Reading Reviews for A Traitor is Amoung Us
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ginnyharrypotter1 More questions then Answers

6th January 2014:
the story was good but update quickly the next chapter.. please

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it. Sorry for the delay with the next chapter. Life has been a little messy for a while, but the final chapter is almost done and I'll put it up for validation soon. Thank you for your patience.

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Review #2, by Ron 4 Hermione Is it a Betrayal?

16th July 2013:
Woops, so I was wrong :L

Poor Noah though, that must be heart breaking, to have his baby girl taken from him and he's had to go behind his best friends back, and Harry's back too! I hope he's not punished, or at least not too harshly!

I loved Harry's sneaking around, it links nicely to well, every year at Hogwarts :P Maybe not every year but it fits his character!

Another great chapter, but I wonder who exactly took his baby girl? The neo death eaters?

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Review #3, by Ron 4 Hermione Without a trace

16th July 2013:
Oh I hope it's not Noah, Teddy will be devastated! I loved the paragraph about Harry almost not putting his name on though, it really showed that Harry is loyal and I thought it was a really nice touch!

I still can't believe he's been suspended, poor Harry but I did like him sending everything he needed to number 12, neat trick. One little piece of advice though, most numbers are written out fully, so it would read number twelve, not 12.

I didn't like that Carr person, maybe just because it was said he and Harry didn't like each other, but he's a good character- I wonder if he's a neo death eater?

Another great chapter! :)

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Review #4, by Ron 4 Hermione To fear again

16th July 2013:
Aha, trust Mr Wealsey to have a bus!

Oh god, I hope no one gets seriously hurt, and these neo death eaters are caught. Loving the name by the way! I like the idea of them going away each year, it sounds like such fun- all the Weasleys/potters away together, probably never a dull moment

Another great chapter, just the same advice as before; dialogue and sentence starters but you've got a really strong story going! :)

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Review #5, by Ron 4 Hermione Chaos on all fronts

16th July 2013:
Nice cliffhanger, I wonder what's wrong with James! What an interesting start though, this sounds like the set up for a great story!

I love your characterisation of the Harry, especially the part where he has to stop himself saying hell in front of the kids. Also the kids seem really close, I like there little adventures that they got up too!

I do have a little bit of advice, each time a new person speaks it's generally on a new line and also you should try to vary the start of your paragraphs, all but two start with Harry!

It's still a good story though, you've got some lovely descriptions in and I could just imagine Harry walking home and having to deal with all that.

A great start, off to read the next chapter now! :)

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