Reading Reviews for Spread Your Wings
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by maraudertimes Chapter 2.

30th August 2014:
I'm back! And yay, it's the date!

Okay, so, I really like the whole "getting lost in his eyes" thing. Unfortunately, I know the feeling (awks) and you've captured it seamlessly. But when boys have those baby blue eyes it's just so easy to zone out and not hear what they're saying... *sigh*

Anyways, I think it was really cool how Lorcan is kind of outgoing and if he and Annabelle strike up a relationship, it would be cute to see him get her to do more adventurous things. Already he seems to have gotten her to a place where she's more comfortable and a little bit more engaged in conversation.

Lily and Lysander are so cute, but I wonder how the long distance thing will affect them. Unless this story only pans out the rest of the summer, but still, I do hope they stay together and nothing bad happens! I hope I didn't just jinx that!

Also, Lorcan is really bad at this dating thing. Asking a girl if she's watching her weight? Big no-no, but I guess he does accept it and he didn't mean it meanly. :P

Overall, this was a really cute chapter - OH! and also, I love how Annabelle realizes she's pretty! Like dayum girl, you're best friend tells you you're gorgeous and you don't believe her until you put on a dress? Chick flick moment!

But yes, this chapter was really cute and I wish there was a third so it would continue on! Keep writing, yeah? Cuz this is such a cute story!
Lo :)

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Review #2, by maraudertimes Chapter 1.

30th August 2014:
Hiya! Here for the Gryffindor review exchange!

I think I read this a little while ago when there was only one chapter and never really reviewed, so when I started reading it again everything immediately clicked and I remembered something: I really liked this when I read it the first time.

Annabelle and her father seem really close and I love how you explained why. While the circumstances are sad, it's totally understandable and very realistic. The fact that she was able to tell her dad about the strange double date really demonstrated the relationship between them since I don't know too many girls who would tell their dad right away, and it's really sweet.

I love the homeschooled part about the Scamanders. I'm not sure if that's part of your fanon or actual canon but it really speak to the type of people Luna and Rolf are and really helps develop their characters even if they're only mentioned.

Ooooh, and the brother twist sounds fun! Hopefully Annabelle and Lysander's brother (I think his name is Lorcan?) will hit it off, or at least, the date will be super awkward and hilarious! But even so, I wonder if maybe one of Lily's older brothers might come into the mix (*cough cough* James), only because you introduced him as "Lily's incredibly attractive older brother". That would be funny!

Anyways, this was a really cute first chapter and I'm excited to read more! So, on to the next!
Lo :)

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Review #3, by monstrosity Chapter 1.

14th May 2014:
Hey review exchange partner! (I think I waved too wildly at the screen and now my family thinks I'm weirder than normal.)

Ah, I love these friendship stories. They're so fluffy and warm and never fail to make me smile. This one is certainly no exception. I like the sort of easy relationship that Lily and Annie have. I have personally never dropped anything to go to someone's aid as quickly as that, which makes me awe the sort of person Annie is.

What I have deduced about Annie so far is that she's too nice for her own good. Really, just agreeing to go on a date with a person you've never met before, taking into account her supposed lack of experience? She must really love her best friend :P Either that, or Lily must be very persuasive. I'm guessing it's a mixture of the two.

Some of the lines in here are just hilarious, especially the ones where Lily's begging Annie to join her. I like how the story flows with a steady ambling pace so that it's really simple to follow. It's something I would really love to read when I'm relaxing or just before bed (which, incidentally, is what I'm doing). It's not something like a detective story where my mind is just flooded with possibilities and yet this story does have it's own element of suspense. I can't wait to see how you've portrayed the twins and how the date is going to go!

I love the whole father daughter relationship Annie has, which seems to be much closer than usual, perhaps due to the absence of Annie's mother. I mean, I would never have the guts to tell my father that I'm supposed to be going on a date out of the blue with a person I don't know. Nor would he find it amusing. Yet, obviously Annie's father has a lot of trust and confidence in her, which only adds other elements to Annie's personality: she's trustworthy and practical.

Lily and Annie, while they are really close, seem to be almost opposites. Lily is infinitely more outgoing, headstrong and not so nervous. The combination of different personalities between her and Annie is a perfect blend. I know can see why the phrase opposites attract cropped up, even in the case of friendship.

The only sort of constructive criticism I could give you (trust me, I'm really bad at this bit) is to expand on the situation a little more. Things are a little bit too fleeting. When you mention James, go a little bit deeper into Annie's relationship with him. Does he usually creep up on the two of them. Has Annie embarrassed herself in front of Lily's family before? Granted it's the first paragraph and things can't be dragging, but perhaps just a smidgen more of detail.
It would also help if you added a little more description, just so that the reader can get a better mental image of the whole scene.

Overall, though, it's a lovely story to read. You've nailed conversation, which can be very tricky to do, and made it a witty lighthearted banter that really puts the readers in a good mood. Great job, hun!

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Review #4, by lindslo2012 Chapter 2.

12th May 2014:
Hey there! Here for your requested review!
I absolutely love this. It is so adorable and to the point. It makes me want to read more so if you are.. hurry up and update!!! :D
My favorite was Annie and Lorcan feeling so awkward. But it seems like maybe they will have some kind of chance down the road a bit, right? He seems to have quite alot in common with her. I didn't see any errors in your story and I enjoyed it very much.
I hate for Lily that her boyfriend is moving.. darn Luna might ruin her son's relationship. Well I can't wait to read more if you are updating!
Please come back and re-request!!!
Until next time,
-Lindsey

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Review #5, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Chapter 1.

10th May 2014:
Hi Amanda!

Please please please forgive how long this review has taken. I honestly just haven't managed to get around to any reviewing until now so I'm very sorry!

This was such a cute start to your story! I love the relationship you developed at the start... it's clear Annie and her dad are very close.

Lily's news was so great bless her! You did a great job of getting across the friendship between the two girls during this important moment in Lily's life. The excitement and nerves at having a first boyfriend was really well written so kudos to you.

My one bit of CC would be to be careful not to always give us information on everything. A lot of the time, you write your dialogue so well that you already imply something about one of your characters, so you don't need to tell us afterwards for example. I hope that makes sense anyway. It's only a minor thing anyway :)

Great start!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

That's okay, I know how busy you have been! :p

I'm glad you like it so far :) the relationships she has with her friends/family are really important so I'm glad I was able to get those across well.

And okay, I'll definitely look into that!

Thank you for reading and reviewing, Lauren!

-Amanda


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Review #6, by Lululuna Chapter 1.

13th March 2014:
Hello! :)

Aw, this was such an adorable start to your story! It feels very refreshing and original as well, and Annabelle and Lily are so adorable in their innocence. I really like Annie so far, she seems down to earth but also quite quirky and fun, and I'm curious to find out more about her family and what happened to her mother.

The suspense of who Lily's boyfriend is was quite exciting! I really had no idea who it was going to be, but then when his name was announced I had to giggle. I'm curious to see how the twins might be in this story. The feeling of youth they have is great, like how Luna only lets her sons go on a date if they're together. I wonder if perhaps Annie will like Lorcan better than she suspects...

The dynamic between Lily and Annie is great. I like how they're quite playful and teasing, especially when Annie was teasing Lily about dating a boy who is so close to the family. I also liked the detail about Lockhart and how he's still thought of as a beautiful and vain man all these years later. :P

This was a lovely start to your story, and I enjoyed it! :)

Blackout Round 3 - 20/20

Author's Response: Hi!

Aw, thank you! I'm glad you're interested in Annie! She's a pretty mysterious character and doesn't like to talk about herself much so hopefully she'll open up enough for everyone to know more about her! ;)

Haha you'll meet them soon enough! Annie is pretty nervous so I guess we'll have to see if she can get over that enough to have fun!

Yeah, Annie and Lily remind me a lot of me and my best friend :) I think teasing and being able to joke around together is definitely a big part of a friendship. Also, forgiveness and doing things for each other which is why Annie thinks she is such a push over... Maybe she's just a good friend? :P

anyways, thank you again for reading and reviewing! Your review definitely made me smile :)

-Amanda


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Review #7, by PolyJuice_ Chapter 1.

13th March 2014:
BLACKOUT BATTLE~ 20/20! (YES! LAST ONE! *wipes sweat off brow)

Aw! This was so cute! After spending most of the battle reviewing sad stories this was a refreshing change! Especially as this was as well written as it is! I loved the way you wrote these two girls. It almost made me feel like one of them, chattering away about their new boyfriends.

I can't wait until the next chapter. This is going to be a great story, and it'll be hilarious to see this date of Lily's, not to mention the blind date set up for Annie!

Homeschooled, eh? Interesting, I never thought about the boys being homeschooled, but when you say it, I guess it makes sense. Very Luna-like. makes me wonder what kind of education they're getting! Haha!

Anyway, great job!

Liz

Author's Response: Hey!

Thank you, I'm glad you like it so far! This is a pretty fluffy story, eh? I had been trying to write a darker story and realized I needed to write something a bit happier to get out of a small rut I was in and this is what came out of it! :)

Yep! I know Luna was very smart and liked her education, but I can't imagine her wanting to be learning all these new things in different countries without her boys :p I think it also makes them unique, too, as Luna no doubt would want them to be.

anyways, I'm glad you liked it! I hope you come back for more and I'm able to hear how you like the other chapters, as well :)

-Amanda


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Review #8, by lady_devil Chapter 1.

7th March 2014:
For the Blackout Bingo!

Hi! I just want to say this is just a great start to your story; you set the scene perfectly well.

This chapter was very entertaining, like watching an episode from a show and seeing teenagers behaving like normal teenagers. What you wrote was a perfect length for the first chapter. Sets the story going and the ending made me want to read the second chapter straight away! I hope you keep writing! I have already favourite it.

I've always liked next gen characters and the way you made James and Lily, loveable characters at first go! Love their little banter over James admiring himself in the mirror. The comment about Lockhart was funny! I defiantly liked the idea of Harry telling funny stories about Lockhart to his children.

Your OC Annabelle, I love her! I really do, even her name is adorable. She's just so down to earth to me - being forgiving and agreeing to go on the double date for Lily and writing to her father is just so sweet, can't wait to read more about her.

Hope you update with a new chapter soon!

Author's Response: hey!

thank you for this review, it really made me smile :) I'm so glad you like this story so far and I really hope you stick around!

I'm sure I'll be posting soon, so I hope to see you back :)

thanks again!

-Amanda


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Review #9, by Chazzie Chapter 1.

4th March 2014:
Hey there!
So far this is really funny and cute! The dialogue between the characters is realistic, and it fits in easily with the characters. I loved the Lockheart bit, that made me smile. One thing that I picked up on though, is that you could possibly try making it clear how the characters are feeling by how they do something, rather than just telling us that they are, for example, furious. But that's only a small suggestion, and I really loved it! Looking forward to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: aw thank you :) I've had a really rough day so getting a nice review like this definitely made me smile. I'll take a look into that, thank you for pointing that out!

again, thank you :)

-Amanda


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Review #10, by keyty Chapter 1.

1st March 2014:
Hi! Here with your requested review.

So far, I like your plot. Even though the chapter is short, you didn't fill it with too much information. It flows nicely and is upbeat without being too fast paced, and that's difficult to do, so kudos to you! (hey, that rhymed!)
I'm interested to see her mother's story, but that probably won't be revealed for a while. I can't wait to see how their date goes tomorrow, I bet it's going to be very funny! I'm also excited to see how you portray Luna's kids, that could be very interesting.

I only caught one error, at the very beginning:
“I really don’t know,” she told her him
Easy fix!

I think this story can be very cute and, if you let it be, emotional as well. Please come back to re-request, I can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: thank you! I'm glad you liked it :) yeah, I originally I had the first chapter much longer and having a lot more information but I thought i'd be a little to overwhelming and decided to split it up. Yes! You will find out a lot more information in the upcoming chapters!

Oh thank you for that! I'm always really bad at catching my own mistakes :p I'll make sure to fix that when I go back and edit it :)

thank you! I definitely will :)

-Amanda


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Review #11, by lindslo2012 Chapter 1.

24th February 2014:
Hi there!
Here for your requested review.
This is the first Lily fic I have read and so far I am very impressed and want to read more!
I can imagine Lily as such a cute little girl!
I am glad she has a friend like Annabelle, she seems nice.
I like it alot so far and I really enjoy that you are pretty clear what the story is about from the first chapter, usually I also write that way so I admire your intensity from the very beginning!
I am excited to read on to see how this double date goes! I can tell this story will be cute and addicting ;) no CC for you here, you did very well!
hope to see you again on my requested reviews so I can come back and read more!
Until next time,
-Lindsey
10/10

Author's Response: Aww thank you very much! That means a lot and I'm really glad you liked it! I will definitely request again when I post the next chapter! :)

-Amanda


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Review #12, by soufflegirl99 Chapter 1.

12th December 2013:
This is an absolutely awesome chapter! Really entertaining and funny to read, and I loved every word of it! :)

The character of Annabelle is brilliant -- this bubbly, happy girl that was a pleasure to read about! I loved the amount of little details you added in to the story to make her more three dimensional and believable -- like the fact she doesn't like flooing, e.t.c. Your description of her relationship with her Dad was lovely too, and it really helped set the scene and get an idea of who she is, and what she's like. The characterisation of Lily is awesome too! The way she foresaw that Annabelle was going to whack her, and her banter with James…James! The way you described him as knowing he was attractive, and being smug, made me laugh a lot! I especially loved the bit about him being vain and looking in the mirror! It was really inventive, and really funny to read! :D

I love a next gen fluff (I mean, who doesn't right?!) but I must say this one has such an original plot! I love the way you brought the Scamanders into it, and I especially loved the way that Annabelle is dating Lorcan to not make things awkward for Lily -- that's a really sweet thing to do! The not to her dad made me laugh a lot too! :P And i can't wait to see how the plot develops, because you've set up the foundations for such an original story! I can;t wait to see what happens next!

Overall, a captivating, very gripping and thoroughly awesome chapter with a great, realistic bunch of characters! :D :D

Author's Response: Oh my goodness you totally made my day, thank you so much for this review! :)

I'm really glad you liked the characters and the plot, it definitely just came randomly to me and I'm really in love with the idea of it!

haha oh yeah, next gen fluff is my favorite!
it gets me all gitty and I love how much freedom you have to write in it.

gah, I can't even explain how happy this review made me, you are so sweet! I have a month and a half off of school for winter break so I definitely think I'll be posting soon and finishing it :) I hope you continue to read!

-Amanda


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Review #13, by 800 words of heaven Chapter 1.

8th December 2013:
Hello!

This is a really good start! You've set up the premise for your story right off the bat, and introduced your main characters as well. Fantastic!

I loved reading Lily and Annie's friendship. The way you've written them, you can tell that they're super close. Their relationship reminded me of the way my friends and I acted at that age, which I think you've shown spot on. Their two teenage girls who get excited over boys and when cool things happen in each other's lives, and rope each other into crazy plans.

I do have one CC, though. I found the flow and pace of the chapter a little off. I liked the way you opened it, by jumping straight into the action, but then you kept on jumping from action to action, with very little room in between to breathe and get to know the characters. I think something that would help with that is a little more description. What you do have in terms of description is nice, so you obviously know how to write it, but just a little more of it would be nice, so we get a better sense of place and characters.

A nice start, though! It'll be interesting to see where you take this!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you for reviewing!

I'm glad you liked their friendship and were able to relate to them a little bit :) I always love when people can relate to characters that they read!

And oh thank you! I'm always looking for good ways to improve my stories so I'll definitely take your CC and use it :)

Thanks again for taking the time out to review! :)

-Amanda


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