Reading Reviews for Follow Me Down
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Harveyboy Follow Me Down

18th July 2013:
Such a wonderful story...I read it twice...so original and imaginative I really enjoyed this story.even though your story began so sad and emotional... I love your happy ending

Author's Response: Harveyboy,
Oh, thank you. I wasn't sure if anyone was going to read or review this story since it is not a popular pairing. It's actually quite rare to see Rosmerta in anything. :)

As you are well aware, I love writing sad stories that end in a potential for happiness, even after a great storm. I'm a sad optimist, I suppose. Which makes me completely mental. LOL!

Thank you so much for reviewing so much. You've been so encouraging.

Much appreciated,
Dark Whisper


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Review #2, by ohmymerlin Follow Me Down

13th July 2013:
Hi!

This piece was just so lovely and heart-warming. You wrote it really nicely with just the right amount of angst and fluff. :')

I hardly ever see any stories on Rosmerta, it's nice seeing one! Especially when they are as good as this one!

I loved the lyrics that Jaxson wrote, they're very warm and nice. Did you make them up yourself? Because if so, you should become a song writer as well as a novelist! :p

I loved the delicacy in the story as well, it was strung together really nicely and made a sort of harmonious feel to it.

I also enjoyed Jayden's personality, he was a real gentleman and was a genuinely nice guy. He was a very interesting character.

Overall, I enjoyed this poignant piece! You did a really good job with it!

- Kayla. :)

Author's Response: ohmymerlin,

Oh, thank you so much for checking out my story and reviewing! It is much appreciated.

Yes, this story was very much a mixture of angst and fluff. I tend to write sad stories with a little bit of hope at the end.

And Rosmerta is definitely not written about much. I was trying to go for some originality points, but really, I enjoyed coming up with a back story for her and dig deeper into what she would've been like.

You liked Jaxson lyrics? Yes, those are mine, cut down for TOS. We're only allowed 4 lines of poetry, even if they are our own. ;( I wanted it to be a bit more, but had to delete it. Oh, well, happy that you liked it though. :)

Thanks so much for the detailed review. It is very nice of you to comment.

Much appreciated,
Dark Whisper


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Review #3, by Roots in Water Follow Me Down

13th July 2013:
Hello there!

Wow- this is such an original story. I really enjoyed reading this story- I think that you did a great job with your characterization, your description... Everything, really.

To begin, I really liked the idea for this story. There aren't too many stories centered around Rosmerta, but she's an interesting character in her own right. And to learn more about her (potential) past was fascinating. You did a good job of mixing in her memories of the past with her actions in the present.

The town she's from sounds charming, though our viewing of it was tainted by the sadness of Rosmerta's loss. I found the mystery of the wishing well quite interesting. Although it could be considered cheating, at least Jaxson didn't use it to do any harm. Instead, he used it as confirmation of his own feelings, and I can't begrudge him that. I'm also glad that Jayden didn't reveal its secret to Rosmerta. Like he thought, it would have ruined some of the memories for her.

Rosmerta's relationship with Jaxson, and her relationships with the other members of his family, were very well written. The manner in which you described them gave them a complexity that is very true to life. Although I wished that you'd have written in more of her interactions with Jaxson, so that we could better see what their relationship was like when he was alive (like why did he leave it so long before returning to get her?), you did a great job of describing everything within the word count.

The change in her relationship with Jayden was very interesting, particularly because it was a brother falling in love with his (long dead) brother's fiancee. However, you made it feel natural.

As well, I also really liked your description. It made everything come alive and your manner of writing really suited the tone of the story.

I did notice a few typos as I was reading and I thought I'd point them out. To begin, with the phrase "spending the better part", I think it would flow smoother if you added "after" before "spending". As well, with "the first to speak", should it be "first two"? And with "he dare not", I believe it should be "dared".

All in all, I think that you did a fantastic job with this one-shot. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Great work! :D

Author's Response: Roots in Water,

Thank you dearly for taking a chance on this story and for leaving this wonderful, in-depth review! Wow. It is hard to know how to respond...

Yes, Rosmerta is quite a minor character and there isn't much written about her. My mother-in-law owned her own restaurant for years and I was always perplexed with the amount of work she had to do to keep it going. You have to be smart and work hard. It is not for the weak. To, me, Rosmerta needed to fit the personality. :)

Also, many men fancied her, which tells me she probably wasn't without offers over the years. :)

Oh, I'm so glad you liked the town and it's 'magical' wishing well. Yes, it was certainly cheating, but they did not use it for harm. And Jayden is a good fellow to not mention it. :)

Thanks for mentioning the interactions with family. In real life, we all might not agree with what to do when someone dies. People deal with grief differently. Thanks so much for thinking it was realistically written.

And oh, that word count! I struggled and butchered many details to try to get the word count down, down, down. Ugh! It was grueling and a true challenge to cut precious moments/feelings/scenes.

And thank you for saying that it felt natural. Falling in love with a brother's former love would be awkward and feelings would be restrained, perhaps never revealed.

You give me wonderful compliments to me as a writer. I really appreciate it very much.

And thanks for pointing out a few things to work on. :)

Thank you sincerely,
Dark Whisper


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Review #4, by LittleLionGirl Follow Me Down

12th July 2013:
Oh my word. This story is unbelievable; in a good way. I have never ever thought of the Three Broomsticks owner in any other way before. You completely opened my eyes to a whole other back story that I could have missed!
XOXOX,
LLG

Author's Response: LittleLionGirl,
Hello there... In using the Three Broomsticks owner, I was trying to be a little different in choosing a minor character to write about. I tend to write sad, emotional stories and this one seemed to flow and be a heartfelt reason to leave and travel somewhere. The hardest part of writing this was editing it down to 5000 words. That was so hard! :) Thank you so much for taking a chance with it and for your kind words. Much appreciated...
Dark Whisper


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Review #5, by SilentConfession Follow Me Down

12th July 2013:
this is an absolutely stunning story. I absolutely loved the tone of your writing and the slightly whimsical feel of the tale. With the wishing well, the flowers, the songs, poems, - it really gave the whole thing a really beautiful feeling to it and made it seem more bittersweet. I found myself sad for Rosemerta for being so attached to her first love and not being to let go of him. This whole story seemed like a self journey as well as she finally left the one place she'd always been and as her journey continued her memories also came and it seemed to bring her comfort and closure.

Rosmerta was really well written as well and i liked her characterization. Her hard working spirit, and the way your wrote her sadness. It seemed to permeate even her actions at times, especially at the beginning she had this air of acceptance that she'd never be quite happy.

The only thing i'd have liked to see is why she felt attracted to the brother. A little more lead in with that might have made it flow a little more clearer so that it didn't feel like she was replacing Jax with Jay. But honestly that's such a nitpicky thing and the rest of the one-shot was really nice. You're tone of writing is really lovely and makes it easy to get lost in your writing and in the story itself. It was perfectly described as i felt like i could get a good image of her surroundings and yet i didn't feel like there was a description overload either. So great job with that!

Good work with this!

Author's Response: SilentConfession,

Oh, thank you for your lovely review of this heart-breaking, but hopeful story. You point out so many things, it is hard to know what to say.

Yes, this story was meant to be heart-felt with a bit of whimsy and magic, but with hope in the end.

Yes, Rosmerta was attached to her love, very attached. I think the pub really took over her life and she found a certain peace in continuing the dream.

I'm so glad that you like her characterization. She is not written about too often and as a business owner, I feel that she would have to very intelligent. And yes, she has loved and lost and learned how to live with the hurt. ;(

I agree, I should've said more of their differences so that it wouldn't seem that he was just a replacement, but the word count wouldn't allow it. I had to cut and cut and cut it down. It was painful to do and I felt like I was butchering it, but it had to be done for the competition.

Thank you so much for your in-depth and wonderful review.

From my heart,
Thank you,
Dark Whisper



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Review #6, by BluebirdBrigade Follow Me Down

12th July 2013:
Hello there!

Gryffindor reporting for reviewing duty! This was such a gorgeous one shot and really unique to the whole travel theme. It was very bitter sweet because Rose was travelling because she wanted some belongings from her late fiancé but then she managed to find companionship and perhaps love in his brother. I really liked this, I loved the way you described how weird this journey she was making was because she'd never left the pub due to her attachment to it and the memories it holds.

I like the way you characterised Rose, I have seen her portrayed as a bimbo in so many stories but your interpretation of her is so realistic and faithful to the story. I'm glad to see her as a woman who has see the good and bad of the world and has experienced love and loss. I liked the way you incorporated the whole wishing well element to the story and the mystery surrounding that and also how sweet Jaxson is with his songs which made me feel all the more upset that he'd died albeit heroically. Jayden seems just as sweet too. I really enjoyed this, it was so lovely and very emotional - I felt both sad and happy for Rose by the end of the story, it totally struck me in the feels. As CC I would have liked to see just a little bit more of a difference between Jayden and Jaxson to show that Rose doesn't just like Jayden for his similarities to his brother but also because of his differences otherwise I feel like she's just replacing him with Jayden but that might be your goal, I dunno. Either way - I ADORE this fanfic. Love it's originality and saw absolutely no spelling or grammar errors, just good job overall!

Maz x

Author's Response: BluebirdBrigade,

Well, hello there and thank you so much for taking a chance and reviewing my story for the House Cup.

You give me many beautiful compliments and I appreciate it so much.

Yes, Rosmerta is not accustomed to leaving the Three Broomsticks, but she leaves because of her love being given to her after all that time. ;(

My mother-in-law actually owned her own restaurant for years and so, I know that it takes a very smart woman to own her own pub, not a bimbo. A busy successful business requires brains to run it. So, I appreciate you mentioning that.

And yes, she has seen a lot... love and loss. And I'm so glad you liked the wishing well. I try to put a magical element in each of my stories, after all, this is the HP universe. :)

And I agree, I should've brought out the differences in the two brothers so that she wouldn't see him as a replacement. But I must say the word count killed me. It was a struggle to keep editing down, down, down. I actually had to cut quite a bit.

In using a minor character, I was trying for some originality points, but in the end it was fun to give her a back story and some depth to an otherwise unknown. :)

Anyway, thank you dearly for your in-depth, unexpected review. It is much appreciated.

Sincerely,
Dark Whisper


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