Reading Reviews for The Worst
  
241 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rumpelstiltskin Reflecting and Brooding

19th July 2014:
Hey Aditi, I'm here for the July Review Exchange.

With all of the disaster that is in her life at the moment, what with recently becoming a werewolf, at least Dom is has some insight about werewolves and what struggles she is going to face (especially in society). Due to her research, in the very least, she won't be left in the dark.

The flashback was absolutely adorable, but somehow almost tauntingly pleasant in the wake of all of the darkness surrounding Dom at the moment. Understandably, Dom would've had some hesitation over dating her sister's ex, but I'm glad that Victoire ultimately gave her blessing to date Teddy. It emphasized the bond between the two sisters, as well as the essence of having long since moved on over an old relationship.

Unfortunately, with all of the things that Dom had said to Teddy (revelations about his father, and pretty much saying outright that she didn't want him around her at the moment), she's already begun to push the people closest to her away. Hopefully Teddy will understand that her harsh words came from a place of extreme duress, and not really from her heart.

While using her condition to fuel her research/articles on werewolves, it's understandable that she'd be hesitant to do so. While the treatment of werewolves have improved over the years, there is sure to be some prejudice festering about somewhere. That boss of hers, Delilah, seems a little two-faced to me (which I find fantastically entertaining in a character). It really seems like she's trying to exploit Dom's condition, milking it for all it's worth.

Naturally, Dom is feeling some resentment over the scar that's really never going to go away. It's a natural reaction for somebody, I'd say, as that's probably all she can see in herself at the moment. I'm really quite excited that Teddy has shown up, though I am mildly concerned that he's frowning. I wonder what's wrong!!

Fantastic chapter (it really has been way too long since I've read this).

-Rumpel

 Report Review

Review #2, by patronus_charm Meetings and more.

28th May 2014:
Hi Aditi! Here for the review exchange and I apologise in advance for any typos or things which don't make sense as this is being written on my phone!

I really liked the beginning section and I thought you handled the revelations about Delilah really well. It just how strong Dom and Teddy are as a couple and made me like them even more so. Also the use of italics was really good too, to emphasise the importance of certain things and it stayed in my mind for a lot longer.

Ha, the section with Wilson Young was almost funny. I was expecting some sort of maverick man waving his wand at them, as he seemed like a recluse and mad too but I was happy to see it was the opposite instead. I wouldn't go as far as to say he was nice as he did accept Delilah's bribe but he did defy expectations. Then he was quite sweet with how he offered to look after Dom at the next full moon.

Hmm, this confirmed all what Delilah had been up to though and I can't help but wonder why she would do this. At the moment it might be that either her parents had a fight with Fleur over her beauty or she has some death eater connection but neither one of them seem to work in my head really. Oh well, it will be interesting to see what you come up with!

Ooh I loved how cool and confident Dom was when she went to work it fitted with her character really well and it was great to see what inner strength she had too. I'm looking forwar to seeing more of Julia too, as this will be a friend for her which isn't a relative or her boyfriend so the dynamic will be different which will be cool. Finally, that was such a great cliffhanger to leave it on though I'm currently wondering whether someone has just stitched her up and it's someone else who has done this to Dom

Great chapter Aditi!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey Kiana.

Apologies for such a late response. I am glad you liked the whole revelations about Delilah and how the story unfolded.

Wilson Young is more of a 'lost cause' kind of man, far from a maniac haha.

As for Delilah's motives, we'll know about them soon.

I'm glad you're liking this over all. Thank you!


 Report Review

Review #3, by Pixileanin Reflecting and Brooding

25th April 2014:
Hello! I'm back for another chapter! Dominique has a lot of worry surrounding everything. She seems like the eternal pessimist, and is prone to overreacting. Of course, having your boyfriend be your sister's ex could complicate things. I thought you used the flashback very well to move the story forward and shed some light on her relationship with her sister and with Teddy. Very effective!

On one hand, I like that this Jones lady is offering Dominique some semblance of normalcy to come back to. It puts her condition in a different perspective and she's paving the way for Dom to accept what has happened to her and possibly do some good about it. On the other hand, she seems a bit flippant about the situation, and not at all sympathetic. She's jumping right into the thick of things, when Dom is obviously not able to handle the thought of exposing herself so quickly. Fishy, the way that Jones is fixated on the notes and the article. Though it does give Dominique something to focus on other than her own self pity.

I don't know what's going on with Teddy. It might have something to do with not answering his owls, but I think it's probably something different. I don't know. But I do know how to find out... I'll be back later.

Author's Response: Hello again =) Yes she indeed has a lot of worrying going on. I am glad you liked the flashback too.

Delilah Jones is definitely not your average boss xP Fishy isn't it? We'll see more of her later.

I am glad you're liking the story. Thanks for all the lovely reviews! Apologies for the late response!

Thank you =)


 Report Review

Review #4, by Pixileanin The Worst Had Happened

25th April 2014:
I really like it when chapters start of with a nightmare. I don't know. It just sets the mood, and to have it come on the heels of the first chapter, where we know that she lived through this exact thing, it seemed very fitting. Nice descriptives, again. Not too heavy, and not flowery, but the setting is solid and visible.

Your choice to have Dominique wake up and be unable to move put this whole scene at a high drama level. You did a great job of incorporating that into the scene, allowing her to struggle physically, and emotionally with the things that are beyond her control.

It was interesting to me that the pain went away as she regained consciousness. I suppose those were some great potions the Healer had. I also loved the way you let us sense who else was in the room with Dom. That was particularly well-done, with her discovering through sound, and who was holding her hand. Nice.

One thing that stuck out to me was how calm she was when she came out of the dream. I would have expected the panic to bleed over into the scene as she came around, but that didn't happen. It made me wonder why Dominique wanted to reassure everyone right away that she was fine. Does she have a need to not let people worry over her? Was she pushing the reality away so hard that she had to make everyone else believe that nothing had happened? I can understand that, though. If it was that horrifying, and she's not ready to face it, there's a lot of strength in believing that it never happened.

Okay, I see what you did there. She insists that she's fine, and then at the end of the scene, she knows she's not. It made for a big switch in her emotional state, very dramatic turn. I found it very realistic that Dominique had to tell Teddy how "not fine" she really was, and bring up sore points with him that he may or may not have heard about his family. I thought it fit in well to bring up Teddy's father, and highlight some of the details that the family may have overlooked. It sounds like those were either fresh discoveries for her, or that they were the reason that she feared werewolves so much.

Dominique is so inconsolable, and I hate the way everyone leaves the room with her in this state, but I guess they realize that they're not going to get through to her so quickly.

How do you live, when your life as you know it is over? I guess that's what the story is going to explore. I like that you chose this way to portray a transformation. It looks like it's going to be a very personal journey.

Author's Response: Thank you again for reading and reviewing!

I am glad you liked how this started off with a nightmare =) I love those too. It's a relief you're liking the descriptions so far as well.

Dominique is the kind of person who'll want her loved ones not to worry - and moreover she was in a denial kind of phase where she believed she was fine and it was just a dream.

I am pleased you liked the transition to her outburst in the end though, and the whole talk with Teddy.

Yes everyone knows Dominique and they know she's best left alone in such situations.

It is surely a personal journey and I am pleased you're intrigued by it.

Thank you once again!


 Report Review

Review #5, by Pixileanin Dreading The Worst

25th April 2014:
Hey, it's me from the TGS Review Exchange! I'm not late, am I?

Wow. Okay, loads of imagery start this off, with the stormy night and the slipping and running and the red hair. Very lovely. I get a clear picture of the setting in my head in the first paragraph. It makes me question why she's there, and why she's so afraid. But you don't keep us in the dark for long.

Okay, so Dominique is a journalist, and she forgets about the full moon. This does not bode well for her. How could she have simply forgotten? Or maybe she was more concerned about the deadline for the article than the actual safety of her own person. I hear that journalists can have a single-minded tunnel vision about such things. You did say that she was very careful with her notebook, and that the interviewer was very reluctant, so I suppose she would be concentrating more on that than anything else.

It's a good thing she got that owl.

I think that regardless of her House, she'd be scared out of her pants by the notion of being in the woods with a pack of werewolves about to transform. If you're not scared by the thought of that, it's not bravery, it's stupidity. Run, woman! Run! But she can't. She's stuck there, without being able to apparate. Oh no!

It was like one of those horror movies, where the main character is left with no choice but the worst one, and so we have to watch them step right into the badness. Well-played, here.

It was not boring in the least, this introductory chapter. I think you kept the tension high, and the fear factor in front of the reader the whole time. Dominique didn't have time to really think over why she couldn't apparate inside the cottage, and I'm glad you didn't get into that, because it would have disrupted the action. But I am insanely curious about it. Something went wrong that she didn't expect, and I want to know what was behind it.

Lovely writing! I'm off to the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing! Apologies for the late response.

I am glad you liked the imagery and stuff in the beginning.

Being a journalist-in-the-making myself, I can tell you we journalists tend to get distracted a lot ;) Our only focus is to get the interview, to write that article, forgetting track of time xP

Haha I love the way you're reviewing this - it's like I'm getting a commentary of the story as it goes and it's fun to read it from someone else's POV xD

I'm glad you liked how the whole moment played out with her not having any choice but to step out, as I enjoyed writing that.

We'll be getting into the whys and hows in the next couple of chapters, yes.

Thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #6, by LavenderBlue Decisions and Discoveries

23rd April 2014:
Hello! LavenderBlue here with your requested review.

I love a good NextGen fic, and your story is no exception! I was especially eager to read a story centering around Dominque. I think she so often gets overlooked, and yet there's a wealth of potential for her character, much of which you've tapped into. :] Below, you'll find my thoughts on the first five chapters.

Plot. You start out with a FANTASTIC hook. Lycanthropy is such a multifaceted, emotion-packed subject, and it has special relevance to Dominique since, as you point out, both her father and boyfriend were in some way affected by it. Dom's inability to conceive is also a compelling plot point, but the most stunning of all is the apparent conspiracy by the Daily Prophet and Delilah to intentionally turn Dom into a werewolf. (!!!) All of these factors make for a solid plot structure. My only concern is that sometimes the plot gets bogged down by too much dialogue, which I'll address in the next paragraph.

Dialogue. In these first five chapters, I've noticed a tendency for your characters to "overtalk." There were several instances--especially Dom and Teddy's conversations--where your characters' lines didn't ring true or felt like an info dump, rather than an actual conversation. For example, in Chapter 3's flashback, Teddy, Dom, and Victoire talk through a potential relationship between Teddy and Dom in exhaustive detail--but much of this detail isn't necessary. All you need to convey is that Victoire is at peace with Teddy and Dom dating. I think that passage would benefit from cutting a lot of dialogue and replacing it with some more subtle, nuanced lines.

On a similar note, there are several times where relationship conflict seems to be too easily resolved. Twice now, Dom and Teddy have been embroiled in a heated (and legitimate!) argument, only for them to exchange apologizes and be completely at peace again. This struck me as unrealistic. Dom and Teddy can, of course, resolve their conflicts. That's what healthy couples do! But even the healthiest couples can still hold grudges or deal with unresolved issues. I think the story might benefit from you giving Dom and Teddy some more longterm issues (other than Dom's inability to conceive) that they have to grapple with over the course of more than just a chapter.

Characterization. I really like the way you portray Delilah. She's so attentive and sweet on the outside, and yet her words and actions are total poison. She reminds me strongly of Dolores Umbridge. Even though I didn't like Delilah from the outset, however, I was still surprised to find that she paid off a werewolf to bite Dom. And that's a good sign that you've developed your villain well but still retain the element of surprise! I also like how you portray the quiet jealousy Dom has developed toward Victoire. It's clear that the sisters love each other, but of course Dom is upset that Victoire will have a life that she can now never obtain. :(

Overall, I think Dom's portrayal is strong. You've given her goals (an eventual family, respect in her career) and you've given her obstacles to overcome (lycanthropy!). That's a great start. I'm most concerned about your characterization of Teddy. Right now, he's reading like a stock character to me. I don't see any personality coming through other than the perfect, supportive boyfriend. I'd suggest spending more time fleshing out Teddy's character and giving him more visible interests and flaws.

Prose/Grammar. Overall, I think you're good here. My only big red flag when reading through your prose is that you tend to overuse ellipses. A "..." placed in the right spot can be extremely powerful. But when you use them, they tend to lose their meaning. I'd suggest going through the story and evaluating whether each ellipsis is really necessary or not.

That's it from me! I had a great time reading this far, and I think you're off to a wonderful start. Very best wishes as you continue to write!

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for such a detailed review, and apologies for not responding sooner!

I am glad you like the plot over all, I put a lot of thought and effort into it, so it's good to know it makes sense =)

I do have issues with dialogue (in all my stories) so I'll try to work on that and tone it down for future chapters, and when I come back to edit. I'll also try to work around Dom and Teddy's resolutions and see what I can do. Thanks for the tips!

I am pleased you like Delilah's characterisation and call her a 'good villain', that's a big compliment so thank you. I'll try to flesh out Teddy more and see what I can do.

Ellipsis are the bane of my existence, haha. I'll go back and look at them when I get the time.

Thank you so much once again for your encouraging words and helpful comments!


 Report Review

Review #7, by lindslo2012 Decisions and Discoveries

17th April 2014:
Hey there!
Here for another requested review!
WOW. That was an intense chapter..
I am so sad for Dom because she doesn't have the chance to be able to conceive on her own anymore... that hits me close to the heart since I have had fertility problems. poor Dom...
I am so happy though that she has a great boyfriend who is always seemingly there for her and that will do anything to keep her happy. I am glad that Teddy is who he is because if he was someone else he may not understand all what Dom is going through. His own father was a werewold after all so that must help. Dom is with a good guy.
I am very curious to know what happens next!
I hope that they find out the cause of the biting and who did this to her and ect.
I hate to see her go through all of this as I've said before.. I can't imagine being able to look at my sister and see how much more she has than me... that must be hard.
GREAT JOB! Once again your story is going amazingly and I have loved every moment of reading it so far!
Please re-request for more. I wish I could write as well as you :)
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, apologies for not replying sooner!

I am glad you liked the chapter over all with its intensity, and could feel for Dom. Thank you!


 Report Review

Review #8, by TidalDragon At The Burrow

16th April 2014:
You had to make the cliffhanger in the proposal didn't you?! Well it's certainly a good spot, if a bit frustrating. I only hope that Dominique won't be retreating back into the self-pity and insistence that she would only hurt Teddy's life that she seemed to have abandoned some time ago.

As far as the story as a whole goes, I thought it started out incredibly strong. You used very good descriptions and imagery to set up and begin telling a unique story. The plot was logical, largely flowed well, and I thought other than the few comments I made about characterization everyone was believable within the story.

The biggest thing that perplexed me throughout though was what changed from the early chapters to the later ones. As I mentioned above I thought you started off very strongly, but as things got more complex with more characters and more storylines, you seemed to let the dialogue overtake you and some of the things that made the beginning so strong and stood out as being excellently written seemed to fall by the wayside a bit in service of conversation and pushing the plot forward. If you do decide to go back and make any edits, or even as you continue to work forward, I'd look back at those early chapters and try to draw some inspiration from the style and type of writing you were doing then, and weave it in with what you're doing now. The fusion would be more effective than either in isolation in my opinion.

All in all though you've done good work with an intriguing plot, characters with little canon to serve as background, and a very difficult situation and its myriad complications.

I wish you the best going forward and I hope my reviews helped. Please PM me if you have questions!

Author's Response: No worries, Dominique is not retreating into self-pity... but it's just that she's at a point in her life when she is not ready for something like marriage, plus she cares about Teddy and she'd rather not see him "childless" for the rest of his life. More on that in the next chapter of course =)

I am pleased over all you feel like the story started strong, that the plot is logical, and characters more or less believable.

I'll try to follow your advice and weave in more description and emotion in the story as it moves on, and when I come back to edit.

Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews. They've given me some valuable feedback. Apologies for the delay in responding.


 Report Review

Review #9, by TidalDragon A Ray of Light

16th April 2014:
Well, Delilah got her comeuppance didn't she? It felt rather rushed to me, but the outcome was right in the end.

I did like the touches you made about the legal system in the wizarding world, putting bounds on the use of veritaserum and discussing the pensieve chamber for example. Both were interesting takes on things we know from canon that served your story well.

The biggest thing for me in this chapter was the profanity and outbursts. I can understand some of it, but I think it was a little overboard here. This is a personal opinion, but I think profanity works best when used at crucial emotional points for maximum impact. You used it as a couple of potential right moments here, but when you used it more frequently it diluted the effect. I understand that it helped to make Delilah seem a bit more unhinged, but I think that might have been better developed through a balance of internal thoughts/observations or a more extended confrontation between Dominique and her (former?) boss.

Now that she's gone though and the mystery is solved, I'm wondering where we go next. The A/N says a family gathering, so I'll see you there!

Author's Response: I am sorry if it felt rushed to you, I'll try to fix that.

The little details like that always please me so I'm glad you liked them too.

Since the story is mostly Dom's POV I'm not sure I can incorporate Delilah's inner thoughts here, but I'll try to work around the dialogues and tone down the profanity.

Thanks again for all your helpful feedback !


 Report Review

Review #10, by TidalDragon Meetings and more.

16th April 2014:
Hello again!

For this particular chapter, the biggest thing I noticed was that the dialogue really seemed to dominate more than usual. We got occasional internal thoughts or emotion language cast in, but by-and-large, such things were much more sparse, and the description not nearly as vivid as in chapters past. This was true of the previous chapter, albeit to a lesser extent, but the descriptions and powerful language you used to set the tone and mood so well in the first two chapters feel a long way away. I think the story would really benefit from taking the time to bring them all the way back.

In terms of plot, things are developing at a solid pace and flowing pretty well. I am following the story easily and not feeling overwhelmed with content and storylines or new developments, but at the same time not feeling like you're plodding along either. I think you could probably stand to inject a bit more detail, as I mentioned, but by and large you're doing well in these areas.

The characterizations were decent in this chapter. I definitely understand Dominique having mixed thoughts and volatile emotions in the immediate aftermath of what happened. I also appreciate Teddy's anger and intensity, but him running hot and cold didn't seem to fit as much for me as it did for Dominique. One minute he was ready to fight, the next he was trying to calm Dominique down and it just seemed a bit inconsistent at times.

Looking forward to the final two chapters you have up!

Author's Response: Hello again! Yes there was a lot more dialogue in this chapter but it had to be done since it was necessary for the scene. The first chapter was a prologue of sorts and it set the tone for the story thus more description there. But I'll try to bring back the imagery and descriptions if I can =)

I am glad you are liking the plot and the pace seems okay.

I'll look into the inconsistency as well.

Thanks =)


 Report Review

Review #11, by TidalDragon Decisions and Discoveries

16th April 2014:
Alrighty, so diving right in, I thought the moments between Fleur and Dominique stood out as positives, along with the interaction between Dominique and Teddy.

In terms of areas for improvement, I think it would have been useful to look at Fleur's speech patterns from the books and try to mirror them better. I can understand the patterns being less pronounced over time, since she would presumably have lived in the U.K. with Bill for quite some time now and slightly adjusted, but I think it would have made that characterization more nuanced to have them manifest in some way (other than the French words).

Also (and this is really more minor), I felt the part after the transition from Teddy and Dom's spat to the questioning of the attack was a bit rushed - rather than Dominique speaking consistently in larger paragraphs, I think two characters who know one another so well would most likely have exhibited more balance and back-and-forth, which would have made that portion feel a bit less jumbled as well.

At any rate, the plot is remaining interesting with the new developments you are inserting and it is mostly flowing well on the whole.

See you next chapter!

Author's Response: I am pleased you liked the moments between Fleur and Dominique, and Teddy/Dom.
I figured Fleur's accent would have faded over time but I'll see if I can add more of the touches to her dialogues.
I'll work on the dialogues between Teddy/Dom.

Thanks =)


 Report Review

Review #12, by TidalDragon More Bad News

16th April 2014:
Hello again!

This was a very interesting chapter. When I first read the revelation about Dominique being unable to have children, my gut reactions was - WHAT?! But look at Teddy! And then you followed it up with a very logical well-reasoned explanation. So that was very good.

On the flip side, I think that news and the reactions to it are probably the some of the most difficult things to possibly write. That also makes it hard to comment on because I don't know your personal experience with it. I will leave it at this - I think I wanted a bit more of Dominique's internal thoughts. This was a huge moment - the type that gives you license to make time stand still - and I think you could have massively magnified it by doing so. Drilling in on the smallest details that Dominique notices, her thoughts, her emotions, her reactions to simple things like light and the voices talking to her. I thought it was largely handled appropriately, but I thought those kind of touches could have made it that much more impactful.

We didn't really see enough of Fleur and Victoire here to comment too much on their characterization, but I thought Teddy was solid and the scene you wrote between he and Dominique that represented the beginning of the chapter was well done. Some of Teddy's dialogue seemed overly complex in terms of vocabulary, but perhaps that's an aspect of his character you're laying out.

All in all a good chapter that certainly leaves a big cliffhanger to transition to the next one.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks again for reading and reviewing.

I am glad the explanation made sense. Thank you for the CC as well, I'll try to focus more on her inner thoughts and reactions if I edit =)

Yeah I didn't bring much of Fleur and Victoire in this but Teddy is a huge part of the whole scene in the story so I'm glad you liked his characterisation. I'll look into the dialogue as well.

Thanks =)


 Report Review

Review #13, by TidalDragon Reflecting and Brooding

16th April 2014:
Howdy! Sorry it's taken so long, but I'm dropping in on this chapter to start my answer to your review request as I knew the moment I got your request I had already R&R'd the first two chapters. This story is actually in my Reading List, so that should tell you I already liked what I read earlier.

As far as this chapter goes, I thought it did well at advancing the plot and developing some relationships and characters that I get the sense will be important in the future. I thought it flowed nicely from scene to scene, which is no mean feat when you also involve a flashback, so kudos on that.

As for the different scenes themselves, I honestly wasn't a big fan of the flashback scene. I know you had a lot to explore and resolve in a short frame of time, but the ending in particular seemed a bit hurried and off to me. Maybe having Dominique return to the present to actively reflect on Victoire's acceptance would allow you to keep it succinct but still have the nice Dom/Teddy-centric portion of the flashback? Just a thought.

I really liked the characterization of the editor. I would hate to work for her, but she was certainly distinctive and you absolutely got across the type of person she is in a very short amount of time with her dialogue and demeanor.

I also liked that you came full circle back to Teddy at the end. It made the flashback at the beginning more meaningful, and also made for what I think will be a nice transition to the next chapter.

See you in Chapter 4!

Author's Response: Hello there! I'm so sorry for the terribly late response but I've been super busy! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing my story!

I am pleased you liked what you've read earlier. I am glad you liked how this advanced the plot and developed the relationships as especially the latter was my main aim.

I want to redo the flashback yes, and I'll look into it whenever i get time =) Thanks for the comments!

I am pleased you like Delilah's characterisation as well, and the whole ending with Teddy.

Thanks!


 Report Review

Review #14, by teh tarik At The Burrow

14th April 2014:
Helloo AD! Well, FINALLY I'm all caught up with the story! Took me awhile but yay, I'm so pleased.

From the beginning, I kind of suspected that Teddy was going to do something drastic...like propose to Dom, bahaha, and I was right. I assumed that was him in the kitchen conspiring with Victoire and Ian on the best way to do it! :P Seriously, Teddy is my dream partner. I WANT SOMEONE LIKE THAT!!

I love how you wrote a big Weasley family gathering! I always have all the admiration for authors who tackle these huge Burrow gatherings because there are just so many people who know each other really well, and it can be tricky writing these big group situations, but you did it so well. I love Nana Molly and her cookies and her mothering, and Hermione and Percy and everyone. The characters were really well-written, and well-distinguished from each other. I especially loved Hermione and the Wolfsbane potion. Gah, Dom is SO lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive extended family. Everyone is just so good to her. :)

AND TEDDY PROPOSED. What a lovely speech he made, and I love that he made those references to the garden of their childhood. It's so lovely *SIGHS*. Aw no, DOM IS GOING TO SAY NO! D: Hopefully Teddy'll convince her fully in the next chapter!

I can't wait to read the next bit, and what will happen on the full moon! Great chapter, AD ♥

teh

Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: Hey Nicole! Great to see you back =)

Haha I am glad you suspected something was up as that was my aim xD Ah, don't we all want someone like Teddy? hehe.

It's such a relief to hear you liked the way I wrote the gathering. Trust me, I am not one of those authors who can usually write these huge Burrow gatherings well - I was very very afraid while writing the scene and wasn't sure how it turned out. But your words have put me somewhat at ease and made me happy =) I am pleased you liked how the characters were written including Hermione - she's a major canon character and writing her was another daunting task for me so I am glad it paid off. Dom is very lucky yes =)

I am pleased you liked the speech too - I wrote it off the top of my head with no "planning" at all xD But yes Dom said no.. sorry teddy. *evil laugh*

As for what happens next, you'll have to wait and watch xD

Thank you once again!


 Report Review

Review #15, by Twinkleflower The Worst Had Happened

12th April 2014:
It has been a while since I have read this story, but I thought I would pick it up again and I am really glad I did. This chapter just seems to tick all the boxes. I love the fact that it was packed full of emotion, which made your characters so believable and real. This was particularly effective at making me feel more connected to Dominique, as I felt her internal emotional struggle as well as her outward emotions. I also thought your dialogue was superbly written, it just drew me right into the thick of it. I am really intrigued to see where you take it from here. A well deserved 10/10.

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for coming back =) I am glad you liked the chapter with the emotions and characters. It's great that you could connect to Dominique. Thank you for all your lovely comments!

 Report Review

Review #16, by teh tarik A Ray of Light

2nd April 2014:
Hey Aditi!

I'm here for the TGS Review Exchange...last month's, actually, eep. Sorry for the lateness of this; I've been so preoccupied with things, ugh. Anyway, I am SO pleased to finally get the chance to return to your story! I've read most of it, and in this chapter, at last, things are beginning to wrap up, justice is served and all that.

I thought you did a great job maintaining all that tension and drama, as you've done in all the previous chapters. I love how Dominique holds her ground with Delilah, but also how she very nearly goes to pieces in the end; I honestly can't imagine how she must be feeling about the whole thing - it has been a long, hard battle to bring the perpetrator of the crime to justice, and to deal with the effects of her new condition, and it's gratifying to see that despite being pushed to the limit sometimes, she makes it, and that there's a good chance that Delilah will be going to Azkaban.

Speaking of Delilah, wow! She is one completely mental villain! From this chapter, it sounds like Dom has previously done nothing at all to merit such rage and resentment from Delilah - except perhaps to inherit some media attention from her parents. It's not something that she can help, but it's something that Delilah is infuriated about - to think that her lesser employee gets more spotlight than her! And to make things more twisted, Delilah is pretty much the person who hires Dom. Wow. I'm beginning to think that Delilah hired Dom on purpose, either because she wanted to destroy her from the onset (for no reason other than sheer jealousy), or she wanted to compete with Dom's popularity with the wizarding world, and then failed, and then became vengeful and angry and sadistic. I like the way you wrote her emotional arc through this chapter: from indifference, to confusion and feigned ignorance, to rage, and then to the complete breakdown where she goes REALLY INSANE and pretty much confesses to the crime herself. I'm so glad this mad person is getting put away. :P

It's been a great story so far, AD! I'm really curious to see how you'll tie things up, and how you'll conclude things for Dom, now that her life is going to be so different to what it once was. I know you've been super busy, lovely, but I really do hope you'll be able to find a spare moment to write and update! You're SO CLOSE to finishing.

Absolutely great work, AD! ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Hey Nicole!

Thanks for stopping by =)

The story is nearing its end and things are wrapping up but there are just a few more things to be sorted out and it'll be done!

I am pleased you liked the whole tension and drama going on in this chapter. Dominique has a lot to deal with so its nice to know that you liked how I portrayed her feelings over all here.

Delilah is pretty crazy yes. She did hire Dom on purpose - she seized at the opportunity to have a famous person working under her - and well things went downhill from there. It's great that you enjoyed her emotional arc.

Yeah I am really busy but I hope to write a new chapter soon, which will probably be the second last chapter!

Thanks for all your lovely words!


 Report Review

Review #17, by Lululuna At The Burrow

21st March 2014:
Hi Aditi! :) I'm here for your requested review from like a month ago, I'm really sorry it took this long to get here. :( The Battle really took a lot of my reviewing inspiration and time as I'm sure you can relate to. :P

This was a really wonderful chapter! :) I really like how now that Delilah Jones has been taken care of, Dominique is starting to realize the true, lifelong consequences of what it means to be a werewolf. It's so interesting how she hasn't really thought about it much until now, almost as if she's in denial. So much has happened in the last month, and I feel that she's been busier with solving the mystery and bringing the people who hurt her to justice rather than accepting the everyday reality of the situation. Her confused emotions about her scar were so sad - but I'm glad that Teddy is there to support her and show her that she deserves to love herself for who she is.

I loved the Burrow gathering and that warm, Weasley feeling, from how much food there was to how welcoming and supportive everybody was. But then there was also the darker, more stressful undertone, and I could tell how Dom felt a little uncomfortable and like her family was nervous for her. That seems very realistic, although of course a lot of the worry is in Dominique's head. Her fear of the moon and dwelling on how symbolic it would become reminded me of Remus and his fear of the moon as well.

Hermione was just wonderful here, I think you wrote her very nicely in terms of canon. She had that kind, thoughtful and very perceptive character which I loved about her in the HP books, and I like how her nurturing instincts have grown and shown her to be this very motherly figure who also is good at taking action. Hermione brewing the potion for Dom is just perfect since it took me right back to the Polyjuice potion in Myrtle's bathroom days. :P

It's quite upsetting how the Ministry doesn't have the potion on hand for werewolves - seems like they're just as useless as they've always been, sadly. :( The idea of Dom having to wait for the potion and brewing the potion for her being illegal is just quite corrupt and unfair, and makes me worry for the people who are in similar situations to Dom but might not have the resources she does.

One thing about that conversation which made me curious though, was why Hermione was worried about Arthur being concerned about Hermione breaking the Ministry's rules and giving Dominique the potion? I would imagine that the whole family would want Dom to be as safe and comfortable as possible during her transformation, and Arthur isn't exactly a saint himself considering he hid a magically enhanced flying car. :P I'd be more worried about Percy, personally, since he was a bit of a rule-stickler in the books. So maybe that's something to consider if you edit this chapter as it did confuse me a little. :)

And the proposal! Aw, poor Teddy. :( I suspected something was up the whole chapter, and I was right! :D His proposal was very sweet - I especially liked how he mentioned their first kiss and what the garden at the Burrow meant to them, aw. ♥

That being said, I think Dominique did the right thing in stopping him from proposing. It's sad, and uncomfortable, but I don't think this is the best time for her to have something like this, another change in her life, coming onto her plate. She's about to have her first transformation, she's still coming to terms with herself, and Teddy should know her well enough to wait until she's ready and in a stable and accepting place before putting another thing on her plate, even if it's a happy thing. Dom still has a lot of personal issues and identity problems she needs to cope with, and I think she needs to learn to be herself again. :)

Here are a few little nitpicky things I noticed (feel free to ignore them, of course! :))

her thoughts resuming to the scar... I feel like "resuming" is a bit of an odd word to use in this sentence. "returning to the scar" would make sense, or "she resumed thinking about the scar," because of the kind of verb it is.

hide any part of yours from me... "yours" should be "yourself" I think.

She said excitedly, hugging her sister and ushering them in. Dominique hugged her back then fell into step beside Victoire. I just noticed that these two sentences contradicted one another, the way it reads now is that they hugged, Victoire let them in, Dominique hugged her again, and then they walked in. So it's a little out of order.

Mama thought you are not coming... "are" should be "were."

her father who sat on the sofa... Should be "was sitting on the sofa" because... I think it's called a progressive verb? If he actually did the action of sitting down when she was looking at him then it would fit, but because he's already sitting should be "was sitting." :)

This was a really great chapter, I think one of my favourites so far! I'm looking forward to the next one especially and seeing how Dominique copes with her transformation and how it might change her. I wonder if she might even have a positive experience and realize that being a werewolf is something she can cope with.

Thanks for requesting and I hope you find this review helpful.This was a great read! :)

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

I definitely found this review helpful and I'll look into the things you pointed out, and edit as soon as I get some time =)

I am glad you liked the way I wrote Dominique here and all her emotions. It's also great to know that you found the Weasley gathering realistic as I am not very good with family gathering stuff but it's nice to know you liked it.

It's a relief that you liked Hermione too and felt her tied with canon. Thank you! And yes, the Arthur part, I should change it to Percy! Thanks for the suggestion xD

I quite agree with your thoughts on the proposal. Teddy wanted to bring some happiness into Dom's life with the proposal but he needs to understand that this is really not the best time as Dom is still coming to terms with her new identity. Nonetheless, Dom will explain things to him (or will she? ;)).

Thank you once again for your detailed and thoughtful review =)


 Report Review

Review #18, by ShadowRose At The Burrow

14th March 2014:
WHAT. NO. YOU CAN'T END A CHAPTER LIKE THAT I AM NOT OK.

*takes a deep breath* I should probably settle myself before I attempt to write a review in all caps. :P

Aww, I love Teddy in this chapter. He's so in love with Dominique, and he shows it in so many ways throughout the chapter - by telling her to let her scar show, insinuating that it's a special night and accidentally almost telling her his plan (I guessed what was going to happen almost immediately at that point and I felt so proud of myself), helping her through her family's weird looks and overconcernedness, and then proposing to her at the end. Gah, that was such a cute proposal and I just want to hug him but I know that's Dominique's job. I can't believe she's saying "no," but I know that'll probably be an important plot point and she has her reasoning, even if it's not the best logic.

I'm so glad that Hermione's stepping in to help! She's so great, and I love that she's going back to her rule-breaking Hogwarts days in order to get this potion for Dominique. "Letís just say that Voldemort wouldnít have died if we had all stayed true to rules and laws" was a beautifully perfect line. It's so true and just made me laugh.

Overall, this was a really great chapter, but you really need to update soon because this cliffhanger might just be the death of me!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 6/20 for opposite house)

heard about Jones been taken away

Author's Response: Haha I am so flattered that you've read your way to the end of this, THANK YOU!

I am glad you liked Teddy here, along with the whole family discomfort thing. The proposal was adorable yes, and her reasoning/logic is definitely flawed and stupid in my opinion but we'll know it later xP

It's nice that you liked the bit with Hermione too, and that line xD

Thanks again! I'll try to update as soon as uni gives me some breathing room!


 Report Review

Review #19, by ShadowRose A Ray of Light

14th March 2014:
Hey Aditi, I'm back again!

Wow, this is definitely a dramatic chapter. I love how she tries to deny it all at first in order to preserve her innocence, but gradually gets more and more crazy as she realises all the evidence against her. It's so dramatic at by the end as she completely loses it - I love it! She starts off just casually cynical, making a few disparaging comments and accurisng her of being sick and threatening to fire her, but she eventually starts yelling and screaming and trying to make a getaway, which was a really great way to show her descent into madness. Her reasoning, however horrible, definitely seems like something she would view as logical, and I'm glad she got caught for her craziness and everyone knows she's nuts now.

Dominique's gotten so strong as this story has gone on - she's so ruthless here and really lets her anger play a role in intimidating Delilah and getting a confession out of her. I like that she had Teddy ready for back-up - she's definitely done her homework here.

The moment at the end was a great way to wrap it up. After all of the crazy drama, she has a moment of relief to relax with her boyfriend and her best friend, and she almost forgets all of her troubles. After all she's been through, goodness knows she deserved a moment like that.

This was another really great chapter - it was action-packed but came with an immensely satisfying conclusion. I can't wait to see what comes next!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 5/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey again!

Thanks once more for your lovely review. I am pleased you liked Delilah's evolution of attitude here, or descent into madness as you so aptly described it.

I am pleased you liked Dominique too - she has gotten strong yes. The vulnerable side is still there, but she is pulling herself together.

I am happy you liked the chapter over all along with the conclusion of it. Thanks!


 Report Review

Review #20, by ShadowRose Meetings and more.

14th March 2014:
Hi Aditi!

I really love Dom's change in attitude in this chapter. While it's horrible that someone plotted to hurt her, it's definitely put a new fire under her belt and brought her back from the self-pity she's been wallowing in for the past few days. She's got a lot of anger to take out, and she definitely does a good job of intimidating Young into giving her what she wants, even if it means pulling the Harry Potter card.

Wilson Young is definitely an interesting character - he seems like a bit of a wreck, and he doesn't have much of a moral compass, now does he? It seems he was just trying to find a way to get by, and he happened to chose something that was a really immoral and horrible idea. His comment to Dominique, however innocent it may have been, definitely shows how prevalent werewolf prejudice is in their society.

It's also really obvious as she's walking into the office, and everyone's kind of scared of her and wants to keep her at arm's length. It's good that Julia, at least, doesn't feel that way, because at least Dominique has someone to turn to in the office. The dynamic between the two of them is great, and their friendship seems really natural and friendly.

I love Dom and Teddy's relationship in this chapter. They're both so protective of one another but also know when to hold down the other one. They work really well as a couple, because they constantly read one another so well.

Ooh, and a confrontation is about to go down. I love the way you've ended this - it's so dramatic! I hope Delilah Jones goes down, because goodness knows she deserves it.

Another really great chapter!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 4/20 for opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing again! Apologies for late response!

I am glad you like Dom's attitude here. She's still hurting inside but she has decided to distract herself from that at the moment and receive justice. I also enjoyed putting in the Harry Potter card - after all the next-gen should have some advantage of that xP

Young is definitely a wreck. He's lost in life and will do anything to get by. He is someone to be pitied really.

I believe true friends and people who truly love you don't abandon you no matter what and Julia is one of them =)

I am glad you like the relationship of Dom/Teddy too, as well as the dramatic ending.

Thanks!


 Report Review

Review #21, by ShadowRose Decisions and Discoveries

14th March 2014:
Hi Aditi, I'm back again for the next chapter!

There are so many good interactions throughout this chapter. I love the relationship between Dominique and Fleur and Victoire - they seem so close-knit and loving, and it's so great to see a family like that. The decision she had to make was heartbreaking, and I think you did a great job of capturing all the numbness associated with it. I love how supportive her family is being, and how they're all there to be with her as she goes through with the procedure.

I actually really like the little spat between her and Teddy, because it definitely makes their relationship seem more realistic. Teddy's a great guy, but I can see why he'd get fed up with Dominique's behaviour eventually. It's nice that they get over it and Teddy tells her he still loves her even if she can't have children.

Oh wow, this was sabotage? That's dramatic! And Delilah Jones? Wow, I can't believe she'd do something like that! Although, in hindsight it does seem a bit odd that she so suddenly developed this human-interest piece idea, so I wonder if that was part of the motive? I guess I'll have to wait and see!

This was a really great chapter, and a great way for me to get back into this story after such a long time! Good work!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 2/20 on opposite house)

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks again for reading and reviewing! I am pleased you liked the interactions in this chapter between the mother and her two daughters. It was a little out-of-the-comfort-zone thing for me to write as I don't do families but it's good to know you liked it =) As for her decision, it is of course hard but yes her family will be there with her through it all.

Yes, I felt like Teddy is human after all and he can't possibly take Dom's behaviour without reacting. Nonetheless, he still loves her and that is one thing which is a constant in Dom's life.

As for Delilah's motive, yes you'll have to wait and see =) I am glad you're enjoying the story, thanks!


 Report Review

Review #22, by MadiMalfoy A Ray of Light

14th March 2014:
Hi, MadiMalfoy here with your long-awaited review! :)

Wow was this chapter intense! Delilah completely loses it and I found it pretty hilarious that she did! It's so over the top that it's perfect! And Dominique not even caring all that much because she's too upset and outraged at her boss for doing all this just for some power!

The way you had her taken away was pretty great too! No easy escape for the villain! Dominique was pretty ruthless herself but she had a right to be so I'm glad you elaborated on that!

Overall this was a great shorter chapter that tied up some loose ends from previous chapters and set up a little for stuff coming up! I loved it! Please feel free to re-request at your convince. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! Apologies for such a late response!

I am pleased you liked the intensity of the chapter and enjoyed how Delilah slowly lost it xD I was worried the whole over-the-top thing wouldn't work but I am glad you liked that.

Yes, it was a filler chapter of sorts but it was necessary. Thanks again =)


 Report Review

Review #23, by ShadowRose More Bad News

14th March 2014:
Hey Aditi - I've been meaning to read and review this story for ages, so what better time than Blackout Bingo?

Wow, Dominique is just having one heck of a day. First her boss comes by, now this bomb? Yikes, I can see why she'd be freaking out - her whole life is falling apart before her eyes.

Teddy's so sweet here, he's so understanding of everything and he's able to finally get her to open up to people, which is something that no one else has been able to successfully do yet. I mean, he's definitely struggling on his own, but he's able to put on a strong face for Dominique and be there for her as all of this is happening. I love how defensive he gets of her when she tells him what happened with her boss - it's so adorable that he cares for her so much!

Wow, that's so heartbreaking for Dominique. I mean, I can definitely see why having a child would be hard as a werewolf, but I'd never really thought about that before. Poor Dominique keeps having all these different opportunities ripped away from her, all because of this one werewolf bite. It's a shame she'll never be able to have kids - I feel like Teddy/Dom kids would be absolutely adorable! I can't imagine what state I'd be in if I had to stomach that kind of news, so I'm definitely proud of her for keeping herself somewhat together as she learns all of this.

Gahh, why'd you have to end it on a cliffhanger? I guess it's not that bad, considering I can just flip to the next chapter, but I can't imagine having to wait to figure out what this decision is referring to - I have to know now! With that, I'm on to the next chapter! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

(Blackout Battle review 1/20 on other house)

Author's Response: Hey! I am glad you got a chance to read this story =)

Yes, the story is called The Worst for a reason xP

I am glad you like my Teddy. He definitely knows how to be strong for his loved ones. Harry and Andromeda's upbringing has led to that =)

I always pondered what happens to a female werewolf's child if she's pregnant, and it just didn't make sense for the child inside to survive the transformations. She has kept it together on the outside but it's eating away at her inside, poor Dom.

I do love cliffhangers xD I am glad you're liking the story, thanks!


 Report Review

Review #24, by anythingcouldhappen Decisions and Discoveries

7th March 2014:
Hi! Reviewing this for Blackout Bingo :)

So.

I. Want. To. Kill. Delilah. Jones.

But actually.

I CANNOT believe she did that. Of course its probably more complicated than it appears, but if she actually made such a deal and now I guess hopes to profit off Dom's story--that is so twisted. She is corrupt and heartless and I really want to strangle her. She just changed Dom's life irrevocably! You can't just do that to someone! She took away Dom's future children! Honestly that's the part that gets me the most. I know adoption is a great option, but that doesn't make the pain Dom must be feeling any less.

Argh!!!

I am so frustrated. So angry and frustrated. What a stupid, hateful woman.

In other news, you have made me get more emotionally attached to Dom than I have been to a fanfic character in a long time. Congrats! *claps*

I really liked this chapter, because it kept developing the dynamic between Dom and her family and Teddy. That was nice. I hope Bill comes in more in the future chapters!

Great job, again!

Sam

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Delilah is definitely twisted, and there's more to her reasons than just a story which we find out in later chapters. And yes, the not being able to have children part is probably the worst of effects that the bite had =(

I am quite flattered that my story brought out such a strong reaction out of you. I am pleased you could get emotionally attached to Dom. Thank you so much!



 Report Review

Review #25, by TidalDragon The Worst Had Happened

7th March 2014:
Hello again!

So I definitely liked the beginning of this chapter. I thought it flowed really well from the last and you did a good job of portraying the feelings that Dominique was experiencing there, especially her panic in the nightmare/memory and her relief at coming to.

Some of the interactions with family later felt a bit odd for me. For example I know that Fleur would obviously be devastated, but given her strength in handling Bill's condition and all the experience she would have had with it over all those years, it seemed like she would have taken extra care to comfort her and stay by her side and that Bill would certainly have stayed regardless.

I did think it ended well though in terms of Dominique's overarching reaction of pushing everyone away. It will be interesting to see how she fights through to come to terms with her new condition as the story progresses.

Thanks for keeping this story going!

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for continuing to read this. I am pleased you liked the beginning of the chapter as it was something I was pretty anxious about. Her emotions were a little hard to deal with so I'm glad you liked that too.

Well, in my opinion, with Fleur and Bill the situation was a bit different as Bill didn't turn into a full-fledged werewolf and moreover, he was her fiance/husband. But this is her daughter - and Fleur's just had a shock. She'll be stronger further on as she regains composure though =)

Besides, they all know Dominique very well and they know that she wants to be left alone at such a time. Nonetheless, I am glad you liked the ending too.

Thanks!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>