4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Secret Santa His Eyes, Expression and Emotion

25th December 2013:
Oh, yay! This one is from Chelsea’s perspective :D Just like in the last one, I think you do a really good job o setting up her “voice” right from the beginning. This seems to be a strength of yours.

I think this is a pretty realistic story. The beginning, when Chelsea is talking to her friend about how she thought everything would be perfect once they finally got together, especially rings true. I think a lot of people don’t realize how much hard work goes into relationships.

That being said, their fights seem very intense. They say a lot of very hurtful things to one another, and then the conflict seems a bit too quickly resolved. It would have been nice to see a little more of them making up. It seemed like Chelsea forgave him a bit too quickly, especially considering how fiery and independent she is.

The ending was really sweet. I liked the mini-epilogue and the taste of what their lives were like in the future.

Author's Response: Haha, I'm glad u enjoyed the perspective change- a pain to write! Thanks so much! In school (before I started writing here), I used to always be criticised about my characterisation. So I'm really glad that I can do that well now!

Thank u! Yeah, alwmost like a fall from Grace :)

Yeah- I can definitely say that it is one of my worst one shots and writing style on my author page. The only reason I left it up was because it was almost a part of my first fanfic and because it was for a request.

Thanks so much :) it was an end deacon during the last edit to add that in :) I'm glad it worked well :)

I hope u had a Merry Christmas!

-Curie


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Review #2, by Leonore His Eyes, Expression and Emotion

22nd November 2013:
Here from Blue v Bronze!

A little more romantic than I tend to go in for, but well written. While there is a lot of swearing, it does at least seem natural not awkward.

At the end, Oliver's opinions of the photos!

Grammatically:
"Chels, u need to do something." - I don't like use of "u" here - fine for social media and casual chat, but not for this situation.

"just because you're pulling out the big boy words..." - you had the wrong form of "you're"

Generally well written, anyway, so keep writing.

Leonore

Author's Response: Thank u so much! I was actually really worried about my writing in this piece. It wasn't meant to be good, just interesting. It was written for a request :)

The 'u'is a complete accident. And thank u so much for the review!! :D


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Review #3, by harrietm His Eyes, Expression and Emotion

18th October 2013:
Very very nice!! Definitely punchy and dramatic! Hooray that you wrote a sequel and hooray that it all ended well! :D
Just a few constructive criticisms:
- there's a few typos in there, I forget where exactly because I was too into the story to be overly phased haha but a reread and edit would be good!
- Lily convincing Chelsea to talk to James...perhaps not the best dialogue, just maybe didn't put across why James got so angry in the best way, but that could just be me!
Either way I still throughly enjoyed it, keep up the good writing :)

Author's Response: Yeah- this wasn't my best writing. I looked over it, and realised it didn't flow, but it was too far gone to fix... Sorry about that!! My fault for doing to half asleep over a six or so hour drive.

But I'm really glad you enjoyed it!! Thanks for the review, and once again as cliched as it sounds, it made my day! Thank you so much!

Xoxo


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Review #4, by Harry and Ginny His Eyes, Expression and Emotion

6th October 2013:
aww loved this fic! it was absolutely perfect and sweet! and the ending!!! *squeals* it's sweet how you had in the ending a sort of epilogue with James and Chelsea and their children! can't wait to read more of your fics so please do tell when you write more! I have a hpff page as well and fics so you can let me know by them!^_^

1000/1000

Harry and Ginny

P.S: thanks for the dedication! it made my day!^_^

Author's Response: Aw! Thanks so much! Once again, you have no idea how much this means to me!! Seriously, I am so honoured!!! I will definitely let you know, I'm so glad to have you as a reader!! Thanks again!!!

Xoxo


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