Reading Reviews for Plagued By Ardor
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lululuna Magical Mistletoe

20th January 2014:
Review swap! :D (sorry this took so long!)

*dies at the cuteness*

Ah, I liked this a lot! :) I've never really read a Frangelina (just go with the name) story and this was really adorable. I thought you wrote the twins really well, especially with how they would consider "Percyness" to be the ultimate crime. That really made me laugh a lot. And then the way they finished each others' sentences was so sweet as well.

There was one thing I was confused about, and that was what year this takes place in! I don't think WWW products really existed until OoP (I could be wrong, but I think the brand was born after Harry gave them the moula from his tournament winnings), but then Oliver wouldn't have been captain after PoA because he graduated. So I was thinking, if you wanted to keep it set during PoA, you could offer up a quick explanation for how WWW already exists- maybe Fred could say "One of the products we had created after scrounging together our spare Sickles" or "Ang already knew all about the joke products George and I had been developing for the past few months in anticipation of the future shop we dreamed of" or whatever. :P

Fred's feeling for Angelina were really well written and sweet. I was fully rooting for them at the end and cheering George on for the mistletoe stunt and tricking Fred into admitting his feelings. I really liked as well how sceptical Fred was about his emotions, and how he was laughing at himself for sounding like a sap. I really loved how jealous he was about the idea of Lee checking her out, when of course he was checking her out as well!

I loved this! It had a perfect mix of fluff and humour, and you write from a boy's perspective really well and captured the essence of the twins so nicely. Good job! :D

Author's Response: No problem! I'm so sorry for the lateness of the response :/

Thank u so much! Hehe, I love the name! Me and my friends were actually talking about a ship name and this, is just perfect! :D Thank u so much!

Oh god! Thats some crazy stuff! Excuse my weird canon craziness. Thank you for letting me know! :D I'll definitely fix that up! :D

Thank u! Yay! You think that the perspective was written well! Let me tell you that it is TERRIFYING writing Fred! But, he's adorable! :)

Thank you for the super sweet review! :D Your ones are the best!

-Curie :D


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Review #2, by 800 words of heaven Magical Mistletoe

13th January 2014:
REVIEW TAG!

So obviously I'm slightly addicted to reading fluff today, so I came back for seconds :P

Aww! Fred was so sweet. I really liked how he was a little cocky and arrogant, but there was this underlying thread of vulnerability to him, which was especially evident by his inaction concerning Angelina. It was all very sweet and adorable.

I loved how you wrote Fred and George's dialogue. It sounded like it was the same person talking, which is often the way they talk, and as usual with these guys, the conversation was a little hard to follow. And I can totally imagine them accusing people of having the deadly disease of Percyness!

George and Lee are like the best wingmen ever. And Fred's jealousy of his friend was just awesome. And I did a little fist-pump when Fred said that ladies aren't possessions. You go Fred Weasley, four for you!

Fred stories, especially those that include pairings with Angelina, always make me a little sad, but I guess that's the way life goes. Do you perhaps have any plans for like a companion piece to this about George and Angelina? That would be super cool, and I'd love to read their relationship with all the history that she and Fred would have. If you don't, maybe I'll write a fanfic about your fanfic...

Author's Response: HI! YAYAY! I'm glad u did! :D :D That made my day, like five times!

Thank u! Fred, in my mind is sort of arrogant :)

Thank u! IT WAS TERRIFYING WRITING JK'S CREATION! So scary! :D Hehe, aren't they super cute? Haha, I know right! Feminism for the win! :D

I know right :/ So sad. But, I don't usually like looking into the future, so I loved writing this :) Do tell me when u do! :D

-Curie :)


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Review #3, by marauderfan Magical Mistletoe

10th January 2014:
This was such a cute one-shot :D :D

I loved the twins finishing each other's sentences like eight times over. And then Fred thinking his Percy-impression was better. The dialogue between the twins was really fun to read! I know you mentioned in your A/N that you were worried about them not being Fred-and-George-ish enough but you had no need to worry, they were just as silly and mischievous as in the books.

The Ginny-around-Harry Syndrome cracked me up too. I'm sure the twins wouldn't mention it to her face (cos she'd Bat-Bogey-Hex the living daylights out of them) but I'm positive they'd talk about that behind her back hehe. It's what siblings do :)

I love when Lee and George decide to help him and it makes Fred realise what his siblings have been going through for years whenever he and George insist on "helping" :D

Aw the end was so cute! Looks like those two scoundrels actually did help :p Well done, this was a really fun read, thanks!

(Hufflepuff 2014)

Author's Response: Thank u!

Thank u! I'm glad it was fun! That was the main point if the story and it would be totally disappointing if that didn't work! Thank u! That's a great compliment! I'm glad u found the syndrome funny as well!

Thank u! I'm glad u liked it! :D

-ReeBee


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Review #4, by Lady Asphodel Magical Mistletoe

30th December 2013:
What a really humorous one-shot you have here! I couldn't help but laugh at Fred and George's quirkiness, and their created diseases of Percyness and the Ginny-Around-Harry syndrome! :D Very creative and funny indeed. :P


I feel like though that with the one-liners were a bit of a throw-off... at least for me... :(

I couldn't tell who-was-who until I get to certain parts of you saying who said.

Maybe again it's just my slowness - I don't know. :/


But other than that, I enjoyed reading this!


From the review thread,


- Asphodel

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Percyness was the base of the whole idea but Harry around Ginny syndrome all just flowed from the start :)

Yeah, I have been told that. I'll fix it and add in their names during the next edit :)

Thank you so much!

-ReeBee


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Review #5, by Secret Santa Magical Mistletoe

25th December 2013:
I love a good bit of fluffiness from time to time, and this was some super lovely fluffiness.

I know I've said it before, but I really think you do a great job of establishing the "voice" of the character you are writing. Fred was great. I thought he seemed really in character to me. I especially liked his and George's bantering and the bit about Percy-ness.

I literally laughed out loud at the mention of "a serious case of the Ginny-Around-Harry Syndrome". Hilarious!

I don't really have much else to add. It was a great bit of sweet, funny, fluffy, holiday goodness :D I'll have to come back and bookmark it after Secret Santa is over. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much!!

Wow! I'm so honoured u think that! Wow! That's so sweet! I'm so glad that u think I've got characterisation down well! Thanks so much! That was something if planned from the start- Percyness!

But the others (eg Ginny around Harry syndrome) came as I typed it out :)

Thanks so much! :D so many compliments! :D



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Review #6, by SkyEcho Magical Mistletoe

23rd December 2013:
Hi Curie!

This was such a cute and funny story! I really enjoyed reading this - and I was definitely left wanting more :) Your characterizations of Fred and George were perfect. I loved the part where they were explaining what Percyness is! Your dialogue flowed really well and I thought the idea of the mistletoe was so creative. Wonderful story!

Happy Holidays!!

Author's Response: Hi Kristen!!

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! It completely took me by surprise and totally made my day! :D

Thank u so much! I was so scared when writing the twins- JK's creations and I so didn't want to stuff them up! Ah! Thank u! My first attempt at writing intended humour through words rather than actions! I'm so glad it worked out well! Thanks again!!

Happy holidays to u too!! :D


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Review #7, by magnifique11 Magical Mistletoe

12th December 2013:
Hey, it's JRose16 from over at the forums. :) Sorry it took me awhile to get to this, finals are killer! But this was not! This was a lovely change of pace, and I loved all the fluff! I think you wrote it really well, and I thought your characterization of the twins was completely on point. :) It just all made me smile and feel all gushy and happy inside. :DDD

-J

Author's Response: Aw! Thanks so much! That was super sweet!

I hope your finals are going alright! :)

Thanks again for the lovely review!

-ReeBee :)


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Review #8, by MrsKatieGrint Magical Mistletoe

10th December 2013:
Hey there!

Okay, this was seriously so cute! And for a lot of challenges, but this was great and I think these three challenges flowed wonderfully in your story!(:

I thought the dialogue was super funny and witty, and very Fred like. I absolutely adore the twins, and I think you did a great job characterizing them!

I lovelovelove the things Fred thinks. You have him down to a t, and he's just perfect. Lol, and I adored the mistletoe scene! I saw that this was also for that challenge, so I was glad that everything wasn't just about that scene.

The only thing I would suggest is msybe adding in more details. Trust me, when I say I understand your pain, because I know I get super excited to write something so I speed through scenes to get to the 'good stuff' but when you take the time to explain everything and make pretty pictures, it makes the 'good stuff' so much better!

All in all, I thought this was lovely, fluffy story, that went well with all the challenges, and mine.(:

Thank you for participating, and good luck!
Katie(:

Author's Response: Thanks so much Katie!! :D And, I can't wait for u to update your novel, so hurry!! :D

Too many compliments! But, thank u thank u thank u!!

I honestly was terrified at the idea of writing Fred! He's one of my favourite characters and I was scared f not doing him justice! I'm glad u found it funny! :D

Ah, yes, might have been a bit...ambitious with the challenges ;) But, I'm glad u think they flowed well :)

Yeah, I've got a few comments on the description- I went back and edited it yesterday :) So, hopefully that version will be out soon :)

Thank u! Thank u for making the challenge! I loved it! And my quote *squeee* So super sweet!!!

Anyway, please update your novel and thank u for the many compliments!!

-ReeBee :)


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Review #9, by Rumpelstiltskin Magical Mistletoe

10th December 2013:
Curry (I'm not going to stop calling you that...you can't make me)! ;p.

I am stopping by to read this as a thank you (and because it looked interesting and promised fluffiness).

Percyness? :D

Honestly, I was laughing through most of this.

So, what I really loved about this was that it was from Fred's perspective. It's really interesting to read one of the twins' point of view. I think that you did an awesome job at capturing the twin-ness. That especially goes for the explanation and symptoms of Percyness, where they were taking turns speaking :).

Oh, and the mistletoe scene was sweet and fluffy. I loved it.

The last line was perfect.

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Well, Rumpel, I don't mind! :) As long as I can call u Rumpel!

Oh Rumpel, thats super sweet! U really didn't have to! But, thank u anyway :)

Gah! Thank u so much!!! I was so scared of putting down 'humour' as a genre, because, I didn't want the humour to be try hard! But, thank u for the reassurance! :) And, oh my god! I was dying when I realised that this story would be best from Fred's POV, I was so so scared that I wouldn't be able to make it realistic!!

And Percyness, I hoped for it to be funny, but, I was scared (again) that it was going to be wannabe-ish! Thanks so much, u completely erased me of all that fear!

Thank u for all the compliments!! U are way too nice to me!

I want to thank u for the awesome title! I love the way how it sounds kind of vintage- contrasting perfectly with the hopefully, humorous atmosphere of the story! Its super perfect! I guess, now u realise why I wanted some disease reference in the title ;)

Thanks so much, Rumpel!! :D

-Curry :)


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Review #10, by Free Elf Magical Mistletoe

9th December 2013:
A very light hearted and sweet story about one of my favourite characters. You made a great choice in telling the story from Fred's perspective, as it provided a humorous take that we probably wouldn't have gotten with Angelina. The dynamic present between Fred, George and Lee was well written, highly believable, and enjoyable to read. If I had any criticism it would just be to proof read as there are one or two typos. Otherwise, fantastic story!

Author's Response: Pri! U didn't have to review! Being an awesome beta was fine! But, thanks so much! :D

And I'm glad u found it funny, I was scared of listing 'humour' and not having it be humorous :) Typos will be the death of me someday...

Why do u always sound so serious in this review? What happened to 'Bow chicka wow wow'?? Serious doesn't suit your personality!

-Curio ;)


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Review #11, by iWrite Magical Mistletoe

9th December 2013:
I could HEAR their voices in my head as I was reading. You did an amazing job with them!
Having them finishing each other's sentences made me laugh. The conversation really flowed between the characters, and was very fun to read!
Thank you for posting! It really is lovely!
-iWrite

Author's Response: iWrite!!! Thank u thank u thank u!!

I don't even know what to say! I'm glad the characters were believable! :D And, I can't believe people are thanking me for posting a story! Really the best moment of my writing... (i really can't say career) i guess I will go with hobby :)

-ReeBee :)


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Review #12, by BLONDEbehaviour Magical Mistletoe

8th December 2013:
Heya ReeBee!

This was interesting! I always like a good Weasley Twins fic!

I think you did well in including all three stories into this oneshot, and it still made sense and worked well. I think you did a good job in making it eventful and entertaining. I liked the whole Christmas theme of it!

When it comes to the Weasley Twins characterization, I think you did well, especially with them finishing each others sentences and teasing between them. The idea of the kissing mistletoe is fantastic!! That was such a great idea.

The only CC I have is maybe a little more setting description? Not much, just little bits here and there to give some more information on where it is. I did see a few typos, but like one or two, so I wouldn't fret too much!

I really did enjoy this! Bit different, and lots of fun! My heart secretly broke at this sentence "Oh poor Georgie, might have to bury me sooner that I thought..."

Very nice! Thank you for a great review swap!

Grace :D

Author's Response: Grace! Thank u thank u thank u!! :D

I wasn't sure about my incorporation of the three challenges...but thank u so much- that just relieved me of all my worries :)

And the christmas theme- I'm glad u think so, the last thing I wanted was the christmas theme to not be evident. I had tp go back and add in the thing that Katie (or was it Alicia, can't remember) says about Wood, trainings and christmas. It was unrecognisable as a christmas themed story until the end before that edit!

Yeah- I'm going to go back and edit asap :) I just got it back from that MIA friend I was telling u about :)

Yeah- i didn't notice that sentence until I went back and read it, I originally didn't mean for it to have a double meaning, but, it just came...

I have to say the same! The creepy story was awesome!! :D

-ReeBee :)


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Review #13, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Magical Mistletoe

7th December 2013:
Hey there!

I'm Laurenzo7321 from the forums, here for the review swap.

Oh, this was such a cute little one shot. When George and Lee were looking all mischievous at the beginning I must admit, I couldn't help but wonder if they were trying to get something out of him. It was fun to read and a very Weasley twin way of doing things.

In your authors note you say that your concerned with if you managed to make Fred and George realistic. Well, personally I thought you did a good job with them. They certainly had a good flow about them, their speech was funny and I like that you broke the sentences down, giving each twin a bit to say; pretty much exactly as we would expect them to be written in the books.

In terms of CC I would say maybe take a look at the bits in between the speech. I feel you haven't always used the correct person and it throws us as the reader off a little. So, for the very first sentence for example you're writing in first person, yet you say 'The less awesome twin, George, exclaimed.' When I first read this it wasn't until the next bit I realised you were writing in first person. So, you could change it to something like: 'My less than awesome twin, George, exclaimed.' or 'My not-quite-as-awesome-as-me twin, George, exclaimed.' for example. Obviously these are just ideas and if you like it the way it is that's fine. It's just personally what would make reading the story easier for me.

I loved the idea of the mistletoe! That is such a Weasley product and I would definitely love to see it used much more! And it meant that we got a lovely happy ending to put a huge smile on our faces. I'm going to be honest, Fred Weasley is one of my fav characters in the HP series (as my penname suggests) and I loved reading this one shot about him!

Good job on a great one-shot! I'm really glad we review swapped!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

Thank u so much for all the compliments!! :D Yeah, the reality was the characters was a big concern of mine, because, if u haven't figured it out yet, I am female and I don't have much interaction with the male species (blame- all girls school). So, I have no idea how they talk, think, etc. My only sources were the HP books and movies- so, I'm glad that was ok :)

I will do that straight away- I just got it back from my beta and I need to edit anyway :) Yeah- I've never written in 3rd person but read in 3rd person quite a lot, so I guess that might be seeping in to my story :)

Thank u so much! The mistletoe...well I've always had that idea of Magical mistletoe in my head for quite a while, but I wasn't sure if I could make it believable. But, this story needed some sort of catalyst- so that idea just popped up- courtesy of Kelsi's mistletoe challenge :)

Thanks again for a fantabulous review! :D

-ReeBee :)


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Review #14, by patronus_charm Magical Mistletoe

7th December 2013:
Here with your challenge review!

I thought you wrote the banter between Fred, George and Lee really well and it had me chuckling all the way through. I think it was due to the lack of dialogue tags and description in them because it really gave the image of their quick sparring with one another and aiming to get the next before the other did and that had me chuckling away a lot.

I have a feeling Lee may have been a little mean with the way he tricked Fred into revealing how he felt. Then again, these guys are into tricks so it was nice to see that side of their personality come into display there. It does raise the interesting question over whether Lee or possibly George liked her at that time too, and I would like to know when George did start liking her given that they later married.

All those small hints with the way Angelina said goodnight to him and the way they kept on talking was really great. It was the perfect amount of fluff without it getting too sickening which is always a hard line to toe. The final kiss was really great, and I liked the spin of the mistletoe belonging to the Weasley twins because it makes me wonder whether it had been there or along for that very purpose. I guess with those two we will never really know. :P

One small suggestion, is perhaps reviewing your dialogue punctuation. There were several errors throughout this one-shot, which can be easily fixed. I would recommend looking at the tutorials on the forums as they really are a big help when it comes to grammar like this.

Other than that, thanks for writing such a fluffy one-shot, it was very cute!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Thanks so much for this sweet and honest review! :)

Banter and dialogue with lack of description- I hope thats a good thing :)

And Lee, well I guess thats how u look at things, I can see how u might think that's mean, it may come across that way. Yeah! I've wondered about that a lot too! To me, in my idealistic way of looking at things, I think that Ang only married George because he reminds her of Fred. Or, u may be right- he might have always liked Ang but gave up on her because of Fred liking her. Fred was always a stronger personality than George.

I usually write romance- so that aspect came naturally :) I just hope it was believable; I've never thought of anyone with that much liking, actually, I don't know anyone who's thought of anyone else that way...

Ah...grammar...my best friend... (note sarcasm). I will go look at those immediately :)

Thank u for your awesome challenge! And the super awesome review! I loved the honesty behind it!

-ReeBee :)


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Review #15, by SilverRoses Magical Mistletoe

7th December 2013:
Hi!

Okay, I am totally blown away. I absolutely adore your characterization of Fred and George, and your inclusion of Lee. George and Lee teaming up on him was brilliant. I honestly don't know if I have ever read more accurate portrayals of them. The way it started out was fantastic, with Fred and George making up some random disease. I loved it!

The way Fred thought about Ang was also awesomely written. I just...can't even.

And I love this line:
"imagining the guys who dated her burst into flames... He couldn't possibly! That was my job!"

And the random things he notices, like "the hotness of her smirk," I could totally see Fred Weasley being like that.

Seeing as my challenge was a MISTLETOE challenge:

I liked how this wasn't just a mistletoe scene and done, you have this whole scene leading up to it. Both of their reactions were great, and it was cute how Ang was about to ask him out and he cuts her off and asks her out :D I have no complaints. I loved it!

Gosh, 10/10 for sure!

Happy Holidays! Thanks for participating in my challenge!
-Kelsi

Author's Response: Oh my god, Kelsi!! So sweet!

I don't even know what to say... Your review has left me speechless! I have read it a thousand times already!!!

Thank u so much! Like I said in the PM- these couldn't be doing anything to my modesty... So I should really be 'tut'ing u... ;) But alas, I'm not! :D

Thank u!! :D

And I must say thanks for creating this challenge! I've always wanted to write about mistletoe, but, I've always been procrastinating :) So, thanks so much for creating this challenge! :D

Happy holidays to you too!!

-ReeBee


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