Reading Reviews for Promises
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Chapter One

14th March 2013:
Hello!

I'm here with your requested review! Sorry it's taken so long - RL's crazy. Of course I wanted to read it though when I saw it!

So when I first started reading this I thought I had it figured out. I was almost positive I knew what Lily's secret was and it was going to break my heart while reading this story. Then you started talking about polyjucie potion and I got a little confused.

The beginning was a really refreshing read though. I hate Lily and James not being all happy happy but this was so much more realistic. Of course James would be feeling trapped and angry that he was being safe - even if he had good reason. And of course this would cause a lot of tension between the two of them. I thought the whole thing felt really real so go you!

The whole scene with Bathilda was really good. I loved her characterisation - she seemed quite motherly but not overbearing. Her and Lily seem like they would be good friends. The way she was worried about them all as they were only children was heart breaking.

I was so happy when James came in and apolagised. I like happy Lily and James.

It couldn't last though could it? I had a feeling something bad was going to happen and just so you know I think you may have broken my heart! Oh this can't be true, the stories sad enough as it is without this actually happening!

You wrote the whole thing well - keeping to the quotes in the book and film but adding to it and making it more real in my eyes.

It's just so sad though! I actually teared up at the end when it was confirmed that lily was pregnant as I suspected.

Amazingly well written one-shot even though it's so sad!

Lauren :)

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Review #2, by megthechef43 Chapter One

5th March 2013:
Remus,

Wow. What an interesting idea! I never thought about it that way but they were locked up in a cottage all day with nothing to do. I like that you mentioned the mobile that Peter had gotten Harry it helped make the betrayal that much deeper in this story. Peter was more than James and Lily's friend but he also acted as an "Uncle" for Harry. This was a GREAT one-shot but I did notice a few places that need attention. I think I quick re-through and you would get it.

Megthechef43 aka Meg

Author's Response: Hey! First of all so sorry for the super late review response. Better than waiting a year unlike the other reviews I had. Ugh, so sorry nonetheless!

I'm glad that you found the idea interesting. Being locked up can do a lot of things to people. Lily's anxiety and James's anger was something that I could relate to considering that I've gone through something similar. Minus the whole person looking for my child to kill him deal. And yeah! I wanted to mention Peter's mobile to put more emphasis on the betrayal. It's one of those "how dare you give them a present when you're working for Voldemort?!" deal. Thank you for your kind words and I'll be definitely looking through this chapter once again to sort out any mistakes.

Thank you!!


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Review #3, by CloakAuror9 Chapter One

4th March 2013:
Hi! I saw you signed up for the Gryffindor-Slytherin review challenge, so I thought I might as well drop by and score some points. Okay, when you said that the story was based off a rumour you found on the internet, I had this idea in the back of my brain that it was probably about James and Lily's second child. So you know, I was a bit shocked on how right that idea was at the end of the story. But the one I read was about Lily making Severus the godfather of the second child, so I was a bit nervous that somewhere, halfway through Lily would say to James that she's not only pregnant but also that she wants Severus to be the godfather. I'm kind of glad that didn't happen. :P

Anyway, enough chit-chat from me. The idea of James and Lily being cooped up in their house for such a long time depressed me. I'm a very indoorsy person, but I still like the idea of getting some fresh air and having a nice walk around the neighbourhood every once in a while. It must've been really awful for them and, not only that, their friends were also fighting the war! The anxiety and depression the two of them experienced must've been horrible.

I realised that when you started telling us about how the two of them reacted to Fabian and Gideon's death, though I always imagined them hugging and comforting each other everytime they got the news of their friends' death. But I think James spacing himself out like that is very James-y and, in my opinion, deep down James probably partly blamed himself for the deaths of the two. Hmmm.

And Bathilda! I had never given her character much thought until now. I've always imagined her as a cold and bitter old woman, but she's quickly changing into a much friendlier and warmer character. I love her dialogues! My two favourite would have to be when she says that they are all just children fighting wars...that was just so simple and yet powerful. And the second one is about how when Harry was born, a lioness was born inside Lily. It can't get any better than that, can it?

Oh my gosh, someone help me handle the feels. I can't take this. No matter how many times I read their death scenes, canon or non-canon, I always end up bawling. I just can't. Oh my gosh.

*ten minutes later*

Okay, I'm done crying. This was a really well-written one-shot! The emotions combined with the chilling descriptions in the story was just amazing, especially when it came to Voldemort's arrival. Your word choices struck to me as simple yet powerful, even though I haven't got a clue as to why. And you did a fantastic job making the whole story so realistic! I did see a couple or so sentences were words were repeated twice and I did have to re-read some of the bits towards the end, but that was probably just because of my blurry eyesight. Anyway, I absolutely enjoyed reading this sad tale of yours, it really made me wonder how James would've reacted once Lily's secret was revealed to him! Fantastic job. ♥

~Izzy

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Review #4, by aquabluez17 Chapter One

3rd March 2013:
Okay this was amazing.

I have never heard that rumor before but its really interesting how you incorporated that.

I do have to say that in the middle I got a little distracted and my attention wavered. Maybe you could break up the para or break up the explanation w memories or anything? just to make it more captivating.

I really liked this story and it was just so sadd!! ahh~ great job really!! poor Harry losing his sibling:(
Wish James had known :(

Great work!

Author's Response: thank you for the review

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Review #5, by Roots in Water Chapter One

3rd March 2013:
It's Roots in Water here with your review!

To start off, let me just say that as soon as you said you had based this story off of a rumour you found online, I was very eager to find exactly what rumour you meant. My mind was racing in many different directions in an attempt to figure out which rumour you meant... And I finally felt like I had a solid lead at the end of the scene with Bathilda Bagshot.

Jumping forwards to the end of the story, I really liked how you wrote the end of the story. This whole piece felt as though it was centered around Lily's secret and by revealing the big secret in the last lines, it gave the ending a very powerful feeling and a definite sense of conclusion.

As well, I really liked how you included Bathilda Bagshot in this story. Though it's been a little while since I've read the HP series, I still remember the mentions of her being friends with the young Potter couple and it was nice to see you bringing these mentions to the forefront in this story. It makes sense that Lily would lean on an older woman that she views as trustworthy for advice during the very troubled times of the War.

Bathilda Bagshot's views about the war were also very interesting and well done- you did a great job of getting inside the (potential) mindset of an elderly woman. The alternative perspective or regrets of seeing a young life cut short was very intriguing. However, the small moment where Bathilda said "Children, that's what you are" in an unpleasant tone threw me a little bit because the unpleasantness seemed so strange for the conversation and the characters, particularly since Bathilda seems to hold no negative feeligs towards the couple and is simply very sad and regretful about her observations of the war.

Back to your actual questions, though! I think that you did a great job of describing the anxiety and depression Lily would be feeling in her situation. I think I would be feeling very confused, nervous and frightened if I was in her position: trying to raise a targeted child with the chance to bring another fragile and vulnerable child into the world. They are in far from the ideal situation and she couldn't be certain of James' reaction, not when he'd been acting differently.

But James' actions work well within the context of the story as well. It would be weirder and a lot less realistic if neither of them was affected at all by the War. It's perfectly clear that James is suffering from being trapped and feeling oppressed by the War and its consequences. There is no real upside to it and he's left doing a chore that he simultaneously hates and likes doing: gardening.

I noticed two very small mistakes as I was reading through. The first one was with the phrase "very little ingredient to make the potion"- I think that you're missing a few words; should it actually be "very little of the ingredients necessary to make..."? The second one was with the phrase "present from Moody for Harry‚€™s christening"- you missed the "a" at the beginning. :)

I could be missing something really obvious (and wouldn't that make me look silly?) but why was she lamenting the loss of three/two children? Who was the third child who died that day, other than Harry and the unborn child?

As well, why would their Polyjuice supply be depleted? Was Lily using it to hide her pregnancy? I can't seem to quite figure out why the Polyjuice is needed...

All in all, I think that you did a great job with this story! It does a great job of exploring a rumour that I have also heard floating around the Internet. I hope that I've covered all of your concerns/questions and thanks for requesting a review!

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Review #6, by my_voice_rising Chapter One

27th February 2013:
Hi there! I'm here with your requested review, and as usual, it's late. xD

First off, I love that James's reaction was to be sullen and spend time alone. It's something that Harry did when he was upset. I don't know if that decision was made consciously or not, but it's very believable. Lily's nervousness to tell James is also very human and earnest. I like that you didn't make her this perfect martyr-type character; she did something that she wasn't supposed to and has to face to consequences.

Also, I love that you made them have arguments and that they had to struggle with their relationship at times. It's so easy to hold them on this pedestal because of what happened in canon, but they were human after all. And nice touch that tending the garden was a task he "both loved and hated."

Oh my gosh, Bathilda's line is so haunting. "All of you are just children fighting wars." So sad; and another way that we rarely got to think of these characters in canon. They were older than Harry, so we never were able to view them in this way. So heartwrenching.

Gah, how cute that James summoned roses from the neighbor's garden. haha. A bit of humor to lighten to otherwise dark mood.

Oh wow. I have goosebumps. The longer I read the more I realized what Lily's secret was, but your line "Yet deep down, inside her heart she lamented the loss of three children, not two" was so saddening. Oh my gosh. I actually almost cried; I don't remember the last time a fic made me do that.

I love Bathilda's role in this story. I just have one critique: your ending kind of goes into this esoteric, fairy-tale narrative tone. "That fateful day" and "until the end of her days" in particular conflict with the rest of the story. I think if you rearranged the last few paragraphs so that it ended with the "three children, not two" line, it would be more powerful. It would also tie back in to the most saddening part of the story, when Bathilda says they're all just children fighting a war.

All in all though, this is really well-written. The only errors I noticed were some run-on sentences and some places where you repeat words (like "beautiful") twice within two sentences, and it sounds a bit redundant. But other than that, great work!

Author's Response: Heya! First of all, don't you ever worry about the lateness of a review! Hahaha, I mean...I'm how late to give you a review response? I'm the one who is sorry!

How James feels about this whole affair was something I was going through when this fic was written. Minus the whole 'dark wizard coming for your baby' scenario. There were days that I would feels the walls closing in on me and I wanted to show how that feels through James. The desperation and the strains that it can put on a relationship. Lily and James not arguing feels very fake. They were young people with an infant son, who had to remain hidden. There's nothing 'happy' about that.

Anyway! Enough of my rant/my feels! XD

Bathilda here was inspired by the movie Les Mis and the song 'Turning'. For Bathilda, this war is being fought by children. On both sides and feels helpless that there is nothing she could do to help.

Awww!! Well, at least I didn't make you really cry!

Yeah, I know what you mean about the end. I need to go back and do some tweaking into it. Me going through my personal 'bad time' didn't help when I was thinking of a proper end. So it feels very spaztic. I just wanted to leave it dark but at the same time I wanted to give it a nice end...I'm not sure. Hahaha! But I'll fix it!

Anyway!!! Thank you for your review!! I appreciate it and once again, so sorry that I took forever to give you a response.

Until next time
--Rosie


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Review #7, by Alexfan Chapter One

25th February 2013:
For some stupid reason my iPod isn't working right so I can't sign in.

Anyway, I love how believable this was. It seems right that there would be tension between James and Lily after being stuck in their house for so long.

I loved how James brought Lily flowers after -I'm assuming- ripping them out of the neighbors garden.

Just a little thing, I don't think you got how they died exactly right. James was wandless and lying on the couch relaxing and Lily had just taken Harry up to sleep. There wasn't a wand fight for neither James or Lily. They were just killed.

Anyway, I got shivers while reading this and I did enjoy it. You're a good writer.

Author's Response: Heya! First of all, thanks for coming by to review this and for the swap!

Lily and James have been trapped there for what they think has been forever so the tension just keeps on growing and growing. They love each other, that we know, but I wanted this to be as realistic as possible.

Yes, James did rip the flowers from a neighbor's garden.

However, I don't think James died while he was relaxing on the couch. I tried looking that up but I couldn't find anything to support it. I did find this info:

According to Voldemort, in page 660, chapter 34, James died "straight-backed and proud, the way your father died." That, for me, goes to show that James might've fought Voldemort until he died. Also, in PoA, from Harry's memories when Dementors come close, James tells Lily to "Go" so therefore she was with him when Voldemort arrived. James told Lily to "Take Harry and Go" because he was going to "hold him off" while Harry was in his cot, asleep.

JKR even goes to say "I'm not saying James wasn't ready to; he died trying to protect his family but he was going to be murdered anyway. He had no - he wasn't given a choice, so he rushed into it in a kind of animal way, I think there are distinctions in courage."--JKR, The WEB LINKLeaky Cauldron and MuggleNet interview Joanne Kathleen. July 16th, 2005.


Lily might've not actually fought Voldemort, but I wanted to show in this fic that she has this courage, this lioness, sleeping inside her and that she would do anything to protect her son.

Anyway, thank you so much for taking your time to read and review this one-shot for me! Also thank you for the swap! :)

--Rosie


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Review #8, by ValWitch21 Chapter One

25th February 2013:
Val for the review swap!

First of all, love your introduction paragraph: it draws the reader in, and now I'm really curious to see what happens next.

Storms ahead already... This is one of the few fics I've read where James and Lily actually don't seem to get along so well during their hiding, which makes a lot more sense than them being really cheerful about it. The way you describe it as 'entrapment' is particularly fitting.

Well. Bathilda is quite a bitter old lady, isn't she? And here you are, making me change my mind about a character in the space of a few lines. All of sudden she seems much more human and now I feel sorry for her.

What is the mystery about Lily? Chewing the inside of my cheek here.

AND ALL OF THE FEELS. James stealing the flowers from the neighbour, and apologising, and of course Voldemort had to interrupt this and now they're going to die and I'll cry and blargh.

You included Peter, how brilliant and evil of you to remind your poor readers of why James and Lily died. That's another sharp prod in my feels' direction.

Then the fight was lost.
The killing curse struck the young woman on the chest, just below her heart.

These two lines. I swear. The reference to the heart, when we know Lily's love is what saved Harry, and how the heart is the seat of courage and ugh.

Ah, I figured it would be something along those lines, but it still hurt when it came. Your ending was beautiful, almost lyrical, and the perfect conclusion to this beautiful one-shot.

Thank you for giving me a chance to read this!

Author's Response: Heya! Ugh!! So sorry for taking forever to come and give you a response! :( Better late than never...however much I dislike being late to begin with. :S

Anyway! Onward with the review response! XD

I've sort of been in Lily and James's scenario and this fic was born out of my own 'entrapment'. When I read fics of how happy they are while they're in hiding, how well things are going for them, I just don't believe it. These were two young people, with a newborn baby, being hunted down by one of the darkest wizards ever. There's nothing happy about that.

A Bathilda. She was their only friend. She feels bitter but mostly because she can't fight. She wants to but there's nothing she can do about it. She's old and slow and knows that she would be a burden to her friends.

Peter had to make an appearance. Just for a bit. However, now I wish I had added a line where Lily realizes what has happened, that Peter betrayed them and that they treated Remus horribly. Ugh...perhaps I'll go back and add that...

Thank you for taking your time to review this!! I really do appreciate every word! :D
And once again, I apologize for taking forever to give you a response!

Until next time!

--Rosie


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Review #9, by soapman333 Chapter One

25th February 2013:
Wow.

No words. . .

Okay, I have a few, but, really, you made me speechless: This seems to be the most accurate story of Lily's and James' murder.

I'm adding this story to my favorites,
10/10
soapman333

Author's Response: Hahahaha! Thanks for dropping by and doing the swap with me! I'm glad you liked it and that it left you speechless. XD

Also, thanks you for favoring this story. I appreciate it a lot!

--Rosie


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Review #10, by patronus_charm Chapter One

25th February 2013:
Hello there!

I've never really see many James and Lily stories after they have Harry so this was a nice change! I liked how you didn't just gloss over the problems of her and James's marriage, as then it seemed more realistic, and more accurate portrayal of their marriage.

The description of how they were affected by Fabian and Gideon's death was great, as you really evoked emotion in me.

I really liked the scene between Bathilda and Lily, it just had so much raw emotion, and Bathilda seemed so wise, and all the things she said were so true. She's often missing from Marauders story, so it was nice to see her here.

The ending how could you do that to me? I'm actually sitting here in tears, and I just don't know what to say! It was so powerful and raw. I just couldn't see that twist coming! I thought it was all going well, and how nice it was that James and lily had made it up, then you spring that on me!

It was even more horrible and sad reading it here, than in Harry's flashbacks! The way you captured remus and Bathilda's grief was excellent, especially when you combined it with the fact that they may have been saved.

Then there's another twist! Lily was pregnant? That's actually really believable and moving.

Your oneshot has reduced me to a pile of mush and tears :'(

-Kiana (I can't even do a smily face as I'm still crying :'( )

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for dropping by and so sorry that I've taken forever to answer! I'm here though! :D

I'm sure that Lily and James had their problems. I mean even the couple who are so sickly lovie-dovie have their own marriage issues. No one is perfect. Lily, I think would be the one to bottle up her own feelings in order to spare others while James just explodes.

Bathilda is definitely wise but she's also bitter about the whole situation. She wants to fight but can't and because she's not out there she's angry that these young 'children' are dying.

I swear that I didn't mean to make you cry! I'm glad you liked it, though! Even though it reduced you to tears! Next time I write a one-shot, it'll be a happier one. You'll see! :D

Thanks for dropping by and reviewing!

--Rosie


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Review #11, by Courtney Dark Chapter One

23rd February 2013:
Hey there-thanks so much for requesting. I'm super glad I got the chance to read this, as it was absolutely amazing and heartbreaking and...perfect. Just perfect!

The idea of James and Lily being in the middle of a falling out somehow made this one shot so much more realistic and believable-after all, they were in the middle of a war and that would certainly put a strain on a marriage. I loved the fact that you were able to make Lily's emotions shine through so strongly...I really felt her pain and I think the line: 'She hadnít been able to sleep at all for the last few nights; the bed was rather lonely and cold without James there' demonstrated this perfectly.

Your characterization of James was brilliant. I remember reading that he got super frustrated being locked up all the time, and this one shot demonstrated this frustration perfectly. And the fact that he got Lily roses was so sweet...and so sad when you realized what was about to happen next.

I loved Lily's interaction with Bathilda-their conversation really aroused my curiosity and I began to wonder what secret Lily was hiding from James...it was horrible that she wasn't able to tell him in time before their deaths. which I think you wrote beautifully, by the way. The line: 'Lily Potter collapsed. Her green eyes, once full of life, hopes and beautiful dreams, were vacant while an expression full of fright and worry for her son overwhelmed her young, beautiful face' was excellent.

The aftermath of their deaths and the funeral was a nice touch to this story, particularly because of the way you wrote the revelation James never knew: that Lily was pregnant with a second child. This story has really made me think, and now so many possibilities about what could have been are whirring through my head.

This was an amazing one-shot. You should be proud!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Heya! I finally have the time to answer your review! I mean, it's been a month since you reviewed this and I'm now answering. I'm here, though! Finally! :D

To be honest, I didn't intend this to explore Lily and James's marriage. However, as the story started to develop and move along, my own feelings and emotions started to pour out into both James and Lily. It was then I decided to explore their relationship while experiencing 'cabin fever'.

James for me was the easiest to write because I can relate to him in the feeling of being trapped and frustrated. Blowing up at Lily is something I didn't plan on but its realistic in a relationship. Like Dan said, its not like he could've taken his anger out on Harry so Lily was the logical target to his anger.

Bathilda was my favorite to write! She's bitter about what is going on and not being able to help. She's seeing all these young people dying and its affecting her in a different way.

Ah the possibilities of Harry having a sibling. He wouldn't have been so lonely when growing up. Then again, I can't see Petunia handling two magical kids. Haha!

I'm glad you liked it! :D Thank you for dropping by and reviewing!

--Rosie


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Review #12, by Jchrissy Chapter One

21st February 2013:
First of all, I need to say (directed to Dan's review) that I will NOT like you once my tissues are gone! My heart is broken! Broken hearts don't heal quickly!

If I *did* forgive you for breaking my heart, I would tell you that it means so much to me that you dedicated this to me ♥ That was so sweet of you, and gah. You just got me all feelsy from the start.

As soon as I realized Harry was already alive, I figured what the secret would be. I've always wondered something like that. Or wondered if they thought about alternatives when they learned they were pregnant with Harry. They were at such a terrible time in their lives. So much darkness was around them, so much danger and death that I think it's safe to assume that Harry wasn't a planned baby. haha. But this, the idea of Lily not only being protective of Harry, but the new baby that's growing inside her, is SO heart breaking :(.

James dying without ever knowing that they were going to have another baby... honestly, I don't know what's more painful. I almost think it's better he died without knowing. But then he deserved to know and and and why are you doing this to me ;(.

I love the way you portrayed the more stressful time of their lives. It's unrealistic to think that this didn't cause fights. We take out our anger on the people that love us the most, because we know they'll still ALWAYS love us. But that doesn't make it any easier, because Lily's also frustrated and hurting, and doesn't know how to deal with it. Of course it's sad seeing them at odds, but it's realistic. That's what I love the most. When Lily and James are shown as realistic, human people. Not these perfect saints. They got married young. They were in the middle of a war. They had a baby young. That's going to cause so much stress.

This was such a touching and well written piece. It breaks my heart every time I imagine what these two lovers had to have been feeling and thinking those few moments before it ended and and you've brought all those feelings right to the surface and I am NOT going to get over this :(.

Thank you so much for writing this ♥ It was so beautiful, and one day I think I may forgive you for reminding me how terribly sad the end is :(.

Author's Response: Jami!

I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I swear I didn't mean to but alas, that's what JKR wrote. Well, minus the fake rumor of course. When DH came out and it had the grave for Lily and James, I did the math and was extremely sad that they had died when they were only 21.

I have to say, I think too that Harry was an "oopsie" baby. I'm sure Lily was smart enough to realize that having children would be out of the question during a time of war. Then again, perhaps they felt it necessary to start a family just in case the other one died before having chance. I wanted to explore Lily having second thoughts when it comes to the child, even James finding out and suggesting an alternative route but I figured that topic would not only bumped up this to M rating but also not go so very well with the staff. Lily was happy, believe but in times like these...well you know.

I'm sure that James being cooped up in that house was very...aggravating. Specially when Dumbledore took the invisibility cloak making it impossible for him to leave. He understood WHY he had to hide but that doesn't mean that he wasn't selfish. He was young! Of course he would want to be out there, fighting in the war. But that frustration just kept on growing and growing and, like Dan said, he took it out on the only person there that he could: Lily.

I had to add the lines from the movie because she was basically saying goodbye to Harry. She knew she was not going to walk out of that room alive. And the whole idea and her lines are indeed very heartbreaking.

I'm glad you like it! Despite breaking your heart I figured you would enjoy reading this. I'll make it up to you...next time I write a Lily/James fic it'll be a fluffy/romantic comedy. XD

Until next time, Jami!

--Rosie


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Review #13, by Gabriella Hunter Chapter One

20th February 2013:
Hello!

Its Gabbie here with your requested review and thanks so much for stopping by my thread again, I'd been meaning to whine about not reading any of your stories in a while. So, here I am!
I don't read too many stories with Lily and James when they've had Harry. They're depressing and I can't get over James being with someone else, our break up was awful.
Anyway, on to this! I really liked the beginning of this with Lily and your descriptions on what the War had done to she and James. With the loss of friends and the fact that they were hiding away while they were suffering was a really vivid way to begin. Of course, there was the little hint that there was somethihng more going on with Lily and I had my suspicions and was very hopeful that I'd be wrong! D':
James's moodiness and anger were very well-done and Bathilda's appearance and talk with Lily were actually my favorite parts. There's always something nice about hearing an elder give you good advice and Bathilda's own heartache just had me choking up. Its awful not being able to help, knowing that you've had a full life while others are being taken away. Eerie, though, that she gave Lily this talk before they were going to die but I think you've done that on purpose. ;)
I have to say that when Voldemort showed up, ruining the sweet moment between the couple I actually screamed. I wanted a fat unicorn to fly in the house and crush him! But that didn't happen and it just got more intense and frightening for me afterwards. I knew what was going to happen but I didn't have to like it! D':
Oh, James! RIP!
Lily's choice to plead for her son and to fight off Voldemort if she had to always tears me up. I think that was a powerful, lovely scene but that ending!
Argh! Promises broken and kept! I think that's just going to stay with me for a while, I can't quite shake that image of the Potter's in their graves and Bathilda with Remus from my mind.
Perhaps I'll sketch it...?
Anyway, this was great!
Thanks for the read!
Much love,
Gabbie

Author's Response: Hey Gabby!

Thank you for coming by to read this. I've been meaning to drop to request a review for HPo4 but I want to review respond your other reviews first. XD

Stories featuring James and Lily after they have Harry ARE usually depressing but then again...I think their lives are just depressing! I mean...they died when they were barely 21. How tragic is that to begin with? So I totally understand how you don't read them...I'm the same...they always make me cry!

Lily and James are indeed feeling very trapped and useless. They wish they were out there FIGHTING for Harry's future but they know better. Their frustration is there though but they show it in different ways. Lily bottles it up while James takes out his frustration on Lily. Sad, but very indeed true. My own personal experience in resent months bleeds through in this fic. Their feelings of being trapped in one house, feelings useless and whatnot are very real since those emotions are mine so maybe that's why it feels so vivid.

Bathilda was the character that behaved the most. She basically wrote herself as it took me less than 30 mins to do her section. I'm so happy that you liked her views about the war and her inadequacy to the situation.

I have to say...I burst out laughing imagining a fat unicorn flying and crushing Voldemort! The image in my head was fantastic so I have to thank you for that!

Promises are indeed broken and some are kept. I think Bathilda might've told Harry about Lily's secret but then again she might've chosen not to since Harry's had been a bit sucky by this point. I don't think she would've liked putting more sadness into Harry's life.

Remus had to make a cameo in this fic! How can he not considering that he just lost everyone that meant a lot to him.

You should totally sketch that scene! :D

Anyway! Thank you for dropping by to read this!

Until next time

--Rosie


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Review #14, by CambAngst Chapter One

19th February 2013:
Hi!

So to address your first concern, I think Jami will like you just fine once she puts the mop and pail away after cleaning up all the tears. ;)

Oh, Rosie. You did a fantastic job handling the twist at the end. The funny thing is that I suspected that particular secret at the very beginning, but then you made it clear that Harry had already been born and you also mentioned something about Polyjuice potion. Between those two things, it totally put me off of that idea until it all came crashing back at the end. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I think you nailed the things that make James tick perfectly in this. He definitely would have been filled with impotent rage over being trapped inside their house, unable to be part of a war where he had friends putting themselves at great risk and even dying in the case of Fabian and Gideon. As a practical matter, there are only two people he can really direct that rage toward, and since Harry is a baby, Lily draws the short straw. It's sad, but completely realistic. One line in particular stuck out in my mind: "Just before opening the door she looked around hoping to find James but most likely he was outside tending the garden, a hobby he both hated and loved." Anything that can move James Potter to garden must be pretty terrible.

I liked that Lily was actually feeling a lot of the same emotions as James, just with a different twist on the particulars. She also feels trapped, helpless and useless, but the thing keeping her inside the house is Harry and only Harry. Not her own safety, just that of her son. She's a mother, first and foremost and until the end.

I never really considered the fact that Bathilda probably would have known the Potters. Being a neighbor, I suppose it makes sense. I really liked the way you wrote her, and especially her sentiments about the inequity of the long, full life she's lived compared to so many people of the Potters' generation who've had theirs cut tragically short. To me, she was a really good choice for this story.

Voldemort's arrival sent shivers down my spine. I was reading this so fast that I never really considered the possibility that Bathilda's visit came on that night. Lily's emotions felt so genuine and so powerful to me. The lines from the film and the movie that you picked were perfect for the scene.

And the revelation at the end... that was like a knife to the chest. I can't imagine what a sibling would have meant to Harry, knowing the isolation and terrible conditions he endured growing up. Horribly, horribly sad.

I saw a typo here and there, but nothing that can't be easily rectified. The power of the piece wasn't affected in the slightest. You did a magnificent job with this!

Author's Response: Hey Dan! Finally here to give your review a proper response.

Looking at Jami's review I think you were kinda wrong. Hahaha, she'll forgive me, I'm sure. XD Perhaps I should write a mushy Lily/James fic next as forgiveness. Hahaha!

I wanted people to get an idea of what the 'secret' was but at the same time, by mentioning Harry and the Polyjuice potion, I wanted to throw people off. Lily used the potion to sneak into town to see a healer. At least, that's what happened in my head. I left it open for people to imagine what Lily might've done with it.

To be honest, I never intended this fic to touch feelings of being trapped and cooped up. Eventually, the more I got deeper into the story, the more I began to ponder on their situation and how hard it is to be in that spot. When I wrote this, I was a bit like the Potters (minus the whole someone-is-gonna-kill-my-child scenario) and I was going mad in the house. There were days that I didn't see the outside world for just a couple of days so multiplied my feelings of entrapment times ten to give James and Lily that sense of desperation after hiding for over a year. Their anger, despair and feelings are very much mine bleeding into this fic.

Both Lily and James understand that they have to hide for Harry but that doesn't mean that they like it. Like you said, they're watching their friends fight and die and that is making them feel useless during this war. But they know that they have to put their own feelings aside.

Lily is a lot quicker that James though. Like you said, she's a mother from beginning to the end. Her emotions are irrelevant to her as long as Harry is safe. James...he's young and a little selfish but deep down he really understands what is going on.

Bathilda was actually mentioned in DH being one of the only people that visited James and Lily while they were hiding. She would tell them stories about Dumbledore and Grindlewald which Lily didn't think they were true. I had to have Bathilda because she represents the life that Lily and James never got to have and her speech about how she lived her life to the fullest made me sad so I'm glad that you thought that she was a great choice.

The lines from the book/movie had to be added. Specially the ones from the movie because I thought they were beautiful. In a way, she knows very well that she's going to die and is basically saying good-bye to her son.

As you know very well, there are stories that feature Harry's long lost brother/sister but they never feel right. ALMOST giving Harry a brother or sister felt realistic though. I'm the same as you. A sibling would've been such a great companionship to Harry but then again, I wonder if Petunia would've raised both kids or if Dumbledore would've separated them. Keeping Harry safe, and letting a magical family raise the other child since he/she would not have been in danger.

Aaaand.I think this response is longer than the review. So I better stop now.

Thank you so much for coming by and reading this! :D Reading your thoughts made my day! XD

Until next time

--Rosie


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Review #15, by missclaire17 Chapter One

19th February 2013:
aw!
I like it; the whole portrayal of how frustrating it was for James and Lily to be cooped up while the others were fighting was very realistic. as a die-hard Jily fan that hates to see James and Lily have problems pre-dating era, the fact that they have marital problems is very realistic and well done.
It wasn't overly done to a point where it suggested that they had a horrible marriage (because I think I'd metaphorically flip the table xD), but it was there enough to show that war is difficult and there are problems.
The idea of Lily having a second child is intriguing, and I'm glad that you didn't mention how Snape was supposed to be the godfather because I see no possible way how that would EVER be canon/real.

I think you did a good job with this. It can be expanded more, to talk more about James and Lily's life before Halloween and more portrayals of that sort, but otherwise, it was good (:

Author's Response: First of all, thank you for reading and reviewing this! You're the first one for this one-shot so you get a gigantic cookie. XD

When I read the rumor about Lily dying while being pregnant with James's second child and Snape being the Godfather it was one of those "oh my God...that better not be true!" And thankfully, it wasn't. Bu then the 'what ifs' started to pester my mind and I just had to write this one shot. It's slight AU with a touch of true Canon.

I just wanted to explore Lily coming to terms with a second kid but it developed into an exploration of Jily's relationship while being cooped up day after day in the same house without the ability to go out and enjoy life. So that of course would create some strains within the marriage but nothing over the top to the point they thought about divorce. Nothing like that.

I would explore more about their lives before Halloween but I think this one-shot summarizes their thoughts and feelings. The rest I would leave for the readers to imagine and wonder.

Anyway, thank you so much for your review! XD It definitely made my afternoon!

--Rosie


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