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23 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rumpelstiltskin I.M.

7th March 2014:
I'm back for the last chapter (Blackout 14/15 for square two)!

Again, I've never had the pleasure of reading a Mulciber story before. Also, I like the way this has all been set up, if I might mention that. First, with the Dementor's kiss, then the trial, then wandering somewhere in the world, and this one is in Azkaban. I love the way that each of these are different, yet they tie together wonderfully.

Anyway, I love the way you've portrayed him (here I go again, complimenting your characterization). He's a true believer in Voldemort's cause, and can't possibly contemplate where things went wrong! That's another element you've added to this short series: Fenrir was a supporter of his own cause, Draco supported his family, Rodolphus supported love, and Mulciber truly supported the Dark Lord.

I keep getting sidetrack. So, you did a wonderful job on the descriptions for the horrors of Azkaban, as well as Mulciber's depleting mental stability. I suppose that Azkaban truly drove him to insanity.

This was a fantastic little series! Lovely job on all of the chapters ♥!

-Rumpel

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Review #2, by Rumpelstiltskin R.L.

7th March 2014:
You know the drill (Blackout number 13/15 for square two)!

I have to admit, that I've never had the pleasure of reading a story about Rodolphus Lestrange, so this is quite exciting for me! I think that the manner in which you've portrayed him here was actually very sweet. He fell in love (with Bellatrix, of all people). Thus, he knows pain, suffering, and loss. You've definitely made me sympathize with him in this, which I didn't ever think I would have.

What shocked me the most was his final decision, the "third option". With the large capacity for love and compassion that you've portrayed him with, there is a chance that things may have gone differently for him, if only the person that he loved wasn't so...manically sadistic and batty crazy.

This definitely altered my headcannon of what Rodolphus could have been like, so thank you for that!

-Rumpel

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Review #3, by Rumpelstiltskin D.M.

7th March 2014:
I'm back with the Blackout (number 12/15 of square two).

It's so easy to sympathize with Draco, because we, as readers, have a more inside view of what actually happened during the war to provide us with more grounds for accurate speculation. The appeal that Voldemort was making was making *had* to be hard to resist, especially when your loved ones are on his side. Even Dumbledore said in DH that when Grindelwald proposed similar ideas, that he and Dumbledore could rule the wizarding world together, that it was difficult to resist that temptation.

It's understandable that Draco would be at a loss for words, because how could he possible make them understand what happened? He had no proof of his innocence, because he *was* involved in war crimes, whether he wanted to be or not.

I'm really satisfied with the way this turned out, with Harry coming to help Draco out. I was almost afraid that, in this version, Draco may face the Dementors simply because he didn't have any proof. Then again, once Harry found out several things about Draco, what he was doing, having that understanding about loyalty to your family, then Harry could provide all the proof Draco needed.

Fantastic job!

-Rumpel

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Review #4, by Rumpelstiltskin F.G.

7th March 2014:
I'm here for Blackout Bingo (number 11/15 of square two, to keep track)!

Death Eaters are definitely under one of my areas of interest, so I'm really excited to read this, especially this part on Fenrir. There are several elements that I really love about this part. First, Fenrir feels no guilt nor any regret. Because he had a specific mission, and because of what we know of his canon characterization, I believe that this is extremely accurate.

The second element that I loved was Fenrir's feelings towards Remus Lupin. Lupin represented a struggle against lycanthropy, which, in turn, was against Fenrir's cause. If he truly wished to create a strong force, turning as many people as possible into werewolves, then surely Lupin was symbolic of everything that he hated -- Lupin was against his own condition.

Lastly, when Fenrir has to face the Dementor, knowing his fate, he does so without fear. He might be vanquished, stirring a range of emotions from anger and rage to thoughtfulness, but never fear, because that was not in his nature.

Overall, I think you did a really fantastic job with this!

-Rumpel

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Review #5, by MyMyMiss D.M.

7th March 2014:
Hi hun,

First of all let me just say that I love the thought's running through Draco's mind as he is seated for his execution. I think you did a great job of the 'new' Draco Malfoy at the end and the emotionless but still filled with fear and timidness at the start - I thought it was really courageous for you to take on such a challenge of writing the two in the same story. That was really good.

I also like how Harry jumped to his defense and cleared him of all charges - that was a real Gryffie thing (: it made me proud to see your house spirit in one of your stories! If I could say one thing though, I think maybe I would of liked to of seen more interaction between Kingsley and Harry while he was clearing Draco of all charges - maybe like Kingsley thinking about it a little harder? or even Harry like demanding to let him off because kingsley still can't see it - maybe just a little more detail would of been nice, but apart from that it was a beautifully written, and full of emotion story!!

Wwell done hun, keep up the good work.

~MMM: Slytherin and gryffie blackout battle.

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Review #6, by quixotic I.M.

27th August 2013:
Hi! I'm here to review your entry for the Death Eater Challenge!

This is one of the most darkest things that I have ever read. I was literally shaking with fear by the end of it. Your description is so good in some areas, especially during the part about the walls of Azkaban. It showed exactly how insane Mulciber had become.

I've read a lot of entries in this challenge that try and analyze why a Death Eater turned out so bad. You just jumped into the story saying that Mulciber was evil, no two ways around it. He deserved the punishment he got. And what a scary punishment that was. I found myself feeling irrationally sad for Mulciber (I'm such a pussy) because of what he had to go through for the rest of his life. For eternity. It is just me or does that word have an amount of spookiness attached to it?

It was a beautifully written story that was a pleasure to read. Thanks for participating in my challenge!

Author's Response: Hello there!

Yes, this piece ended up being very dark, although writing his descent to madness was rather enjoyable (and I may have worsened his suffering because I wrote this on a rather uncomfortable airplane ride).

In the three earlier chapters, I really tried to soften up each character, and show that they weren't really all that bad, but I decided it was high time for a character that was really a baddie all along. :)

Thanks for the review, and for such an awesome challenge!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #7, by Lululuna R.L.

1st June 2013:
Hello! :) I'm finally here for your review, and I'm very sorry about the wait!

I really liked this chapter, and the incredible depth you brought to the typically flat, evil Lestrange. I love the idea that he actually truly loved Bellatrix, and it was interesting how that kind of developed after they were married, and how the traits which made her so awful- her determination and single-mindedness- made him love her.

I felt so sad for Lestrange, both because Bellatrix couldn't really care to love him back, and because of how desperate he is. It's interesting how he's not so upset about the fall of Voldy as he is about losing his Bella.

I think you could consider fleshing this lovely short out a little more and adding more memories and depth. I really liked how with Greyback you went back to certain events in his life and really created a full picture, and I'd love to see more of that with this chapter. Even just little details, like how he and Bellatrix got involved with Voldy, his relationship with his brother or the Black sisters or other cronies, whether they ever considered having children, or being separated in Azkaban could be fun to add! :)

Also, am I right in thinking this is the last chapter? I think you should consider writing more anecdotes, and giving a really full picture of many of the Death Eaters. It's such a cool idea and you've gone into such thoughtful depth, and I'd love to read more! One idea I had that might be kind of cool could be to end the story with a chapter about Voldy himself, in the few moments as he died or what became of the remnants of his soul... or even how the rest of the wizarding world recovered and treated the other DEs! There's so much potential and so many people's fates to explore, and you write it so well! :)

I hope this review was at least a little helpful, and I really enjoyed following your story! You're always welcome to request for another story! :)

Author's Response: Hi! It's no biggie - as you can see, it's taken me a while to respond too.

I really love fleshing out flat characters, because there's so much you can to with them. It's so often assumed that the Lestranges had a loveless marriage, so I decided to completely challenge that here. :)

I really like that idea of adding more details to his story, and I may go back and do that soon!

This technically was the last chapter, however, I may be writing a fourth for a challenge, so there may be more!

I'm glad you liked this, and thanks so much for reviewing!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #8, by nott theodore D.M.

1st June 2013:
Hello! Here for the Gryffie review tag.

I'm actually really pleased I got a chance to come back and read the second part of this story, because I really like your writing style and the way that these stories focus on one short moment but explore much more than that.

This is a really different interpretation of Draco's character - I certainly haven't seen it before. I like the idea that most of his resentment of Harry comes from the fact that he feels constantly overshadowed by him rather than looking down on him, which is the impression that we always get in the books. I actually really like this idea, because I find it very believable. There is always constant pressure on Draco, especially from his family, to uphold the pureblood values and do his best because it reflects on the family name; being constantly eclipsed by Harry can't have been easy for him.

I also liked the fact that Draco felt humiliated and maybe even a little resentful towards Harry for saving him. I thought that was really great characterisation.

Another aspect of his characterisation I enjoyed was the way that Draco was scared and regretful, but that he couldn't deny the fact that at one point the had wanted to be part of the Death Eaters. I think the lure of the glory that his family promised him would come with signing up would have meant Draco wanted to join, but he realised his mistake and regretted the decision since then.

The ending was another element I really enjoyed. I got the impression that the resolution was the sort of grand promise people make to themselves, but never actually manage to keep. Still, it's nice to think that he realised what he'd done and did want to change and make the future better.

The only CC I'd have is that it does seem that Draco gets off a little too easily. Even with Harry's testimony, I find it a little hard to believe that there was no punishment at all, especially since the majority of the Wizengamot wouldn't have been privy to the sort of information that Kingsley probably had. Perhaps Draco could receive a minor punishment or Harry could go into more detail about things Draco had done to go against Voldemort?

I really enjoyed this instalment, and I hope I get a chance to come back and read the third soon!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!

I'm glad you liked the way I characterized Draco. Looking at life from his perspective, it always seems like he's overshadowed by Harry, so I tried to put that into writing here. Draco definitely seems like the type to be lured into the allure of the Death Eater lifestyle, but I never thought he was that evil of a character either.

I'm glad you saw that resolution of his for what it was. I feel like an essential part of human nature is that we make these grandiose promises to ourselves that we never actually fulfill, but they make us feel good to begin with - and that's what his resolution was intended to be.

As for him being let off, I definitely see that - I've actually had other people tell me the same! I wrote that scene at like 3 am, and I guess my brain wasn't at full-functioning level, because I've read over it, and it changes around really quickly. I definitely need to edit that soon!

I'm glad you enjoyed this, and thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #9, by adluvshp F.G.

31st May 2013:
Hey! Here for your requested review from the forums. Sorry it took me a while.

This was surely an interesting piece of writing. I liked how you wrote from Fenrir's point of view and gave him a backstory that sort of went with canon in a way. You expressed his 'emotions' quite well too and I was definitely drawn into the piece while reading.

Your vocabulary, grammar, and over all writing style was pretty good as well and the narrative flowed smoothly. I absolutely enjoyed your descriptions, they were nicely written and brought the scene to life. As I mentioned before, Fenrir's characterization was pretty well done.

The only CC I'd give you is to perhaps include a bit more sensory detail - such as more visual descriptions and imagery. It would definitely enhance the mood of the story and make it all the more interesting.

Apart from that, this was pretty good and I enjoyed it. Feel free to re-request for the next chapter!

9/10
Cheers!
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hi!

Fenrir was a fun character to write about, because he's kind of a fill-in-the-blank character, because we know he's a werewolf, and that he works for Voldemort, but not much else, so there's a lot of room for interpretation.

I'm glad you thought it flowed well, and that the characterization was good. :)

I may go back and add in some sensory detail, because I agree, it would make the story more interesting.

Thanks so much for reviewing, and I'll definitely be back for the second chapter!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #10, by Broken Butterfly R.L.

30th May 2013:
Great chapter. I never expected Love to me an emotion that would be associated with bella and RL but you managed it beautifully. Characterization was good in here and I actully feel a hint of sorrow for R.L. Great job.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I definitely think it's assumed that the relationship between Bella and Rodolphus was loveless, so it was fun to mix that up a little bit.

Thanks so much for reviewing this!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #11, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing R.L.

30th May 2013:
Hello again!

I'm kind of gutted this is your last chapter - I've loved reading your interpretation of these three characters and I wish I could read some more! You've done an amazing job so if you ever decided to extend it, I think it would work well.

You've again completely changed how someone might view this character. I've never really given much thought to Rodolphus as a person, he's usually completely forgotten due to his maniac of a wife, but I love this take on him.

Having him actually fall in love with Bella but be completely torn as a, he shouldn't have and b, she doesn't love him like that anyway was really interesting to read. I loved this line: 'In the time that they were married, Rodolphus had done the forbidden. He had fallen in love.'/ It just gave me chills. You then brought into it that he is pretty much competing with Voldemort for her affections and it makes it pretty much a hopeless situation for him. I've never thought how it must have been for him to watch Bella fawn over Voldemort but whether he loved her or not it must have been hard.

The ending was really done well. I wasn't sure where you were going to take it to be honest but I think it worked well. I can't believe how sad you made me feel for him!

I really hope you decide to do more in the future - I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed reading these snippets!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

I actually may be adding a fourth chapter to this - I think I came up with another idea. :)

Rodolphus is definitely one of those characters that gets pushed into the background, so I'm glad you liked this take on him!

I'm glad you liked that line - it was one of my favourites to write. :)

I'm glad you liked the way it ended, and thanks so much for reviewing these! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #12, by Broken Butterfly D.M.

28th May 2013:
Great Characterization and plot. I really like how Draco hates where is is and how he is being treated but still reminiscs in what it felt like to have power. This is really good. Nice that Potter came to save him too.

Author's Response: Draco was a really fun character to play with, and I thought that it would only be fitting that Harry comes to save him, just because it's yet another way that Harry manages to unintentionally humiliate Draco. Thanks for reviewing!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #13, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing D.M.

25th May 2013:
Hi again :)

I really enjoyed this second installment of your story! Your take on Draco was both thought provoking as well as true to the Draco we see in the book. I loved his arrogance was still there, but you also got in his fear of being with the other death eaters. I also loved how you had him feeling like he was in Harry's shadow, something I don't think many people have explored.

One bit of CC I would offer is too maybe rethink how quickly Shacklebolt let Draco off the hook. Harry gives him one piece of evidence and all is forgiven. I would have thought there would have to be much more from Harry and Draco still might get something - sort of like community service if he was a muggle?

The ending was perfect, Draco actually manning up and saying thank you. It worked really well. Even if Harry was a little shocked.

I really can't tell you how much I'm enjoying reading your take on these characters. These little snippets are really well thought out so well done to you!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing this!

I really love Draco as a character, because I feel like he's got so much unexplored depth to his character.

I definitely see what you mean about how quickly he was let off the hook. I wrote this rather late at night, and now that I look back on it, that part does seem quite rushed. I will definitely fix that ASAP!

I'm glad you've enjoyed these little snippets! :) I will be reviewing your second chapter ASAP as well!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #14, by Elphaba and Boyfriends R.L.

25th May 2013:
I have to admit that at first I wondered who R.L. was, because he was so overshadowed by Bellatrix that I forgot he even existed! So it's great that you focus on him here and develop him into a real character.

It's almost always assumed that their marriage was loveless, so it was refreshing to read that he loved her. I love his reasons for loving her: "Anyone who met her would know that once she devoted herself to something, she went for it whole-heartedly."

You do a very good job of showing how lost he is without her. I thought his train of thought became a little repetitive toward the end: "His world was crumbling around him. But his world was gone, really. Because his world was Bellatrix," but this makes sense as it parallels his aimless physical path through the forest.

I really like where you end it: he's apparently made a decision but hasn't carried It out, yet. It's a bit chilling, as was the ending of the first chapter but in a different way.

The story as a whole feels complete, and yet think there's room for you to write more if you're struck with more ideas. :) Great job overall!

Author's Response: I agree, Rodolphus is really a forgotten character, which was why it was so much fun to write about him!

I loved playing on that assumption, because while it's clear that Bellatrix loves Voldemort, we really know nothing about Rodolphus's feelings.

Haha, yes, Bellatrix's devotion is really one of her only redeeming qualities, so I definitely had to zero in on it!

I'm glad you think the story rounded out well, and I may very well go back and add more chapters later on, if I ever get another idea! Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #15, by Elphaba and Boyfriends D.M.

23rd May 2013:
Hi, Elphaba back again! I really enjoyed this chapter.

This may be my favorite passage: "Dumbledore had told him that night that he wasn't a killer. Draco, in a burst of the childish arrogance he had been raised with, had denied it."

I like this a lot too: "Ever since the very first day they'd met, Potter had an excellent knack of making Draco feel like a blubbering idiot." Your perspective on Draco's psyche would definitely surprise Harry. I find it fascinating that Draco doesn't look down on Harry, but feels like he's always existed in his shadow. I love this interpretation; I think there's a lot of truth in it. :)

While I do think the Wizengamot would go easy on Draco as a result of Harry's testimony, I think it is too much of a stretch to let him off completely. I think it would be more likely that they'd give him a light sentence. Or (if you feel that Harry should get him completely off the hook) you could add a few more points to Harry's testimony -- he saw that Draco was not going to go through with murdering Dumbledore, heard Dumbledore offer him asylum, and was aware that Draco's family was in danger.

Overall, I think this is a great piece! :) I'm looking forward to the third chapter.

Author's Response: I love Draco, considering he has a lot of depth to his character, and I've always imagined that he's always felt a little overshadowed by Harry, so I definitely focused on that here.

I re-read this the other day, and I definitely see what you mean regarding the rushed decision. I wrote this really late at night - as in, 3 AM or so - so I clearly wasn't paying close enough attention to what I was writing, because it does get kind of jumpy there.

Thanks for the review! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #16, by Elphaba and Boyfriends F.G.

22nd May 2013:
Hi, Elphaba here with your requested review!

I like your perspective on Fenrir Greyback. I've never sympathized with him, but you make a strong case for empathy, here.

There are many lines that rung very true to me, like this: "if he was already a disgusting and vicious creature, why not make the most of it?"

There's one word that I might change in this sentence: "That Remus Lupin character had done it." Instead of the word 'character', which makes me conscious of the fact I'm reading a work of fiction, why not use a synonym that Fenrir might use (bloke or fellow or wanker or bastard or prat or chap)?

I also really likes this: "...couldn't help but feel a little relieved that Lupin would no longer be around to convince other werewolves to repress their nature." I like that you give Greyback some depth -- and a reason to dislike Lupin.

The only thing I feel is maybe missing from this chapter is physical description of Greyback. Has he lost weight in prison? Is he still dressed in rags? Does he fidget or sit still? This isn't a big deal, it would just be a nice touch.

Here's another line that had me nodding my head: "He had joined the Dark Lord's ranks not because he was afraid of the man, but rather because it was convenient." I agree with this 100%.

And this line got me thinking, too: "Maybe he could have fought his brutish side harder, but there was no joy in that. Only toil." I think it sheds some perspective on Lupin, as well.

I also really like the final line. :) I'm looking forward to reading the next two chapters!

Author's Response: I'm glad you started to feel for him, as that was really my goal here. Oh gosh, I loved giving Fenrir depth.

The "character" thing, I definitely see your point. Maybe it's just me, but I do refer to people as characters, but I see how it could be seen the other way as well. I may edit that in the future. :)

Also, with the physical description, I like that as well, so I may add that in as well.

I'm glad you liked that final line - I did too. :)

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #17, by Lululuna D.M.

21st May 2013:
Hello! I'm back for your next requested review, and sorry about the delay! :)

This is another great chapter, and you captured a really interesting side of Malfoy. I like how you've gone into his fate after the war, and how he actually was at risk of being put into Azkaban. It's refreshing that the wizarding world would be willing to give young people like Malfoy a second chance, despite the mistakes they made. I also really liked how Harry stood up for him, despite their differences, and I definitely think it's something Harry would do.

I liked the line about Malfoy not wanting to be grouped in with the other DE. He always thought he was unique and deserved special treatment, but for once he doesn't want to be part of his father's group and be recognized for fear: he just wants to be free and normal. It suggests that maybe he had doubts before, and sees himself as seperate from that old DE identity.

I liked how Draco felt a little humiliated that Harry had saved his life: it was very in character. I don't think that the war would have changed him entirely, and that he'd for the most part continue being a rather rotten person, but I like the contrasts in his personality and his character growth that we see here. :) I kind of suspect that he won't be too polite and kind in the future, but it was a nice thought of Draco to have! :P

I really like the style of these stories so far, how they focus around one moment and retreat to flashbacks and context. It flows really smoothly, and tells the reader why the characters are the way they are in that particular moment. Your writing is very clear, but packs a lot of emotion through the simple structure. I love it! :)

Feel free to re-request!! :)

Author's Response: Haha, that's fine! Sorry about the delay responding to this too! :P

Draco was a fun character to explore - and I think rescuing him was a very Harry-esque move. :)

The ending there is kind of one of those things where you make this promise to be better, although it may not work out as perfectly as you intended. I can't imagine Draco becoming this great guy, but he could definitely aspire for that.

I'm glad you like the style - it was really fun to write this way.

Thanks so much for reviewing, and I will definitely re-request! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #18, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing F.G.

21st May 2013:
Hi Taylor!

Wow! This really blew me away. I wasn't sure what to expect when I read the summary and it certainly wasn't this! I didn't think anyone would make me actually feel sorry for Fenrir Greyback but you actually did here.

I've never read anyone give Greyback a background before and I like how you kind of both compared and contrasted it to Lupin growing up and how they dealt wih it. They both struggled to start with but Lupin's parents didn't shun him and Dumbledore accepted him into school where he made friends who didn't care that he was a werewolf. Greyback got none of those things which is the justification in his mind for doing what he did.

You wrote the part with the dementor amazingly well. You got the chilling nature and atmosphere just right. I almost wanted him to escape by the end! What have you done to me! I was quite happy disliking him as a character until I read this haha!!

Seriously though, this was amazing as a first chapter, I was hooked from the start. You really took me on a rollercoster of emotions and I can't wait for the next chapter!!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hi Lauren! I'm glad I made you feel sympathy for Fenrir, as that was sort of my goal here. :)

I really enjoyed drawing the comparisons between Fenrir and Remus, because it just shows how much a person's treatment can affect how they turn out.

I'm glad you liked this - thanks for reviewing! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #19, by Broken Butterfly F.G.

19th May 2013:
Hi there, its Broken Butterfly here with your review.
I'm so sorry for such the long turnaround time... finals and stuff.

I enjoyed this. It was written very well, and of course there was a lot of discription. I really think your plot is captivationg.
I like how you describe a side of FG that nobody else would think of. Why he became the monster he was. Why he really did the things he did. I think that the element you used with emotions in this chapter was superb. He was lonley and I think that it is fair for him to be so especially at the age he was when he was bitten. Then again with him not being afraid of anything until the very end. This was really good. I hope my review helps.
BB

Author's Response: Not a problem! I know how that can be.

I'm glad you liked all those elements of my story. It's definitely fun to get inside the heads of different characters!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #20, by Calypso  F.G.

19th May 2013:
Firstly, I've got to say what an awesome idea I think this is! I'm all for anything that shows different sides to characters, and this certainly did that!

I thought you got into Greyback's head perfectly, and actually managed to make his actions seem logical, if not sympathetic. It seemed very realistic that his violence would be motivated by his own loneliness and loss. I loved the way you had him compare himself with Lupin, as their experiences of lycanthropy are certainly very different! And you raised the very interesting question of whether werewolves are better off being outcasts in normal, magical society like Lupin, or embracing their wolfishness, like Fenrir...

And your Dementors were absolutely chilling! They really gave me the creeps. I sort of like to think that the Ministry would have stopped using Dementors after Voldemort's defeat, but it did work very well with your story... I loved the horrible irony that he only admitted that he had a heart moments before it was taken from him...

A brilliant insight into a usually maligned character! I really enjoyed this :)

-Bethany

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the exposure of the other sides of the characters - I definitely do too, hence this little mini-collection! :)

The contrast between Fenrir and Remus was definitely fun to play upon, because it shows just how much outside interactions can shape a person's character.

Yes, that irony was fun. Irony is seriously one of my favourite literary elements, so I love incorporating it whenever I can!

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #21, by TenthWeasley F.G.

16th May 2013:
I love reading stories about the Death Eaters -- and here, you most definitely did not disappoint. There's a lot more to most of them in that the seeming evil on the surface masks a lot of hidden emotions, and I think you nailed that really well with Fenrir Greyback in this first story. Interestingly enough, he's probably one of the Death Eaters I myself haven't explored as far as his motivations are concerned, but I think you tackled them adeptly.

It just makes a lot of sense to me that one of the things that would most drive him to be such a vicious werewolf was loneliness. Remus always had his friends, the Order, and Tonks, and never needed to create werewolves for fear of being lonely if he didn't. His parents didn't kick him out of the house; Dumbledore didn't kick him out of school. But if the circumstances were different, it's not at all hard to believe that he might have ended up something a bit like Greyback.

I also really liked how the story ended, too; it's like we saw a breaking down of this man's tough exterior. At the beginning of the story he was untouchable, invincible... and by the end he knew indubitable fear, perhaps for the first time ever. In one thousand words you turned him from a monstrous beast into something human. And that's really a fantastic accomplishment!

Your writing style in this story fit the actual events very well, too. It was detached, but not detached enough for the reader to feel disinterested in the story. I actually really found myself enjoying this, and before too long I'd love to return and read the other two installments. If you've written them to be anything like this one, I already know they'll be great commentaries on hidden natures of characters that pretty much all get painted with the same brush in the books.

Thank you for asking me to read this! I'm not sure I'd ever have read it otherwise, and then I'd have missed out on a good piece of writing. Here's hoping I get the chance to return before too long! :)

Author's Response: Well, thank you for completely making my day!

I know how you feel - I love reading about Death Eaters.

I loved creating the parallels between Remus and Fenrir, and showing how differently people with the same basic background can turn out through their experiences.

The breaking down of Fenrir was really my goal for this particular chapter, so I'm glad you picked up on it! I think that there are so many layers to a person, and it's really fun to peel those back and get to the core.

I'm glad the writing style fit the story, as I didn't want it to be too attached to the character, but not too far away either.

Thanks so much for reviewing this! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #22, by Lululuna F.G.

14th May 2013:
Hi, here for your requested review! :) This was such a great story, and a thoughtful insight into Greyback's mind. I think you did a really good job in the way that you didn't deny that he was a villain, but showed me why he was the way he is. It's very tragic that he really just wanted company and to be appreciated!

It's interesting how he recognized that he's a monster, and there's a certain degree of self-loathing that came through the story. The contrast with Lupin was interesting as well, and I sensed a little jealousy on Greyback's part: people love and listen to Lupin, and he can navigate regular wizarding society whereas that option isn't really possible for Greyback, so he has to make the best with what he has.

I liked how you gave the context of Greyback being bitten and then cast out of his house and rejected by the Headmaster, whereas Lupin had a different story and ended up the better for it. I wonder, had Greyback's parents had still loved him and the Headmaster accommodated for him at Hogwarts, if he would have turned out differently and not done all those horrible things. It's a little ironic, because by being unkind and selfish those people sort of created a monster as well, and in a way they're partly responsible for the people that Greyback turns and mauls.

I loved the description of him being an "attack dog" for Voldy. It really complemented the descriptions of him in the HP books: how he wasn't given the dark mark, and wasn't even properly accepted into the DE. Your story really pinpoints his isolation from other humans, which he copes with through violence.

"And then there were the times where he couldn't even be bothered to stop after infecting the child. The crunch of bones under his powerful jaw, the metallic taste of blood, the symphonic sound of their last screams - it was addicting."

This was such a great description! It was really well-written, and gave an image to his beastly and brutish nature. :)

Anyway, you did a really excellent job with this! The characterization was spot-on, and you really succeeded in saying a lot in only a few words. I loved seeing this other side to Greyback, and by the end of this story actually felt quite sorry for him! Nicely written! :)

Author's Response: And I die by the awesomeness of this review.

The whole point of this little collection is pointing out that just because someone seems evil doesn't mean that that's all that they are, so I'm glad you picked up on that!

I liked drawing some comparisons between Lupin and Greyback. It's interesting that both were bitten young, and they turned out vastly opposite. I wanted to give a little bit of reason behind that with Greyback's background in comparison to Lupin, who went to Hogwarts and had the Marauders for friends.

Okay, the fact that you picked up on that little bit of irony I threw in there regarding the people's mean behaviours creating the monster in Greyback makes me so happy! :)

Gosh, that sentence was one of my favourites. It just kind of came naturally and I really fell in love with it.

Thanks so much for this review!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #23, by nott theodore F.G.

16th April 2013:
You managed to do something with this story that I was sure wasn't possible; convince me that Fenrir Greyback wasn't a total monster.

I wasn't really sure what to expect with this story but I really did enjoy it. Your characterisation of Fenrir is very effective and you seem to get inside his head in a way I haven't seen before. I liked the development of the story from beginning to end; initially I thought that Fenrir was a monster and was accepting it, yet at the end you managed to provide an explanation for his actions.

Somehow, I ended up feeling sorry for him! Of course it doesn't excuse what he did in his lifetime, especially since he knew what he was doing, but you've definitely suggested a plausible reason behind it which helps me to understand why he might have attacked so many people. You really made his character come to life with this chapter, and he seemed multi-dimensional, rather than an evil monster.

That last line "Fear was a foreign emotion to Fenrir, but in that moment, he knew it well." is brilliant and very poignant - it seems like a fitting end for him.

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: This entire review had me smiling to myself, because you got out of it exactly what I wanted you to: that the Death Eaters aren't what they seem on the surface.

I'm trying to think of an intelligent reply, considering this was such a well thought-out review, but I'm too busy being really happy.

I'm glad you like that last line; it did seem like a good ending for him. And you even felt sympathy for him! That makes me quite happy, considering that's what I was trying to evoke, while still keeping present the reminder that he did some horrible things too.

Thanks so much for this review! :)

-ShadowRose


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