Reading Reviews for Hating You Is What I Know
  
53 Reviews Found

Review #1, by free elf 25 Pain

19th March 2014:
This is super-uber good, but no updates? Why?

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Review #2, by Lobellia Sackville-Baggins Pain

27th January 2014:
I really, truly hope you continue this story. I love your characters and your interpretations of JKR's loose ends. This story has the potential to be amazing, and I really, truly look forward to reading more!

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Review #3, by Sarah Pain

23rd October 2013:
Update soon please !!

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Review #4, by Leannadrobisforever Pain

14th October 2013:
The chapter was amazing and you finally updated. But still please update soon this time.

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Review #5, by TheWizardingPorcupine Understanding

6th October 2013:
I really like this story, it's so. It's one of the few srptories that portray Hufflers in a good light. Refreshing really. Evie is so funny and sarcastic, brave and smart, yet you cacompletely see when she's a Puff. Alex is a great character too.
Please don't abandon this story, it's way too good to be put down.
Happy Writing!

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Review #6, by Shadownhunter Understanding

17th September 2013:
I really love this story! Please keep writing! You are really awesome, and I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks. I am going to add next chapter soon :)

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Review #7, by WottersAreHotter Understanding

8th September 2013:
Ooh I'm really liking the plot for the story! Just a question..Does Evie know that Al and James are brothers??
And also just a thought: I think Roxy's full name is Roxanne, not Roxanna! :)

Author's Response: I am happy that you like it, Right now, she doesn't but in next chapter she would. Thanks for Roxy thing, i got it wrong.

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Review #8, by Lululuna Git Brother and Sorting

23rd August 2013:
Hi there! I'm finally here for the review you requested ages ago, and I'm so sorry for taking this long. RL has been trampling all over me, but finally here now! :)

First of all, I think your story is still progressing naturally and flowing well. I like how you've so far divided the chapters into important moments of a first year, like leaving the house to go to Hogwarts, being on the Hogwarts Express, and finally the Sorting Ceremony. Evie is a great character, and I feel like I've gotten to know her a bit better. Her little observations and asides in italics really help get a good sense of her voice. Her sassiness towards the Sorting Hat was quite entertaining as well. The sibling relationship seemed very sweet, and typical of the brother-sister relationship. :)

It's interesting how Evie actually wants to be in Slytherin, considering she is a Muggleborn. I suppose it's a mark of how the wizarding world has changed and is hopefully more open-minded in the next generation, although hopefully Evie has a better reason for wanting to be in Slytherin besides green being her favourite colour! I have a hint about where she will be Sorted from your summary, and I'm curious as to how she will react to it. I'm guessing being in that house is a big part of the story, so it's interesting how you will run with that. I also wonder where her new friends will be Sorted, and how that will affect Evie's growing friendships with them.

A suggestion that occurred to me while reading this is that you might consider fleshing out the dialogue with more description. For example, when you say that the sight of Hogwarts is like nothing Evie has ever seen before, you could add in some observations that she has about what makes it so spectacular. I think having more descriptive paragraphs would make the story a little more rounded, and make the dialogue stand out a little more. :)

I was a little confused about why Evie blamed James Potter for why she was angry with her brother, suggesting that they have some sort of history. Also, she didn't seem to recognize Al at all, even though he is James' brother. I'm sure you'll clear these details up in following chapters, but it's something to think about.

There are a few sentences in which the flow is a little disrupted or which come across a little awkwardly. For example, the sentence "Your upbringing has taught that or should I say you have learned it by your own. But you have courage, a strong Gryffindor you would make like your brother," might sound better as "Your upbringing with your mother has taught you compassion, or perhaps you have learnt it on your own. But you have courage, and would make a strong Gryffindor like your brother." It might help to read sentences out loud after writing them and fixing anything that feels awkward or any mistakes that you missed by reading it: that's what I usually do with my stories, and it's very helpful! :) Also, I think you could do without the last line altogether, since it seemed a bit unnecessary. Perhaps ending the chapter- and slight cliffhanger - on the line "I waited as my future was decided." would be more effective, at least in my opinion! :)

I hope this review was helpful and enjoyable, and I'm very sorry again at the long delay! You do have a good start here, so good luck and keep writing! :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
I am really happy that you liked the main character.
I would definitely try to add more descriptions next time and thanks for the little suggestions that you have given.

To clear your confusion, Evie have ever met James but she knows him because her brother talked a lot about him. She's jealous of him as to her it looks like her brother enjoys the company of James more than her now. As she never had many friend, her brother was the oly she had ad ow she feels like James has stolen her friend and brother form her.

It's really helpful and it's okay. :)


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Review #9, by handknittedsweaters Meeting Malfoys

18th August 2013:
Hi there! It's Lemonpeeps with your review you requested ages and ages ago. To be honest I forgot about this thread because I hadn't gone on the forums or HPFF for a very long time. And then I remembered but then it was time to go to college so things got pushed off again. So here I am and I've going to write you a review

Maybe it's because I'm jumping into the story in the second chapter but I really did't have any idea what was going on in the chapter. I can see that you're trying to start with a good hook but I think you should have the hook and then BOOM right into setting up the context of the chapter. That will help the reader enjoy the chapter better because they won't be wondering what's going on.

Secondly, I thought the dialog was a little choppy, maybe add some more context about what the characters are doing and what's going on and the setting is during the dialog like: "Don't listen to him, it's a beautiful name," the woman said with a smile, patting my back as she walked around to stand next to her husband.

Does that kind of make sense?

Over all the flow of the chapter went well and I really like how you captured the voice of Ollivander, that was really good!

I hope this is what you were looking for and again I'm really sorry I got to you so late. Cheers!!

ox,
lemonpeeps

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
I really do't know what to reply but I guess I would try to do better next time. May be add a hook :)
It's not a big deal(delay), it's okay :)


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Review #10, by StellaRose Understanding

16th August 2013:
No, I hate cliff hangers! Lol. Well, anyways, good job on this chapter--you certainly have me wanting to read on to find out about James!

Quick cc, maybe go back and re-read your chapter outloud. I didn't really notice any spelling errors but a few sentences could have been worded better or were confusing.

Besides that, great job! Can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :)

I'm actually doing the editing while responding you. BTW Thanks for that.
I will try to update soon.


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Review #11, by Ashley Lovegood Understanding

15th August 2013:
AH I love this so far! Just wondering- is the story going to follow Evie all through Hogwarts or what?

Author's Response: It's going to be, and there will be a big surprise in the next two chapter. :)

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Review #12, by Harry Understanding

15th August 2013:
OI! YOU END IT THERE?!?!

Author's Response: I know but wait for the next chapter, it will have a big surprise. I promise.

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Review #13, by Leannadrobisforever Understanding

15th August 2013:
Oh please update soon

Author's Response: I will in few days. Thanks for the review :)

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Review #14, by Harry Proud Of My House

15th August 2013:
HAH. 30 points for Huffelpuff Slytherin and Ravenclaw. Oh and Gryffindor. DUH.

Author's Response: Wow, I like that too.

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Review #15, by Harry Git Brother and Sorting

15th August 2013:
NO!!! YOU STOP THE CHAPTER THERE???!! OI!!!

Author's Response: Sorry, but that's what makes the waiting interesting. ;)

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Review #16, by Harry Meeting Malfoys

15th August 2013:
i love this chapter. just...love it

Author's Response: Thanks. I am happy you liked it.

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Review #17, by Harry The Beginning

15th August 2013:
wha??? what was that?? im so confused. but in a good way

Author's Response: Why are you confused? but I am happy that it's in a good way :)

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Review #18, by Fonzzx Understanding

15th August 2013:
Brilliant. I've been waiting for James :D

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I was waiting for James to be introduced too. :)

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Review #19, by MadiMalfoy The Beginning

27th July 2013:
Hello, MadiMalfoy here with your requested review! :)

To start, the plot is actually very well done. I think that even with all the description and background information, there is still enough going on to balance that out. Obivously, these are your own original characters, so the fact you tied them in to Alex becoming best friends with James Sirius Potter is great and helps get the era right as well! Since it is only the first chapter, the pace isn't bad at all and it flows very nicely; it reads like her thoughts and actions.

As for characterization, I can only say bravo to how you have James--he is canonical! Evie, Alex, and their mother are your original characters though, so I will only say that they are great so far and I think you have a great opportunity to do some great character development not only for Evie, but also for Alex later on.

You have just a few grammar/spelling errors here and there that interrupt the continuity and flow of the chapter, but they aren't that big of a problem! It still flows well and is consistent. Good job, please feel free to re-request! :)
~MadiMalfoy xx

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.

I have tried my hard to describe the characters and even let few things be mystery so that the plot remains interesting.

Alex and Evie are more dependent on each other but they give each other the space needed so that they could have their own life too. I have plans for both of them and would try my hard to show it.

I would surely request again :)


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Review #20, by marauderfan Proud Of My House

17th July 2013:
Hello! here's marauderfan with your requested review! Since you didn't list any particular areas of concern I'll just list some things I thought while reading.

Poor Evie, being unhappy with her sorting. It can be hard especially at that age to be different to what people expect of you, so I understand her being worried about it. (It must have been even harder for Albus, poor thing - with his father being famous and all that) But I'm glad Evie saw in the end that her friends didn't care about something as trivial as house sorting, that can't get in the way of friendship! And I liked that she gained pride in her house pretty soon, yay Hufflepuff!!! ;) I like seeing the friendship between Rose, Evie, Scorpius and Albus developing as well.

Oh, and I really like her name, by the way. Evangeline Feather - it sounds very Rowling-esque to me! :)

I love how different Scorpius is to how his father was during Harry's years at Hogwarts, he seems wonderful. Clearly not all Slytherins have changed though - Pansy Parkinson's daughter sounds just as awful as Pansy was!

Some things you might want to go back and check: In the paragraph when Evie and Alice are eating breakfast, Rose comes to sit at the table. But she's a Gryffindor. Is she just sitting with them for fun, or does Hogwarts of the future not use House tables anymore? Also, there are some grammar/syntax issues throughout the chapter, which would be good to clear up.

Good work on this chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
I am really sorry that I forgot to write about the area of concern :(
Well, Evie always dreamed of becoming a Slytherin, and now she is in Hufflepuff where was the least expected house, well she was bound to be sad. But i think, she is coming up with the idea of being a Hufflepuff.

Al, being a Slytherin for him, was new and well, he wanted to be different from his family. Wait for the reaction of his family, specially James.


Aw, thanks it's a big compliment, thanks. *blush*

Scorpius is one of my fav character and well, I wanted people to see that Draco had learned his lesson and wanted really to redeem himself and his family.

I am going to do a recheck as soon as I have some time.

Hope you review again :)


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Review #21, by LoonyLovegood11 Proud Of My House

14th July 2013:
Loving the story so far, good job.
Thought you might want to read over it again as some of the sentences don't make sense or have words missing from them, an easy mistake that re-reading can fix.
Other than that I really like the story, and at the moment I have quite a fond spot for Alice. She's so sweet. And it's refreshing to read a story about a sarcastic hufflepuff.
Keep up the good work. Please update soon xx

Author's Response: Thanks for liking the story and I really appreciate the compliment.

I am going to read it again and would edit soon. I have shown Alice more as Neville in behavior before he matured or should I say became the brave guy he is now.

A sarcastic Hufflepuff was the idea I want to show, to tell that being in a house doesn't change the personality or individuality of that person.

Thanks for the review, :)


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Review #22, by MC_HK Proud Of My House

14th July 2013:
I like the house pride in here. I myself had never thought much of Hufflepuff until you kind of proved me otherwise. I very much like the group dynamic between Evie, Scorpius, and Albus. They have a distinct relationship which helps me predict how they might act in the future. You definitely don't have any flat characters, as all of their personalities are boldy in-your-face.

Right off the bat I can tell you I can identify a few punctuation errors, such as they are placed in the wrong areas and some are used improperly. I can also say there are some areas that need certain punctuation. I strongly believe if you read through this very carefully, you'll find the errors I'm talking about. Not too big of a deal, but the beta reader in me was going nuts lol. There are also a couple areas that I see tense problems, but those are far and few between. Overall, I just think you need a beta reader for these issues, or you need to read over your story again very carefully, paying attention to how the punctuation and sentence length affects the general flow of your writing.

You still have a good chapter here, I would just like to see some tidying up :) Have a great day, as always, MC_HK

Author's Response: Thanks for liking the story and your review :)
First of all, I like Slytherin myself but I wanted her to be a Hufflepuff to show that they are not behind any other house.

Well, they are bold because they have been exposed all their life as there parents are war heroes. Its expected of them to be like that. While I have tried to show some people bold while other shy like Alice.

While I have tried to show characters differently and having certain different features too.

I am trying to look for a bet and I think i have got one ;) and I hope his working would help me.


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Review #23, by Elphaba and Boyfriends Git Brother and Sorting

11th July 2013:
Hi Elphaba here with your requested review! I like that you don't depict the Malfoys as snobs in this story. Draco seems to have learned his lesson from the second Wizarding War, and passed it down to his son.

I like Evie and Scorpio's conversation about the sorting hat, but I thought there was some unnecessary repetition in this action that confused me a little. This italicized sentence, "I am talking about the sorting hat here," could be removed to clean it up a bit.

Grammar-wise, I found a few little errors here and there. For instance, the word "the" is sometimes missing from in front of nouns. The other item I thought I'd point out is this sentence: "And it makes me sad that my brother loves me so less that he easily forgets me." I think the word "little" would work better than "less" in this instance.

I like the gentle teasing between Evie and her brother Alex on this chapter. You do a good job of showing that they care for each other despite occasionally driving each other crazy. :)

I might get rid of this reference to OotP, "which was used for DA communiation. Dumbledore Army, duh." While they may know about the DA from history books, it just feels a little out of place, here. I think it's enough to mention the protean charm.

This aside about Hagrid's baking made me laugh: "They are not edible, unless you have vampire teeth." :)

I really like the interaction between Evie, Scorpius, Albus and Rose in the boat. I like that Evie wants everyone to get along, and that the other kids seem willing to get to know Scorpius. I also like that Neville is the deputy headmaster, with McGonagall as the headmistress. I think this is a staffing combination that could actually work well!

You end this chapter on a cliffhanger! I wonder whether she will be sorted into Slytherin like she wants? :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review:)
Firslty Draco is my fav character and he has to be good after the war, I think so.
I want to show the brother and sister bond between Alex and Evie and also the growing friendship between Scorpius and her.

The Hagrid part is also one of my favorite :D

Well for the answer you should just read next chapter which is now posted.


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Review #24, by DumbledoresArmyOfOne Git Brother and Sorting

7th July 2013:
Hi! You requested a review from me in my thread, so here I am :)
I like how you portray the brother/sister relationship between Alex and Evie. They seem really sweet. I also like the friendship developing between Scorpius and Evie. So far, all of your characters seem very likeable.

You use some good description in your story, which I'd love to see more of. I do think you could invest in a beta (just go to beta readers offered/requested in the forums and request one) as your grammar and sentence structure could use some work, and I don't think I can cover it in a review.

You sometimes leave out little words like 'the' and 'I', so maybe you could re-read the story and clean up those little mistakes.

I like how you have Evie and her new friends talking about typical eleven-year old things- it seems like something that first years would really talk about. Maybe look over your dialogue again though. Sometimes, the way your characters talk seems a little bit fake, so maybe think about what you would say in that situation, just to make the phrasing a bit more realistic.

Just as a side note, the paragraph where Evie was talking to the sorting hat was a little confusing, so maybe you could separate it so it's a little easier to read?

This is a good start, so keep writing, because practice makes perfect!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review
I really want to show a strong bond between Alex and Evie and off course a great friendship between her and Scorpius.

I have posted for a beta reader and am still waiting for a response. I hope someone helps me out.
I have separated the sorting hat talk part. I was actually waiting for the block which was placed last week.

Thanks for the appreciation, it means a lot to me. :)


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Review #25, by BookDinosaur Git Brother and Sorting

3rd July 2013:
Hey there! It's -BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

So, I like the idea of your story so far, it's pretty unique, so well done there. It was interesting to read a muggle-born getting so friendly with Scorpius so quickly, but at the same time, it made sense, it was a good way of showing (not telling!) how the Malfoy family has become more tolerant of muggleborns over the years.

I liked her little ramblings to herself (I'm assuming that's what the italics are, right?) but I do feel they got a bit confusing at times and disrupted the flow of the story a little. Also, the conversation with the Sorting Hat was interesting, but it got a bit confusing. I would suggest putting each new thought on a new line, to make it cleareer who is speaking?

My CC for you would just be to get a beta, because there were quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes that disrupted the flow of the story, and could easily be ironed out with the help of someone like a beta.

All in al, though, this was a good chapter I enjoyed reading. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
Aw, thanks and I really appreciate it.
It's just my way to show that Draco Malfoy had changed after the war and I am sure he would have, he is a good guy.
The rambling is what she says to herself.

I am looking for a beta and well, not able to get one as the one who agreed well didn't reply me back. I am going to post the request again maybe I would get someone this time.

Thanks :)


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