dinner. The reactions are all as we would expect Isabella is outrageously happy. Sian is pleased too. As for Michelle she pretends to be happy, but Abigail has known her longer and better than that and knows that Michelle is displeased and perhaps even upset.

James suddenly and mysteriously appears and challenges Abigail to a sword fight. It’s odd behaviour and all the while I’m thinking, “Is this James. We all know about Pollyjuice potion and the Imperius curse.” But it seems like it was just an excuse to get her close to him so that they could kiss. This is driving me crazy, until the other shoe drops you are going to have me jumping at shadows and doubting the veracity of everything I read.

… but she did kiss him. Yay!

Author's Response: Oh yes! The doing something stupid in front of the girl you like. It was totally a James thing to do! He'll do anything he can to impress her (Case in point, that talent show) And of course having Abigail look after him when it failed is a definite plus in James' eyes! :D

James is a very brave guy, he does things and maybe asks the questions a few days later haha. He finally plucks up the courage to ask her on a date.

Nope! It can't be un-used!!

Isabella is such a supportive friend, so I had to have her screaming in excitement haha.

Oh yes, that was James, no Polyjuice potion here, but I can see where you're coming from. I would have been suspicious too.
It's definitely an excuse to get closer to her, hahaha I'm so glad that you have so many feelings for this!

Thank you so much! You're so brilliant and amazing!


 Report Review

Review #18, by oldershouldknowbetter The One With The Morning After

23rd January 2015:
Review#22: the review which recovers from the one before and hints at far worse to come.


She wakes up in his arms; it’s pretty sweet. Again you have been using her illness well. It lowered her inhibitions enough to get her to this pass, but has made her feel like doing little more than what she has. So that nothing improper could come from this late night out together. It is well done.

The one important thing this overnighter has done is to make them far more relaxed in each other’s company. Well, at least when they are alone – the presence of other people might disturb their equilibrium somewhat.

I don’t really understand about the bacon. Is that a girl thing not wanting to pig out in front of the guy she likes even though she’s hungry? It sounds like it could be, but I’m just a clueless male who would have just wolfed down the bacon and the eggs and the sausages and the mushrooms and the …

The dorm room is attained without incident, but her nightly absence hasn’t gone unnoticed by her friends. They are excited for her except for Michelle who blanks her. Isabella reveals that there is something going on – Michelle tried her luck with Ethan but was rejected. So my supposition might be correct – the green eyed monster might be playing a part in Michelle’s nastiness.

Isabella is there, yet again showing Abigail what a true friend should be and do. And she gives it to Rebecca too, which is alright by me.

Quote: “I’ll always stick up for you, Abigail.”

Good.

Reading on – you go Isabella, tell her what we have been thinking all along, but Abigail denies and refuses to raise her hopes.

Oh oh, what are the four main antagonists doing meeting in secret – this does not bode well. Abigail tries to pass it off as coincidence but I think deep down she has her suspicions. Isabella is far more sure of dark dealings.

There are some nice moments with James in Potions and he is far closer than ever before in being truthful to Abigail.

Suspicious motions are afoot with the behaviour of Michelle and especially Barry and Elijah.

Author's Response: They both need to stop being so damn cute and kiss already! They are definitely more relaxed and this may have to be a tradition that they carry on throughout the story.

It is a girl thing, well not for me because I don't care and will eat what I want haha, but mostly there's some element of not wanting to seem like a pig for eating all of the food in sight. Or at least it used to be for me back in the day :P See, guys don't really care so I don't know why us girlies worry so much! I say eat what you want and be done with it!

Oh Isabella and the others noticed, how could they not when Isabella has clearly been up waiting to hear all of the gossip!

Oh Michelle and Ethan, Poor Ethan is all I can say! She is definitely jealous!

Abigail will always have Isabella on her side.

So many suspicious activities from those four!

Thank you!! :D


 Report Review

Review #19, by oldershouldknowbetter The One Where James Convinces Me To Break The Rules

23rd January 2015:
Review#21: the review which starts to make stuff (and I don’t just mean out of wood).


We don’t know what Muggle Studies was like from anything that JKR wrote in her books. I like your focus (for this year of their studies at least) on the various Muggle hobbies – it is a good device which you have used well to further your plot. And now we have to two of them attempting wood work, I wonder how that is going to go …

They are just barely cutting the wood.

Partly that is because there is so much talking and what talking it is. Abigail just misses so much like James calling her cute and sexy for instance. Yes, I know it has to do with her sick voice, but she just marches over it. She is flirting nearly as badly with him too, like when she cheekily pokes her tongue out at him.
Abigail makes a crack about James’ ego and he replies:

“Abigail Higgs, you are down right evil today. This cold is making you delirious.”

No it’s not it is just freeing her of some of her inhibitions.

And just in time too as James invites her for a cloak inspired rendezvous. Though I don’t know how much the sickness will interfere.

Apparition is on the Horizon.

Michelle is acting weirdly. Not as like she has done in the past, treating her like dirt; no it’s different. I wonder whether it is the presence of other possible friends which has been holding her back? She knows that if she pulls the sort of stuff that she has done in the past to poor Abigail in front of them they may just call her on her nastiness.

Abigail goes out on her date which isn’t a date.
James shows her his cloak. And lets her wear it.

And he shows her the Map!

Wow, that is a lot of trusting and he’s hugging her and putting his hand on her face and all sorts of stuff – WAKE UP YOU TWO!

We learn that Michelle has been sneaking off as well as acting strange. We knew she had been absent a lot, but actively sneaking off and not saying anything to her supposed best friend – something is going on. And the cloak arrives just in time to advance the plot. It’s a nice little piece of convenience which isn’t too forced and drives the plot along nicely. Otherwise you would have to contrive Abigail just finding out by happenstance. No, if she was going to become closer to James she would eventually learn about the Cloak and the Map so it is as I said not too forced a coincidence.

Oh this is a date alright. The food, the supplies the comics and staying out all night wrapped up in James’ arms. Come on guys, tell her your secret already James, and Abigail just admit to yourself and to him all the feelings you have been having are true and real.

Author's Response: I was struggling to think of what they would learn in Muggle Studies and I thought, why not have muggle hobbies? It would be so cool to see what they think that Muggles do in their spare time! But their woodwork skills are as great as most Muggle's woodwork skills :P

Oh they should definitely stop talking if they want to finish their work, but we don't want that at all! Stay flirting you two! Abigail is so oblivious to James' comments, she just thinks that he's being nice, when in fact he's admitting his undying love for her!! ... or near enough :P

They are both flirting so badly with each other, if William was there he would just be shaking his head at them for not admitting their feelings to each other.

Michelle is definitely acting suspicious, she's up to something! We all know it!

Oh yes, the date that isn't a date but is totally a date! With added hugging, hands on face and just kiss already!

It's definitely a date! I agree with you! He should definitely admit to his secret! and she should admit that she likes him!

Thank you once again! :D


 Report Review

Review #20, by oldershouldknowbetter The One With The Cold

23rd January 2015:
Review#20: the review which is feeling a bit poorly.


Abigail returns to the castle sick, but at least Michelle is being a good friend or seems to be at least from Abigail’s faulty perception. She takes herself back to bed to sleep it off.

Sleep doesn’t work, neither does time and she is a shambling wreck for most of her classes. Michelle is back to being disapproving and nasty about James’ intentions/behaviour. There has to be something more to it than just warning her friend off from a potential heartbreak. It is probably something along the lines that her own crush has never returned her advances and probably doesn’t even know she exists. Jealousy would be a good explanation for her continued negativity in defiance of the facts: the fact that James is still talking to her and hasn’t done anything mean spirited or bad.

William again; he is a great secondary character. He is just so believable and real, you have done a great job with him. I wonder if his sister and her problems will impinge upon this story again (I have my suspicions about it).

It is a nice bit of story that ends with – “Then I’ll wait for you to tell me.”

James taking her to the hospital wing is all perfectly good boyfriend stuff – just hurry up you two and make it official.

Author's Response: Michelle being a good friend should always be treated as suspicious! Always!

Poor Abigail, she's really ill and Michelle is back to how she was. Surprise surprise! Silly Michelle! Oh you shall find out more about Michelle in future chapters! There will be more on Ethan and Michelle in the future! It's definitely jealousy though.

I wanted James to have a decent friend. Barry and Elijah aren't exactly the greatest choice in the world. There will be more with William's 'rivalry' with his sister later on. That's not going anywhere at the moment.

They do need to hurry up and make it official! *kicks them into gear* GET ADMITTING TO FEELINGS YOU TWO!

Thank you!!


 Report Review

Review #21, by oldershouldknowbetter The One With The Plans To Elope

23rd January 2015:
Review#19: the review which has so many good feels.


She meets James in the park. If she had been more confident she would have put a hand on his shoulder, but she isn’t and doesn’t even think of doing it.

So James’ family sounds like the usual sort of fare for the Weasley clan: shenanigans; underage drinking; uncles and dads who won’t take everything too seriously; dads and uncles who will take everything too seriously.

I’m reading all the conversation and it’s all good fluffy stuff and what I’m glad of is that it’s staying away from pure flirty-ness which is good because a long conversation of only flirting would not have worked I think. I like the hangover too; I suddenly saw its purpose story wise – it prevents him from being too forward or taking their rendezvous to the level of assignation.

Ah, the shoulder squeeze does get a look in, now that she’s feeling comfortable and relaxed around him.

And then the Hammock. Yes, this is why he has a hangover so his teenaged-maleness doesn’t overcome his propriety and turn a tender moment into one that both parties might regret. Them lying together is so sweet until, once again, romanticus interuptus occurs this time in the form of an outraged mother and her obnoxious child.

Quote: “If I dared act that way when I was that age, my mother would hex me into next week, and then my Grandmother would hex me into the week afterwards, then when I recovered from that my father would just look at me in disappointment and tell me that I’ve let him down.”

This was fantastic; a great piece of characterisation and an echo from the books of how Ron talked about how his mother would deal with any of his wrong doings.

Holding hands is a fantastic next step – though Abigail will probably tell herself that it was only because of the cold and nothing else. *sigh*
She is such a different girl away from Hogwarts and when she forgets to remember her insecurities. I like how you have reversed the usual trope around going out with James. Usually it is he who is wary of having girls only wanting to go out with him because of his famous father. I wonder if, when Abigail’s father is revealed to be who he is, James will say he was wary of girls/her too for similar reasons.

Oh and such delicious flirtings about being in Abigail’s bed – you nearly made me blush and I’m sitting alone at home typing this up on the spare computer while the kids are playing DOTA on the main one.

Author's Response: I wish that I was a Weasley, they sound like they have so much fun together!

I'm glad that you're liking the fluffy stuff, they can't flirt all the time bless them. I just want to squish them in hugs and tell them that they're being so adorable!

Yep, it's exactly why the hangover has happened! It gives him a reason to be close to her, because his brain is too busy trying to recover to worry about anything. Definitely romanticus interuptus! Silly woman and her child! So rude! The hammock swing was in use!

It's definitely the Weasley women who run the household! I would fear them, although I would fear the look of disappointment far more!

Poor Abigail, she needs to realise the hand holding is because James likes her!

She really is, and it's because she hasn't got Michelle around to put her down and make her see otherwise. Michelle isn't good for her at all. Poor Abigail.

I'm so glad that you like how I've changed that around, James will find out soon who Abigail's father is, so you can see soon. :D

Hahaha I had to include that! and it made me blush too whilst I was writing it!

Thank you so much for leaving me such wonderful and amazing reviews! *squishes you*


 Report Review

Review #22, by oldershouldknowbetter The One When I Go Home For Christmas

23rd January 2015:
Review#18: the review which has a lot of family in it.


The brother appears again and we have some good sibling banter.

We see her room – comicy and homey. I like how you have made her a comic book geek without making her out to be a freak.

She actually has a mum! (I was beginning to wonder) Her likes are such that she is far more a daddy’s girl – much like my own daughter. Then I read on and it is even more so. I like how confident and sure of herself you have made her once she is back in the bosom of her family. It makes a great counterpoint from the insecure Abigail at Hogwarts.

Then Hogwarts intrudes when she has to send out her last gift and it is back to all the old insecurities. *sigh* Sure-of-herself Abigail was so nice while she lasted.

The sister is a good addition to the mix. I must assume that you have siblings as you write the interactions between them all so well. Laughing and joking at each other when it doesn’t count; being supportive and loving when it does.

All the Christmas family stuff has a wonderful truthful air to it.

Prezzies, all good and then a tapping on the window – a letter from James; so no gift, boo; but an explanation and a promise of one to come, so yay. He still wants to keep to their arrangement of meeting over the Holidays, yes of course he does.

Self-doubt is replaced by elation and we are all the happier for it.

Author's Response: I do like writing Darryl and Abigail together, they are entertaining and I try to think of the kind of things that me and my brothers would argue about to include it. :P

I'm glad that you like it, I couldn't have her any other way with a dad like hers. If one of his children wasn't as obsessed as she was, he would have felt that he had failed as a parent.

She does have a mum! Haha she's just a massive daddy's girl, much like me too. Once she's home she's a different person entirely, at home she can be who she wants without worrying what others think.

Yep, the old insecurities come back, I wish she was more confident, but that is what Isabella and James are for, to make her more confident in herself and around others.

I do have siblings, two sisters and two brothers all older. I tried to draw on what me and my siblings have said/joked/fought about and include those moments in, so I'm glad that it seems realistic.

Sadly no gift, but he does have a gift on the way. :D

Thank you once again!


 Report Review

Review #23, by oldershouldknowbetter The One Where James is a Loser

23rd January 2015:
Review #17: the review where our expectations are toyed with.


Coming into this chapter after the last one, I was dismayed to say the least upon reading the chapter title. James being a Loser after what had apparently happened between him and Rebecca could only mean that it happened and he now regretted it and comes to beg forgiveness of Abigail. We all hope not but that is what the title implies – let us see.

The cold weather has driven her inside, but from her past behaviour we wouldn’t expect Abigail to be outside with Michelle and the Quidditch people.

Along comes James and the dread settles in.
We get distracted by something bright and shiny and so does Abigail – a new comic by a new author. This is the parchment smell! One of their shared ‘love smells’ from the love potion (was that really fourteen chapters ago?). I had assumed it was something to do with books and lessons and studying, but of course it would be comics. I feel foolish for not making the connection beforehand.

It serves to distract her for only a moment before she remembers Rebecca … but wait a sec James isn’t happy … about a certain rumour … THAT’S NOT TRUE!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

What’s more he directly spells out his interest in Rebecca plainly and clearly to Abigail– it is none. She and we have nothing to fear from her ever. Well romantically that is, we know that the attack upon Abigail that came from when Rebecca thought she had a chance means that Rebecca will be capable of worse now that she has been scorned.

Those are problems for the future, let us just revel in the attentions of James in the present.
But he’s talking about the future: what is she doing for Christmas; is she going to Hogsmeade. And every time Abigail, unwittingly, deflects him *sigh* She doesn’t realise that what he is doing is trying subtly (too subtle for her) to ascertain what she is doing so that he can be with her.

Finally after talk of family, Abigail almost by accident agrees to meet up with James in the holidays. All of his careful pointed questioning came to naught and then by a miracle Abigail brings it up and they will meet up.

A bit of flirting over the hot chocolate and then the eponymous ‘James is a loser’.

Well that chapter could have gone a lot worse – thank you very much, I say (write) sarcastically, for playing with my expectations and emotions so much!

Author's Response: Haha I see what you mean about being worried about the chapter title, I would have been too. :P

Oh no, Abigail doesn't really care for Quidditch, and Michelle would only end up ignoring her if she went along.

Haha I love getting distracted by new and shiny things! Oh yes! one of the smells is in there! Was it fourteen chapters ago? Wow! That is quite some time ago. Haha of course it's comics :P

WOOO! Definitely not what happened. It was just rumours!

Rebecca is capable of far worse and I wish that we won't see more of her, but sadly we shall do. But you're right, they are problems for future us! Present us is only basking in the present James! She doesn't realise at all, oh Abigail!

Haha yep, we find out why James is a loser.

I'm sorry I played with your expectations and emotions so much! But it is entertaining! :D


 Report Review

Review #24, by oldershouldknowbetter The One After The Quidditch Match

23rd January 2015:
Review#16: the review where disappointment reigns and it’s not over the Quidditch result.


Did I miss something? What fight? We left the last chapter with all the feels over James and having started it with Michelle being nice to Abigail. This fight has occurred somewhere between the chapters and has fallen through the cracks.
There is a very good reason why she was never made captain – you want a good leader in a team captain, not just one who is obsessed about the sport. Can you imagine the horrible sort of captain she would make?

Hunger makes her angry, so does the world.
Rebecca rears her ugly head once again trying to insinuate herself into James’ life.

Abigail outlines her reasoning for not telling James about Rebecca’s attack upon her person. It was as I suspected, she made the hard choice for all the right reasons.

Quote: ‘I didn’t want to see Rebecca flaunting herself all over him’

This is the wrong use of flaunting, but having said that, it conjures up the most delicious imagery in my mind and makes me wonder if you used the word on purpose for that dramatic effect.

Abigail goes and hides from her disappointment, but it soon seeks her out. Isabella keeps proving her worth as a true friend; first the hand holding at the game and now this.

What an awful happenstance. First James seemingly so chummy with Rebecca and now this reported kissing with her behind the stands. The reader can hope it isn’t so, but Abigail cannot afford to. She has to assume the worst because it is the only way she can deal with her dashed hopes and dreams – by cutting them off and cauterising the stumps. (What delightful imagery, but apt)

Author's Response: I think I've missed something as well? Haha I need to go back and have a look at what I've written in this chapter.

Oh yes, Michelle would make a terrible captain! an absolutely terrible one!

Haha what doesn't make Michelle angry?

Poor Abigail, she really doesn't want to see Rebecca all over James.

She needs to really start listening to Isabella, she's a much better friend for her over Michelle.

:( Oh James! Are you caught up in a rumour or is it true? Sadly assuming the worse is how Abigail will always think.

Thanks so much for the awesome review!


 Report Review

Review #25, by oldershouldknowbetter The One Where We Talk About The Future

23rd January 2015:
Review#15: the review which discusses the cheese driven, Inferi Apocalypse to be eventually defeated by James Bond.


On again, off again- once more the friendship is on again with Michelle and how happy is Abigail? All it takes is for her friend not to be nasty and she is over the moon.

They both want to eat cheese!

I said before I like how you have made James have his inner core of childishness still alive. It informs his whole character, or at least it does when he’s around Abigail. She allows him to let his guard down and be what he likes around her. He probably has to be ‘On’ when he’s around some of his other ‘normal’ friends.

Cheese led dreams ...

… Of Inferi and survival. The Inferi apocalypse as an excuse to get together, how teenage boy of him. Only the end of the world could drag out the admission of admiration? Desire? Love?

Ah the feels. I like how you have maintained the habit that I have seen before of James running his hand through his messy hair when he is embarrassed when he wants to hold her or hug her or whatever.

In a moment of distractedness she hugs him; just something she does/did with her brother. In this one little thing it is such an illumination of the relationship between the siblings – a subtle but effective piece of characterisation. I have such a clear mental image of the hug: his back to her; she instinctively hugs him to ward off his ire (even though it’s pretend); then her realising what she’s done and who she’s done it to; her eyes going wide as she soaks in the enormity of what she’s done.

James reciprocates with a rib-crushing hug of his own – that lifts her off her feet!

Then all the play fighting – such children – but it soon turns a bit too intense and James is about to say …

Arrgh! The untimely interruption – yet another staple of the thwarted romance to add to the list.

*sighs* oh well, that is it for this encounter/chapter there is no way that level of spontaneous intensity will be generated any time soon. What is this chapter fifteen? It will probably be chapter eighteen before anything this natural brings them together again. *sighs*

Let’s go back to a bit of the plot then with a bit more about the life of muggles and the introduction of James Bond. Of course James knows about Bond – the same name is an instant attraction of any young boy to a hero.

It leads in to the revelation of what both of them want to do once they leave the school. James’ choice is far more mature than we (and Abigail) would give him credit for. Yes it is couched in a young kids idolisation of superheroes (and probably some idolization of his father as well), but it isn’t just bumming around playing sports like a lot of other James’s in other stories seem to want to do.

And Abigail, she wants to get into comics; great something that James can understand and like, but it is in America and hence away from him.

He gets sad; she sees him getting sad; she gets sad herself realising that would separate them both probably forever. Yes, it is in the future. Yes, they are not together, but Abigail sums it up perfectly:

Quote: ‘I just couldn’t help but want nothing more than him to ask me to stay with him.’

Author's Response: I can't wait for the day that Abigail gets more confidence to tell Michelle where to go, it'll be so much easier for her. Poor dear.

James lets his inner child show a lot, especially around Abigail, he can't help but be himself around her. She does allow him to let his guard down. He doesn't have to pretend to be someone he's not around her.

Oh the cheese led dreams! Haha, this mainly came about because I couldn't stop dreaming of zombies for an entire week. An inferi apocalyse is definitely an excuse to get together, he's such a teenage boy!

Bless him being all cute with his hand running through his hair! :D He just wants to hug her all the time and it makes him embarassed.

I love that moment, that was my favourite to write between them, just Abigail' realistaion of what she's done and then James turning around to hug her ever so tightly.

He's the best at hugs and I really want one!

The James Bond reference is going to be a big part of the future of this story and the sequel called 'The Unspeakable'. Of course James wants to be a superhero :P

Thank you once again for being so awesome!! :D


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>