Reading Reviews for The Rise of the A.W.L.
  
144 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Pheonix Potioneer Caught Out.

16th December 2014:
It was Fairfax! It was Fairfax! I was thinking of students, so it never occurred to me that teachers could be up to no good as well! It was Fairfax! Once again, you have tricked me! I suppose that makes you a good writer, if I wasn't able to guess correctly. But I could have guessed this one... it's so obvious!

Wow, Rose's fever has really unfortunate timing. I hate it when that happens. I hardly ever get sick, but last year I got sick and had to miss a trip to Atlanta- with no refunds. I was so mad at myself for getting a 102 (fahrenheit) fever.

Was Rose's fever a coincidence? Did someone purposely make her sick, perhaps? Interesting.

FINALLY there's a story that recognizes the easiness of the pensieve! It's annoying when I read a Harry Potter fanfiction, and the main character doesn't know how to prove they are telling the truth, and they don't even think about the pensieve. If there was an explanation of why they can't use one, I'd be satisfied with that, but most people don't even acknowledge it... So congratulations to you!

I presume Fairfax will be leaving at the end of this year. This was Fairfax's first year, wasn't it? Maybe there's a curse on the Potions position like there was for the DADA position for many years...

I wonder how Blackburn will react. It will certainly rattle her. The person who is partially responsible for her health was conspiring against her all year... that would scare anyone. Poor, poor Blackburn. Do you have to torture her any more?

I wonder why Fairfax needs Dora. Any particular reason, or just because Dora is a student? Curious.

As to regards for the last review- Yes, I did mean Fairfax when I typed Fawley. Professor Fawley is a character in mine, who is also the Potions Master. I doesn't help that their names are similar.

It looks like this is nearing the end of the story, about. Seems like it, anyway. How many chapters are left?

Great twist!

Author's Response: I actually went back and forth between wondering if it was too obvious - new teacher, person with easiest access to potion, a lot of stuff simply being taken at his word - and wondering if it was too obscure - very few clues of the type I included in the last story. There were some things like the fact that that whole thing about him leaving the door unlocked and somebody slipping in was, as you pretty much pointed out reviewing the last chapter, VERY hit and miss, and really more likely to fail than succeed. And the fact NOBODY saw ANY indication of somebody approaching the office. And the whole invisibility deal earlier. Of course, somebody COULD have used Instant Invisibility Powder or an Invisibility Cloak, but it was also possible it's just a fully qualified and very competent witch or wizard who can make themselves invisible.

Rose's illness was just a plot device to a) have her awake when nobody else was, b) give her away to Fairfax, c) give him an excuse for trying to get her away from McGongall and d) give McGonagall a reason to doubt his version of events, as if Rose really had been dueling Dora and was lying to get out of trouble, why not just say she'd felt sick and was going to the Hospital Wing and Dora followed her and attacked her. It would be a much more convincing version and less likely to get her into trouble.

*laughs* I was debating whether or not to use the pensieve, since they rarely seem to in canon, even when it might be helpful, but it seemed like the best way to prove things.

The next chapter will give some information both about what happens to Fairfax AND how Blackburn reacts. Yeah, it's bound to come as a bit of a shock to her.

Yes, Dora's involvement... The question as to how involved she is remains up in the air, doesn't it? There will be a little more about that.

That's kind of funny actually. I hadn't realised until your last review that we both had Potions Masters whose names began with "Fa". Yeah, it's Fairfax's first year, but before that, Slughorn was in the position for ages, so I'd wait and see what happens to the Potions teacher in the next story before making any assumptions.

I honestly don't know how many chapters are left. It's definitely coming towards the end, but not as close as the revelation of the villain might imply. I'd guess about another five chapters. There are still more details to come out and the revelation will have some impacts.

Thank you so much for the review. It's an awesome one.


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Review #2, by Pheonix Potioneer The Clock Strikes One.

11th December 2014:
"The Clock Strikes One". Interesting title.

It's taking all my self-will to not click "next chapter". I really want to know what happens next, but I have to theorize first!

All possibilities:
Dora is headed "towards" the dungeons- but she could be going somewhere else first. On the same level of the dungeons is the Slytherin Common room, the Hufflepuff Common Room, and the kitchens. I don't think Rose knows where any of those are, but Dora might. So Dora could be headed any of those places, although it is unlikely.

Seeming how Dora left in the middle of the night wearing a hood, I strongly doubt she doesn't have malicious purposes.

I can't help remember Abric (Is that his first name?) Fletcher stealing potion ingredients. Dora could be behind that too. It's just too much of a coincidence that both scenarios had to do with Potions. Abric and Dora could have both been stealing ingredients, and only Abric got caught. Or Abric could be mostly innocent and working under Dora's orders... Dora didn't get sick. I have a feeling Dora and Abric both are tied into this somehow. Abric is the type of kid who would take a bribe, and I'm sure Dora knows that.

I still kind of like my previous idea of Dora knocking an ingredient into the Wolfsbane Potion by mistake if she was stealing things for a different purpose.

Then, there is of course the obvious solution that Dora is purposely tampering with the Wolfsbane. As to why she's tampering with it now- Fawley wouldn't be as suspicious if she was messing with it serveral weeks before the full moon.

Now, I have a few questions. How exactly is Dora tampering with the potion? If she just threw a random ingredient in, the potion would change color or texture or something. Fawley or Blackburn should have noticed. So if Dora is the tamperer, then she must be using an ingredient that doesn't change the color, the texture, the odor, or the taste. Hmmm.

I read this chapter last night right before I went to bed, so it incorporated itself into my dreams a little... I dreamed Rose was following Dora, and then Dora walked into a sunny room and Rose found out that Dora was visiting her father who was telling her stories... And Rose and Dora became friends. I don't think that will happen, but it made me realize how much I want Dora to change. Over the course of the book I started looking underneath the bitter surface of Dora, and I realized that she's just a lonely, little girl who envies Rose and her family. Dora isn't evil, and she's young enough that she can change. I hope she changes.

Very interesting chapter! I think we're nearing the climax... *bounces excitedly*

Author's Response: You've probably already read or skimmed the next chapter, which makes some of what I'm going to say here pretty pointless, but I'm going to say it anyway. You've some good theories.

I was WONDERING if people'd consider all the places Dora could be going. Of course ROSE assumes she's heading to tamper with the potion, but I've deliberately ended the chapter at a point where that may or may not be true.

Yeah, Abric Fletcher and YES, I bet he COULD be bribed. I don't think he'd necessarily take part in something REALLY harmful, but he might well be willing to just not ask too many questions and say get Dora, or somebody else, the ingredients they want without worrying what they might use them for.

And I LOVE the theory Dora (or somebody else) might have been up to something completely different and Blackburn might just have been effected mistakenly. I think that would be the best option from Blackburn's point of view, because if somebody was targeting her deliberately, it'd make her feel even more like people hate her and are out to get her and if Fairfax just made a mistake, she'd be constantly worrying that if a potioneer who got one of the highest grades even in his Potions N.E.W.T. could make a mistake, then anybody could and that the potion might fail again. Whereas if it were a combination of things - Fairfax forgetting to lock his office or stores, a student just looking to steal something that day, them knocking something accidentally and then being afraid to own up, well, it both means nobody really wanted to hurt her AND that it's pretty unlikely to happen again, as it would be unlikely the whole series of events would be repeated.

By the way, you've called Fairfax "Fawley" once or twice. Fawley's one of the teachers in your story, isn't he? I've nearly typed Blackburn a couple of times when typing something else that begins with the first few letters. My fingers just tend to complete "Black" with "burn", so if I try to type something like "Blackrock", it often goes a little wrong.

Fairfax DID claim to have seen something that COULD have been sugar, which makes Wolfsbane useless, but he wasn't sure, and he apparently thought nothing of it at the time and only thought of it afterwards, so they can't put TOO much store on that, as sometimes if you think back on something, trying to think did you see anything odd, you'll start thinking maybe you did see something. Blackburn said she didn't see anything, but she was so distraught afterwards that it's doubtful she'd have remembered anyway.

And I can't BELIEVE you were dreaming about my characters. That is so, so awesome.

Actually, there's something in there that could be considered a little prophetic. For The Pawn in the Game, not this story.

And yeah, kids don't behave like Dora does if they're really happy. She's been brought up to believe Harry Potter and his friends ruined her family's lives and she believes it and she resents the fact that she's lost out on benefiting from being a member of one of wizarding Britain's most powerful families because of something that happened before she was born. If people knew she was Notts' granddaughter, she'd probably face some of the suspicion Scorpius does, which really isn't fair, as they can hardly help what their grandparents did.

Leonore and I are talking about writing a kind of just-for-fun story/short story collection, where Callaghan (the really nice Healer guy from our Irish Ministry story) acts as counsellor to various characters from our stories. I'm working on a conversation between him and Blackburn and I'm kind of tempted to write a piece where McGonagall insists Dora see him, after she gets caught doing something like say the vandalism and all in 1st year and he sort of tries to make her see that she's reacting pretty irrationally and only making things more difficult for herself. And also that some of the views her father and others have taught her aren't the only way to look at the world.


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Review #3, by Pheonix Potioneer Confidences.

10th December 2014:
The Weasley family is a near-perfect family. So is mine, as a matter of fact. Myself and the Weasleys are really lucky.

The chocolate dragon thing is so cool! I love it.

I'm glad the Victoire/Teddy/Blackburn thing is worked out. Hooray! I do hope Blackburn doesn't get her heart broken though... *worries*

I love Rose's and Angie's little interaction. I was able to read Angie's mind pretty well... hooray! It does make me thankful that my family is wonderful- Angie's right, we do actually want to be there. My cousins are awesome, and so are my aunt and uncles.

I'm glad Rose managed to convince Angie to play Quidditch.

One thing I like about chapters like this as that you make us care about the characters, like Angie and Victoire. So later, if something bad happens (Which I hope doesn't happen!) we'll be much more emotional about it.

Hmmm... Wolfsbane. Let's see... there is, of course, the possibility that Fairfax simply made a mistake. Mistakes happen. But there's also a high chance that someone tampered with it. It's assumed that the door was unlocked for some reason- but how did the tamperer know it would be unlocked? Did they unlock the door somehow? And how? I wonder if the doors are only locked to magical methods, and if you can pick it. That could be a possibility. I don't get why the only did something that one month. Perhaps they saw an opportunity, and seized it while it lasted? My brain is wrapped around in possibilities.

As for who tampered with the potion... Dora is one possibility, but for some reason I don't think it's her. The Slytherins who hexed Remus's statue is also a possibility. And then other students who dislike Blackburn- which I'm sure is plenty, since her teaching hasn't been as well this year. I'm kind of stumped.

There's also a possibility that students snuck ( into the stores for something else, and accidentally knocked an ingredient into the potion or something, and were too embarrassed or scared to say anything. Fairfax is a little intimidating, even if they weren't meant to be back there in the first place.

Well, luckily the next chapter is up, so I will read on!

Author's Response: Glad you have a great family. *grins*

And yup, that's the whole Victoire/Teddy/Blackburn thing sorted. That's about as much as will be said about it. I think Blackburn knows the score, even if she might prefer if things were different and anyway, she has rather more serious problems at the moment.

I'm glad you like Angie and Victoire. Funnily enough, they are two characters that seem determined to carve out a bigger part for themselves in this series than they were meant to have, Angie in particular. But the more I write of Victoire, the more I like her, particularly when she says things like that she feels sorry for Blackburn.

I LOVE all your theories. I particularly like the way you question how the villain, if there is one, could be sure the office would be left unlocked. The current theory among a lot of the characters is that somebody created a fuss in the corridors, Fairfax went out to investigate and may not have had a chance to lock his door behind him. Though he said he THOUGHT he DID lock it. So yeah, not exactly a foolproof plan, if that IS how it was done. You're right. It's distinctly possible that it might have been done differently. Don't take anything for granted here.

And yeah, I'm sure some students are a bit irritated with Blackburn's absences and strange behaviour on occasions. I'm not sure traumatising her further by causing the Wolfsbane to fail would be the best way of dealing with that, but then teenagers don't always think things through.

And I LOVE your final theory that it was done by accident and the person hasn't owned up because they are scared of getting into trouble. I can totally imagine a teenager being afraid to own up to breaking rules, especially afterwards, when the consequences were so serious.

Thank you so much for reviewing. Hope you like the reveal.


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Review #4, by Leonore The Clock Strikes One.

6th December 2014:
Yay, Angie's happy!

Granny and Grandad Granger are lovely, it makes me feel almost sorry for what I did to them in Rainfall. Rose's option choices are unsusprising.

This line: Angie's face lit up. "Thank you so much for including me, Mrs. Granger." - *huggles Angie* It's kind of sad that she's so surprised to be included, but it really makes her day.

Haha, Hugo's indignation at the idea of Rose getting a boyfriend! Somehow I doubt Rose is going to be getting a boyfriend in the near future, because then you'd have to write romance.

Poor Hugo. It's funny, the idea of him not being in the same year as Lily - I always assumed he was, from the epilogue, but it probably wasn't explicitly stated (I obviously don't have HP books here to figure out where I got that idea from).

This bit struck me as slightly odd, like it ought to be one or the other. Unless the repitition is for effect or something:

"At breakfast the following morning, it became clear not all her classmates felt as she did.

At breakfast the following morning it became clear that not all of her classmates were as pleased as she was to be back at school."

Well this just sums up Albus perfectly: "...and Albus just looked worried." Poor Al. I hope he gets that snitch and beats his brother.

Rose doesn't seem well at all. Not sure what's wrong with her but we're probably going to find out soon. (If she has Spattergroit... :P )

MAYBE Dora's feeling equally ill and is going to find something to help her sleep. Or maybe she's been doing something to make Rose ill.

This sentence seems kind of awkward. Maybe: "In the common room, a candle was alight," or "A candle was lighting the common room" or something (this might be Irish/English differences, I don't know). And this doesn't really want the comma: "its light hurting her eyes after the darkness of the dormitory."

Rose definitely doesn't seem well at all.

I WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT DORA'S UP TO TOO. And I can't think of any more theories at the moment, but I'll let you know if I come up with one.

Author's Response: Angie's fairly easily made happy actually, probably because she's learnt not to expect much. It's sad in one way, but it also means she's pretty resilient. She doesn't stay down long.

To be honest, I think she needs practical help more than emotional help. Mostly, she just deserves to have some of the opportunities other kids take for granted.

I love writing the difference between the Grangers and the Weasleys, with the Weasleys being such a big, crazy, tight-knit clan and the Grangers quieter and more well, academic, I suppose for want of a better word, but both adoring their grandchildren and spoiling them in their different ways - Molly fussing over them and feeding them up, Arthur taking them into the Muggle world and sharing his hobbies with them and the Grangers giving them advice on school and stuff.

As far as I know, all it said in the epilogue was that Hugo and Lily were discussing what houses they'd be in when they eventually got to go to Hogwarts, which could imply it was the same year, but wouldn't necessarily HAVE to. I've a couple of reasons for splitting them up - partly so I can focus more on each of them at a time and partly just because it struck me as a bit of a coincidence if both of Ron and Hermione's kids were in the same year as one of Harry's. Of course, it's a bit of a coincidence anyway, both of their children being within born within a couple of months of one of Harry's, but still. I suspect they are meant to be in the same year, but since I don't THINK it was said directly, it's one of the things I chose to play around with. The wiki just says Hugo was born after August 2006.

Yeah, that repetition is called "forgetting to delete the rejected sentence when editing." I changed that sentence so many times; it just kept sounding slightly wrong, probably because I was after skipping (Irish-speak alert; I guess ye'd say "had skipped") over a good chunk of time, so I must have forgotten to delete one of the rejected version or copy and pasted too much.

Hmm, it would be rather a coincidence if both of our stories had Rose ill at the end. Though of course, in yours, she got sick in her first year (ye don't use "sick" like that either, do ye? I try to use "ill" anyway, because I'm more sure of it. I don't think I could bring myself to use "poorly") whereas IF she IS sick here, it's her second.

I was wondering if you'd raise the possibility of Spattergroit. *laughs* Although that can last months, I guess it's not impossible, as Year 3 will be from Albus's point of view. I haven't decided whose point of view to write Year 4 from, but at the very least, she'd have 16 months to recover.

And of course, if she WERE ill for a long time, it would mean Albus would have to stand on his own two feet, which could be interesting.

I would torment you some more with suggestions about Rose being ill, but since you don't like her, you probably won't care.

Wonder what I'd have to do to her to get her your sympathy.

Of course, she COULD just be tired. It is pretty late and she hasn't slept and the teachers have been piling on the work as the end of year exams are coming.

And yes, if Dora was feeling ill, she might well get up to go to the hospital wing or something. Heading for the dungeons seems less likely, unless she wanted to ask Fairfax for a potion, but what are the chances he'd be in his office at 1am. She could be planning to raid the potions stores though, I suppose, and drive him crazy again. *laughs*

Yeah, that sentence was a bit awkward, so I changed it to "a candle was alight".

I'd love to hear any theories you have.

A fair amount will be revealed in the next chapter - what Dora is doing, if there is anything wrong with Rose (well, I guess it's fairly obvious another chapter should give some indications as regards that) and what happened to the Wolfsbane. Of course, the first and third could go together. Or they might not. I guess the second could be related too, but it's kinda less likely to be.


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Review #5, by Leonore Confidences.

5th December 2014:
Aww, Rose is so GROWN UP! Hugo's such a lovely normal little boy. Poor Angie - she's missing her siblings - maybe wishing her siblings could be normal and happy like Hugo? And the moment she gets excited about a topic of conversation, Rose changes the subject and ignores her!

Mmm, they get good breakfasts, at least on Easter morning! *is jealous*

Aw, Ron's being perfectly reasonable. Hermione just likes arguing with him, I guess.

As Hermione's English, you probably want English grammar here. "...to be allowed to start his Easter egg."

*huggles Hugo* He's so normal and excited and keeps the conversation from getting too deep.

Aww, Charlie actually WARNS them about the flames? I'd have expected him to not tell them to make it a surprise - a surprise which is hilarious for everyone else.

Good, Teddy doesn't fancy Lydia! Not concerned about this "she fancies him" thing. But I've already told you my views on this whole situation! Victoire's just giving her opinions/beliefs, and while they make sense it's hardly evidence of what's going to happen.

No Albus does not need to keep an eye on Angie all the time! Angie is perfectly capable of looking after herself in the Burrow.

Rose, tactful? If only. I can think of people Angie would rather have this conversation with.

Here: "What did you mean, so?" The "so" on the end is an Irish thing and, well, Rose isn't Irish.

Poor Angie *huggles her*. Rose is definitely not the best person for her to have this conversation with. I hate how casually Angie says things like "she'd probably spend the money in the pub...". Poor kid.

Um, Rose, Angie said she needed a break. That includes a break from you!

Yay, Angie's having a nice Easter for once! Everything's so normal (apart from Rose's deep conversations with people) and nice, and Hugo's bouncing around being a normal kid. It's nice seeing Hugo like that, without all the problems my Hugo has.

*bounces impatiently* I want to know who tampered with the Wolfsbane! Because as you know, I don't really have a clue.

Author's Response: Yeah, I don't think it's been mentioned yet, but Angie has a brother Hugo's age and it has definitely been mentioned that she has a little sister, who is probably around 6 - I've lost track, but I have her age in my notes. So yeah, she's probably wishing they had as much to be excited about on Easter morning as Hugo has. And she's probably worried about how they are spending the Easter holidays and who is looking after them and stuff.

I see the Ron/Hermione argument here as being part of an ongoing thing. Can't you see Ron regularly forgetting when it's his turn to cook, either accidentally OR accidentally-on-purpose? And Hermione constantly nagging him about how unfair it is that she's made dinner five times this week and he's only done it twice? I don't really see either Ron OR Hermione as the type to be too enthusiastic about housework, though Hermione'd DO it because she's something of a perfectionist. And she'd be irritated when Ron doesn't pull his weight. She does seem to secretly enjoy nagging him though.

Dialogue de-Irishised. I might get a chance to get you back when you start writing people like Callaghan.

And yeah, Hugo is a normal ten year old boy in this. Actually both Rose and Hugo are pretty happy - so far. As are James, Albus and Lily - again so far. Apart from Albus's regular worries, but they are relatively minor.

And yeah, Charlie warns them. George wouldn't, but Charlie does.

That's as much as you are going to get about Lydia possibly fancying Teddy, so you can interpret it pretty much as you will. I think it's open to debate whether even she really knows the answer to that one, as she probably wouldn't be too inclined to admit it to herself if she did fancy him, since he has a girlfriend. I think she's pretty likely to get a crush on any guy around her age who is nice to her anyway, since she's a little low on self-esteem and it probably means a lot to her to think somebody is concerned for her.

To be fair, Rose just wants to make sure Angie isn't left out, since she doesn't really know anybody there other than Rose and Albus. And kind of Hugo, but a ten year old probably isn't the greatest company a 13 year old could have. I don't think Angie'd mind, actually, but Rose is sort of the "younger siblings are so annoying and should go away" type, so she wouldn't think of him as being much company for Angie.

Actually, although they'd both probably hate this comparison, Rose is kind of like James in that way - they both, in different ways - sort of do the "I'm WAY too mature for what the younger kids are doing." Whereas Albus doesn't care and is like, "oh, of course, Lily, Hugo and Molly are welcome to join us."

Yeah, Angie refers to stuff like that casually, because it's pretty normal to her. Poor kid. She's pretty resilient though. I mean, yeah, stuff gets to her occasionally and she does feel a bit left out when the other kids are making plans for their holidays and stuff, but look at her in that Transfiguration class where they were turning balloons into footballs or whatever. She's perfectly capable of enjoying herself a lot of the time.

I am REALLY looking forward both to seeing what you make of certain things in the next chapter and how you respond to the reveal. And even more so to something that won't be revealed until somewhat later, when you will probably be appalled at somebody.

Thank you SO much for reviewing.


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Review #6, by Pheonix Potioneer King's Cross Station.

30th November 2014:
Why would anyone pretend to be drunk? To act like they're cool, older students or something? *Shakes head disapprovingly*

Albus has a point: Lily probably will be a Gryffindor. She seems the Gryffindor type to me. At least he has Rose in Ravenclaw as well.

Does Fionnuala have any friends? It just occurred to me. She seems happy enough, but still...

Wow, Hugo seems very annoying. I don't envy Rose on the brother aspect. *laughs*

I wonder what Angie is thinking during the car ride home. Probably that Rose is lucky to have a good family. I'd love to know what goes on in Angie's head. Maybe you should write a one-shot about it sometime. *hint hint, nudge nudge*

The way Angie is acting on the train before the Easter holidays reminds me a lot of scene with Albus and David in the second book. I can't help but see parallels between Rose and Angie and Albus and David.

Yes, Arithmancy and Ancient Runes sounds difficult, but extremely interesting. You just have to decide if you want to go the "interesting but hard" route or the "boring but easy" route.

Near the end of the chapter, when Rose is speaking she says "course" with a space between the "c" and the "o".

Great chapter! Love the stuff with Angie. :)

Author's Response: Yeah, basically to act cool and it's possible they might sort of have convinced themselves half a glass of alcohol would totally get you drunk. They're fairly young, after all, and probably haven't drunk alcohol before.

I like hearing what houses people think characters will end up in. Lily in Gryffindor, eh? Well, all will be revealed soon enough. I've no idea how many chapters are left in this story, but there can't be THAT many more. And then Lily starts Hogwarts in the next one.

And no, Fionnuala's sort of off in her own little world. She gets on well enough with most of her classmates, but she hasn't any really close friends. I don't think she cares all that much though.

You'll find out a little more about what Angie is thinking in the next chapter. You've it pretty accurately figured out though. Poor Angie.

I was considering writing a one-shot about Angie and Blackburn's interaction after Angie faced the Boggart. I still might, sometime.

Oooh, I'm now intrigued as to what is going to happen between Albus and David. It sounds like there might be a mystery about David, like there was about Angie.

And there are a few coincidental similarities between our two stories. I guess it's not THAT surprising, as we are both writing next generation mysteries, but it's still amusing sometimes.

Thanks for pointing out the typo. I've fixed that now.

Of course Rose is going to go the difficult but extremely interesting route. The others might be more questionable.

Thanks again for the reviews. They're really appreciated.


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Review #7, by Pheonix Potioneer Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff.

30th November 2014:
Yes! Albus caught the snitch! Of course, I'm not pleased about
Hufflepuff losing, but I'm pleased about Albus winning, if that
makes sense. I find it amusing that after he wins, he is still
worrying. Lighten up Albus! There's room for character
development, I must say. By the seventh book, I expect Rose to be
more considerate towards people with different opinions and not as
bossy, and Albus to be more confident and less of a worrier. *Looks
sternly over a pair of glasses*

Angie sounded slightly irritated! *gasp* But... but... but Angie is a
little angel! I love Angie. I suppose I can forgive her.

Well, I remember at school I never remembered when the football
games were... and then when people asked me if I was going, I'd be
like "Oh, is that today?". I totally sympathize with Fionnuala. (Her
name is really hard to spell.)

Well, I hope half of Ravenclaw doesn't have a hangover. I'm
surprised the prefects didn't turn them in. Isn't there at least one
stickler for rules?

Author's Response: I suppose I should have guessed you'd be sorry to see Hufflepuff beaten, but yeah, Albus needs a win, even if he still remains nervous afterwards.

Yes, Albus really needs to gain some confidence and Rose needs to realise she's not always right. I actually considered having Rose abducted in a later story so Albus would have to stand on his own two feet and solve things himself, but I don't think it is going to happen.

And hey, even Angie can get irritated sometimes. Nobody's perfect.

Hmm, the whole drinking thing might be a cultural difference. I get the impression underage drinking is taken WAY more seriously in America than here in Ireland. Even most of the really well-behaviour, straight A typed, kids who would have worried about being late to class or only doing one hour's study after their homework when they'd planned on doing two, in my year, were drinking by the age of 15 or 16. Generally, if people didn't drink at 16, it was because they'd made a decision not to for whatever reason, and didn't drink as adults either. Not that people'd have drunk at school, but Hogwarts students don't have much time away from school.


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Review #8, by Pheonix Potioneer Weaving a Web.

30th November 2014:
When Rose was talking with Nick, at one point she said "Nicholas", and later she said "Nicolas". You should probably fix that.

I find it amusing that your version of Albus is so nervous and shy. Rose just bosses him around.

Is Blackburn always going to be nervous and jumpy? She's been like that the entire year. After the A.W.L. business settles down, will she go back to her normal self? Or is this permanent?

I LOVE Nick's beautiful little speech about change. It's marvelous. It makes a beautiful quote, too. Awesome job with that!

When Professor Fairfax is talking to them, they say, "Yes Sir", with the "sir" capitalized. Is that on purpose?

Dora is just annoying, disturbing Blackburn just for the sake of it. I think she's a bit lonely, left out, and so the only joy she really has is making Blackburn afraid. I almost feel sorry for Dora. (I said almost.)

Rose has a point- it would be nice if the person was caught. But it's good they aren't tampering with the potion either.

Smart of Nick to recruit Peeves. :)

Awesome chapter! I think the discussion about change was one of the best parts. Loved it!

Author's Response: Oh, it would be so good if I could spell. *laughs* OK, I've fixed that; thanks for pointing it out.

Your question about Blackburn is a hard one to answer without giving stuff away, as obviously what else happens with regard to her job and the A.W.L. and the revelations about the potion will all affect her recovery too. I wouldn't say it's necessarily PERMANENT, but she isn't likely to recover overnight either. She's had some bad shocks, as well as being under a lot of stress, and no matter what happens, it's likely to take her some time to fully come to terms with everything. And it's likely there will always be SOME effects. But it's also likely that when - if - things are sorted out, she's likely to begin feeling better.

Glad you liked Nick's speech. That was NOT planned, but after all, he's seen a lot of changes and how they worked or didn't work, so I reckoned he'd have some insight.

Dora's treatment of Blackburn is nothing short of cruel. Admittedly, she's only 13 and probably doesn't quite realise how traumatised Blackburn is or just how bad things like that might make her feel, but nonetheless, she is just tormenting her for her own amusement.

And yes, I think you have something about Dora feeling left out and resentful about what has happened to her family and her own unpopularity and that that is contributing to her behaviour. People don't behave like that if they're happy themselves. And she clearly has some issues.

Glad you liked the chapter. Things are quietening down for a few chapters here, but the revelations shouldn't be too far away and things will definitely get dramatic then.

Thank you so much for the reviews.


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Review #9, by Veritaserum27 Tensions Remain.

29th November 2014:
Hi there! I know it's been ages since I've left you a review and I apologize!

This chapter was really good. I feel like you've laid a lot of groundwork for setting the stage of what's to come. Before I thought Dora was downright mean and basically just really ignorant. Now, I'm starting to think that she's seriously dangerous. You given us just subtle hints with her dialogue, but I think she's willing to stoop to a whole other level. Actually, I love that you've sort of kept it a mystery as to how far she's willing to go. I'm chuckling to myself, almost thinking she should've been sorted into Slytherin, with her comments about Death Eaters not being "all" wrong and that the other Ravenclaws should be careful, because they won't see her coming with her retaliation. Very sneaky. However, the fact that she was sorted into Ravenclaw actually makes me more nervous. It means that she has not only the cunning, but the cleverness to pull of some pretty evil stuff. Hmmm...

I found one little typo - which is really hard to do in your writing! It was here:

She sighed again. It wasn't far to take it out on him, especially not after he'd had such a disappointing match earlier.

I think you meant to write "fair" not "far."

I also think that Rose is a little more afraid than she's letting on. While I know that she keeps telling herself she isn't afraid of Dora, and she's avoiding her so she won't get into trouble or miss out on her studies (how very Hermione), but I think the reality is that Rose is a bit nervous to get in too deep with someone who has questionable morals.

Great chapter. Can't wait to read the next!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Thanks you so much for the review. Glad to see you back. The first mysterious event will take place in about two chapters now. It's a comparatively minor one though. The main mystery is still a longish way off.

Really glad you liked the chapter.

Yeah, the big question here is how much of that stuff is Dora saying just to be edgy and how much does she really mean? And if she DOES mean it, what is she willing to do? She's also a representation of the fact that the pureblood supremacists still exist. Voldemort may have been defeated and the Ministry may be being reformed, but the prejudices of centuries haven't disappeared and those people are increasingly feeling alienated due to Ministry changes.

Thanks for pointing out that typo. I've corrected it now.


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Review #10, by Leonore King's Cross Station.

21st November 2014:
Haha, I know people like that. And yeah, the teachers would probably take it seriously.

Aw, brotherly love... *huggles Albus*

Oh yes, three weeks IS forever... until it's over, when you look back and it seems like no time at all.

Ooh, Rose is inviting Angie to stay! *looks forward to seeing what happens* I guess we might get to find out more about Angie!

Aaaand Rose is convinced it's Dora. Still.

Rose is confused. Wow. Yeah, Angie's kind of nervous... that's surprising?

Aww, Hugo. Hermione's being boring. Though the four of them in London IS worrying... Aww, James is being mean. But I'm actually happy with Rose for once for not letting him get away with it. *cheers for Aidan & co* Oh, I don't like Rose again, she's being disparaging of them. "What would blind kids be doing in a museum", indeed! And Arthur... in a muggle museum... yeah, not the best of plans.

You probably want a comma in here: "...his stupid Quidditch, and finally parted."

Ron and Hermione are perfect together. And this is a perfect demonstration of why! Ron's being a bad dad, but he's right that he doesn't have to worry about encouraging Rose to be interested in her education!

Rose - ancient runes and arithmancy - yep, thought so! The Muggle studies thing makes sense... and I think you mentioned something about having a muggle teaching muggle studies, not sure, which would suggest SOMEONE will take it. And Angie for Care of Magical Creatures. I like Angie.

*huggles* Thank you so much for yet another shout-out!

Author's Response: One of my friend's actually said once that a class she had were given this questionnaire including stuff like "do you drink?" and "how often?" and some of them were writing in ludicrous stuff, like that they'd been drinking 5 days a week since they were 13 and stuff and she said she knew they weren't because she'd kind of have noticed if they'd been coming into school after drinking that much. So yeah, kids exaggerate.

Yeah, we might get to see a little more of Angie.

Rose didn't mean to be quite as disparaging as that came out. She was mostly just interested in why it'd be of interest to them. But yeah, it does show she's got a fairly stereotyped view of people with disabilities and just kind of expects that they wouldn't be able to do many normal things.

And yeah, she's REALLY not thinking about how it might feel for Angie to go and stay with complete strangers, in a world she's still a newcomer to.

Will insert comma. *laughs*

Ron probably wouldn't say that stuff if he really thought there was any danger of Rose NOT taking the decision seriously, but as it is, he likes to tease her and Hermione about taking life so seriously. And he likes being the cool dad.

Angie would definitely do Care of Magical Creatures, because it gives a bit of freedom and a chance to mess about. And yup, am thinking of a Muggle teaching Muggle Studies. *plots*

Well, a large part of the story was inspired by yours, so it's only fair I gave you some acknowledgement.


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Review #11, by Leonore Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff.

16th November 2014:
I think they need to get Dora's head looked at. She's laughing for no reason now. *cheers for Blackburn ignoring her*

Aww, Al is cute. And Blackburn seems so much happier and more confident this chapter than she has in the whole of this story so far! I approve.

Why should Rose think? Um, Lydia, I think Rose SHOULD think at least occasionally.

Al, stop asking Rose for Quidditch advice. The more you ask for her advice, the more unbearable she'll get. And urgh, she's not very good at comforting him (unsurprisingly). I think Al should meet Callaghan too.

Oh, Angie's getting mildly irritated with Fionnuala. Can't really blame her. Somehow I doubt Fionnuala's going to notice, though.

"Is there really any point in hanging around longer than we need to?" needs a question mark.

COME ON RAVENCLAW!

Maybe some exclamation marks in your Quidditch commentary - like "And they're off!", and sometimes join with commas or elipses rather than full stops all the time, for variety? Good - realistic - commentary, though.

Aw, Rose doesn't want to get wet. Go on, soak them! Aw, ickle firsties scared of thunder! I like thunderstorms - though I prefer to be indoors for them! Haha, characters getting wet! *sniggers and cheers* (Yes I'm easily amused when sleep deprived).

YAY, RAVENCLAW! *dances*

Poor Scorpius. I like Scorpius.

Hahaha Felicity's drunk. Or at least thinks she's drunk. Rebel Ravenclaws!

Author's Response: Well, Blackburn's now had the potion work twice in a row, so I guess she's relaxing a little bit. She still has a fair few demons to deal with, of course, but she's probably feeling a little better than she did before the full moon, at least.

And come on, you know what Lydia MEANT. Why should she think about how Lydia might be feeling?

I'll correct that missing question mark.

I'm surprised you didn't give out about Rose rolling her eyes at the first years being scared. I thought you'd disapprove of that.

And yes, the first years convincing themselves they are drunk. *laughs*


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Review #12, by Leonore Weaving a Web.

5th November 2014:
*shakes Dora hard*

Rose is an idiot. She's convinced it's Dora - AGAIN. And oh no, she can't use the potion as bait... oh OK, she's not going to make it vulnerable or anything. Phew. I wouldn't put it past her to leave it lying out in the open in order to lure Dora in.

Al doesn't like them sticking their noses into other people's business. I actually approve of Rose finding out who's responsible, though. She's doing good things. But she's unbearable with it. Poor Al, putting up with her.

Bossy boots Rose. Stop ordering Al around.

Haha, someone already thought of it. Well obviously other people are going to think of the obvious, even if it takes Rose a while. But NO ONE THOUGHT TO ASK THE GHOSTS? THAT surprises me.

Stop arguing with people for the hell of it, Rose. Nick is sensible.

Actually, it's just occurred to me that Harry's trying to push for Auror reforms and the Draoithe are debating Fianna reforms! And Nick's summed up the difficulties faced by both groups of reformists very nicely.

Yay, Nobby! :D

What MIGHT Peeves do to Fairfax's office? Provided it doesn't prevent them from being able to retrieve the potion when Blackburn needs to take it!

D'aw, Albus is so cute, all proud of being mentioned.

And I can tell exactly why Neville is particularly fond of Nathan!

Oh, Dora's reaction to the news of a test! I TOTALLY haven't joined in complaining about the unfairness of surprise tests... Actually in these circumstances, I'm glad Rose spoke up. It's better than Blackburn having to deal with Dora's complaint herself.

Teehee, Peeves refusing to dismantle the web!

Author's Response: I don't think Rose would be able to get her hands on the potion in order to leave it somewhere out in the open. And I don't think she's that irresponsible anyway, although when she gets an idea into her head, anything is possible. Hermione's idea about leaving hats and stuff lying around so the house elves will be freed, without considering where they'd live or how they'd support themselves if they left Hogwarts was bad enough, and Rose has a touch of Ron's impulsiveness on top of that.

And yeah, poor Al. He does get dragged into things he really doesn't want to deal with. It's more that he's worried than that he doesn't approve of it, although some things he DOESN'T approve of, but he won't speak up to say so. *hugs him* I am fond of my Albus.

And yes, of COURSE McGonagall and the other teachers and Hermione are going to think to ask the portraits outside Fairfax's office to watch out and see if anybody tries to enter. It's not really rocket science and I want to avoid the "all adults are stupid and can't figure out things a 12 year old can" idea.

It was only while I was editing and added in the line about how they shouldn't BE Aurors if they're afraid of risks (the comment about how in a dangerous job, people are going to be more wary of change was the one I realised Rose wouldn't let go without an argument) that I realised how similar that argument was to the one Burke was having with everybody about how nothing about the Fianna should be changed because they are absolutely perfect. I think even Rose would shut up if faced with Burke. He's pretty intimidating.

Yeah, Nobby. I thought you might comment on the speculation about Hermione too.

I hadn't even thought of them not being able to get the potion. Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

And yes, I think Neville's reasons for sympathising with Nathan are obvious to anybody reading. I try to show Neville coming full circle, treating people like Nathan and Blackburn with the compassion that people like Remus showed him when HE needed it, because he knows what it's like to lack self-esteem and he also knows how a person can overcome that and how they can succeed when they are given encouragement to BELIEVE they can. And now I'm reminded of an Irish proverb, "Mol an oige agus tiocaidh siad." It means "praise the young and they will come on." Or "they will achieve" probably expresses it better.

Complaining about surprise tests is totally legitimate and under normal circumstances I don't think Blackburn would give them anyway, but she just really wants to be left alone at that moment. And you can see why she'd want to shut Dora up.

And yes, that was what I meant when I said that Rose arguing in Transfiguration wasn't as bad as it seemed. At least it meant Blackburn got out of responding. Although I think she'd just have ignored the comment anyway.

And did you really think Peeves would just take down the web so Fairfax wouldn't get caught in it? *laughs*


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Review #13, by Pheonix Potioneer Protective Potions.

3rd October 2014:
Rose, really? James may be a pranker, but he wouldn't POISON anyone. That's just not him.

I don't blame Albus for being disgruntled after Scorpius found the snitch every single time before he did. Face it, Albus- Scorpius is undefeatable.

Rose, don't get too angry at Scorpius. Not everyone is constantly suspicious of everyone *cough*UnlikeRose*cough*

Well, the answer to my millions of questions last chapter was a bit anti-climatic. I think he should have let us ponder a few more chapters.

Rose, please don't yell at Abric. He just got a huge lecture by McGonagall! The last thing he needs is another lecture.

Even though Abric was incredibly stupid, I feel a little sorry for him. He'll be doomed for potions class for the remaining five years, since Fairfax will hate his guts.

Rose, there could be a simple reason Dora didn't take the potion from Abric. She probably has seen Abric brew in potions class, so she decided it was probably rubbish. I think everyone who got sick weren't in Abric's potion class.

Thank you, Lucy, for pounding sense into Rose's head about Felicity.

I yell at Rose a lot don't I? I think it's because she's like my opposite. I'm pretty good at feeling sympathetic for others and putting myself in other people's shoes, and recognizing why people do certain things. I'm friends with people who have drastically different political ideologies and other views from myself, because I don't care. Rose, on the other hand, can be extremely narrow-minded and doesn't understand that not everybody has to share her opinion. I hope SOMETHING happens so she opens her mind a little.

For example, I can see things from Dora's view very well. She must be at least slightly embarrassed to be related to Death Eaters, otherwise she wouldn't have changed her name to Nottingham. (I just realized- Her last name is Nottingham. Like the Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood. Is that intentional? I'll keep my eye out for someone with the last name of Sherwood.) When Dora came to Hogwarts she was in the same house as Albus Potter, the son of the famous of Harry Potter. Her jealousy grew, and she wanted to taint his name so people wouldn't see him as perfect. So she wrote that stuff on the walls, framed Albus, and sent him Swelling Solution for her own enjoyment. She wanted him to suffer, since he seemed so perfect. I'm not saying at all this is the right course of action (Scorpius didn't do that, and his family were Death Eaters), just I understand why Dora what she did. And since she was raised by a family who were very anti-werewolf, that explains her hatred of Blackburn. It's EXTREMELY difficult to break out of the mold of your family views, especially at a young age. How on Earth did Sirius Black do it?

Good chapter, by the way. Can't wait for the next!

Author's Response: Yeah, it was a bit anti-climatic. Hope you weren't disappointed.

Yeah, there's a reason so few 2nd years were affected. That's why I mentioned in the previous chapter that most of those ill were first or third years. I think first years would be the most likely to fear Blackburn anyway, as the others would have known her as a teacher and a person before knowing her as a werewolf, but I also thought most second years would be underrepresented as they'd know what he was like. And one of those who was effected is a Hufflepuff and therefore not in his Potions class. So Danica is the only one who'd have known what his brewing was like.

I'm actually getting kind of fond of Lucy. She's smart and responsible and even a little bossy like Rose, but she doesn't have Rose's tendency to overreact and jump to conclusions.

Though I hadn't intended it, I think Rose has some similarities with me as a young teen. She isn't LIKE me. I'd never have spoken to a teacher like she does to Blackburn. In fact, I'd have been embarrassed just to know a teacher wasn't feeling well - you know, like I knew something inappropriately personal about them. But I did have a temper. I guess I still do, though I've learnt to keep it under control. And I had pretty strong political opinions. I've since come to see the opposite sides of just about everything though. Anything believed by large numbers of people has to have SOME logic behind it, since you might get a small number of people to believe something utterly ridiculous but not when it's more than say 20% of people.

She's still a young teen and I think it is fairly normal for smart, politically aware kids to come down very strongly on one side or the other of an issue at her age. It takes experience and learning more about things to see that very few issues are clear cut. I think the more you learn, the less certain you get in a lot of ways. At thirteen, it's easy to be certain, because you've only been exposed to a limited number of issues, but as you grow older, you begin to see things aren't that clear.

I've tried to show that with Hermione, when she asks Blackburn at the beginning of this, if she wants them to begin the campaign they are planning, knowing the A.W.L. will target her in response. Which is a bit change from how, at fifteen, she was trying to free the house elves against their will, not stopping to think about how they'd provide for themselves if they lost their jobs or whether or not they really wanted freedom.

No, I didn't actually mean the whole "Sheriff of Nottingham" thing, although it does kind of work in a way, doesn't it? Since she is sort of supporting a corrupt organisation or at least a prejudiced one, just as the Sheriff of Nottingham was.

I think you sum up Dora very well. She grew up seeing Harry and his friends as the ones that caused all her family's problems and she feels it's unfair she should suffer for what her grandfather did. She was raised with a lot of resentment, in a family that felt they were denied their rightful place in society due to actions that were beyond their control. After all, Theodore Nott couldn't help what his father did. It doesn't EXCUSE her behvaviour, but it does help EXPLAIN it.

My feeling is that Sirius's parents were pretty harsh on their children, maybe not actually cruel, but certainly from what we've seen of his mother, she doesn't seem like a loving parent, so he may not have been as close to them as say Draco seems to have been to his parents or Dora is to hers and if they were angry about him being sorted into Gryffindor, he might have thought, "well, not going to please them anyway, so might as well really annoy them by befriending people they'd hate." Judging by his bedroom, it seems like he enjoyed annoying them. And then hanging around with people with views they hated, he'd learn more of the other side. I do know some people who made it a matter of principal to do exactly what their parents would hate.


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Review #14, by Pheonix Potioneer Sudden Sickness.

3rd October 2014:
What? You have ANOTHER chapter? I haven't even reviewed this one yet!

Madam Pomfrey can be intimidating sometimes. But she does care about everyone, which is good. If you were a healer and personally didn't care whether your patient would live or die, that would be bad.

When you wrote, ""We wanted to," Nathan mumbled" I got sightly confused. I usually associate the word "mumbled" if someone's tired, or they don't want to say what they're going to say. Which kind of contradicts Nathan's statement. What do you want Nathan to say?

Fairfax is downright horrifying! I knew he was strict, but I didn't know he could contain that much anger! WOW!

I have no doubt that if he catches whoever stole ingredients, they will be sorry.

I wonder (Just like Rose!) what ingredients it were. Snape never had this violent of a reaction, even when polyjuice ingredients were stolen. And Snape is an unlikable person. So are the ingredients the student stole REALLY rare, deadly, dangerous, or something like that? It must be important ingredients, not something basic.

Albus has a point. Odd things ALWAYS happen at Hogwarts. Maybe because there's a certain author and thousands of fanfiction writers who need something interesting to write about...

Fairfax in something dodgy? Nope. I don't believe it. He would of covered it up. Unless he's trying to make a distraction... or maybe someone else is trying to make a distraction, and that's why they stole the ingredients, to cover something else up... *Mind goes haywire*

How does he lock up his storage? Can a simple "Alohomora" open the door? Or is it more complicated and incredibly difficult, and that's why Fairfax is mad?

"Elders and betters"? That's stupid. Kate's giving all the fifth years a bad reputation.

Though, Rose shouldn't have yelled at Kate like that. She should pick her battles. People angry at werewolves and want to fire Blackburn... yes, important battle. Stupid comments Dora (who nobody listens to) and Kate say? Just stay out, Rose. They're not worth it.

Rose, don't ask Fairfax about the ingredients. PLEASE. When there's an angry person, just stay out of their way so they don't unleash their anger on you. Make it so they barely notice you exist.

Ooo, Felicity is intriguing. "He said it would protect me." What would? Who said? Did she maybe buy an amulet or something? I can picture Felicity's mother buying Felicity an amulet to protect her against anything that could harm her (like a werewolf). Or it could be something else. *Mind explodes*

Who are Leona Fudge and Danica Ravensdale? Are they Ravenclaws? Most likely someone purposely poisoned them, so what relation do they all have? If it's Dora, why would she poison Felicity instead of Rose? Did Dora (or someone else) find out some secret Felicity knows or something? Or were the wrong people accidently targeted? Who else has ingested the posion? Has Blackburn? For this poison, did the person use the ingredients from Fairfax's storage?

Hmm, lots of questions. The good news is, I can read right on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Yeah, I got the next chapter up pretty quickly, partly because it's a fairly short one and partly, I think, because it follows on so directly from this one that I didn't have to start thinking where to go next. I was originally going to make all the stuff about the illness one chapter, but then decided that wouldn't leave much suspense, would it?

To mumble is to say something unclearly. Maybe it has a slightly different meaning in the U.S. than in Ireland? And Nathan is just kind of embarrassed about getting into a kind of personal conversation with a teacher. I'll see if I can make that clearer though.

Yeah, Fairfax is angry, but he's not promising to personally ensure the person is expelled like Snape did. Maybe the ingredients are dangerous, maybe he's worried because this is the second time somebody has accessed something he should have kept under lock and key and he's worried he'll be blamed, maybe he's just overprotective of his potions ingredients or maybe there is something more to it. I'm not giving anything away.

And yeah, Kate is a bit dismissive and uptight, isn't she? But yeah, Rose is overreacting too. It seems fairly normal at Hogwarts for the older students to dismiss the younger ones and if she's going to start a fight every time they do so, she'll be doing it quite a lot.

And yep, you came fairly close with the idea of Felicity buying an amulet. *grins*

Leona Fudge and Danica Ravensdale are two minor second year characters. They've been mentioned occasionally in the sorting or in class but they are easy to overlook. Leona is a Hufflepuff and Danica is a Slytherin.

*laughs at you asking if Blackburn has ingested the poison* I guess she is the obvious target for anything dodgy going on this year.

And I LOVE all your questions. It's always nice to know you've got people thinking and wondering.

Thank you SO much for your review.


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Review #15, by Leonore Protective Potions.

2nd October 2014:
"She couldn't remember whether or not she'd been at breakfast actually." might work better as "She couldn't remember whether or not Felicity'd been at breakfast, actually." It's obvious who all the "she"s are referring to, but it can take a second to process and figure out that one "she" is Rose and the next Felicity.

Rose REALLY has it in for Dora. It doesn't even make sense. Though I guess there is the similarity with the chocolate cauldrons... but seriously, Rose!

You've got a question mark instead of an exclamation mark: "That's exactly what I mean!"

I really don't know who'd try to off a first-year kid either. (Well, who a certain author could convince to do it for them.)

I'm confused. Like Rose, I can't think of any explanations. IT MAKES NO SENSE. I'm sure it will later, when you've actually explained what's going on, but I can't think of any realistic theories.

You might want to put quotation marks around the first "it" here: "...to explain what "it" was or who'd said it."

Yay, Scorpius! I like Scorpius. Poor Al, though, feeling even MORE inferior!

Poor Felicity. Yes, I said it! Poor Felicity. She's an idiot, and I don't like her, but I still feel a little bit sorry for her. And Rose needs to mind her own business and sort out her attitude. I like Lucy.

Abric's dodgy potion, trying to make a couple of easy galleons. That's all there is to it. I was sure there was more to it than that, but that's really the only explanation that would make sense.

Rose apologised to someone! *gasps*

SERIOUSLY, ROSE. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Poor Abric's just had to tell McGonagall everything - and he deserved everything he got from her - and he'll have to face the other Slytherins and all the people he made ill, but to have Rose LYING IN WAIT TO QUESTION AND LECTURE HIM THE MOMENT HE COMES OUT OF MCGONAGALL'S OFFICE. Not appropriate. Mind your own business, Rose. Though stupid Abric deserves to have a nasty time after being so stupid and creating the situation that's going to be horrendous for poor Blackburn to learn of.

Rose being disdainful and "holier than thou" again. Um, I'm pretty sure McGonagall's already told him all that.

I still like Scorpius. He's amazing.

Aaand Rose is dwelling on Dora's swelling solution again. Surprise surprise. And there's a far more plausible explanation for why Dora didn't buy the potion: Dora's not stupid. The potion works on people who know basically nothing about werewolves. Dora might make Blackburn's life hard but she's not scared of her. She just sees the lycanthropy as a weapon to use against Blackburn (partially as revenge for her getting into trouble the previous year), not as something she's really concerned about. She actually knows that full moons are perfectly safe (because Blackburn wouldn't have her job otherwise, and they've had enough of them already), she just convinces others otherwise to make Blackburn's life miserable and increase the chances of Blackburn being fired (because even if she's not the villain, she wants that to happen).

I'm both sorry for and angry with Abric. He's a stupid idiot and he's REALLY going to pay for it.

Though if Abric can get into the potions cupboard, Fairfax REALLY isn't very good at locking up. Hmm... (Yeah, if I come up with more theories, I'll tell you.)

Author's Response: *laughs at your confusion at the beginning of the chapter*

I've now removed that question mark and yeah, you're right; that "it" probably should have quotation marks around it.

*bounces* I SAID I'd make you feel sorry for Felicity. Yeah, she's an idiot, but she's an 11 year old girl who was raised in a pretty prejudiced environment and she's away from home for the first time, so it's hard to blame her for overreacting to things. She needs reassurance rather than dismissal.

And *grins at you commenting that the explanation is the only one that'd make sense* You came close to the solution when you started speculating on Felicity having done something herself and making a mistake.

*laughs* People spent a day feeling terrible and it could probably have been a whole lot worse if he'd inadvertently added something really DANGEROUS and your main concern is that it'll upset Blackburn.

Yeah, Rose's logic doesn't really work there. Especially since there are almost certainly other people who dislike or are scared of Blackburn and didn't buy it. Apart from anything else, she has Potions class with Abric, so she'd probably have an idea of how much his potions were to be trusted. And besides the Notts have their own agendas here and are more in the business of using the whole lycanthropy thing than anything else. Dora sure doesn't seem particularly scared of Blackburn. More the other way around if anything.

I feel the same way about Abric. On the one hand what he did was REALLY dangerous and while he didn't really think of the harm he could do, it WAS pretty selfish. But on the other hand, he really didn't mean any harm and crossing people like Orpington and Montague REALLY isn't a good idea. And he was pretty lucky he wasn't expelled really.


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Review #16, by Leonore Sudden Sickness.

24th September 2014:
Madame Pomfrey says Blackburn will be fine. :D Though that's physically, not mentally.

STOP APOLOGISING, LYDIA. AND STOP SNORTING, DORA, YOU'RE NOT A HORSE. Rose is being nice and sympathetic and for once not getting too distracted by crazy ideas about revenge on Dora. Dora, who's doing Charms homework... and if she fails Transfiguration, Blackburn gets the blame...

Yeah, betting whoever's responsible for the potion failing also nicked the ingredients. And I very much doubt whatever potion's being brewed is going to be entirely innocent. Yeah, and it wasn't James and Robin.

Stop jumping to conclusions, Rose. Just because you don't like Dora.

Yeah, Fairfax really sucks at keeping things locked up.

Now I'm thinking Felicity has something to do with the missing supplies, because Rose thinks she doesn't.

Mind your own business, Rose. And haha, Rose got told. *cheers Kate*

I know you were worried about it but you've done a good job of covering such a long time frame in this chapter.

Oh. Oh no. I can't say this makes me like Felicity (in fact it shows she was only calming down about Blackburn because she thought this mysterious potion would protect her, not because Rose managed to convince her), but the poor kid doesn't deserve to be poisoned. And I'm desperately trying to guess why someone might target her. Maybe to frame Rose or Albus or Blackburn... the logical thing to do would be to read on, so I'll do that...

It's not just Felicity? I'm guessing it's all the people who were really scared about Blackburn. But who... why... I'm trying to come up with insane theories but I don't know, I only know there's a guy involved so not Dora (unless polyjuice, which I really doubt). YOU HAD TO LEAVE IT THERE, DIDN'T YOU? NOW GET ON WITH WRITING THE NEXT CHAPTER - YOU CAN'T LEAVE US HANGING LIKE THIS! Oh hang on, you can and you are... I bet you're laughing so hard right now...

Author's note - yay, thank you! *hugs* (Au Clair de la Lune, by the way - you missed the "la", translation I'm using is "By Moonlight" ;) )

All your little hints about this chapter and it was so unexpected and ARGH! Get on with that next chapter! I'm waiting very impatiently because I need to know what's going on!!!

Author's Response: Yeah, Blackburn will be fine physically. The potion didn't even fail this time. It's just been a tough transformation because she's tired and stressed and really didn't need a transformation on top of all that. Mentally might be a bit harder to predict. She has a LOT going on in her head.

I actually laugh every time I read your comment to Dora that she's not a horse. THAT amuses me.

Hmm, yes, Fairfax certainly seems lax about security. Maybe it's because he's so obsessed with his potions that he doesn't notice mundane details like that. Or maybe there's something more to it. Maybe he's not lax about security at all. Maybe somebody's figured out a way past his security. *confuses the issue*

*laughs at your reaction to Kate telling Rose off*

I think you've put together more than Rose has. Although she's busy taking care of Felicity.

Yeah, framing Blackburn seems like something the A.W.L. might do.

I was originally going to put all the stuff about Felicity and the others getting sick into one chapter, then I thought where's the fun in that. I have to give people a chance to speculate.

And you're a great one to talk about cliffhangers.

Like I said, I don't DO French. *laughs*

I was looking forward to your reaction, and that of my other reviewers, to this chapter, as the events are so unexpected. The people who are ill are the last ones you expect to be victims.


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Review #17, by Veritaserum27 Ravenclaw versus Slytherin.

20th September 2014:
Hi - I'm back!

What a great chapter! - In the last chapter, we saw the Hermione come out in Rose and at the end of this one, she is all Ron. Although I'm not sure Ron would've been able to exercise the restraint she did when Dora was insulting Rose's cousin. He would've hexed her for sure!

I also saw a little bit of Ron in Albus - especially with the nerves and Quidditch. I could really feel for him - he was doubting himself and wanted to do so well for his team. The match itself kept me on the edge of my seat. I jumped when Scorpius caught the snitch.

I haven't read the first novel in this series, so I hope I'm not missing too much about Scorpius's character. He seems to be a bit shy and while he is still a Malfoy, doesn't seem to be proud of that fact - am I right? He's also apparently very good at Quidditch, but doesn't advertise that fact. I thought it showed strong character that both Rose and Albus were willing to congratulate Scorpius - even if they haven't done it yet.

Ooo- Dora gets me so mad! I don't understand her hatred - it's not like she has any friends on her side (or does she...).

I wasn't sure about this line at the end:

Mum isn't denying the way things happened in the past, just trying to ensure they don't happen again?

Did you mean for it to be a period at the end instead of a question mark?

I also really like James's character. He is so funny and arrogant - I think much like his namesake. You can tell that he loves his family, but still has a great time egging them on.

Thanks for the great chapter!

Beth

Author's Response: Thanks again for the reviews. Glad you liked the chapter. I'm not so fond of this one myself, mainly because it contains a lot of Quidditch and by necessity, a fair amount of physical description. Not my favourite stuff to write (I prefer torturing characters *laughs*).

Yeah, Rose manages somewhat more restraint than Ron does, though she does get sorely tempted when she feels somebody is being unfairly treated.

Scorpius...yeah, I thought long and hard about how to characterise him. Most of the other characters' personalities kind of jumped to mind, but his I had to think about, since I didn't want him to be a Draco clone but nor did I want him to form a new trio with Rose and Albus. Not because I've any problems with either of those two portrayals, but I've already seen them both done plenty of times and I didn't want to unconsciously repeat somebody else's idea.

So my Scorpius is something of a loner. He's very aware of what people think of his family and is somewhat torn, because he loves his father and even his grandfather, but doesn't want to be associated with his grandfather's beliefs or with their Death Eater connections. He's pretty isolated as many of the pureblood families, those with Death Eater sympathies, either see the Malfoys as traitors or else resent them for the way Lucius got out of being sent to Azkaban after the war when far lower ranking Death Eaters were and people who AREN'T from families with Death Eater sympathies are suspicious of the Malfoys, like James is.

It's not so much not advertising the fact he's good at Quidditch, as that he's pretty secretive in general.

He is pretty friendly with Rose and Albus, more so than he is with most people, which is why they want to congratulate him.

Dora's hatred is explained at the end of The Writing on the Wall. She blames Harry for her family losing their position, as her grandfather was involved with the Death Eaters. She was raised with a good deal of resentment towards a system which many of the purebloods are feeling increasingly isolated from. They feel somewhat targeted by things like Hermione's code of house elf rights.

And yeah, again you're right. That question mark was a mistake. The sentences before and after had question marks at the end, so I obviously got a little carried away with question marks. Thanks for pointing it out.

Glad you like James and yeah, that's him exactly. He can be mean to Albus, as we saw in the epilogue, but he doesn't really mean to be. He's just thoughtless and doesn't realise how seriously Albus is taking it all.


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Review #18, by Veritaserum27 The Full Moon.

20th September 2014:
Hi there!

I know its been ages since I've left you a review and I'm so sorry. I've a bit of time today and I really want to get back into this story.

I LOVE Rose. She has SO much of Hermione in her. During the entire scene in the Transfigurations lesson, I could just see it unfolding the way that Snape covered for Lupin in PoA. Rose, ever the proper student, guides the professor to the correct lesson so that they don't lose any actual instruction. It was awesome. I don't mean to gush, but you've done such a fabulous job with her character. Putting in just enough Hermione to make us fall in love, but also a bit of her own traits. It's easy to see that Rose doesn't realize she's a twelve year old second year. She clearly is beyond her years. The part where she spoke with Cavendish about her future and got all caught up in the discussion about Ancient Runes was fascinating (Ok, I have to admit, I got caught up in it too!).

I really hope Professor Blackburn is all right. It seems that there might be a bit more bothering her than just the monthly transformation. And of course, nothing gets past Rose. She's all ready to tell off Felicity for looking scared, but the only thing that stops her is the fact that she's late to class - sorting out her priorities, I guess!

I found a small typo here: It can be interpreted many different way.

I think you might mean "ways" instead of "way."

Great chapter!

Beth

Author's Response: Hiya. Thank you so much for the review.

And yeah, you're right about that "way"/"ways". I've fixed that now. Thanks.

The epilogue kind of hinted at a similarity between Rose and Hermione, but I didn't want to just make her Hermione number two, so yeah, there's a bit of Ron in there too. She's got Hermione's intelligence (although she isn't quite as brilliant as Hermione) and her passion for justice, combined with Ron's temper and impulsiveness, which can lead to problems.

Blackburn isn't very well from a combination of the effects of the transformation and all the stress she's under, with the whole A.W.L. campaign and all.

And a quick teaser: things will get worse for her before this story is out.

Thanks again for the review. Glad you enjoyed the chapter. It's one of my own favourites, at least of the earlier chapters. I also like the second chapter and a lot of the ones from about chapter 20 onwards.


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Review #19, by crestwood Professor Blackburn's Secret.

16th September 2014:
Hey! Here for our review swap!

I didn't see that this was the sequel to another story until I had already started reading! I think I'll retroactively read The Writing on the Wall anyway before I move on with this story in the future. But, for now I'm fine with reviewing this chapter even if I haven't gotten through all of the backstory available.

Well Rose is certainly a Ravenclaw, flipping through her textbook over the break! You did a good job writing Hugo as that irritating little brother. He's just teeming for insider info about Hogwarts and a Quidditch analysis and to do a bit of magic. While Rose is just hoping he'll tire himself out and go away.

I'm not entirely sure what happened, but it sounds a lot like something huge occurred the last time Rose was at Hogwarts. The Rita Skeeter article was spot on. I don't know how you wrote as her just, SO well. Of course she starts out her article taking shots at Dumbledore and then plugging her book she wrote about him!

And, Rita has not gotten kinder with age... for her to bring up the spat with Lupin in relation to Ms. Blackburn is a bit underhanded. And not to mention interviewing Marcus Flint, who is certainly not least prejudiced of people.

I do enjoy the second printing of the Prophet as well, with that catching headline. (They always play up events don't they?) The fact that they butchered up Hermione's letter is of no surprise. Again, you've written these articles extremely well. I think this is setting up a really interesting plotline in which we get to see this political process of protecting Ms. Blackburn's rights through the eyes of a child. Even one who seems to have a pretty comprehensive grasp of the situation. Adding in the letter from Alicia Spinnet was a nice touch, I tend to forget about her, to be honest. I would like to see where this is headed. It has a great deal of potential, no doubt. I can't wait to read on. Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Yeah, this is the second year of my next gen, series, so there are a few things that might not be entirely clear. The events of The Writing on the Wall aren't THAT huge, certainly not compared with the Harry Potter books, where Harry comes close to death at the end of most years, but they are pretty major to Rose.

Glad you liked the articles. They were NOT easy to write. Skeeter has such a specific style that it's hard to get her quite right. It's not just a matter of getting her nastiness right, but also capturing the tone in which she does it.

And yeah, being raised by Hermione, Rose has a pretty good grasp of the actual facts. And she is almost 13. I'd been following the news for about 4 years at that stage. However, she does have a pretty naive idea of how events can be dealt with, like "can't they just be stopped from publishing stuff like that?"

I wanted to reference a couple of characters other than the central ones, because it is pretty unlikely that the only people to be interviewed or quoted would be Harry's friends. And the fact that Alicia Spinnet would have been in an exam year when Remus was teaching and they'd such a useless teacher for the year before made her a pretty useful example.

Hope you continue to enjoy the series and thank you so much for the awesome review.


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Review #20, by Pheonix Potioneer Ghostly Information.

12th September 2014:
I feel kind of sorry for Felicity. She doesn't know whether to believe Dora or Rose. I think Rose is a little too tough on her, which is why Felicity turned to the seemingly kind Dora. Rose, a little tip: Fighting doesn't make friends.

I think Rose should have made a bigger deal over the graffiti than the swelling solution.

It could have been Dora who tampered with the potion. It would probably only take a drop of- anything, really- and the potion would be completely ruined. Well, in my head canon anyway.

Kate Campbell does have kind of a point. They miss a few classes every month because of Blackburn, and it does get them behind. However, I think that campaigning for werewolf rights should be the priority.

Rose, calm down. Kate didn't exactly insult Blackburn or werewolves, she just complained about missing classes. I'm glad Rose is determined to defend Blackburn, but that's a little over the top.

It was such a heart-warming moment when Rose and Angie gave Blackburn the sweets.

Have I mentioned how much I love Angie? She's awesome. She doesn't pick fights over Blackburn *cough* Unlike Rose *cough* and instead just does nice, sweet things for Blackburn.

Yay for sweets!

Author's Response: Yeah, Rose probably SHOULD have more focused on the graffiti, which is more likely to freak Felicity out than a joke on somebody she doesn't even know, but to Rose, anything that happens to Albus is far more serious than anything else.

I was so delighted when I checked Prisoner of Azkaban for info on the Wolfsbane potion and found the comment about sugar making it useless, because ANYBODY could do that. I mean, I'd already planned who the villain was and all. The main storyline here was planned soon after I stated the series, but that meant there was a canon way anybody could do it.

Kate DOES have a point. That's got to be one of the difficulties werewolves face in getting jobs - that they are probably going to need to take a certain day off every month, which might be OK, if they are working in a shop or somewhere that is open 6 or 7 days and people have different days off each week or if they are something freelance, but not if they are a teacher or something. Probably a difficulty for people in the real world with certain chronic conditions too.

Now, in normal circumstances, they'd probably only miss maybe 7 or 8 classes a year. Since it's only one day a month and there are two months when they are on summer holiday and then some months the full moon might fall on a Friday or Saturday night or the night before a day they don't have Transfiguration or it might fall during the Easter or Christmas holidays. The year I'm writing about, there is a full moon the night between Good Friday and Holy Saturday. But at the moment, Blackburn is sort of dealing with some mental health issues from stress and trauma, so that's not helping either.

Like I said before, I didn't want to divide the cast up between "nice" people who are completely supportive of Blackburn and "horrible" people like Dora and Victor and his pals and the A.W.L., who just torment her, because there ARE genuine reasons why people might not want a werewolf teaching them or their children (either because of the amount of time they need to take off or because they are scared of a repeat of what happened with Remus - unlikely as it is, it did happen once and it's not IMPOSSIBLE it would happen again and parents are bound to worry when they are sending 11 year olds away from home and overreact about things like that). After all, even Ron, who was raised by the Weasleys panicked when he heard Remus was a werewolf, even though Remus had been teaching him all year and it made no sense to believe he would suddenly become dangerous once they learnt he was a werewolf.

Very few issues are cut and dried and generally if a lot of people support a cause, there is SOME justification for it. Even if it isn't "right."

In a way, I think people like Kate and Felicity might be more upsetting for Blackburn because people like Dora are just trying to be nasty and aren't worth paying attention to, but Kate DOES have a legitimate complaint and Felicity is genuinely frightened and that must sort of make Blackburn question herself. Although neither of them would say anything directly, she'd probably picked up on the fact people are nervous around her, at least and possibly that some of her O.W.L. classes are getting impatient.

Everybody seems to love Angie. *laughs* She wasn't meant to be as significant a character as she's become. She just sort of pushed a bigger part for herself and I do like the relationship between her and Blackburn.


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Review #21, by Leonore Ghostly Information.

7th September 2014:
OK. So you've been hinting at dire things. And I'm about to find out what...

Oh no, those two are talking. One's bad enough, but both Dora and Felicity together?

That Felicity kid is an idiot. I blame the mother.

NO, ROSE, NO. DON'T SAY IT. NO.

She said it. Rose is an idiot. OK, whatever I predicted, I didn't expect that. I didn't expect her to actually tell anyone that it was Dora last year. Rose needs to think before she opens her mouth. Seriously. She's going to regret this later.

Don't let the potion fail. Don't let the potion fail...

Rose is still being an idiot and needs to shut up right now.

She's still bitter about Albus? Yeah, I can see why. But she's actually admitted it to herself, while I think she was above that before. She's admitted to herself that she's determined to prove Dora's involvement for vengeance and not just because she thinks it's the most likely option. And she doesn't even seem to be feeling guilty about it.

Yay, the sweets! That must be a pretty big owl, 'cause they ordered quite a lot.

Aww, Fionnuala's off in her own world. She's still my second favourite character. OK, I probably shouldn't let on to you about that, but I've mentioned it before anyway...

The Grey Lady keeping her company? That is an amazing idea. One I'd never have thought of. Well done McGonagall. *cheers*

YES THE POTION WORKED!

Oh. Poor Blackburn. Vicious cycles - bad transformation means she worries more about the next, so is tired and the transformation is worse...

I love your characterisation of the Grey Lady. Spot on.

Nobody likes Dora. But Rose doesn't deserve to have people like her the way she's acting now either.

*hugs Blackburn* Aww, yay, at least she knows someone cares now.

"Well, almost everybody." NO ROSE. Rose needs to keep her mouth shut and leave the talking to Angie. Chance would be a fine thing.

Sugar. Yes, Blackburn needs sugar. That will make everything alright. And don't try to tell me otherwise, 'cause I'm not going to listen.

"There was something about Madame Pomfrey that made obey any instruction she gave immediately." - spot the missing word!

I've decided I'm not going to hurt you. I like the ending, and even if you're an evil person at least you're not being all mean to Blackburn and she at last knows people care and I'm a bit worried about why Pomfrey's here and I'm sure that's what you want but it's as happy an ending as I can hope for and a lot happier than I expected. I've decided the potion is just for energy or a calming draft or something innocent and to be expected which will help her. And that IS all it is. I will refuse to accept it being anything more serious.

Summary: Rose is an idiot and she's going to regret saying all that. Angie is awesome. Fionnuala is also awesome, in a different way. And Blackburn is not as badly off as I was expecting from your hints.

I like this chapter. You said I wouldn't, but I do. It is maybe my favourite chapter, even though you said I wouldn't like it, because I interpret that as a nice ending. Rose is an idiot and is going to regret saying so much, but whatever, it's only Rose and I don't like Rose.

It's really well written to, and things like the moment Blackburn takes out the sugar quill and stuff are small but perfect. 'Clawesome.

Don't know how to end this review. Oh well, you know I'm random by now...

Bye.

Author's Response: OK, I've inserted the missing word, so that's that sorted.

And yeah, I probably made this chapter out to be a little worse than it really was. I just thought you mightn't be too pleased to see Blackburn unwell.

To be fair, Felicity could find out from just about anybody about Dora being behind what happened the previous year, as it's pretty well-known. Most of the Ravenclaws from 2nd years up would have figured out who'd lost them the points and Scorpius was passing it around too.

And yeah, she sorted of admitted it's Albus she's concerned about more than Blackburn, but doesn't seem to notice that that means she's not really stopping to think whether or not there's even any evidence Dora is involved in whatever might be going on this year.

And yes, I was thinking "the poor owl", but they seem to deliver a fair amount in the books, so it's one of those things I figure I can justify by canon. And the fact they are magic and the parcel could probably be enchanted to weigh less.

The Grey Lady thing was yet more stuff I planned about Blackburn's off-screen time. After all, she was pretty upset before the full moon and probably shouldn't have been alone. She'd probably get herself pretty worked up, waiting for the transformation to take place. OK, she was going to do that anyway, but it might help a bit to have somebody to talk to. And I thought the Grey Lady being the Ravenclaw ghost and a young woman, probably around Blackburn's age or a bit younger, wouldn't be a bad choice (I mean, around Blackburn's age when she died - clearly she's been around about a thousand years. And then I thought I should make some reference to it here.

And I'm glad you think I characterised her well. It was one of the things I found hard. I was even questioning whether she would put herself out like that, but she does seem like a nice person behind her reserved persona.

And yeah, Angie sort of knows what it's like to be stressed out, so she's a little more careful about what she says than Rose is, as Rose has had a comparatively easy life.

And yes, sugar might help Blackburn, either because of the energy boost or just because it might make her feel a little better, psychologically.

I will reassure you there's nothing too serious about the potion Madame Pomfrey brought her. It's probably slightly more serious than the options you're hoping for, but not by much. She's just generally feeling pretty unwell from a combination of stress and the effects of the transformation, but she'll be fine in a couple of days.


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Review #22, by Teddy1993 Shocks and Sugar Quills.

16th August 2014:
Great chapter. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Sorry for the delay and hope you continue to enjoy it.

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Review #23, by Pheonix Potioneer Shocks and Sugar Quills.

15th August 2014:
Dora! Really, practically insulting Blackburn in class? She's asking to be hated. I don't get Dora most of the time. What is the point of an outburst like that? She just makes everyone in Ravenclaw hate her more and more. Does she have any friends? If not, why does she seem to purposely try NOT to make friends? Is there a reason besides plot why she's a Ravenclaw and not a Slytherin? Also, are you planning in future years to have Dora's character improve a little bit or a bit more relatable, like J.K. Rowling did with Draco?

I'm glad that Blackburn's reason for missing a class isn't particularly bad.

That is nice of them all to give Blackburn sweets. Kudos to Rose for thinking of that! (And to Angie for giving Rose the idea.) I think that is a good thing to do, rather than just say something like "Are you okay?" after class when Blackburn probably just wants some peace and quiet.

When did Blackburn mention the sugar quill thing to Angie? They seem really close. Maybe because the can sympathize with each other, because of their parents.

Most of the kids in the class (except Dora) seem unnaturally polite. It's kind of weird.

Over the course of the series, are you planning for each book to get darker, or mostly stay like this? Spill your secrets! Ha ha ha.

Great chapter! (That great was from Tony the Tiger, from the Frosted Flakes cereal commercial)

Author's Response: Hmm, some interesting questions here. OK, I've only planned as far as Year Four, so I can't really tell you how the series is going to go overall. So far, I would say the end of Year 3 and sort of Year 4 (which will include the use of an Unforgiveable) will be somewhat darker, but not Harry Potter-level dark. These are generally plain mysteries rather than action/adventure and the A.W.L. is a far cry from the Death Eaters. They're willing to work outside the law to get what they want, but they're not planning to take over wizarding Britain by force or anything, so we're not going to end up with multiple deaths or anything. Apart from anything else, I sort of feel that after everything Harry and his friends risked and lost, I don't want to make them watch their children go through the same thing. I like READING stories in which that happens though.

So in conclusion, things will get a little darker, but it's going to remain at individual people being harmed rather than whole groups being rounded up or multiple deaths.

As regards Dora, hmm, that's a hard one to answer without giving away details about year 3. It's also something I haven't entirely decided. I am planning on having Rose and Albus begin to realise later on that Dora's choices may be rather limited in some situations. I mean, what she did in The Writing on the Wall was definitely just personal and her way of getting back at Albus for how Harry messed things up for her family, but she has been given a very distorted version of the events of the wizarding war (not, of course, that that makes it OK; even if Harry HAD purposely framed her grandfather or something, it STILL wouldn't be his son's fault) and she did WANT to give Blackburn's secret away, but even if she hadn't, her father'd probably have got it out of her anyway. Not by forcing it out of her, but just because there's a good chance she'd let something slip at some stage.

Knew somebody was going to ask how Angie knew about Blackburn liking sugar quills. *laughs* Probably that day Angie was upset over the boggart and spent the entire evening in Blackburn's office. I think it's likely Blackburn would have offered her some sweets and just happened to mention, "oh those are my favourites."

And yeah, I definitely think Blackburn knows how Angie feels when it comes to pressures at home. I wouldn't imagine Angie knows about Blackburn's parents, but she certainly knows there's prejudice against Blackburn over something she can't help, just as she's been judged by her family. So there is a lot of sympathy between them.

And yeah, Blackburn probably doesn't want to have to reassure students she's OK, when she's really not, but at the same time, she's probably grateful they are thinking of her.

And now you've made me want Frosties (or Frosted Flakes).


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Review #24, by Leonore Shocks and Sugar Quills.

15th August 2014:
Right. I have my teddy bear. You've been scaring me about this chapter.

Um, uh oh. This is really not a promising start.

Missing apostrophe - "From the looks on her classmates' faces,"

Dora's smirking again. Surprise surprise.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO BLACKBURN? CUT THE SUSPENSE!

*laughs at Neville having dropped his wand*

I would expect a question mark here, to indicate the way it's spoken: "Yes, Rose?"
Missing word: "...and that if she just waited..."

Phew. I mean I don't like that Blackburn's not sleeping well but at least Dora isn't directly responsible (again).

Oh. Oh no. Here's the bit you were talking about.

"Rose had the impression she was quite stressed." This sentence isn't really necessary. The previous sentence shows very effectively that Blackburn's stressed, so you don't need to state it explicitly. In fact stating it like that detracts a little from the effect.

Oh no, she's blaming herself for being on edge. Vicious circles.

That kid is unbelievable: "On edge about what, Professor?" Dora asked slyly. "Turning into a werewolf tonight?"
Good response from Blackburn, at least. But really? Dora is a disgusting creature with no sense of decency.

Missing word: "Can you just get on with your transfigurations, please?"

Punctuation: "How could anybody, even Dora, ask something so hurtful?"

"She looked pretty upset." Well duh! Genius, Rose. Maybe more effective to "show, not tell"? Although why I'm encouraging you to torture her in even more description I don't know. Plenty of that already. But yes, write what makes her look pretty upset to Rose, rather than simply stating it.

DORA IS SMIRKING AGAIN. HEX HER, ROSE. But then Blackburn would have to give Rose detention. But Rose would then have time alone with Blackburn to maybe talk to her. Blackburn would probably feel so much guilt about having to give Rose detention for protecting her, but she'd do it because that's her job (and Dora would get her fired otherwise). But Rose could point out she didn't care, that it was worth it. But then Blackburn would feel the professional sense that she hadn't given an appropriate punishment. But... ARGH, THIS IS CONFUSING. JUST HEX DORA, ROSE, AND NOT IN FRONT OF BLACKBURN.

HEX HER

No, Rose. Don't mention Dora's parentage. That would just be hypocritical.

NO BLACKBURN, STOP FEELING GUILTY ABOUT BEING TENSE. IT'S PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE. *squished Blackburn in a giant hug*.

"I think Blackburn's pretty stressed," GENIUS, Rose. I mean seriously.

Chocolate. Yes, she needs chocolate. Aww, they're all so sweet. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS GO WRONG. CAN THIS PLEASE JUST BE A NICE GIFT?

Fionnuala made a good suggestion. That's character development! She's aware of what's going on! Nathan's still stumbling around, though! Aww, they're so cruel to him. :P

"a small pile of gold" - if they've only got 14 sickles and 5 knuts, the pile is mostly silver, no gold. (Technicalities :P )

Fionnuala is very involved in this! Fully awake and conscious and making very sensible suggestions! (CHOCOLATE!!!)

Yay, it hasn't lead to disaster! (at least not yet) Those kids are so sweet. Please can this make Blackburn happy? Or at least a bit less miserable? Pretty please? *Dobby eyes* (Apparently Dobby eyes work on JKR herself; so they must work on you too, right?)

Author's Response: Thank you so, so much for this awesome review. *hugs you*

I've corrected those mistakes. I don't usually make so many. I just ended up rewriting most of this chapter as a lot of it sounded REALLY bad the first time and then got so fed up with it that I couldn't be bothered editing properly. So I knew there'd be a few words and punctuation missing, but I decided to post it anyway. *laughs* I've been working on this chapter for a couple of weeks, so got to a point beyond caring.

The parts about Rose thinking she's stressed or upset were more to show what Rose is worrying about, but you're right; apart from anything else, it flows better if I leave out that "Rose had the impression she was quite stressed" line, so I've removed it. Plus, there are too many of those comments. Something else I'd have noticed if I'd read it through in one go, rather than writing a few hundred words at a time.

*prods self over the gold/silver thing* I actually meant to check that, but forgot.

And yes, Blackburn is working herself up into a complete state, isn't she? But you know, it's one of the hard parts of being a teacher (and one you don't think of until you're in the situation) - you're supposed to be the adult and the person responsible, which can add extra pressure if you're already stressed or upset about something.

Hmm, I'm not entirely sure about Blackburn's response. In a way, it is letting Dora know how much it's getting to her.

Oh, believe me, a certain amount of that stuff about Blackburn seeing Rose hex Dora occurred to me too. I definitely think she'd be torn between knowing that as their teacher she should punish Rose, being grateful that at least somebody is concerned about her and feeling guilty for having set the whole thing in motion, so to speak. And I think that if Rose said it was worth it, she'd both think Rose was just saying that and also that she should be discouraging her from thinking that way.

I agree it would be hypocritical to give away Dora's family background and while there are many things Dora should be blamed for, her family isn't exactly something she can help. Rose just finds it hard to keep quiet Dora is mocking others for not mentioning stuff, when she isn't herself. And Rose can be somewhat impulsive.

*laughs at your comment that Blackburn needs chocolate*

And do you really think I'd make them giving her sweets go wrong? *grins evilly* No, seriously, that is just a gift, that's all. I'm not even sure how it COULD go wrong.

You really expect me to be consistently nasty, don't you? With good reason, I expect.


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Review #25, by Leonore Howling at the Moon.

22nd July 2014:
*gathers Blackburn into a big hug* You're not having her back unless you promise to play nicely! *glares*

Yes! That bacon! They definitely did deserve it.

"Roosters aren't animals," she pointed out. "They're birds."
Honestly, Rose... Considering the official scientific definition of an "animal" (with assistance, as ever, from Wikipedia): Animals are multicellular, eukaryotic organisms of the kingdom Animalia (also called Metazoa). Animals are divided into various subgroups, including vertebrates (birds, mammals, amphibians, reptiles, fish). Roosters are birds. Therefore Rose is actually incorrect: roosters ARE animals (just not mammals).

Ahem. Yes. I have a habit of picking out things like that (I wrote a short essay brit-picking on washing machines in a review for someone not that long ago).

Poor Scorpius. He's making stupid decisions, but I can see why. I suppose you can make his life hard, and Angie's, and anyone else's you feel like, but I'm keeping Blackburn. *glares again*

I want to say at least Dora'll fail Transfiguration, but then she'd blame Blackburn and there'd be charges of incompetence not just of being a werewolf.

Haha, Binns is a useless teacher.

I'm all caught up now :D (I just reviewed this chapter not the next one because what I have more to say about it specifically). Bye bye! *waves*

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you for this review. It made me laugh out loud and cheered me up on a somewhat stressful day.

And I LOVE your nitpicking. LOVE you proving Rose wrong. You need to have a conversation with her. She needs to be proven wrong occasionally, I think. She's a little too sure of herself. And Albus isn't sure ENOUGH of himself. *laughs*

Please feel free to Brit-pick anything that isn't quite right in these stories. Sentence structure is what can be most difficult actually as I am progressively beginning to reaise we use a fair bit of Irish-language sentence structure directly translated into English, one of the most obvious being "I'm after doing..." instead of "I have done..." I once spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out how non-Irish people would say "it's after snowing." "It has snowed?" "It's has been snowing?" "It's snowed?"

Scorpius was actually about the hardest character for me to characterise, as it seems like both the idea of him being a repeat of Draco and the idea of him being completely different and having to prove himself have been used so often. I've seen both done fantastically, but that's the point. I didn't want to just copy something I'd already seen somebody else do. I guess he is different and trying to prove himself a bit in this, but mostly he's too caught up in Quidditch to even bother about proving himself.

And I liked the idea of a Slytherin who is ambitious in a non-typical way. It's not wealth he wants or to be the centre of attention, but rather to excel in his chosen area. We haven't seen much of that kind of ambition in the series, probably because most of the main characters - Harry, Ron, Sirius, Hagrid - are rather biased against Slytherins.

And yeah, Dora and her father would probably blame Blackburn if she fails Transfiguration. She can't really win on that one, because if she tries to make Dora work, she's setting herself up for hassle. Of course what she SHOULD do is report Dora whenever she makes comments. And people like Flint too. But considering she can barely hear the word "werewolf" without getting upset, I don't think she'd find it too easy to discuss their behaviour.

And yes, Binns is useless.

Thanks again.


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