32 Reviews Found

Review #1, by 800 words of heaven Broken: Rose POV

22nd April 2014:
REVIEW TAG!

Ooh! Chapter one and a mystery already! Considering all the clues we've had so far, it makes sense to introduce it in the first chapter, since it is such a big part of Rose's life. Right now, it's her defining characteristic, except that she obviously have a great deal of love for her friends and family.

I really liked the way you wrote about her panic attack. I hope that we get to see her dealing with her anxiety in an "ordinary" way as well. From experience, it can sneak up on you at the most inconvenient of times, but it's not always so bad. You can be fighting the battle on the inside whilst still maintaining a happy front to the rest of the world - which Rose has already mentioned, I believe.

And from the chapter titles, I assume that we're going to be getting different points of view! Woohoo! Nice start!

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Review #2, by ScoroseOTP Bitter: Scorpius POV

19th April 2014:
Hey!
Loved this so much (still), the duel between Al and Harry was spectuacluar!
Al and his anger towards Harry for pushing him so hard was understandable and then Harry's reasoning of why made my heart melt a little! Well cute!
Scorpius' ability to break them up and sense when it was time to give up was great and I thought really quite brave to get in the middle of that father-son duo!
Also loved how with a smirk Al did that to Scorpius, such a good way to carry onto the next chapter!
Back to the beginning of the chapter though, I love the reason behind the duel taking place! The fact Al was trying to get a rise out if him, making him confess to everyone, including her, how he feels! That's great and shows true and real friendships right there!
ANOTHER amazing chapter!
ScoroseOTP
Emz xxx

Author's Response: Hi Emz,

You are the best! Thank you so much for all of your reviews. I wanted to give Al a chance to have a chapter and I always thought that he would be torn between wanting to be just like his dad, but having to live in his shadow at the same time.

Scorp and Al - those two are the best of friends and they need to push each other from time to time, huh?

I also felt like Harry would be crazy proud of Al because he loves his kids so much, but wouldn't want anyone to think that he was playing favorites. Thanks so much for noticing all of that.

Next chapter is in the queue!

Beth


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Review #3, by ScoroseOTP Besotted: Rose POV

16th April 2014:
Hey Beth!
Rose! I just want to give her a hug!
The poor girl.
It's unnerving me that something's different though. I can't quite shake that, I mean, she seems fine. She even looks at herself, her scars (which make me want to go sit in a dark corner for a while- makes me feel really bad. And the fact she had to fix herself? Don't get me started)
AND SCORPIUS!
If I wasn't stopping myself, I may have let out a small whimper when he said "Mum"
It quite simply crushed me! Not good.
But also the impact that had on Rose, that made me feel even worse!
But as he continued to speak and talk about his Mum I wanted to put some duck tape over his mouth and just hug him until he was sober and knew what he was saying. (Because, that broke my heart a little more when he was speaking so badly about his Dad... I get that it's part of the story and it's Scorpius view because he was a Mummy's boy. But I will always have a soft spot for Draco Malfoy and it pains me slightly that he was so horrible, or at least appears to be in Scorpius memory)
Then you have him spill everything!
That made me feel a lot better, he hasn't been with anyone else!
He cares about Rose deeply and she feels the same about him!
Yay!
Very pleased with the end result of this chapter!
A great chapter!
ScoroseOTP
Emz xxx

Author's Response: Hi Emz,

Your reviews put a smile on my face every single time! You always seem to get what I'm trying to say and that makes me feel so good about my writing - so thanks! You are spot on about Draco - he really wasn't all that bad, but to a fifteen year old Scorpius, it certainly seemed that way.

I'm glad you liked the end of the chapter. It's about time they get together don't you think? Those two just need each other!

Beth


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Review #4, by ScoroseOTP Bereft: Scorpius POV

15th April 2014:
Hey Beth!
So this chapters still very cute.
I still feel immense sympathy for old Scorpo (I just want to give him a hug)
It also breaks my heart that we a strong, in control Rose who is nothin but there for him. It makes me sad that she isn't like that in the current time.
I love how you present Harry and Ginny for being so understanding, as well as Daphene and Phill.
But I do love how angry Ron was... Doesn't surprise me at all!
Great Chapter!
ScoroseOTP
Emz xxx

Author's Response: Hi Emz!

Thanks again for another great review. I'm much happier at having Scorpius's dream as two separate chapters, it also sets the tone for some stuff that will happen later on. I know it is sad about Rose - but we can have hope that she will once again, be the strong person (no hints)!

I'm so excited that you notice every detail about the characters. I knew Harry and Ginny would be understanding because Harry grew up without his parents and he isn't the type of person to condemn Scorpius because of Draco's actions. On the other hand, Ron is different. In my mind - he will never forgive Draco. Also, he still doesn't know how to deal with girls - especially his own teenage daugher. I had a lot of fun writing his rant!

Again, thanks for the review!

Beth


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Review #5, by Marchessamar Bitter: Scorpius POV

13th April 2014:
Wo!!! I absolutely LOVE this story! You're doing fantastic and I loved the idea for the S.N.A.K.Es. Also I'm dying to know more on what happened with Rose- but I guess you're saving that? Keep it up! :)

Author's Response: Hi Marchessamar,

Thank you so much for the review. It really helps me to know that people like the story. Sometimes it is hard to know if I am keeping people interested and I really appreciate it when you tell me what you think - good or bad. More about Rose it coming VERY soon.

Thanks again - and sorry it took me so long to get back to you!
Beth (Veritaserum27)


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Review #6, by ScoroseOTP Blown Away: Scorpius POV

12th April 2014:
Hey Beth!
First off, of course I'd be coming back and reading this, I got so caught up in the story last time! I was defiantly going to!
I just want to give him a hug!
I mean that would be horrifying!
No one should go through that. Ever. But alas it still happens. A sad truth.
Being 15 doesn't mean he had any lighter either, although at least he knew what he was doing.
He argued with them as well, which just makes me more sad and feel so much pathos for him, so much sympathy and sadness.
Loved the chapter though!
You're so amazing at writing, it's quite unbelievable!
ScoroseOTP
Emz xxx

Author's Response: Hi Emz,

I am so sorry that I haven't responded to all your wonderful reviews. I got caught up in some of the exciting events happening on the forums - and I've been on vacation, so I was really busy for the past week or so. But I really want you to know how much I appreciate every single review that you leave for me. It really lets me know how much people enjoy my story.

I think it is important to understand how broken Scorpius is so that you know how much he needs Rose just like she needs him.

Thanks again - you're the best.

Beth


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Review #7, by luciusobsessed Bitter: Scorpius POV

11th April 2014:
Another great chapter!

I love the tension you created between Al and Harry. It was exhilarating watching both of their tempers escalate.

Al is hilarious. I love how he puts Scorp on the spot, especially the last thing he said in the chapter before running out. That's something I would do to my friends and something they'd to do me as well.

Please update soon, I want to know what happens. Can't wait!!

luciusobsessed

Author's Response: Hi luciusobsessed!

Thanks again - you are so awesome! Al is one of my favorite characters! In my version, he is a brilliant wizard, but has the Weasley temper at the same time! He also is very loyal to Scorp but more to Rose (that comes into play later on). I'm so glad it was believable - I might do the same thing to my friends as well!

I will try to update as fast as possible. I have the next several chapters written, but I need to edit them .

I just want to say thank you again for every review. They mean so much to me!

Thank you. Thank you! THANK YOU!

Beth


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Review #8, by luciusobsessed Besotted: Rose POV

11th April 2014:
Aww I love this. I love how you start the story out not really telling us the relationship between Scorpius and Rose, and then slowly build on it through the chapters. Poor Rose, I can't imagine what that guy did to her, and I really want to know why. I can't wait till Scorpius finds out the truth. Next chap! :))

Author's Response: Hi!

I can't tell you how much I love each and every one of your reviews. It is so helpful to know what you think of each chapter. Thanks for noticing the slow build in their relationship. I partly wanted to show how important their relationship is and partly wanted to focus on the reason Rose has been so numb for the past couple of years.

Thanks again!

Beth


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Review #9, by ScoroseOTP Bent: Rose POV

11th April 2014:
Reading this again, my heart still aches just as much as it had the first time.
I feel so much sympathy for her, and am so so happy she has such amazing friends to look after her!
I love Scorose so much and am so glad that Scorpius is there for her, no matter what.
I also love how skilled they are and how quick they are to protect Rose. Their ability to suddenly appear is really reassuring.
I feel horrible about the fact that that guy got in and managed to escape so quickly. Not happy at all about that.
Great chapter again!
ScoroseOTP
Emz xxx

Author's Response: Hello again,

Wow. Not one but two reviews! Thank you so much. Aww, Rose's family is so protective of her. Scorp is too. He doesn't quite know how to tell her his feelings just yet.

Yeah, about that creepy guy - he will come back later. Not a good dude at all.

Thank you again for taking the time to review - I love them all!!

Beth


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Review #10, by ScoroseOTP Broken: Rose POV

11th April 2014:
I've gone back to the beginning considering you are sorting the story out and changing it.
I see you haven't changed this and I'm glad, the basics is great!
Currently about to go to the next chapter...
ScoroseOTP
Emz xxx

Author's Response: Hi Emz!

I was so excited to see you write a review - I think I even let out a squeal! Thank you for rereading the story and I appreciate your feedback (I was actually worried about what you would think, since you've been such a strong supporter, so I'm breathing a sigh of relief right now).

Thank you, thank you!

Beth


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Review #11, by luciusobsessed Bereft: Scorpius POV

11th April 2014:
These chapters get better and better, oh and before I forget, I meant to say that in the chapter before this I laughed super hard at the part that said "and to top it all off, Albusís Grandad Weasley would come over all the time to ask Harry about some muggle artifact or other." I was dying.

Anyway, this chapter was a fun read. LMFAO at Ron trying to fight Scorp. I could literally picture it in my head. I think I'm enjoying Scorp's point of view a lot. I don't want to transition out of it.

I love Rose's sympathy. You can tell from Scorp's flashbacks that she used to be a lot different and that her kidnapping experience really changed her. I'm excited to learn more about it.

Next chap :))

luciusobsessed

Author's Response: Hi again!

It was so much fun to write Ron! I imagined he was just as clueless when it comes to his daughter as he was with Hermione in the series. Thanks for the compliment.

I was actually really worried about writing from Scorpius's POV, because I'm not exactly a 20 year old male wizard who lost his parents! - so thanks for telling me how much you enjoyed it.

Thank you for noticing the change in Rose! I really wanted that to come through, and I hope in the coming chapters that the part of her with the kind heart and passion for her friends can return.

Thank you again for the kind review!

Beth


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Review #12, by luciusobsessed Blown Away: Scorpius POV

11th April 2014:
Wow this keeps getting better and better!

Poor Scorp, I did not expect that kind of trauma in his past. So so sad, but an amazing twist to the story. I feel like a lot of people only make the girl damaged to give that hero saves the helpless girl vibe off. I really like what you've done here by making them both equally vulnerable so that their gender roles aren't stereotypical.

Love this, can't wait to read on :))

luciusobsessed

Author's Response: Hi luciusobsessed,

Thank you so much. I am so excited to see how much you are enjoying the story. I really appreciate each and every review. I also appreciate all your feedback. I worked pretty hard writing the story and it is so nice to know how it is being received.

Thank you!

Beth



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Review #13, by luciusobsessed Bent: Rose POV

10th April 2014:
Okay so I'm in uni right now and I'm waiting for lecture to start and it's starting so I'll be quick. THIS WAS AMAZING! I'm carrying my laptop around with your fanfiction so I can read whenever chance I get. I love Scrop's character. I want to know more about him so I can't wait till the next chap! Also, the guy who was all over Rose sounds fishy to me. I'm guessing I'll find out! Anyway, off to the next chapter! So excited!

luciusobsessed

Author's Response: Luciusobsessed,

Wow. Your review was so completely awesome that it is the highlight of my week! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I can't tell you how excited I am that you are loving my story! I have a LOT planned, and I really appreciate you letting me know what you like about it!

Thanks again!

Beth


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Review #14, by paddlewaddle Bitter: Scorpius POV

9th April 2014:
The revisions are interesting. Rose isn't just emotionally scarred by the event but also physically - her self-esteem would have taken a big hit, as would her physical relationship/interactions with Scorpius in the time since her kidnapping and I feel for her.

Before the revisions you alluded to that fact that she may have been sexually assaulted. I'm not sure if that is still the case because it appears that he only physically and emotionally/mentally assaulted her with the Crucio curse. I'm curious to see where you go from here because I would imagine this changes the physical/sexual aspect of their relationship slightly because physical scars always remind you of the emotional scars and emotional scars are always the hardest to bear, even if you've accepted and recovered from the physical ones.

Moving on, I'm quite excited for what you have planned for the upcoming few chapters and especially the overarching storyline with Stannous , why he picked Rose to torture, and what his motives are behind everything he is doing! Hope you update soon :D

Author's Response: Hi paddlewaddle!

Thank you for another wonderful and insightful review. The nature of Stannous's attack on Rose is the main plot point that I have changed, for the reasons that you mentioned and because it just didn't sit right with me . I feel that I can make Rose and Scorpius come together on another level of understanding (I hope).

I am always a little unsure of my writing, but reviewers like you make it all worth while. I'm so glad I've got you wondering what happens next and why Rose is being targeted - because, believe me - it's a biggie!

Thanks so much!

Beth


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Review #15, by Saharabreeze Besotted: Rose POV

8th April 2014:
Freaking fantastic

Author's Response: Hi Saharabreeze,

Thanks! I'm glad you like the story so far!

Beth


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Review #16, by LightLeviosa5443 Bent: Rose POV

8th April 2014:
Hi!

Wow, this chapter was so sweet! I am such a sucker for ScoRose, and I almost can't handle this cuteness. I really loved the way that he jumped to her defense, and how all of the cousins got involved. I actually started laughing when it got to the point of Albus coming into the room and the people sitting in the coffee shop I'm at gave me some weird looks. I know I should probably be productive, but I'm going to keep reading what you have so far.

This story is really fun and intriguing and I'm really really enjoying it so far. I love the way you've built up the characters and made Scorpius and Rose attracted to each other and set the stage for her nerves and such.

Wonderful wonderful job! Thanks for review swapping with me!

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Hi Sarah,

Thank you (again and again) for writing such great reviews. You always make me feel a little more confident with my writing.

ScoRose is my OTP as well. I just can't help it. That is actually why I started writing in the first place. I just wanted to tell my own version of their story.

I'm so glad I made you laugh. Sometimes I wonder if my attempt at humor is hitting the mark.

Thanks again!

Beth


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Review #17, by luciusobsessed Broken: Rose POV

8th April 2014:
Hey there, it's luciusobsessed. I'm so so so terribly sorry it's taken me forever for this review, but I have to admit I am very very impressed. This is amazing!!

Your style of writing is captivating and I absolutely love the hook you started with. I love damaged characters who put on a brave face and that's what Rose seems to be.

I love the twist of having them all in Ravenclaw. It's nice to see something different. I think my favorite part was when James insinuated that the Sorting Hat was drunk. That was hilarious and I literally laughed out loud.

I'm nervous about where Scorpius stands in this since he's the only one she hasn't really talked about yet. I also really like that she's in "college" let's say. You're so creative and I'm excited to read on and see where this story goes!

luciusobsessed

Author's Response: Hi luciusobsessed,

Thanks! Wow! What a great review. No worries about the time - I'm just relieved that you liked it.

As far as Scorpius is concerned, the story switches POV's between Rose and him. So, starting in the third chapter, it is told form his point of view. And if you like damaged characters, I don't think you'll be disappointed!!

Thanks again, and, if you don't mind, I will probably re-request from you.

Beth


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Review #18, by paddlewaddle Bereft: Scorpius POV

6th April 2014:
I remember you said that you weren't too happy with Scorpius' POV (before the revision of the story) but I want you to know that its actually one of my favourite chapters. The backstory makes Scorpius a vulnerable character with a past that greatly shaped how he grew up and why his friends are so important to him. Its give us a reason to understand why Scorpius is the way he is when he is with Rose and further explains why he felt so helpless that he couldn't do more about Rose's attack and her recovery - That he can't be the rock for the girl that became his when his parents died and how this probably kills him inside. It gives their relationship so much more weight because they are each others rock and this support of the other is an invaluable source of love for their relationship. As you can tell, I'm really loving what you are doing with the story so I hope you update with the next chapter soon :)

Author's Response: Hi Paddlewaddle,

Sorry I haven't gotten back to this review sooner, but I wanted to give you a BIG thanks for it. I feel like you really 'get' my story!

As far as Scorpius's POV, I think my two concerns are that he doesn't come off with typical Malfoy traits and that I am a little nervous to write from the POV of a 20 year old guy.

I'm so glad that you picked up on the fact that they need each other so much - that is the main drive of their relationship.

Anyway, thank you so much for the great reviews. I am trying to update quickly!

~Beth


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Review #19, by paddlewaddle Blown Away: Scorpius POV

26th March 2014:
oh no! All the chapters are gone! I didn't realise you'd taken them down with the intention to rewrite key points until I looked back just to reread the story (so far). I really liked this story and the vulnerability that Rose displays as a victim of such a vicious crime, but also a victim of her family's bravery and legacy which pushes her to hide herself from the real world. Hoping that the new chapters don't push the scorose develop back cause I saw them coming together as a significant part of Rose's recovery (before the reappearance of perpetrator of crime) but at the same time, this is your story and you've done a fantastic job so far. Eagerly waiting for the new chapter! :D

Author's Response: Hello paddlewaddle,

First off, thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm so glad you liked the story so far. My intent at taking down the chapters was not to change the development of Rose and Scorius's love story (I don't think I could ever change that - it is so embedded within me), but rather to add more to the mystery part of the story.

I was never happy with the super long chapter that contained Scorpius's flashback, so I just pulled all the chapters down up until that one, which will be split in two. After that, the story will basically be the same, but I wanted to change a few things and I couldn't do it one chapter at a time.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your feedback! My intent is to post as often as I can because most of the story is already written.

Thanks again!

Veritaserum27


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Review #20, by LightLeviosa5443 Broken: Rose POV

11th March 2014:
Hi! I'm so so so sorry it took me so long to get to you with this requested review, but I hope the review itself makes up for the extremely un-excusable wait.

I can understand feeling like you had to write the story, and being nervous, but you shouldn't be nervous. This was wonderful. Welcome to HPFF, by the way!

So, as far as Characterization, I really enjoyed the people you've introduced so far. While you haven't really mentioned much about Selenia, I'm really intrigued by what I've read of her, and how she's so close to Rose, I can't wait to get to know more about her. I think you did a beautiful job writing Dominique, she's very believable, and the way you described her, in a sort of looks versus personality was great and different and really original. Rose was great so far. I'm in love with the voice you've given her. It's such a strong way to start off the story, and makes me really feel for her. It's a unique voice and Rose that I don't think I've ever seen in a fanfiction before, so good job on being original!

My only suggestion for improvement on this chapter would to be careful of extra spaces, because while in the beginning it was wonderful for emphasis, it didn't feel completely necessary towards the end and made it a little choppy.

That aside, your story flowed from point A to point B flawlessly. I mean you did a really good job of making it go smoothly and the entire thing just captivated me in it's entirety. I just wanted to keep reading and it didn't feel rushed and it all just sort of fell into place. I also really loved the way you connected those steps for her to get through the day, by highlighting each one and having her internal struggle be under it. Brilliant touch!

Now for the things that I really really liked!
-The raw feeling in the start of the chapter. It was very honest and believable and made me want to see where this story would go. It also kind of made me have a mini panic attack for Rose.

-The way that you kept us in the dark, for about half of the chapter, about what Rose was talking about, and what was kind of going on, where she was, how old she was, and even who she was (if you didn't read the story summary). It was a good touch.

-I thought it was really interesting of you to put all of them in Ravenclaw. I can't wait for the ScoRose to come in, because I've never read a Ravenclaw Scorpius, so i'm interested in seeing those traits identify themselves with his Malfoy self. And having McGonagall fall out of her seat was really funny.

-The comment you made about Rose and Selenia's friendship being sealed for life was so cute and adorable. I let out a little squee when I read it.

I think you did a really wonderful job, and at the end of this chapter I was thinking all of the right things. I wanted to know more about Rose, I wanted to know how Scorpius fits in, and what this kidnapping is that made Rose act this way, and even just her friends and family. I'm really kind of in love with this story.

Again, I'm so sorry it took me so long to reply, and I hope you re-request!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Hi Sarah,

Wow. Holy... wow. I just... thank you. I was so excited when I saw your review that *I* let out a squee! I am still very nervous about this story because of some of the content, but thank you for putting my mind at ease.

As far as Rose goes, I love the stories that have Rose as the "tough as nails" Gryffindor who is super sarcastic like Ron and just plain fearless. But I thought it would be interested to write her as a black sheep - in a family of fearless warriors. I also wanted Al to be her best bud, so he was in Ravenclaw too. And I thought it would be more angsty to have a Ravenclaw Scorpius instead of the typical Slytherin.

Thank you for mentioning the spacing - I am going to fix that. I chuckled because I wasn't actually doing it for effect... I am having difficulty with posting my chapters and the site automatically adds extra spaces between the paragraphs some, but not all of the time. I am trying to figure it all out.

Again, thank you so much for the fantastic review! I will definitely re-request!

~Veritaserum27


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Review #21, by oldershouldknowbetter Bent: Rose POV

23rd February 2014:
Ow, poor Rose, I can see you intend to put her through the emotional wringer.

I like her version of her relationship with Scorpius - old mates, supremely comfortable with each other, able to say almost anything without repercussion.

... almost anything.

Poor Rose cannot share her fears and is oblivious to how Scorpius feels - 'He was often angry', oh Rose you have no idea do you.

Good stuff, looking forward to how this pans out.

Author's Response: Hi again! (Sorry for the late response)

Rose is a bit clueless when it comes to Scorpius, isn't she? For being the brightest witch in her age...

Thank you again for taking the time to review! I really appreciate it!

~Veritaserum27


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Review #22, by oldershouldknowbetter Broken: Rose POV

23rd February 2014:
This is a good start.

I've seen a few one-shots with the three being sorted into Ravenclaw, it's good to see a whole story set in that reality after their school time.

Adding the extra drama element of the P.T.S.D. should make things interesting.

I must read on.

Author's Response: Thank you for the fantastic review and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. I have a lot planned for it.

~Veritaserum27


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Review #23, by BlueElephant Broken: Rose POV

18th February 2014:
I seriously love this already, i really like your writing style and how you've given us enough information to figure out where this is going, but still left a lot unsaid. Really looking forward to seeing where this is going to go!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I hope that you enjoy the rest of the story.

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Review #24, by Chiete Blown Away: Scorpius POV

12th February 2014:
I enjoyed the line "The M&M team! Malfoy and Mason!" - it reminded me of a favorite line from Super Troopers - "team Ram Rod!" Your Mason character is like the comedic relief in so many stories.
I feel you are developing your characters well, and given Scorpius a deeper character now with the death of his parents. I predict this will come back time and time in future chapters, but I think it will be an equalizing experience for his relationship with Rose. As those two characters grow, I think you will have their pasts both intertwine at times, push them apart at times, and become focal points between them. I look forward to your future chapters with these developing characters and their relationships.

Author's Response: Chiete!

I LOVE your reviews! They are so insightful and witty at the same time! Thank you for taking the time to write what you think.

~Veritaserum


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Review #25, by Dangos Blown Away: Scorpius POV

11th November 2013:
Hi! This was so good, really sad, but, Scorpius came across so well. I really liked the interactions between Rose and her dad. Fantastic chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hello again!

Thank you so much for another great review! I appreciate all your feedback. Ron is really fun to write - he just can't hide his emotions - and is still clueless when it comes to girls, so that adds up to some great humor. Thank you, thank you, thank you! :-)


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