Reading Reviews for Play the Devil
  
82 Reviews Found

Review #1, by GingeredTea Richard

1st October 2014:
First off, I know it has nothing to do with you, but that chapter image is awesome. :)

From the very opening of this chapter, I could sense the portrayal of a man trying to distract himself with a simple morning routine. You managed to do this so subtly and so well that while it was an immediate 'sense' I had, the thought did not exactly cross my mind so bluntly until he admits to himself in the story that he is trying not to think of Rose.

Then you begin this sentence: "Agnes had let him be the highwayman". This especially long one stands out clear as a run on thought of the character and does so perfectly!

"Richard liked to internally boast of his denial of fate." Generally I find when someone has to internally boast anything, it's because they're trying to convince themselves.

Somehow, Richard's old world speech/thought patterns and actions brings a new level of humor to his awkward interactions with Rose. I found myself laughing quite a few times!

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Review #2, by Penelope Inkwell Puzzle

20th September 2014:
Poor Rose. Iíd have trouble with the horse, too. I can ride well enough to get by, but I cannot even begin to imagine how one manages a side-saddle! Iíd be at a total loss. And falling off is the worst. Although at least she got to cozy up to Richard ; )

I hadnít even thought about the hair issue. It would definitely bother me at first, like, ick. But now that I think about it, once I got used to it, it would probably be nice not to have that to worry about. Shaving my legs takes forever, and it is a pretty random beauty standards. Now that you make me think about it, itís obvious that, throughout much of time and in many parts of the world, no one would have cared.

ďIím too busy for such vanityĒ (core phrase for Iím not getting any action, let the beast roam free
--Itís funny because itís true.

Magical smithery sounds awesome! I love that youíve thought about what other classes might have been offered, way back when. So thorough!

"Everyone seemed to name their children after each other and marry their second cousins, and it was quite exhausting.Ē
--Bahaha. European history in a nutshell.

Iíve enjoyed Nicholas, and it was nice that Rose got to meet a fellow magical person. However, Iím hoping that now that most of the other guests have vamoosed, Rose & Richard will really get to know each other.

---
CC:

"I had been here long enough and heard enough about womenís rights (or lack thereof) in the past to truly blame Nicholas for his condescending words, yet they still stung. ď

I think here, you mean, ďI had been here long enough and heard enough about womenís rights (or lack thereof) in the past that I didnít truly blame Nicholas...Ē

I think you mean that sheís gotten too used to it to blame him, but the wording now makes it seem like sheís heard so much that sheís sick of it.

Another great chapter! Hope youíre well!

--Penny

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Review #3, by patronus_charm Puzzle

25th August 2014:
Yay a new chapter! :D

Yay they found her and double yay for Richard! He was so sweet and attentive and yeah I just loved him and want to marry him so back away Rose. When Richard got onto Apollo with her and wrapped his arms around her it was so sweet and there were so many squeals and it was so perfect. You really wrote that so well and I am shipping this ship way too much!

Ooh and they talked! I really wonder the castle in the sky is, I have a feeling Richard might turn out either to be magical or a person who hates magic and burns witches so I wonder if this is a sign for one of those things. Or I could be completely wrong so ignore the ramblings if thatís the case.

I really liked the section with Ellyn as it was strange to see how attached Rose had become to the historical world and how she really couldnít leave it. The mentions about missing modern beauty products was very apt and I could see why Rose would be suffering from the lack of it. I canít wait to see where this leads though because we do know that she does go back to the future at some point and then back to the past again so I wonder how she ends up doing it.

Nicholas is interesting and I really liked learning about Hogwarts in that time period. I have a feeling he is the one to watch though and that he could be up to something. Iím not sure what but Iím sure he is, or maybe Iím just suspicious of everyone and thing in this story :P

A great chapter :D

-Kiana

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Review #4, by marauderfan Puzzle

25th August 2014:
Gah I just love the irony of her thinking about how scary ghosts are with the exception of a few including Nearly Headless Nick, and then Sir Nicholas himself shows up in person. You are having way too much fun setting up things like this :D I'm super excited for Rose to make the connection - she has to sooner or later!

To be fair, she had raised a son who would gallop off leaving an amateur rider on a mischievous horse. Perhaps she deserved the ruining of an old dress. -- hahaha, brilliant.

I liked the scene with Rose and Richard on the horse headed back to the castle! Haha, sending Nicholas away was definitely planned.

Like Rose, I too am really interested in whether time will have passed, or whether she'll return to the same moment, or whether she'll show up in a different time entirely. Who knows with time travel!

I kind of love her discussion with Sir Nicholas about feminism and how Victoire would totally not stand for the lower status of women in the middle ages. Although she might be more chill than Rose is about the not being able to shave her legs! :P

If only he had left some of his fine aura wandering the halls of Hogwarts to teach the loutish boys there how to properly treat a woman. -- Ha. Too much! This is great, seriously. Come on Rose! The hints are all there! XD

Awesome chapter! (Sorry about the excess of exclamation points in this review, I just ate way too many gummy bears!)

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Review #5, by nott theodore Puzzle

10th August 2014:
Hi Jenna!

Yay, I'm so glad that I'm caught up on this story now because I can be part of the race again to try and get the first review on this chapter!

Okay, I'm really glad that Rose seems to be okay with her ankle and that she's not too badly injured, it seems. I thought you did a great job of describing her panic though, when she was left alone and couldn't do anything but wait for Richard and Sir Nicholas to come back and find her. I think something like that would have really shocked her a bit, into realising the magnitude of the situation that she's stuck in. So far she seems to be coping rather well with the fact that she's trapped, essentially, in the past without any way of getting back because she hasn't got the potion. But I think it's hard to keep it together all the time and even though she's got reasons to enjoy being here, it's nice to see that she's not completely calm about it all the time!

It was lovely to see some more Richard and Rose time! It made me laugh to see the way that he ordered Nicholas out of the way with a bit of a pointless task, because really he just wanted to get Rose to himself for a bit. And I loved their conversation too, and the way that Richard started relaxing and feeling more comfortable around Rose during the ride back to the castle too. He definitely is cool and measured, like they say later in the chapter, but I have a feeling that it won't be too long before Rose is able to start breaking him out of that shell. At least she's got his promise to explain the wars that are going on, as well as the fact that he finally started calling her Rose!

One of my favourite things about this story is the way that there's no romanticising of the past. Rose dwells quite a bit on the differences between the present day and the period she's now in and I think it's great to show all the major differences and the smaller ones too. There's really so much that we take for granted in the present day and reading a story like this is highlighting it. I feel extremely sorry for Rose and her hairy leg predicament - I think that should be one of the first spells she looks up when she returns to the present day so that she's more prepared for when she returns to the past!

Another thing I have to comment on is the brilliant way that you've created Rose's voice in this story. I know we're quite far in so it might be a bit late to comment on it, but it really rings through in every single thing that she thinks, and the way that she thinks about other people too. I haven't seen her doing anything that's out of character really, or that doesn't make sense. And I love reading all of this story from her perspective, because it's so entertaining and interesting. For a character that's written quite a lot in fanfiction, I really think you've done a great job in making her seem not only vivid and believable, but also original. It's just one of the reasons why I love reading this story so much!

The friendship between Rose and Nicholas is great! I still kind of can't believe that Rose hasn't worked out that he's going to become Nearly Headless Nick yet, but at the same time it does kind of fit with the way that Rose says she's never paid much attention to history. When I think of that fitting in with her earlier comments about the ghosts, too, it's hilarious - clearly Nick remembers Rose and realises that she's the girl who appeared in his youth while she's still at Hogwarts, which is why he's so warm towards her. But I'm intrigued about what he might have learnt about her during the rest of his lifetime and her visits, because he could have known quite a bit about her future while she was still at school, so it's interesting to think all that he hasn't told her!

I thought it was really interesting to read about all the magical history that you'd created for this period as well. I know that witch burnings and trials were starting to become even more of a threat, and almost anything could be misconstrued, so it was really interesting to read about the way that the witches and wizards going to Hogwarts were taught from a really young age to hide their magic. The lessons sounded great as well, and I love the idea of them being tailored to different students as well as more appropriate for the time! It's just fascinating to see your interpretation of the system that they were using at that point in time and I really enjoyed reading about that.

Go Rose, for calling Nicholas out on being misogynistic! I know that he doesn't mean to be, and that a lot of them probably didn't mean to be so sexist in this time, but the way that society was constructed gave women very poor roles and positions in society. I'm not going to rant about it, even though I easily could, but I think it's great to show those differences here. It would be extremely difficult for a woman who's alive today to go back and endure all of that attitude, only being complimented as far as her looks are concerned and being dismissed in other ways. I don't blame Rose for struggling with it!

Those last lines about someone like Nick walking the halls of Hogwarts and improving the attitudes towards women was brilliant, it made me smile so much!

I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, but I hope that Richard starts to warm towards Rose soon and stops being quite so cold - especially when it's just them in the castle and the guests have all left. But I also have a suspicion that Scorpius might turn up soon and that could ruin things completely... Anyway, I'm going to end this review now because I only have 300 characters left, but this was brilliant as usual!

Sian :)

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Review #6, by nott theodore A Proposal and a Tumble

3rd August 2014:
Hi Jenna! Ah, I'm so excited because now I'm finally up to date with one of your stories! (I just have like thirty other chapters of different ones to read and then we'll be fine :P)

The change at the beginning of this chapter from Rose's point of view to Richard's was really interesting, because it's great to get to learn more about him at the same time as the other characters, especially as he's trying his best to keep his distance from her at the moment. It was great that you showed the way he had to work so much harder than his brothers to be strong and brave and because of that he already had insecurities, so he wasn't really suited to being a prince or a brother of the king (and maybe not the king himself, as he'll be eventually). But it was great to see all of that as it applied to Rose and how he felt about her. It's really nice to see the way that the two of them are thinking about each other as well, and how that's changing gradually even though they've not actually spent that much time together. Rose is starting to question how she should feel about Richard because she knows that in both of their futures they'll be a lot closer, but she's struggling to work out how that'll happen, and at the same time Richard is seeing Rose first as the faerie lady from his childhood, and now as an alluring young woman who's full of faults and flaws but who he's attracted to nonetheless.

It was so cute of Richard when he was trying to work out if there were any ways that he could get closer to her and talk to her again! Normally you'd think that someone with so much power would be used to doing whatever he wanted to get his own way but he's very conscious of being seen to do the right thing, even though he wants to speak to her. It was so cute to see him sweating and nervous when he'd made up his mind to talk to Rose after the dinner!

Haha, Annie Lovell is quite the character, isn't she? She kind of made me laugh in this chapter and I can see why she and Rose got on quite well, in spite of the darker side that's there, because with her confidence she wouldn't seem out of place in the 21st century! I was a bit surprised by the way that she propositioned Richard so boldly though, especially since he's a prince, but at the same time I was really relieved to see Richard rejecting her and not letting anything happen between them - it was good to find out what happened when she followed him the other night, too! I also liked finding out more about the history and background between Francis and Annie getting married, with the age gap and things. It was really interesting to see Richard thinking of the way that Francis had preferred 'little Anne Neville' when he himself will marry her eventually!

The second part with the switch to Rose's point of view was great again (not that your writing is ever anything but) and I liked the way that she observed something about the way that Richard behaved with Annie Lovell without knowing the reason why. It was great to see the way that she and Sir Nicholas are getting on though, and that she's got someone to talk about Hogwarts with (the idea of a Weasley teaching potions is absolutely hilarious for some reason). It's interesting that she hasn't told him yet about the fact she's come from the future but I think that might be a bit much to confide in him - she doesn't seem to have made the connection that he'll become Nearly Headless Nick either, and the comment about her having his head was so well placed and just perfect.

Ah, I thought the fact that you described the difficulties she was having with the ride was great and I loved reading about the way the two men were acting in comparison to her. Richard definitely suggested that so that they could all do something together though! And oh dear, poor Rose - falling off her horse isn't great in any circumstances and I don't think that healthcare is going to be great for her in the fifteenth century. I'm wondering what's going to happen next - will Richard come back and save her, or is she going to run into someone else? Scorpius maybe?

This was a fantastic chapter and I'm so excited that I'm finally caught up with this story, so now I can say I'm looking forward to the update soon! (Update this instead of your other stories and then I might have a chance of catching up :P)

Sian :)

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Review #7, by nott theodore The Joust

3rd August 2014:
Hi Jenna!

Okay, so just before I go into my normal gushing and rambling, I did spot one typo here right at the end of the chapter, when you write 'Sir Nicolas' instead of Nicholas, but that's just something tiny.

The first section was really interesting! I wasn't expecting to see part of the story written from the present day when we've been experiencing so much of the past because that's where Rose is, but it makes sense since we got to see things from Richard's point of view when Rose was still in the present (I'm confusing myself with all the different times now, oh dear). I loved getting the chance to learn some more about Scorpius and have an insight into the way that he thought and felt at the beginning of this chapter, because obviously Rose is still angry with him and we're not going to get an impartial view of their relationship from her. It makes a lot of sense to think that being with Rose reminded Scorpius of how inferior he felt, and I liked the fact he acknowledged that but still wanted to be with her and get the chance to apologise for what he'd done to her. I think it put a slightly different spin on what he'd done which was nice, but also not great as I don't feel like he's so horrible now :P But then the way you ended that section is slightly terrifying! It sounds like Rose left the time travel potion back in the present day when she apparated into the past so I'm not sure how she's going to get home unless Scorpius takes the potion and then travels back in time to give it to her. Then she'd have to take them both back to the present as quickly as possible because I can't imagine what it would be like for Scorpius to discover what she's been doing and also meet Richard!

It's great that you're still including lots of details about the differences between the two worlds of the past and present so that we remember it's not all easy for Rose and there are some really practical difficulties that she has to face when she spends so much time in the past. No wonder she's feeling so ill, really, if she can't drink water because it's unsafe and everything else has alcohol in it!

I loved the way that you introduced the joust in this chapter and all the excitement that was in it! I think that if Rose had been used to Quidditch as well, then watching something else that's really competitive like jousting would be something she'd find interesting and exciting when she got to see it. I also thought it was really clever to have Sir William sat with the two ladies, explaining what's happening to them so that we got a better picture of the way that the joust worked and the sort of excitement it created. The part with the favours was really interesting too, as I was wondering how Rose would do it if she was asked for one - she could hardly conjure up something in front of all those people! (Although I'll admit, I was secretly hoping that Richard would ask her, but of course he behaves far too properly for something like that at the moment.) The ribbon was great as a substitute and it's brilliant to see Rose's character developing through this as she thinks how to behave properly but still stays true to herself to some extent.

Ah, the end was great! I was wondering if Sir Nicholas would realise that she was magical at some point, and I was right about the cards, yay! That part was really great and I loved the idea that Rose might now have an ally when it comes to learning to behave as well - I don't think someone like Nicholas will be quite as incredulous if she says that she's from the future as a Muggle would be! I'm hoping that we'll get to find out more about what happened between Annie and Richard soon as well...

Sian :)

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Review #8, by nott theodore The Feast

3rd August 2014:
Hi again, Jenna!

Ah yay, this was another great chapter and I love getting to read all of these scenes that are set in the past so we can absorb the setting that you've created for the characters and learn more about what's going on! This was so brilliant and I'm glad that the banquet went a lot more smoothly than I anticipated when I first realised that it was coming, and Rose didn't really do anything to actually embarrass herself, so I'm quite proud of her here.

Although I've read tons of books set in this era now and I love reading about it, it's really interesting to see someone like Rose thrust into this setting. She doesn't have much knowledge of history - which makes sense, really, considering the fact she went to Hogwarts and didn't learn about what was affecting the Muggles in the past - but that means it's more difficult for her to understand the tensions that are going on. At the same time, she has no real idea yet what's going to happen to any of these people either and she's learning about history as it's actually happening, which is really cool to read.

Haha, I loved the part at the beginning when Rose was getting dressed and she'd had to multiply her underwear so that she could have enough for however long her stay might be. I don't blame her for using it, especially as it would be very strange to suddenly start getting dressed by someone else again when you've done it yourself for most of your life!

I loved the banquet scene! It was so amazing and I loved the way that you blended the real historical background and information with the magical world too, with the appearance of Sir Nicholas! It made me laugh a bit that Rose was being pleased by his attentions and flirting without realising that in the future he'd become Nearly Headless Nick - if she knew that, I'm not so sure that she'd want him to pay her that sort of attention! :P

I thought all the tiny details in this chapter about the way that Rose was meant to behave during the banquet were great, because really, none of us would have any idea what we were meant to do back in those times! I thought it was great that everyone swallowed the lie about 'Baron Ronald' (he'd love being called that, wouldn't he?) and the way that kind of put her as Nicholas's equal. Aw, and the cute moments with Richard too, when he gave her some of the pork and he was blushing about it! Was it him who made sure that Agnes went home with some of the best cuts as well?

As I was reading this I was recognising some more of the historical characters too, like Sir Francis Lovell and his wife Annie! I love the way that you've portrayed Annie here, because she's such a vivid character and so flirtatious - she really seemed contemptuous of her husband! But it was quite good for Rose to have someone like that to guide her through things, especially because she was someone who took more of the limelight so Rose wasn't quite as exposed when she didn't know what she was meant to be doing! She does seem quite dark and manipulative though, and I'm really interested to see what sort of role she's going to play in the rest of this story.

I think my favourite thing about this chapter was the tiny detail about the cards that they were playing with! I know that one set created a lot of fuss and problems because of the chance of Nicholas supporting the house of Lancaster (he does seem quite good at getting himself into trouble, doesn't he?) but I also loved the magical symbols that appeared on the cards in places of the suits - the four objects of the Founders, if I'm not mistaken? That was such a clever touch and I'm kind of surprised that Rose didn't pick up on it too, but then again, she doesn't sound like she paid much attention in the past (especially only knowing the names of a few Death Eaters!) so it's not that surprising!

I'm really intrigued and a little bit worried about what Annie Lovell is going to try and do, especially since I don't remember reading about anything having happened between them...

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey hey!! :D

I'm glad you like all the scenes in the past, I remember by this point in the story I was getting pretty invested in it and having fun writing all those moments. A good thing about Rose's situation is that none of the people are going to be like, "oh hey, you must be a witch from the future" so they don't think to question her - so far, at least. She definitely does have a bit of a knack for awkward situations, though.

I'm so glad you think so, I agree! It's so fascinating to think about what it might be like to suddenly be trapped there and not really know what's going on. Rose might make more of an initiative to learn about the past when she's back in the present, but for now she's just sort of grasping onto whatever she can figure out.

It definitely would be hard to figure out all the clothes and customs and especially the hygiene practices. Hehe, I love writing those scenes since Rose really is such a princess.

I loved writing the banquet scene! I wish I could have more authentic information instead of just imagination but I'm so glad you liked it. Haha, it will/would be so awkward for Rose if/when she finds out his true identity. Picture a lot of throwing things through his ghostly head (if that moment ever comes...). And yes, well again they wouldn't have any reason to doubt Richard, and he's pretty invested in her even if she doesn't know it yet. :P Poor Richie has a bit of a crush, but he's a good guy and takes care of Agnes.

Well you know by now that I was actually inspired by Lovell to write the OF version more about him, which I still really want to do. Annie is so fun as well, she's just really unpredictable and I'm glad you pointed out how she's a little manipulative.

Thank you! I'm so excited you liked the magical cards nad noticed it all in this chapter - clever lady that you are!! Yes, Rose is clueless at this point but then again she's pretty overwhelmed, poor thing! She won't stay clueless forever, though, I promise! :P

Thanks so much, lovely! ♥



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Review #9, by nott theodore Fotheringay

3rd August 2014:
Hi again, Jenna!

I'm really trying to catch up with this story while I have time and hopefully before you update it too much more, because you're so quick at writing and I've got far too behind!

I thought the beginning of this chapter was great, to go into all the details of the difficulties that Rose had adjusting to life in this period! I think it's something that's romanticised so much in stories and films especially, and I think that the way you've shown the contrasts between the facilities that Rose is used to and what's available to her in the fifteenth century - even in a castle - is brilliant, because it does the opposite of romanticising it. It was also great to read all the detail that you'd put into it from an historical perspective, so we got to learn more about these times and find out the sort of conditions that they had to live in - it's so strange to think of the way that they actually used to live! Of course for them there was nothing unusual about any of it, but for someone like Rose, just as it would be for us, it's extremely different and disgusting, to be honest!

If I were Rose, next time I went back to the modern day I'd be learning lots more charms that would help out in these sorts of situations, so that she doesn't have to try and wash with an Aguamenti charm and all those sorts of things :P

I thought that the way that you included religion was really interesting! You couldn't write a story set in this period without including it, because even if people didn't really believe in it, they had to go along with everything because of the way that society was at this point in time. But for someone like Rose, who's had a background with Hermione telling her things like that about religion (you managed to capture Hermione's thought process brilliantly there, by the way - if there's not a logical explanation behind it, then it doesn't need to be considered), then dealing with going to chapel twice a day and having to behave like a demure young Christian woman would be extremely difficult! Her thoughts in chapel really made me laugh, and the way that instead of using the quiet to think about something useful, like a plan to find her time travel potion (any chance that accio might work? :P), she gets paranoid that other people can hear what she's thinking!

Aw, it was great to get to see a scene with Richard, even if it was only short! I was quite surprised that he seemed to swallow her transparent lie about who her father was, but I'm looking forward to seeing how she behaves at the banquet tonight - I feel like, if she doesn't want to arouse more suspicion amongst the others, she's going to need to improve on the lying front!

I loved the conversation with Ellyn, though, and the way that you tried to emulate her speech, because little bits like that just make this even more believable! And it was really nice for Rose to have some girl talk as well, but I did feel sorry for Ellyn when she confessed her crush on George because we know there's no hope of anything 'honourable' happening for her! I'm really looking forward to reading about the banquet now!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hey hey!!

Haha, I'm lucky I wrote so much of this story last year because I haven't done very well with it since!

I'm glad you liked the beginning and how it shows a less romantic side to being in the past. While visiting castles like these I really got a feel for how tough and uncomfortable life would have often been and wanted to show that. I had a lot of fun, especially with all the toilet stuff as it's quite entertaining. :P

Yes, definitely! Rose is lucky that she's a witch since there is stuff she can do to make her life there a little easier at least.

Absolutely, religion is really important to the times but also was quite interesting to think about. Hermione is a lot like me and my mom in how we talk about religion hehe, so I'm glad you liked it and thought it made sense. :P Rose's inner monologue and the thing she stresses about are so funny to write and I imagine that trapped in chapel she would let her thoughts get away from her a bit.

I'm glad you liked Richard here! Well, I figured that he wouldn't exactly be looking for lies in her story since he does like her, and it's trickier for them to figure out if somebody is telling the truth than it is for us with the internet and everything, so Rose does have a bit of time before anybody really starts investigating her. :P

I love writing Ellyn, and she really doesn't have a very promising life because of her station and gender. She was a character who surprised me by continuing to pop up and having something to say.

Thanks so much for another amazing review, Sian! :D


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Review #10, by nott theodore Richard

19th July 2014:
Hi again, Jenna!

*takes a moment to appreciate the chapter image of Richard*

Yay, another chapter set entirely in the past! I loved the way that this focused more on Richard and his version of events because it's really interesting to see how he perceives Rose, especially since he's from this era and because of that his standards and expectations would be completely different. I think it's really impressive that you'd even attempt to tackle something like that and you did it so well here!

I really enjoyed the first part of this chapter when Richard was thinking back to the fairy lady that he'd met when he was younger! I liked the fact that even though he was trying to forget about Rose and the meeting with her, but he just couldn't stop thinking about her. The way that you wove in some of his past was great too, because although I've read a lot about him, it helps a lot of people who haven't find out more. The idea that Rose's arrival when Richard was a child (so I suppose that wasn't really his first meeting with her) became a cherished memory for him and something that he's thought back to a lot when he's been growing up. That was so amazing!

Eep, that meeting was so great! I love the contrasts between the characters of Rose and Richard that we can already see, because she's trying her best to conform in some way to the society that Richard belongs to, but even though she tries to fit in there are some things that she can't manage. Her views on things are obviously so different to his, especially on things like women and equality and all those sorts of things. She's still much bolder than the sort of woman he'd normally encounter, and even though she's adjusted her clothes and her appearance, she's still addressing him as she would anyone nowadays.

It was great to find out more of Rose's history through this as well! I wondered what had happened between her and Scorpius and I suppose that it's kind of a mark of how close she and Richard will become that she confided that history in him, even if some of it was altered. (I really liked the way that she was altering some of her words to hide the way she lives in the future and the fact that she's a witch, too.) Was she actually engaged to Scorpius in the modern day, or was that an embellishment on the story to make it easier for Richard to understand? But I thought that he must have cheated on her, or tried to at least, so I can understand why Rose is feeling so angry with him and wants to get away from everything that's been happening in her life there. It sets everything up beautifully for motivating her to escape into the past with Richard and start a relationship with him soon.

And Rose is going to go live with Richard in the castle! That's really exciting, I wonder how much longer she'll stay around though, and what will happen to their relationship if she suddenly disappears and then reappears later on. Anyway, this was great and I'll be back for more soon!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!! :D

Hehe, he's so beautiful. ♥ My Richard isn't really based (though probably inspired by) Phillipa Gregory's Richard or from the TV series but I do think Aneurin fits him perfectly.

I love writing Richard's perspective and I'm glad you liked seeing his view. He's tricky sometimes because he does follow the prejudices and views on women of the time but it's good to know you liked how he was written.

Because of the strange timelines, Rose has already made an appearance and lasting impact on Richard as a child and an adult. It's sort of magical for him and is kind of confusing, but exciting for me to write about and slowly reveal to the readers.

She is trying to conform! The good thing about Rose is that she is adaptable and does try to fit in and make sense of her position. The more time she spends in the past sees her evolve and change.

I think that for Rose to make things up out of nowhere would be a lot trickier. Instead, she draws on truths and turns them into plausible backgrounds. She definitely was never engaged to Scorpius, though it makes more sense for Richard to think that because of the standards of the time. :P Rose's relationship with Scorpius and her general dissatisfaction with her life in her current time is a big reason for why she wants to escape to the past and have adventures like you pointed out.

Yay for castles! :D

Thanks so much for a wonderful review, darling!! :D I'm slowly working my way through responding to all your wonderful thoughts.


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Review #11, by nott theodore Hedgewitch

19th July 2014:
Hi, Jenna!

Yay, I finally made it back to this story! I've been missing your writing so much but now I'm back into reviewing again I'm determined to catch up so I can read and review these updates when they're actually posted!

This was such a great chapter to come back to! I loved the way that the whole chapter was set in the past, and it feels like this time Rose spent more time in the past that she did the first time that she visited. I wonder if that pattern's going to carry on, and she'll end up aging as she spends time in the past, but since time doesn't seem to be carrying on in the present, I wonder if she'll age ahead of her time? (Does that even make sense? It did in my head but I'm not sure if it did here :P)

Anyway, moving on from the incoherent musings... I liked the way that you took us back to Rose's arrival in the past, since we saw it from Richard's perspective in the last chapter. I thought you did a really great job of immersing us in the period straight away, and also tackling Agnes's speech, because not only does it sound older but she's using a certain amount of dialect too, which she would have done in those times, so it was great to see that you'd actually made the effort to include something like that. It helped to make it a lot more believable.

I really liked reading about Rose's reactions and thoughts as she arrived. She was unsure because it was a completely different place that she'd arrived in this time, but I wonder whether it's because this time, Rose didn't have any specific destination in mind when she tried to apparate? Her confusion was really believable and I liked the way that you described Agnes, that she seemed a bit scary by today's standards but Rose could see past that and see the kindness there.

Aw, I felt so sorry for Rose when Richard dismissed her, even though I'd already read about it in the last chapter. But it was sweet that she was so hopeful, even though she really barely knew Richard, and that she's already feeling that connection with him. It's going to be really interesting because now we've seen the first time that both of them have met the other, and I can't wait to see how the relationship develops from here!

I absolutely loved the detail and thought that you've put into creating this world, and the way that the magical world integrated with the world at this point in history. I sympathised with Rose when she was trying to work out how Richard fitted in with all the kings, because they definitely are confusing (even though I'm British :P). But I absolutely loved Agnes's character and the way that you used her to explore the situation for wizards at this point in time. It's so interesting to think that the lower classes would only have been able to afford to go to Hogwarts for a few years, and the subjects that they learnt there would be tailored to their futures. And then the way that they had to hide their magic, so Agnes and all her family members had returned to normal life and acted as the village wise woman. All of that detail was just so interesting to read about and made the chapter so rich to read!

I love the fact that Agnes is a witch though and understands Rose's abilities but also has that connection to Richard, because I think that makes a lot more sense when it comes to the two of them starting a relationship together. I can't wait to see how this continues!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!! :D

Ahh, I've been slowly working my way through all of your AMAZING reviews and I really don't know how to do them justice with these responses! I'm sorry for taking so long to reply, but thank you for taking the time to read my stories and leave such thoughtful reflections. You're an incredible reviewer.

Rose is definitely here to stay for a little while at least. That does make sense, and is one of the questions Rose is asking herself as she spends more time in the past. It's impact on her life depends, as if she spent years in the past that could mean years off her life in her own future. (now I'm not making any sense!).

I struggle a lot with the dialect and the speech patterns: obviously they can't really be accurate but I did want to try and separate the "norm" of speaking (Rose) from the oddness she would find in the language of Agnes and the others. I'm glad it makes it seem more believable! :)

Hmm, interesting theory about how the Apparating might work. :P It is quite tricky and Rose has no idea how to control the time travel at this point. I'm glad you liked Agnes, she is kind but also a little odd and I would probably be a little freaked out by her as well to be honest.

Richard is the only person Rose knows so far in the past, and so it fits that she would feel connecting to him. It's a bit of a paradox really. I love writing them together though, it's quite fun if a little hard to keep track of. :P

I'm pleased you like the detail! As you know I quite enjoy writing the historical details or at least trying to imagine what it might have been like. The kings are pretty confusing, and she wouldn't necessarily know much about the specific actors in the war of the Roses, not to mention that for now she just thinks he's some sort of duke.

I really liked thinking about class divisions at Hogwarts and how to tie in to the books. It's so cool, especially with the stigma against magic during that time and the lack of a Ministry.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review, Sian!! :D ♥


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Review #12, by Penelope Inkwell The Joust

10th July 2014:
For the House Cup 2014 Review

Although I was going to review this anyways! Thatís just an added bonus :)

Iím back! Sorry that itís been so long. I was very busy with school for a while, and then I was traveling, but Iíve been wanting to read the next chapters for AGES! By the way, I recently visited the Tower of London and got to hear about Richardís rumored nefarious doings, and I thought of what Rose might have to say about those allegations :)

So, a joust! How fun. Although I must say, it does not sound like the ideal post-hangover activity. Poor Rose! And no water! I guess thereís always the "hair Ďo the dog that bit yeĒ method. Yikes.

I love that Rose gets into jousting. It does make sense, since sheís a fan of Quidditch. I mean, of course sheís concerned when people are injured, but she is used to a game where people hit bludgers at each other and try to knock players out of the sky, which *is* probably worse than even falling off Apollo would be. I think I, personally, would want to enjoy it, but spend half the time in a panic. Rose taking to it more easily makes sense, and the concern she does show speaks well for her character.

I also like that Rose is really thinking about how she ought to act. Sheís not paranoid about it--as she says, sheíll only be there for a while--but she is taking things seriously, which I think may be good for her character growth, long-term.

And Sir Nicholas! Heís a wizard?! Ooh! I didnít see that coming, but I like it. Iím looking forward to seeing how that might play out. Also, having Salazar Slytherin be the ďknave" of snakes? I love that! Brilliant touch. It all goes so perfectly: crowns for Rowenaís diadem, cups like the Cup of Hufflepuff, and swords like the sword of Gryffindor. It does all fit wonderfully as a deck of cards. How very clever!

Also, is Scorpius coming to Fotheringay? Oh my!

CC:

Really all Iíve got here is teeny, nit-picky things.

"They were armed in full silver armor, which reminded me quite strongly of the suits of armor which decorated Hogwarts and were prone to going for unexpected strolls.Ē
--Armed in armor which reminds her of suits of armor is a lot of ďarmĒ in one sentence. Maybe ďoutfittedĒ in full silver armor might break it up a bit? But that really is quite picky. I love the bit about comparing it to the Hogwarts armor, though, and how those suits will just get up and walk on their own.

"I wondered why he was so sure about keeping his voice down.Ē
--ďinsistentĒ might be a better word than ďsureĒ here. Or something like that.

But thatís it. Youíre writing is so good that, if Iím to critique anything at all, it pretty much always has to be the teeny tiny details.

Another great chapter, as always! Iím so excited to be reading this story again! :D

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi Penny!!

Don't even worry, I've been really slow and lazy about editing and uploading these chapters!! That's so cool - I LOVE the tower and London in general as is probably pretty clear here, hehe. Rose has (so far) not really been able to research Richard and hear about his reputation, though it will someday definitely cause her some trouble.

It makes me cringe just thinking about Rose and her hangover, yuck. I'm so glad I live in a place and era where there is clean water, and it's another Rose is starting to appreciate about her own time.

Haha, that's a funny point about Quidditch and why Rose likes the jousting. I think it would be pretty cool to watch especially when you know the people in the suits of armour. She also does want to act properly and not stand out too much, since she doesn't know for sure if she can get back herself and what the consequences of exposing herself as an imposter might be. She is a little self-conscious as well so she doesn't want to make a fool of herself.

Hehe, I'm so glad you liked Nicholas being a wizard!! It was one of the twists I was really excited about. I did some research on decks of cards of the time and thought they seemed quite cool, and it fit well to tie them in here. I'm glad you liked it!

Scorpius...well, we should keep an eye on him. :P

Thanks for pointing those out, I've fixed them now and it's super helpful! :D Thanks so much for the really wonderful review, Penny, and I'm sorry about the late response! ♥


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Review #13, by marauderfan A Proposal and a Tumble

9th July 2014:
I have surfaced from the void of internet-less-ness and am so happy to see a new(ish) chapter on this story! Hurrah!

This was a cool chapter! I loved the shift in POV to read about things from Richard's perspective. It's interesting to read his changing opinions of Rose, who at first was this fantastical fairy woman, and now it seems that the most alluring thing about her is how human she is, all her faults and sloppy manners making her seem otherworldly to him in a way. I wonder what his friends will tell him about the baron Ronald, and whether they will actually find a baron named Ronald and what he is like, haha.

Because this really wouldn't be a proper review if I didn't get distracted and off topic at least once, I'm going to point out how much I love your attention to historical detail again, and the point about how they only bathed once a year, makes me very glad to live in modern times rather than the Middle Ages because when I go backpacking and don't shower for a week, it's unpleasant. I can't imagine a whole YEAR. Though I guess that in the Middle Ages everyone was too drunk to care about being smelly, as they had wine for all occasions.

Annie Lovell is a great character! I like how forward and crafty she is, though I feel like this isn't the end of her craftiness regarding Richard. She seems like a stubborn type who is used to getting what she wants. She has noticed Richard's attraction to Rose, and yet still seems to be very friendly with Rose - but I wonder if that's about to change. The way you've woven actual historical figures into this story is just so cool, and the blend of history and HP characters is such a rich and clever blend.

I would have Nicholasí head for this. -- Hahahaha, the wording of this. So fabulous. I am eagerly awaiting when Rose finds out that Sir Nicholas is indeed Nearly Headless Nick.

Uh oh, falling off a horse. That isn't good. It sounds like she has a broken ankle - but on the bright side, it doesn't sound like the horse stepped on her or anything, so at least she's better off than she could have been. But I can't imagine that fixing broken bones was an easy process in the 1400s.

This was a great chapter and the story continues to be amazing! I noticed a bit of 'old Rose lamenting her past self' in there, when she mentions something about being young and fanciful then - it reminds me of the great mystery alluded to at the beginning, of what happened to her back in time, whether she aged a lot while she was there, or something else befell her... but either way I'm excited to read on and awaiting the next chapter!

House Cup Review 2014

Author's Response: Kristin!! :) Hai!!

I'm glad you liked this! Writing in Richard's POV was one of the aspects of this story which really surprised me since I didn't really plan to do it, so I'm pleased you liked him here. Richard is just really confused and amazed by Rose, and also her human qualities make her more mystical to him because he's more used to the women of his own time. He finds her endearing but also really fascinating.

Thank you! Oh goodness, I agree as I'm a bit of a shower princess and, like Rose, wouldn't go very well in a situation where the hygiene norms were different. I love writing about her discomfort, it's so amusing.

I'm pleased you like Annie as well! She is stubborn and a bit spoiled, and definitely using political relationships to her advantage. I'm so glad you like the historical and HP characters, they're quite interesting to tie in.

Hehehe. She might take a bit too long about figuring out Nick's identity... though to be fair, with all she's dealing with she's unlikely to think of the old ghost from Hogwarts in connection to Nicholas.

Yes, while Rose is a witch and should be able to set her ankle with magic she isn't exactly the most skilled when it comes to practical spells. Her injury might become more important later though.

There is definitely disaster and pain coming, though for now Rose is still settling in.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review and continuing to be so awesome and supporting this story, Kristin!! ♥


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Review #14, by patronus_charm A Proposal and a Tumble

6th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

Hi Jenna!

I really loved Richardís thoughts at the beginning of this chapter there were so romantic and lovely and I really loved seeing him fall in love with Rose. He really has watched every move of hers and analysed her from every angle so that is a clear sign, and I felt as if I could sense some jealously and protection creeping in as he mentioned other people. I canít help but wonder what might happen if his search for Baron Ron yields something as it would be rather funny if it did :P

I liked learning more about Annie and Sir Francis as I can place the two of them into context now. Aha, so there was something going on between Annie and Richard though, well in a way, I was glad that he put her straight and made it sort of clear that his heart lay elsewhere. I really liked their old-fashioned speech which was a really cool thing to add in! I have a feeling that his rejection of Annie wonít go down so well though and Iím worried she might do in revenge!

There were some really lovely moments when Rose was out riding with Richard ♥ I have a feeling that Nicholas might be an eventual rival for Richard though as he and Rose have the magical connection which is really cool but weíll have to see. The ending with Daisy galloping off was dramatic!! I wonder if Rose is going to bump into any more historical figures now.

Great chapter!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana! :)

First of all, I'm so sorry for the long delay in all my review responses to your lovely reviews! This month has just gotten the best of me.

Aw, I'm so glad you like Richard! He is a bit possessive already which could be a good or a bad thing, and I love writing his perspective so much that it shows up way more in this story than first planned. :P The good thing about Richard is that he doesn't WANT to expose Rose for a fraud because he does like her, so hopefully he won't go digging for the truth anytime soon. :P

There's definitely something going on, and Annie's a little sneaky whereas Richard is loyal to a fault to hs friend. I'm glad the old-fashioned language doesn't go over the top though, I do worry about it! We definitely haven't seen the last of Annie.

I'm so glad you liked the riding scene and the romantic moments! Nicholas and Rose definitely have more of a friendship than she has with Richard so far, because he's more light-hearted and less guarded and of course they have magic.

Thanks so much, Kiana! :)


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Review #15, by patronus_charm The Joust

18th May 2014:
Today seems to be a catch up on Jennaís stories day :P

Yay we get to see Scorpius again! I liked how he was open and accepting of the Weasley family even if he felt a little awkward being there, I almost felt a little story for him actually. Ooh, as for him and Lucy Iím not too sure, and I have a feeling Lucy might be after him. That might just be my headcanon though as Iíve always imagined her to be a very sneaky Slytherin though. So he found the magical potion thing! Ooh, this could get interesting because with the way you left it, it seemed certain he was going to drink it.

I loved the discussion of water. I donít even know why because itís just water, but it was interesting to see how much had differed in the time periods. I would definitely avoid it though because water contaminated by a dead body doesnít sound all that appealing in my opinion. No wonder Rose is feeling ill if sheís just drinking alcohol all the time, or perhaps this is the side effects of time travel beginning to show?

Aw, Roseís thoughts about Richard! I love how sheís beginning to get jealous of Annie, as it shows that something must be developing here. Though I have to say this is one of the strangest relationships Iíve read thanks to the time travel because depending on when they meet up one of them is more in love than the other and that must get really confusing. She really does seem to understand his character though with the cold and unforgiving edge, and thatís an ominous reminder of what he may have done to his nephews.

Ahahah, I have so many thoughts from that last section I donít know what to say/do. Ok, I loved how you included all the little historical things such as the hierarchy in society and how that strictly what you said and did. Then the jousting match was really cool and how they had all their little things such as asking for tokens. Ha, Richard was obviously jealous when Rose gave her token to Nicholas and I was just like oh yeah maybe you should be paying her more attention and it was a really cool fangirl moment.

Then the jousting was really cool too, except when Nicholas fell and I was like ah, Rose run and save him. Iím getting so confused over whether I want those two together or Rose and Richard. The next part was really cool though because I had been wondering earlier on whether there were any secret magical people, and when Nicholas revealed the cards it was great. I wonder how this will affect future events, and whether the Hogwarts houses caused a deeper split in society.

This was such a great chapter and I really hope the next is up soon! :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hello Kiana! :)

Eep, I just looked at the date of this review and the last one and it was May 18th!! I don't know how I let the responses get this out of hand - well, traveling and going out and bad wifi - but still, I'm so sorry!

I'm glad you felt sorry for him! I think he would be justified feeling a bit awkward in this situation, definitely. Hmm, interesting thoughts about the potion! There is something up there.

I agree! Things like water and sewage and food would have been a huge part of daily life in these times and I wanted to get those details across as in some time travel stories they seem to be glossed over a little. I think it's a bit of both really, I mean drinking alcohol all the time would be a huge and awful change, I'm cringing just thinking about it.

Agh, I know! This relationship is so messed up and confusing, and it was a little tricky for me to write their characters in different emotional states and remembering how much one knows about the other. Richard does have a colder side which Rose is beginning to see, but like all people he's quite multi-faceted.

Thank you! I loved writing all those historical moments and scenes, haha. Yay for fangirling! I was hoping people might feel a little indignant for Rose and how Richard was ignoring her.

Ooh, so you're shipping Rose/Nicholas eh? Interesting... :P Its definitely possible, and I really love exploring how the wizarding world might impact society too.

Thank you so much for another wonderful review, Kiana! :D


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Review #16, by marauderfan The Joust

6th May 2014:
Ooh, some deets on what Scorpius did. Did he cheat on Rose? cause that's what it sounds like. (And Rose's mention of infidelity following her, later) But I have a feeling you're just trying to make it sound that way, and he did something else entirely :P Or maybe that's what you want me to think, that you're misleading me. It's like a game of rock-paper-scissors trying to out-guess the other person. :p

NO IT DOES NOT SMELL DELICIOUS. NO HE DID NOT. Did he follow her?!?!?! :O

You make such a good point about the water. I can't imagine how everyone just drank wine for all occasions back then. Seriously, was everyone in the Middle Ages just drunk all the time? haha

As I read the jousting scene, the song "We Will Rock You" is playing in my head because I associate jousting with A Knight's Tale hahah. Oh, and the man she nicknames Crosses haha, with a "twice broken nose that had never properly healed" - I'm pretty sure that's a description JKR uses to describe Dumbledore at one point. (either that or I have a bad memory. Which is very possible) Therefore Dumbledore is actually 600 years old. (oh and someday I will try to leave you a review that does not consist of just getting wildly off topic.)

I like your continued characterization of Not-Yet-Headless Nick, I could so see him being involved in jousting (badly) and getting injured because he's too reckless! What a Gryffindor :p Speaking of Gryffindor, the cards he hands Rose at the end seem rather interesting, with lions and snakes? Are there missing cards that have eagles and badgers? Just wondering. Omg but they totally are, because the queen of crowns (crown as in diadem?) is going to have an eagle, and queen of cups is Hufflepuff and ahaha you are way too sneaky with this, Jenna. Love it. I still have no idea what the cards are for, though! :p

Awesome chapter and I loved reading about the joust! You do really well writing these action scenes!

Author's Response: Hi Kristin!:) This is a phone response so will probably be awful but I'm waiting for a bus and will give it a chance :P traveling is really cutting into my internet time sadly which I know you can relate to!!

Aha I love this review and how you think I'm so devious! :D I really didn't mean to make their breakup this dramatic but Scorpius wanted to be more of a character and so this happened, and yeah, the potion... Well time will tell but this does put a bit of a spin on things.

I bet they were drunk all the time! Poor Rose haha, I would not be able to go without water and drink alcohol constantly especially as it probably would have not been as tasty back in the day. It's fun putting her through all the uncomfortable stuff although I would never want to deal with all that, Rose and I both like our modern conveniences.

I loved writing the jousting (argh that just autocorrected to Houston whyyy) and I'm glad you liked it and even had a soundtrack going with it, haha. Now I totally have that song stuck in my head. Poor Crosses, I have to admit he is not Dumbledore but he's definitely quite battered and bruised from jousting and battle and all that good stuff.

I'm glad you're liking Nick and recognized him, hehe. I had this moment of epiphany when planing the story that he would have been around now and couldn't resist, and he really grew to be a bigger character as well. He's one of the people I couldn't convert if I turned this into OF so I really was excited to get these chapters out. Hehe the cards are really just playing cards but magical ones, but yes, they are all cool and related to the founders! Haha I loves reading your reactions to that.

Thanks so so much for the amazing review and all the reviews, I appreciate it so much :D. You and a couple others really keep my interest in this story/my other WIPs alive -you're awesome!!


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Review #17, by GingeredTea Hedgewitch

12th April 2014:
She is really a brilliant combination of Ronald and Hermione - rash and up for an adventure, but somehow more steady on her feet than Ron ever was. She isn't nervous at first. Her first thought is of what an adventure this could be.

Oh yeah, hello. I'm back. :) Missed this story!!!

I loved the way you introduced Agnes and the world of magic here. The idea that not all children would experience the same education makes sense even as it is baffling. Your portrayal added real depth to the story. But we're not there yet, so I regress.

I also loved how you managed to express this different timeline with Richard. I mean that in two senses: they are from different times/cultures/etc., but also in the sense that she has had more of a 'relationship' with him than him with her - she has been kissed by him, whereas his experience with her is from a child's innocent outlook.

She steps on her own feet like Ron would have, not keeping these facts in mind, but knows them afterwards with the depth Hermione might have and Ron could never have hoped to figure out (boys!).

Brilliant chapter! :D

Author's Response: Tory! I miss you and your stories so much - this past month has left me no time for forums and review fun times. :( But exams are over in a few days so will have more time then! Thanks so much for dropping by with this review, I really loved it! :D

I'm so glad you like Rose - she is, she's both impulsive but also able to keep her head. I think I'd be like that too in a time travel situation, hopefully. She doesn't really realize what she's getting herself into.

I'm pleased you liked Agnes as well, and how the nobles' children might get a better education than the peasants. It fit with the class divisions of the time, and I'm glad you thought it added depth - one of the best parts of writing this story is integrating magic in with the medieval world.

The timelines of their relationship are so confusing to me sometimes! :P Haha, but I'm really glad you're liking it and how they meet each other at different times in their lives. It's quite fun to play with, and it sort of gives one of them the "edge" or the "power of knowledge" each separate time they meet. Right now, he sees her as this sort of mythical figure, but as he begins to see the more human side to her, he can grow more towards the relationship they might have in the future.

I really love your analysis of how Rose is like Ron and Hermione! You've just described her perfectly. She's both blundering and thoughtful, and somehow makes those things work.

Thank you so much for this amazing review, it really made my day! ♥



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Review #18, by patronus_charm The Feast

9th April 2014:
Ahahah, this chapter was so cool!

First of all, I loved seeing Rose get dressed it just made me laugh so much how you just cling onto that one random thing no matter what just to feel some comfort in a strange and for her that was her underwear. I can see why the others must of thought it was weird, and it was just such a great moment. I felt for her so much again when she stumbled into the hall late and everyone was staring at her, but it seemed to be in typical Rose style really.

This chapter was so cool with all the historical cameos from people and yeah it was fab! I think the small historical touches were really great with Rose forgetting that you had to address people with their titles such as your grace, and then all of the meat. The vegetarian inside of me was feeling very sick and I really hope time travel doesnít actually exist because I donít know what I would eat if I was sent there :P

I loved how we were getting deeper into the politics of the time such as the Lovells making an appearance, and then the hints to the old civil war with Edward and then the future one with Henry and Richard. Gah, all those times Richard was referred to as a loyal as a dog, I was just like uhuh he stole the crown from his nephew, not so loyal. I really canít wait to see what happens with that aspect of the story and the battle of Bosworth. Maybe his death is what finally stops Rose going back in time.

The ending with Anne Lovell running after Richard was really interesting as I canít remember them ever having an affair, but then it seemed like it there. But I really hope it isnít true as he and Rose had such cute little moments in this chapter which were so sweet and yeah.

This review felt very rambly so hopefully it makes some sense to you!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi Kiana! :) Ahh, I'm so sorry for taking ages to respond to this, once again. This week has been crazy. :(

I'm so glad you liked this chapter! I love how I'm finally posting the chapters which happen in the past, it's quite exciting. And yes! I feel like simple things like that would be such a big adjustment when going to a time when things were less...comfortable. And haha, yes, typical Rose. :P She has the worst luck and she's quite awkward, but I do love her for it.

I'm glad you liked the historical cameos! I can only imagine what it would be like to adjust to all the etiquette rules but I'm sure it would be difficult to adjust to. Hahaha, from what I've read it seems like the rich would just feast on meat, I'm sorry if it made you feel sick! I think the lower classes would probably eat more broth and porridge type stuff but the nobles would enjoy their hearty meals. I'm a bit of a carnivore but thinking about eating the pig was a little excessive.

Yes! I felt like that would be really important and politics would always be on everybody's mind. And yup! I'm quite excited to get to that part way down the line as it's one of the most interesting things about his character and shows how evil he acts in the future. It's so exciting to pull in all these historical details in the story.

Anne is up to something, for sure. :) Hehe, I'm excited for readers to see more of Annie as she's quite a contentious character in my mind.

Thanks so much for the amazing review, I loved it! :) ♥


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Review #19, by marauderfan The Feast

8th April 2014:
Hello! I apologise as this is going to be another short review but this was a great chapter! So, Sir Nicholas... he seemed a bit evasive when talking about his "education" far away, as in probably Hogwarts. And based on the time period of this story, I presume that he is none other than Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, the not-yet-nearly-headless Nick. Ooh, and I just looked back at that section and he is even wearing a ruff. Very clever, Jenna :D

I also have a suspicion that "Annie" is Anne Boleyn, but I would have to refresh on my medieval hhistory to make sure.

Great use of historical (and HP canon) figures in here, it was an excellent chapter! I think if I knew more about this time period, I would know what's going on there with the symbolism behind the card game, but at the moment I'm wondering as much as Rose. Btw, I like that Rose isn't super into history so she figures stuff out along with the reader, it's more of an adventure of figuring things out.

Awesome job!

Author's Response: Hello! :) Hey, never apologize for a review being long or short - I'm always just excited to hear your thoughts!

Muahaha. I have been so excited to post this chapter for so long and to see if anybody would recognize him! :D My mom (who I send the chapters to as I write them) took a little longer to figure it out, but then again she isn't quite as knowledgeable about HP as we are over here at HPFF. :P I figured the ruff would be a good signature style for him - ruffs never go out of vogue for Sir Nick. :P

Anne Boleyn comes a little later, in the 1500s with Henry VIII. However this Anne is pretty conniving as well, to be honest, and is quite similar to how I would write Anne Boleyn. So maybe I had some unconscious inspiration here? "Annie" Lovell was a real person, though her personality is of course made up.

Thank you! :) Hmm, I'm toying a bit with how much historical context to include here, or to let the readers find out as Rose does. Basically, there's a lot of betrayal going on and getting charged with treason could be as simple as having an offensive card game. :P I really do just make a lot of stuff up while writing though, to be fair.

Thank you so much for the brilliant review, Kristin! ♥


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Review #20, by Aphoride Mysteries

3rd April 2014:
Hey there! When you posted, I had to stop by for more of this story - I really, really can't get enough of it! :)

Okay, so I love how you've characterised Louis. I like how he's gorgeous and clever, but kinda boring, haha :P It's such a lovely and unique way to portray him - I've honestly never seen it before, but I really love it! His mate Archie is great too - I like how he tells Rose about the Time Turner and the experimentation the Department of Mysteries have been doing, even though he's not meant to. It's such a realistic thing, you know - people always want to tell secrets, if they have them. Well, most people, at least.

Rose, as always, is brilliant. I love how curious she is - how it's an almost academic curiosity which leads her to it, rather than anything else - and the way she hangs around with her cousins, and isn't very respectful towards her bosses, and wants excitement and all that. It's such a great characterisation - but then you know that already! ;)

So, yeah, all your characterisation is great.

I'm so impossibly curious about what she stole from the Department is! A potion of some kind... hm... interesting. Will it let her get to the device or let her go back in time? Curious, very curious... I'm so desperate to know - hopefully we'll swap again soon so I can come back! :)

Your details in this are beautiful. They're so detailed and full and rich and amazing. I love them so much, and your writing is gorgeous. They really fill it out. Your writing is so lovely, as always - it flows so beautifully, it's easy to read and lovely... yeah, it's just great.

I'm so excited to read more of this, and really hope I'll be able to come back soon to read more. It's such an exciting, fast-paced story, so I can't wait to get to the bit where Rose goes back in time and meets Richard! :)

Thank you so much for the swap - I always love swapping with you! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm so excited that you're liking this story! :) It really is my baby so it's so lovely to get positive feedback.

Louis is a little boring - I love that. :P Louis is such a great cousin to Rose but he likes to keep things quiet and calm. And Archie is quite interesting as well, and he's not very good at not speaking for an Unspeakable. :P

Thank you, I'm so pleased you like Rose! She is quite curious in a way that she likes gathering knowledge and knowing everything about everybody. I find her quite similar to myself in some ways as in many situations I just imagined what I would do - it helps in keeping her character consistent, anyway. :P

Hehe, well the potion is sort of explained... eventually... it's all quite confusing!

I'm really glad you liked the details. I'm sometimes a little wary of over-writing with the details and background, but I really enjoy tying in all these little things. Wow, thank you so much - you really do flatter me! ♥

I hope you can come back soon too - we'll definitely have to swap in the near future as I love having the chance to review your stories! I can't wait to hear your thoughts on Richard and Rose's interactions! :D

Thanks so much for the lovely review! :)


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Review #21, by nott theodore The Burrow (Part II)

31st March 2014:
Hello again!

I really loved seeing Albus and Louis's reactions to Rose and her reception of the news that Scorpius was there. The fact that Albus was running away from 'girl' talk made me laugh, because it felt so in character with what we've seen of him so far. I like the fact that Louis was much more comfortable with it, which makes sense with having two sisters and the fact that he seems to get on better with his female cousins than his male ones too. I felt for Albus here - being stuck between friends (and family, in this case) when a relationship ends is not a pleasant experience, and it's clear that he's struggled a bit with that.

Louis is really perceptive, and I like the fact that there's a male character here who does take notice of things, because I think they're not common enough in fanfiction and that's not really a fair portrayal. He and Rose seem to share that quality to some extent, although Louis seems quieter and less confident than his cousin. I felt even more sorry for Albus when I read about him having trouble with James; he has all the bad luck! But having an older sibling making fun of the younger one is definitely believable, even with their ages, because I think siblings are sometimes more competitive than anyone else.

It was great to hear that Rose and Scorpius's relationship wasn't all sunshine and daisies before the June incident (I'm guessing that Scorpius cheated on her, from what's been said so far), because it's a refreshing change. Rose seems to want to portray herself as the innocent victim but she knows her family members know otherwise and it's interesting to see that the relationship was going badly before any incident.

I feel for Rose as a fellow tall(ish) person! Short people like Molly are not helpful for our self esteem!

I loved the family dynamics in this chapter before the meal, as well. You wrote the amount of people there really well, focusing at the right time on the right people so that it wasn't overwhelming to read about the sheer amount of them! I suspect that a few more people in her family knew about her and Scorpius than she initially thought she was telling - in a family like that, I don't imagine all secrets stay secret for very long :P

The conversation between Rose and Albus was lovely, and I think you captured the dynamic between them really well. They've grown up together and know each other really well, and the joking and reactions at different comments helped to show that, too. I still don't trust Scorpius, though.

At the beginning, I think you're missing a word in this sentence: "but and shuffled his sorry feet inside".

Things seemed to escalate quickly with the Quidditch match, but I thought the build-up was very believable as a cause for what happened at the end of the chapter. I love the fact that Ginny and Harry are so perceptive and trying to make sure that Rose is okay, and Ron's defensive attitude of his daughter coming out in the way he refuses to throw Scorpius the Quaffle - it seems like a very Ron thing to do :P

Ah, Weasley is our king/queen! I loved the way that was built up through that section and that the verses changed to reflect what was happening in the game - I suspect Ron might have been very influential in ensuring the survival of that song! It made me laugh that he could be more confident with all of the younger ones as well, you just seem to have his character captured perfectly in this story!

I don't blame Rose for trying to hit Scorpius in this chapter... if you give someone a bat and tell them they can aim things at anyone on the pitch, I'm sure the ex-boyfriend is going to be a favourite target! Although whoever handed her the bat might have made a bad decision. I felt really sorry for poor Matt here - what an introduction to the family!

Rose's overprotectiveness over her purse was understandable, too (although as a slight Brit-pick, I think you might be referring to what we normally call a bag, as purses are normally just for money), because everything that's happened in the day has been getting her riled up and she's stretched to a point where she can't stand it anymore. All of that build up makes her decision to take the potion again, knowing what would happen this time, more believable.

The switch in point of view to Richard was a change that felt very fitting and appropriate for the narrative. It's interesting that he's about sixteen here (if I've remembered right) because he's carrying himself with such authority and that would be unusual for our time. This was actually the part I was most excited for (I've come to this story straight after finishing TKD, so more Richard is much appreciated!) and I loved the way that he arrived for a more relaxing time and I suspect that it won't be that for him!

The way he referred to Agnes was great, since there are vague suspicions of her being a witch but he'd rather not know - quite a sensible decision really, but I'm really intrigued about what his reaction to Rose being a witch will be. Then his reaction to Rose - this is presumably the first time he meets her, and her appearance must have been really shocking for someone who was so used to the strict codes of conduct at the time, and the way that women should behave, as well as the way people should address him. She's very different to anything he's ever known and I'm so intrigued to see how things will develop between them from here!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hola! :)

You are so amazing for leaving me this crazy long and detailed review, thank you so much love! :D

I'm really glad you liked Albus' reactions and how he didn't want to deal with the girl talk. :P In this story Louis is far more passive and understanding while Albus doesn't like having to listen to or deal with conflict. And Albus is in a pretty unfair situation - he kind of has to stay on Rose's good side because she's his cousin, but he knows that Scorpius isn't the only bad guy in the situation.

I agree! Louis is quite sensitive and observant, and I'm really pleased you picked that out and like that about him. James seems to turn out pretty erratic and all over the place in a lot of my stories, based off of how the brothers were in the prologue. I can certainly imagine James giving Albus a hard time and feeling competitive with one another.

Yes, exactly! There will be more on their relationship, but as the story is from Rose's POV it is a little bias for now.

Typo has been fixed! :D

Okay good, I'm really pleased you thought the Quidditch match made sense. It was quite fun to write and felt like a really Weasley thing to do instead of having to talk to each other. :P I agree, I feel like Ron would hold a grudge no matter what, and Ginny especially would try to be understanding but loyal. It's quite fun to write them as adults. I'm really glad you like how I write Ron, he's just hilarious through Rose's POV, and I especially enjoyed Weasley is our King. :P I really couldn't resist it.

Exactly! Hitting him wouldn't be socially acceptable in any other situation, but what's a girl to do? :P Poor Matt, I did find that quite ironic. He'll be more scared to come back the next time than he already was.

Interesting - I've changed it to bag as well. :) Exactly, she's just pushed to the breaking point. She really wants the adventure now, and she's acting spontaneously.

I know, he's so young! Of course, the times were different and forty was considered old age, especially for girls. :P There's lots and lots of fifteenth century and Richard coming back, which I just really love writing. :)

Yes - I felt that Richard has some knowledge of real-world witchcraft, but in the grand scheme of things he has other things to worry about. He does find Rose quite intriguing, though there is more to his understanding of her. Richard cuts her some slack because of this too, but he's certainly got suspicions.

Thanks so much for the amazing review! I loved it! :D ♥


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Review #22, by nott theodore The Burrow (Part I)

31st March 2014:
*snuggles Play the Devil* I've missed this story so much, can I just have a job reading your stories please?!

The detail and thought that you've put into planning and writing this story never ceases to amaze me - I'm sure you'll get bored of me saying that but you've done such a brilliant job of including tiny details in this story that really make the wizarding world come alive, and you're extremely conscious of the changes that have happened between the period of the books and the time of this story, with the next generation of kids growing up.

I love the fact that Molly was the one who has magically fortified the Burrow and has been the one to make sure it still stands - it's a testament to her power as a witch, I think, which isn't shown often enough. And I loved your description of the Burrow as well.

You can definitely tell that Rose is the older sibling - I like the way that she bribed Hugo with Cauldron Cakes (that makes him sound like his father, thinking with his stomach :P) to do something that she didn't want to, but to make sure she got her own way. The details about Floo travel being more expensive - and the later details about the Wizarding European Union (love this!) and the difficulties of international travel - were really brilliant. I love the fact that even though they've got magic, they don't have a solution for everything and there is an effect from the markets on who can afford certain things.

The mentions of Arthur with the beginning effects of dementia were really sad, and they reminded me of your story Grizzled; the fact that you're not ignoring the effects that age can have is really moving, and it's something I don't often see in stories that include older characters - everyone seems to age as well as Dumbledore. It's really heart-breaking to think of Arthur deteriorating like that, and I think the idea of Angelina, Harry and Hermione being the ones to confront and accept the issue is believable since it isn't their father they have to think of - they can be more objective. I liked the humour that you included as well, with the sneaky nod to Draco and Hermione :P

The competition between all the different cousins (or some of them, anyway) makes sense to me - I think with the personalities as you've described them, and the closeness in ages and things like that, they're likely to feel some competition between the different cousins. Another aspect which is great is the fact that different cousins have different relationships with each other, and some are closer than others.

It was great getting the background on them all; Slytherin Lucy sounded sneaky even before I got to the end of this chapter! And I can't wait to meet Dom and Steak - that's such an hilarious name! She sounds like a really funny character.

I really like the relationship between Louis and Rose and their easy friendship, as well as Albus coming in and being afraid to tell Rose the bad news about what had happened. Roxy seemed like a really vivacious girl, and I'm impressed with how brave she was to travel alone like that when she's still quite young. I imagine that she might have some adventures in the future!

The background about the Malfoys was really interesting, too, and it was good to find out more about how Rose and Scorpius ended up coming together, in spite of all the enmity between the two families. It makes sense to me that the families weren't friends but had to some extent agreed to live peacefully and generally stayed out of each other's way - the point about Ron disliking Malfoy more for his slurs on Hermione than anything else rings really true for me.

I'm so curious about the incident in June with Scorpius and I hope we get to find out what happened soon. I'm also intrigued about why on earth he's turned up to the Burrow to crash the family gathering (not cool at all, Scorpius!) - and with Lucy... And we get to see Richard again!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hello! :)

I'm so excited about these reviews, thank you! :D I always love hearing your thoughts on this story.

I'm so pleased to hear you like the little details and background - I do love writing those parts so it's great to hear you notice it all. :) I find the development of the wizarding world so interesting and really enjoy writing about it.

Yes! I love Molly, and feel like she and Arthur were a formidable team who worked really hard in building their home. I was really excited to write a scene at the Burrow because the whole clan is just so fun.

Haha, Rose drags Hugo into her schemes quite often, and they definitely have one another's back. And that's just how I feel about things like Floo and Apparating - it's just way too easy, and I feel obliged in stories like this to make that more complicated, and Floo being expensive is one way that can work.

Dementia is a theme which shows up in a lot of my stories, and I like to include some mention of eldercare and the challenges of having an ageing family member as it's something which is very familiar to me. I'm really pleased you liked that part and thought it was interesting. I agree - I felt like Ron especially would refuse to accept the fact that his parents weren't young and healthy anymore. Hehe, I just couldn't resist the Dramione mention.

I agree about the cousins, and it's way more fun to write with some conflict between the family members. I feel like the Weasley cousins would be exposed to one another more than some families because they did all go to the same school, so there would be bound to be some drama.

Dominique and Steak are worming their way into my other stories as well! They're just hilarious. :P

I'm really glad you like Rose's relationships with the guys. And yes, Roxy in this story is very brave and confident - just a lovely person really.

I'm glad you like all the information about the Malfoys - it dragged on a little, but I felt like it was important to explain the context of Rose and Scorpius getting together. Aw, I'm so glad you liked that detail about Ron defending Hermione - Ron's such a defensive person, and I felt he really adored Hermione and would get angry when somebody turned against her - even though he's not always the nicest to her.

I promise to reveal the story... someday. :P It's definitely written, though might not be posted for a little while. Yeah, he's sort of shoving his way in right now. And Richard! More of him coming, yay! :)

Thanks so much for the lovely review, dear! ♥


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Review #23, by Aphoride Rose

29th March 2014:
Hey there - ah, I'm so excited to come back to this story! I was torn between this one and your Pied Piper story, but I chose this one in the end, since I'd already started reading/reviewing it :P

I love the information about her job and how she didn't do as well as expected in exams and feels so much pressure to live up to her mother - at least, that's what I got from it. It's so easy, I think, to forget that they'd have grown up with their parents' reputations over their heads, and that it's a lot to bear as a kid. It's an interesting characterisation of Rose, too - and not one I've seen very often so I like it! :)

Mahaha, yeah summer jobs aren't usually great! Poor Rose... though, ooh, the time turner article in the newspaper... how she goes back in time? And the skull, I'm guessing, is Richard? Aww, love at first sight - not! :P

Hermione and Ron are just so brilliantly characterised, as well. I love how Ron's content to work a fairly boring, low-level Auror job, because it's a change after the war, whereas Hermione likes to be busy and has a high-flying career and all. It's so typical, and really nice to see Ron not quite Harry's second-in-command and things. It works so well with their characters! And Ron blowing up the coffee maker was hilarious!

I loved the last scene so much - with Richard. I love how you explained his character, and didn't tell us who he was immediately, but let us work it out and gradually come to realise his identity. It was such a clever way to do it! I love the details you've put in here, too - with mentioning his brothers, and English legends he was told as a child and things, because they're such great period details! So far, he seems like a pretty nice guy :P And I like how you haven't portrayed him as openly evil or ugly or anything like that... it's interesting and I'm so curious to see how he develops through this.

Speaking of details, all your details, really, in this are beautiful. There's so much in this, but it doesn't overwhelm the plot or the pace or bog it down, you know - somehow you manage to find that perfect balance! :)

I'm so excited with this story - I've missed it, strangely - and I really, really want to read on! Hopefully I'll be back soon! ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Ah, well I'm glad you chose this one! :D I really love getting your feedback on it!

I'm so glad you liked the portrayal of Rose as a bit of an underachiever and not living up to what her mother wants for her. Rose is very much her own person and not a copy of either of her parents, and she makes a lot of mistakes sometimes. Also, she is only eighteen and to enter the workforce and find a career at that age would be quite a lot to ask, and Rose isn't quite as ambitious as her mother would like - this only makes me like her more, however. :P

Haha, agreed! Hmm, interesting guess - it certainly has something to do with her adventures. I love reading people's reactions to the skull, it's so creepy but kind of cool at the same time. She definitely wasn't bowled over by his good looks this first time around! :P

Okay, it's so nice to hear you like how I wrote the parents. They intimidate me, and I don't think I could do them justice in Hogwarts-era. Hermione especially is based on my own mum since they have very similar personalities in some ways. I never imagined Ron or Harry for that matter being particularly ambitious or dedicated to boring work in the way Hermione is, so I'm glad you like him here. :)

Richard! Thank you, I'm pleased you liked how he was introduced. I really like working on the period details and how superstitious the people would have been. I'm excited for you to see him grow and change - he's one of those characters I just love to explore and see how people react to him.

Thank you! I'm so glad to hear that - I sometimes get a bit too heavy-handed with detail and description so it's lovely to get such positive feedback.

Thank you so much for the amazing review! :D


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Review #24, by Penelope Inkwell The Burrow (Part II)

20th March 2014:
ďAlbus looked uncomfortable: he and Scorpius had actually been quite chummy during the year and a half we were together, and the pair had often spent time on their own when I wasnít around.ď
--Poor Albus. Oh, the awkwardness when we make friends with our family/friendsí significant others, only to be in really uncomfortable straits when they break up.

Louis is very observant. I like how you really built that trait in him up over several chapters, though, before just announcing it here and then adding in mentions of his observant-ness from here on out. I felt like Iíve noticed it about him before. What Iím saying is, a lot of writers use these moments as a sort of crutch to describe the key characteristics of their characters, but you didnít. It was already there. And thatís good writing.

ďBut donít you think youíd prefer to be polite, and calm and relaxed, and not let him ruin this glorious night with your beloved extended family?Ē
--Excellent advice, Louis darling, but why do I have a feeling that it isnít exactly going to work out that way?

ďHe had opinions about the break-up which I refused to hear about: opinions that maybe Scorpius had dealt the final blow, but that we had been fighting and acting immature for months; that I wasnít always the nicest girlfriend either. But Scorpius had lost his right to pity after what he did, and my cousins Ė well, at least these two cousins Ė were obligated to see my side and my side alone.Ē
--Iím assuming that he cheated? That seems the direction that this is all going. But I like that, deep down, she knows that even though what he did was worse, the problems in their relationship were a two-way street. Itís a nice change-up from the ďspotless victimĒ coming out of a breakup.

ďPart of my irritation towards Molly was that she was so bloody short: being around short people made me feel hulking and awkward.Ē
--Hahaha, Rose, the teller of the truths we never want to admit! Iím not even tall. Probably slightly below average height. But I know that when Iím with my tinier friends, I feel like Iím some sort of behemoth, so I canít even imagine what it must be like to be truly tall and feel that all the time. And then, taller people make me feel 5 years old. We just canít win--none of us, huh?

ďThe rest of Georgeís siblings had been called into the kitchen to help Nan prepare supper: apparently, she didnít trust her fifth son around hot things or around other peopleís meals. ď
--Another detail that I love. Smart woman, that Molly Weasley.

-ďAlbus stared at my enviously. ďI wish I could do that.Ē
-ďWhat? Be an expert in classes you arenít even enrolled in?Ē
-He scowled. ďNo. Raise one eyebrow at a time.Ē

--Hahahaha. Love this exchange. I spent years trying to learn how to raise one eyebrow because my older brother can do it so well. Thatís probably the most exercised muscle in my entire body, just from all the time I spent as a child trying to get it right ;) Sigh. Heís still way better at it.

I really like Rose and Alís dynamic. Theyíre snarky and sassy and itís cute.

Yay! Quidditch! And good work with the songs. They made me smile, especially Roseís.

Oh, poor Rose. Of course, she did handle that poorly, but I think I can understand why. I mean, if you gave me a stick and told me I could hit projectiles in the direction of an ex-boyfriend who had hurt me like that, could I resist? Probably not. In fact, my family would probably be shocked at my sudden development of athletic prowess. At least she didnít put Scorpius in traction at St. Mungoís right? Poor Matt, though. Welcome to the fam!

And yay! Run from your problems by escaping into the past, which is probably illegal per both the government and the laws of space and time! But itís so romantic.
...perhaps...I should not be giving Rose this advice. But I really want her to see Richard again! A little bending of the laws of space and time never hurt anyone. Or, at least, it was never proven to.

Oh, poor Richard, too. Heís been through such awful things. Itís nice to see his devotion to the king (his cousin, right?). But his brother sounds like he could be a bit of a problem. My War of the Roses knowledge is a little bit rusty, and I donít want to go and look it up, because spoilers. Really, really old spoilers!

Woah, how did Rose met that old woman? Is she a witch, too? Sheís got ďstrange powersĒ and all. 

Richard! Ugh. Poor choice. Youíd better be back, mister. When someone travels across hundreds of years to pay you a visit, you owe them some courtesy, sir!

Well, I suppose he has just been on a rather long journey. I get tired when I travel, too, and I donít usually do it by horse. So thereís that. Still, Iím hoping to get a bit more Richard-Rose togetherness time in the next chapter!


CC:
ďAt the mention of self-esteem I saw Al take a little step back as if it was too much for him to handle.Ē
--Not sure I totally get this statement? Itís not, like, tampons. Why is a self-esteem discussion something that makes Al want to scurry?


ďBut I was first accosted by Auntie Angelina, who was lovely at the worst of times and wanted to hear all about my job and how I was getting on with Hazlehurst, who she said sheíd known at school with an amused grin on her face. ď
--You might consider rearranging this sentence and not putting the ďwith an amused grin on her faceĒ at the tail end, just because it kind of makes the sentenceís meaning murkier. Does that make sense? Itís not like itís unclear what it means, but I did have to read it twice. However, once again, weíre getting into super picky territory. Iím always in super picky territory with your stories, because theyíre so well-written.


Another excellent chapter. SO excited to see what awaits these two! I must gain this knowledge, posthaste! Love it love it love it!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi again! :)

Ah, I know! Especially since they were in the same year, I imagined things would get quite awkward. And also, while Rose villian-izes (no idea if that's actually a word, oh well :P) Scorpius, he's definitely not the only one at fault here, and Albus is sort of aware of that.

Thank you! :) I'm so glad you noticed that, and it's certainly a trait that Louis and Rose share. I imagine Louis as being usually rather perceptive as well, though he didn't really catch on to what was going on between Rose and Archie. And haha, despite this it doesn't mean Rose will take his advice of course. :P

Yes! Even though Rose acts like Scorpius is the bad guy, so to speak, she's not entirely innocent either. It gets revealed a little more in future chapters, but I did try to put in more hints about how Rose wasn't always the nicest to Scorpius either. My philosophy on this is that people like them don't do bad things completely out of the blue.

None of us can win! :P That was a little insensitive of Rose to say, but it's the kind of thing she would worry about and that I think a lot of us tall-ish folk have to think about. But yes, being short would have its effects as well!

Haha, I imagine that George as an adult wouldn't be too different from George as a young man. :P

Haha! I totally agree, I wish I could raise one eyebrow flawlessly. It's a wicked skill. I can sort of do it if I concentrate really hard, but I agree, it's the sort of thing which is very enviable.

I'm glad you like Al and Rose! I imagine them being best friends from the cradle and having an almost brother-sister relationship as well as being best friends. The Quidditch songs were so fun to write - I wasn't sure if they really fit the chapter but honestly couldn't resist. I will never forgive that they weren't in the movies - though there might have been a deleted scene, hmm.

I agree! And the bad thing about being a Beater is that you're supposed to be hitting Bludgers at the other team, so she can get away with it for a little while. And hahaha, the Matt moment sort of made me cringe to be honest. The poor guy - he's actually pretty nice!

Hehe, well I needed to get her back into the past somehow, and it's the sort of impulsive decision she makes when she's annoyed and upset and not really thinking. :) I'm glad you're rooting for her to get there, despite it being illegal! And well... it's only the beginning, so if there are consequences, Rose won't realize them for a long time.

Can I just say I love how you don't want to look up history because history is spoilers? :P Hehe. I'll just explain that part quickly in case you didn't look it up though - he has two brothers, his eldest one is the current king and the one he seems to rather worship. :) His other brother is also older but is a bit of a troublemaker. :)

I agree, traveling from London on horseback would be exhausting! To be fair, he does have to do that all the time so he really shouldn't be complaining that much. Right now he's sort of being a jerk and assuming that she's a peasant and he doesn't need to waste time on her - people were just lovely back in those days! But he might come around, we'll see. :P

Thanks so much for pointing those out, I've just gone and clarified/fixed them.:)

Thanks so much for the lovely reviews, darling! :) I really appreciate each of them and you're always so thoughtful and detailed. Thank you! ♥


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Review #25, by Penelope Inkwell The Burrow (Part I)

20th March 2014:
"Floo powder used to travel to other locations was quite pricey and Mum insisted we only use it in emergencies, grumbling about inflation and unnecessary spending. ď
--Youíve really thought through a lot of details of wizarding government and economics, havenít you? Iíve never really thought about the price of Floo powder, though it does make sense that it would be pricey. Then again, these people donít have to pay for gasoline. Donít come crying to me, wizards with your easy, emission-free transportation. But there was a bit about housing stuff in the last chapter. How did you become interested in thinking out all those details? How fascinating.

Glad to hear that Dudleyís children apparently turned out alright!

How very sad about Mr. Weasley. Iíve a good bit of experience with dementia, and itís really one of the worst challenges that can face a family. It makes me sad to think of him that way, but I do like how very real youíve made this family. They face the same sort of problems that we all do. Magic doesnít always mean a quick fix, and that helps Rose to be more of a sympathetic character. Sure, there are wonders in her life, but sheís also a pretty normal girl.

"Dominique was a wild-card: nobody knew when she would show up and with which beard-sporting, guitar-case carrying boyfriend in tow with odd names like Sven and Jangles and Steak. Yes, ďSteak.Ē
--Oh my gosh, dying. These details--these are the ones that kill me! Now that I think on it, itís a miracle that no one in my family married someone named along those same lines. Iím pretty sure some of them came close.

ďOh, lau it,Ē
--Havenít heard that one. Where does that come from?

LOVE the little details in this, like Nearly Headless Nick lying for Roseís sake (that seems very him), and that Hagridís next dog was named Molar (please tell me his litter included a ďCanine" and ďIncisorĒ?) And IS HE CHEWING ON THE TRANSFIGURED BODY OF BARTY CROUCH SR.?!

Scorpius, you do NOT crash your ex-girlfriendís family party at her familyís house. It just isnít done. Isnít there some sort of wizarding Emily Post to warn you off of these situations? You should know better.


CC:

I donít have anything specific, like misspellings or words in the wrong place. If I had to give something, it would be that this chapter is a little bit slow. Thereís a lot of background information, much of which is necessary, and I liked learning what the family was up to. But, just for pacing, it might be worth considering to cut out a short anecdote or two. Maybe cutting down the Malfoys background section, for instance? This whole critique is getting quite picky, of course, because the chapter is well-written. But if you WANT to be really picky, that would be my best suggestion to improve this chapter.

It was fun to hear all the background, though. Perhaps instead of cutting things, a few little descriptions/anecdotes could just be moved to different parts of the story, instead of having a whole chapter that is basically devoted to exposition.

Once again, itís a good chapter. This is just the whole, ďIf I had to find one thing to polish, this would be it,Ē sort of thing. I had a lot of fun reading it, and Iím really impressed with how much detail youíve given the backstory here. Youíve really thought through everyone in the family, which is, like, super impressive, because there are 10 million and 2 people in the Weasley family. Your ability to keep all that straight and introduce it in an organized fashion is impressive :D

Looking forward to Rose time traveling soon, since Richard is going to have a strange visitor!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hello! :) Ah, sorry for taking so long in replying to your amazing review - life has been crazy. :(

I'm so happy that you noticed that and liked it! In scenes like this I end up venting my concerns about how easy it is to be a wizard with transportation and possibly not having to pay Muggle taxes and things, so I try to make it as difficult for them as possible. :P If Floo powder was that easy and cheap, then why would they even bother using a car ever, so it makes sense to give some disadvantages to it and Apparition. And yeah, they don't have to deal with petrol, that is so true!

Aw, yeah! I'd love to read/write a story about how the next generation of Dursleys turned out sometime.

I'm pleased you found Arthur's dementia something which felt realistic in the family. I have experience with it on both sides of my family and it really affects so many people, and I think it adds a more serious dimension into the family. Rose is quite normal, and I'm glad you think so!

Hahaha, after writing this I decided I love Dominique and Steak so much that they leaked into my Louis-centered story as well! :P Which isn't otherwise connected... ah well.

When I lived in England a few years ago they would say "lau it" as sort of meaning "oh, forget it" or "nevermind." I'm not sure if they say it in other regions but I thought it was a good way of expressing themselves - sometimes I'll throw it into conversation here in Canada, but the Canadians are just confused.

Yes, Nick was quite fond of Rose... :). And Molar! Hahah, those are excellent names for adorable little boarhound puppies. Now I can't stop thinking of weird dog names to do with teeth. And ew about the Barty's bone thing, well... presumably it might still be there... :P

Scorpius... yeah, occasional recklessness is something he shares with Rose. :P

That's such a good point about these chapters, I definitely got a bit carried away with the background. Description and context is my Achilles heel. :P Hmm, it might be a bit late for this chapter but I'll see what I can do, and keep that in mind. I know that Chapter 21 has a big chunk of backstory, but it's sort of relevant, but I'll see what I can do. :) Thanks so much for pointing that out!

Thank you for the awesome review! :D


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