Reading Reviews for Puddlemere United
  
34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MrsJaydeMalfoy Chapter 1.

2nd January 2014:
It's okay to still be leaving Christmas presents in January, right?? :P

If this first chapter is any indication of how the rest of the story is going to go (and I'm pretty sure it is!), then this is going to be one awesome story!! I really loved this introductory chapter, dear!

I really felt bad for Oliver, but I'm also kind of wondering what secret he's keeping. I know there's the hint of the 'bankruptcy' thing, but I'm not sure whether to believe the Beetle or not! :P

It sounds like the team so far is just truly horrible... but I've got an idea that Oliver will turn everything around, really quick! :) Can't wait to see what he comes up with!

I think the flow and spelling and grammar were wonderful! The only problem I noticed (and this is a formatting thing, not a you thing), was that some of the words were kind of stuck together. For example:

"he leaned around me to see the players still arguing andshook his head,"

I'm sure it's just a formatting glitch, and someone has probably mentioned it to you already, I just wanted to point it out in case you hadn't noticed. :) I didn't find it difficult to understand or anything, just thought you'd like to know! :)

Anyway, this was excellently written and I can't wait to read more! Well done, dear, great Chapter!

Author's Response: There really isn't any need lovely! You've reviewed more than enough! Please don't subject yourself to the torture of reading this.it really is terrible, trust me...

Ah yes, Olivers 'secret' which really isn't a secret at all and, please lovely I'm begging you, don't read this! I'm so happy with all your reviews, and it makes me cringe to think that someone is-eugh, this thing gives me nightmares...

Oh no, that was definitely me. I might come back and patch this thing up one day, but I don't think today is that day. Or tomorrow for that matter.

All the same, thank you for the wonderful review, but really petal, you've gone above and beyond and just, THANK YOU :)


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Review #2, by blackzero Chapter 5.

6th June 2013:
Dont know if you are planning a O/K couple ,but em hopeful for a recon .

Author's Response: You'd never know! I guess you'll just have to keep reading to find out ;)

Thank you for the reviews! You've made my morning!


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Review #3, by blackzero Chapter 2.

6th June 2013:
Ah an entertaining Quidditch. You are really brilliant em on way to my office but couldnot stop reading.

Author's Response: I love Quidditch matches, don't you? Fun to write anyway! Thank you again for the review!

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Review #4, by blackzero Chapter 1.

6th June 2013:
Just started reading your story and found it highly enjoyable . The way yotj have inducted minor characters is outstanding.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, and the compliment!

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Review #5, by Cal585 Chapter 5.

26th May 2013:
Roger Davies! Heh, anyway, so I've come to the end of what is written so far and it's been pretty good! Really enjoying what you've got! Poor Oliver. So frustrating not being able to sort out funding! And poor Pippa as well! What are they going to do? I'm sure all these questions and more will be answered int he next installment ;). Can't wait!

Author's Response: Yes, I went a little 'minor character' mad in this, didn't I? :P

Thank you so much for the lovely reviews on the chapters! You've literally made my day!


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Review #6, by Cal585 Chapter 4.

26th May 2013:
Good old Oliver getting them up at 6am. Surprised there wasn't more complaining but it made it easier to read through. Glad they're all giving it a go! Starting to feel proud of them. Also quite liked that Puddlemere's lack of funds got explained (even if it seems a little confusing to me why they're giving away all their money). I want to see them play again now that Oliver's got a bit of work into them. It's not even about winning, maybe if they can score a goal or save a shot or something? :)

Author's Response: I know, Oliver is just the best, isn't he?

I don't think Oliver would have allowed them go on for much longer, he isn't very tolerant, or patient! And I am so ridiculously proud of them whenever they do something small, I feel like their mother!

Don't worry, the reason their fundin was taken away will be explained in chapters yet to come!

And again, there is an upcoming match in about another three-ish chapters, so don't worry!


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Review #7, by Cal585 Chapter 3.

26th May 2013:
Ooh, Romilda Vane! Liking the little references! I enjoyed finding out a bit more about Kathy. Makes them seem more like people than just players. I hope she finds success! Poor Oliver with a wife like that though... How come he has no choice though? Surely there'd be other things he could do?

Also, just quickly, is it intentional that Ginny is still a Weasley? I thought she might have taken on the name Potter by now. Although it is reasonable that she may have kept Weasley for Quidditch purposes.

Author's Response: Thank you!

I'm trying to give everyone little insights to the kind of person each play is as the chapters go on, so we found out a bit about Kathy in this!

Ah yes, Ginny 'Weasley'. In my head anyway, after Ginny married Harry, she did take his name, but her 'Quidditch name' for want of a better word, remained Weasley, as it was just easier for everyone concerned. And we must remember that Oliver was more than a bit merry, so that must be taken into account as well!


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Review #8, by Cal585 Chapter 2.

26th May 2013:
So got up to the 2nd chapter. What was the final score? I'm morbidly curious as to just how bad it was :P

Poor Oliver, he shouldn't be having to put up with things like this. And poor Puddlemere! They're my favourite team! I look forward to you restoring them to glory ;)

A match between Puddlemere and the Chudley Cannons would be rather entertaining, though it sounds like the Cannons are doing a bit better. I wonder if they'd be better off taking the entirety of the Gryffindor team straight out of school or something?

Haha, anyway, looking forward to seeing the players develop and hearing more about why Oliver has to do this.

Author's Response: Aaah! I'm literally hugging my laptop right now! A review on every chapter, you'r just too good to be true!

And yes, hopefully Puddlemere will be restored to its former glory by the end of it all, but I'm not making any promises :P

A match between Chudley Cannons and Puddlemere is actually on the cards, so stay tuned for that.


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Review #9, by Cal585 Chapter 1.

26th May 2013:
Just stumbled upon this as I'm looking for inspiration for my Quidditch story. Usually I read things quickly and don't do much in the way of reviews so I thought I'd take this slowly and comment on each chapter as I read it.

So I just wanted to say that I think this is a really cool idea for a story! You've definitely managed to grab my interest. The story so far has flowed well and I loved the small references like to The Beetle. It has a lot of promise and I look forward to seeing where you take it!

Author's Response: Glad I could help with the old inspiration ;)

Yes, I couldn't resist adding in a little Rita Skeeter, she's just always intrigued me for unknown reasons!

Thank you so much for the review!


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Review #10, by MissMdsty Chapter 5.

3rd April 2013:
Hello there!

I took on the challenge of reviewing just chapter 5 as you requested! What for other readers may have been old news, for me it came as a shock. The fact that the book keeping was lacking, that Oliver was married to Penelope and wouldn't sign the papers. You've got yourself quite a story here!

I loved the first part, the scene in which Oliver looks over the finances of the team. Something about his attitude made me grin! He's my kind of guy, won't take any nonsense and wants to fix things.

I loved Percy! He was so in character and his ramblings just made me giggle! Oh and Dobby on the statue! *tear* That broke my heart!

This story is very interesting and I liked the ending, when on top of everything else, one of his players got suspended! I loved your writing style, everything seems to fall into place so naturally that it's a joy to read! Keep up the good job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing this chapter! I wasn't sure if you'd want to or not, as starting a few chapters into something can be awkward, so I appreciate this review a lot.

We only found out Oliver was married to Penelope this chapter, so you're not too far behind. And yes, Oliver is going to be as difficult as he can be to poor old Penny, but isn't that what makes it entertaining!

Oliver is definitely a no-nonsense kind of guy, but he's not one to throw in the towel, and he's in this for the long run, or at least until he gets Puddlemere back on its feet.

Percy was such fun to write. I may have to bring him back at a later stage. I just love that oddball so much. . . . and Dobby made a cameo! If he can't be alive darn it, he's going to be immortalized in statue form!

Thank you so much for the lovely review!


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Review #11, by Courtney Dark Chapter 5.

31st March 2013:
Hey there!

Okay, so this was definitely another filler chapter but I enjoyed it nevertheless - short and sweet!

There were many elements to this chapter that I enjoyed. I think the thing I like most about this story is how much of a disaster being manager of Puddlemere United is turning out to be, and how Oliver's life really just keeps going downhill. I think we saw a lot of this downhillness in this chapter!

I really enjoyed Oliver's interactions with all the people he talked to in the Ministry, especially Penny and Percy. Actually, especially Percy, because he's always been one of my favourite characters, and you made him perfectly pompous and boring! I loved how when Oliver talked about the Tornadoes, Percy instantly assumed he was talking about the weather. That was a nice touch.

This bit: “Thursday-,” she began.

“Brilliant,” I clapped my hands together

“- the twenty sixth of March,” she finished' was also very nicely done, and made me laugh. Things really aren't going very well for Oliver, are they? And to top it all off, he gets back from the Ministry and finds out that Pippa has been suspended from playing Quidditch! What next?

This was a fun chapter! I'm sorry that this review wasn't particularly helpful!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hello!

I know, I'm dreadful for writing filler chapters, to be honest I'm worried this is going to turn into one gigantic filler!

Olivers life really is falling asunder isn't it? And I think for now Oliver is on on continuous downward spiral, but who knows, things might get better (then worse, then better again, then completely rubbish, mildly better and so on!)

I loved Percy, he was so fun to write! Completely awkward, rather pompous and always boring, and I just had to include his little speech about tornadoes, only Percy would take that literally!

I love that receptionist, you know, she may just make another appearance. I get way to attached to characters, but ah well!

Yes, Pippa was suspended, poor girl, and I guess poor Oliver as well!

Thank you so much for the review! I really do enjoy them :D


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Review #12, by my_voice_rising Chapter 4.

18th March 2013:
YAY AN UPDATE! Thanks for requesting a review. I've been so busy lately, there's no telling how long it would have taken me to notice a new chapter!

Ah Pippa, I love her so much. He knew she'd be late, so he told her that practise was an hour earlier than it was. To funny! Also, I dunno if you noticed, but I totally nominated Pippa for "Best Original Character (Female)" for the Keckers ;D

Gaaahahaha. No lights. Oh my gosh, between that, the splinter death-trap, and the way they've clearly never seen a blackboard, this just gets better and better.

Oh my god, I'm actually laughing out loud. "Elbow him in the face." "No." "Punch him in the face."

Ahhh, a twist ending. Wow, for somebody who didn't know where their own chapter was going, you wrote this so well! It may be my favorite chapter yet, actually. Ritchie is just so likeable. He's kind of like Mundungus Fletcher, in a way, but he's just a pleasant guy so it's hard not to like him.

Well done! Can't wait for chapter five!

Author's Response: Yaay! A review! You have no idea how much I love your reviews!

Yes, Oliver may be new, but he is well up on the way Pippa functions :P

And don't worry, I noticed. I'm just going to be all cool and casual about it.

THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE THE BEST! :D HUGS! FREE CAKE! MORE HUGS!

Ahem. . . like I said, cool and casual.

You also may have noticed that I nominated Seamus for 'Best Minor Character' and Edie for 'Best Original Female', how could I not?

Yes, they really don't have a clue do they. And I love that splinter death-trap, it just works so well with the on-going theme of 'abandoned-but-not stadium'

Pippa really needs to work on her seeker techniques, because I don't think shes going to get away with punching and elbowing people in the face for much longer. . .hee hee. . .mysterious. . . .

Yes, a twist at the end! I feel so bad for writing Harry as the bad guy, it goes against everything I believe in! But it had to be done, I keep telling myself that.

I love Ritchie, I really do! He tries so hard. . .

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE WONDERFUL REVIEW AND THE NOMINATION! :D





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Review #13, by DancingMooncalf Chapter 4.

17th March 2013:
Ooow a twist in the plot... I like that. I think we're going to see some of Oliver's temper! I don't think he's going to take this without a fight. How dare they steal from Puddlemore :)

This can turn into a very exciting battle against the Tornadoes, I'm curious how that going to go...

I hope the team will get better, they should show what they're worth. Since they're not worth very much at the moment.

Good luck!
Maya

Author's Response: Well hello there :P

Yes, major plot twist! And Oliver's temper will definitely be making an appearance, snarky Oliver is going to come out to play! And yes, he will get his screaming match, but maybe not with the person you'd expect (hee hee, mysterious spoiler!)

Yes, its going to be a battle, moreso for Puddlemere to prove themselves, and they will be showing what they are worth, honest!

Thank you so much for the review :D


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Review #14, by Mireya Chapter 2.

10th March 2013:
So far I really like this story (:

Author's Response: I glad! :)
Thank you for the review!


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Review #15, by soapman333 Chapter 2.

8th March 2013:
So, it's literally raining here. I was walking down main street and my face was attacked by little drops of water! Gah, I hate the rain.

Now that I got "ranting about the weather" out of the way:

Man, this chapter is way exciting. I knew that they probably weren't going to win, but having Pip elbow that kid in the face was priceless.

I've got a soft spot for all of these characters. Although, Ritchie is still my favorite.

In regards to hating...I don't hate any of your characters! They're all just a riot.

Seamus is in this chapter?? Hi Seamus! Remember when you blew off your eyebrows? I do! I nearly got my eyebrows shaved, but you grew them back, so I'm good :D.

Ole' Ollie is awesome. He's in my top three favs, but I feel as though there's some chemistry developing between him and Pip. Maybe Kathy? I'm just throwing theories out into the atmosphere, hoping one of them is right.

Oh, so they're not going to get paid for a few weeks. That'll be harsh on Woody :/ it's okay, Ollie! I hear the streets aren't that rough, you just have to learn how to rummage through rubbish bins :D

Great update, it's getting more and more intense!
Jack

Author's Response: I hate the rain as well! Its just after stopping here, but still. . . . . grr. . . . .

I don't think anyone expected them to win really, but I had to let Pip injure somebody, and I'm afraid the other poor seeker fit the bill . . . . . ah well!

Ritchie is just a sweetheart, you can't not like him!

I'm glad you like all the characters, as there are a lot of them , and none are really very canon! So this is good to know :)

Hmm. . . . Pip and Oliver? Kathy and Oliver? Who knows where this is going to go (seriously, even I don't!)

Thank you for the review :D


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Review #16, by patronus_charm Chapter 4.

8th March 2013:
Hello there! I’m here with your review!

I loved the beginning of this chapter. It made me smile to see how dedicated to his job Oliver is, and the fact that he still had his old quidditch model made me laugh. I can just imagine him playing with it, when he got bored.

I liked the banter between Wood, and the team before they started training. It, again, reminded me of his old practises, and I did feel really sorry for the team as I know how horrible it is, to be woken that early. That banter also allowed us to get to know the rest of the team better, as at the moment we only really knew a few of them, so this was a great thing to do.

There not the type of people you would expect to find on a quidditch team with their drinking, smoking and fighting, but I think that’s what makes them all so special, as it is really endearing when they do try, as it’s so unexpected, you can’t help but feel insanely proud for them.

Haha I loved the ending! I can understand that it must hurt Oliver, that James Potter was the cause of all of his troubles, as his dad used to be on the same team as him, now his son is preventing his team from getting any better. It does explain the worn down state of the stadium, and it all fitted in well. I’m still hoping for them to play a match against the Chudley Canons, just to see how bad it would be!

The only CC I would give, is that the majority of this chapter was dialogue. Though that was really good, as you write it well, and it was funny, it doesn’t leave much room for description, so perhaps if you included more in the next chapter, so we get a better sense of the surroundings :)

It was another great chapter though, and made me laugh all the way through!

-Kiana!

Author's Response: Yes, Oliver is rather dedicated! I think, even though the team really are 'no-hopers', he still can't help but believe in them, even just a small bit!

Being woken up early is one of the worst things, ever. I'm trying to give everyone a voice, so we get to know everyone instead of just zoning in on a few characters and having the rest pop in and out when needed!

They aren't exactly the model athletes, but you're right, when they try, you just feel so proud! I'm worse than an over-enthusiastic mother on the sidelines screeched 'Go get 'em!'

Yes, that really did hurt Oliver, and I'm pretty sure he won't be able to keep that anger in for too long. . . .

And a match against the Chudley Cannons. . . . interesting. . . .I'll se what I can do!

Yes, description is one of my weaker points. . . .I promise to add in more next time!

Thank you for the review :D


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Review #17, by Courtney Dark Chapter 4.

7th March 2013:
Oooh, I liked it! And that twist at the end was very nice. I'm quite glad that James Potter is in a different Quidditch team and that Puddlemere United has a cast of original characters rather than canon one, because it gives you a lot more room to explore. However, I am looking forward to seeing what Oliver does about this new situation. I'm hoping for some drama, personally. I'm also wondering whether Harry and/or James will be introduced to this story...I'm not so secretly hoping so!

Aw, it was so like the Oliver I remember, getting the team up at six in the morning...and I love the fact that he woke Pippa up even earlier, just to ensure she'd be there on time. I am loving Pippa more and more, by the way. And the part about Oliver's old Quidditch pitch model brought a huge goofy grin to my face. It's details like that which makes me want to go and re-read the Harry Potter books all over again.

I don't really have any CC's for this chapter, to tell you the truth. Perhaps a little more description and imagery would be nice, especially between the dialogue but that's just me nitpicking.

Great chapter!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Yes, my poor original characters have been subject to much abuse, or as you put it 'exploring', because I really didn't want to make this about one of the Weasley/Potters children, but something a bit, well I suppose different! Don't worry though, Harry and James will be making an appearance at some stage (the former maybe sooner than later!)

There will be drama, and plenty of loyalty, don't you worry!

I love Pippa too! I think she is so fun to write because she is just so zany and scatty, and to be honest, even I haven't figured out who she is yet! So that should be fun to work out!

I always loved Oliver and his slightly manical way of doing things, so your not alone amongst the Wood lovers :)

Ahh yes, the description. That really is my downfall, and something I seriously need to work on!

Thank you for the wonderful review :D


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Review #18, by DancingMooncalf Chapter 3.

4th March 2013:
Haha, I'm starting to really enjoy this story.
The first chapter I did not really know where it was going but it is getting clearer and the fact that the plot isn't all over it really makes it better. It makes me wonder what will come next, the suspence is really nice.

You've got me hooked on it so keep on writing!!

x Maya

Author's Response: Oh, believe me the direction of this story is going to get a whole lot foggier (lets face it, I have no clue where I'm going with this!)

Thank you for such a nice review!


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Review #19, by soapman333 Chapter 1.

28th February 2013:
Hello there! I like the idea behind this story a lot :D I don't read enough about quidditch on here, so this was very intriguing to me.

The descriptions of setting was just brilliant. I could image the old stadium in all of it's anti-grandness.

The character introduction was great. You introduced just enough to let me know who your characters are, but not enough for me to guess their whole story within the first chapter. All of this being said, my favourite character is Ritchie :) There's just something about short, balding men that makes me giggle like a teenage girl.

My favourite part of this story (that made me laugh really hard):

"Hello, my name is Oliver Wood, I am your new manager," I finished with flair, deciding to strike the pose that Dumbledore had favoured when welcoming students to Hogwarts (epic visual imagery here). Arms spread wide, as if I was about to hug someone, and a big smile plastered across my face. They all just gawped at me, not blinking. I dropped my hands, but kept my smile intact.

Okay, so other things I like about your writing style:
1-The air of mystery you have throughout the plot. I mentioned this earlier, but Oliver doesn't give his whole background story. This is unique! We have to figure it out like the rest of the team, and I just love that.

2-Narration was very smooth, keeping the flow of the chapter to a good pace.

3-Your humour is subtle and does not rely on dialogue :D

Awesome! I really enjoy this story! I don't have any writing style criticism, but I did notice some minor grammar problems. You had quite a few run-on, or fused, sentences. This is better than the fragmented sentences that I normally read on here. I wouldn't worry too much about it, because it doesn't take away from the awesomeness that is this story.

Bravo!
soapman333

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing this!

Yes, the stadium is rather. . .er. . basic to say the least. And I'm glad you liked the introductions of all the characters, as I didn't want it to end up like 'This is Mary, she is 5'5 ,has blue eyes, blonde hair, enjoys soup'

And Ritchie, I secretly think he's one of my favourites too :)

Ah yes, Dumbledores signature pose! I had to include it, I always loved it when he did it in the books so I was just like 'Intro! We are using it!' my plot bunny tried to stop me, but I didn't listen. . .poor Mario. . .

I'm glad you thought the plot flowed well, as this was a concern of mine!

And I'm glad you thought it was funny, this is good, very good :)

Back at you, bravo on your review :D
Siriusly89


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Review #20, by academica Chapter 1.

26th February 2013:
Hi! Thanks for the swap :)

This was a really cute start to the story. I really liked how Oliver didn't say too much during the first part of the chapter, because it really emphasized the description of the players talking circles around him. It was funny to imagine him just standing there and trying to be patient. I also really like how I've started to get to know each of your players without being hit over the head with, okay, this is this person, and here's everything about them, and this is the next person, and here's everything about them... you know? That's good.

In fact, the only thing I felt like was missing was more of a sense of Oliver's characterization. I would have liked to know more about the circumstances he was coming from and what his life outside of his work was like. But I'm sure that's coming in the next chapter or two.

Nice start :)

-Amanda

Author's Response: Awh! Thank you so much :D

Ohh thank goodness! Because that is the biggest danger with multi-character stories, especially when you're introducing so many at the one time! I didn't want it to be a thing of 'This is Mary she is twenty she is blonde', so I'm glad it turned out okay!

And yes, I was purposely vague withh the whole 'what is Oliver doing teaching these ruffians' thing, as it is to be revealed at a later stage!

Thank you so much for the review :D


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Review #21, by my_voice_rising Chapter 3.

23rd February 2013:
YES I WILL READ THIS STORY. Hello, I am here with your very late requested review. My apologies, real life has been too prevalent lately :c But I am here at last, and can't wait to read this new chapter because I siriusly love this story.

Baaahahaha, I love Pippa's analysis of Ginny. Too happy-clappy for marrying her first crush. That always was something that I found horribly unbelievable, that these people never grew apart after being in love since the age of 12 or whatever. And Wood's response to the best Quidditch team was hilarious.

Gahahahaha. Have I mentioned how much I love your Finnegan family? Seamus hiding the bottle behind his back and holding Pippa off with one hand--I imagine it to be over her face--is too funny!

The scene at the pub with Oliver and Kathy was really sweet. I really like all of your characters, but she really resonates in this chapter. The bit where she was worried about getting old was so earnest and I feel like she wasn't even trying to get Oliver to tell her she looks young (even though I do sense a bit of a budding romance there?)

And how sad that Oliver is divorcing his wife. Plot twist! Or at least to me; I don't think you've already mentioned that bit.

Gah! The barmaid was Romilda Vane?! You know how I love the insertion of minor characters. Really nice touch; I can totally see her sauntering around like you said. And she sure is good at potions brewing... like love potions. Really funny that you tied that all in!

And the mustache!

Ah!

I don't care if this chapter was "filler," like you said, it was so good! And fluffy! And we got to know more about Wood and his teammates. I think it was a brilliant job, you really have a knack for writing humor.

♥!

Author's Response: Your reviews are always worth the wait! Which reminds me, I am running rather behind on my requested review front as well. . . . .oh dear. . . .

I actually am one of those people that like Ginny, but Pippa is rather different to me so I put that in! I think Pippa has a very clear view of the world, and she's not drawn in by fairy tales and happily-ever-afters!

I love Seamus, so much :D Really I do, possibly a bit too much but anyway!

Yes, Kathy and Oliver's moment was rather cute! As this story is slightly, err. . . . . writing itself, I don't know as of yet if there will be romance between these two, but I do like them together.

I know, poor old Oliver is getting divorced! I plan on introducing everyone to his ex-wife in the coming chapters, but who knows where she'll make an appearance :P

Yes! The barmaid was Romilda Vane! I sort of wanted to give an explanation as to the reason Pippa is the way she is (complete raving lunatic do you know :P) and Romilda just seemed like the perfect fit!

Aah! I'm so glad you noticed the 'good with potions' bit!

I have an unhealthy obsession with mustaches, so naturally Oliver had to get one (even if its only temporary!)

Thank you so uch for another fantabulous review, they really do make my day :D


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Review #22, by Jimmbo Chapter 2.

18th February 2013:
Nice chapter, loved your description of the fight between the seekers!

Author's Response: Yes, that Pippa has some anger issues, but I love her despite this! Thank you for the review!

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Review #23, by Jimmbo Chapter 1.

18th February 2013:
Just came across this story and it seems really interesting, full of promise!

Author's Response: Awh! Thank you so much! :D

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Review #24, by Cassius Alcinder Chapter 1.

15th February 2013:
Review tag!

As a huge sports fan, I'm really enjoying this so far. The descriptions of the characters, who seem to be quite the band of misfits, and the conditions of the club set the tone that they are they classic underdogs who nobody expects much of; the type of characters that are the protagonists of most sports movies.

It was very interesting to see Oliver at this stage in his life and how he seems to be finding a new outlet for his competitive spirit. It reminded me of an article I was reading recently about Michael Jordan and how it's hard for him to deal with getting old when he still has the same drive, but his body has slowed down. I'm sure its a similar case for somebody like Oliver, and he'll be just as driven as a manager as he was a as a player. I'd be interested to see a little more of his intervening backstory such as his investments and how he got into coaching, but maybe that will be discovered throughout the rest of the story.

This was a very interesting opening, and needless to say I'd like to keep reading.

Author's Response: Hi there!

I am glad your enjoying this! I am in no way, shape or form a sporty person, so I feel a bit out of my depth, but thank you for that, I'm glad to hear I'm on the right track

Olivers past will be revealed in later chapters, as will how he came back to coaching! Oliver is definitely still as competitive as ever!

Please do keep reading! :)

Thank you so much for such a nice review!!


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Review #25, by Courtney Dark Chapter 3.

12th February 2013:
Hey there! Thanks for re-requesting!

I have to admit, I didn't actually realize Oliver was so...old! As silly as it seems, I find it odd to think of the Harry Potter canon characters growing up and growing old, but it's awesome to find out what the characters have done with their lives. For example, I loved the way that you gave us a little insight into Oliver's backstory in this chapter, and why he returned to Puddlemere. And Seamus is just awesome! Full stop.

I really love you characterization of each and every character. Pippa particularly stands out. I love the way you described her outfit as: 'She looked like the lovechild of a flamingo and a disco ball.' I am now intrigued to find out more about each character and what they bring to the story.

Aw, I love how Oliver still reflects on his time at Hogwarts and how he reckons his Quidditch team was the best! I just re-read the books and realized how much I loved Oliver in them and how much humour he brought to the story, which makes it even more fun reading this!

I loved the line: '“That one? No! Too happy-clappy for my liking. I mean, she married her first crush, the woman’s practically a walking romance novel." I actually chuckled a bit while reading it. There are a lot of Ginny haters out there. I personally really like her in the books, but it was a great line, nevertheless.

This chapter definitely was a little fillery, but there's nothing wrong with that. However, for future reference, just be sure to have a good balance between dialogue and descriptions, etc.

Very nice third chapter!
Courtney:)

Author's Response: Thank you for re-reviewing :P

Yeah, Oliver is quite old in this! I sort of have the same problem as you! The epilogue was quite weird for me! I was a bit like 'hang on, your not supposed to have kids!' I'm glad you liked Oliver's backstory, as we will be finding out more as the whole thing progresses.

I know, I love Seamus too! And Pippa, oh that crazy child and her fashion choices. . .we will be finding out more about every character as they go on, but to be honest they are kind of developing their own personality as it goes on, so even I don't know how they'll turn out in the end!

I actually love Ginny, but Pippa seems to be like a very realistic girl, who might be silly and a immature, but has a very clear vision of the world, and so I added in that line :D

Thank you so much for such a nice review :D


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