Reading Reviews for Darkness in the Day
  
4 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jchrissy Awakening

5th May 2013:
Ohhh I feel so sad :(. I thought I submitted my review on the second, and then just looked to see if youíd responded, and I realized the review never went through :(!

Iím sorry this is now late! But I couldnít let anyone else get your birthday review when I wanted it all to myself!

Happy late birthday darling!

I love the way youíve started this. You set a perfect scene with Ginny. Not a comforting one of course, but perfect for the feeling youíre conveying with the start. Having her be unaware of the time that has passed was a really awesome touch because that just immediately makes the reader for desperate for her. Having even the basic sense of time taken away because of the darkness is a scary thought, and one that fit so well into this.

The pot calling the kettle black comment was so true, haha. I feel so bad for Ginny though being in that situation of having on idea whatís going on then having to hear these two bicker.

OH my gosh that was NOT expected! Now how disoriented she was makes a lot of sense!

Ohhh this turned so much darker than I expected but I canít say that Iím disappointed. I think the twist was really well done, especially considering Ginny didnít even know what she was. The missing students having been thought dead is the perfect way to sort of create this group of (sorry Ginny) monsters. Obviously theyíd be as good as dead to their family members, now part of this vampire cult, and Ginnyís slow realization that she was now part of it was really well done.

Iím happy you left it the way you did and never actually told what happened with the girl, though you leave the impression that Ginny wonít be able to fight what she now is.

There was a lot of really lovely description, well not lovely because it was quite terrifying, but you get what I mean.

I really enjoyed this Meg, and happy birthday ♥ Sorry again that itís a few days late :(.

Author's Response: JChrissy.

No worries:) I couldn't get on this weekend anyway. I was horribly busy! Thank you for the sweet birthday review.

I've been wanting a vampire fic for a while now but I didn't want it to be cliche. It seems like vampires are all the rage right now so I wanted to stay away from being like every other story. I wondered if I over did it in the first part where Ginny is in the room alone.

Hehe, I couldn't help myself. Most of the time I think of Pansy that way but not Ginny.

I will have a bit more fun with the group of 'misfits' :) I'm glad you liked the idea of a band of missing students and group of people. I wonder if Ginny will be able to just give in and be a part of the group. Hmmm?

Thank you once again for the great review. I love hearing your thoughts.

Meg


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Review #2, by ChaosWednesday Awakening

8th April 2013:
Hey there!

I had completely forgotten who you got for the challenge and must admit I felt the suspence!

I like how you threw in some hints about Ginny's transformaton from the very beginning (the dress, the newfound powers, the unexplainable urge when she saw Hermione). It was nicely planned and kept me guessing without giving anything away. The end was particularly unexpected because, well, one doesn't really expect vampires in HP. It's also pretty interesting how the new evil after the Death Eaters are now the Lilium. I would have liked some more info about that, maybe some more flashbacks to what the world looks like in the time of this story. You mentioned people disappearing, for example - maybe a few more sentences could have painted a nice and creepy appocalyptic AU scenario? Just a thought :)

I enjoyed how you incorporated Lilith as a bedtime story, although I did feel like you could have adjusted the story to fit the wizarding world a bit more. After all, I don't believe wizards believe in any gods or would recognize a name like Satan, you know...

I liked how indepth you went into description, that is always a plus! Lots of details really liven up a story. Although, I did notice that you sometimes pack many things into one sentence, making it difficult to get through the narrative. For example here: "She pressed her face to the cold damp stone of the floor beneath her. The scent of moist earth permeated the air and the damp stone reeked but the coolness felt agreeable against her hot face as sweat rolled from her forehead." Sometimes, it's also important to focus on the rythm of a text in oder to multiply the effect of the words.

All in all, great story! Thank you for entering the challenge!

Author's Response: ChaosWednesday,

I guess I should have incorporated Lilith a little more into the whole chapter, instead of just at the end of the chapter.

I could have adapted it a bit more and truthfully I had that internal debate with myself as I was writing this chapter. Do wizard's believe in or even know about the christian god? Hmm... There has been a debate on the forums over this and I came to the conclusion that magical beings are at least aware of it's presence. But, would pureblood teach something so muggle to their children? that I'm not sure.

I agree, that sentence is a bit overbearing. Thank you for pointing it out.

Thank you for the review. I'm glad you liked it.

Meg


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Review #3, by Dark Whisper Awakening

3rd April 2013:
Meg,
Oh, my... poor Ginny (and all the others, really).

Your descriptions were excellent. You did an awesome job with her heightened senses. Her dress, especially. I could really feel that... and smell the stones. Amazing job.

It saddens me that Draco is one of them. You know how much of a fan I am. LOL!

I truly hope that Ginny can resist and that she can remember the story. I hope there will be a remedy for them!

Great first chapter. And you expertly left a bit of a cliff hanger for us. "Ginny, don't do it!" I yell at my computer. :)

Great job,
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Hey Dark,

Thank you for taking time to review this chapter. I'm frustrated with this story because there is so much I want to do with this story and I think it could be good but I'm not sure if I'm at the point to start a new story because what started as a simple plot line has grown so much that I can't get back to the original thought. Anyway...

I'm glad that the senses shown through in this chapter. I wanted that to be one of the first clues to what had happened to Ginny. It's not a bad thing that Draco is a part of this and his story comes through later on.

That is one of the things I'm battling; to make a way that they become normal again or leave them be. I haven't yet described the bond between the members because there is a lot more going on..

LOL. See what I mean... Grr...

I'm glad you liked the ending in the best possible way you could.

Thank you again!!

Meg


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Review #4, by Pixileanin Awakening

25th March 2013:
Hi. I'm here from Review Tag in the Common Room, and can I just start by saying, "Vampires!"

I haven't read an HP vampire story before, but I'm familiar with several other vampire stories. It makes me itch to see what you're going to do with this.

First off, I want to tell you that I had no idea what was going on at the beginning of the chapter. I was just as disoriented as Ginny. All I knew was that it was Bad. Poor Ginny!

I think it's a fantastic concept to have all the disappearing students from Hogwarts become these things of the night. Nathan is suitable creepy and detestable and Ginny's situation seems darkly hopeless. It screams at me that I need to know more.

Style-wise, I think your prose is a good match for this story, with just the right amount of description without it getting too heavy. You seem to avoid using commas, but I'm not holding that against you or anything. :)

That voice. It's still screaming for more. I am very intrigued by this first chapter.

Author's Response: Pixileanin,

I hadn't seen too many either but for some reason this idea popped in my head and you know how plunnies go. They eat at you until you write.

I'm so happy to read that you liked this story. I'm going to have fun with Nathan and his dark and creepy demeanor.

Truthfully, I'm horrible with commas. I've been looking for a good grammar book but I haven't found one I like.

This review really makes me want to write more. Thank you for your kind words.

Meg


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