Reading Reviews for A Glimpse of the Moon
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by katwithlove .

11th June 2015:
Hi there! I'm here for the HC 2015 Amazing Race Challenge, for Gryffindor.

I really loved the way this one-shot really just jumped right into the action with such intense word choices. It captured my attention right away and the fact that it was so intense and you started Remus off at ten years old makes it even more interesting. You've hooked me.

The interactions you have between Remus and James are amazing, and the fact you still have them alive with Harry is great. Your dialogue is extremely engaging and I love the fact that Harry is such a little rascal in this at least. James really seems to have his hands full with him.

You're extremely good at describing Remus's changing and how he goes from being a man to a werewolf. We don't get to see a lot of that in some other stories, you make it extremely realistic though (For what we would have thought he was going through).

This was my favourite line of description
"Fingers turned clawlike, legs became elongated, and his back arched into a hunch, sending ripples of snaps through his spine. He grunted, giving out huffs through his nose. He couldnít keep it in any longer and let out a loud roar of pain."

Amelia was so sweet and her interactions with Remus were super heart warming. You can pretty much feel the sadness that's radiating off of him and a friendly face is just what he needed. Also the bit of humor you had with here going so you could be a werewolf is very refreshing. Combined with her hands up in a paw like motion and being a Muggle, it broke the tension from the whole one-shot.

There were a few mistakes a long the way that I noticed, but it's really nothing big. It seems you left out the I in "Do you mind if I sit here?" I think it might also help to vary the lengths of some of your sentences, and be a bit more descriptive of sounds, smells, and things along that line but you're really doing well.

James and Remus both seem very in character, especially with how their relationship is and Remus seems very shy and unsure of himself which he was.

Other then a little thing like that It was a lovely read and I'll definitely be putting this on my favourites and I'd love to see more of what happens to Remus, even though this is in fact a one shot :)

Keep writing!
xoxox
K

 Report Review

Review #2, by MissesWeasley123 .

2nd January 2014:
Hello! I'm here for day 7 of the 12 Days of Reviewing.

This one shot was too cute. I really loved it. Plus the awesome banner is awesome so, like, yeah. This was really adorable.

One of the people I loved in this was James. He was hilarious, especially his attempt at parenting. Harry putting things into his mouth was the most cutest touch ever. Great work on that.

Remus is such a complex character. He has so much pain inside of him but he manages to be so kind all the time. It's brilliant. You wrote him so nicely. He is just too kind. The interaction with the Muggle girl was brilliantly done too. It was cute, and especially the mention of the werewolf. What a brilliant note to leave it at.

You had some pretty awesome descriptions, and it was lovely. The scenes you managed to create were vivid, and beautifully done. Great work, I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Great work!
- Nadia :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Aha thank you! Yeah, I made that banner . . .

I just tried picturing James as a dad and although he cares a lot, he is pretty reckless. He would be such an amusing dad .

Yeah, I feel like there is so much more to Remus than we see in the books. Also the fact that we never see he point of view on the transformations is what made me initially want to write this.

Thank you so much for this review and I'm glad you enjoyed it. Have fun with the last four days of reviewing!

- Sankavi ^_^


 Report Review

Review #3, by BookDinosaur .

2nd January 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Seventh of the Twelve Days of Reviewing. :)

I really enjoyed reading this little oneshot. You really managed to paint your characters really well with this, and I really empathised with Remus here, feeling like he doesn't want to intrue on his friends' Christmas but at the same time feeling so alone and sad. :( Poor Remus.

And Amelia was equally good, we didn't see much of her, but she's friendly and bold and I already like her. I would love to read some more about her, she seems like a really interesting character already, and you know your writing is good when I want to read more after this really short oneshot. The story was really sweet as well, I really liked the idea that maybe Remus could become friends with a Muggle girl.

I love how you wrote about him turning into a werewolf, especially that first time when he was only ten, it was so heartbreaking to read about! It just sent shivers up my spine, how he had to endure all that pain because of one stupid werewolf. Being a werewolf must be so painful, and it's not any better that society will treat them so badly. :(

My only CC for you, I think, would be that the ending drops off a little suddenly, like they're getting to know each other and then bam! the story ends and I'm left here going but waht happens next?

You did an absolutely fantastic job with this oneshot, I really enjoyed reading it and I'm glad I had the chance to read it!

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for stopping by!

Characterization was my biggest goal here because there isn't really something you would call a plot here. So it is great you thought the characters well done!

I know, Remus is so alone :( He seems like someone who just doesn't want to get in the way. And also the fact that he feels he'd be getting in the way just kills me.

I loved writing Amelia! I'm writing another one shot that is from her point of view and you get to learn more about her and you'll see more interaction between her and Remus.

I had actually planned he whole thing to be dark like the little snippets but the fluff took over haha! As for the ending I think I will edit it a bit to that it is not so abrupt :)

Thank you so much for dropping by and have with the last four days of reviewing!

- Sankavi ^_^


 Report Review

Review #4, by SereneChaos .

19th December 2013:
How sweet! In few words, you've managed to paint some very clear pictures of your characters, which is a wonderful skill to have! Good job, especially for a first fic! My only real criticism is that the ending cuts away very quickly. It's almost as if you were saying something and then decided to stop mid-sentence. While that can be an interesting way to end stories, this particular story is so short that an abrupt ending can really leave you reeling. I would love to read a little more of the interaction between Remus and Amelia, or to see some of the reasoning behind the werewolf flashbacks in the story.

Otherwise though, you have such lovely crisp writing, and I hope to read some more of your stories!

Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much!!! My main goal in this was establishing the characters, so that's great :)

Yeah, I wasn't so sure if that ending was cut off too quickly or not, but now i may edit it a bit!

Thank you so much for this review, it really means a lot !!

-Sankavi ^_^


 Report Review

Review #5, by 800 words of heaven .

8th December 2013:
Aww! So adorable!

I'm a bit of a sucker for Remus fics, especially ones that aren't completely depressing. This has left me with some mega bittersweet feelings.

I love the way you wrote about his transformations. The one right at the beginning when he was ten was especially heartwrenching. Both of them however left me with the feeling that being a werewolf was a lonely business indeed!

What is a coffee shop doing open on Christmas? I'd love to get to know Amelia a little better - she seems like someone who would have a story to tell of her own. Starting with how she owns a coffee shop at such a young age, and why she was keeping it open on Christmas.

I loved the interaction between Remus and Amelia. Her speech reminded me a lot of Tonks, and I love how cleverly truthful Remus was - all his answers were so politically correct! I had a bit of a giggle at them!

This was an incredibly enjoyable read!

Author's Response: Thank you :3 This was actually supposed to be completely dark, like the little dark snippets but i just couldn't do it haha >.<

I miiight have another little one-shot about Amelia in the works . . . but i'm not promising anything ;)

Thank you so much for this review! You're too sweet :')

-Sankavi ^_^


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login