Reading Reviews for Fraternizing with the Enemy
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Slygrifflepuffclaw Chapter III

16th May 2013:
yay loving this story plz update soon

Author's Response: Thank you! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon-ish :)

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Review #2, by potterfan310 Chapter III

15th May 2013:
I really like that there's information on her parents and that we've learnt more about them.

An American term caught my eye -
'sneakers and tied' - Trainers

I think her parents reactions were spot on although I really dislike her mother. Her father seemed a little too calm but he might not want to show his disappointment in front of her. I like her dad, he seems like he'll support Ava and stand by her, which I'm glad.

It'll be interesting to see if see tells James when she gets back, I can't wait for his reaction!!

10/10

-Potterfan310
Soph xx

Author's Response: I thought it was time for some background information on Ava, seeing as she's the main character.

Ugh, it really annoys me when I use American terms because I am actually British, but for some reason I call them sneakers(?) I mean those converse-type shoes, but I don't know if I can say "Converse" in case of copyright or something?

Yeah, I was aiming to get people to dislike Eloise :P Her dad is one of those calm, kind people, quite like Remus Lupin, actually, but he wouldn't go off on one in front of Ava like her mother did because he does genuinely love his daughter and she's actually quite a typical daddy's girl.

Ooh, you'll have to wait and see about James! I've not quite got to that bit in the next chapter yet and I'm still trying to formulate if she tells him or not.

OMIGOSH A TEN! Thank you so much! Hopefully it won't take as long to update for the next chapter

Summer x


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Review #3, by RosieWeasly11 Chapter III

15th May 2013:
omg ava's mum is sooo the typical slytherin!! meh wants more chapters!

Author's Response: Haha, ikr! Next chapter should be up soon, I hope! x

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Review #4, by albuslilyjamespotter Chapter II

21st April 2013:
Wow!! Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please post the next chapter!!!

Author's Response: Haha, lol! I've written the next chapter but I want to get these one-shots out of the way >:(

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Review #5, by albuslilyjamespotter Chapter I

21st April 2013:
Wow!! This is awesome and... Different lol in a good way ;)

Author's Response: Yep, deffo a challenge for meh (;

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Review #6, by potterfan310 Chapter II

20th March 2013:
I'm glad most of her friends know.
I really can't wait for her parents. It'll be interesting how they treat Ava, will they disown her?, will they be angry?

I'm really excited for James' reaction since A) He's the daddy and B) From the looks of it, he'll be the last to know at this rate.

Where stop one scene and end another, perhaps add a page break or a few stars ** to idicate a new scene instead of just a big gap.

Perhaps few more descriptions of what the characters look like or where they are.

Can't wait until the next one :)
-Potterfan310
Soph x

Author's Response: Oooh, I'm excited for her parents' reaction too ;D

I don't usually do this, but I was planning to put up a few chapters then go over and edit them - going over things that might not make sense and putting stars or something between paragraphs.

I think I might put in a few descriptions later on ... but I'm not sure. We'll see :)

Thanks for the review!xxx


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Review #7, by RosieWeasly11 Chapter II

18th March 2013:
OMG i want more chapters so engrossed!!! xxx

Author's Response: I've not written the next chapter yet but I'll get to it as soon as I can :) xxx

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Review #8, by Sam Chapter I

11th March 2013:
Love it so far! Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks :) I'm glad you liked it!xxx

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Review #9, by potterfan310 Chapter I

6th March 2013:
I've been meaning to review this for a few days but haven't got around to it until now.

I LOVE reading teen pregnancy and James/OC stories so a big plus for you and I haven't even read it yet.

I really like your OC Ava, she seems like a strong character who won't let anything stop her.

I feel like the end part of the flasback was a little rushed, perhaps explain how/where she got the muggle pregnancy test from because it seems like it just appeared out of thin air.

Pehaps add a page break or a few lines (-) between Dom telling Ava she'll see her in the common room and when Ava is looking at her stomach to imply that time has passed.

"I sighed and sagged" - This didn't make a lot of sense but that could just be me.

Overall I really like this story and your OC Ava. She's slightly insane in a good way as well as being pretty adorable and loveable. I'm excited to see where her and James will go once he finds out she's pregnant.

A really good start!!! Deffinitely adding to my favs :)
-Potterfan310
Soph xx

Author's Response: Aww, thank you sosososo much! This review made my day!

I'm glad you like Ava, I think she'll be really fun to write and I LOVE writing characters like her.

I feel like the flashback was a little rushed too, but I'm going to get a few more chapters up then edit them, just so I can see where this story's going and then go over it with a fine-tooth comb.

There might be some parts that don't make sense - I think I was half-asleep when I wrote some of it, so I'll be going over it and fixing things, as I said.

I'm so glad you liked it! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon x


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Review #10, by yerawizard27 Chapter I

14th February 2013:
This is a great start to your story :) However a day is a little soon to be showing signs of pregnancy! I really love Ava, I think she's adorable. Hope you update soon! :D x

Author's Response: Ahh! Hello :) Thanks for reviewing, because I really like 'Against the Odds'! *is happy* I know a day is a little too soon, so I will change that as soon as I can. I'm glad you like Ava :D Love you x

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Review #11, by RosieWeasly11 Chapter I

11th February 2013:
AMAZING MORE CHAPTERS!! CANT WAIT!! hope ava and the baby turn out to be ok xx

Author's Response: HELLO YOU!! *WINK WINK*
As I've literally just told you, I'm currently writing for Peanut Butter Geli Time, but as soon as that's validated, I promise I'll do this one.
You'll have to wait and see about Ava and the baby ;)
Love you x


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