Reading Reviews for Dragons of Dawn
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by kenpo Newt Scamander

28th September 2014:
Hello! I'm here for the Story Search Round 1!

I haven't read much Newt, which is a shame because he's such a fascinating character!

I think that you did a really nice job with showing how quirky he is. His family relations did make me a little sad, it would nice if he had a little more support, or at least understanding. THe end did show that there is closeness there, which was a nice touch.

The description of the little baby dragon was adorable!! Can I take one home with me? But... you know... I don't want a Norbert situation on my hands... maybe that's not the best idea ever.

Something about the lemon drops made me giggle. I'm not sure what. He's out on this expedition, but he needs to have lemon drops! That reminds me-one thing I was confused about was where was he staying? Did he have a camp set up on the mountain, or way he staying somewhere else? It isn't a detail completely necessary in the story, but I would've liked to have gotten that information.

The ending was sweet. I'm glad that he didn't take the dragon! It was a nice way to wrap up the story.

-Georgia

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Review #2, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Newt Scamander

4th January 2014:
Hey, it's Sam, here to review your entry for my Supernatural Creature Challenge.

Newt and dragons. It was such a cool story. I don't really read stories about Newt Scamander, mostly because I give up looking after a while, so if they're here I've missed them. So, I was very excited when I read the summary and knew I was going to read a story about him. Because of this, it's very easy to see him acting and sounding as you write him - he's very... aware of his crazy plans, which I like very much. Like, he knows what he wants and he goes for it, even if it's mad.

Newt tried not to think. It interfered with him being nuts. - My favorite line in the story. It was so perfectly awesome.

I'm very glad his conscience caught up with him at the end and he let the baby dragon go. It was such a sweet ending to this, I loved it. And I agree, mums are always right. They know everything.

The manager should definitely be fired!

This was a great entry! Thank you for entering!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hey Sam!

Newt is a pretty obscure character to write about but extremely fun, nevertheless. I've only read one other story revolving around Newt a long time ago. I've even forgotten its name. Anyway, when I saw the opportunity to include Newt I grabbed it. And voila :)

It was important to convey that Newt despite all his crazy plans has a heart. I'd like to think that it was this perfect combination of his ambition and conscience that made him the world famous magizoologist he is today.

I'm really glad that you liked the ending. My mother spent quite a few days rubbing this in my face, but it was totally worth it. I'm just grateful to her wonderful insight that I'm sure every other mother possesses. It's gotten me out of a few nasty situations.

For some reason I always take pleasure in writing these nasty characters, just like the manager. He was so comical in my mind, the stereotypical power-hungry man.

Thank you so much not only for this review but for the amazing challenge you created. I had a lot of fun writing this story and I hope that you had an equal amount of fun reading it!


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Review #3, by DracoFerret11 Newt Scamander

7th December 2013:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums! I saw that you were also participating in the "Supernatural Creatures Challenge" and figured I would come and check out your entry! So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: So, there were just a few issues in the actual story (that I forgot to write down, sorry!), and I'm sure a once-over will help you catch those. Also, the word "failures" is misspelled in your summary. Other than those, great!

Plot: Okay! Well, I like the mythos you've set up here. Good job creating a creature that is new and interesting. But it could be better-explained. DOES the dragon bring the dawn or not? And why has no one seen these in a million years, but Newt interacts with one the very first time he tries? There seems to be something missing from that explanation. But I think the dragon was cute, and the idea was good! Just be a bit more explanatory in your basis.

Characterization: I think your Newt is great! He's believable and sweet, and I loved the ending where he let the dragon go. But why didn't he just take a picture or something? And the one line that seemed a bit off was when he thought of Muggles as "useless" (or something like that). That seems a bit out of character.

Descriptions: I loved the description of the tiny dragon! SO CUTE. I want one! And you did a good job of giving details of how cold Newt was on the mountain. Where was he staying on the expedition? Did he have a tent or did he go somewhere else and just trek all the way back up the mountain every day?

Emotions: I thought it was odd that Newt's mother was so negative about his job, seeing that his father was also a naturalist of some sort. I know he's a bit out-there, but that was sad for me. :/ But I loved Newt's own emotions and him freeing the dragon at the end.

Interactions: I think the scene between Newt and his manager was a bit odd. Also, it was a little unclear that Jack is his PUBLICITY manager, so you might want to add that word in when he's introduced to clarify.

Overall, this was really sweet and I liked your plot very much. I hope my CC doesn't sound too harsh or anything! Great job and good luck in the challenge!

--Emily

Author's Response: I am so frustrated with myself right now. I've been trying to respond to this amazing review seven times but my own stupidity and unfortunate timing hasn't permitted me to do so. Now with a full battery on my laptop, I shall post this response!
I absolutely loved this challenge. It was so much of fun to write! I read your entry 'Eighteen Pleats', I think and it was gorgeous. Good Luck to you too!

I also like this style of reviewing, breaking down the story into its literary parts really makes it easier for me to know what to improve. I'll answer this in parts too.

Grammar/Spelling: I'm really bad at proofreading my work to the extent where I always consider getting a beta. I'll read through the story once more and fix them!

Plot: I'm glad that you liked the dragon. Perhaps it was just sheer coincidence that Newt saw it. He's been known to get quite lucky on his expeditions. It wasn't like he just touched down in Japan and a second later saw the dragon. He had been walking for hours trying to find and was just on the verge of giving up. It's like Thomas Edison says, "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up."
Newt didn't give up. He kept walking and walking all day. I will try and fix the rest of the inconsistencies to the best of my ability.

Characterization: I'm happy you liked Newt! Keeping in mind that Newt was a Headmaster before Dumbledore and is thereby extremely old, I wasn't sure whether cameras had been invented yet. That was why he didn't take a picture. I think my use of the word 'useless' wasn't very good. What I intended to portray was that Newt couldn't imagine how people could survive without magic. He couldn't believe that juggles could actually do things without wands. It's an old-fashioned way of thinking, but I thought that it would fit with his small knowledge of the muggle world. He's too busy discovering the mysteries in the Wizarding World to acknowledge the change the Muggle World has gone through.

Description: Hm, that's something I didn't really think about. I guess I was so caught up with the main plot that I didn't really focus on details like where he was staying. Thanks for pointing that out and I'll do my best to fix it!

Emotions: As I mentioned in the story, Newt's mother was now a widower (I'm not sure whether this was actually true or not, but I included it in the story) meaning that her husband might have been killed on one of his expeditions (which seems highly likely considering that Newt and his sister are young, so he too must not have been very old). His death obviously had a huge impact on the family, with Newt's sister burying herself with work and I felt that the mother had every right being apprehensive of taking up his father's work as he too was putting his life at risk. She couldn't bear losing her son. Newt was used to her worrying that she disguised by constantly berating him and used the strong values that she had instilled in him to do the right thing.

Interactions: I'm sorry to hear that the interactions were a bit odd. I am though a bit unclear on how I should be fixing that. I will definitely use the word publicity manager. I hope that clears up things for future readers.

Thanks so much for taking the time and effort to write such a helpful review. I am happy that you enjoyed the plot and, once again, good luck to you too!


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Review #4, by patronus_charm Newt Scamander

18th November 2013:
Hey, Iím here with your requested review!

This story was really cute for some reason! I liked the way Newt was viewed in so many different ways and you started off with introducing the different viewpoints as it really gave me a full idea of him before reading which isnít something people always manage to do in one-shots.

The frequent references to his mother and family in general was another great touch. It just gave me a fuller idea of Newt inside of my head and helped me understand his reasoning a lot more at the end. I really liked how we could see directly how she had impacted upon his life as that was really nice and showed how awesome mumís are. Plus, it just made the ending really, really adorable with the way Newt went with heart and decided to work with nature to improve rather than against it for publicity.

Ooh, small note but the backstory behind the dragon was really great and enjoyable to read as it made me value the importance more. But the main thing was how you didnít just throw it in but it felt as if it was meant to be there really.

I thought your descriptions within this were really great. I really got a feel for the dynamic landscape and the baby dragon itself. It was quite unusual description from what I usually see at times such as here ĎEyes of onyx, talons of ruby and barely reached Newtís knee. Ď it was just really vivid and made me view the dragon in a different way.

Iím really eager to know what happens to Newt afterwards though as to whether his boss is angry with him or not or whether he can go another mission, I hope everything works out for him!

I have a two small Britpicks which you can you ignore if you want. :) Instead of knapsack we say rucksack and for candy we tend to use sweets instead. Then there were a couple of cases of where you missed spaces between full stops and the succeeding word and incorrect capitalisation, so only really minor things to improve upon. Then again, they were so minor if you donít want to edit it shouldnít matter too much.

Great one-shot!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Terribly sorry for taking so long to respond, it seemed like real life had other plans for me. (Insert eye roll)
Anyway, I'm happy that you enjoyed this cute little one shot, it was certainly a lot of fun to write :)
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement especially regarding the description and backstories. You've analyzed Newt's character perfectly! He's a momma's boy through and through. Family is clearly the most important thing to him except for his fantastic beasts.
I wonder what happened to Newt when he returned home too. His boss probably would have gotten pretty mad, but I don't think Newt would have particularly cared.
Britpicks! Thanks for those! I'll edit them into the story asap. Thanks again for this awesome review :)


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Review #5, by Leonore Newt Scamander

18th November 2013:
Here for Blue and Bronze!

I've never read a story about Newt before, but particularly considering the challenge it fits. I'd expect Newt to take a camera, but actually maybe it's set too early before they were invented.

The Lemon Drops were a nice touch. And this:
"Newt tried not to think. It interfered with him being nuts."
Love that line!

I really like the fact that he does what he wants to, regardless of what other people think and not caring for profit. He loves the animals, and is willing to pass up and opportunity like that. You get across the impression of an enthusiastic amateur, which he is at this stage.

One tense inconsistency:
> They may be useless in all other aspects but muggles sure KNOW how to make candy <

Love the story, love your style.

Leonore

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for the lovely review!

Everyone seems to love that line, which sadly was a stroke of Rick Riordan's genius. Not mine :(
Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Newt is an enthusiastic amateur with a craze for fantastic beasts. The dangerous the better. I think that even though he considers himself to be able to do what he wants, his mother's words do have a bit of an influence over him.

Ooh a camera! Never thought of that one. I suppose that Newt is a bit old for that (I mean he was older than Dumbledore so yeah cameras were probably invented a little later). I'll fix that tense mix up right now, thanks for pointing that out!



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Review #6, by Lululuna Newt Scamander

14th November 2013:
Hi there! :) I'm here to review your entry for the Unexpected Voice challenge- thanks so much for entering!

I loved this. Despite all the excitement about the new Fantastic Beasts movie coming out I hadn't thought much about Newt, and this was a wonderful exploration into his character. The little details about his mother disapproving of his missions and his love for lemon drops really added to the story. You really gave him such a dynamic, quirky, amusing personality which made me both laugh at him and want to meet him. This line was awesome:

Newt tried not to think. It interfered with him being nuts.

I like how he can just admit that he's nuts and prefers to stay that way: he seems to unique and original. I also enjoyed how when he saw the dragon, his first response was to close his eyes in disbelief, which doesn't seem like a very rational thing to do when dealing with a potentially dangerous creature! I'm impressed he survived this long, though hopefully he's learned form his mistakes. It would be interesting to know how this encounter with the dragon would affect his future crazy expeditions in the future.

Jack Nichols seems like quite the character as well! I loved the dynamic between them and the description of Jack as a bull in a bullfight was prime and gave me such amusing mental pictures. I actually have a strong liking for flat secondary characters whose role in the story is just to be outraged or on repeat about something, and Jack fit that amusing role perfectly.

The baby dragon of dawn sounded adorable! For Newt's sake, it's probably a good thing we didn't meet the mother. I was proud of him for letting it remain there in the wilderness, though soaking the lemon drops in Sleeping potion was rather ingenious. The descriptions of the dragon were really great and I imagine it would look so pretty in the snow of the mountains.

I love how the story came back to Newt's mother and how he thought about what she would say if she were there. It was very cute and set him up as this quirky Mama's boy who I just adored.

This was a wonderful and lovely read, and thanks so much for giving me such an awesome entry! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for this awesome review and an equally amazing challenge! I had loads of fun writing this story and I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Newt Scamander is an interesting character. Although we know all about the obscure creatures he discovered, we don't know much about his personality. Somehow, I had mentally pictured him as a Dumbledore-type character, full of secrets and intriguing quirks rather than a vicious beast hunter. Looking back, I'm actually quite proud of the Newt I created :)

Ah, the line that you've quoted is one that I cannot, unfortunately, take credit for. It's a slightly modified version of Rick Riordan's sentence (hence my entering the Rick Riordan Challenge) and is mentioned in his book, The Lost Hero. I'm glad you liked it though, it really seemed to suit the Newt that I had come up with.

I should think that Newt has learnt from this particular expedition, especially some valuable lessons about not tampering too much with Nature. He should consider himself really lucky that the dragon's mum hadn't arrived at the scene! He would have been roasted marshmallow by now ;)

Thank you so much for this review!


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Review #7, by 800 words of heaven Newt Scamander

6th November 2013:
Hello! Here with your requested review!

What a lovely and sweet story! I'm sitting here, taking a little break from my exam studying and squeeing at the cuteness!

I loved the tone of this piece! It was lighthearted and humorous without being in-your-face about it! I loved that feeling. I think my favourite line was "Newt tried not to think. It interfered with him being nuts."

In terms of characterisation, I thought Newt was such a sweetheart. I loved the way you showed him at the beginning as being all about the fame and fortune being a means to an end, but at the end, his good heart, empathy and love and respect for his mother allowed him to make the right choice. It was all very adorable.

As far as flow goes, I thought it was okay. The pacing was good, and I felt that by giving us just a snapshot of Newt's mission, it added to the adventurous spirit. The flashbacks were a nice touch and gave us an insight into Newt's mind, which was wonderful.

Obviously, I really enjoyed this story! I'd love to find out more about Newt's crazy adventures! Thanks for requesting!

Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad that this gave you an enjoyable break from studying! There are times when an author just wants to let their hair down and write something simple, funny and borderline fluffy. This was one of those times for me and I'm thrilled that it paid off.

I'm really happy that you found Newt a sweetheart because that's exactly what he is and hopefully you will be seeing more of him in my stories to come :)

Thank you for this absolutely motivating review!


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Review #8, by academica Newt Scamander

5th November 2013:
Hi, here with another requested review :)

This was a cute little story. I like your characterization of Newt in that he's not just an adventurer, like he's often portrayed. He struggled a little with his decision at the end and made a difficult choice in order to avoid disappointing his mother. Again, I think your story is somewhat unique in that we usually see Newt in isolation or in relation to other male family members, like Rolf. But I like that you talked about his mother and sister and how he fit into the family with them.

I also liked your imagery and the light sort of writing style you employed here. Your description of the legend and the way Newt was preoccupied with his lemon drops made for a cute plot line. I'm curious about how Newt would have gone on from here to become such a famous naturalist--I think the key is your line about how his mother would want him to follow his dreams, even the unconventional ones, as long as he didn't hurt anyone else in the process. Hopefully she would accept his decision to lead an adventurous life.

The one thing that seemed a bit off to me was the very beginning. You went from sort of a broad, break-the-fourth-wall approach in describing how people feel about Newt's character to dropping us in and going on an adventure with him. I would recommend altering the perspective there slightly so that you talk more about how his peers and neighbors saw him as a person--the change can probably be accomplished by just avoiding use of the word "character" and leaving out mentions that this is a story (i.e., just drop us right into the setting). I'd also recommend watching the abrupt change from present to past tense there. Consistency is usually best with tenses.

Nice job! I hope this review is helpful to you!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Wow, thanks again for a wonderful review!

I'm glad you liked Newt's characterization, he was a fun character to write about. The main thing that I'd like to emphasis in the story is that Newt Scamander was not just an ordinary magizoologist. He actually cared about the creatures he tracked down and did not want to put them in harm. It sort of brings about a sense of compassion the possessed under influence of his mother. She instilled the right values in him, that no matter what career he chose he would make ethical decisions. That was probably the best gift she could ever give him.

I'm happy that you liked the story and will take into account your advice about keeping the tenses constant. These are things that I don't notice in my hurry to write the story, so I greatly appreciate your constructive criticism!


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Review #9, by AlexFan Newt Scamander

4th November 2013:
Ah I've finally gotten around to reviewing this! I think you used the quote that I gave you in a great way! It definitely worked for your version of Newt Scamander and it fit his personality perfectly.

I liked the narration going on, you managed to fit in background information about Newt so that the reader got to know him while at the same time, you managed to tell a story. Now I don't know about you, but that's a difficult thing to pull off in my opinion and you did it brilliantly.

I especially loved the ending because, even though I don't know much about Newt Scamander, letting that dragon go seems like something that he would do. And I agree with you, mom's have a scary tendency to always be right.

Author's Response: Hey! I'm really glad that you think I used the quote effectively :)

Newt Scamander is a character I've been itching to write a story about and your wonderful challenge gave me the inspiration (ahem, forced me to get over my amazing ability to procrastinate) to do so. I'm happy that you liked Newt's character. Thanks for all your compliments!

Haha, Mothers do have the tendency to always be right, don't they? Mine insists on reminding me of that every now and then. Still love her loads, though :)

Thank you so much for reviewing and for creating such an awesome challenge. I had a great time writing this story!


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Review #10, by Haronione Newt Scamander

3rd November 2013:
Aw, this was a lovely little one-shot :) Really sweet and unique too! I really enjoyed it.

I loved the introductory paragraph with the different views of Newt, it was a great opening to the story and introduction to the character. I have never thought much about Newt Scamander, but I really liked the Newt Scamander you have portrayed here :)

I've never heard of Dragons of Dawn before but I really like the thought that they are responsible for the rise and setting of the sun :) and they sound like beautiful creatures! I really liked Newt's thought process about the baby dragon and how this led him to make the right decision! It really made me smile :) I love how at the start he thinks of his mother as condescending and then when he see's the dragon's 'innocent beauty' he see's his mother differently and agrees with her :)

There were a couple of lines I really loved - 'They may be useless in all other aspects but muggles sure knew how to make candy really made me giggle, and I love lemon drops so can understand why he would think this whilst eating them ;) - 'Newt tried not to think. It interfered with him being nuts' again, really made me giggle.

This was really well written and there were no mistakes that stood out to me! It flowed really well and the plot was fantastic :) Overall, a great read!! Good luck with the challenges!

Haronione ♥

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you enjoyed the story!

Newt Scamander is an obscure character in the books and with the new movie coming up, I thought it would be interesting to write a story from his perspective. I'm really glad that you liked his character :)

The Dragons of Dawn are actually mythical creature I created off the top of my head. One of my rare moments of inspiration, you could say. That's probably why you've never heard of them before :P

The whole point of this story is to show how Newt is different from the regular magizoologists who study magical creatures for purely scientific purposes. Newt actually cares about the creatures and I like to think that that was what made him so successful.

I'm glad some of the lines made you laugh, it gives me confidence that my sense of humor isn't as non-existent as I thought it was. The second line you've quoted, however, I cannot take full credit for. It's actually a quote by Rick Riordan given to me by AlexFan for the challenge. I've slightly modified it to fit the story, but it is originally from the Heroes of Olympus and I think Leo says it.

Anyway, I'm glad that that the story appealed to you, I had a lot of fun writing it. I'm thrilled that you couldn't find any mistakes (seriously? Not even one? I must finally be improving!). Thanks again :)


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Review #11, by toomanycurls Newt Scamander

1st November 2013:
Hi! Doing the RRT tag. I kind of love how many challenges you fit into one story. I mean, wow - talk about coordination!!

I've never read a story about Newt Scamander so I'm pretty excited for this.

You've developed an incredibly rich character here. I love how you've touched on the two key relationships in Newt's life - his mother and his publicist. The way you weaved in his thoughts about each of them on his quest to find the dragon was extremely well done.

I particularlly liked the line of thought that started with What would the mother do when it realizes that itís baby was gone? Wouldnít it be devastated? The way Newt considered the dragon's feelings made him stand out from a the standard scientific/naturalist type. His care and concern for how the mom drago would feel was priceless.

-Rose

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for this wonderful review!

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