Reading Reviews for This Love
  
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon Chapter 1

22nd April 2014:
Howdy! Dropping by to tag you from the review thread in the CR!

First things first, I really liked the way you told this story from the first person. You gave Astoria a unique and believable voice that carried through the whole chapter and I thought that was a real asset to the early "snapshots" in particular.

I also liked the way you filled in Astoria's character. My favorite way you did this was actually the bit about abandoning magic for three years. I have always considered how many with closer ties to the Muggle world would consider doing this in the aftermath of the Second Wizarding War. I'm a bit surprised at a pureblood doing it, because I have no idea how they would get on, but I guess that tells us something about Astoria's character too that she was able to, so well done!

I did notice a few typos here and there or closed repeated words or phrases (describing her reaction when Draco "passed by" multiple times in the beginning is one example of what I mean by this), but those are minor concerns.

Overall I really enjoyed the piece and I think it has a lot of potential given the nice characterization you've led with and the different POV (different for me anyway - I've only read one other Astoria POV story).

Keep up the good work!

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Review #2, by Lostmyheart Chapter 1

7th April 2014:
Hi there!

I seriously had a hard time choosing what story to review. You have an interesting collection of stories, and I really have to read them all! Maybe not now, but later.

I have a weakness for Draco, and Astoria too. So I picked this one and I do not regret it at all.
This story was so different, and I liked that you portrayed her as different from the others. That she questions everything and Daphne seemed to just go with the flow.

She was so sweet with her crush! I could totally see myself like that when I was in my early teenage years, where we just blushed and felt our heart flutter just because his eyes (coincidentally) met ours and when he walked by, or sat next to us in class. Ah, those days.

I loved this line:
"I could see why men would be lining up to court her, though I couldn't decipher, for the love of Merlin, how Blaise Zabini, of all those men had won her heart."
It is so well written and I like how you made Astoria question their relationship a bit, how did he really win her sisters heart? Like she thought they were an odd match or something.

When she finally saw Draco again, after all those years, I had to smile. The way you described his hairline reminded me of Tom Felton's new movie.
Enough said :b

All in all, I really loved this story and I can't wait to read your other stories as well.

Big hug,
Avi

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Review #3, by maraudertimes Chapter 1

8th February 2014:
Hello!

Ooh, this was really cute. I love how Astoria fancied Draco even back when she was young. It's kind of cute to see how she grew up loving him and also trying to get over him.

I completely understand why she would have wanted to live with muggles for a while, but when Daphne reached out and found her, I thought it was really sweet. It showed how strong sisterly bonds are, and how much they mean to both parties involved. I really love how Astoria agreed to come out of hiding to be Daphne's maid-of-honour. That was very sweet, and I loved how Daphne wanted her to be in that position from the get go.

The interaction with Draco was strange at first, although when he's been, ah... having that much fun, it isn't a surprise that he would confuse the two sisters. You know what they say about a fuzzy brain. But I loved the rest of that part, where we see her school girl crush come back full force.

The fact that Astoria wanted to bring Draco to the wedding was very cute. Considering his choices, he needs to be brought into the public eye in a good way, and what better way than a wedding between an old classmate and a former friend/acquaintance? Not to mention it would be a date! :P

This was really well written and I really liked it. Astoria and Draco are one of my favourite pairings and I love what you've done with them and with their relationships, when they were young and as they grew up.

Good job!
Lo:)

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Review #4, by Secret Santa Chapter 1

1st January 2014:
This is so refreshing I have never read anything from Astorias point of view, and to see how she actually falls in love with Draco was sweet. I love this fic, you had drama but you kept it realistic.

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you liked it. I was trying to write a story that hasn't been told, so I didn't want to end up picking something common. I'm happy to see that you loved it. I will continue with this soon :)

Thanks again, Santa! Your reviews are so encouraging :)


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Review #5, by marauderfan Chapter 1

24th November 2013:
Hi! I'm here for our review swap!

I really like this so far! I've read very few Astoria/Draco stories and the way you portray Astoria is just adorable in this. From the beginning I wanted them to get together (and yay, they do! Just not yet :P )

Your description of how the war impacted people was really good too. I liked your insight into the pureblood families that weren't Death Eaters - it must have been hard for them as well having DE's knocking on the door all the time! And to be honest it fits in with the way I've always thought the Greengrass girls were - attempting to stay neutral and not get involved. I think Astoria's decision to withdraw from the magical world made a lot of sense too. After a war like that, affecting her so strongly even though she tried to stay away from it, I can definitely see her needing a break.

Astoria's meeting with Draco in Diagon Alley was really cute, how her schoolgirl crush came back, and if I'm correct, Draco still has no idea. I've always thought war probably hurt Draco a lot because of his role in it, and it made him re-think a lot about himself; it's clearly in the middle of this phase that Astoria finds him again.

The narration style is really cool too, I like how you did it as a story she's telling to Draco much later. It's a neat way of writing.

I love this so far! You've got a wonderful start, and I'm glad I got to read this!

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Review #6, by HollyStone73 Chapter 1

14th November 2013:
I loved this!! I admit that I have not read too many stories about Draco & Astoria, but the ones that I have always painted Astoria as the typical Pure-Blood Slytherin who worries more about her next shopping trip than anything of real substance. So this was a very refreshing take on her and the lead-up to the relationship between her & Draco. I actually love that she had found Draco sitting at the bar, drunk and looking older than his years. I have always thought that the war took a huge toll on him, and liked that even after everything she is still very attracted to him.

This is very well-written and the emotions portrayed almost jump off the screen at me. I very much enjoyed reading it! Great job!

Author's Response: Hello :)

I'm glad you liked this. It means a lot to hear that I have created something, that you find refreshing and slightly original(?). I have't really read any Draco/Astoria myself. But I'd signed up for a challenge that gave me the inspiration to write this. I wanted to make Astoria a strong character, not someone shallow and baseless. I'm glad I got that right :)

And wow. That's one of the sweetest things ever! Thank you so much for this lovely review :)


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Review #7, by patronus_charm Chapter 1

14th November 2013:
Hey Adi! Here with the swap :D

Aw, Astoria was so cute! I love the way she sort of stalked him throughout her whole time at Hogwarts. Iím dying to know now whether Draco actually went to those places when she told him to meet her at in Hogsmeade that would have been so cute if she had. Another thing I liked about it was that it enabled you to provide a lot of backstory about her without it getting boring and it was humorous in a way too with the way she kept on watching him and wishing him and yet he never noticed.

A noticed a few minor cases of when you slipped into the present tense, I think they were in the first section so when youíre editing this it might be good to look out for those.

I liked the idea of the Greengrasses being passive throughout the war as that fitted with my mental image of them being like that. Plus, it sort of resembled a fresh start for Draco if the person heís going to marry was aligned to neither side meaning that they can decide their future together and be really cute and coupley together.

Their meeting in Diagon Alley was really great! It just had the right levels of everything and made me all gushy and yeah. I liked how you made Draco at ease with her because that would be natural given that she is the sister of his best friendís fiancťe, but I would still try and maintain a little reserve because Draco was always a recluse and given how the war ended I can only imagine that it made his reclusness even worse.

The way you always referred to Draco as you was really great. I mean, I knew it was Draco but there was that small bit of suspense over whether it could be someone else or not. It was also great as the me in this is Astoria and the you is Draco so itís like me and you when you put the narration together (ok that makes no sense here but it does in my head, so Iíll carry on anyway) and yeah it makes them like a couple.

Then the ending was great! Iím really intrigued about how Astoria asks him now because she seemed sort of shy throughout so Iím guessing a letter but she may have changed and done it face to face. I really liked this first chapter and I am eager to read more so let me know when the next is up! ♥

-Kiana

(also, this is my 900th review (I think?) so I hope you enjoy it, and if it isnít I hope you enjoy review 899 :P)

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Review #8, by Cannons Chapter 1

15th October 2013:
Hi, here with your requested review!

So let me just say that I've never really read about Draco/Astoria before, so it was something different and I quite liked it.

I loved how it was written in first person because it made it feel really personal and intimate. I really got the feeling that she was overwhelmed by Draco when she was younger at Hogwarts but felt she couldn't/shouldn't do anything about it.

I loved the bit where you mention the notes saying to meet me in Hogsmede, that was a nice touch, especially when you say she never turns up.

So when it turns around and she see's Draco drinking alone, I was happy that she had the courage to go up to him. It shows just how far she comes.

You really showed Astoria's feelings for Draco and how they changed as she grew up. It was also interesting to read about her family not choosing a side, because in the little I've read in FF about her family, they're always portrayed badly.

I noticed a typo somewhere ... in the middle... but naturally I can't find it now! I knew what you meant though so it wasn't a problem.

Overall I really liked it, you managed to get Astoria's feelings for Draco out subtly but powerfully.

Author's Response: Hello :) Thanks for dropping by, and I'm sorry for this ridiculously late response.

I haven't read much about them either. It was the first time for me, writing about them. I'm glad you liked it :)

I was going for exactly that feel. I believe that first person narration helps you establish a rather personal relationship with the reader, and I'm glad you got that. As for Astoria, I'm sure she was overwhelmed and to some extent, intimidated by him :p

I was just thinking of everything that might embody the feeling of teenage crush, and that just seemed to fit, really!

I think the war would have changed too. And of course she's a little more grown up than she was during her school years. I'm glad you enjoyed that :) I haven't seen this portrayal either, and I always felt that it might have happened to someone who wasn't really into it all. The war would have bred some sort of disinterest, which is why I wrote her like that!

Haha :p I'll fix it when I edit, whatever it is ;)

Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it!


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Review #9, by loveinidleness Chapter 1

3rd October 2013:
Dearest Random Writer,

Draco/Astoria has indeed won me over.

The very start of your story is absolutely delicious. Those two lines melted my heart. Punchy first lines are something I always struggle with so Im taking notes. I was very, very impressed that you handled the exposition at the beginning of the story. Many writers get bogged down in it or list stuff off but you made it part of the story and seamlessly blended it with jokes (such as vaccum cleaner up your backside) and more serious and tragic memories (such as him barely noticing her) and that only serves to draw your readers in.

One of your great skills is making the audience feel instantly connected to your main character. Clever lines such as the unsteady flutter of my pre-teen heart is so universal you instantly connect with Astoria and are on her side, that can be a difficult thing to do. Because we dont really know Astoria from the books I would maybe even include more of those little universal feelings. Because you wrote having a crush so well, if you were ever thinking of extending the story, I would encourage you to lengthen that bit of the story Ė did she ever try love potions? Did she ever for a second think he liked her back? Did her other bfs annoy her because they didnt live up to the fantasy she had created of him? Having read your writing I really think you could be funny with those topics.

I suppose Im wondering what your intentions are with the story. For you what exactly is this story about and how long do you intend it to be? The comments I would make if this were the start of a short story would be entirely different to the comments I would make if it were the start of a novel. Id be really interested to hear your visions for the piece as without that information Im finding it difficult to offer constructive advice.

General comments though are sometimes you need to watch your phrasing slightly. For example you say exclusive group of Elite Death Eaters when just one word, exclusive or elite, would suffice. You do that a couple of times in the piece and it just makes it a bit harder to read and can make it sound less natural. That said you have a wonderfully descriptive style so dont stop using your adjectives as its what makes the story so interesting, just streamline them a bit.

Also I would have a think about how Astoria expresses herself when shes talking about the Deatheaters. She says she looked on them with resentment and distain but surely one of the 26 remaining pure blood family might be even fearful about refusing to join in with Voldemort. Then she talks about how her failure to take part in the battle affects her so much she has to give up magic, and how shes angry and wants to defy the social order. This is a really interesting angle to take with a pure-blood character but surely this history would have more of an affect on her when she sees Malfoy again. The boy she loved became what she hates, what she rejected magic to get away from. This adds a whole new dimension to her schoolgirl crush. I really think you should play more with this, as its such a fresh idea.

Those are some general comments. Please PM me if you have any more questions or what clarification on something I said. Also PLEASE KEEP WRITING THIS. Its a story that deserves to be told and youve laid some fascinating groundwork. Maybe you can convince me there are better romances that Dramione.

Also please forgive my lack of apostrophes. For some reason they arent being accepted when I try and write reviews. No idea whyÖ

Author's Response: This has taken me far too long to get back to. I am so SO sorry!!

I'm incredibly glad that I've managed to get a couple of avid Dramione shippers on my side with this one! I'm definitely part of the canon brigade and Draco/Astoria is my new found love!

Wow! *blushes* thank you! I think it's really important to have a great start to your story and I am so glad that the first couple of lines just pulled you in. I was really trying to tell the story without it being too much like a report because I have that I had a lot of information to give out. I was hoping that writing about universal and slightly more personal feelings, and mixing it up with a little bit of slight humour would help!

YES! I was really hoping to get that right. Thank you so much :) I think you've brought up some really nice questions that can be both romantic and fun to write about. I could probably include those moments when I edit this or when I update this. You have some great points there.

I'm planning for this to be a short story. Maybe not more than five chapters. I have some of it written out, but I won't be updating this till I'm happy with what I've written.

I'll give this another read and see if I can weed out such clumsy phrases. Thank you for pointing that one out :) About the description, wow. That is a really nice thing to say! I've been experimenting with description a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed that part, I'll make sure I don't over do it in future!

again, you've given me some really nice thoughts to bounce off. I'm really enjoying your feedback, and this is another thing I'll look into while updating this one. I know that such an idea hasn't been really expressed before, but it goes in line with what I have in mind for her personality and we know that not all the purebloods joined Voldemort. There were blood traitors and those who remained neutral as well. Since I don't find much of a mention of that, I'm planning on exploring it further here :)

That is such a sweet thing to say :') I'll make sure I tell this story and I will always value readers like you! You've given me some GREAT feedback and pointers. Thank you so much :) Don't worry, I will keep writing this and probably someday, you'll find that there is something more than Dramione ;)

Thanks again! ^_^





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Review #10, by 800 words of heaven Chapter 1

2nd October 2013:
REVIEW TAG!

Am I sporadic reviewer, or what? all that aside, I do love me a good Draco/Astoria fic, so I couldn't resist.

Astoria in her Hogwarts days made me feel so uncomfortable, but in the best of ways. Actually, even later on, whenever she talks about her feelings for Draco makes me feel uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong though - it's a great feeling, and I'll tell you why. She makes me so uncomfortable because she's so open and accepting of her emotions. She never shies away from what she's feeling, and doesn't simply acknowledge them, but embraces them, which I think is really fascinating.

I thin my favourite part of this story was when you described the Battle of Hogwarts. It was really interesting and emotionally involving for me, even though she didn't partake in the actual battle. I liked how it showed a different side to the war, and really illustrated how much like the Rebel Alliance Harry, the gang, and the Order were.

I'm looking forward to reading more of this story! I'd like to see where it leads. :)

Author's Response: HI :D So good to see you here again :P

I LOVE the way you put that. It's one of the best ways to describe what Astoria feels and it's one of the best things I could have heard about her. Writing Draco/Astoria isn't easy, but I'm giving it a go, and I LOVED how you worded that bit about her. It's perfect. Thanks :')

It is, isn't it? We've read a lot about both parties- the good and the bad. But what about those in between? And such big things always leave an impact on everyone. it's just upto us, how we deal with it. I'm glad you liked my portrayal of Astoria and found her choices interesting.

This review made my day! :) Stay tuned. I'll post chapter 2 soon. Thanks :)


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Review #11, by academica Chapter 1

28th September 2013:
Hello, here for our review swap :)

This was a very cute start! I kept drawing parallels between your Astoria and canon Ginny, where she just kind of admired her crush from afar and only got his attention later after she'd grown up and done a bit of self-discovery. I also liked how Astoria didn't romanticize all of Draco's bad decisions in his last few years of school. It was also nice to see her reflect on her own choices and regrets during that time.

The only thing I didn't really love about this was the flow. It seemed like you sort of ran out of steam as the chapter went on; the first section was full of interesting detail and the second section had some great dialogue in it, but the last couple sections were briefer and I found the ending a tad bit abrupt. I'd love to see you go back and flesh it out more - for instance, maybe we could see more about Daphne's reaction to Astoria's request to bring a wedding date. It also would have been nice to actually see Astoria ask Draco to the wedding, given her discussion about being too shy to talk to him as a student.

Great start! Thanks for the swap :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda :) Sorry I took a bit to get to this.

I'm glad you liked the start :) Actually, canon Ginny was on the back of my mind while writing this. But I wanted there to be quite a few differences between them because Draco/Astoria is different. I'm pleased to hear that you liked Astoria. I really wanted to establish her as her own person; make her strong-willed and independent, instead of someone who doesn't seem to have their own mind.

That's some great advice, Amanda. Actually, I think I will take it on and add in all those details when I edit this. There are some typos that I still need to work through. I'll get this done when i'm doing that :)

Thanks for the swap and the lovely review :)


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Review #12, by Erised Chapter 1

16th September 2013:
Hi lovely! I'm here to fulfil my end of the bargain and leave some reviews for the amazing story you wrote for our Gryffindor Writing Challenge :) basically just a good excuse to catch up on all the amazing stories I have yet to read and review!

So I saw you posted up this little one-shot and I was intrigued. I can tell you now that I think this is your best writing so far. It's clear to see how you're switching up styles and including more description which is really nice to see :)

I enjoyed the tense you chose for the piece, as if Astoria were talking to Draco. I could imagine them chatting over how they first met to Scorpius or something and Astoria recalling how much of an impact Draco had on her. I liked that Draco wasn't too aware of her until later on after Hogwarts in the war - he was a little bit preoccupied after all!

Astoria's description of her interest in Draco was really nicely done. At first she's this shy schoolgirl who then transforms into a more confident and sadly hardened woman as the years go on, and I think you portrayed this well with the final scene of Draco and Astoria meeting at the Leaky Cauldron. I liked how her interest waned as she gained an idea of just what the Death Eaters were doing and opposed their ideals. It would be interesting to see how she aligns her husband's past with her own mantra.

I also found it very interesting that she didn't practice magic for three years - quite unusual for someone who's had magic as such an ingrained part of life since they were born. Original!

As I mentioned, your description is great here and there were a few little lines that added to the quite whimsical and ethereal feel of the piece. I liked how you said "Very soon, we were staring right into the eyes of war" - the imagery is very powerful.

I don't think Astoria should be so harsh on herself though for skipping out on the war. She was very young after all and would have been much less equipped to look after herself, mentally and physically. It created an interesting contrast between the two characters though - her wanting to fight on the 'good' side in comparison so Draco (sort of).

This was a really good one shot Adi and you should be proud! :)

Author's Response: Jennny. (takes a breath)...y!! :D
I get ever so excited when I see reviews from you... and there are FOUR! :D I can never do justice to how awesome your reviews are, in my replies, but I shall try!

Best writing? Woah. Thanks a lot! That is a huge compliment and it means a lot to me, especially coming from you because you are in a fair position to judge. I'm glad you liked how I've written this. It's a little different, I know. I'm glad it paid off :)

Haha, you might be on to something there, Jenny ", Maybe if you read on, you'll see :) He was preoccupied and JKR didn't really bring her up till the epilogue. Which is why I chose to bring it up like this :)

I wanted to show her develop as a person. I also wanted to show how she was her own person. Strong and independent. I'm glad that came through :) Thank you.

I was hoping to show how she had her own ideas, thoughts and opinions and how she was affected tremendously by the war. It was her coping mechanism, I guess :P

I'm so glad you found it original because I think it's really nice to hear, that as a writer you've managed to create something of your own. Especially in a community where there are so many great stories and ideas!

THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU :) Description is beautiful, and if I managed to do it well, I'm happy! I'm so glad you liked it! Imagery too is very important and I'm pleased that you enjoyed this :)

Haha, yes :) It is quite a contrast, right?
I think she has her regrets, and he, his. But it's the present (in the context of the story) that matters. i would love it if you read on!

You review, as usual, has made my day!
Keep on bein' amazing Jenny! :)
Thank youuuh.

PS- This is a short story :) (Hope that's a good thing :P)


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Review #13, by BLONDEbehaviour Chapter 1

16th September 2013:
Hi there! BLONDEbehaviour here with your requested review!

For an avid Dramione shipper, I really enjoyed this! I liked how we got to see a side to Astoria that we do not usually get to see. I really like how you portrayed her character as more than a barbie doll 'image' person. She had a soul and personality to her, and I really really like that about her, so well done in that regard. I especially like that she cut herself off from the wizarding world to come t terms with the war and such. It showed that she was not a soul-sucking pureblood that had nothing less than that which she was given fro her parents. I hope she doesn't lose this personality of hers!

In portraying her emotions, I think you have done a convincing job. I especially like that she 'lost' her admiration for hi when he became to dabble in dark magic. As I think it makes it more realistic hat someone would lose interest if their crush did something that was bad or not acceptable to that person. So I really liked how you interpreted that.
Draco is definitely going to be an interesting character as the story progresses. I like how we are just slowly introduced to the older him, it gives a bit of mystery to see who and what he has become. I like it!

I am very, very intrigued, and that does not come lightly when Draco is not shipped with Hermione, so this a good sign :) Please re-request when you get the next chapter up!

Please respond to this review, thanks :)

Grace

Author's Response: Grace, hello :)

Well, I guess it would be especially hard to win over Dramione shippers with this one, so woohoo for that :D

I'm glad you like Astoria. I really wanted to establish herself with a strong willed and independent person, rather than a desperate barbie doll-ish girl, as you say!I agree with you, we don't see many stories about her on the archives and I'm glad that I got a chance to try this out. I will certainly continue. Astoria is really growing on me too :)

Eeep. I'm so scared about writing about Draco because JKR has said so much about him, I don't want to mess it up somehow. On the other hand, I'm pleased that you liked the characterization and found it very realistic. I'm glad you liked both of them and how I chose to portray the situation at hand. Thanks ^_^

Wow. That is quite huge! I will re-request as soon as I put up the next chapter.

Thank you so much Grace, your review is amazing :)


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Review #14, by toomanycurls Chapter 1

14th September 2013:
I'm a bit unfamiliar with Astoria and Draco canon facts so I won't be much good on keeping that in line. However, I like how you set her up as a younger student who admired Draco from afar. I could see why he'd be quite the elusive and attractive man while he was a student. Quite popular, rich, and good looking.

Brooding male version of the damsel in distress? That was brilliant. ^_^

I really like her progression through the war and wanting to distance herself from the death eaters (and Draco). Even more interesting that she removed herself form the wizarding world.

ooh, her sister must be good looking to have married Blaise. A wedding is a great reason for Astoria to get pulled back into the wizarding world.

Hmm, I'm a bit curious why Astoria had the sudden courage to talk to Malfoy. Was she stronger, braver, or just didn't care about impressing him?

I kind of think Draco would have been invited to the wedding anyway. He's friends with Blaise after all.

Please feel free to re-request when the next chapter is out. I like the flow of the story so far. It was a good back story. I'm interested to see what interactions draw Draco and Astoria together.

Author's Response: Hello :) I think everyone is a teensy bit unfamiliar with this ship, especially because there are so many Dramione shippers out here! :P

Haha, yep! Rich, popular, good-looking. Dreamy girls would just swoon, I'd bet.

Really? Aw, thanks :)

It definitely is interesting behaviour, I'd hope. Because it would be really hard for a pureblood to extricate herself from the world of magic. It must have really affected tremendously.

I'm glad you liked the reason I chose. You wouldn't miss a sister's wedding would you? I mean, unless you're Petunia :/

I think I should explain that a little. Thank you for pointing it out :)

He probably would have been. But she wants to bring him with her, if she gets the courage to ask him.

Yay :) Thank you! I'll make sure to re-request! Lovely review :)


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Review #15, by AlexFan Chapter 1

14th September 2013:
This was definitely a new way of looking at Draco and Astoria. I've never read a story about them that was written in this way before. I actually really liked this.

I like how it was like I was reading a fairytale, it sounded like Astoira was writing a letter to Draco telling him everything that had happened with her, or she was sharing the story with Scorpius about how she and his father met.

Personally, I'm definitely looking forward to the rest of this.

And you can definitely see the feelings that Astoria has for Draco. It definitely sounds exactly like a first love type of thing. You notice a boy and you watch them from afar and hope that some day they'll notice you and you can't stop thinking about them. I'm sure that a lot of people have felt this way when they first got a crush on someone or had their first love.

You can see that Astoria really likes Draco even though she left the wizarding world but I also like how, as much as she likes him, she isn't going to put her life on hold and sit around and wait for him. To me it showed that she was the type of person who was strong, no matter how cowardly she was when it came to the war, and that no matter how much she loved a boy/man, she wouldn't let them rule her life and stick around waiting for them.

I also like how an old part of Draco seemed to come through as soon as he realised that it was Astoria. One moment he's this drunk, sad person and then when he realises that he's talking to Astoria some of his old swagger seems to come back to him.

Anyway, I thought this was really interesting and great and awesome job on it!

Author's Response: Hi there :) I'm sorry I took so long to get to this. I've been a bit tied up lately.

I'm glad you found this original. I know that there aren't too many stories about them. I've hardly come across any myself, actually!

Haha, you might have made an interesting observation there :P If you stick on, you might see.

Yay! :) I'm happy to hear that you are ^_^

That was EXACTLY what I was going for. Sometimes, you have your first crush and you never quite forget, but over time you forget the intensity. Then one day, you come across them again in some form and you remember everything and you can't let it go. It's simple love. But it's real.
(I'll probably use that later on in this story, lol :P)

That was another thing I wanted to show and I'm glad you picked up on it. She isn't weak, nor is she desperate. She loves him but she is completely robbed of her judgement because of it.

Haha :) It seems as if you've picked up on everything I wanted to show in this chapter. It makes me so very happy :)

Thanks for the review! :D


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Review #16, by Illuminate Chapter 1

14th September 2013:
Hi! Review Tag!

This is a really nice beginning to a story. I like writing about what happens to the characters Post-War, and Draco stories are a lot of the time based around Hermione in some respect.

I like that this is based on Astoria and not Draco. Her feelings and thoughts, and her life. The backstory is very important to her character, and I think I'd like to see a little more on why exactly she left the Wizarding World and how this affected her life and relationships, though I expect that will be explored in the future :)

I saw a couple of typos that could be fixed just with a read-through :) Other than that, great job!

Author's Response: Hello again :)

It's the first time I'm doing this era, and I'm liking it already. I'm a canon freak, as I waste no breath in telling. So, I wouldn't do a Dramione, no offense. But I do like Draco and I was more than happy to explore this. I'm glad you seem to like Astoria. I was hoping that she'd be received well. I agree with you. The backstory makes the character and strengthens it. I will be exploring that more in the future. Worry not :) I know that there are typos, and I really need to fix them soon.

Thanks for the review :)


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Review #17, by LilyLou Chapter 1

13th September 2013:
Hey, its LilyLou here for my challenge!

This seems really interesting! I'm intrigued. While its still only the first chapter, you have me in deep. I want to know more! You wrote Draco pretty well so far. He's hard to write. Just be careful with OOC. That could be bad.

All in all, amazing story so far. It's definitely interesting an original.

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hi Janelle :)

First of all, I want to thank you for this challenge. It gave me this idea and I'm quite happy with it :)

Aw :) Thanks! i'm glad I have you hooked. And I hope I can keep you hooked.

I know! Especially because I've never written Draco before. It was quite the challenge. I'll make sure I stay in canon. I have a constant eye out for that. But if not, I hope someone points it out. I'll fix it immediately.

Thanks for the review and the challenge :)


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Review #18, by MissesWeasley123 Chapter 1

13th September 2013:
Well thanks for making me a pile of mush. This kind of reading is not good for my health. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME? DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT I'M ALREADY AN EMOTIONAL PERSON AND THAT I'M A GIRL AND CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS?

*leaves in frustration to get a box of kleenex and then returns briefly*
No, I swear, I got tears. I know, I'm weird, I'm just so blegh today(not PMS haha). It's just, whenever I read love stories it just makes me so, so I don't know um... emotional(?) if you could call it that and... I just can't type it up. It's impossible. This story is so perfect I just can't even say it. I just need to hug something write now.. and pretend it's Draco or something. I'd like to hug Draco :)

Even my eleven year-old self couldn't deny the unsteady flutter of my pre-teen heart. I had a crush.

This part be so true. Just saying - it's like the story of my life. WHY. I think I felt so connected to Astoria due to that. I felt her need and man this makes me all feelsie and stuff. *needs to stop reading romance or generally any pairing that features Draco*

I don't even know what this review was just about Adi haha, but it was so perfect. It was beauty. I hope you win this challenge!

Author's Response: Nadiaa! :)

Haha, I'm gushing about how much you are gushing! being a teenage girl myself, I understand everything you've said! (Damn PMS and not-PMS too... we're emotion all the time!).

I want to hug you right now and I'm serious :) I'm sorry this gave you tears :( But I'm so happy it tugged on your heartstrings. I can't believe you thought it was perfect! You're so sweet :)

Haha :) Draco just makes me melt sometimes. That might have to do with the last book, and Tom Felton. But meh! Whatever. I'm a canon person, so I'll stick to this pairing. I'm glad you found something relatable though. Astoria's voice in this is something most girls can connect with I guess. At least, I'd hope so!

It was beauty? Perfection? Gosh Nadia! You have done to me what I have apparently done to you, with this review :')

Thank you SO much!


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Review #19, by nott theodore Chapter 1

12th September 2013:
Hi Adi- I'm here with your requested review!

Okay, so this is the first Draco/Astoria story I've read and I'm excited about it. With a character like Astoria there's so much freedom in the way that you choose to portray her, and I'm intrigued by how you're going to develop this.

You portrayed the idea of first love and romance really well; the fact that Astoria had a crush on Draco when she was younger and in school was a really nice touch. I think that made it more realistic that Astoria reacted in the way she did when she saw Draco later on, and it rekindled the old feelings. However childish it sounds, you always hear of people never forgetting their first love, so it makes sense to me that Astoria would be feeling that way when she encounters her old crush again.

Your characterisation of Astoria is really interesting! I think it's easy to make people involved in the war either heroes or villains, whereas there were plenty of people who fell in between, who sat on the fence and did nothing but try and save themselves. Her reaction to it is even more interesting to me - the fact that the war has affected her in a way which causes her to seek refuge in the Muggle world. It's not something you'd expect a pureblood Slytherin to do, but I really like the idea.

The only real suggestions I'd make for improvement are that you could add a little more description into the chapter, just to enhance and balance the writing a bit more, since you've got a lot of information about what has happened in the past.

The relationship between Astoria and Daphne is interesting, and it seemed to be portrayed realistically as well. They don't agree on everything and they haven't even been in contact for a while towards the end of this chapter, but the relationship between them hasn't dissolved because of it.

I think my favourite thing about this was actually the way that Astoria was addressing Draco throughout the chapter, because it's not something I've seen done very often but you wrote it really well. I'll be interested to see if you're going to continue with that style of narrative in the rest of the story or switch.

I hope this review was helpful for you!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian :)

I know what you mean. I end up writing more about these characters because of the creative freedom! I've never written Draco/Astoria before, and there aren't too many stories revolving around them. I really can't say I've read anything about them.

Well, I do believe that first loves and first crushes are really special; it's something you'll never forget. I think it happens around us all the time, so I kind of extended it into fanfiction. Thank you for validating my thoughts on this one :) I was wondering if people would accept it.

I'm trying to establish her as a really unique person. Yes, she was a pureblood. But what if she regretted her actions? Or the lack of them? What if she wished that her family hadn't influenced her decision, even if it wasn't imposing in any way. I've always pictured Astoria as a strong woman with controversial views. I've touched upon that in this chapter too. I'm glad you found the characterization interesting :) I hope she was engaging enough as a person. I know I've explored some uncharted territory here. I'm glad you felt it worked! I'm so happy you liked the idea! :)

You do have a point. When I edit this (and it HAS to be soon because it is riddled with typos :/), I'll fix that up too. Try to add in some more description and not just history.

I think the bonds we have with siblings are special that way. It's harder to re-establish yourself or re-connect with someone when they're not your sibling. there's always something about being one's blood sister or brother! I intend to touch upon this more if I get the chance! I'm happy you found it realistic :)

Aw. :) Thanks, Sian. That's something I was incredibly nervous about actually. Because it isn't something I've tried before or even read. I do wish to continue with that style, even if it ends up being a challenge!

Thanks Sian! :) *gives you a bar of chocolate*
Your reviews are the BEST! :)


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