Reading Reviews for All Along
  
29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HeyMrsPotter Epiphany

20th June 2015:
Ahhh all the Ronmione feelz!

I love your sappy cute Ron finally realises he is in love with Hermione stories as much as the ones that break my poor heart :p Ron/Hermione is my favourite canon ship but I rarely find stories that feature the two as a main pairing where Ron is a likeable character. I think you have his characterisation so brilliant here. That hint of self doubt that he has is there really subtely, in the way that he feels he isn't good enough for Hermione. Poor Ron growing up with all of those wonderful brothers, not realising he is just as brilliant! ♥ My favourite part was how beautifully you described the moment with the orb drifting into his heart. So many feels!

Another excellent missing moment story!

Dee
Hufflepuff house cup 2015

 Report Review

Review #2, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage Epiphany

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for the House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

Okay... I really don't know how to review this, really. It's a nice story, that's for sure, but I had a bit of trouble following it at times, and the time between his leaving and returning seemed... quite small, really, as opposed to the books. (Though that could also be because of the fact that I found that the camping part was too long, but that's another matter, really). I loved the way he realised it all along, and missed Hermione the most, though maybe you could've included the entire Lavender thing in it as well, maybe as a reason for jealousy or anything. It might need somewhat reading over, because I really had major troubles following the fourth paragraph, really, but other than that it's fine. It wasn't something that stood out for me though, but I'm more one to really delve into emotions and description of it when it comes to stuff like this, so maybe thats why it felt a bit flat for me.

 Report Review

Review #3, by Infinityx Epiphany

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Slytherin

THIS WAS SO CUTE AND FLUFFY AND DARLING AND NOW IM ALL GOOEY INSIDE. :D I love that this is another missing moment and from Ron's perspective this time! You've made complete use of all the details that are available to us from canon and fit it into this lovely one-shot that just has so many light and happy feels! I really like the way you've written Ron and his irrational feelings and jealousy to start off. The way his whole outlook just changes after he realises how much he loves Hermione is just wonderful. It's like a different perspective on how love is really powerful and you've brought that out in such a lovely manner here.

I really like how you've touched upon Ron's encounter with the Snatchers and his turbulent thoughts and feelings when he's at Shell Cottage. The transition from his jealousy to guilt and love, followed by his desire to find them is also so clear in this.

Great job!

 Report Review

Review #4, by alicia and anne Epiphany

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015
Slytherin

Oh it's a Hermione/Ron story! I haven't read that pairing in so long. I love that you've made this from the moment that he left and his feelings after.

Poor Ron, he regretted what happened straight away. But he's right, the Horcrux was making any emotion he had much worse. I'm glad that it happened though, because it's made Ron rethink everything, and made him realise that he didn't need to have this jealousy eating him inside.

And it's made him realise just what Hermione means to him! It's made him realise that he loves her!

And now he's heard her say his name, and I can't help but be happy about the fact that she made him come back to them. That ending made me so happy and I can't stop smiling.

Your writing is so flawless and beautiful and I can read your work all day long! Keep up the amazing work!

 Report Review

Review #5, by TreacleTart-Double Round 6/7 Epiphany

12th April 2015:
Hi Alishya,

Im here for the Gryffindor Capture The Flag Battle Double Round 6/7.

I love that you chose to write about Rons regret at abandoning Harry and Hermione. I always imagined that it weighed really heavily on him and that he wouldve felt much more himself as soon as he got away from the Horcrux.

The reflection of how Hermione deserves so much better than him was really touching. The fact that he thinks even Cormac McLaggen is a better choice really shows how low his self esteem is at this point. His reflection on how he would understand if Hermione chose Harry instead of him is surprising. I always assumed that this was a very taboo subject for him.

I love that you showed the scene with the deluminator lighting up and going into his heart. I always really enjoyed that idea and I had always wished that JKR had expanded on it. You kept it very authentic to what we know from cannon, but just filled in all of the missing details.

I hope that this experience has caused a tremendous change in Ron. Hes walked out on his best friends, realized he was wrong, and come to the conclusion that he loves Hermione. I hope hes planning on charging back to where they are and never leaving again.

Excellent work!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hello Kaitlin!


Thank you! I was always curious myself of what Ron really went through when he left Harry and Hermione. Funny that a chance for me to write this was provided by a challenge on another site. :)


Indeed, poor Ron. :( He does have really good qualities about him, he just needs to look within himself to see it.


Well.. I thought that since Ron got angry over Hermione staying with Harry, that he must have thought of it. And.. well the soul-Riddle forming into Harry and Hermione kissing. So... I thought he thought that way.



Aww! ♥ I'm glad that you enjoyed the deluminator scene - as it was my favorite part to write. I thought it was touching when Ron said it to Hermione in DH - and it was great to expand on it in this one-shot. ^_^


I hope so too! I hope that experience will show Ron that he's much of an important person in the group of three. It's why they're called the golden trio. :P I hope he understood that he's needed and loved just as like everyone else.


Thank you, thank you! Thanks for reading and reviewing!



- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #6, by mymischiefmanaged Epiphany

12th April 2015:
~ For the Capture the Flag Tournament, Round Six ~

And another attack review...

I love reading missing scenes and other characters's point of views from the series. This isn't a part of the story I've ever really considered any more but now that I've read this I'm not sure why more people haven't written about Ron's time away from Harry and Hermione. It's a really interesting point in his life emotionally and, knowing what we do about how much his absence affects his friends, it's fascinating to see how Ron's dealing with what he's done.

You've got Ron's point of view down perfectly. He's brilliantly in character and it's really interesting to look at the way he sees himself rather than the way Harry sees him. His assumption that everybody else is better than him is exactly like the Ron we see in the books, but taken to a higher level. The fact he almost thinks Hermione would be right to choose Harry over him shows how serious his insecurities are, and I was surprised that he'd also think McLaggen was better than him but it very much makes sense.

You've written his realisation that he loves Hermione beautifully. He thinks she's so perfect and it's nice to see how much he cares (about Harry too, but it's his feelings for Hermione that really stand out here).

I only noticed one typo: 'Ron was the blame for that' - I think you probably meant 'Ron was to blame for that'.

Really enjoyed this one. Thank you for writing it :)

Lots of love,

Emma xx

Author's Response: Emma! :D Hi!

Yeah! The idea was inspired by a song that was assigned to me for a challenge on another writing site.



Thanks for saying that! Yes, poor Ron has deep insecurity issues, and I imagine from his tone in the books and movies... how's he's kind of hunched... he doesn't try to stick his head out, but he wants to be noticed for how good he is.



Aww! ♥ Yeah, I'm glad you like the last bit of the end too. :D


Thanks for pointing out! Eventually or soon (Thinking on when), I'll rewrite/edit these one-shots. (:


Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm happy you enjoyed reading this! :D (Meant to say thank you for my "HP/Twilight" crossover" forgive me! Thanks for that too!)



*loves*




- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #7, by HPFF Secret Santa 2014 Epiphany

17th December 2014:
Ok to get this review going, I really loved how you opened it! I don't know what it is, but that sentence alone caught my interest and instantly made me want to settle in and read what I thought was going to be an awesome oneshot. And I was right! It all just flowed so well together and it was just so great to read! I loved how you tied the real events into it and how Hermione saying his name actually played out. I thought that was really nice to see and how his epiphany about loving Hermione tied into her saying his name and it coming to him through the put outer. Overall the chapter was really short but it was such a wonderful little one shot that gave us a look into this time during deathly hallows and how ron came to his realization! Great job!

HPFF Secret Santa

Author's Response: Hehehe, ahhh! You're soo sweet! *hugs*

Thank you! It's fun writing missing scenes of the books/movies.


Thank you, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it overall! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!



- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #8, by TidalDragon Epiphany

17th May 2014:
Howdy! Nothing like a one-shot to deliver a delightful little break from writing!

I was surprised to learn from your A/N that you took this story down at one time! I don't have particularly strong feelings about Ron/Hermione, but I thought you captured this span of time from Ron's perspective well. The instant regret. The reflection. And of course the moment that brought him back to her. I'm usually one for stronger language, but here I thought simplicity actually worked well for you. Ron is a character who is fairly raw and I imagine he would have been even more stripped-down during this period. I did miss some of the potential for deepening the angst when you sped past his encounter with the Snatchers and his lonesome wanderings, but all in all it was a nice interlude and an enjoyable read!

Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Lol - hey! :D

Yeah, how silly am I to do that. :) I'm glad I put it back up though. I wouldn't be receiving these great reviews from you and the others, and feel the joy of sharing my stories with you guys! ^_^


I don't either. In fact, I just accepted them as a pairing when Rowling set Harry and Ginny together.


Ah thank you! I'm glad you say so! n_n

I agree - I could have used stronger language or even gone a bit deeper with this one-shot. At the time though, when I first wrote it, I was on a time limit because it was for a contest on another site... so I really didn't think much of it. Secondly, I wasn't all or... How should I say it... I didn't know there was so much to writing before like I do now. :3 I'm happy that you said you still enjoyed this short fic nonetheless. ;D



Thank you very much for reading and leaving me a kind review!


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #9, by awesomepotter Epiphany

6th April 2014:
So I'm here from the 'Review the Person Above You' thread on the forums, and can I say how impressed I was! Don't be discouraged about your writing, because the way you characterize Ron is absolutely perfect! You are clearly a very good writer when it comes to capturing what a character is really like at their core, so don't get discouraged!
Very well done again - it really was good!
awesomepotter xxx

Author's Response: Ah! Hi!!!

Thank you so much! Characterization is what I fear most when I write! So thank you for saying that!


Thanks for reading and reviewing too!



- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #10, by MyMyMiss Epiphany

7th March 2014:
Hi Aspohdel!

First let me just say, please don't ever be disheartened by what you have written, whether it is the first thing that you wrote to something brand new that shows your amazing writing skills. Never, ever and I mean ever discourage yourself with your writing, or anything you do. Just because one person doesn't agree with the way you characterized your stories, took a different spin in a story that a few people didn't like, does not mean that no one else will not love it - me for example. I loved this one-shot!!

you described everything beautifully and have me pulled in right from the start of the first line. Ron's characterization was perfect!! Completely perfect. His emotion was so raw and it made me feel like I was there watching his every move, you could in vision the scene of what he was doing and how he was feeling, because you painted the perfect picture for the reader to see.

I picked up on this little mistake here though.. 'Ron couldn't ignore the guilt of his jealousy over Harry stand in the way...' I think standing would perhaps sound a little better here! :)

But apart from that hun, well done on a brilliant executed story - you should be proud of this piece!!

Love,
MMM.

~Review battle blackout.

Author's Response: Hey, Karni! :D

It's hard not to, but I try not to let my disheartening completely get me down. :) Thanks for the encouragement! *hugs*


Ah!!! XD Thank you!!! I'm happy that you do!!! I'm glad to know you see what I've been trying to give the reader with this one-shot!


Ah... yeah, I know there's a lot of things in terms of grammar that I need to work on (that I am) with my old stories. ^_^ Perhaps when I get a chance, I'll fix those pesky errors. ;)



Thank you again - so much dear for the very kind comment! I'm glad that you enjoyed it! ^_^


And thank you so much for reading! :D




- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #11, by maraudertimes Epiphany

29th January 2014:
Hiya! Gryffie tag! :)

This was really sweet and I really love how you write these missing canon moments so perfectly!

Oh! Before I forget: "He didn't know the exactly where they were located." Just a slight typo, nothing major! :)

Anyways, this was really moving and I loved the emotions in this. You can definitely see where Ron realized his mistake and how the horcrux had a definite impact on him.

But I think my favourite part(s) was when he was thinking of Hermione. It was really sweet to see his memories and how she had been a major part in his life ever since fourth year, but how he felt that he wasn't in her league. It was really sad, but I think it was really quite in character, and I commend you for that! Just the fact that he sees her as such a beautiful and smart girl that deserves so much more than what he thinks he is was just heartbreaking but true, and I think you wrote his inner thoughts perfectly.

I really loved the ending. It was perfect and correlated perfectly with the story that Ron told Harry and Hermione in the books. I thought in all, this was wonderfully executed and your writing style is amazing!

Great job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hehe thank you so much! :D

Yeah, I enjoyed writing Ron's reflection of Hermione and just his inner turmoil. They are the best to write for me. :)


I know, when I do get the chance, I'll look over my stories and fix up all my grammar mistakes and spelling. ^_^


Thanks you so much for reading and reviewing! n_n



- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #12, by Secret Santa Epiphany

4th January 2014:
Yup. You've done it again, another diverse story just as compelling as your last ones.

I must admit something. I have a soft spot for Ron. He's not my go to character of choice when writing, but every time I do write him, I remember how much I like him. He's not perfect as a character, not by any rate, but he's not stupid either. It drives me nuts when people portray him as just a big, stupid sidekick.

So, I really like how you've shown him here. Yes, he made a mistake, but he knows it. I love how you show that he doesn't just accept Hermione's explanation of it being the necklace that caused him to do it. Yes, it amplified his feelings, but they were feelings he was already experiencing and harboring inside himself. He accepts that, owns up to it, and wishes he could make up for it.

I really love how you showed that it was that time away from Harry and Hermione that really caused Ron to realize he was in love with Hermione. So many people say they were shocked when Ron and Hermione ended up together, or that that kiss in Deathly Hallows came out of the blue, but I saw that relationship coming since book one and I was SO happy that I was right. To me, what you wrote here is just a very nice reasoning behind why Ron finally got the courage to act on his feelings. He grew up a ton in that last book and this shows it.

Your explanation for how the Dilluminator worked was also really cool. I've always wondered how such a little thing could bring Ron back to his friends.

Very cool story! Thanks for sharing, yet again. And I'm so glad you decided to put this back up. It takes a lot of courage to put your writing out into the world for people to read, and sometimes pick apart. It's like sending your baby off into a pack of wolves. So, please don't ever loose courage to do it, or feel like giving up. Just remember, you aren't the only one feeling like that.

*hugs*

Author's Response: Ah... you're too sweet my dear! ♥ too sweet! :D

Yeah, yeah! I do too! I can't seem to understand people's dislike for him and the way how they bash him either. It also drives me insane. :/

Ron has a purpose in the story like you have explained - and it's a shame that those who do not care for Ron do not see that. :(

But we both are here to shine light on our favorite Weasley (aside from the twins. :P)


Thank you so much for your support! :D You should know that I suck at reviewing myself as much as I suck at responding to reviews - but I still appreciate your words nonetheless! :D


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #13, by ReeBee Epiphany

30th December 2013:
Hi again Asphodel!!

Review Tag this time!! :D

Anyway, awesome!! More missing moments!! Yay! I loved this! I really really like your writing style!!

My favourite was, "Hed do anything for Hermione and anything to erase the pain he caused her." So sweet!! Ah!

The whole thing was lovely! And the reminiscent memories! Aw! The only thing I would have liked to see was more description in these scenes? But, it was amazing even without :)

I really loved how there was no dialogue! It made it more personal and sweet that way! Great job!! :D

Can't wait to read more! :D

-ReeBee :)

Author's Response: Wow another review from you! Hehe! Thanks dear!

I'm glad you enjoyed it reading this! :D


Omg! My writing style? O.o Me? Swah? I don't feel like I have style but thank you deary! ♥

Thanks again for reading! :^D


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #14, by love_is_magic_ Epiphany

26th November 2013:
I love it! Thanks for writing and sharing with the rest of us! keep it up!

You should check out my story too :D
love_is_magic_

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad that you do! :D

And... I don't see any stories on your page. o.O


Maybe perhaps... it's going through the validation process. ;)


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #15, by quixotic Epiphany

17th November 2013:
Review Tag!

This was such a sweet one-shot. It really brought to light Ron's insecurities and dreams. I hat it when people begin to antagonize Ron for leaving Harry and Hermione because they fail to understand what he was going through. How he always felt second best to Harry to the point where Hermione, the love of his life, chooses to stay with Harry.
The story elegantly flows through the ages of Ron's life. I like how his Gryffindor characteristics shone through his insecurities. He wasn't as guilty for what he had said than the fact that he wasn't there to protect them. It shows how strong the trio's friendship and loyalty was.
Beautiful little one-shot. I'm glad you decided to put it back up :)

Author's Response: Yeah, I hate when people portray Ron as the back-stabbing character that they think he truly is - but NOT.

I love Ron and I'm glad to prove anyone else who doesn't think so! :P


Thanks for reading and reviewing! ^_^


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #16, by Rumpelstiltskin Epiphany

11th November 2013:
I'm here from review tag.

Although this was short, it seemed to be the appropriate length for the story being told. Actually it gave me the opportunity to read it through twice so that I could write a more applicable review.

This is actually a very good in-depth look at Ron's emotions. I haven't had the opportunity to read many fanfictions featuring Ron so it was a nice break from the usual.

For this kind of story, I would expect that you had to really get inside the characters head and make certain connections with the character. Your ability to do that with Ron in this story has proven effective.

What stood out to me in this story, first of all, was actually the very first line "Ron felt so far away." This indicates Ron's disconnectedness on a multidimensional level, I believe. He has disconnected from his friends, his feelings, and ow to rationalize those feelings until he takes the time to do some self-reflecting. Furthermore, you tied this into the end, carrying it all the way through the story which I thought was lovely. Finally, the single line created the mood for the entire story. That's a lot to ask of a single line, but you did it. I'm impressed.

It's so sad that Ron blamed himself for Hermione's distress. I mean, he was a part of the cause but not to the extent of and reasons why he thinks it is! Poor Ron :(. It's a very strong, real emotion, guilt is. You used it very effectively and you broke my heart a little!

I just want to say that I had not noticed the lack of dialogue the first time I had read through this. It is actually quite a feat to create a story with such little dialogue. It worked very well for you here as this was more of a self-reflection than an interactive story.

Overall, I think you did a good job :).

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Omg, you really made me smile hun! :D Haha, thank you for your wonderfully sweet words and I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this! ^_^


Thanks for reading too and reviewing!

- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #17, by Illuminate Epiphany

9th November 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really cute oneshot! I think you write Ron really well and put across his emotions skilfully. His guilt and love for Hermione comes across very well, and it feels geniune.

I like that he was only able to find them once he admitted to himself that he loved Hermione. It's an nice little tie-in with canon :)

Good job!

Author's Response: Thanks dear! I'm glad that you like it! ♥

Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #18, by Courtney Dark Epiphany

8th November 2013:
Tag!

I actually really enjoyed this one-shot, especially because it is set during a time I haven't read very much about. And for some strange reason, this one-shot also did a wonderful thing: it made me eager to get back into more fanfiction, which I have sadly not had much time for.

I really loved the glimpses of Ron's personality and is jealous thoughts that you showed us. They just seemed so, well, Ron! And I enjoy reading about HP missing moments, so this was really cool!

Nice job!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad that you enjoyed it! ^_^

I am sorry that you don't have time to read fanfiction, but I hope that you will find the opportune time. ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing! :D


-Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #19, by AlexFan Epiphany

7th November 2013:
I am being completely honest when I say that I've never read any fanfiction, no matter what length, that focused on Ron leaving Harry and Hermione. This was my very first one and for a first time, this was a great way to start.

I like how you focused on Ron's feelings and showed the reader's the reason that he went back even though he never mentioned anything to Harry and Hermione (even though it was really obvious in the books).

You can tell that Ron really cares about Hermione, because as much as it hurts him to think that she'd rather be with anyone, even Harry, than him, he still wants her to be happy. I like that you showed the caring side of Ron.

A few things that I noticed was that your pace varied a bit throughout the chapter. It would be going at a leisurely pace and then it would pick up a lot. Sometimes it felt like I was reading a summary of someone's day, and other times it felt like I was actually in the story myself.

There were also a few typos that can be really easily fixed. They're not a really a big deal, they just interrupt the flow of the story a bit.

But other than that, this was a really good one-shot!

Author's Response: Thank you hun! ^_^ It's a very old one-shot. One day I'll take the time to redo it over, but I'm bummed with school and life. :)


Thanks for reading and reviewing! (n.n)


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #20, by HollyStone73 Epiphany

7th November 2013:
This was really cute!! I liked this a lot! I have never read anything about Ron's time away from Harry & Hermione so this was pretty neat to read. I love how he is reflected on the times that they spent together and especially love how he feels that he is not good enough for her. Super cute while, of course still pretty sad. The description of the light going into his chest and how it cause him to feel calmer and more relaxed was just perfect. I like what you did here and enjoyed reading it!! :)

Author's Response: Hehehe! :D Ah, I'm glad you enjoyed it! And thank you for lovely sweet words! I don't even know how to respond properly! XD


Thanks for reading and reviewing! ^_^


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #21, by toomanycurls Epiphany

7th November 2013:
Hi!! I'm quite excited to read this - just from the title I got a sense of 'oooh, I should read that story.'

This was a beautiful read. I love how you parsed out Ron's thoughts about his feelings for Hermione, his friendship with Harry, and their hunt for the horcruxes.

You gave life to a bit of DH that wasn't explored in the books and made Ron seem so much more interesting than he ever seemed from Harry's POV.

I almost died of squee with the timing of his epiphany and Hermione saying his name. I could tell in the books that when he got back he definitely knew he had deeper feelings for her than he realized before he left. You made it just seem perfect here.

I'm glad you re-posted this. I totally get not feeling too strong about certain bits of work but it's interesting how the smallest of fics can impact people. This was quite powerful for me to read even being less than 1k words. The way it flows feels like water moving down river. It doesn't focus on too much detail but there's a great sense of movement and importance.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hehe thank you - you sweetest person you! :D Your words really made me smile! ^_^

Thank you for the very kind comment and thanks for reading! (n.n)



- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #22, by lindslo2012 Epiphany

6th November 2013:
This was absolutely perfect and beautiful! :D lol. I just loved it so much and I love how much Ron loves Hermione.. :)

Author's Response: Ah!!! Thank you! You're so sweet! Ah you made my night dear! ^_^


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #23, by Lululuna Epiphany

6th November 2013:
Hi, review tag! :)

I was so happy to see you had a Romione story for the reading as I love them and am quite tired of only seeing her ever shipped with Malfoy. I think here you really captured that feeling of how they're meant to be together and this was a really nice little story and exploration to delve into that. I really like how canon you kept it and how it reminded me of that time in the HP books and how much I missed Ron during it along with Harry and Hermione! :P

I feel like you explored another side to Ron here which I quite liked. He's very witty and full of little quips in the books, but here he comes across as a lot more sensitive and emotional which I quite liked seeing. I love the part where Ron thinks about the things he loves about Hermione: she is so wonderful, and I think you could even expand on that and talk about other things he loves about her, since that was such a great moment. :) The only plot advice I would have is that I would love more - more description, or memories. This is such a great moment and I would have loved to read even more of it. :D

I noticed a few typos and unclear sentences in a few places, but a good re-read would help with those. For instance, in the first bit:
He didnt know the exactly where they were located. I think you have a rogue 'the' in there. And here: He pushed passed Hermione and ignored her hold I think it should be 'past.' And this sentence: Ron was the blame for that though; all he really ever did was made her cry, which probably might be his last memory of her if they never see each other again. I think it should be 'Ron was TO blame' and the tense should be 'if they never SAW each other again.' Again, these are just minor things and a beta or even reading it aloud to yourself (I do this all the time :P) might help catch those little things.

Overall this was a lovely little insight into Ron and what he might have been thinking after this betrayal. Like I said I love canon moments and characters like this so it was a lovely little read. :)

Author's Response: I'm glad to have provided a Romoine story for you. :) I cannot stand Dramione, no offense to those who do, and I am quite tired myself with so many stories of them and graphic requests over at TDA and I'm not even reading them. :P

I also agree that I miss the trio as well. ♥

I could have delved in deeper with the memories, but this was for a challenge over at another site so I didn't have enough time to really get in depth of Ron's reflection.

I will fix the grammars and such whenever I get the chance. ^_^ That is actually a good idea to do for my future stories. ;) Thanks!


Thanks so much for reviewing and reading!

- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #24, by academica Epiphany

6th November 2013:
Hello, here from Review Tag!

First off, kudos to you for being willing to jump back in the writing game despite your insecurities. I know it can be so tough to put yourself out there, and the first time I got a critical review it really got under my skin. I think you're absolutely right, though, that the key is recognizing potential areas of improvement and giving your talent a chance to grow.

I think "all along" is the perfect title for this story, because it's really what is so beautiful to me about Ron and Hermione's relationship; it grew out of friendship over time and they both needed those years to really appreciate one another. I can't imagine them ever separating again after this critical moment from canon.

It was interesting how Ron was haunted by his memories of Hermione and Harry while hiding out after having run away from them. I wonder how different the story might have been if Hermione had chosen to go with Ron instead of with Harry. Still, I'm glad Ron didn't let his guilt and tendency to beat himself up stop him from going back and admitting that he was wrong to leave. It was also neat how you described the warm ball of light calming Ron down as it swallowed him up.

I did notice a few typos scattered throughout this story, so you might want to go back and get a Quick Beta to take a look over it and help you polish it up in terms of the technical details. Otherwise, though, this was a great little one-shot!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much! And yes, it is great that it took years for Ron and Hermione to actually see what was right in front of them "all along" because in a way - JK Rowling showed that in real life that relationships does not come as easy as many immature teenagers believe. And it even taught me... or give an insight of how complex in some ways the world is.


That is an interesting thought - what would have happened if Hermione went with Ron... quite interesting indeed. Might take up on that one. :P


Yeah I know. Thanks for telling me thought! :D I'll work on it as soon as I can. :)

Thank you again for the very nice review and thanks for reading! ^_^


- Asphodel


 Report Review

Review #25, by APerkins Epiphany

3rd November 2013:
Hello! You are responsible for the most amazing piece of artwork I have (also the only, but thats beside the point - Thankyou!)
As such it was exciting to get the opportunity to review for you in review tag. And it was a really really intriguing A/N you left. I was surprised because on first read through there is nothing wrong with the story. It is thought monologue, seems fairly well put together, and I've seen a lot worse.
all of which could fall into the category of d-ing with faint praise.
sorry. I realised that d word would probably trip of the censors after writing it, but then couldnt think of a better way to express myself.

Leave this up. It is NOT a bad story. If this is your "starting point" then that is something really really exciting! You have a great grasp of Rons character, and a good logical progression through his emotions.


what I loved about the A/N was that you actually want to improve from here. (It's something I can relate to - I keep reading my old stories and wanting to rewrite them!) I have read through your other reviews for this piece too, and one of them has picked up most of the little things that I only noticed on my second read through, so I wont repeat them :)
I do think that a monologue is hard to make "exciting" because it really is just the inner workings of somebodies head. This was easily interesting enough to keep reading. The way you structure your sentences can be a little cumbersome. (NB. hi kettle, my name is pot :P)

I dont know the technical explanation for the difference between
"Ron had never felt so far away"
and
"Ron never felt so far away"

but I am sure there is one. It makes it slightly easier to write if you put the whole passage into that tense (what ever it is)

It can also make it a lot easier for the reader. Particularly when you switch from "Ron had. "
to "Now that Ron thought about it..." - it creates a clear definition between the "current" past - the thinking he is doing now; and a distant past - the abandoning his friends, yadiyadah.

I know that someone who actually understands grammar will probably laugh at my attempt at explanation.

I think it also frees you up to write things like "Now that Ron had a chance to think about it."

I might be labouring a point a little long though.
Keep writing!!
I notice I have missed you in review tag, but whateva :) I enjoyed the opportunity to read and review your work! well done, I actually really liked it, so thankyou for putting it up!

Author's Response: Hehe wow! I know what you mean when you say my writing can at times be repetitive. :( I try so hard to not do that but somehow I end up doing it anyway. :/

I'll still try to look out for my future work. :) And plus... I don't know... I wrote this from last year... And I posted another one-shot -- the one with Peter Pettigrew... Not sure if I made any difference in my writing now then I did here. O.o

And thank you for your kind words! And - oh - sorry about that but I'm glad you reviewed anyway! ^_^


Thanks for reading and commenting again! :D


- Asphodel


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>