Reading Reviews for Prayers for Bellona
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Arrival in France

28th April 2013:
Look at me go leaving all these reviews today! I am here with your fifth and final review.

I really loved the imagery you used in this chapter, I can just picture the French countryside and Edith cycling over the cattle grid. As well as creating vivid descriptions it also created vivid sounds in my head too, which was really great.

I really liked Edithís characterisation itís really developed and youíve created a well-rounded person. I can see, now, why someone like her would end up with Moody. Theyíre both so feisty and proud that theyíre the perfect match for one another. I liked learning about her past; too, as it meant that I had clearer idea of her in my head.

I loved the meeting of Alastor and Edith it fitted both of them so well. I can just imagine her trying to tell Alastor that his appalling French was unnecessary and that she could manage in English. I was wondering how they first met, and I was glad with the result as it was unexpected yet fitting both of them. I can see that theyíre probably going to having quiet a fiery relationship which fits their personalities really well. Then the interrogation scene was perfect too!

A minor note on the French of a bientot, as the review box doesnít like accents Iíll do my best to describe it here the a should have a an accent grave on it and the o should have an accent circumflex :) As I mentioned in one of my previous reviews you should perhaps look over the grammar you used with dialogue as I noticed a few spots where periods where needed instead of breaks :)

That was a really good chapter and Iíve enjoyed reading your stories :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: It took me ages to find the phrase 'cattle grid' since I didn't know what they were called :P I ended up asking my dad- the internet is useless when it comes to finding words with nothing to go on. I've never been to the French countryside, but I've seen plenty of the English countryside, and it's just beautiful and I wanted my readers to see that beauty too.

She has this ferocity within her, she's in every sense a fighter, yet she keeps it reigned in and composed. When she unleashes that ferocity, you'd better start running ;)

That was one of my favourite bits, Edith is a character who enjoys being on top and having more information that others. Their relationship is central to this story, but in a way, in reality their relationship is minor compared to the events that will lead them to having a relationship. Sorry if that was a bit confusing :P

It takes me a while to add accents to words in word since I have to go to the symbols box, find the symbol, yada yada. I honestly thought that I added the grave and circumflex though , but apparently not... perhaps next time I will add the accents as I'm writing so that I don't forget :P

Thanks for the lovely reviews Kiana!


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Review #2, by patronus_charm Prologue

28th April 2013:
Hey Aisha Iím here with your fourth review!

Wow that was such a dramatic start. I donít think Iíve ever read a prologue in which the main character dies, but I think it was a perfect way to start, as it shows how her and Alastorís story had a made a full circle with her dying.

I really liked her characterisation though, and it was a brave choice to make her a cynical old lady who was still abusing the world in the way. It added a humorous element to an otherwise sad story and I really liked it.

Then the way she gave that box to her granddaughter was great too, and I can imagine itís going to lead to an interesting story. Sorry this review is short, but as itís only the prologue there isnít that much to comment on, other than itís a really interesting start to the story!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hi! Ooh, only one to go :P

I very much wanted this story to be cyclical, since it's Edith's life story and with life, comes death.

She's a tough cookie. That's her character summed up. She's not afraid of death- if she were, she wouldn't be Edith.

Ah, the ol' inheritance. Edith's legacy and her story has yet to be uncovered to her family, and the fact that it's going to be little Edith who reveals her gran's secrets again adds to the cyclical nature of this story.

Yeah, I didn't give you much to review about, but it was a great review, so thank you so much :D


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Review #3, by Debra20 Prologue

13th April 2013:
Hey there Aisha! I'm here from the Review Tag from the forums.

This does seem like a truly interesting setting for the fic. I really hope you keep writing it, because I feverishly read anything Moody related haha. I like that Edith already has a voice of her own, even if it's been only 800 words. The way she desperately fights and is frustrated to no ends about her body being eaten away by cancer, her dissatisfaction with Australia give her character a very distinct voice indeed. She sounds like a very bitter woman, which in turn makes me curious as to why she is like this. What could have possibly happened to her that she would revolt against the world like this.

Obviously, she's a fighter like Moody. I couldn't have seen her otherwise if she was his partner. I can't possibly imagine Alastor with anyone that isn't strong-willed, stubborn like he is, but at the same time a loyal and caring person. I'm intrigued to how a younger version of Edith looks like.

Author's Response: Hiya!

Edith is a stubborn old goat, she's definitely a fighter who has her own developed opinion on everything which is something rare in humans ;) She's not bitter towards everyone and everything, she loves her family a lot, but she does resent her placement in Australia, something that you'll learn about at the end of this... when I get to writing and posting it :D Don't worry, this story will come full circle!

Alastor wouldn't put up with a wishy washy woman, he'd just get irritated :P Well, young Edith is a lot less resentful, and if you read on then hopefully you'll get a better grasp of her character ;)

Thanks so much for the review and I hope you keep reading this, being a Moody lover- I haven't really seen that many Moody fics and I just had to write one :P


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Review #4, by academica Arrival in France

11th March 2013:
Oh, I love your fact-filled author's note! It makes me nostalgic, and now I want to finish up the next chapter of my Founders novel. Never fear, I'll be sure to finish this review and post it for you first!

I like the cute way that Edith and Alastor joined up in this chapter. It's nice to see Moody not being totally competent at everything he tries. I always thought that he was the kind of man who could appreciate a woman's unique strengths, and I can see that he has some respect for Edith already.

The little 'interrogation' was kind of interesting, too. I can see how Moody would fit in in such a no-nonsense environment, and how he would be perfectly happy being ordered around by Edith. I imagine that adult Moody took quite a bit from his experience in this place, and it'll be neat to watch his character develop as he gets to know Edith.

One thing I did notice is that you sometimes end paragraphs of dialogue with a comma and nothing else. If it's the end of a sentence, feel free to use a period or other punctuation mark. If there's some action after the dialogue (i.e., 'she said', 'he told her'), then you would need to use the comma. There's a great tutorial on the forums if you need it.

Well, that's it for now. I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all of the kind reviews you've been leaving me and I hope these brighten your day and help you out a little with your new project :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Why hello again Amanda! I had to restrain how many facts I put into that author's note, I could have gone on for much longer :P I've always though of Alastor as very much a mummy's boy, not in the sense that he can't do anything without his mother, but rather he favours his mother over his father. I don't know why, but that's just how I imagined him, growing up in the country with his mother. Edith is definitely a no-nonsense sort of person, for sure, and it will be interesting to see how their relationship develops ;)

I didn't know that! I blame GCSE English, there's not nearly enough focus on writing, it's more analysis, so we don't learn things like punctuation or grammar even though it's paramount to essay writing and writing in general... Thanks for pointing that out, I'm going to edit accordingly :D

Thanks so much again for the reviews and the support, I can't say how much I appreciate it!


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Review #5, by academica Prologue

11th March 2013:
Hi Aisha! Just dropping by for a review.

I really love the imagery in this chapter. I was especially fond of the part where her internal conversation flowed from 'mutiny' to 'mutations.' It was a subtle way to allude to the cause of her death without having to plaster it across the chapter. I also liked the contrast you drew between Edith's failing body and her unbroken spirit.

I think the only thing that felt a little off was the ending. I like the suddenness of it and the shock value, but it seemed almost a bit too sudden. I think you could add in a little bit more about her sinking into her pillows and fading away into sleep, just something to help bridge that gap more.

Nice start! I'm on to the next chapter.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hey Amanda :D You came! Usually my introduction chapters are my favourite, but with this story I didn't get that same kind of feeling, so to have that pointed out helps ;) Thanks so much for the review and the support that you've given me!

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Review #6, by ValWitch21 Arrival in France

11th March 2013:
I am so disappointed by this chapter, after the interesting beginning you treated us to before.






Now that you've been terrified properly, just kidding! This chapter more than lived up to the first: your description is wonderful, fluid and precise without being too heavy. I adore your portrayal of young Moody, and I'm really eager to see him fit in in France, with the accent and the not so French name, which is probably going to cause some problems.

I'm just curious as to why Mme Lavisse refers to Edith like that, but I suppose we find out?

Another thing that struck me is the fact that Edith talks about ethnic cleansing in eastern Europe. Is that sometihng people were already aware of in 1940? It seems to me that it started a little later, no? In any case, it's not something huge, and I still enjoyed reading the rest of the chapter -- it didn't nag me until I got to this box, basically!

Also (God, so many questions), is Edith a witch? I don't know if you've mentioned it yet (apparently, I have a limited attention span); if you have, kick me.

ANYWAY. The relationship between Moody and Edith is one I can't wait to see flesh out. Great chapter my dear &hearts

Author's Response: HOMG, YOU ARE SO EVIL! No, just nope, how can you do that to me?

Ha, ha, moving on :P Yes, Alastor isn't exactly very French, but oh well, as long as the Gestapo aren't listening in... Mme Lavisse is a curious character, she just hates the world and whatnot. Could it be jealousy, ooh, you figure it out ;) Well, there was Kristallnacht in 1938 and the Nuremberg Laws in 1935 so it was there, it's just at the end that the Holocaust kicks in and that's what people remember most.

*waggles eyebrows* I'm not going to tell you :P Revenge! What d'you think, d'you think she's a witch? Stop asking about major plot points, kay?!

Thanks so much Val!


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Review #7, by teh tarik Prologue

2nd March 2013:
Hello there! Here for our little review swap :D

This is such a beautiful prologue. It's certainly sad that your story starts with death (and I assume Edith is Alastor's love interest). I think it's a great way to begin the story, backtracking through her experiences written in her diary. Or at least that's what I think is going to happen - little Edie reading her Nana's diary and revealing everything about the past.

You've certainly characterised old Edith very well here. Her voice, her inability to accept her condition or to come to terms with her age and slow deterioration of the body is simply startling. And quite wonderfully written, too. And I love the way you briefly depicted the relationship between grandmother and granddaughter. It was a lovely but heartbreaking moment, especially when old Edith says: Read it Edie and do what you want with it, tell everybody, tell nobody, but not until youíve read it, promise?

There's something just so poignant about it, and hopefully as the story unfolds perhaps you might reveal a little more about Edith's relationship with her children and grandchildren, along with Alastor, of course :)

Well, this is a lovely but sad beginning. Your prologue flowed really nicely and I think it set the story up well. Can't wait to see how this story develops :D Great work.

-teh

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I want this story to be beautiful and delicate, so to hear that I achieved that in the prologue is great :D This chapter was really about setting the theme for the story and letting the reader get to know Edith a bit better, since they already know about Alastor. The story's going to start right from the beginning in the next chapter, when Edith meets Alastor, so we'll get to see the dynamics in their relationship then ;)

I'm glad you enjoyed it and thanks again!


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Review #8, by ValWitch21 Prologue

1st March 2013:
Oh, pshf, COPYCAT.

Just joking, of course. This is such a gripping beginning, I'm really eager to find out more about Edith and how she ties in with Moody and the War and I'm so excited right now!

Sorry about the short review, I'll leave a longer one on the next chapter :) This was a great start, consider that you've earned yourself a faitful reader! Going to add this to my favourites right now.

Author's Response: He he he *evil cackle* Omg Val :P

The next chapter is almost finished, so you won't have to wait that long :D Yay, a faithful reader, I like those ;)


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