164 Reviews Found

Review #1, by crestwood Bereft: Scorpius POV

27th July 2014:
Well, I can hardly believe their deaths were a kitchen accident. Actually, I downright don't believe that's what happened. I feel as though we'll revisit that at some point later on in the story.

Aunt Daphne seems like a nice enough person, but she's completely right about her not being the right person for Scorpius right now. I did like the fact that she was paying attention to his sleep and eating habits, because at least she cared one way or another.

I thought Albus and Rose's visit was really sincere, although they couldn't have assumed they wouldn't get caught as soon as anyone realized they were gone. Still a nice gesture. I thought Scorpius' uncle was absolutely hilarious with his reaction to Ron angrily bursting into his home.

Ron and Harry were perfectly characterized as well. I wish I could say that canon Ron would never try to hex Scorpius, but he totally would haha. I'm glad that Scorpius was offered to live at the Potter's, I think it'll do him good.

Until the end of this chapter, I had almost forgotten that I've been reading flashbacks and not the present day. I was a bit absorbed into Scorpius' backstory here. Another great chapter!

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Review #2, by Dianainga Breakages: Scorpius POV

27th July 2014:
I am confused...what happened at the end of Ron's POV? Is it Dom? Surely, they had some better way of contacting Ron especially with him being a Sr. Auror. Love the story..but was confused by this.

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for the review! I think you are the second person to comment on the confusion with Ron. I am going to edit that - still thinking of how I want to do it. It isn't Dom, the other three are just going to finally tell Ron about Rose's torture during her abduction. She had told Harry a few months back, who confided in Ginny and then Hermione found out about it earlier that night. The reason they didn't contact him was because it wasn't a true emergency and - ya know Ron - he needs a bit of time to cool off.

Thanks again - I appreciate the feedback!


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Review #3, by crestwood Blown Away: Scorpius POV

26th July 2014:
I'm getting through this so incredibly slowly, I'm sorry! But, I really do plan on reading and reviewing the whole thing. I'm much too interested in these characters to even think about not telling you my opinion on each chapter.

Wow, Beth you are doing something incredible here. At first, I thought the flashback was simply a anecdote about Scorpius' emotionally distant father and their disagreements over Draco's prejudices. BUT you've taken this is such an unexpected direction.

It was a bit tragic, as well as eerie the way he sort of sensed that something was amiss before his eyes confirming the suspicion. It must be terrible to find both of your parents' dead bodies like that at age 15, but even worse knowing that the last time you saw them was not on good terms. You captured the shock of that course of events really well. The moment the chapter shifted in tone was really evident.

I'm left with so many questions about what happened and how he'll react down the line, how it'll affect him, what he'll do now that he's orphaned so suddenly, etc. I trust that you'll address all of my questions in future chapters though, so I wont bother hounding you for answers. I'm pretty busy today, but I'm making time to continue reading this very soon. Awesome chapter!

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Review #4, by MargaretLane Breakout: Rose POV

26th July 2014:
I like the way Scorpius immediately recognises that Rose is finding things a little difficult.

"Professor" should have a capital "P" when it's used as a title, so it should be "Professor Longbottom," not "professor Longbottom."

Yikes, Rose doesn't exactly hold back, does she? Commenting like that on Albus and his girlfriend's relationship. And yikes, Dom is even more direct. They don't exactly maintain privacy, do they? *laughs*

Just a random fact: "Colleen" is actually the Anglicisation of the Irish word for "girl", which is spelled "cailín," but pronounced the same.

Love the relationship you've created between Albus and Rose, where they confide in each other like that. And his comment that they've been worried about her for a long time.

YIKES! Death Eaters, still! More than twenty years after the war. At this stage it must be about 28. I guess it's not entirely surprising, but I REALLY hadn't expected it, especially not after such a relaxed pub scene. I wonder what's going on now. *is intrigued*

"Potters'" should have the apostrophe after the "s" as there is more than one of them.

And I think Scorpius is right to send Rose to go and get Lily. For one thing, somebody probably should. A sixteen year old shouldn't be involved in something like that. Despite what Harry and his friends got involved in at younger ages, it's not exactly ideal. And Rose isn't an Auror or in any way trained in battle, apart from her Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons, so when there are Aurors there, there's no need for her to be involved, especially when she already has trauma from a previous attack and doesn't need it reinforced. AND when they still don't know what that guy's intentions were and he COULD well be involved with the Death Eaters for all they know.

Now, admittedly, part of the reason I'M thinking that is because I assume you must have some reason for bringing them in and your characters don't have the same reason to suspect his involvement, but I still don't think it's a good idea for her to be fighting unknown Dark Wizards when they know there's at least one that seems to have some particular interest in her.

And of course, the last part does seem to imply that yes, it is Rose they are after. I really wonder why.

This does seem to fit with the possibility of revenge, but even if that's true, why specifically on Rose? You'd think they'd be more concerned with Harry's kids, if anything.

Unless of course, it's somebody Hermione or Ron played a specific part in defeating. I can't exactly remember who they dueled in each book now. I tend to skim over the duels and just wait for Dumbledore's explanations as to what's going on anyway. Hmm.

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Review #5, by MargaretLane Breakdown: Rose POV

26th July 2014:
OK, I'm FINALLY getting back to this. As this is such a long chapter, and it's such a gorgeous day, it's likely I'll only get one chapter read now, but I WILL catch up. I promise.

Hmm, now I'm intrigued about the type of magic Scorpius used. Ruth seems to be implying there's something mysterious about it, but not in a bad way.

I'd be inclined to put the inverted comma before the word "curse" when you wrote about the "let's not talk about it" curse.

It must be particularly hard for Rose to speak to a therapist when she's training to be a medical professional herself. Obviously, medical professionals do need to attend medical practitioners just as anybody else does, but I'd imagine it would be easy to feel embarrassed about receiving help when you're usually the one who gives it.

Poor, poor Rose. Losing a patient, particularly for the first time, must be traumatic enough and particularly when she's so anxious to prove herself, let along having it happen after everything else she's been through. I hope it doesn't set back her recovery.

Yeah, it's down to Rose that so many people were saved, but I imagine the whole event was still pretty traumatic.

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Review #6, by Cake Breakages: Scorpius POV

23rd July 2014:
Sorry, I realized that I needed to clarify something
My previous review was of the story as a whole. I binge-read it and was too excited to post a review on every chapter.
I wish I was eloquent enough to tell you everything I think about your writing, but I agree with almost everything in the other reviews I have read.
Grammar and spelling are really important, and you did a great job with the editing. People often don't realize how distracting and disillusioning editing mistakes can be.

Author's Response: Hello again!

Two reviews - wow and thanks! I think you're doing a fine job of telling me what you think! I do work fairly hard on the editing part, because I agree with you about grammar and spelling - a story can have a great plot, but if you are always coming across glaring errors, it takes something away from it.

For right now, I am updating fairly regularly, so you shouldn't have to wait too long for the next chapter. Thanks again for stopping by!

~Beth (Veritaserum27)


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Review #7, by Cake Breakages: Scorpius POV

22nd July 2014:
The only specific praise that I have is that I really enjoyed the last few chapters where Harry, Ron, and Hermione's experiences were brought in. Those instances connect this story with the original series, which helps me connect with the characters you're developing. Also, the adult aspects make it more realistic and relatable, and I'm impressed by your subtle innuendo and classy restraint.
I eagerly read through this in one sitting and was really disappointed when I didn't find a "Next Chapter" button on this page.
I felt like it would be wrong of me to enjoy your writing so much without telling you. I am desperate for the Harry Potter universe to continue expanding, and you do a very nice job holding true to the characters and story line.

Author's Response: Hi!

Sorry for not responding to this sooner. Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to write a review.

"I eagerly read through this in one sitting and was really disappointed when I didn't find a "Next Chapter" button on this page."

That is one of the nicest compliments I've ever received! I've done that with other stories and I never really imagined that someone would be so drawn in by mine that they would read it all at once!

I'm glad you noticed the little pieces of the books that I've put into the story! No one has mentioned that yet!

Thanks again!

P.S. I LOVE your username! Is it in homage to the band - or do you just really enjoy eating cake??


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Review #8, by amelia_rose_pond Breakages: Scorpius POV

22nd July 2014:
Ah!!! Such a fantastically written scene! I can't wait for the next update!!

Author's Response: Thanks for another review and the kind words.

I hope to have another update soon!


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Review #9, by CambAngst Breakages: Scorpius POV

22nd July 2014:
Hi, Beth! It's always a nice surprise when I check in with this story and there's a new chapter posted.

I didn't really think about the timeline until I was reading your author's note at the end, but now that I think about it, Rose must have been running on fumes throughout this chapter. She made it through the aftermath of the mass-splinching, she got it on with Scorpius, she went out to a bar, she survived a death eater attack, she had that huge emotional moment with her mother... Wow. She literally must have been on the verge of collapse.

I feel like some readers might not agree or approve, but I have to say that I thought you got Ron exactly right in this chapter. He doesn't deal with change well, nor does he deal well with adversity when it's personal. He tends to get angry, look for scapegoats (Hermione in the early part of Sorceror's Stone, Harry in Goblet of Fire and again in Deathly Hallows) and say nasty things that he regrets later. The fact that everyone is telling him that he's wrong would only tend to make him angrier.

With Rose, I thought you hit a pretty good balance. She was very immersed in her work, which gave her the confidence to challenge her uncle. "Harry spoke first, since everyone else was pretty much tongue tied, in awe of her... well..." Yeah, that. ;) At the same time, you didn't overdo it. She still can't quite bring herself to tell her father off. She's hurt by his cruel words and lack of understanding. Instead, you gave her small shows of defiance, like holding Scorpius's hand or tucking into his embrace.

Scorpius's emotions made perfect sense to me throughout. He's worried about Rose and angry at the mistreatment she's suffering from her father. At the same time, he knows he's on thin ice, job-wise. And I think he had faith that Harry wasn't going to let Ron go too far, which probably helped.

The way you wrote Harry in this chapter was, for me, a big improvement over the chapter where Rose finally tells him about Stannous. I could feel a bit of fire and emotion there, tempered by the fact that he was presiding over a meeting full of people who work for him. I did feel like it was a little too late and a little too formal when he finally told Ron off. Given how well he knows Ron, I would have expected him to try to slow the Ron Train down a bit earlier and a bit less administratively. Then again, maybe he just knows a lost cause when he sees one.

I think the character I was most confused by in this chapter was Albus. Up to this point, you've painted him as something of a hothead who's viciously protective of Rose. Here, he watches her absorb a mountain of abuse from her father and he really only steps in to try to defend Scorpius.

I really liked the PoV changes in this chapter and I thought that every scene added something. Ron's scene added some very necessary color and depth to his anger. Without that, I think Ron would have come off a bit caricatured. Instead, you made his feelings seem natural and believable. For a moment, I was tempted to believe that you were dropping a cliffhanger on us, but I think they're just going to tell Ron the truth about what Stannous did to Rose. The final scene from Rose's PoV added a little closure and certainty to her feelings at the end of this very long, very hard day.

I didn't see a single typo or misplaced word in this chapter. Great editing, and overall great job!

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Review #10, by amelia_rose_pond Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

21st July 2014:
I really enjoyed the intensity and accuracy of this chapter! You captured the raw emotion and uncontrollable anger that comes from pain so well! I found myself getting angry with scorpius and albus. So good job, you did a fantastic job!!

Author's Response: Hello!

So nice of you to drop by for this wonderful review. Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad that you found the emotion and pain to feel real. I worked hard to get the emotion just right.

Thanks again!

P.S. Love your username and quote - Matt Smith is MY Doctor!

Beth (Veritaserum27)


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Review #11, by crestwood Bent: Rose POV

21st July 2014:
It's been awhile, but I'm back to give you another review! Kind of coming from the review tag, but mostly just reading for pleasure at this point.

I like that Scorpius has a house with not only Al, but James. No one ever envisions him as friendly with James as well, but I like it.

Rose reacts to parties and crowds kind of similarly to me and trust me, this is an accurate portrayal of a person suffering from panic attacks. Hers may be a bit more crippling due to her kidnapping, of course, but regardless, very realistic take.

Scorpius coming to keep her company is really awesome, although I was wondering what the reason for his mood at first was! I wonder what's got him that way in the midst of a party.

The scene with the man at the party was very well written. I felt terrible about the way she blamed herself and kind of saw it as an overreaction though. I think she's perfectly justified in freaking out about some random drunk man grabbing her, even if she was never kidnapped at all. I hope she begins to understand that it isn't all her fault, eventually.

I'm glad you gave Rose and Scorpius a tender moment without it having to be overly romantic. I like a nice moment between friends just as much and I think they are unfortunately underused on this site.

This was an awesome chapter. Can't wait to read on!

Author's Response: Hi Crestwood - so sorry I didn't respond to this right away (I've been a little tied up in The House Cup!) But I didn't want you to think I wasn't totally THRILLED to see you came back for another chapter! Woot!

Panic attacks are nasty things, aren't they. I'm glad you found it believable. I think the worst part is that you are swallowed up by the situation and don't even REALIZE it is an attack until it is too late.

Rose SHOULD be justified in freaking out, but she doesn't see it yet. Her world has been a mound of covering up her attacks and hiding the truth about her abduction to the point that she can't even feel it when it is normal to react to something like that.

Scorpius - at this point - is pretty angry and bitter all the time. He doesn't exactly know why, but it might have something to do with just plain loneliness. That and frustration that he *knows* something is up with Rose, but can't put his finger on it. He's got it bad for her...

I'm glad you like the pacing of their relationship. It wouldn't be believable for them to fall right into each other and I definitely DON'T like to do the whole together one chapter, breakup the next cycle.

You will learn a LOT more about Scorpius in the next two chapters. It sort of sheds a light onto his character and what's going on with him.

Thanks SO much for this lovely, lovely review! I can't tell you how much it means to me!

~Beth


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Review #12, by dracodarlingxx Breakable: Rose POV

18th July 2014:
oh dear god that was riveting. so frikking dramatic.
you just seem to know the right reactions for each character, like when Rose goes down to the basement and starts practising all her spells, so angry at herself like a Gryffindor, yet learning the spells like a Ravenclaw.
SUCH a good chapter ., definetely my favourite :D glad we got to see Ginny's POV, and just a bit unsure about whether Hermione knows about what happened to Rose now?
please update soon xx

Author's Response: Hi Hi!

So glad to see you back! I was really proud of this chapter - both in the emotion that was portrayed and Rose's progress. She experienced some frustration, but made some breakthroughs with her Mum and focusing on what she is good at: healing instead of fighting. I'm glad you picked up on Ginny's POV. Many people don't like Ginny and claim that she is the typical "girl next door who marries the hero." But there comes a lot a baggage with that - and I didn't want to gloss over the fact that being brave sometimes means you have to be strong for everyone else instead of being in the thick of battle.

To answer your question: Yes, Hermione knows about Rose's torture during her abduction. Now Rose also knows about Hemione being tortured at Malfoy Manor during the war. Both of those facts play an important role in the next few chapters.

The next chapter is in the queue - so YAY! I can't wait to hear what you think about it!

~Beth


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Review #13, by crestwood Broken: Rose POV

17th July 2014:
Hey, I'm here from the review tag!

Wow, you've been working on this story for a really long time. I can't believe you were so successful on your first ever fanfic, both in quality and review count.

Rose's panic attacks are very well written and realistic. The encounter in her past that caused them sounds absolutely traumatic. You've really given us a look inside her mind. Especially with the kind of chanting she does inside her head of the tasks she's supposed to be doing in order to keep her firmly planted in reality. That's such a good touch there, in my opinion. Also, I've never read anything in which Rose, Scorpius and Al are all sorted into Ravenclaw before, that's definitely unique within my experiences on this site. I'm interested in where you'll take this and I'm going to read through this all, but that may take me a while, unfortunately. But I'm for SURE going to leave a review on each chapter. Great job on this!

Author's Response: Hello and thank you so much for this lovely review. I was so excited to see that you chose this story - most people shy away from the novels and play it safe by reviewing a one-shot. I've definitely worked the hardest on this story so far and I plan to be fairly consistent with the updates (at lease for the next couple months).

I hope I've included enough mystery and intrigue to keep you interested. I'm so excited to hear what you think about each chapter. Like I said, this is my first attempt and I am muddling though a bit.

I just wanted to let you know that this review totally made my day!

~Beth


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Review #14, by luciusobsessed Breakable: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
Wowowowow I'm so sad this is the last chapter so far :( This was so intense, mostly because we're waiting to find out what happened. I'm so glad Rose found out the truth and was okay with Hermione finding out. I'm just nervous about Ron now. Please hurry up and update! You're amazing!!

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Review #15, by luciusobsessed Breakout: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
OMG I KNEW THEY WERE AFTER ROSE AND I KNEW THAT WOULD HAPPEN. It's so strange how Death Eaters are coming back? Does this have something to do with Voldemort even though he's gone? I mean The Cause at least. Idk I can't review right now because I have to read the next chapter lol

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Review #16, by luciusobsessed Breakdown: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
Ah you did again, another amazing chapter!! It was perfect!! It really is hard losing a patient. It's one thing learning about it and another experiencing it. I could never deal with that kind of responsibility. I'm glad Rose can be so close to Scorp now without freezing up. I still feel like something bad is going to happen soon though. We shall see I suppose. Right now I'm just ridiculously excited over how cute they are.

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Review #17, by luciusobsessed Breakthrough: Scorpius POV

15th July 2014:
I like the edge of mystery to this chapter, it really brings a lot of questions to light. I don't know why but a part of my suspects maybe someone from the inside is involved? It's just a random guess though, I'm not sure. Either way, this Stannous guy is seriously scary and I can't wait to figure everything out about him.

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Review #18, by luciusobsessed Befuddled: Rose AND Scorpius POV

15th July 2014:
It's about time they talked! I swear miscommunication is always the problem and I'm so happy they finally talked about it instead of dragging it on. They are perfect, I swear. It's terrible that Rose has to suffer so much mentally, and I feel like even though she's getting better, something is going to happen again suddenly. I'm glad she has everyone supporting her though, especially Scorpius. Great job on this chapter, it was amazing once again!!!

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Review #19, by luciusobsessed Back to the Beginning: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
I love Harry so much. This is making me want to have a movie marathon and I think I will after catching up on all the chapters. Harry is the sweetest most caring person ever and I'm trying not to cry right now. I wish I had an uncle like him in my life and family like the Potters and Weasleys. Sorry I'm getting too personal and dramatic. You're such an amazing writer and your story is so amazing. I'm so attached haha. I like how Rose has that small voice in her head that doubts Scorpius. That's how I always am too, there's always that small room for doubt so I can really connect with her character over that. I loved this :))

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Review #20, by luciusobsessed Bombarda Maxima: Scorpius POV

15th July 2014:
Wow, I think this was definitely my favorite chapter so far. It was so so so intense I can't even…I gasped so many times. Poor Rose :( They finally discovered the scars on her back and it made them go crazy. I love how protective they all are of her. I wish I was part of their group/family honestly. It was really scary imagining Albus and Scorp torturing those poor trees, especially when Albus used the killing curse. That was crazy intense. I'm glad that they're all sticking together, especially Scorp with Rose. He better not play the hero and give up lol.

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Review #21, by luciusobsessed Besieged: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
No poor Rose. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm excited for all this drama because it intensifies everything, especially with Scorpius. I just feel so bad for her that she has to deal with the trauma of everything all over again. Everything was going so well for her and Scorpius. I had a feeling that guy from the party earlier had something to do with her trauma. I would write a longer review but I want to read the next chapter haha.

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Review #22, by luciusobsessed Better: Rose POV

15th July 2014:
I love how realistically nervous you make Rose. God knows I would be so nervous I would probably turn around and leave the room hahaha. They are so cute together and I like how it's not cheesy at all. THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING CHEESY! Scorpius is so cute. I love how he gets just as nervous and isn't trying to be super macho all the time. I think it's interesting how Rose is closer to Harry, and it's adorable how Harry notices the romance going on between Scorp and Rose. On to the next chap!!

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Review #23, by CambAngst Breakable: Rose POV

14th July 2014:
Hi, Beth! I just eat these chapters up as soon as they're posted!

Whew! I was worried at the end of the last one that Rose and Lily wouldn't make it. Once you land them safely on terra firma, I really liked the progression of this chapter. Rose went from being a shaking, blubbering mess -- granted, one that was able to apparate two people to safety without losing any parts -- to seizing control of the situation by the end of it. As is always the case with your writing, the transition was paced beautifully. There were steps forward and small setbacks along the way, which adds to the realism. Things aren't linear in real life.

I really liked the way you wrote Ginny in this. She's not dismissive or blasé about the situation, but she behaves like she's been there before. Because I'm sure she has. Many times. She understands how she can best help her husband: by staying calm and not rushing into the middle of an already dangerous scene. She was fantastic at reassuring Rose and helping her to focus on the thing that she can control: herself.

I loved Rose's inner monologue in this chapter. I pretty much love it in all of your chapters, but this one was even better. You could feel the frenetic energy pouring out of her, punctuated by the moments of total exhaustion. It was a huge roller coaster ride, which I'm sure was exactly what Rose was feeling in the moment.

When you're tweaked to the point of coming unglued, there's nothing quite like unleashing your frustrations on a dueling dummy to calm those frazzled nerves! Awesome scene.

Wow. So now Rose knows the whole truth about her mother. The mother-daughter circle comes complete, in a way. I hope this will be a big step toward Rose accepting her experience and being able to talk about it with the people closest to her.

Who could have known I was at the pub?

Everyone.
-- Are you intentionally having a laugh on me here? :p

The end of the chapter was just awesome! Rose, in total control! No, you silly boy, you will not go to that stupid briefing right now. Lay your delectable booty down on this couch while I throw down some healing on you! Aunt Ginny! Don't just stand there, go get the snake fangs!

Honestly, if you take "typical" Harry Potter scenarios out of context, they're hilarious.

I saw one typo as I was reading:

My fingers pulled the unruly curls tights and twisted it back into a ponytail without thinking. - "... pulled the unruly curls tight and twisted them..."

Awesome, awesome chapter! It so much fun to see Rose coming along like this. Can't wait for the next!

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Review #24, by kenpo Breakout: Rose POV

12th July 2014:
WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THE CHAPTER THERE? I'M SO MAD AT YOU. I actually totally love you, though. This story is going to mess with me.

I really liked that Rose wasn't completely cool at the pub. It would rub me as really unrealistic if she clicked the on/off switch of mental illness.

OKAY AND THEN THE DEATH EATERS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE WHOA NOW. How the heck did they knew that Rose was going to be at the pub? She didn't even know that she was going to be there until she was there!

Which one of them is working against her? It better not be Scorpius. Maybe this has something to do with his magical power? I've also been wondering what circumstances he can use them under. I've been meaning to mention that, but I kept forgetting. What circumstances can he use that power under? TELL ME.

I'm so sad that there are no more chapters right now.

This is so crazy. WHY WERE THE DEATH EATERS THERE?

I can't handle this right now. Oh my god.

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

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Review #25, by kenpo Breakdown: Rose POV

12th July 2014:
OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD. WHAT? WHAT? I'M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.

Okay so the first part with the therapist was just generally awesome and gave us some nice character insight.

And then the second part... WHAT? Okay am I remembering right, was that Cormac McLaggen? I can totally see him going into that type of career, and being that ambitious, but also irresponsible.

You wrote out that scene so well. I couldn't stop reading. I was nervous and right there with the action. I'm so proud of how Rose handled herself!

It's gotta be really rough for her to lose her first patient :(. That can't be good for her overall recovery.

The her and Scorpius. YAAS. I'm so excited for them. All I can do/say is just freak out all over the place.

I'm getting way too into this fic. I need to stop... after the next chapter...

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

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