Reading Reviews for Conspiracies
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 Nothing left to say

15th April 2015:
Hi! I'm here for the April BvB. :)

Because The Defenders has no more new chapters, I thought I would stop by this one. I know that you've marked it "Abandoned," but the summary drew me in.

And I'm happy that I read this chapter, even though after I write this review I'll probably read the others and be left hanging for all eternity... But that's beside the point. The point is, I really like the premise for this story!

Melody seems like a really cool girl. I love that she's in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, which is not a place where you see a whole lot of female OCs in Next Gen fic. And she's really good at her job--which she's been doing for only a month. That seemed slightly too-good-to-be-true to me, especially since even she was questioning why Harry and Hermione would pick her to do the job. But the explanation that she's less biased and doesn't have her own political agenda was legit. So I'm definitely sold on the idea of her being a super awesome DMLE officer. Ladies kicking butt and taking names is what I live for!

So, James Potter's in a spot of trouble and his daddy's trying to get him out of it? I'm DEFINITELY sold! I really wonder what your version of James is like, because there are so many ways that this could go. Is he a spoiled brat? Is he a mama's boy? What's his relationship with Harry like? When do I get to meet him?

Ooh, and the name "Heather Merryweather" is just phenomenal. Like, what a perfect name for someone who's trying to follow in Rita Skeeter's footsteps! Gah, just one more detail that makes me love this story already.

I really enjoyed that beginning description of Melody's ride on the lift. I could imagine all of the people crowding in, and it can definitely get claustrophobic! I especially appreciated that you used that space to give a voice to Melody's insecurities about her job--she seems to be slightly nervous at the beginning, and maybe that's because she's afraid she's not qualified enough? But hopefully her work on James's case will help her realize her full potential.

Okay, I know that you maybe don't want reviews on this story because it's Abandoned and all, but I just wanted to say that I hope you change your mind and continue this someday. What I've read so far is really great, and I can see this going in a really fun direction.


Author's Response: Oh Mallory, your reviews always make me smile! :)

Thank you so much! I actually really enjoyed writing Conspiracies and I adored Melody but then I lost pre-written chapters and between that and uni, I never found the time to get around to finishing it!

I do love Melody! No it's not and that's why I wanted her there - I figured there should be a little girl power in the Magical Law Enforcement! Well i'm glad my explanation was legit.I was a little unsure about having her be recruited by Harry and Hermione and I know I've had a review that wasn't sure about that. But the whole 'being neutral' to me makes perfect sense but then again, i'm biased because this is my story! Yes! Girl Power all the way! Kick ass females all the way!

I wanted a James II plot that wasn't like everything else I had read and that's what I came up and it was definitely inspiration for the rest of the story! James is...well you'll see him in the next chapter and the others (if you read on, that is).

True Story: A Geography teacher in my high school was called Mr Merryweather and that's where the name comes from! I needed it to be ridiculous and I think it fits! Awww, thank you!

Thank you so much for this review! You'll definitely know how to give a girl confidence in her writing! Hopefully I will because I did enjoy it but some reviews and then me losing the chapters put me off but one day, I hope to come back and you'll be the first to know!


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Review #2, by HarryGinnyLove88 Ain't It Fun

3rd December 2013:
when you continue.. i cant wait the end of the story..
just creat start :)

Author's Response: Thank you for your review!

I'm glad you enjoyed the story but however, this story is now abandoned after I lost pre-written chapters and I just lost motivation.

And I apologise for this very late review!

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Review #3, by missclaire17 Ain't It Fun

11th September 2013:
I get that Melody is upset, but the truth is, what James is feeling makes sense. Melody isa rookie. Since James is (should be) innocent, I think that he thinks the entire thing isn't worth it because he knows that he is going to be proven guilty in court. Not to mention, what more could he do? Being the one accused of murder doesn't exactly make one very positive, so I can compeltely understand why James acts the way he did to Melody. Honestly, I don't think he was that arrogant at all. The entire case is almost helpless; rather than acting like an ungrateful child, James has given up. Not to mention, if it were me, I wouldn't feel reassured that Melody is a rookie. I think her own over-worked state mixed with how important the case is makes her think that she should get more gratitude from James, which she should. But looking from both points of view, neither of them know each other, James has probably given up, and Melody is a rookie. I think that it can't be helped. James would have done to be more thankful, but I don't think Melody quite understands James's point of view. Of all the brilliant lawyers, his dad and his aunt hires a ROOKIE? If I were Melody's friend, I would tell her that she needs to be more understanding. Everything is done with reason; if she really wants to get anywhere, she needs to understand why his family is so adamant about James not being guilty. Only then can she find the truth. She's completely stuck, so when you're stuck, it's better to find another way.

Author's Response: I think Melody just took his reaction the wrong way and took it to heart, rather than for seeing it for what it was - James giving up. I think deep down she agrees with James about her being rookie - she doesn't have much confidence in herself and I think James pointing it out just hit a sore spot.

You're right, she doesn't understand his point of view, she has never been in that situation herself and she has no idea how to put herself in his shoes. All in all, she just took his words to heart and you know what it's like when you're not feeling confident about something and then someone goes and points it out - it hurts.

Thank you so much for your review! It means a lot


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Review #4, by academica Nothing left to say

5th September 2013:
Hello, here for the Ravenclaw Review Battle :)

I'm kind of surprised that you haven't gotten any reviews for this chapter yet, because I really enjoyed it! I think you've got a fascinating premise and I'm intrigued to meet James and see how you've characterized him. I like Melody already; she seems realistically skeptical and nervous. I especially liked the ending where she wasn't quite sure of her decision and then sank more comfortably into it when she noticed how happy Harry seemed about her compliance.

To me, though, it seemed like you spent an undue amount of time with her boss being upset about losing her. I think you could have devoted more of that space to describing the crime as it was reported in the paper, because right now I'm really curious about what happened and what evidence there is against poor James.

I noticed a few typos, but it's nothing a beta or an extra round of proofing couldn't help fix. I would also suggest using the Simple Editor in the future, because doing so will help reduce those large spaces in between your paragraphs.

Overall, though, nice work :)


Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review!

I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I've been having second thoughts about it due to lack of reviews but this review is exactly what I needed! I'm so happy you like the premise of the story and also that you like Melody. The one thing I didn't want to do was make her this confident 'I can do anything' character because I know that's not how I would react if I was asked to do something as big as what is being asked of her.

That's the one part of this chapter I have been unsure about. While I was writing it I was trying find a place to end it but it just seemed to keep on going. Taking your advice into account, I have just edited it and included an insight onto what happened and the evidence involved so it's not too much of a mystery, in the sense that no one has any idea what James has done.

I've edited it so hopefully all typos are gone, I'm dreadful at proof reading but I persevered so that should be all sorted now.

So that's what I need to use! I've been trying to work out how not to have the huge spaces because it's been bugging me so thanks for that, now I can stop stressing about it!

Again, thank you Amanda. This review has meant an awful lot to me!

- Vicki

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Review #5, by missclaire17 That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)

28th August 2013:
Hello! I love a good detective story such as this. I also find it hard to believe that James would murder anyone, even if the case against him is strong.

I like the reasoning that Harry and Hermione had for picking Melody to be the detective. At first, I was feeling unsure why Melody was chosen but then they stated that she WAS unbiased, and thinking back, it makes a lot of sense.

I think that Adelaide and Shane were involved. My imagination is running wild and I'm thinking that they had an affair, Archie found out, violence ensues, Archie dies, Adelaide and Shane pin the entire thing on James.

I hope that everyone works out well for Melody and James! (:

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for reading and reviewing this story!

I'm really glad that you've understood the reason Melody is involved. I was unsure at first whether it would be clear to the reader and whether the idea of a rookie cop helping in the investigation was too far fetched but I'm glad you've understood it! With her age and her not really being involved with the Potter's during school or any other time, I believed she was the perfect unbiased candidate to pick. She has no hidden agenda!

Ah, well I can't confirm nor deny your ideas but I'm glad you've given the story time to come up with a theory!

Again, thank you so much for reading and leaving me a wonderful review, I really appreciate it!

- Vicki

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