Reading Reviews for Winds of Desire
158 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Bluewolf80 Dinner Party and A Wedding

18th September 2015:
I read your story because I like Draco/Hermione ships. This one was a little different since Ron cheated on her. Overall I enjoyed your story even though at times it was slow and seemed to be repetitive. There were also issues with timeline discrepancies; at some points it talks like the war just happened then goes back to saying it was 10 years ago. The characters did not show evidence of being in their late twenties. They sound more like teenagers when they speak. For example, "dissed" probably wasn't the best choice for a mature wizard or witch
You concentrated so much on the plot it was like you forgot at times that these people were magical. There is no way Ginny would have manually blown up balloons, witches don't use hair spray -they use spells and you have people carrying things instead of levitating them. Try to remember that they do pretty much everything with magic.
You also need to proofread your work or get a beta reader. There were many, many mistakes that Word or Office is not going to catch. Like using their, there, and they're incorrectly. It takes away from the story and makes it difficult to understand.
This was not bad. I'm not trying to be harsh. Just constructive criticism. Keep writing and Loving Potter!

Author's Response: Hi there,
Thank you for reviewing and I am sorry for the late response to your review. This was my first fanfic and I realize there are many mistakes with it. I do plan to eventually sit down and re-edit the whole story but with a full time job and life it is hard to find time to... but I do take pride in this story so I plan to fix it soon. I am so glad you enjoyed the story overall and I appreciate your cc :) Thanks so much again!

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Review #2, by Josi The Visit

15th September 2015:
The Spacing between sentences is ridiculously annoying. The writing is great, but the spacing makes me not want to read it anymore.

Author's Response: Hi Josi,
I am glad you are enjoying the story so far. I realize the spacing is terrible and I soon plan to re-edit the story and take time on stuff like that. This story is almost three years old and was my first fan fic. I do take pride in it so I plan to re-edit soon. Thank you!!! :)

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Review #3, by dian An Interrogation

18th July 2015:
Harry really messed up. Death eater on the loosd and he chose to bicker and breakfast.

Author's Response: Very true! He did!

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Review #4, by DeltaSkye Dinner Party and A Wedding

9th June 2015:
Overall I found your story entertaining enough to read.
There is one major thing that you need to work on and it's the repetitive way you bring things up over and over again. In the last few chapters I had to skip over a lot of stuff due to the fact that it was unbearable tedious to read the same things again and again.
I did enjoy the portrayal of Draco, I felt that you really captured the characters. Overall I enjoyed your story and look forward to reading more of your writing to see how your writing improves and grows!

Author's Response: Hi there!
Thanks for coming by and reading my story, It was my first ever fanfic and needs ALOT of work. I have not had the time to sit down and go through all of it. Thanks sooo much!!!

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Review #5, by Dramionelove3 Gone

2nd March 2015:
I just have this one, BIG complain about this chapter:
Hermione is not one to care for appearances, so however mad she is at Lavender, she would never dare to discriminate her by her being a werewolf, she has a job for defending magical creatures for Godric's sake. Good story though, keep going.

Author's Response: Hey there,
Thanks so much :) I appreciate you coming by. Any complaint or suggestion is helpful to me! :D

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Review #6, by adluvshp Caught Red Handed

28th January 2015:
Hey! Here for review tag!

This is an interesting premise for a Dramione (which I think it will turn into) so I quite like it. The way you have started with this introductory chapter is good, providing us all the backstory we need.

How horrible of Ron to do what he is doing to Hermione. I think you portrayed Hermione's feelings quite well. I liked this chapter and want to see how the story progresses. The only CC I have is to perhaps smooth out your narrative, make it more engaging by having more description and emotions. Good job otherwise!!


Author's Response: Well hello there, :)
Thank you for coming by and reviewing my old story, I haven't worked on it for quite awhile! ;) I plan on re-editing quite a few things, I was a bit clueless about how to write these fanfics when I started. The fact that you think it's starting out good is wonderful :D I am glad you like it so far for the most part.

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Review #7, by Sara Dinner Party and A Wedding

28th October 2014:
I would just like to say how much I enjoyed this story. It made me happy and sad and also made me wonder. I really love how you tastefully incorporated the lovemaking. Sometimes you will read an amazing story that becomes overshadowed by how the sex scenes are written, sometimes that's what you want so I'm not saying it badly about those that do, what I mean to say it I loved everything about this story and I think you have an amazing talent for writing.

Author's Response: Aww thank you so much. :) I am honestly touched!

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Review #8, by BellaLestrange87 Caught Red Handed

16th October 2014:
Review tag!


This is a good start. Although I'm not sure if Ron would cheat on Hermione, given how crazed he was at Malfoy Manor in Deathly Hallows. But a Dramione has to start somewhere, doesn't it?

I like the references you made back to their schooldays. Lavender's use of the pet name she had for Ron back when they dated, and Ginny's reference to Harry's brief relationship with Cho.

I'm just curious about why Ron would cheat on Hermione with Lavender (ignoring the fact that she died in the Battle of Hogwarts). Even in the sixth book, he was embarrassed by Lavender's enthusiasm in their relationship (which was a sham).

Oh, Ron. Why would you be stupid enough to leave owl post directly showing your cheating ways in the apartment you share with the person you're cheating on? That sounds just like him.

"Ginny and Harry gazed at her leaving, not believing what they just heard. There is a possibility Ron and Hermione's relationship is in danger and that shocked them after all the time they spent finding out that they wanted to actually be together." Here you switch from past to present tense and it sounds a bit awkward. Maybe "There was a possibility Ron and Hermione's relationship was in danger..." would work better.

Your characterizations are all spot on. Ginny would definitely be distrustful of Cho, considering her reaction at the Battle of Hogwarts when Cho volunteered to take Harry to Ravenclaw tower. Harry, having seen firsthand Ron falling in love with Hermione, would definitely be as shocked as you write him here. Ron I can see becoming awkward and screwing up his words when Hermione confronts him.

I hope this review doesn't sound too rough - I really enjoyed this chapter. Well done!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much! :)
This story is my only completed story and I am very proud of everything I wrote. But it was my first fanfic and needs some editing work :) :) I appreciate everything you said and I am so glad you like it!!! :) :)
I need to give some more attention to this story and finish editing it, I learned alot more than I knew a year ago.

Thanks so much!


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Review #9, by Tainted Angel The Cat's Out of The Bag

30th June 2014:
So far I like it.A slow for my taste but still a good story.

Author's Response: Thank you!!

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Review #10, by dannitee Dinner Party and A Wedding

30th April 2014:
Couldn't stop reading until it was finished. So sad to see its over,but I enjoyed every second of it. Can't wait to read more of your stories. Bravo!

Author's Response: Aww thank you so very much. I didn't even think anyone was still reading that story :) I am so glad that you liked it!!

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Review #11, by Claudia Love at First Sight

31st March 2014:
It's a great story:) u deffinatley need to work on the repetitive stuff more and get Ron a mildly nice girlfriend. It was awesome when Narcissa told Astoria off!! Keep up the excellent work!!:)

Author's Response: Thanks so much:)

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Review #12, by Luna Draco's Surprise

19th March 2014:
I love your story! I just have a small remark on this chapter. It's technically impossible to make love for 6 to 9 weeks after you've had a baby.

Author's Response: Thank you. That's why I am re - editing the story and I am only on chapter six so far
Lol. Thanks so much for reading!

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Review #13, by balinaginaaa Dinner Party and A Wedding

12th March 2014:
Hi, I think your story was good, can I be a big critical moan for a second :P I felt you rushed into things between Draco and Hermione a bit quick, now I know it was supposed to move fast, but maybe a bit more being put into the build up of them Yeno? That's my personal opinion tho, some others are possibly fine with it! I'm a huge dramoine fan myself and I'm hoping to complete a fanfic one day too, and I do find myself just wanting to jump straight into them being together!
I got the feel for the hurt and what Ron done the 2nd-3rd time it was mentioned but once or twice in every chapter got very annoying, in my opinion you done a great job at explaining it and setting the emotions the first time.
I enjoyed this story regardless and I never really leave reviews but I feel you could write an amazing story with a few tweeks here and there, well done! :) thank you for a lovely read.

Author's Response: Hello there! I am glad you liked the story and I do realize completely my mistakes in this fanfic. :) Thank you for continueing to read it anyway! :D

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Review #14, by papilio Caught Red Handed

28th February 2014:
I love this chapter, I thought lavender died though but awr well this is amazing story x

Author's Response: I'm glad u like it!!!:)

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Review #15, by Jack The Visit

21st February 2014:
By the way it is awesome so far. :D

Author's Response: Lol it did just happen!!! Thnx for reading:D

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Review #16, by Jack Goodbyes and Hellos

21st February 2014:
Really good chapter. And a very good story so far!

Author's Response: Thanks glad u like it:)

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Review #17, by Unwritten Curse Caught Red Handed

18th February 2014:
Hi there! Finally here for my end of the Review Swap (sorry for the wait).

I'm a sucker for a good Dramione, so I thought I'd take a look. This set up is different from other stories I've read in that it's not set during their Hogwarts years. Here, you're following canon, up until a point. Poor Hermione. Ron seems very juvenile in this story, which seems fitting considering they're still pretty young and I don't think Ron will ever grow up. :P

I'm curious about the cell phones, though. Why do they need cell phones when they can use owls and the floo system and apparition? It seems odd for witches and wizards to be using Muggle technology.

But seriously why is Ron being such a jerk! (sorry I keep retuning to this--he really is being awful to Hermione)

I'm fully prepared for Hermione to go absolutely crazy on Ron (like the bird incident in the sixth book). She's a strong woman--Ron is even more of an idiot for messing with someone as intelligent and caring and fierce as Hermione. This makes me sad, but I'm happy to know that it's Draco that picks up the pieces. Ah. This is almost inspiring me to start another Dramione myself. I say almost because I already have WAY too many WIPS.

Anyway, thanks for doing this review swap with me! So glad to have found another Dramione fan. ;)

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hey!
Thanks for the swap!
I am glad that you liked my story and it even inspires you to want to write another Dramione :D This was my very first fanfic and I know that it needs some work- alot of work. Maybe I should even put AU because it is so not how Draco and Hermione would be? Idk... :) But thanks for stopping by and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! And I agree, Ronald Weasley needs a good slap! Lol.

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Review #18, by Olivia Dinner Party and A Wedding

17th February 2014:

This is my first time reviewing a story but I loved your storyline so I felt obliged too. I hope you don't take my constructive criticism too badly!
First of all, I felt like their feelings were - how should I put it? - too easily portrayed perhaps. Their emotions towards eachother, in my opinion, could have been less forced I guess? I just felt like it was too easy, if you get what I mean. I think that you could have added something to prove Draco actually caring for Hermione in the reunion scene apart from the flirting. However, I love your writing style and plot. The drama was interesting yet again I felt it was a little too easy. Personally, I think you could have added more setbacks and doubts but I loved the story overall. Other than that and a few grammar mistakes (e.g. commas needed in places) I think you did marvellously for a first story! Well written and I hope you write many more great stories. Thanks :)

- Olivia

Author's Response: Hi Olivia,
Thanks so much for the lovely review and I feel honored the be the first person you chose to review for! I agree this story needs some work. It was my very first ever fanfic and I now have seven more:) I have got a lot better at writing since this story but I plan to come back and correct some of my errors when I have time;) thanks so much once again!!!

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Review #19, by Maelody An Odd Meeting

7th February 2014:
Haha, I like how it's like he suddenly has new eyes for Hermione. Though I still wanna punch him a little bit for inwardly calling her a mudblood. He should learn new terms!

Wow, Harry and Ginny are really pushing for her to move on quickly, yeah? Seems there is absolutely no pity for Ron whatsoever lol.

I think it's cute that Hermione saw Draco at Flourish and Blotts. I actually did always let him for smart and knowledgable, something not even the books really showed. So that was nice! :) I also like the name of the Galleon Grill! Pretty cool!

Alight, onward I go! :)


Author's Response: Hahaha I am glad you liked the name of my made up restaurant, I thought it was kinda cool. :D thnx for reviewing!

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Review #20, by Maelody Gone

7th February 2014:
So sad! :( but it's good to see Ginny and Harry know who is wrong here! I wanna give Hermione a hug. :(

Good! Ron deserves to fall apart! I hope he wallows in self pitty for eternity. Not really, because in reality I love Ron. But you know what I mean ;).

Moving onward!


Author's Response: Aww I know I feel bad for Ron too but still wanna punch him for hurting Hermione:)

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Review #21, by Maelody Caught Red Handed

6th February 2014:
Ok, so I hope it doesn't disappoint you that I chose an older story! I'm not a huge Dramione fan, but I'm trying really hard to open up to the idea of it. I read your summary and saw that it has as sequel, and seeing as how I like reading stories for the long run, I thought this was perfect. :)

Anyway, to start off with, and I want you to know this is a compliment, but I can really see you've advanced in writing from this point to where you're at now with Hoping For A Heartbeat. :) You're doing really well as a writer and it's cool to see the differences!

As for the chapter, I like how you summed up everything about how they moved on after the war. Not so long that it was boring because we know the information already, but just enough to remind us and keep us in track.

I'm really mad that Ron would text (cool thought about Hermione introducing him to phones by the way) about Hermione like that! I always felt like he would tell her off if she made him feel stupid! But I guess putting a ring on it could make everything different. But to go back to Lavender? Ew! Haha. Though it is sort of nice to see her alive in the story. I think JKR pronounced her dead after the war and that always made me really sad :(. All the deaths did. I bet Hermione is regretting giving him that phone now, though!

Well, I'm interested so far! :) I'll read further into it! :) thanks for the opportunity to look through your list! :D


Author's Response: Aww Mae thanks for the nice review!!
Older stories need love too lol!
I plan to come back and edit this story really well.. and the sequel is on Hiatus until I can finish my other Dramione and start up my new story :) I can also see the difference in my talent of writing and it makes me very excited that I am getting so much better. And all of you are the reason why because you all helped me and gave me advice!!! :D Thanks so much for reading!!

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Review #22, by Kinnu Dinner Party and A Wedding

31st January 2014:

I liked your storyline. It has a new side to the normal prompt (Ron cheating on Hermione).

What I liked most is the fact that Ron and Astoria didn't get together, because that happens in most stories and Ron and Lavender got together... That's definitely new! Loved it...

Hermione is emotionally and mentally strong, and your portrayal of it is very good. The way she turns away Ron and leaves him, kudos to you for writing it!

I especially like the way you write your sentences long... I write them that way too!

If you don't mind me saying though, I thought Draco was very OOC. He sure isn't usually embarrassed, doesn't blush (definitely), and he's more composed (I think). But if that's what you think he's like, go with it! I thought his change of mindset wouldn't change his sarcasm or big ego. I mean, his pig-headedness clearly showed in a few areas but he fluctuated in between personalities.

I also noticed a few spelling mistakes and Canon stuff that went slightly wrong like The Burrow (You wrote The Borrow). I'm sure it was completely unintentional but you can always edit it, right?

I read the whole story together today and I felt that Dramione got together too fast. I mean, they've hated each other since forever and Hermione just believes Draco when he says he's changed and falls in love with him? Probably improbable but maybe possible. I would have liked it better if they had a few more chance encounters before they started seriously considering each other.

Hermione's intelligence didn't show through. Neither did her job though I think you mentioned it. But if that's a part of your storyline, ignore me...

In a few places, I thought present and past tenses were getting kind of mixed up, so maybe you could rectify that.

Read my story if you can and tell me what you think. My pen name is Kinnu. I'd love to have your opinion because I've just started the story!

Keep going! Looking forward to reading more stories of yours,


Author's Response: Hi Kinnu!
Thank you for this lovely review!!
I will definitely read your story:)
And I agree that Draco was particularly out of character in this story. Also that they moved too fast. This is my very first fan fiction and I am aware it needs alot of help :P someday I will sit down and edit it all. Thanks so much once again for reading and reviewing. Please read my newest Dramione 'Coming Home After a Disaster' sometime and tell me what you think. Thanks so much once again. Look for my review!!!

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Review #23, by Parvati11 Dinner Party and A Wedding

30th December 2013:
Awesome! was waiting for your last chapter, only managed to read it now! Good story! shows us that things don't always go the way we planned them to.

Author's Response: Very true. Thank you so much for reading and Im glad you enjoyed reading!

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Review #24, by Winnie Dinner Party and A Wedding

18th December 2013:
Oh my Rowling! I'm going to shed tears of joy!

Author's Response: Wel.. I am very glad you liked it. ;)

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Review #25, by Winnie Questions..

17th December 2013:
Ron and him. Goodness Graciania!

Author's Response: I know it, isn't it funny? Thanks so much for even considering to read my first fanfic;)

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