Reading Reviews for Memoirs of an Object
  
14 Reviews Found

Review #1, by newgenerationlover Little Girl Lost

3rd September 2014:
Hello! Here for the BvB battle!

Wow, never really thought of Lily's life this way. I, being the hopeless romantic, believed without a second thought that when Lily said yes to James, she began her happily ever after... or as much as she could whilst a war raged around her. However, this seems like a very plausible outcome as well. We saw Lily as such a fiercely independent person and if you think about it you wouldn't really peg her for a 'marry right out of school' kind of person and be ready for a life at home.

I really enjoyed this story. Not only did I like seeing the different outlook but I thought you wrote this extremely well. Though you did stray off the normal path a bit, your Lily seems to be very canon-ish which I love. You perfectly captured the plight of a girl who is stuck in a place in her life where she doesn't see much going forward in. I also loved the ending, when it seemed like she was just going to be miserable forever, she sees the light in the fact that she will have a baby, a person that can have everything she couldn't. You did a wonderful job on this story :P

-Mary

 Report Review

Review #2, by MuNition Little Girl Lost

4th July 2014:
EXCELLENT!

Finally, one of those rare authors with the courage to take a realistic look at the darker side of the James/Lily relationship. They are the pretty and popular girl, dating the most popular jock at school, and after a year, they're married, two, she's pregnant, and so on.

These relationships seem so glamorous to teens who think that once they discover love, they know something other people don't. That is, until they discover that reality is no fairytale. After a while, the faults start to surface, the self-delusion of confident youth begins to falter...

And to capture it so succinctly, in just one scene, is an achievement.

Author's Response: I agree that it's the rare person who looks at James/Lily in this light, and this was a fun challenge to set for myself. It was neat to explore the raw emotion and vulnerability that Lily might have felt in this moment.

Thanks for another kind review! Hope you drop by again later for another of my tales!

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #3, by kenpo Little Girl Lost

4th January 2014:
Hey, I told you I'd give you another review to replace your request... so here I am!

Wow. I don't think I've ever read anything like this before. I've always wondered what it was like for Lily, having a child so young. You really provided a lot of insight.

I like that you kept going back to Severus. They'd shared so much, it doesn't surprise me that she'd think about him during big moments like this.

In your A/N, you asked for an opinion about whether or not you strayed too far from canon...

I say absolutely not! People often portray Lily and James as super happy all the time and Yaay, we have a baby!

But really, would they be like that? I'd guess no. I can think of very few people that would be over the moon about having a baby so young, and in the middle of the war. You did an amazing job with conveying her hesitation.

Another think that I loved what how you incorporated her muggle side. She spent 11 years without knowing magic, and I can see her doing this. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but I liked that you talked about how she wished she were a little girl, then she went to the doctor for comfort.

When she was a little girl, she used all muggle things (obviously). She looks to that time in her life with comfort, and so when she's stressed she likes to do muggle things.

Really great one-shot. I'm glad I messed up your review, so I read this!!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by and replacing my request with another review! That was kind of you!

I'm happy that you felt like Lily's feelings were realistic and in keeping with her canon characterization. I do feel like she would struggle with a lot of doubts during this time in her life, like her failed friendship with Severus and her anxiety over being catapulted into marriage and motherhood. I'm sure she and James loved each other and Harry very much, but I doubt it was a walk in the park for either of them.

I like your point about how it was like she was a child, going to the doctor for comfort all over again. I did think that maybe returning to familiar Muggle surroundings would provide Lily with some comfort.

Thanks for your kind review!

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #4, by LightLeviosa5443 Little Girl Lost

1st January 2014:
Review Battle!

So, I don't normally read stories about James and Lily, though this one was really just Lily, but I absolutely LOVED it. I love how you conveyed how Lily felt, how she missed her mum, how Severus had made her feel, how she felt around James.

Your description's impeccable and I admire that you were able to put so much emotion and so much backstory into just one scene of a one-shot. Brilliant job. I honestly couldn't even find CC to comment upon to add more to this review. Just that I absolutely loved your story.

xoxo LL

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm happy you felt like Lily's emotions were realistic and that you enjoyed the description. I always try to pack a lot into my stories, even the one-shots, and I'm pleased when it works out well :)

Thanks so much for your kind review!

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #5, by milominderbinder Little Girl Lost

5th November 2013:
Hiya! Here from the Ravenclaw review battle :) My internet crashed the first time I tried to submit this review so here's hoping for second time lucky...

Wow, I REALLY liked this. Honestly, this was the most unique portrayal of Lily I've ever come across, and I loved it. I usually like Lily/James but the one thing that has always really bugged me about it is the patriarchal objectification of Lily when Snape and James are fighting over her, and that's why I found this story so incredibly interesting.

I thought her feelings on young motherhood and young marriage were incredibly realistic and moving. The fact that she and James got married so young, after probably only a year of dating and then had a baby while they were still teenagers as well, it's often romanticised in fic as the best thing that could happen to them, they're over the moon and so in love, etc. You showed a really fascinating flip side to that idea here, which I actually think is a lot more realistic and interesting. Being nineteen and pregnant is terrifying in any situation, let alone when you're at the centre of a war, and having such conflicted feelings about your relationship as Lily is here.

I really adored how you blended Lily's magic and muggle sides. A lot of the time that gets overlooked in fic; Muggleborns immediately take to the magical world as though they've lived in it all their lives and never had to rely on non-magical methods of living. It was so interesting here that Lily needed the comfort of a muggle test to back up the wizarding test; it shows that she's still connected to her roots, not quite able to give herself completely to the magical world. I think that also feeds into her unsurety here - she's torn between the different sides of herself.

Overall I loved this, it was the most fascinating portrayal of Lily's pregnancy and marriage that I've ever read, and I think you hit every point perfectly. Well done!

~Maia

Author's Response: Hello, thanks for stopping by!

You usually hear about that objectification when people are talking about Snape/Lily, but it seems to disappear when James comes into the picture, like everything is romance and roses again. I dislike that, and it was a big inspiration for this one-shot. Great to know I'm not alone!

It's lovely to hear that you felt my depiction of Lily's circumstances was realistic. I cannot even imagine going through so many life changes at such a young age, particularly becoming a mother, and I wanted to chip away at her perfect veneer a little and show that she could have real, painful emotions about her situation.

Yep, I think Lily would still be trying to blend her Muggle past with her magical present and really get a handle on who she is as a witch, just because she is so young and fresh to it all. Glad you liked that!

Thanks for your really kind review :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #6, by SilentConfession Little Girl Lost

13th October 2013:
Amanda, I can't say sorry enough for how long this review has taken. I'm mortified that it has taken so long. It has truly been a mental few weeks for me and although i read this a bit ago I never had the time to sit down and give it a proper review.

What I really liked about this is how human Lily is. Lily can be a really hard character to get and I'm constantly plagued by these perfect little Lily's who seem full of butterflies and daisies. That never really sits well in my mind for some reason. But she's so different in this. So much more than that and I really can feel her as a realistic character that's actually relatable.

One of my favourite scenes to read was when she was looking at all these pastel covered things, the camels and the toys. It all seemed so joyful and pretty and innocent. Lily seemed really out of place there, like a really big dark spot. It was just her connection to the wizarding war and how that is anything but innocent and yet she finds herself here and it's a really weird juxtaposition that my mind really liked.

I really appreciated the darker undertones to this as well. It wasn't overdone by any means, but there is a general sense that she's fully realised the position she's in. Her thoughts on the fact that she was married at 18 and pregnant at 19 really summed the tone of this whole one-shot up. It captures their melancholy in a way i don't think anything else could. It is like life is happening to her so fast and yet she hasn't quite figured out what it all means and what her emotions of the whole thing really is. We just see her unhappy. Conflicted about her emotions both on the baby, her husband and his suffocation and an old childhood friend. This is all twisted together in a really beautiful way.

I like how run down Lily seems. How exhausted she is of being love and showing love and trying to deal with the shadows in the world. She seems like she's had too much and this baby is just one more thing that she's almost sure she cannot handle its demanding cries for attention. I also have this impression that she's felt imprisoned for a long while and having a child isn't going to set her free. She just feels like it's one more thing that will control her life. I like how you've presented that.

I like this whole thing actually. I don't think i have one CC to give as I loved how you've conceptualized this. How Lily's gone back to her roots and throughout the whole thing she cannot stop thinking about the times she had before her life was poisoned by walls and magic and the complexities of human love and emotion. It is truly a stunning piece of work.

Author's Response: And now it's my turn to apologize profusely for how long my response has taken. Urgh!

I agree; so often Lily is portrayed as this fluffy little package of perfection that is continually stalked by James's doe-eyed stare (see what I did there?). I had one reviewer on Post Scriptum who postulated that my Lily was too good and sweet and that as a result she became a flat character. That critique--which I think was quite founded--was part of my inspiration in attempting this piece. I loved the idea of Lily taking herself back from legions of shipper arguments and blogger drawings.

But yeah, I really thought it would be hard to go from this fairytale romance and ostensibly simple life to being suddenly thrust into a war and a marriage and now motherhood at such a young and naive age. And I think Lily would be too smart just to eat it all up and force herself to accept it. I think she would resist and fight the things that were happening to her, not just the obvious example of Voldemort but even the smaller issues that plague her here. In fact, they wouldn't even be considered small problems if not overshadowed by a war. Poor Lily hasn't done anything to deserve her circumstances, but she feels trapped in them all the same, and I wanted to give her her own way of coping with this realization.

I'm really pleased that you enjoyed the story. Thanks for your lovely review :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #7, by forsakenphoenix Little Girl Lost

9th October 2013:
Amanda! I've been missing Harry Potter fanfiction lately and I decided to take a break from studying boards to see if you had anything new. I was pleasantly surprised to find this one-shot! I always enjoy reading your fics, mostly because I know I'm in for a treat when it comes to character studies - and I love how you portray Lily here.

I don't know if I would necessarily call this story morbid. Honest, yes. People forget how young Lily and James were when they married and had Harry (after all, they were only 21 when they died). I guess sometimes thinking of their ages objectively like that is often difficult when you have to come to terms with what they had to face with the war.

But you make Lily think about the consequences of bringing a child into the world in the midst of a war - she seems like the character that would think about all these things, weigh the pros and cons. All the while you remind us of her Muggle past. I really loved that detail - that she used magic first to tell her she was pregnant but fell back on familiarity with Muggle medicine. I think it says a lot about her and her desire to hold onto things that remind her of her past.

I think my favorite line was the bit about "selfish little hope". This is Lily's chance to take control of her life, to not let anyone tell her what to do, or how to raise her child. This child is a new start for her, perhaps a way to relive those special moments between mother and child, but now being on the other side of it.

I wish I had more to say, or some sort of constructive criticism, but we all know that I'm rubbish at that anyway. This was lovely and so well-written, which is not a surprise at all. I'm glad to see you continue to write and explore different characters and scenarios. It's wonderful. :)

Author's Response: Missy! Please excuse the fact that this response is woefully overdue. I miss you and hope you'll be back to HPFF very soon!

Lily is so fun to investigate. I was just enamored with her all summer. While I got married only slightly later than Lily, I can't even imagine having a child at that age. I just feel for her because she must have felt so alone, having to learn to be a wife and mother with only so much help from her non-wizarding family and limited contact with the outside world. No wonder she grew up so fast and quickly became the woman capable of facing down Voldemort in exchange for her child's life--it's even more startling to think about when I consider the contrast with the Lily I present here.

I didn't want to make Lily into another Hermione, worrying about the tiniest details of her pregnancy and poring over thousands of baby books, but I did feel like she would be pretty practical and might even use details to fall into an escape from her real world troubles and intense emotions. I pictured her conducting a home pregnancy test and basically living with constant anxiety until she got the confirmation from the doctor--and she wasn't even sure how to feel about the situation until that moment. I think of Lily as a person whose decisions mean a lot to her, and she wouldn't arrive at them lightly.

Everyone loves that line, although it was honestly a last minute addition that just sort of popped into my head. Gotta love it when that happens. But yeah, I like to think of Lily's strength as being visible in this small moment, when she decides to take change and stop being a victim. I think it's when "Lily the woman" starts to emerge.

Thank you so much for your awesome review! I'm really glad you enjoyed the story :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #8, by adluvshp Little Girl Lost

20th September 2013:
Hi Academica! I am sorry it has taken me a while but I am finally here with your requested review =)

Holy Moly. This was certainly an interesting and unique piece of writing! I absolutely loved it! You always give your own spin to the characters we know and have a certain a perception of, but this was certainly something very, very new and different, and something I enjoyed reading a lot.

I think you totally nailed your aim of writing a "darker" Lily. I loved how you picked up on her being treated like a possession by Severus and James, and built this up on that. It was very innovative, refreshing, and interesting.

Despite this being a 'darker' side of her, I still found the whole scenario pretty realistic, which is great. It seems plausible that a pregnant Lily would wonder about her life and happiness, and how the baby would affect it and such. It made sense that she would question herself and her choices of being married at eighteen and a baby at nineteen - she is barely an adult after all, and it is normal.

I also loved how she wanted to go back into her past/childhood - she is so reflective here which in my opinion suits her character. Her thoughts towards James and Severus are complex and vague, and I like that. It's like we know she's unhappy yet it's not completely explained which adds to the darkness and mystery of the situation. All those thoughts in fact made her so human - so different from her usual mary-sue portrayal of this happy, sunny girl.

A small detail I enjoyed here was how you didn't forget that Lily was a muggleborn. She wanted to confirm her pregnancy with both muggle and magical ways, which shows that though she is a witch and has spent a huge chunk of her life in the wizarding world, she hasn't left her muggle world behind. It is a detail that many writers often forget - making characters like Hermione, Lily etc. completely foregoing their muggle lives and identities, which irks me. You, on the other hand, have done just the opposite and i love that =)

Another aspect of this one-shot that enthralled me was how even after Lily accepted her child - thinking 'maybe my baby will even love me' - she still accepted it for her own selfishness. It was very much obvious from her thoughts, and then the part about it being 'her own little selfish hope' totally reinforced that, which was brilliant.

I'll forever keep rambling about everything I loved about this story and your characterisation of Lily if I don't stop now, so I'll wrap up xP Over all, your writing of a darker Lily came across as exceptional and very interesting, and I had a great time reading this. It did deviate from canon, but I'll say not too much, because after all Lily is only human, and what we see of her in canon is someone who has matured a lot already and seen a lot in life. The time this one-shot is set in, I think all her thoughts here really make sense, and only add to her character, not deviate from it.

So, I really loved this one-shot and I think you were amazing in both conceptualising and writing it. Your descriptions and imagery were awesome as always, and grammar flawless. The story flowed really well, especially the way you slipped from present to past and back in between, and it all made for a great read.

Again, I don't have any CC to offer you. Keep it up =)

10/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hey Angie! Thanks so much for this wonderful review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story enough to want to podcast it! That's so awesome :)

I'm happy that you liked my idea of a darker Lily. I still think of her as a good person, but I wanted to emphasize her young age and some of the fear and doubt she would probably have been feeling during this time. It's also great to hear that the theme of her wanting to be her own person and not to be possessed by anyone else came through okay and made sense to you here.

To be honest, the more I read reviews of this story, the more I'm convinced that I based a lot of Lily on myself. For one thing, I tend to look for things that are familiar to comfort me when I get upset or anxious, and I have definitely sat and wished I was still a kid with my mom sometimes when adult life is really, really difficult. Art imitates life sometimes, I guess :)

The comment about the baby being her own selfish hope was meant to represent Lily taking back her own life. No one is going to control her, not even the child growing inside her--instead, she's going to raise him as she chooses and accept his love while still maintaining her own independence. She's looking to recapture part of what she can't get back from her own childhood.

Again, I'm really pleased that you liked this. Thanks again for your amazing review :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #9, by patronus_charm Little Girl Lost

12th September 2013:
Hi Amanda! I meant to get to this a lot sooner but school is eating away at my HPFF time so it ended up taking me an age :P

Your characterisation of Lily was excellent if I saw so myself! I really loved how you took the risk to portray the darker and more twisted side of Lily, because if you look at her background at this time you would expect it to be like that. I really loved how the age played a big factor in her feeling like that, because I think a lot of people overlook that so to have her reminiscing about her wanting to be a child was a really wonderful. The complexity of the feeling coupled with the fact she was now forced out of that by having her own child was just great. :D

One thing that was really poignant for me was the theme of her needing to go back to her roots. She wanted the security of being a child but as she couldnít have that due to being pregnant she sought that in finding out whether she was or not through Muggle means. She just felt so lost and bewildered, and I thought you captured her feelings perfectly in this turbulent stage of her life. Also, another thing about that scene which I really liked was the description relating to the test. It was sort of sparse but really effective and created a great atmosphere for it.

The thoughts about Snape made me just want to cry. I never thought about his thoughts from a perspective of him being her friend but this made me think from that, and it added a new light on both of their characters. Again, it tied in really well with the whole going back to her roots theme and I thought the thought you put into conveying that was really great.

The lack of mentions towards James was really interesting. Iíve never seen a Lily so detached from him in a way, but I really liked it. Yes, they were in love but were they necessarily meant to be? That question which seemed to resonate throughout this story was really great, and questioned fan fiction as whole in away about how we almost put them on a pedestal without looking at the depth of them, but you didnít it and created that depth which is why this is so great! ♥

I didnít think you strayed far from the canon path mainly because we donít know much about Lily so how sheís portrayed is usually dictated to us with what others do in fan fiction. Gah, I just love this! ♥

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey Kiana! I can always depend on you to leave me a kind, thought-provoking review :)

Oh, I'm so glad you like my Lily! You're right--in the same way that people tend to forget that there was a war going on in Marauder times, they don't tend to talk about Lily and James's youth when they got married and had a child. On top of that, I can definitely relate to the feeling of wanting to be a carefree child again and missing having my mother there to solve all of my problems now that I'm an adult.

I liked the idea of Lily sneaking off to a Muggle doctor in order to be sure that she was pregnant before she went home to James. I thought of it as providing her a moment of solitude and some comfort in the midst of her apprehension about the test results. I tried not to describe the testing in too much detail because we know how it works and I thought it would be kind of gross, but I'm glad that the imagery I did include worked well for you.

I'm pleased that you liked how I discussed Severus and James here. It's still hard for me to be fair to James because I really don't get why people are so enamored with him, but I tried to emphasize that Lily still loves him despite wanting to be her own woman and have fewer responsibilities. I am glad that you felt like I exposed some of what gets glossed over in most fanfiction.

Thank you so much for your awesome review :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #10, by marauderfan Little Girl Lost

11th September 2013:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review.

This is such an interesting story, and I'm really glad you decided to write it. It always struck me as so strange that Lily and James were only 21 when they died, and had a baby when they were 19! That seems so young! And yeah, they were in love, etc. but I really love how you've captured Lily's worries and unease about it. It's something that will change her life forever, and she's still wondering if she's lived enough for herself yet before she has a baby and has to put him first instead. It's easy to not realise just how tough of a situation that must have been for her, so I'm glad you really went into that.

You've written Lily darker than she usually is portrayed, but still is very Lily. In all her memories of childhood, and of her sister, and all the happiness and carefree-ness... but it's viewed as kind of a bitter reflection from someone who had to grow up too fast. I'm starting to ramble - but I really like your Lily. The darker aspect really makes her a deeper, more complicated, and ultimately more relatable character.

And about James treating her as a possession - that was an interesting paragraph. It's clear that they loved each other but it made me wonder, if Voldemort hadn't killed them, would Lily and James have stayed together for years? (personally I like to think they would have, but you've hinted that maybe Hogwarts sweethearts don't live happily ever after - so kudos on the realism there.)

It doesn't deviate too far from canon, and the story definitely makes sense. I think you did a wonderful job with it! I always enjoy your writing so much, and this was no exception.

Author's Response: Hey there, thanks for coming by!

I'm really happy that you liked my take on Lily. I didn't want to pretend like she and James didn't love one another, but I wanted to emphasize her youth and the possibility of her fear because I think it gets downplayed a lot for the sake of romance. I see some similarities in the possessive way Severus and James felt toward Lily, and there was something about James that made her feel like he could be forgiven for that. I'd love to figure out what it was someday.

It's great that Lily feels more relatable to you. I can definitely empathize with her feelings about wanting to be a child again and missing her family, because I often dwell on that as a busy, stressed adult.

I'm definitely not saying that James and Lily wouldn't have stayed together. I guess what I tried to emphasize is that they, like any other couple, might have had some arguments and might have doubted things--James as well as Lily, though I went with her in this piece. I think that can be said of any struggling young adult. To me, if you can love each other and persevere through those challenging times, that makes for a much more intriguing love story.

Thank you for your wonderful review :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #11, by BLONDEbehaviour Little Girl Lost

9th September 2013:
Hi there! Blondie here with your requested review :)

This was very entertaining to read! You really have an interesting aspect of Lily here, and i really really enjoyed it!

You have definitely succeeded in writing a darker Lily. We are always depicted that once she gets together with James that it is all happiness and love, but it shows that there can always be more to relationships, and I think you have depicted it well through this idea of her being worried about what this baby will mean for her and her happiness which already seems to be flickering.

The story does make sense. I like how you were vague at times, it helps to give the mystery of her unhappiness through, as well as showing that there may be more to Lily, a darker side that we were not shown as their loved ones were trying to remember them in a happy way.

I think it does deviate from the canon, but not in a bad way. Like i said in the paragraph before this, we may have been given a blurred judgement of the couple, and this just shows a different side to her, and it is effective in this storyline.

Hope this was helpful! Really,really cool story! Thank you for requesting :)

Please respond to this review :)

Grace

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by! I'm sorry the response was a bit delayed; my work week is extremely busy. Anyway, I'm here now!

It's great to hear that you found my Lily interesting. I agree that our go-to perception of her romance with James is of them riding off into the sunset, so to speak, and I wanted to go back to the notion that she's young and probably scared about becoming a mother, especially in the midst of a war. I think part of it is that we know her through others, like you said, and they only recall the fondest parts of her.

I'm glad that the story makes sense and that the canon deviation still seems to fit.

Thanks so much for your kind review :)

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #12, by Illuminate Little Girl Lost

8th September 2013:
Hi! Ravenclaw Review Tag!

This is a really interesting story! I never have read about Lily in this point of view- as a woman who has always felt objectified and underappreciated as a person. She's always been a bright, happy woman in the stories that I've read, and while she also seems like that kind of person in this, I think you've really deepened her character and made her more complicated and dark. I don't think you've strayed from the canon at all! I think the best fanfiction strives to add to the canon rather than stray from it, which is what you've done :)

The prose doesn't feel clunky at all, it's very smooth and easy to read, the flow is great. I like that we don't see James or anyone else in this oneshot, this is wholly about Lily and when she finds out that little Harry is on his way.

Favourite bit- when you mentioned about fighting to stay still at her sister's wedding; I wouldn't want to let my sister marry that man either!

Great job!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for stopping by!

It's great that you feel like this is still canon Lily, just with a darker twist. That's very comforting for me to hear :) I'm also glad that you liked how the plot was centered on Lily so that she could really be explored as an individual, apart from her roles as a wife and mother in canon.

Hah, I agree! I think it would have been tough and awkward for Lily, knowing that Petunia didn't even want her there after all that they did together as young sisters.

Thanks for your lovely review!

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #13, by Violet Gryfindor Little Girl Lost

7th September 2013:
This was a great one-shot, Amanda! I loved being able to see Lily in this situation because it's what gets left out of most Marauder stories, perhaps because it's too realistic, or too everyday, yet it's a significant event for many reasons. It probably has to do with my pet peeve that people don't portray Lily and James's relationship realistically enough, right down to the fact that they were eighteen when they married and only nineteen when they had a baby - I was really glad to see that Lily was questioning these things and panicking at the thought of having a child, not only so young, but during a war. For someone as conscientious as Lily, all of these things pose a serious problem - she goes through with it in the end, but those moments of hesitation and fear, however brief, make her so human. You also make her a wonderful thinker, haunted by past and future alike, hungry for a return to her childhood and reaching for the hope offered by her son (the phrase "little selfish hope" was brilliant - she wants the child for herself, perhaps as a chance to relive her own childhood vicariously or to become to him what her mother was to her).

Another interesting aspect of this story was the clash between Muggle and magical, which is always an important element of Lily's characterization. She embraces the magical world, but like Hermione, she can't entirely abandon the world of her childhood - instead, she lives in between. So you end up with instances like this one, where she's tested herself magically, yet still needs the reassurance of a Muggle test. I don't think it's so much that she distrusts her ability with potions, but rather it's important to remember that she's only been part of the magical world for eight years - even though she knew of her magic before she came to Hogwarts, I doubt that she would have had many interactions with it beyond Snape. So she goes to the Muggle doctor because it's still the world she knows best.

There are many other things I could add about your characterization of Lily, but then I'd be rambling on forever. What you've done here is fantastic! The writing is likewise, though that's not at all a surprise - you write Lily's inner musings wonderfully, setting them in contrast with the clinical setting of tests, small details and measurements, and a careful order of things. Amazing work!

Author's Response: Hey Susan :)

You know, I usually don't find pregnancy stories interesting, but I sort of fell in love with the idea of Lily's vulnerability during this time. She's got so much pressure--the literal pressure of expecting a child, learning how to be a wife, trying to watch her back when so many people want to destroy her for learning to do magic. I feel like we as a fandom get so caught up in the idea of James and Lily as a perfect couple with their perfect child and it just washes away who she really was, at least for me. I really craved wanting to know the girl who was praised by so many for her many beautiful qualities and really good heart, but more than that, I wanted to see if there was more under the surface of that heart. I think "conscientious" is the perfect word to describe her, which is why I decided at the last minute to allow her to consider the possibility of not letting a child be born during wartime. In fact, the "selfish hope" line was a total afterthought, so it's great that you felt it was well-placed there!

Yeah, I really wanted to emphasize that Lily is still relatively new to the magical world and didn't grow up with this casual exposure to magic and spellwork like her friends did. I thought she might seek some comfort in familiar surroundings during this tumultuous and scary time, and really, that's part of the theme of holding onto herself here, too.

Thanks so much for your really sweet review! It's great that you think I pulled this off!

-Amanda


 Report Review

Review #14, by toomanycurls Little Girl Lost

7th September 2013:
I've always debated if Snape was really better than Lily at potions. Slughorn seemed to dote on Lily in a way that would suggest she was a star pupil. When Harry copied Snape's book for the first potion class, Slughorn mentioned that not even Snape had done as good a potion his first try. What I'm getting to is that I've wondered if the Advanced Potion Making book of Snape's had a collaborative effort with the notes in the margins. I've always thought they were at least equals when it came to potions.

It's interesting that she doesn't/think about know his family has a good amount of money. I like that it didn't influence their relationship. ^_^

I like how you wrote her trepidation about being pregnant. It's a very realistic look at young marriage and young motherhood (plus the war thing). I really like her complexity and depth. I haven't read a lot of Lily fics so seeing her so dark is fascinating. I really love the line about Snape pushing her boundaries too far once. It says so much and makes my mind want to know what he did.

I found the possession aspect to be very interesting. Two men did, quite literally, fight over her. It might be nice to have more detail about James being possessive. I did like the captive affection line; it said volumes.

I kind of feel like I rambled. I hope it was helpful! ^_^

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for coming by! And I don't mind rambling. Your review was indeed very helpful :)

I actually really like the idea of Severus and Lily collaborating on their potions work. It's kind of cool to think that they might have had some friendly competition (at least for a while) and could have discussed potions together casually in their free time. I still think of Charms as Lily's main forte because of the comment made about her wand, but obviously Slughorn did hold her in high esteem, particularly as a Muggleborn.

I like to think that money had little to do with James and Lily being together. I don't see her as the kind of girl to demand his assistance or really dwell a lot on the subject, though I can't imagine that James didn't offer to help her out from time to time before they were married.

Yay, I accomplished what I set out to accomplish with dark Lily! I really tried to capture her independent spirit and the complex feelings that she might have had around this time in her life, in the midst of a war designed to eradicate her "species." I also think that the real depth of her relationship with Snape is something that only the two of them--or possibly even her--will really understand, and I sort of love the beauty associated with that thought.

I was a bit afraid of being too cruel to James because he's sort of a golden boy to a lot of the fandom. I'm glad you liked the line about captive affection, though, because it's one of my favorites here.

Thanks so much for your lovely review!

-Amanda


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login