Reading Reviews for Ancient Wonder
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PolyJuice_ Ancient Wonder

13th March 2014:
BLACKOUT BATLLE~ 1/20

"That darker shade of pale" *giggle* I can already tell I'm gonna love this!

This was the cutest little fluffy chapter ever! Not to mention well-written! (I can't believe you wrote this under the HC time-pressure! *bows down*)

I loved the dynamic between Lily and her friends, the whole group of them seem like a laugh.

Your writing style is absolutely amazing, from the very first paragraph you had me captured and I was sad to see it end. I think I'll have to go check out the novel you mentioned in your AN! *favourites you for late*

Anywho, I loved this story so much, great job!

Liz

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Review #2, by MC_HK Ancient Wonder

1st March 2014:
GvS Blackout 1/10

Hello! I have to say, I really enjoyed this :) I like the friendship you having going on between these girls, it's obvious that they are close enough to joke around with each other. Speaking of which, you gave them each a distinct personality, which is something I always enjoy reading in stories. I also relate to Lily, since I would totally be the same way if I ever got the chance to go to Rome :)

I only noticed a missing words, but other than that, it was very well written and mistake free!

--Monica

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Review #3, by BookDinosaur Ancient Wonder

16th January 2014:
Hello Lauren! Here for my (incredibly, unforgivably late) review swap! :)

Ah, I really enjoyed reading this little story, finding our about the Colosseum was really interesting. I've (sadly) never been to Italy (although my family are planning to go soon!) and I loved this little oneshot.

I think Lily, although we've only met her here, I think you did a great job with her characterisation and how she acted. The energy and excitement that radiated off her was really well done, I love how active she was and how the other two were all just complaining about her, I can sympathise with them!

I really enjoyed how Lily described the Colosseum to her friends as well, those are some really cool facts and everything was really realistic, like how you had them reading out of guidebooks and they acted like tourists, looking around with a wide-eyed sort of wonder. The way you worked in those facts about the Colloseum were really smooth and didn't disrupt the flow of the story at all, so kudos to you there!

Hehe, the heat sounds really awful, I can relate because I live in a desert and it gets to you so badly. *shudders* I'm so glad we're in the middle of winter now. You did a really good job with the description of this piece, I could almost feel like I was in Italy myself and I could definitely see the whole scene unfolding in their heads. I especially loved how you focused on all five senses instead of just a few, that's something I struggle with.

Ah, I loved Arthur's little came, I think it makes sense that he would spoil his grandkids with Muggle things, and it's nice to see that Lily inherited his enthusiasm. :)

I really liked the relationship you wrote between the three girls on the trip to Rome, I could definitely imagine that. It seemed so real and normal, I really enjoyed reading about them together. i love how Alice and Ivy sort of tone down Lily without stifling her, and how the three girls can just talk to each other caually, it was lovely to read.

All in all, this was a really nice little oneshot - I really enjoyed reading it and I'm glad I had the chance to! :D

Author's Response: Hi there!!

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this lovely review!!

Aha I hope you get the chance to go to Italy! It's really beautiful, I loved it. I'd not long since come back from there when writing this which was of course the inspiration.

Haha I've been in the position of both Lily and Alice/Ivy so I could understand lily bit also sympathised with the other two. I'm glad you liked lily as a character though, that means a lot. When I wrote this I was just testing the three girls out as characters for a novel I wanted to do with them.

Again, thank you. I'm glad the description was good... Italy is so beautiful that taking it all in is hard and I wanted to try and do it justice. I'm glad you liked the facts too!!

Aww I had to et a little bit of Arthur in there... Glad you liked!!

Thank you so much for stopping by with such a wonderful review. It was really promising to see you like the characters so much especially!!

Thanks for swapping :)

Lauren :)


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Review #4, by Erised Ancient Wonder

24th July 2013:
Lauren! How I haven't reviewed this yet is beyond me but I'm here now! :)

I thought this was a lovely entry for the House Cup! What immediately jumped out at me was how well you described the settings. It was easy to imagine the three exactly where they were even though I've never been to Italy. You even went into detail with things like 'the cool metal of the container', which really brought the whole thing to life and it felt as if you were standing right next to them experiencing the same thing. Devil's in the detail!

I really like Lily, Alice and Ivy too. They each had their own established personalities but also worked together well as a group - Lily as the leader of sorts, Alice the complainer and Ivy as the laid back type. They all worked really well together and it was nice to see how much they cared for each other as friends too.

Can I also say that your attention to detail with the historical knowledge of Italy was also excellent? It added an extra layer of authenticity to the whole story and it was just perfectly done - not too much or too little of it. Fun fact - the Colosseum, a public monument, was built on Nero's private lake... maybe that's how they got the water in!

Great entry Lauren, I loved reading it!

Jenny :)

Author's Response: Hi Jenny!

Thank so much for stopping by to read this!

I'm glad the descriptions worked well. I've recently been to Rome myself which is where the inspiration for this came really.

I'm so happy you like the three girls! I kind of used this story as a test run of sorts and so to know you liked them makes me so happy!

As I said earlier - I've recently been to Italy and was amazed by all the fun facts I learnt so it was fun finding ways to weave them into the story. I didn't actually know that fact! Maybe I could try and add it...

Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such a lovely review! I appreciate it!

Lauren :)


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Review #5, by Roots in Water Ancient Wonder

13th July 2013:
Hello there!

As a person interested in Ancient Rome, I very much enjoyed this one-shot! I particuarly enjoyed all of the fun facts Lily shared, and the amazement with which they were received by her friends. I will definitely agree that the Romans accomplished some pretty amazing things... But I wouldn't have wanted to see the animal fights either. :P

I also enjoyed how you set the stage, time wise. The manner in which you incorporated references to her grandfather, the one and only Mr Arthur Weasley, straight from the start made it clear to me that this was not Lily I but rather Lily II. Hermione's trick with the water bottle was great - I wish I had the same thing on my own vacations... Or even just when I was out for a walk. It's a pain when your water bottle finishes before you do. :P

I think that you did a great job with your characterization. The comeraderie between Lily and her friends was plain to see and the differences in their levels of enthusiasm were amusing (particularly since I've been in both their position and Lily's before). I've even done the same thing as Lily did: a little white lie about how much further there was to go in order to encourage my group to keep on traveling to my destination of choice.

Your description was also great! Lily's enthusiasm and admiration of the sights came across well in her descriptions of the streets and buildings of Rome and I could quite easily picture her enjoying the sights that there are to experience.

As a sort of side note, I'm interested to know who Alice's parents are. Was she named as a sort of tribute to Neville's mom? (that is, if she's Neville and Hannah's daughter, of course).

All in all, I think that you did a fantastic job with this piece. I really enjoyed reading it! Great work! :D

Author's Response: Hello!

Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving such a lovely review!

I visited Rome myself recently and was amazed by all the things I learnt! They were pretty awesome people if you ignore the whole animal fighting and gladiators killing each other for entertainment...

Haha I would love a water bottle like that too! Even though it was the perfect oppertunity to mention Arthur anyway, I felt it was important for the reader to know which Lily was on the holiday.

I'm glad you like the girls - particularly Lily and her enthusiasm. I think we may have all done the little white lie thing. Sometimes people need extra encouragement.

Alice is Neville and Hannah's daughter and yes names after Neville's mum. I've got more planned with the three girls - this was kind of like a test run for me with them but you're very perseptive - picking up on Alice being Neville's daughter.

Thank you so much for a lovely review!

Lauren :)


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Review #6, by ohmymerlin Ancient Wonder

13th July 2013:
Hey, Lauren!

This was so interesting! I loved the tiny little facts you put in and then added to with magical ideas! That's so clever!

I've never been to Italy (sadly) but my mum went last year and she said that it was absolutely boiling, so good work on being accurate! And through the way you wrote the heat, I could feel it as well (even though it's currently freezing) so good work on that!

I loved Lily's enthusiasm, she definitely inherited that from Arthur! ;)

I quite liked Ivy and Alice as well, they seemed like a good bunch of friends to have. :)

Overall, I really enjoyed this one-shot! Good work! :D

10/10

- Kayla. :)

Author's Response: Hi Kayla :)

I'm so happy you found this interesting! Adding in the facts was particularly fun for me.

I've just been to Italy myself which is where the inspiration for this actually came from. I'm glad I did the descriptions well though.

Lily's enthusiasm was so cool to write but when you're going around Rome, I'd find it hard not to be so excitable!

Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review! I really appreciate it!

Lauren :)


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Review #7, by typewriter Ancient Wonder

13th July 2013:
This was very well written and captivating in your descriptions of the colleseum! The line "Walking into the arena, she felt like she could almost hear a roaring crowd, shouting and jeering, wanting to see a good show" was superb. I felt like I was with Lily in that moment, hearing the whispers of an older time. There are places like that in the world, really old places, that you can just feel the presence of those who were there before you. I'm sure Greece is filled with it! Also, I loved your little details, such as saying Lily appreciated Grandpa's love of all things Muggle. It was nice to hear a bit about Arthur.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving such a lovely review! I'm glad you thoght I did the descriptions justice. I totally agree with you there though - I think both Greece and Egypt would be the same!

Thank you again for stopping by!

Lauren :)


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Review #8, by BluebirdBrigade Ancient Wonder

13th July 2013:
Hello! Here for the Review-a-thon!

This entry for the travel themed prompt was really awesome and full of originality. I haven't seen many entries where it is a bunch of friends on holiday and you did just that. What's great about yours is that your story is so realistic and I can really imagine it being a part of a book where the characters decide to go off together to escape their problems and the world and just have fun. It really fits with the summer aspect too.

For me, it was a really great read. It's nice to see they haven't bitten each others heads off even if they do get annoyed about the crazy walking distance that Lily puts them through but I especially liked this because I'm going on a small holiday with some friends and have done in the past so I felt like I could relate to this. I loved the detail you put into the whole story with the Colliseum. You blended actual facts with wizarding stories which was really cool and it seemed like something that J.K.R would do and has done in the past.

I love the way the girls are with each other and there are moments of humour and moments when it just looks like the perfect holiday. It seems to happy, it was really lovely to read about. Until you mentioned Aunt Hermione, I had no idea it was Next Gen Lily rather than Marauders Lily. You threw me off with her best friend being Alice ahaha! I love how girls are actually quite nurturing and caring over one another and that came across well in this story too.

This was such a great story, I really liked how you interpreted the travel theme and your characters in the story were adventurous and had a hunger for the knowledge of the world. I loved the descriptions you brought to the story and you have a real knack at gaining the readers attention and focus more and more as they delve further into the story. I saw absolutely no grammar or spelling errors and it was just a really great read! Well done, fellow Gryffie :P

Maz x

Author's Response: Hi Maz!

Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving such a lovely review! I will try and pick myself up off the floor so I can respond!

The idea for the story came from past holidays with friends where there can be quite different dynamics in the group but you just kind of get on with everyone despite it so I'm really happy you picked up on that!

You've actually blown me away with the JK comment. Wow - thanks! I'm glad my little fun facts worked that way!

I was worried that people would get confused which is why I mentioned both Arthur and Hermione to hopefully make it as clear as possible. The reason her best friend is called Alice is because in my own head canon that's Nevilles daughter. I did have a reason for using these three though - it was a test run for them so to speak.

Gosh - thank you again for all your lovely comments and just this whole amazing review. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!

Lauren :)



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Review #9, by maskedmuggle Ancient Wonder

13th July 2013:
Hey!

I really enjoyed reading about Lily, Alice and Ivy's little adventure in Rome, particularly in their visit to the Colosseum! I've actually been there once, but I didn't get to go inside but reading about it still brought about a sense of amazement. I also loved that bit about the "naumachias" they did - I've never heard of them before and even looked them up to read more about it. It sounded really interesting - and I loved how you incorporated magic with the wizard Idrico Lacrimare!

I liked how energetic and enthusiastic Lily was and how they travelled around almost like muggles with the map. I also liked the other touches of magic that was mentioned in this story - clever ideas! - such as the guide book for wizards on travelling in muggle areas, and Aunt Hermione's flask with the clever charms placed onto it. Overall, I found this to be a well written story, and I felt like I was traveling right alongside with them :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2013 Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hi Charlotte!

Thank you so much for stopping by!

I hadn't actually heard of them either - I found it out when I was checking I had all my facts right! It's really interesting though. I'm glad you liked all the touches of magic, it was fun to add them in.

Just thank you so much for this lovely review! I really appreciate it!

Lauren :)


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Review #10, by ATLpaintingflowers Ancient Wonder

12th July 2013:
I love the setting, I've always wanted to go to Rome. Your use of vocabulary was really good too, good vocabulary definitely makes a story, and makes it more appealing to the reader, and it definitely made it very appealing to me. I loved your characterisation. It was very believable, and the characters weren't overdone. They were relatable and funny. Anyways I had fun reading this.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a lovely review! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!

Lauren :)


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Review #11, by nott theodore Ancient Wonder

11th July 2013:
Hey Lauren!

I know I already read this, but I couldn't resist popping along to leave you a review!

I really enjoyed reading this story the first time and it was actually even better the second. I love Lily's character so much; she's feisty and intelligent, and her enthusiasm is so infectious, even through a page (or screen, in this case). Ivy and Alice kind of balanced her out, and I really liked their characters too. Even though they seemed exhausted and nowhere near as enthusiastic as Lily, they're still really interested and enjoying their holiday.

I'm so jealous of this trip to Rome! I thought you worked in all the facts about the Colosseum really well. It could have just been a list, which would have been boring, but they were very engaging and I was interested all the way through. Lily was actually doing something quite similar to what I tend to do, reading all the facts from a guide book!

I loved some of the little details that you included in this one-shot, which really helped bring it to life. The flask that Hermione had given Lily was brilliant - when I read it I automatically thought that it was a very Hermione thing to do. I also like the idea of the travel guide shop in Diagon Alley, and Arthur sharing his muggle artefacts with his grandchildren.

The writing was really compelling, and I loved the plot and characters - go Gryffindor!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!

You're so sweet - thank you for leaving me such a lovely review once again!

Haha Lily's enthusiasm was so easy to write just from personal experience. Rome is so easy to get caught up in and I like to think that's what happened here.

I'm glad the facts didn't come off as boring at all - that was one thing I was worried about. Just because I find them interesting doesn't mean everyone will.

Oh I would have loved the flask in Rome! It's so so hot over their, you constantly need a refill! I think Hermione would definitely have thought that through.

Thank you again for stopping by and leaving all your lovely thoughts for me to enjoy!

Lauren :)


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Review #12, by CambAngst Ancient Wonder

11th July 2013:
Hi, Lauren!

So I'm guessing this was motivated, at least a little, by your recent adventure? It leaves me wondering who was the Lily of your duo and who was the Alice. ;)

I loved the spark you gave Lily, the drive to see and do and explore, the boundless energy and the willingness to drag her friends along for the ride. She came across like quite the firecracker, and I'm sure she made Arthur proud. It was nice to see that he indulges his grandchildren with all of the muggle paraphernalia he collects.

Alice and Ivy -- Just had to stop myself from writing "Alice and Belle". You can tell where my brain is stuck -- balanced out Lily's character nicely. They added a bit of moderation to her exuberance, and it obviously came in handy when she was getting light-headed.

All of the facts about the Colosseum that you worked in were interesting and quite informative. Even better, they fit naturally and didn't disrupt the flow of the story at all.

Your writing was fantastic. I didn't see a single typo. Great job!

Author's Response: Hi Dan :)

You guessed correctly haha! My recent holiday was certainly the inspiration behind this. Hmm - maybe I exaggerated Alice a little compared to my own experience but I think the way Lily was feeling was very much taken from how I actually felt.

I'm really glad you liked the characters (I know what you mean about the Alice and Belle/Ivy problem - the next gen characters are so stuck in my head though I can't change them) I actually used this challenge as a bit of a test run for them as I have bigger plans for the three of them if all works out well.

Haha, I'm glad you found my fun facts useful. I've bored everyone else with them so I decided to share with the HPFF community :) I'm just glad they weren't out of place!

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a lovely review!

Lauren :)


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