230 Reviews Found

Review #1, by k1187700 Boredom: Rose and Scorpius POV

1st October 2014:
AH! I can't believe this chapter was up so fast! Great chapter! I would feel the same way as Rose about being cooped up and it goes a lot to showing that although she is moving on, it's still going to haunt her. Most story's blast past that like, once you're doing okay, you've forgotten the incidence but it still creeps up on you! I do like in how you interpret all the old characters too. Most the time on this site Harry, Ron and Hermione become vague parental figures but you've stayed true to how they seem in JK's books and added more to their story, not just ignored the years that have meant to have passed. But you still haven't even dropped a hint about what the mystery is. Please update just as fast again! I love this story! I love Rose and Scorpius together! I love how you've incorporated all their relationships! It's a really good story! You've written it so well, it will kill me if I don't find out how it ends!

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Review #2, by CambAngst Boredom: Rose and Scorpius POV

1st October 2014:
Hi, Beth!

Ooh, a cliffhanger! Who is the mysterious person in the house where Rose arrived? Obviously it's somebody who's familiar with her problems. Very curious.

I was wondering whether something like this might happen, although I was thinking Scorpius was more likely to go stir-crazy than Rose. I guess it's actually an expected part of her recovery. Now that she's had a little taste of what life could be like, it must be hard to be smothered in the darkness of Grimmauld Place because of Stannous. I know I'd find that horrible. He's torturing her in a completely different way, not even needing to be present.

Honestly, I was a fan of Rose's central idea. She really could use to brush up on her defensive magic in a practical setting. Granted, she's probably rushing into things, but progress has to start somewhere. Trying to parlay that idea into a way to be outside, however, was a bit childish on her part. She should understand as well as anyone that Stannous has some way to get to her that the Aurors don't know how to counteract, short of placing her under unbreakable magical protection. All in all, it seems like both sides were being kind of ridiculous. Given the strain she's under, I can see how Rose would have reacted poorly to what she would see as further coddling/imprisoning.

The group lost valuable time while trying to overcome their shock and figure out what to do. I hope that doesn't come back to haunt them. I really liked Scorpius's idea of going directly to Ron and Hermione. Aside from their house being as likely as anywhere for Rose to be, he's building some additional trust with Ron. Rose probably won't like it, but she's not really thinking straight at this point. I just hope Scorpius doesn't talk himself out of being honest with them before he can tell them what's happened.

So where has Rose actually gone? My random guess is Harry's house, and the person behind her is Ginny. But hey, I'm probably way far off. We shall see.

I noticed one thing of consequence while I was reading: "Don't say anything to alarm Nana Molly or Grandad, just act like you came for a quick visit and send me a patronus." -- This line comes from Scorpius, if I'm reading it right, so it doesn't sound right for him to refer to Molly and Arthur that way.

Otherwise, brilliant chapter! I enjoyed it thoroughly and I can't wait for you to spring your surprise on us!

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Review #3, by MargaretLane Boredom: Rose and Scorpius POV

1st October 2014:
I like the sound of this chapter. You indicated things were about to get intense in your reply to my last review and I enjoy a bit of intensity, though I'm not sure whether it's going to be emotional intensity or villain stalking people intensity. The former is my favourite, though the latter could be interesting too.

And I LOVE the summary to this chapter. I assume it means because she can't go out for fear of the villain rather than being a reference to her mental state, as I originally thought, but either is interesting.

I really like the way you go into detail about how much the restrictions are bothering her. So many stories end all stress once the character begins to confront their demons or the main pairing gets together, whereas in reality, problems aren't sorted so easily and being so restricted WOULD be extremely difficult. Especially as it seems to be dragging on for months on end. It may be minor compared with her post-traumatic stress and the risk of death, but the little things are still frustrating even when you have bigger problems.

Poor Wolfram Longbottom. He sounds a little like his dad, just from that little comment. Assuming he is his son. He could be a cousin or something too, I guess.

Hmm, I'm now intrigued as to what it is that Ruth has found out.

And I like the positive note in her letter. The whole comment about the faster her recovery will be reminds her that she will recover without being so positive as to make Rose feel guilty or inadequate if she doesn't progress as fast as she might.

She does seem to be doing better though. In a way, even her frustration and annoyance is a good sign, as her focus on the restrictions shows the other problems aren't demanding so much of her attention that she is unable to carry about the more petty problems.

And in practically the next LINE we get a real impression of how much better she is doing when she says she's now ready to experience life again, but can't. It may be unfair and really annoying, but I still think it's better than her not being up to experiencing life "outside her little cocoon." There are real indications she'll recover. Of course, that assumes she doesn't experience further trauma at the villain's hands that set her back. Even just seeing him or having reason to fear another immediate attack could easily set back her recovery.

And in the very next line, she considers the possibility of another attack.

And I like the little details like that Scorpius and Rose enjoy cooking whereas Albus and Selenia do the easiest options possible.

I think it is good for her to learn some extra defensive spells, just in case there aren't enough Auror around to protect her. However I really don't think it would be a good idea for her to remain and fight if it is possible for her to get away and I can easily see her doing so. She's not an Auror, she's at greater risk than other people as it appears it's her the villain is after and she has trauma issues that aren't going to be helped by being injured in battle. But I can easily see her not wanting to leave other people to fight when it is likely to be her presence that drew the villain in the first place.

Harry'd be a bit of a hypocrite to object to the underground teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts, wouldn't he? But I guess this is different, as Rose has, or should have, adequate protection, whereas the Hogwarts students were not receiving adequate preparation in Harry's fifth year.

I doubt Rose would go anywhere unprotected. While she may not know the full story (and I am intrigued as to what it is she doesn't know), I think she knows enough to realise what a bad idea that'd be. But then on the other hand, she may just be frustrated enough to take a risk.

Stay with somebody who can protect you, Rose!

I'd be inclined to put a "pm" after the "seven o'clock" part, though it's not really necessary as the next line and the fact they are having dinner makes it clear it's the evening anyway.

I hope she is with Ron and Hermione.

Hmm, you've left it up in the air where she is even after she arrives. I'm intrigued. It could be her mum she's with, but I kind of doubt it. Harry, maybe. Although the bit about knowing how she is could indicate her mother, as Hermione would understand the trauma she's feeling.

Many of the people I'd consider aren't options, as we know Albus and Scorpius don't know where she is. Hmm.

I think the flow of this chapter is better than previous chapters, maybe because of the beta. I thought it read really well anyway, whatever the reason.

And yeah, that part I mentioned in the last chapter may well be a dialect thing. I've seen it like that in other stories too.

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Review #4, by insertofafanboy Boredom: Rose and Scorpius POV

30th September 2014:
Oh my god,im so nervous for what's to come! Your story is incredible, and your a really skilled writer. Keep up the great work...and don't kill me with Scorose feels...

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm so excited you like my story! Thanks for leaving a review. I'll try not to kill you - haha, but there is a bit of action coming...

Beth


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Review #5, by slytherinchica08 Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

25th September 2014:
WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I swear I should never read your story while I'm at work for fear of me tearing up and gasping, and yelling at my screen for all that you are putting me through.

I felt so bad for Al and Scorp in this chapter, as well as everyone else, but to me those two really stood out and made me feel so horribly for them. Al is definitely a powerful wizard, you can see that very clearly with these past few chapters and I can only imagine that that is going to come into play in the future chapters. Scorp is also powerful in his own right but definitely not nearly as powerful as Al. I still love the dynamic you have between the two as friends. They lean on each other and understand each other so well and its just a really nice to see. You can really feel Scorps pain in this chapter. He feels like he let her down, not knowing that she had all these scars on her body. But of course, Rose has been very careful to make sure that no one knew about them so its not his fault about that. Although with the ending it seems like something did happen in the past where Scorpius let Rose down and it seems like maybe it had something to do with this whole situation. But I guess only time will really tell for me.

I love how well these chapters flow. I never trip over anything while reading and there aren't any mistakes that glare out at me either. Its all just really well written and very enjoyable to read! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #6, by diversrock Bombs and Bonds: Scorpius and Rose POV

24th September 2014:
Loving this, can't wait to read the rest!

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks so much for taking the time to leave this review! I've got plenty more coming!

Beth (Veritaserum27)


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Review #7, by slytherinchica08 Besieged: Rose POV

23rd September 2014:
Oh my goodness NO! And things were beginning to progress so well for Rose, but I did really like this chapter a lot as it continued to give us a little bit more of the background story. I do love how you are giving us that background information, its just small bits here and there and they just fit so well into the story line and it doesn't feel forced or anything and its just really wonderful! I wonder though how these events are going to affect Rose and her relationships in particular, her relationship with Scorpius as I can see it going either way, with her needing him around more to feel more protected, or wanting to stay away from everyone. With each chapter, I continue to find myself wanting more information to figure out what is going on and how this is all going to end up and while I know that only reading on will really tell me... gosh I really just want to know now! This is such a wonderful story and I'm really finding this very addictive and its definitely among my top stories! This is such a great read and I'm really glad that I came across it in the review tag. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #8, by slytherinchica08 Better: Rose POV

23rd September 2014:
Ah another wonderful chapter. I really liked the look into Roses pov of these events and what brought her to Harry's office. I like how she had a motherly instinct that took over her and she immediately started fixing the scraps and cuts and broken bones that had come from Harry and Al's duel. I loved the bit about Harry and how much he loves Rose and how much he wanted a daughter. I thought it was really sweet to include in the chapter and really added another dynamic to their relationship rather than just being Uncle and niece. I was so sad about how short that this chapter was but I did feel that it ended in a great spot so I can understand why it is so short. I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of the story and I apologize that this review isn't nearly as long as the others. But it was a wonderful chapter and I greatly enjoyed it! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #9, by slytherinchica08 Bitter: Scorpius POV

23rd September 2014:
AHAHAH! That ending was just so perfect and amazing and I can't stop smiling and chuckling at it! I really liked this chapter a lot! You really have done a great job with this story and the voice is just so wonderful and so well done. The whole thing flows together so well and I quickly find myself finished with the chapter wondering where it has gone and wanting to continue reading!

I really loved your characterization in this! Each person really came to life in this chapter from the small mentions of Ron and Teddy to Harry and Rose and Al and Scorp. Each one was portrayed so wonderfully and different from each other and so realistic. I loved how relaxed you had Ron while Harry and Al were getting rather heated during their duel and then the bits about Teddy starting off as relaxed and then slowly catching on to how things were becoming. Then there is the bit where Scorp stepped in and diffused the situation and made it seem like that was really all there was going to be of the duel was also a really nice touch to add! So really the characterization in this chapter was completely spot on and wonderful!

I really like the relationship between Al and Scorp. They definitely act a bit like brothers, teasing each other and also understanding each other without having to really say anything. The small look we got into Scorps date/not date with Rose was really cute too and I thought it was a nice little touch! And then there is the bit with Harry and I was just gushing! I loved how he didn't realize just how much stress he was really putting on Al but then because of this duel, he ended up realizing that he needed to do a better job of letting people know when they have done a good job on something. It was a very realistic trait to add in and really brought Harry's character even more to life. And then I loved how Harry still treats Scorpius a bit like a son as well, caring for his feelings and not really wanting to admit that he believes that Albus is the best in the class, but then also giving Scorpius the compliment that he is really good at diffusing situations, which I believe could very much come in handing especially as an Auror.

Really this whole chapter was so well put together and all of the small little details that went into it really stood out to me. Things like naming the exams S.N.A.K.Es and explaining what they meant really made this story a bit more grounded into the universe that we already know and I love that you have extensive training that needs to be done as well as exams that need to be passed as I think that's a very realistic thing to add to the story. There were a few small typos that I noticed throughout the chapter, but they were very few and didn't mess with the flow of the story at all so not a big deal.

The pacing is wonderful and everything just flows so well together. I'm honestly going to be very sad when I end up at the end of the posted chapters and then have to wait on updates because I want to know what is going to happen now! Also Scorpius and Rose must get together, they are just so cute together in everything that you have already portrayed and I just want them to be happy. Anyways, great job and I look forward to reading the next chapter!

~Slytherinchica08~

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Review #10, by LilyFlower_x Bombs and Bonds: Scorpius and Rose POV

23rd September 2014:
Gah! I need to know what happens next! This suspense is killing me! Good chapter, I do like the heart to heart and seeing more of what happened after the war. I just need you to put the next chapter up. And the rest of the story. This is killing me!

Author's Response: Wow!

This review was such a nice surprise. Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts. I hope to have the next chapter up soon!

Thanks again! ♥ Beth


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Review #11, by Guest Bombs and Bonds: Scorpius and Rose POV

22nd September 2014:
Looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thanks for leaving this review. I'm nearly done with the next chapter and I hope to have it in the queue soon!

Beth


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Review #12, by slytherinchica08 Besotted: Rose POV

20th September 2014:
Gosh with each chapter you just keep hitting me in the feels you know? Like seriously I'm just sitting here staring at my screen so happy and yet upset at how dumb they have both been/are being! How can they not see that they are meant to be for each other, come on you two get together already! GAH! I just want to lock them in Scorps room and not let them out until they have admitted how they feel to each other and finally start dating!

I liked that we got more of an idea of what happened to Rose back then, what with the marks and all,but I still have so many questions! I can tell that this isn't the full story of what happened to her, there is definitely more going on that we don't know about yet but I think that you've given us the perfect amount of information to keep your readers satisfied but yet wanting more! And that can be a really tricky balance to keep up and I think you are doing a fantastic job of it!

I love Roses pov and I can definitely see why this has won an award as its really well done! I think that this is a wonderful little gem of a story that I've stumbled upon through the review tag and I'm so glad that I have. Each chapter just continues to make me fall in love with this story and want to continue reading! The characterizations are wonderful and touching and so real. The thing I love the most about them so far is that they are done with a very realistic feeling to them. They have their faults and things that they are working through but they also have the things that are just so sweet and friendly and I just love it!

I also give you props for making up your own spell as I always find that as being one of the hardest parts. I can never seem to settle on a new spell or potion and end up reverting back to what we have already been given. The use of the different pieces in the potion were really well thought out too. I liked how you mentioned using a different ingredient the next time as the one seemed to only revert Scorp back to being drunk. It was a very inventive idea and really interesting to see and then bringing it back up in the end was a nice little tie in.

This story continues to pull me and is just absolutely wonderful. You can bet that I will be back again soon (if not today) to leave another review! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hello again,

Wow - you've blown me away with all of these amazing reviews. I'm glad that you feel so attached to the characters. I didn't want the love story to move too fast. I feel like that either feels false OR you fall into the "on again, off again" trap.

They are seriously into each other - BUT Rose still hasn't been completely honest with Scorpius about her past. I think that she needs to reconcile that for herself first before she can move on with him.

I really like coming up with my own magical ideas - and I'm so relieved that it's coming off as believable. The absolute worse thing a writer can do is make a story seem completely contrived, so that is a huge weight of my chest.

Potions are fun! I think that would've been my favorite class at Hogwarts. Sometimes, I feel it gets a bad rap because of Snape, but Rose (at least in my story) is really great at potions.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #13, by slytherinchica08 Bereft: Scorpius POV

20th September 2014:
You know with every chapter that I read, I end up finding myself more and more addicted to this story and needing to find out what happens next. The voice you have is done really well and I just continue to find myself drawn in and soon I'm at the end of the chapter wondering where it went! I love Scorps pov in this and it was really nice to see how it came to be that he spent a good chunk of time at the Potter household. I love his relationship with Rose as well. They have such a solid friendship one that benefits them both really well I think. And then Al is a wonderful balance for Scorp too just being silent yet that hand on his back to let him know that he is there for him. Its really touching and wonderful and I just really love it!

The description and wording of this story so far is absolutely beautiful and to be honest I think its better than some of the stories that I have bought! This is definitely up there on my list of favorite stories as its just really well written and so addictive! With each chapter you continue to give me more of a background on your characters and answer some questions only to have more pop up in their wake!

I loved the bit with Harry and Ron, that was so funny and just really great to read! I can definitely imagine Ron over reacting to that whole scene especially once we find out that Rose is not wearing any bottoms. The characterization was really well done and just so amazing. I also liked how Daphne ends up with a muggle as I think thats really original and really added another element to this story.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure that I could continue going on about how wonderful I thought this chapter was and how much I love this story but I feel like I would basically just be repeating myself over and over so this is where I will leave it! Great Job and I look forward to reading the next chapter!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Hi Erica!

I saw you nominated this story for "Most Addicting Story" Dobby award. Oh. My. Goodness. I was floored. Thank you so much.

Both Scorpius and Rose are pretty damaged in my version. I really wanted to write something that was a bit different. I'm so, so pleased you've given it a chance. Thank you so much!

I'm just so humbled by this review that I can't even right now. I did work pretty hard to plan out most of the story. And each detail is carefully laid out. I'm so glad to see that you pick up on ally of them!

I wanted an epic love story between Rose and Scorpius, but also a mystery for the next gen characters. I hope you aren't disappointed.

Writing Ron's irate reaction was a blast. He is so awkward around girls - especially his daughter and he is going to jump at any chance to take Malfoy down a peg.

I had great fun writing Daphne's husband as well. Harry sees a lot of himself in Scorpius - they both lost their parents and Scorpius really doesn't have anywhere to go. Harry wasn't about to let history repeat itself, so he takes Scorpius in.

Thanks again! This review made me smile so much!

Beth


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Review #14, by MargaretLane Bombs and Bonds: Scorpius and Rose POV

20th September 2014:
Your reviews on my story reminded me I still had a chapter of this to read. I saw it when it went up, but a number of stories I was following updated around the same time and I overlooked it.

VERY nit-picky, but I think "his hands jammed" might sound better in the first line, although his MAY be a dialect thing.

I'm wondering what they are all so shocked by. It sounds as if they've figured something out. Hmm. Hope we'll have some revelations soon. I'm intrigued as to what the villain's motivation is.

The title is rather ominous.

You've written "lackey's" as the possessive, when it should be the plural.

I like the way you draw attention to how irritating the restrictions are on Rose. It must be very difficult not to be able to just go somewhere when you want to, even if you know it's for your own safety.

She says her parents had been "somewhat accepting of Scorpius and I". It should be "me" as you'd say "they were accepting of me", not "they were accepting of I".

I like the way Hermione stresses it's not Rose's studies she's worried about.

And I LOVE the comment about how they were EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD war heroes. They were barely more than kids.

In fact I LOVE your whole description of Hermione's experiences after the war. They all ring so true. I've actually written a one-shot about her return to Hogwarts and have also focused on how she uses her studies and so on to deal with what she's been through, rather more successfully in my version though, as it's only a one-shot and there isn't time to deal with long-term traumatic effects.

The way she describes the events is so stark and really gives me the impression of how she's feeling. I think that is one of your real talents in writing - portraying how your characters are feeling. It was the same when you gave the first indications of Rose's trauma.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Ooo - This review was so awesome. Thanks so much ♥ Thank you for all the edits - I had caught a few of them, but I didn't notice the "Scorpius and I" typo - I'll be sure to fix those. I think the "hands jammed" vs. "his hands jammed" might be a dialect thing, but it's funny that you mention it because I read over that line again and again, thinking it sounded off. I'll give it another look.

I'm so glad you liked this chapter - it really was an add on, but it brought so much to the story and laid out some things that are necessary for the second part of the story - it's gonna get fairly intense for a bit (fair warning).

Haha - I feel like you and I are on the same page with so many things. I actually got distracted and started writing a Hermione/Ron story about her seventh year finishig up Hogwarts that goes along with this chapter!

Thank you so much for the lovely compliments. I do really try to get inside the head of my characters so I can portray them to the reader.

♥ Beth


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Review #15, by Dianainga Bombs and Bonds: Scorpius and Rose POV

15th September 2014:
This chapter is very well written. I had never thought about what Harry, Ron and Hermione had to face as a result of the ending of the war and that they were only 17 & 18. This really brings that point of view home! Cannot wait for the next chapter and to find out what the big reveal was about Stannous .

Author's Response: Hi Dianainga,

Thanks so much for leaving a review! I really considered Harry, Ron and Hermione's past a lot when writing this. There are a lot of stories set post-war, but I think that the group of them would've had a tougher time of it. I'm currently working on the next chapter.

Thanks again!
♥ Beth


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Review #16, by mymischiefmanaged Bitter: Scorpius POV

15th September 2014:
Hi Beth!

Back again, this time from review tag. There's so much I want to say about this wonderful chapter and I'm worried I might not remember to mention all of it, but here goes...

Love love love Al and Scorp's friendship. I know it's not exactly a new idea to have them being really good friends, but I feel like you've put a fresh spin on it. Al teasing Scorp about Rose is sweet and nicely handled. It's an almost brotherly relationship, which I think is what you were going for.

And then Scorp picking up on the tension with Harry was brilliantly written. I love how him and Teddy were the only ones to notice that there was a problem. It shows that Scorpius really has been included in the family, in the same way that Teddy was.

Basically Scorp and Al's relationship is all round fab. Really well done for that.

The other thing you've done really well in this chapter is the little details you've added to flesh out the story and your characters. The days Scorp spent with Rose sound lovely, and are fully in character with both of them as you've written them. I loved that the auror exams are SNAKES (of course they are. It's the wizarding world). I liked Ron rolling his eyes at Harry duelling his son.

Ahh, this chapter was just SO GOOD. And it was nice to return to Scorpius's POV.

I'm sure I'll be back for chapter 7 very soon :)

Much love,

Emma x

Author's Response: Hi Emma,

So glad you like Scorp and Al - they really are best mates, and a little bit brotherly as well because after Scorpius's parents died, he spent quite a bit of time at the Potters during the Holidays.

Haha - yeah, I kind liked the S.N.A.K.E.s too. It worked well for the story that they have a huge exam at the end. More on that later!

I really didn't want to rush the relationship between Rose and Scorp. To be more realistic (and avoid the on again, off again trap), I'm having them move slowly. Also, Rose is still keeping her secret from everyone and I don't think they can properly move forward until everything is out in the open between them.

Aaa - you're so kind to me! ♥

Beth


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Review #17, by slytherinchica08 Blown Away: Scorpius POV

14th September 2014:
Oh oh my goodness how on earth could you do this to me?
Here I was thinking that I was going to find out some pieces of
the puzzle to what's going on with Rose only to get more of a
mystery! But oh my gosh it was absolutely wonderful! I really
liked getting more of an idea of what has happened to
Scorpius to make him the way that you have him portrayed!
And not only that but this chapter also added more depth to his
character and really makes me feel for him.

This chapter did a great job of adding more interest to the
story as well making it so that the readers continue to have
more questions as we read on but yet we still get some
answers to make us happy. The pacing and flow seem to work
really well so far for this story so kudos for that! And the
description is wonderful and really does a great job of painting
the overall picture you want your readers to see!

I also liked the muggle that you added to this chapter. You
could definitely tell that he was annoying and as I read the bit
about him I found myself crinkling my nose at his character
and happy when Scorpius left him behind. But at the same
time the mention that no one else likes him and Scorpius
saying he would call him the next day perked him up made me
feel very sad for him.

The ending was the perfect touch. It kept my interest and
makes me want to read more to find out what's going on and
who killed the Malfoys! You can definitely expect me to come
back sometime soon to read more ! Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Erica,

This review is so amazing - I'm still smiling from it! I'm so glad you find the pacing appropriate. Instead of a Scorpius/Rose story where they continually can't get on the same page (I'm not against those stories, I just wanted something different), I wrote a story where they both *need* each other to heal and move on.

Yeah Mason was really annoying. I feel like every neighborhood has *that* kid in it - the one that most people avoid unless they have no choice - haha!

I can't wait for you to read more - thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #18, by CambAngst Bombs and Bonds: Scorpius and Rose POV

14th September 2014:
Hi Beth! So exciting to be back for your new chapter!

I think it was brilliant to continue the mother-daughter conversation between Hermione and Rose. There's so much common ground between their experiences and it's definitely helping both of them.

Before we get to that, though, there's the scene with the Aurors. You did a great job of creating powerful tension and making it all very gripping and personal from Scorpius's point of view. If I was him, I'd have to wonder at some level whether I'm getting too close to this case to really be completely effective. His struggles and lapses of concentration weren't a good sign. Then again, Harry's demeanor tells me that Scorpius isn't the only one who's struggling. Ditto for Ron. The whole department is under tremendous strain here and I have a feeling as though something has to give.

Small thing, but I liked the fact that they're bringing in the Department of Mysteries to try to determine how Stannous is doing what he's doing. I almost never see the DoM used in this way in stories and I think it's brilliant. The DoM is such an underutilized resource. Most writers act as though the entire department does nothing but research secret things and make discoveries that never see the light of day.

Albus's observation on Stannous was as unsettling as it is spot on. Whatever Stannous is playing at, it's obviously personal for him, too. He's possessive of Rose, in a way. I don't think he'd take a chance of anyone hurting Rose except him.

I thought your ideas on what post-war life was like for Hermione, Ron and Harry were amazing. I especially liked the reasoning behind them. Harry suffered from so much misinformation being used against him during his school years. I do think it would have been important to him to see the real truth take the place of all the made-up stories that the Prophet used to sell copy. But that clearly came at a cost. The parallels between Hermione's story and Rose's were subtle and brilliant.

Way to go, Scorpius! The way to Ron's heart is through his stomach. Unless you're Hermione, I guess. She doesn't seem to cook much. That's how you know it was meant to be. ;)

So back to my pet theory about who Stannous really is. So much of this story has been about parallels between Hermione's life and Rose's, and I'm getting more and more suspicious that the theme extends into the nature of Stannous's obsession. If the elder Lestranges failed to destroy Hermione, maybe the next generation is going after the next best thing? Trying to destroy the daughter as a way of extracting vengeance on the mother? Or maybe I'm still just reading too much in. Who knows? Beth does, that's who!

One typo I saw while reading:

We also know that he’s got several accomplices working with him, so he may choose to lay low and let his lackey’s do the dirty work. -- lackeys

Great chapter! Props to Kenpo for the suggestion, because I think it added a great deal. Til next time!

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Review #19, by Gabriella Hunter Broken: Rose POV

12th September 2014:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums and my goodness I am late! I am so sorry for that but I've been pretty busy lately and really had no time on my hands to get to my reviews! D':

This is your very first fanfic? I never would have gotten that vibe at all, this was really well-done! So, I'm very intrigued by Rose's issues that you've set up here, I don't think I've seen her written this way and her past is making him awfully curious. At first I thought that she might be pregnant, what with the throwing up and everything but after I continued reading, it was obvious that some sort of trauma was hanging over her head. I thought the part with the picture was especially interesting, she seemed to be lost in memories and I'm wondering who this person is that drugged her. Its giving me a bad feeling but this is so good that I of course want to read more!

What I really liked about this first chapter is that you don't shove the information down my throat. I feel like some others have to beat you over the head with the Next Gen characters and force them to be unique instead of just creating the character that they'd like to see. Rose here comes off to me as vulnerable, sweet and damaged and that's not something that I've seen very often. I also like that you wrote her cousins very smoothly, they fit into the story and with the backstory that you gave on each of them, it didn't feel forced at all. I really enjoyed the part about their Sorting--Albus in Ravenclaw doesn't happen very often and I thought it was especially hilarious about the Sorting Hat possibly being drunk. I think that you've set up something really nice here and for a first chapter, it struck all the right notes!

No CC's that I could spot either! Your flow was great and your pacing was just perfect. :D

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi Gabbie,

No worries about the time. I completely understand and I LOVE this review! Yes, this is my first fanfic and I'm really glad that it didn't come off that way. The chapter was really short and I just wanted to give the reader a taste of what is going on with Rose. I'm so glad that you're intrigued! Yay!

I did intentionally create a Rose character that was very different. I thought about it a lot and I don't think she would necessarily be a perfect combination of her parents. Instead, I think that she would feel a bit overshadowed by them. One of Rose's major flaws is that she really doesn't think she is as strong as her parents.

I don't want to give away too much about what is going on with Rose, but I'll be sure to re-request a review from your thread - you do such a fantastic job with them. You picked up on all the little details that I put in the chapter.

Thanks again Gabbie!

♥ Beth


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Review #20, by ValiantMD Beautiful: Scorpius POV

12th September 2014:
such beautiful love.

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thanks so much for this! It was such a treat to wake up and see this sweet review!

Thanks!

Beth


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Review #21, by mymischiefmanaged Besotted: Rose POV

7th September 2014:
Hi Beth! I've been really enjoying review swapping with this story. Every chapter just gets better and better.

Rose's thoughts about her scars are so upsetting. It's horrible that she lets them change her opinion of herself and thinks it would change other people's opinions of her too. She's obviously been through so much and it's so sad that it's still such a big part of her life (although I get the impression it might become a much bigger part in future chapters).

'Crucio flagrate' sounds horrific.

I'm intrigued by Stannuous. He sounds absolutely terrifying but I think there must be some kind of explanation for why he did what he did. Why would he leave Rose with healing equipment? I think maybe the other person in the cabin is part of the explanation.

And Scorp missing his Mum...I have no words :(

It's very telling that Scorp sees parallels between his parents and his relationship with Rose. It shows his vulnerability and insecurity, and you write all these feelings perfectly.

I like the insight we get into Al's character in this chapter too. His fury with Scorp for messing Rose around shows a very different side to him than the one we've seen so far, and I can tell I'm going to enjoy his character later as we see more of him.

Rose and Scorp have such a wonderful friendship. You manage to write them so they need each other but their relationship doesn't seem at all unhealthy, which is really refreshing. They're so clearly good for each other and can get through the horrible things because they have the other.

This is a wonderful wonderful chapter. I liked the return to Rose's POV and so far I'm loving your development of all your fabulous characters.

Much love,

Emma x

Author's Response: Hi Emma,

Review swapping is awesome - especially when I love your story so much AND you leave me such wonderful reviews!

The scars are awful. They are a physical reminder to Rose of her torture and, for right now, she just can't get past it.

Stannous's plans are far from over - you're right to think that there is more to that! Nice job picking up on the other person that is there!

Scorpius grew up very sheltered. It was a result of Draco's depression post-war. The Malfoys had been ostracized by the Pureblood community. The upshot was that he was very close to his Mum.

Thanks - the parallels between Rose and the other characters continue throughout the story.

Al is super protective of Rose. He always has been. And although Rose *thinks* she's kept her big secret from everyone else, they all know something's up.

I didn't want my Rose and Scorp to be the type of characters that are so in love with each other, but just can't get out of their own way to see through it. I like those stories, but I don't think I actually could write that way... so I just made them both really damaged (haha).

Thanks again, Emma. I look forward to all of your reviews!

Beth


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Review #22, by maryhead Broken: Rose POV

1st September 2014:
Hi! I'm Maryhead from the forum, ready to review your story!

Sweet Merlin, this was... intense. Quite different from the other NextGen fics I read... No, scratch that... COMPLETELY different from the other Next Gen fics I read!

I loved it. Utterly, absolutely loved it. The way you begun with those six actions, repeated constantly throughout the chapter, somehow reminded me of a Radiohead song, "Fitter, Happier". If you haven't listened to it, it is a sort of poem, "sung" by an electronic voice. It is automatic, numb, just as the the way Rose faces her daily routine. Or even. Have you ever seen the music video for the song "A Song to Say Goodbye"? It reminded me that one too. Rose here is like the man, who has clearly endured some kind of trauma, and is now a sort of motionless shell of despair. Of course, in the first lines you hint that your protagonist will change and manage to heal from the wounds of her past, but in this first chapter she herself is a sort of heartbreaking shell of despair.

I was actually moved by the way you depicted her internal struggle, with a sort of hushed, quiet monologue that touched deep, sensitive topics in an incredibly poetic way. Even though you didn't abound with descriptions, this chapter didn't need them to feel like a scene taken from a film. I could hear Rose murmur those words as the credits of the movie were replaced by a view of her apartment and her morning struggles... Amazing. Simply amazing.

I was so immersed in the reading of Rose's internal musing that I actually jumped a bit when Dom's voice "rang" in the flat. She was almost annoying, disturbing those melancholic meditation, completely unaware of the sufferings of her cousin. Or maybe she wasn't oblivious, but tried to help her by ignoring it... Anyway, it was like hearing a cell phone ringing in a Church, it made me want to jump in the story, grab Dom and scream "LEAVE HER ALOOONE"... Which is probably not good for my mental health, but incredibly good for your skills at involving the reader in the story! ;)

Truth be told, I didn't find a flaw in this chapter. Impeccable style, impeccable plot so far... I have many questions, the most important obviously "what happened to Rose?!", but I also have theories about them that just need to be confirmed by reading the next chapters!

Again, great job! I hope you'll re-request, just check my thread before doing so, because I am slightly changing my "not reading" section. :)

Have a nice September!

Maryhead

Author's Response: Hi Maryhead!

So sorry that I haven't responded to this until now. I'm usually much more prompt at my review responses - especially for requested reviews.

I checked out that Radiohead song that you mentioned and this is so crazy, but I used to babysit for a little boy who had cerebral palsy and he couldn't talk so he had a computer that he could spell everything and it would talk for him. It was the same voice as that song!!! Maybe I subconsciously picked a phrase that sounded robotic - like that voice.

Wow. I'm just reeling from this review. I can't really begin to thank you. I feel like you really *get* what I tried to convey with this chapter. I intentionally didn't put too much description into the scene because Rose can't really focus on that right now - she's too wrapped up in dealing with her own issues.

Dom isn't a lovey-dovey character. Although she has her suspicions about Rose's history, she chooses not to treat her any differently.

I'll definitely re-request. Thanks so much for this! ♥

Beth


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Review #23, by mymischiefmanaged Bereft: Scorpius POV

31st August 2014:
Oh my gosh a KITCHEN ACCIDENT? Is that true? That can't be true. My guess is that you're going to reveal what really happened later in the story. Maybe it's connected to Rose's kidnapping somehow?

If it really was a kitchen accident that's in some ways more awful as it could so easily have been avoided. Oo you really know how to make it sad...

Rose and Al's visit was wonderfully written, and Rose being able to get through to Scorpius is such a good parallel to his helping her through her panic attack - I can totally see how well they're going to work as a couple. I love that Rose ran away from home to help her friend.

I like what I've seen of Daphne and her husband. They seem like good people who care about Scorpius but don't know what they can do for him, which is touching but sad. He's been through enough, he really needs some proper family. I suppose that's what Rose and Al become for him.

And Ron! That's so awful of him to shout at a fifteen year old who's just lost his parents, but it's also wonderfully in character with the tactless Ron who shows up sometimes in J.K's books so I love it.

Harry's offering to take in Scorpius is adorable. He understands what it's like to lose your family and doesn't want anyone to feel the way he did. Scorpius so needed someone to do that for him and I love that it's Harry who did.

And then his coming back to the present with shouts for Fred brings us back to your wonderful comedy moments and is the perfect end to the chapter.

This is really wonderful Beth. I'm enjoying this story more and more with each chapter :)

Much love,

Emma x

Author's Response: Hi Emma,

Gah! This review is just the BEST. I'm so glad to see you caught up in the story - that is just the BEST thing to hear as an author.

I love your intuition about the kitchen accident. It does seem a bit off, doesn't it? I'm not gonna say anymore right now, but I'm glad I've got you thinking...

Also so excited that you caught on to the connection that Rose and Scorpius have. It is deeper than either of them realize.

I had a blast writing the scene where Ron and Harry show up at Aunt Daphne's house. I wanted Scorpius to feel completely alone, but I didn't want to make his relatives exactly like Harry's had been. Ron is... Ron. In my view - he is still awkward around girls - ESPECIALLY his teenage daughter. I partially based him on my own father, who grew up with no sisters and had ABSOLUTELY no idea what to do with me as a teenager.

Thanks so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #24, by mymischiefmanaged Blown Away: Scorpius POV

31st August 2014:
Back for your next chapter :)

Sorry about the delay, I've been looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Ohmygosh this is my favourite chapter of yours so far. It just...wow, it does such a good job of further characterisation/back story/general plot development and I love it.

You gave me so many different feels with this chapter. Your characterisation of Mason is perfect. It made me laugh and was utterly believable as the boy who's so excited to be Scorpius's friend. And then poor Scorpius finding his parents after that argument! I just...that's so awful for him and you wrote his response so devastatingly well.

This is a really wonderful chapter. If you ever come back to it I would like to see a bit more about Rose at the beginning though? Or maybe between flashbacks? It would be nice to have the flashbacks grounded a little more in the present. But as usual, this is just a minor suggestion and your story in no way needs it, it's already wonderful.

Absolutely loved this and am going to move straight onto chapter four to find out what happened to the Malfoys!

Much love,

Emma x

Author's Response: Hi Emma!

Sorry that I took so long to get to this. I was so excited to see that you had to read ahead!! This chapter and the next was originally one really long chapter and I split it in two. I really wanted the chapter to be completely about Scorpius, so you're right - there isn't a lot of Rose in it. She is in the next chapter - in the second half of the flash back. The chapter after that goes back to Rose' POV and I don't think you'll be disappointed. My intent is to establish that BOTH Rose and Scorpius are in a place where they feel isolated and hurt. They need each other.

Thanks again Emma!

♥ Beth


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Review #25, by slytherinchica08 Bent: Rose POV

28th August 2014:
See I told you I would be back! Poor Rose! She must just have some absolute rotten luck to have that happen to her but I do think that you did a wonderful job with how she handled everything given that she had a somewhat familiar experience happen (though we don't know exactly what happened during this previous experience). Plus you also add more mysterious elements to the story such as why this man was able to get away after having the body bind curse put on him. I also liked that premise that if a person has the body bind curse on them that they are not able to apparate away.

Characterization was wonderful in this chapter as well, though I always find it interesting that people portray one of Percy's children as being a bit odd so to speak. But really you have each person a little different but still share some similarities with each other as well. In particular I really like the relationship you are portraying between Scorp and Rose and I really look forward to seeing where it will go between them.

The only thing in this chapter that I would question, would be Rose being ok with taking off her shirt in front of Scorpius. Granted he wasn't looking at her but with the way that I feel her previous encounter went that has caused the panic attacks, I'm just not sure if she would have been comfortable in that situation to do so. Especially since her panic was raised once more from this random guy who was grabbing at her. I just think that it would have reverted her a bit and make it harder to want to disrobe around anyone (even family). So I would have liked to see maybe a bit more panic at that part with Scorpius being there and her family barging in. Or maybe even just add in a little bit about her worry about disrobing in front of Scorpius to make that panic stand out a bit more. But then again, I also don't know fully what has happened, only what I am interpreting from the small little bits we have been give.

Either way, this was another fantastic chapter and I absolutely loved it! I really look forward to reading more and seeing where you are going to take this story. Great Job!

~Slytherinchica08~

Author's Response: Oh my gosh! Two reviews - thank you so much. This chapter definitely deepens the mystery a bit. He also shouldn't have been able to apparate because the flat had several wards and protective charms on it. Weird, huh?

Haha - yeah I guess you're right about Molly. She is very conservative, just like Percy. It made for a bit of humor in this otherwise dramatic chapter.

I think you may be right about Rose's discomfort, but there is a history between her and Scorpius - a lot is explained in the next two chapters. But, since I'm going through revisions, I might just put a sentence in about her apprehension.

Thanks again!

Beth


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