376 Reviews Found

Review #1, by dracodarlingxx Blackout: Rose and Scorpius POV

18th April 2015:
Scorpius is such an idiot. I get where he's coming from, and yeah I can empathise, but he's still an idiot!
I'm hoping the answer to this question is no because it's just so gruesome, but . . . . . are the two murder victims in Rose's case Scor's parents? The blond hair and grey eyes?
I really REALLY hope Rose is okay and that the baby is okay too!

Please update soon!! I can't wait!! x

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Review #2, by MargaretLane Blackout: Rose and Scorpius POV

18th April 2015:
Oh, the summary for this sounds ominous. Hope Rose will be OK.

Aw, poor Rose, but it's hardly surprising she's so unhappy. She's dealing with so much. She's actually an amazingly strong person. I think most people would struggle to deal just with the idea that a guy who tortured them is not only still out there, but is still looking for a chance to hurt her again. And she's not only dealing with that, but also with Scorpius's issues and with an unplanned pregnancy, which, while it's very welcome, could have waited for a more convenient time. Considering everything, she's dealing really well, but it would be amazing if there wasn't some reaction.

I hope Scorpius cops himself on soon. I totally understand his immediate reaction, but not speaking to her for days or weeks on end isn't on. A few hours to get over the initial shock, yeah, but after that, he should deal with things like an adult. Of course, he's going to be upset, but avoiding Rose won't help him or her.

LOVE the reference to a vaccine for Dragon Pox. I always like these little details that show the world as a dynamic one. They add a degree of realism to a story. And I LOVE Charlie's involvement. I would never have expected him to discover something like that, but since he's in close contact with dragons, it's not exactly surprising.

I'd like that puzzle solving too. But then again, I would HATE to be a doctor.

That is a really interesting exam, but also a really tough one. If QUALIFIED Healers made mistakes, it's tough to expect trainees to do any better. But it would definitely be more fun than just writing what you've memorised. And it's a better test, as it shows they can apply their knowledge.

That sounds like a REALLY good idea, that she take a year off. Her maternity leave would probably be most of that anyway, if she were working. Not sure how long maternity leave is in the UK, but it's six months here, and I'm pretty sure that's considered rather short by the standards of most of Europe. Of course, it might be different in the wizarding world. And it would be better to take a break if she's not sure what she wants. It's an important decision.

Oh wow, I assumed you'd just included this as an interesting description of an assignment and to give us some insight into what her course is like, but if they were murdered, perhaps it has something to do with Stannous.

I've a feeling Rose has noticed SOME connection with her own experiences. OH! An idea has occurred to me. I was about to say I can't think what it could be, but while typing the first sentence of this paragraph, the way she was tortured occurred to me. The woman in this case has been tortured too. Maybe she's noticed some indication the same spell was used.

Oh gosh, I hope the baby is OK. I'm expecting it will be. I think this is probably a way to make Scorpius realise how much the baby, and Rose, mean to him. But you never know and this story has surprised me before. I really, really hope the baby'll be OK.

Three weeks is far too long for Scorpius to be behaving as he is. Not too long for him to be processing it, of course; that could take years. But too long for him to be treating Rose so terribly on the grounds that he's upset. None of this is her fault. It's just becoming selfish at this point.

To be honest, I sort of want to yell some sense into him. He's talking about how what he wanted was snatched from him, but the only thing that's stopping him from having it is himself. I'm sure it doesn't feel that way to him, but it's true.

He needs somebody to yell at him like Harry did at Remus. The situations are rather similar.

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Review #3, by Nina Betrothed: Rose POV

2nd April 2015:
This may be much to ask, but I will prefer if you update more frequently,\(^o^)/★

Author's Response: Haha - I'll try! The next chapter should be up soon. Thanks for leaving a review!

♥ Beth


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Review #4, by TreacleTart Broken: Rose POV

29th March 2015:
Hello there!

I'm here for our review swap!

Wow! What a first chapter! I feel really invested and drawn into this character that I barely know yet. The voice you've given her is superb. She sounds very authentic to a young woman.

Based on the memories of when she was attacked, I'm going to assume she was raped. The after affects and how she is dealing with them seem pretty spot on to me. The just wanting to move on, but having panic attacks from internalizing everything is heartbreaking. I hope at some point she is able to get some help coping with everything.

The repetition of "Get up. Wash. Get Dressed. Class. Rounds. Study" was very effective. I could see her repeating that mantra to herself to get her through the day.

And finally, I really respect that you're dealing with a tough topic here. A lot of people kind of beat around the bush when dealing with subjects like sexual assault because it can be so tough to deal with, so kudos for this.

I'm definitely adding this onto my currently reading list, so I can see where it goes from here!

Thanks for the swap!

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi there Kaitlin!

So sorry I'm just getting around to responding to this. I can't tell you how excited I am from your review! You picked up on all the little details I put in to this first chapter.

Just to clarify - and I know it isn't obvious from how I wrote this first chapter, but Rose wasn't sexually assaulted. The next few chapters reveal more about her story (so I guess I wasn't brave enough to tackle that topic - so sorry to disappoint).

But I don't want you to think that I didn't completely appreciate this review! We should do more swaps!

♥ Beth


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Review #5, by Anie Betrothed: Rose POV

28th March 2015:
I got worried that you had abandoned this story.
I was so relieve to see that you updated! And what an update it was.
Poor Scorpius. Poor Rose!
I understand his anguish. He could justify raising a child that was evil because of the father being evil. But when he found out it was actually himself that fathered the child...oh boy (or girl...hehe)! Keep up the great work! I hope everything is OK and that the break wasn't because of anything bad.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Oh my goodness - apologies are in order - I've waited far too long to reply to you! No worries though - I've every intention of finishing this story! It's outlined to the end, but I've got the next ten chapters typed up and ready for editing :). The reason for the lag was that my life sorta got really busy. I also felt like I was rushing to post chapters at the expense of proper editing.

Thank you so much for your concern - I hope all is well with you!

♥ Beth


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Review #6, by RupertsPheonix Betrothed: Rose POV

28th March 2015:
Baby Malfoy - how sweet. :) I enjoyed Scorpius' reaction and over-enthusiastic questions at the first appiontment at St. Mungo's!

YES! I knew that Scorpius could be the father in the prophecy! I feel like a Seer myself!

Poor Scorpius... He's taking this really hard. He's not evil though, just his family tree. Hopefully Rose and Al and the gang can help him understand that.

Cliffhanger at the end there. Whoa. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

--Kate/rp

Author's Response: Hi again Kate!

Great job with the predictions! Scorpius didn't see it coming, but the rest of us did! It might take Scorpius a bit to sort it all out - he's really taking this hard.

You shouldn't have to wait long for the next chapter - it's with the beta now!

Thank you so, so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #7, by RupertsPheonix Bound by Blood: Rose and Scorpius POV

27th March 2015:
The Rose and Hermione heart-to-heart was beautiful. I think they both needed it. It's also interesting to see the parallels you're drawing between the two couples - Ronmione and Scorose.

Prophecy?! Whoa, there's a plot twist I was certainly not expecting. And, oh my d*mn, another one with the prophecy not being about her, but about her future baby! Wow. (Also, props to the reaction James has "the f**k, you say" - there's always that one undiginfied but perfectly accurate reply in the room).

Okay, I KNEW that L'erge Stannous was too close to the last name Lestrange. Now I see what you did there - very clever!

Wait, why aren't they considering that it could be Scorpius as the father? I mean, it could be, right? The Malfoys were in the inner circle...? Or does it have to specifically be the child of a death eater, not the child of a child of a death eater?

Proposal - aw. How sweet!

Wait, proposal AND pregnancy?! The pass out was scary, but I'm so glad Sels was there, and she kept Al busy, too! What a good friend!

--Kate/rp

Author's Response: Hi there Kate!

Just a quick note - I think it's against the TOS rules to use curse words in a review - even if you * out some letters. IDK if this review will get removed, but I thought I'd mention it - sorry! because I don't want you to think I don't LOVE all of these (and I know you were just quoting my story - hehe)

Anyway, I'm So glad you mentioned the parallels between Hermione/Ron and Scorpius/Rose, because I will shortly have a new story coming out that tells the back story of Ron and Hermione mentioned in this (and earlier) chapters. I'd love to know what you think! :)

Haha - yeah a LOT got crammed into that chapter. It just sorta happened. Al is... very emotional and needs Selenia to balance him out for the most part.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #8, by RupertsPheonix Beloved: Scorpius POV

27th March 2015:
So glad that Rose finally opened up to Scorpius and they moved forward in their relationship!

Whoa, that action scene in the pub was itntense. Loved the moment afterwards with Ginny, Rose, and Hermione!

I love Sassy!Rose. There's that sarcasm again - "James and Fred aren't aurors." LOL. So glad that Scorpius recognizes this quality and appreciates it, too.

Oh, no, Ron's outbursts... Yikes. When Harry said "administrative action" I literally felt my eyes grow wide. But, oh, be still my heart, when you went into a third person point of view about Ron. His thoughts about post-Bellatrix's torture and how he cared for Hermione...And how that mirrors how Scorpius took care of Rose after the break in at the flat... Oh, Lawd, the feels.

The moment between Ron and Scorp in the forest. Yes. Perfect.

Onto another few chapters,
Kate/rp

Author's Response: Hi again, Kate!

I'm so excited you've noticed the little points where Rose's real character is coming through. When she's healing others, she isn't focusing on her own issues, and is more herself. Haha - yeah, Scorp's in deep at this point.

Thanks so much for your comments about Harry and Ron. I've gotten a mixed reaction regarding my version of Harry, and I've taken a bit into consideration, but I do think he would've grown up a bit while Ron... is always going to be a bit clueless and passionate. I actually tried to leave Ron's POV out of the story, because it broke my pattern of Rose/Scorp first person POV. However, I'm glad I left it in. We needed to see Ron's perspective and redeem his character a bit. I didn't want Ron to only be seen through Rose's eyes - she's biased, having been raised by him. :)

Heehee - I love the forest scene too. Those two guys have a LOT in common - they just have to get past the fact that they don't like each other :)

Thanks again - I don't know if I mentioned it earlier, but these reviews were such a marvelous surprise and I can't tell you how much they mean to me!

♥ Beth


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Review #9, by RupertsPheonix Befuddled: Rose AND Scorpius POV

27th March 2015:
Chapter 6 & 7: I love how Scorpius handled the duel between father and son, and I really enjoyed seeing the interaction between the dark-headed Potters and Scorpius. Oh, and Rose is cute - I also loved reading a bit about her relationship with Harry.

Chapter 8-10: Oh, wow! That action scene moved quickly, and it was intense! Poor Scorpius and Al, not knowing how to deal. I'm really hoping that Scorpius finds a way to show or tell Rose that this doesn't scare him off, so to speak. Poor Uncle Harry - what a good bloke, but what a hard thing to hear about, especially after the fact. You do a good job of writing Harry's character while highlighting his intense need to save people and be in control and at the same time, fiercly loving his family and friends.

Chapter 11: Yikes - what an intense moment with Scorpius in his towel. Every love story needs a good shirtless boy moment. ;) I loved that Rose literally couldn't form words - hahah!
Evo lym fo srac seh tesre ver = reverse the scars of my love. Right? Cool trick. :)

Onto another chapter! :)
--Kate/rp

Author's Response: Hi there Kate!

Wow. I know it's taken me far too long to reply to these, but I wanted you to know that your reviews were so, so appreciated. The Scopr and Al moment was REALLY intense and I'm glad it came across that they really *didn't* know how to deal with Rose's situation. Harry is put in a tough spot here, as he would never want to betray Ron, but Rose really needed him, here.

Haha - yeah, Scorp in a towel and Rose speaking gibberish.

Also - you are the second person to notice (or at least comment) on my blatant plagiarism of JK from PS (hee hee)

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #10, by RupertsPheonix Bereft: Scorpius POV

27th March 2015:
Loved reading these last two chapters from Scorpius' point of view. I feel like you just gave us a little treasure into better understanding him and why Rose referred to him previously as "often angry."

Rose is/was such a good friend. How sweet to stay with him and always know instinctively when he needed her. Seems like you're writing her with a mix of attributes from both her parents - compassion of Hermione and loyalty of Ron with the determination of them both.

Rose's accusation to Ron - "accuse me of doing something untoward with the toilet" - is hilarious. Another flash of sarcasm in the midst of a real-life difficulty.

And, again, onto the next few chapters!
--Kate/rp

Author's Response: Hi again!

Eep! I feel like you're picking up on ALL of the little nuances I've put into my characters. I did want to make a *different* version of Rose from what I've seen portrayed in other fics, but I also wanted to combine characteristics of both Ron and Hermione. I can't tell you how excited I was to see you comment on that! :D

Yeah, Scorp had a raw deal with Draco and Astoria dying when he was so young. (hold on to that fact...)

And yes! I laughed so hard (this is embarrasing to admit) when I wrote that line about the toilet. I was jumping up and down when I saw you noticed it!

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #11, by RupertsPheonix Bent: Rose POV

27th March 2015:
Okay,so I probably won't comment on every single chapter as I read all 31 posted chapters, but I wanted to go ahead and say some stuff after reading these first two postings.

First off, wow. So I have a day off work and wanted to find some good Scorp/Rose to read. I didn't realize I was stumbling into such strong writing and unique characterization - I am so pleasantly surprised! I love that I can already, even after only 2 chapters, feel a dynamic building between this friend group. I feel like I can already identify with this Scorpius and this Rose.

Even though Rose is obviously suffering some type of PTSD and/or emotional crud (for lack of a more eloquent term there), she is still a very intriguing and dynamic character. I love her mental reply to her friends/family bursting into Scorpius' room - "call it Christmas" - it's exactly how I (and lots of others) think in situations, finding the funny irony to cope with what's actually going on - that is so relatable.

I also really enjoy that you're teasing us a little with Rose's past. If I'm not mistaken, the second to last line of this chapter is the first time you even use the word "kidnap." This little-by-little revelation is definitely keeping me hooked.

I can't wait to read more and learn more about these fascinating characters! Onto chapter three!

--Kate/rp

Author's Response: Hi there!

Gosh, I don't know what to say - these reviews are so amazing. I always get excited when someone finds my stories, but your words are SO ENCOURAGING! I must apologize for taking so long to respond, but I didn't want you to think that I don't completely appreciate every single one of them!

Okay, I think I'm done with my gushing (maybe, maybe not).

Haha - I'm the same way with finding a funny point in the face of extreme situations. I always would feel little guilty, but I can't control my thoughts - haha!

Yeah, I didn't want to give too much away in the first chapter - mostly because I wanted to keep it on the shorter side, but it worked out by (hopefully) keeping the reader interested enough to come back for the second chapter.

Thanks again Kate!

♥ Beth


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Review #12, by alicia and anne Broken: Rose POV

26th March 2015:
That is a very great start to the story, beginning with a panic attack. It really drew me in and I couldn't help but wonder why, and how often it happened. And they way that you describe them sound terrifying, I would hate to go through one myself.

:( She's been numb for two years? This made me so sad for her. And I'm worried about her, and how she's managed to convince her family and friends that she's fine. I'm scared to know what happened. :S

:O someone pointed their wand at her? But, why?! Who is this Stannous? And can I kill him?!

I love how you continute her mantra through the story, it makes me connect more with Rose, it makes me want her to get better. It makes me wish that I could help her as her mantra is.

This was such an epic first chapter, so full of information that has kept me on the edge of my seat and I am dying to find out more! I can't wait to find out more! Such brilliant writing, it's so easy to get lost in your beautiful words!

Author's Response: Hi Tammi!

Thank you so much for this review! You've totally made my day with this. I was so excited that you were posting for reviews as I didn't get there fast enough the last time you posted.

I think I might be even more excited that you like my story! I know you've been writing for a long, long time and it really means a lot to me that you felt all those emotions while reading this.

I hope you continue reading it - and I'd love to hear what you think of other chapters!

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #13, by Magarie298 Betrothed: Rose POV

26th March 2015:
This was my favorite chapter by far! Scorpius' reaction to finding out he is the father in the prophecy was not at all what I was expecting. I thought he would be more happy. Through the chapter I was with Rose in feeling like poor Scorp was being a jerk! But Albus really set it straight. I thought that the information coming from Al was great also. Al has a really close relationship with both of the characters and having it come from anyone else would have made it feel less sincere.

My favorite quote from the chapter was '“You’re angry?” His voice was full of surprise. “You don’t ever get angry.”'. I think this really shows how far Rose has come from her anxiety riddled self. Before this she had always felt like she owed everyone something for protecting her, or helping her, or even just being there for her through her attacks. Here she seems to really be putting her own feelings before everyone else's and it's awesome!

As always you writing is captivating! I can't wait for the next chapter. (I mean this literally, I'm on edge.)

(ps. just realized I did this from my author account by accident)

Jeannette

Author's Response: Hi there!

Gosh - I'm so sorry that I took so long to reply to this - but I was so happy to see you were back for the next chapter!

I'm really glad Scorpius's reasoning came across. He really is a lost soul. You're not the first one to notice Al's relationship with both parties. He plays his role really well - for being someone who is so emotionally charged himself.

Yes! I love that quote as well! I think his embodies the progress Rose has made along her journey to recovery. She isn't the same girl she was in the first chapter.

Next chapter should be up really soon!

♥ Beth


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Review #14, by CambAngst Betrothed: Rose POV

24th March 2015:
Beth! What are you doing, leaving unresolved relationship drama dangling at the end of a chapter? And it isn't even a cliff hanger.

Actually, I have to say, bravo! I think -- maybe I'm just not remembering something -- that this is the first time you've let problems between Rose and Scorpius spill over from one chapter to the next. In a story that you're telling serially, that adds some depth and a more realistic feel to things. Problems don't wrap up neatly in 5,000 words in life.

It took me a long time to get my head around why Scorpius was acting the way he was in this chapter. Longer than normal, I'd say. Al didn't just have to spell it out for Rose's benefit. ;) Once it was laid out, though, it clicked with me. Maybe it's just because it's been a while since I read the actual prophecy. Maybe it's also partly because I read Emma's new chapter of Complicated right before I read this and I'm getting two different versions of "moody Scorpius" a little mixed up in my head. Either way, I spent a lot of the chapter in the same mental place as Rose. "What is this guy's problem???"

Scorpius cleared his throat, but still sounded a little hoarse when he spoke. It brought tears to my eyes and I was glad he couldn’t see my face. "A-and what about the 'lost soul?'" -- You know, with the benefit of hindsight and knowing the answer, this one passage actually says a lot of about what's going on with both of them. Scorpius has a somewhat different read on the prophecy and he's very worried about it. Rose is also hiding her feelings from him a bit. As I think back over this chapter, there were several places where Rose sort of avoids dealing with Scorpius's feelings. She seems to feel like she's giving him room, which isn't bad in and of itself, but I wonder whether she let it go on a little too long.

Nobody throws a party like the Weasleys. If your plan was to have the party introduce a lot of extra time for Rose and Scorpius to put off their moment of reckoning, it worked well.

I'm curious as to why Harry wanted to issue a press release about the prophecy. In the books, prophecies were always made to seem like closely guarded secrets. I assumed that's why the prophecies in the Ministry were protected so that only the people mentioned could obtain them. Was there a risk of the prophecy getting out somehow? Maybe Stannous?

Then there's Stannous. I have a weird feeling he's going to surface at some point during this party. Or perhaps when Rose leaves the party to find out where Scorpius went. Or maybe he actually kidnapped Scorpius from the party! As you can see, my imagination is running away with me. It happens. ;)

Wow. Al just doesn't handle change well. Or surprises. Or just about anything out of the ordinary. I was pleased that Dom was there to apply percussive negative reinforcement to the back of his head.

Going flying with James was about the lamest cop-out I've ever seen. Trust me, I've seen some lame ones. I was very annoyed with Scorpius after reading that. Strongly disapproved.

"I can't tell you how much stress this takes off of me – and Dad – and your Mum and Dad – you get the picture." His voice was kinder now. Was he close to tears?

"But," he began, steadier, "Scorpius is a different story. He didn't see this coming and he's devastated."


Just like that, you slip a "redeeming Al moment" in on us. He's such an emotional guy. And sensitive. If being an Auror doesn't work out, he'd make a great soul singer.

I have a weird feeling that something big is coming up in the next chapter. I hope it's something big. I'm eager.

Great job!

Author's Response: Hi Dan!

So sorry I've taken so long to respond to this awesome review!

Haha - I think you're right. I did make a conscious decision NOT to do the "on again/off again" thing with my Rose/Scorpius. While those stories are exciting, they can also be frustrating to read. BUT, I sort of feel like I fell into that trap a little bit by default. I couldn't help it, sometimes the characters just do it to themselves.

I'm actually relieved to hear you say that you didn't quite get Scorpius's perspective at first, because I really thought I was being overly obvious about it. I'm still not confident that my mystery/drama will play out to everyone's expectations, but know that I'm doing my very best! :)

Yet again, you've touched on a key point - and I've updated to reflect that Harry decides NOT to publicize the prophecy. Ironically, that part was added in at the very last minute before I posted the chapter. The original story line did NOT have the prophecy being made public. My reason for adding that part in was because of the back story with Harry/Hermione/Ron from the days following the war. If you recall, I'd given Hermione her own bout of PTSD (possible, nay probable - accompanying short story coming VERY soon). That story has every would-be seer making prophecies all over the place about the Trio and Hermione finds it all too much. And I've just rambled a bit to make the point that I briefly thought Harry would try to circumvent the press by releasing the prophecy himself. However - I'm back to my original thoughts where it's kept under wraps.

Al can be a bit fiery at times. He must get it from his mother. Or father. Haha - and I LOVE writing Dom :)

A weird feeling something big is coming up? Why ever would you say that, Dan? Hmm...

Well, I guess you'll just have to see! Chapter is with the beta right now...

Thanks again - SO MUCH!

♥ Beth




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Review #15, by Lostmyheart Besieged: Rose POV

23rd March 2015:
Wow, Beth, I'm... what just happened?!
My heart is beating so fast! I can't believe that just happened! Poor Rose, and I'm SO happy that Dom and Selenia were there to help her.
How on earth did Stannous come in?! And it seems like the other two wizards could apparate in? Oh my god.

You started this chapter in the sweetest way possible, and again, I LOVE YOUR SCORPIUS! I can't say it enough. I love them, both, together, 4eva.
How he kissed her when he came in, *swoon*
When they said goodbye, *even more swoon*
And then - BAM - creepy guy in her room in the middle of the night and I felt my heart ache with fear.

Now I really need to read the next chapter.
Beth, you're brilliant!

Love,
Avi

Author's Response: Hi there Avi!

Haha! I'm glad to see you've made it to the part where there's some action. Sorry to drop it on you like that, but it had to be done.

Yes, there are a lot of questions. It IS weird that he got in, isn't it? Hmmm...

Haha - I'm a little bit in love with Scorpius too. He's so head-over-heels for Rose, it is quite sweet.

Thank you again - SO MUCH - for these awesome reviews.

♥ Beth


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Review #16, by Lostmyheart Better: Rose POV

23rd March 2015:
This was a rather short chapter, but still an important one! I loved to see Rose's side of the story, I love how shy they are around each other. Or maybe it's awkwardness, or a mix of the two. But seriously, you're making my heart melt when you make Scorpius beam up like that!

It must be weird to have your uncle see something like that, but they're adults now - it had to come sooner or later.
The beginning with how Harry came up with her name teared me up a bit. Of course they wouldn't take Lily as the name for their child, it was wise to keep it in case he got a girl one day.

Again, a short review because I must go on!

Love,
Avi

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yeah, this chapter wasn't too long. I still grapple with chapter length and they end up all different. Haha - Scorpius is completely beside himself here. He wants to be there for Rose so badly, but just doesn't know what exactly to do or say.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #17, by Lostmyheart Bitter: Scorpius POV

23rd March 2015:
Beth, you make me fall more and more in love with Scorpius with every line I read! He's adorable!

I loved this chapter, are you crazy your characterizations are just perfect. You've done so much work on your chapters, with the way the think, act and respond.

I hope it's okay that I give you this short review, I just really want to move on and see what happens with Scorp and Rose!

Love,
Avi

Author's Response: Avi!

Wow! This was such a nice surprise to log in and see these reviews. This was perfectly lovely - and I'm so excited that you want to read on!

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #18, by MargaretLane Betrothed: Rose POV

23rd March 2015:
LOVE the way Rose cannot bring herself to believe it true, as she's been so worried about the other possibility that it seems she didn't even consider that it might NOT be accurate. I think that's pretty understandable.

This line sounds a little awkward: " I think the absolute look of disbelief on mine and Scorpius’s faces had shaken her." I'd be inclined to write something like, "then stopped, possibly shaken by the looks of disbelief on my face and Scorpius's." This is REALLY nitpicky though. But "mine and Scorpius's faces" doesn't sound quite right, as you wouldn't say "mine face."

Oh gosh, I didn't even think about that. I was wondering and wondering what it was that didn't seem quite right to Hermione, but I couldn't pin-point anything. You write prophecies well, having something that gives so much information, but that isn't obvious until the relevance is pointed out.

This should be all one sentence, not two: "Even though we now know that he isn’t the father from the prophecy. He is probably still going to think he is.”

And yes, I don't think Stannous is going to give up this easily.

Uh oh, it's just occurred to me to wonder what he'll plan next. Yeah, I can see two possibilities. He MIGHT realise his mistake, but I don't think he's going to take it that easily. I could see him trying to end this pregnancy, so her first child would be with him. He might not yet realise the details that specify Scorpius and might think the prophecy could refer to either of them, as the one in the books could refer to Harry or Neville and that he could get rid of this threat.

After Hermione suggests they announce the engagement and pregnancy tonight, the part where she lifts her head should be a new sentence, with a capital "s". Same with "She seemed less confident."

Hmm, I wonder if part of Scorpius's problem here is because it's a reminder of the part his grandfather played in the Death Eaters. Probably not a nice thing of which to be reminded.

The part about Ron grumbling about Ravenclaw decorations amused me. In some ways, he has NEVER grown up.

I really love the way you are continuing to show the possible disruption to Rose's career, and Scorpius's and the confusion that is causing her. A lot of stories seem to just have a baby solve everything, but no matter how wanted a child is, and how much support the parents have (like in this case), it's bound to cause adjustments.

Oh gosh, I wonder how Hugo'll feel, missing out on his sister's engagement party. It can't be helped, but he's bound to feel a little left out.

And due October 31st - a celebration in the wizarding world and the anniversary of Harry's parents' deaths. What a perfect date! It'd be great if the child was born that day.

I think if the memories are now doing no more than making her shudder, it's a good indication of how much she has recovered. Considering what she's been through, that's quite a mild reaction.

Yeah, Scorpius is going to have to grow up, now he's about to be a father. I can understand why this is stressful for him, but there will be stressful moments as the child grows up too and he can't just withdraw during them, as his child will need him.

Coming from a neutral country, the reference to Switzerland amused me.

Scorpius is starting to remind me of Remus here - reacting irrationally to the thought that he might be a father, because he is worried that he will somehow be bad for the child.

Poor Rose. It seems like she goes from one difficulty to another. Just as she began to recover from the effects of her trauma that had basically lost her two years of her life, Stannous reappears and her life is placed in danger, and then just as she is resuming her life after being on 24 hour protection and her relationship seems to be going well, all this stuff is stirred up, placing stress between her and Scorpius. She can't seem to catch a break.

Author's Response: Hi there!

Thanks for all of the great tips - I've updated the story to reflect your advice :)

I'm so, so happy that you like the realistic touches that I put into the story - especially regarding the pregnancy and the prospect of new motherhood. I have a much more planned along these lines, as I've got a bit of experience in this area (of being conflicted between your career and personal life :) )

So, I think the MOST I'm excited about is that you agree about Rose's recovery. She IS in a very different place than from the beginning of the story. Her journey isn't over yet, and her strength will definitely be tested in the future, but her recovery is something that I wanted to convey, but handle with care at the same time. Gah - thanks so much!

Yeah, Scorp was sort of blindsided by fatherhood on this one - even if the rest of us saw it coming a mile away. He's still a lost soul in a big way, and Rose realizing that is hopefully going to help him along his way.

Haha - I've sorta laid the drama a bit thick with these chapters. I could say that it's gonna let up.. but that would be a lie ;)

Thanks again for all of your reviews!

♥ Beth


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Review #19, by crestwood Breakdown: Rose POV

13th March 2015:
Hey, here for review three out of three!

Have I mentioned how interested I am in the idea of there being therapists in this story? We never see any in canon, but I like to play with the idea in my fics. I'm sure that the wizarding world has them, or will eventually.

I'm surprised to see that Rose is okay with showing Ruth her scars. It seems as though she's slowly getting more and more relaxed about them. Very slowly, but still moving forward.

I'm so fascinated by Scorpius' family magic. It seems as though Ruth knows something that she's not letting on. I'm hoping that it's something that can only be activated by truly loving someone or something similar, rather than something that would be cause for concern.

I wish Ruth was my therapist honestly. I feel like she could have saved me from a lot of grief in my life. She gives Rose the best advice ever. I completely forgot who exactly she is until she mentioned her trip to Bulgaria and now I am so sad. They didn't even get a proper goodbye :(

I was really not expecting the second scene of this chapter. I wonder how you always have the EXACT right scene for everything you're trying to do. Like, I totally get this and what it does for the narrative and it all fits together so perfectly.

A large part of me is kind of chuckling at Cormac getting yelled at by Healer Lawrence because I just hate him so much and like to see him humiliated, I guess?? (I have serious anger toward this fictional character) Of course he is most concerned with not going down in history and not all of this pain he caused. *sigh*

I'm endlessly intrigued by this 'half portkey, half apparation.' I'm coming up with all sorts of theories about how this would work. In my head, it's like the Knight Bus, but it teleports, which would, admittedly, be really awesome.

Internal splinching?? Where do you get these ideas? That is genius and also, gruesome. I am so jealous that you thought of this before I did because, wow. It's so cool that Rose was the one to figure it out!

But her losing her patient was horrifying. This is one of the saddest chapters in a story full of some pretty acute sadness at times. All of Healer Lawrence's lines at the end of this scene are golden. Especially 'If it gets easy to lose someone, then you know you have been doing this too long…' I just can't deal with how GOOD.

Everything with Scorpius is amazing in this chapter as usual. Having their first time after a day like that has some kind of sad undertones, I think. You write bedroom scenes so, so well. There's this gentleness of the words you use in those scenes that just changes the entire mood. I don't know--I don't even know how you do this, honestly. I still can't believe that this is the first thing you've ever written because like, how??

MALFOY'S MARVELOUS MEATLOAF. I love this story.

Rose getting done up and wanting to go out was a super quick change in mood...should I be worried? Maybe not. We'll see.

This might be my new favorite chapter so far. Although, the standard is so high that it's safe to say every chapter could be my favorite. Amazing, mind-blowing work yet again. Thank you for the swap ♥

Author's Response: Hiya Joey!

I'm slowly climbing through these reviews that I should've responded to ages ago :(

I did consciously put Ruth in as Rose's therapist. I really wanted to send the message that seeking help for issues that are overwhelming to you is alright. I'd only read about a therapist in fanfiction one time before writing this, and I've always found it really unbelievable that everyone's problems can be solved on their own, or with the "right" boyfriend or best friend. I know it's fiction, but that aspect of it always bothered me. So, what I'm really saying is that I'm so happy you noticed the therapist and commented on it! ♥

Cormac was an easy character to pick for everyone to hate. He's utterly detestable in the books and I imagined that he would be forever seeking the limelight - most likely though a cushy ministry job. Hehe - glad you like the internal splinching idea :)

Gah - thanks so much Joey. I actually am the MOST nervous about my bedroom scenes, so I really appreciate your vote of confidence. I actually intentionally put their first time together after Rose's emotional breakdown. I feel like the two of them were sort of stuck in a "comfortable place" with each other and needed a little push - like the realization of how short life can be - to get them moving - haha!

Eeep! Your new favorite chapter! Thanks so much! Love ya!

♥ Beth


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Review #20, by crestwood Breakthrough: Scorpius POV

12th March 2015:
Hi Beth, I'm finally back to finish our swap.

I really like this chapter because I'm getting to meet some characters that I haven't seen much of so far. I didn't expect to have a chapter so heavily focused on the mentees, but I think they're such interesting people, even if they aren't main characters or anything.

I have no idea how you manage with this story--the storyline is so dense and complicated. I couldn't keep up with all the ways they're approaching this case all at once as a writer. (although, as a reader, I soak it up fine :P)

I don't think I've ever known the hard facts about Rose's abduction. This chapter told me a whole lot that I wasn't aware of before. I really like the 'putting the timeline on the wall' thing. It makes it easier to follow because I'm picturing it as visual now.

I had a feeling that Stannous would have falsified all sorts of things at Hogwarts. They really should work on better background checks. I can't wait until the day I get to find out where he really came from because I have been wondering since he was introduced.

I'm glad that Scorpius comes to his senses so quickly about blaming himself for what happened to Rose. I really don't think Stannous was going to let him get in the way of his kidnapping.

I understand why Stannous didn't kill Rose since I've seen so far ahead in the story, but I don't exactly understand what motivated him to kidnap her in the first place. Like, what did he get out of it? Sick joy? Or something else? And why did he just return her as if nothing had happened? I have a lot of questions :P

I also really wanted to know how Stannous got into their wards. I don't quite understand yet but I have a feeling that won't be answered for a while.

I'm so invested in the mystery of this story. You've written one of the best that I've come across and also one of the best romance stories I've read here. It's incredible that you're able to balance those genres so skillfully. You're really so amazing

Author's Response: Joey!

Again with another amazing review. I'm just all over the place with how kind and thoughtful you are :)

I did waiver back and forth with whether or not to introduce the mentees. But I really needed some characters to flesh out this mystery who weren't related to OR desperately in love with Rose (I'm staring at Scorpius right now). So, I brought them in to be a set of unbiased voices. They will be serving me well in the future (*Beth sits pats her fingers together evilly*).

Yeah, Stannous was pretty adamant about getting to Rose. He went to a LOT of trouble for her. And yup, he is pretty sick. *I* even shudder when I think of it.

Good sleuthing skills, noticing that he got past the wards... more to come on that. Hehe

I can't think of a higher compliment than to hear that you are really into the mystery! Thanks so much. Eep! Joey! Now, I'm blushing

Thanks so, so, so much!

♥ Beth


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Review #21, by crestwood Befuddled: Rose AND Scorpius POV

9th March 2015:
Hi Beth! I've taken a ridiculous amount of time to get to this. My weekend was much crazier than I expected. (not that this week is any better :P)

I'm so excited that everyone's moving into Grimmauld Place! The chapters that take place there are some of my favorites. I think I'm almost caught up to the point when I began beta reading for you, but I can't remember which exact chapter that is. I don't get to really take in chapters that I beta though, so it'll be great to finally read them for pleasure when I get there.

I'm a really big fan of the Fidelius Charm. I've considered writing an action novel just so that I could have an excuse to make use of it. It's just such an awesome plot device and cabin fever and capers and everything associated with it are just so much fun.

It's kind of funny how Ron totally misses the gravity of the situation and is upset that Rose will be living with Scorpius haha. I feel kind of bad that he's out of the loop here.

I forget that Scorpius is related to the Blacks so often. And the fact that Teddy and Scorpius are distantly related completely escapes my mind all the time. And it's so weird how Teddy is considered a Next-Gen character even though he's technically a part of Harry's generation. These family trees are SO weird.

It's really sweet that Scorpius doesn't try to spin this sleeping in Rose's room thing in that way just yet. The fact that he sleeps on the floor in her room to support her and be there for her is amazing.

I can understand how helpless Scorpius must feel about not being able to prevent or fix Rose's panic attacks. I've never been in his situation, but I've been in Rose's and I know that it wears on your support system as well. It's almost inevitable that at least once you're going to feel horrible for putting everyone through so much and get upset about how much pity everyone is showing you and then have yet another panic attack about that. Panic attacks about having panic attacks are particularly bad because explaining them just sounds so silly.

I'm so glad that Albus and Harry have worked out a better way of communicating than they had before. That ended up rather explosive...literally.

I can imagine that with Harry's hero complex, (for lack of a better phrase) he wouldn't be taking kindly to the thought that all of this happened to Rose without his knowledge. I think you've really nailed him as an adult, by the way. He seems to have progressed in exactly the way I'd imagine him to based on the books. It's funny that people write adult Harry in such wildly different ways, even though we all read the same books told through his perspective and theoretically should agree on his personality more than anyone.

Colleen Creevey makes me weep a little because Colin is one of my favorites. (now i'm thinking about it and have planned out a Colin Creevey story that fits in with my Kaleidoscope Love spin-off. i can't stop having ideas)

Scorpius saying weird stuff whenever Rose is around is so perfect this could not get any better i promise you.

It makes me sad how they both have the complete wrong idea here. It's so awesome how you make use of both of their POVs in this chapter. It wouldn't have the same impact with only one because this gives us the full story of how misled they both are. Miscommunications like this cause nothing but problems, but talking about your feelings is hard. It kind of reminds me of my Rose and Scorpius from WUR, but less...hatred filled.

I am so glad that Rose's therapist is nice and that she finds her helpful. I've had some bad experiences with some but I am excited about the fact that she's having such a good one.

Rose's gibberish is SO GREAT. This is so awkward and I love it.

I want to send Rose a letter just to tell her that, I too, like and notice soft hands.

Dom is one of my favorite characters. Dominique as a wise cracking Auror is basically everything that I could ever ask for.

I'm so relieved that they finally realized that they should just be together. You wrote this so skillfully. The initial realization and the moment when Rose pulled away, their conversations about it all; everything is just perfect.

I'm really into the idea of a Greengrass specific magic. I've seen people give the Malfoy's magical secrets of their own, but I've never seen the other side of his family get much attention.

I'm so satisfied with this chapter. It was practically everything I wanted it to be and more. Such excellent work, as always. Thank you for the swap, I hope I can get to the rest soon :)

Author's Response: Joey! All of these reviews are so amazing I just can't get over them right now.

I love writing clueless Ron. He does get a chance to redeem himself later on in the story, but for now, he's "Mr. Overprotective Caveman Dad."

Harry! YES! I've gotten a lot of different reactions of my portrayal of him, but I'm glad you agree. I feel like he would not ever get over his *need* to save all the innocents (especially his family), but he would no longer be the hot-headed, hormone-driven teenager we see in the books. After defeating Voldemort, most of the other things he comes across in life are small potatoes... until Stannous (cue evil music).

Colleen Creevey is named after her Uncle Colin. It was Dennis's way of honoring his brother.

I did have a blast writing the gibberish from Rose and the phrasings that can be easily misconstrued from Scorpius - haha!

Hold on to the idea of the Greengrass magic - it may be coming back later on...

Eep! So glad this chapter delivered for you! I did work pretty hard on it and I was a little nervous about the slow build to them finally getting together, so I'm really happy that you liked it! :)

♥ Beth


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Review #22, by horcruxxx Broken: Rose POV

7th March 2015:
Hello, I'm here for the BvB Review Battle!

Even though Post-Hogwarts era is not my favorite to read about, I thought some diversity would do me good, because 90% of the stories on my reading list are everything but Post-Hogwarts stories.

And I'm really glad I chose this story :)

First of all, you manage to switch mood from really sad and depressing to cheerful very well. When I started reading about Rose's ride to Hogwarts I was immediately there, not the smallest part of me was left with the other, older Rose. I hope it makes sense :D

Also, I like yours little humoristic additions now and then. I actually laughed out loud when I read about McGonagall's reaction to Scorpius' sorting. And suggesting that the Sorting might have had one too many before sorting the first years was so funny!

And I really want to find out what happened in Rose's life, so I'll keep reading your story for sure.

Monika

Author's Response: Hi there Monika!

Eeep! I'm so glad you picked this. It is the story that I've put the most work into so far and as such, I let out a little squee with every single review. Thanks for the compliment about how the story can switch emotions. I worry about how that comes off. I also worry that my humor isn't as funny to others so yay!

Thanks so much for this review!

♥ Beth


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Review #23, by oldershouldknowbetter Bereft: Scorpius POV

2nd March 2015:
OK, here for the review swap, but going into this I feel like I might be cheating you with my review. I don't know whether I'll have much to say about what you've written because you have done such a superb job - your words speak for themselves and there is not much more I can add. The way you handled Scorpius' grief was so real, his emotions are so starkly laid for us that there is not that much more to add.

I will try and do a review of a standard that this chapter warrants.

The way you had Daphne marry a muggle was a nice touch. It sets the tone for Scorpius' estrangement from what's left of his family and their past. Not in a nasty way, not at all, but as his Aunt said - she has chosen to live her life her way and it is obvious to her and to Scorpius that that is not the way in which he wants to live his. I know I'm skipping ahead of myself in this review, but it's hard not to.

He is numb from his grief and the matter-of-fact way you present the events at the start of the chapter (a chapter seen very much from his perspective) speaks to his mental fatigue. His survivors guilt you outline well, as I mentioned in the last chapter he would feel so guilty not only in the way he left them but also because 'if he'd only been there...'; he might have smelt the gas, his presence might have meant his father might not have been there and thus ensured his father's survival. Yes hindsight. And in his deepest, darkest moments he might also think that if he'd been there then it would have only meant that there would have been three bodies lying on the floor and he is secretly glad he wasn't there.

Ugh, such a mess, such a burden for a young man. At least his aunt is leaving him alone, but then she knocks on his door to ask him to greet visitors? But it's not - it's Rose and Albus.

I very much like your characterisation of Rose. The words you put into her mouth, the almost verbal diarrhea that comes out to say anything, anything other than what is upper-most on all their minds, is so well done. In just a few words you also fill us in on a lot of relevant details of their parent's character. And the comfort that both of them give him and the breaking down of the 'Malfoy reserve' that he was possibly erecting around himself was magnificently done.

Then good old Ron barges in in just the wrong way. The way a father should, given what his paranoia tells him may be going on, moreover, what his eyes tell him is going on. You have a good grasp of storytelling technique - the pathos of this scene, almost ludicrous in it's nature, manages to pull us all back from the despair and the loss. Daphne's muggle husband is a great comedic touch.

All the characterisation is just so spot on. Ron is belligerent and over-protective just as I imagine a father of his type to be. Harry is the peacemaker and a generous soul. Aunt Daphne has some wisdom about her and genuinely wants what is best for her nephew.

And then there is Albus. There is a very subtle flaw in his character that you explore here and in a previous chapter. He is a good kid and someone who makes his dad proud, but he does muddle through somewhat; he has a tragic sense of bad timing - barging in on the half-dressed Rose in a previous chapter and being out of the room when Ron barges in in this one. It speaks of his emotional immaturity, yes I know he is younger here, but in the previous chapters (set in the future) he remains largely unchanged. He is under the shadow of his father, not in an overt way, not trapped and certainly not from his father doing, but it is unconscious - his life is a little bit rudderless. I know it is a lot to draw from him not being in the room in one scene, but as I said it is subtle and it builds in chapters to come.

And finally there is Rose. Right in the story description, up front for all to see, you state that bravery is not the defining characteristic of Rose Weasley. It is why she wasn't in Gryffindor, like her mum was. But she does have enough spine to stand up to her father, enough intelligence to make him see the truth of the matter. She might not be particularly brave, but how much of that in the Rose to come derives from her basic personality and how much from a horrific incident that has left far more than just emotional scars. The caring that these two have for each other is deep and is only furthered by the continuation of it in the months and then the years to come. Rose's almost instinctual knowledge of when Scorpius needs her comfort the most shows us how deeply they are connected and also her eventual abilities as a healer.

We snap back into the present, to find a Scorpius who is going to try to 'forget about Rose' even though he knows he cannot. So at least we know that he knows just how much Rose means to him.

This is a very good chapter and something you should be proud of - it is no wonder to me that you won best new writer, if this is the caliber of the first story you wrote.

I can offer you no higher praise than that your Scorpius influenced my own version. I had seen so many 'pureblood Malfoy' versions of Scorpius before, but when I came to this one I realised that what I was thinking should be the character of Scorpius was not only possible but was in fact desirable. I like to think that my Scorpius basically differs from yours in that in mine his father has been brutally honest with him - told him everything, all his bad deeds (even some of Lucius' too) and the shame he feels for them and the shame that this brought on an otherwise noble name. So thank you, thank you for showing me what was possible in the character of Scorpius Malfoy.

Andrew,
Oldershouldknowbetter.

PS. I obviously cannot help myself and could write about a chapter that 'needed nothing more to be said' about it. ;)

Author's Response: Hi Andrew!

So I apologize for taking far too long to respond to this. I've been a little bit busy, but the real reason is that I keep re-reading this review with a goofy smile on my face. And I just did it again. I'm so humbled by this review, I don't know if I'll be able to properly respond to it, despite the wait.

I feel like, above all else, you really understand my characters. You've picked up on every detail that I left behind and, as a writer, I'm so appreciative of that.

Haha - I really loved writing Rose in this chapter - standing up to Ron (I actually had fun with him too). And I'm glad you mentioned the story summary. Rose doesn't think she is brave, but she just doesn't realize what is inside of her. I'm slowly trying to draw it out through the story :)

I did need to make it so that Scorpius was fairly alone after his parents' deaths. But I didn't want to demonize Daphne. That would've been too easy - to make her just like Petuna and Vernon. So, I choose to have her marry a muggle. Uncle Phil was a blast. I wish I had a reason to bring him back.

Gah! You've found things about Albus that I didn't even *intend* to be there, but you're right! He does have the tiniest bit of unrefinement (is that a word?!) in his character. Sometimes I know this group so well, I don't even notice when I put little nuances of them into the story - and thanks so much for pointing it out.

Yes! They *do* care for each other deeply - they just haven't realized it yet. Hopefully it will be obvious that it is even more than that - they need each other to be complete.

Geez - I'm so blown away by this - I am having a hard time coming up with the right words to thank you. I feel honored that you take the time not only to read my story, but write so thoughtfully about it.

Thank you so much,

♥ Beth



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Review #24, by pottered  Broken: Rose POV

22nd February 2015:
Hi! Pottered1 from the forums here (:
This was a good chapter, and definitely intrigues the readers to anticipate for the next chapter because of the question: what happened to rose which made her like this; broken, and on verge of panic attacks and to keep herself distracted by continuously repeating a mantra in her mind. Not sure why the reviewers count dropped, honestly because this seems like a good story and no, you didn't stuff up everything in the first chapter, it was a good and simple one with introductions and the beginning of the plot. I also really liked Rose, and also how Albus and Selenia had been in a relationship since their forth year; it's cute. And lol, also the way James thought the hat was somehow drunk, seems very James Potter like and ooo, the fact that Scorpius was in Ravenclaw; I liked it as not many fics have Scorpius in Ravenclaw so that was a change; a good one aha.
All together, a good chapter. The award for this story seems well deserved.
-m (: x

Author's Response: Hello hello!

Gosh - I didn't intend to take so long to reply to this. Sorry! Thank you so much for reviewing this and giving your honest opinion. I'm so glad you liked the first chapter. I'm wondering if maybe the review and read count dropping is a trend for most fics - not sure.

Thanks again!

♥ Beth


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Review #25, by crestwood Back to the Beginning: Rose POV

15th February 2015:
Beth! I always miss this story whenever I go a while without reading it, but really, it's been way too long.

I feel so bad for Rose at this point in the story. I can't imagine that I'd ever feel safe again after he got inside of their flat. Everything she'd been suppressing must just be coming back to her and that simply can't be easy. It was both sad and funny that she almost stunned Scorpius.

Scorpius and Rose are so sweet right now as usual. Of course Rose isn't going into training after the night she just had! I'm almost glad that everyone knows about what happened now. It might do her some good to accept help from her friends while she's going through all of this. I can't believe you write these two so well. This is possibly my favorite Scorpius/Rose ever and they're my OTP, so that's a pretty huge deal.

I'm still unsure of how Stannous got into their flat. He must be even more powerful than I realized he was.

So this is when they moved into Grimmauld Place! I totally know where this is going, but it's still awesome to see you pull it off. This chapter was amazing as always. Your writing is so good that you almost get too used to it. It's like you forget how well written it all is because you're so invested in the storyline. Great, great work Beth ♥

Author's Response: Hi there Joey,

I love, love, love when you review any of my stories, but I especially love when you review this one. OMG! I can't. Possibly your FAVORITE Scorpius/Rose?! Gah - you've reduced me to mush and now i cnt tpe fdkada... ... ...

Haha.

I agree that it's better now that everyone knows the truth about Rose. She can't spend all her time and energy trying to hide it and although it might be a little unpleasant, she can begin her journey toward healing.

Thanks so much for this!

Love ya Joey.


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