I feel bad that you didn't get any reviews yet so I'm gonna review. Forgive me if I'm critical...it's what I do. Your grammar is pretty good but it seems a bit to formal and maybe a bit-trying-hard-to-sound-British. Like, in the previous chapter, it seems a bit weird that James and Al would call Ginny as 'mother', considering Ginny always referred to Molly as 'mum', but I guess that's just me. I mean, I always thought purebloods and Slytherins (not meaning to be discriminating) do that whole 'mother-father' high and mighty thing...like Scorpius does in his letter.
AND HOW DOES A BELLATRIX LESTRANGE COME BACK TO LIFE AND GET SORTED INTO HUFFLEPUFF? That's pretty weird.
So you've written about three chapters, and there is still no clear plotline that your summary hints at. This seems more suited to be a general next-gen fanfic, dealing with their lives and what-not.
So overall, as of now, story doesnt show much potential.
Oh, Lakhtakia is a pretty cool last name; I'll give you that? Where'd you think of it?Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! First up, about the mother thing, it is something they do to annoy Ginny, I planned on explaining it later. I'll try to go a little less formal, if its seems odd.
Bellatrix will be explained soon, and the actual plot will begin.
Lakhtakia happens to be the actual last name of someone, very rare, very unique.
This someone may also be the author of this story. Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection