Again, I am blown away by your writing. I love the way you told this story in photographs - it gives a kind of disjointed feel which naturally complements Dennis's emotions after his brother's death. I really enjoyed seeing something from Dennis's POV as well, considering how overlooked he is generally.
I love your attention to details and your descriptions. They are so vivid and it makes it so the whole story seems like a photograph. Wonderful job on this story! 10/10 Report Review
This story was INCREDIBLE! I absolutely loved everything about. It was so touching and heartbreaking. Dennis is such a minor character in the books and in fanfiction in genral, so it was really nice to get to read something from his POV. I think that you've portrayed his loss and his grief in such a beautiful way, and letting photography be the theme of the whole story makes perfect sense, and it works really well! Your description said that both of the Creevey brothers had an eye for details - well, so do you! Your descriptions are incredible and very vivid, and they really add a lot to the story!
All in all, this was very sad, very beautiful and very touching. I loved the ending, when he looks at this happy moment and sees Colin in the photo, even if he's just in the background. It's absolutely perfect. I loved this! Well done! :)Author's Response: Hello!
Aww, I'm glad you liked this story so much :) Those are some really lovely compliments you dished out to me and I'm eating them up greedily and I think my ego is being overfed to obesity. Er...right, sorry. Anyway, I really enjoyed writing Dennis in this story, his painful meandering voice going round and round the memories, unearthing those photos of Colin, recapturing the tiniest and most useless of details. Which despite their insignificance, do actually mean a lot to him.
Eep, I'm really flattered to hear you say that I have an eye for detail ^.^ I'm glad you didn't find all that too overwhelming - these little sorts of things are quite important to Dennis but I was also a little worried that they might clog up the story too much...
Thanks for this lovely review! It's made me nice and happy :D
-teh Report Review
Hello! I'm Shelby (aka WeasleyTwins). I'm getting back into the groove of reading and reviewing here at HPFF (I'm an older member who lurks in the shadows) - anyway, I kept seeing your name pop up here and there, so I thought I'd drop by and read and review one of your stories.
Oh. My. Holy. Harry. Potter.
I have to be honest when I say that I did NOT expect that. Who are you and where in the world do you get your talent? I was utterly astounded. I'm an avid reader in and outside of HPFF and thus rather picky. I like to read something worthwhile. Something with feeling or adventure, something that hits me. And oh my word, did you just send me into a spiral of emotions. I don't know whether to be awe-struck, jealous, depressed, or hopeful. I envy your abilities. How long have you been writing? Now that I'm done fangirling and acting a fool -
Your descriptions are to die for. I'd consider myself a critic of descriptions, in particular, in any story. I don't want to read an excess of nature and feelings and actions, I want cohesion, something that strikes me to the very marrow of my bones. By goodness, that's exactly what you've done - my English major sensibilities are all dancing around doing the mambo. Your descriptions are literally perfect - it isn't purple prose in the style of the Victorians nor is it the sparse, bland descriptions of many stories of the 21st century. Rather, it's these snapshots that you bring to life with your style and diction. There is no other way to describe it as other than striking - like a spear to the heart and in the moments before it reaches your chest, you see everything and feel everything with such clarity. I enjoyed the mixture of scenic and action descriptions coupled with the emotions related to the events of the moment. It was enthralling and I was utterly entranced.
I did notice one mistake - you seem to keep with canon, at least, that's the way it appears - however, when you first mention Doris, you describe her as "Muggle" which the boys wouldn't know about until Colin goes to Hogwarts. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I just thought I'd point that out! :)
I've read several oneshots about Colin, but never something quite this loving - you portray him so well and his characterization is so wonderful. It took everything I had not to cry. He's not this obsessed little boy, but an inquisition young man with a passion for capturing a moment that sometimes only a photograph can do. I applaud you for taking an alternate route than that of tradition Colin fanfics and giving him so life and purpose. Seeing Colin through Dennis's eyes is wonderful, just astounding. We only truly understand the magic of a friendship and relationship when that person is dead.
I also thoroughly enjoyed the beginning "and you can write the book" - the metaphor and theme is prevalent throughout the entire oneshot. Dennis is writing the book, not that of Harry, but of Colin, of a boy whose memory lies in the hundreds of photographs. Speaking of photographs, I thought that your description about them were amazing - Dennis spoke to the audience as if we could see the photographs, sitting in his living room as he reminiscences about his brother. That particular technique is ingenious and effective - it is the icing on the cake.
I'm not quite sure what else I can say. Usually I go on and on, but I'm so astounded by the talent you exhibit and the story itself. I'm so glad that I decided to stop by. I've found myself another story to add to my favorites (and an author to add to my favorites list!).
ShelbyAuthor's Response: So. I'm going to do my best to restrain myself and /not/ come off as a complete idiot A;OIUGHJASN;JDJ
HAI SHELBY ♥ I'm teh ^.^ I didn't know my name was popping up that often! But I'm a newer HPFF member, having joined the site last October. That's when I began writing fanfic seriously, I suppose.
And GAH this fabulous review. OK, where to begin. Aaaahhh I kinda secretly love it when someone compliments me on my description, because that does take some time to write and to think through. I understand what you mean when you said you don't like reading something about an "excess of nature and feelings and actions". It can quickly become purple prose and a little bit tedious if not done well. So I do try to make the descriptive bits in my stories as precise and as detailed as possible, and more importantly, relevant to the characterisation. But all that being said, this little fic of mine is not particularly well known for its descriptiveness, so I am a little surprised but grateful that you liked the descriptions!
Ooh, about mentioning Doris as a "Muggle" - you're quite right in thinking that the boys wouldn't be familiar with the word during that time. However, the entire story, is being narrated by Dennis, who's actually in a post-Hogwarts moment. So he's sort of looking back at the past and narrating bit by bit from the present. Which is why he tells some things but doesn't explain the rest. There actually is a sort of time frame in this piece :D Umm, apologies if that sounded a bit convoluted; it certainly is a lot easier writing it than explaining :P
Gaaah, I just loved how you described this story as "loving". My ego is honestly a hot air balloon right now and somebody needs to put a pin through me and bring me back to earth. But yes, Dennis ♥ The Creevey brothers are not characters I particularly cared about during the books, but they are the sort of people I like to write - a bit odd, a bit embarrassing and a bit silly at times. But I really did feel for Dennis when I began writing this. His voice was very clear in my head, and out of all the fics on my author page, this was one of the easiest to write; I didn't even plan it much.
Ahahaha, I'm not the first person to use this technique of speaking to the audience, and in fact, this story was greatly influenced by an OF short story I read a few years ago, as mentioned in the disclaimer :) That being said, I hope that I did put a bit of my own spin to it :D
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS FAWESOME FEXCELLENT SHMAZING REVIEW. And for favouriting alkjhp;fiaush. ♥ ♥
-teh Report Review
REVIEW TAG! I'm so sorry for the wait to get this review! I had a client walk in right when I was starting my review. ugh.
I've been wanting to read more of your stuff for a while now, so review tag was a perfect reminder. And oh boy am I glad I chose this. This was such a heartbreaking but real one shot. There are things that will always make me sad no matter what. Like the Marauders death, Fred's death. but Colin's isn't one of them. I think it's incredibly sad and everything, but he's not one of those character I just instantly feel sad about reading a death story of theirs. So the fact that you broke me to pieces with this one shot means so much more.
I didn't get sad because his death makes me sad, it really doesn't do much other than make me go, awww... but I got sad because of how well you crafted this story. It's a perfect example of what a one-shot should be, and just tugs at every emotion I have. The way you told the story through other stories... through each photograph, was just outstanding.
Then on top of that, your ability to describe the photographs without feeling like you're describing them is just amazing. Focusing on things like the placement of his father in the pictures is just so creative.
I like that Doris came back! Dennis didn't know exactly why he wanted to go back to see the woman, he just wanted to and it felt like something he needed. But everything else around that section, his parents just deteriorating, his mother's inability to be around any of them... it was all just so painful.
You have a really amazing writing style, m'dear. This piece was awesome, and I'm so happy I read it.
JamiAuthor's Response: Jami ♥
Aww, thanks for this too amazing review! And don't worry about the wait!
I know what you mean about Colin's death in the books. The Marauders and Fred...well those were well-loved characters, characters that JKR had gone into some detail to develop and then to have their lives cut short like that was just terribly tragic :( But Colin...Colin wasn't as well-developed. He was always this annoying kid and when he died I only felt a small twinge at how young he was but I didn't get too teary like I did over the others. At least not until I started writing this story through Dennis' POV :)
Ah, can't say how much it means to me that you loved the style :D I'm glad it works!
Thanks so much again for this absolutely lovely review, Jami!
-teh Report Review
Hi Teh! living.free / Leslie here for the review exchange. I really enjoyed this and thought you captured the true extent of what it feels like being on the outside looking in while snapping pictures of what's happening before your eyes. A photographer really is the watcher, watching all these participants doing these things without actually participating in what they're doing himself.
Also, despite how little we know of Dennis, I though you provided just enough characterisation for us to really see what his character is like and how he felt about his brother. We already knew that Colin and Dennis were close based on the fact that they always seemed to spend their free time while at Hogwarts together so the fact that you wrote their relationship really shows that closeness that they had for one another. I also liked how you showed Dennis feeling isolated from everyone after Colin's death and you really did a great job showing his isolation with his recalling how he had felt taking that photo of the fireworks with his brother just barely in the shot, as if he was disconnected from everything and everyone else around him.
The only critique I have is from a sentence that was awkwardly worded: '...whenever anyone entered the room she was in she would throw up her arms...'. You don't need 'she was in,' so instead it would flow better as '...whenever anyone entered the room she would throw up her arms...'. Aside from that I didn't notice any other awkward sentences so I guess that just slipped by when you were editing. Anyway, excellent chapter, Teh, I really did enjoy it and will have to read more of your stories when I have more free time. (: 10/10Author's Response: Hello there Leslie!
Thanks for your lovely review :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it; I'm quite happy with this little story myself. The Creevey brothers certainly are a sad story; they were such an odd, quirky and not exactly popular pair at Hogwarts. I'd even say that most people found them (especially Colin) pretty annoying :P
So for this fic I felt like giving both of them lives of their own, lives beyond their oddness, their silliness and everything. I don't know a whole lot about photography, but yes, I wanted there to be plenty of snapshots to capture the detail of life, to flesh out their missing lives a little bit more.
Thanks for pointing out that sentence! It certainly is clunky and I'll be fixing that :) Thank you once again for your review!
-teh Report Review
I’ve never read any Colin centered stories which seems a little odd, considering I have soft spot for him, so I was glad that I could read this story :)
I thought that you captured Collin’s delight with the camera, excellently! The way he observed every piece of it, and saw it a much finer detail than everyone else, showed that he was a true photographer, and loved his art.
I was just wondering whether in this story Colin’s Irish? As only the Irish tend to say Mam, and the rest say Mum. It’s not a criticism, just me wondering really, as in my head Collin was English.
I really loved how Colin wanted to capture everything, not just the perfect moments. I guess it showed that he knew life wasn’t perfect, and that there were always blemishes in it. This is sort of reflected in his death really, as it was cruel that he was taken at such a young age, but nothing’s perfect.
You have a knack for including little details, which make the story so much more special. I think it was most effective when Dennis was talking about how he could only remember snapshots. I think it was the fact that you included those details into his snap shot memories, made it somehow more poignant, and memorable. It shows that while you think you’re focusing on the bigger picture, it’s the little things which stick in your mind.
The way you dealt with Collin’s death brought tears to my eyes. Dennis seemed to be so blunt about it, and just the way he told Doris he was dead, and no further explanation. I thought it was great though, as it linked into the idea of Collin being a photographer, and his life ended as quickly, as photo is taken. The imagery you used to described his body, was so vivid, it will probably be stuck in my head all day, and make me cry!
I thought this was an amazing one-shot. It seemed to present so many new perspectives you never really think about. It also provoked so many emotions, I felt like I was on a rollercoaster throughout. I thought the choice of how to end it was great, as it was a relatively sorrowful one-shot, but you choose to end it when Collin was pure happiness. I thought it was good idea to do, as it showed that life isn’t just trials and tribulations, but happier moments to! A definite 10/10!
-Kiana :DAuthor's Response: Hiya Kiana!
Goodness, thanks for such a detailed review :D Aww...you've given me so so many compliments. I'm a little lost for words here!
I'm so glad that you liked this story, that the details worked for you. There wasn't much of a plot; it's more of a snapshot...a moment in Dennis's life when he's looking at a bunch of old photos, and the story sort of moves through vertical time, er...sort of going deeper into the moment rather than forward...I know I'm probably not making sense here but it's 2am and bah! I'm getting incoherent.
I didn't want to use too much figurative language for the moment describing Colin's death - it's just supposed to be blunt and somewhat flat. And judging by your reaction and your comments, I think it might've sort of worked :)
Baha! I researched about the 'Mam' thing before I started writing...I know Seamus says "mam" but I didn't know anything about Colin. Somehow Google told me that Mam is used by people living in the north of the UK. So i just sort of thought, cool! The Creeveys are northerners! Well, you're probably right that they're actually English! I have never been to the UK or to Europe before :)
Anyway, thanks so much once again for this lovely review! It's completely made my night and I'm so glad you liked the story!
-teh Report Review
Wow, this was amazing! Your descriptions were so intense and brilliant, they totally captivated me throughout. And OMG Colin and Dennis!! I just want to hug the two of them! You wrote this so well, really, I cant be coherent while writing this review! The ending is just so amazing and powerful too!! Merlin, this was just beautiful! I enjoyed this a lot and I have so many feels right now! asdfghjkl;
Anyway, being a little coherent, I just wanted to say, I really loved this story. You wrote it wonderfully and I absolutely was enraptured while reading this amazing piece. You have portrayed Colin and Dennis really well, and in such a touching manner. The whole plot concept of taking pictures and such, was just expressed wonderfully. This flowed so smoothly too, and I was hooked. All in all, this is a masterpiece of writing!
Great job! 10/10
ADAuthor's Response: aklsjdhljkafs
Yes, POOR COLIN AND DENNIS :(
Oh thanks for this absolutely wonderful review! Your reviews are always so full of lovely compliments that I get a bit overwhelmed sometimes :DDD *teary*
So happy you find the flow good :D So happy you liked this! Aah, I'm a bit incoherent myself...just...THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG.
♥ teh Report Review
It was beautiful. Thank you.Author's Response: No, thank YOU so much for reading and taking the time to review ♥ I'm so happy you enjoyed it.
-teh Report Review
Well, this was absolutely mind-blowing. What won me over was the end. This: "You’ll have to look a little closer to find him – but he’s there."
While I was releshing in you wonderful descriptions, something in the back of my mind was being all picky and kept nagging at me with "Where is this going? What are we seaching for in these memories?" And then that one sentence allowed everything to fall into place. We were looking for Collin, one of the most minor characters that, despite going practically unnoticed, still left a tiny yet meaningful rift in wizarding history.
I also loved how you concluded everything with fireworks. It reminded me of the ending of Blue Valentine - I don't know if you've seen the film, but the use of fireworks is very similar. There is something dangerous and exciting about lights exploding everywhere :P They symbolize both destruction and new beginnings, and are easily connected to war as well. It's a very subtle and clever analogy.
Another of my favourite moments was how you described the parents' reaction when they found out. It's a situation that not everyone has experienced personally but has seen overdone in literature and film so many times, it takes some effort to let the individuals still shine through their grief. The way they rocked back and forth, while awkward - and possibly because of it - was incredibly touching.
Let's see...Oh yes, and I loved this sentence: "And there’s half our Dad over there – the margin of the print slices cleanly through his face and so he’s one-eyed, quarter-nosed, and with an unfinished smile." That, besides evoking a very vivid image, was a neat way to foreshadow the tragedy to come.
That said, I just couldn't get over your use of the word "folks"...I know it's kind of nitpicky, but I just can't see it fitting with the rest of the narration.There is something provincial about it that stands out. I'm not British, so I really don't know how widespread the use of the word is, but - ugh, ok, it's up to you, really :P
A few more things I found a BIT les perfect than the rest of the story was, first, the abundace of details. On the one hand, they do create some vivid magery that I enjoyed very much, but they were also a bit distracting. This mostly occured in the sea-side scenes. This sentence, for example: "During our stay there we’d always stop at the local takeaway for fish and chips, which came parcelled in newspaper, oily blotches soaking through the print." It's wonderfully descriptive, but I didn't find that it added anything towards moving the story forward. I'm not even sure what it depends on, actually.For exampe, when reading about Doris, I thought the tea-bags were a perfect touch, but couldn't say the same for the description of her arms and her knitting. I suppose what unites the details I found superfluous is their lack of interaction value. The diner and the knitting say alot about the places and people they describe, but not much about the relationship of the narrator and other characters to them. I hope that makes sense! Keep in mind, this is the most minor bit of CC in the world and it's really not important at all :P
Also, I found that Collin's memory of his coma was a bit of a strange addition. Staring at cracks in the ceiling is sort of a cliché, in my reading experience. Also wouldn't he have been more focused on the people around him? He seemed to have an endless amount of curiosity and awareness of people and, considering the unusual circumstances of that year, there would have been people fussing over him constantly, right?
Don't pay much attention to my CC, it's really the most insignificant of details. it's just that when I read something that is nearly perfect, I become more aware of places where I, personally, could imagine improvement. This was a wonderful piece of writing and I hope to read more of your work!
Cheers!Author's Response: Whiskey ♥
Ugh, sorry for taking twelve billion years to reply to your very lovely and incredibly detailed review! I have absolutely NO IDEA WHY you would give such a great review along with some very honest and thought-provoking concrit, only to end it all with saying "don't pay attention to my CC..." -_-
I need the CC and I can't thank you enough for it :D
This is a fic I didn't plan too much at all. I borrowed the starting line from another story and just began writing :) I'm glad you liked the ending; that was one of the easiest parts of the story to write because it just came so naturally to me.
It's so interesting to read your interpretation of the story. In my mind, as I was writing this, Dennis isn't actually searching for anything. He's just...feeling aimless and all, feels like he's stuck in some rubbish place and of course, his brother is dead and all. So he looks through his brother's stuff and photos without thinking he'll find much. But I like your interpretation of the fic! How Dennis might actually be searching actively for some hint of his brother, some fragment of him in the photos. It's a very logical interpretation, of course.
Glad you liked the way I showed the parents' grief. You're right about these sorts of things being overdone in films and books - there's always that danger of things become overly melodramatic. I'm so happy you thought I handled this well :)
As for the "folks" bit, I'm not British either :P I was intending for the Creeveys to be from the northern UK or somewhere...hence the way Dennis says "Mam". I don't know if people over there use the word "folks" or not :P I probably need the advice of some locals of that region!
Ah, yes the details. I know there are plenty of details, and not all of them relate well to each other. I did intend some of them to be random, things and images to leap around, like Dennis' attention is drawn to all sorts of the most trivial of all details. The Creevey brothers are indeed very observant, though Colin is fascinated by everything, Dennis just notices things with a certain distance and indifference (probably due to his present state). At least that's what I was trying to convey, don't know if I succeeded!
However, I do think you are right about the seaside scene. That bit is certainly out of proportion; it's much heavier on the detail and description compared to the other parts of the fic, and I have this nagging suspicion that it's because I was trying to fulfil the requirements of The Five Senses Challenge.
And yes, probably Colin's memory of being Petrified is a little out of place. I've always had the nagging suspicion that it wasn't supposed to be there, and I'm so glad you pointed this out :D You're a great detail-oriented reader! I will try to fix this bit a little. I don't think people would have really fussed a lot over him during his stint in the hospital wing. Colin was never a really popular kid :)
Thanks soso much for your review, Whiskey! It's been so helpful! And apologies once again for the huge delay in responding!
-teh Report Review
AHHH!!! What are you doing to me? This is something i'm not sure i can put words to! BUT COLIN!! *squishes him and Dennis to pieces* I started loving his character in ToujoursPadfoot's story and this has just added to how cool the kid is.
Okay, i'm going to try and put some coherent thought to this review. I really like the style you wrote this in. It seems almost innocent to start out with. Like something you'd hear a child saying when he's trying to explain how something works. I think it just makes the emotions, the intensity of the piece stand out that much more because it just shows how young some of these students were and yet they had to fight.
I love the details you chose to share with us, whether it was the patterns and the colours on Doris' hands to the yellow bits after taking the pictures off. (that scene in particular was so emotionally charged, the way you use that 12+ word in that moment just seemed to really portray Dennis and how he was coping with all of it.)
I almost started crying when you talked about him being petrified because i honestly hadn't thought about what it would be like for them. I don't know why because it seems like it would be something you'd think of but I hadn't. I suppose it really helped see Colin in a different light. You see him as someone who's gone through something, who isn't just someone who obsesses over Harry but a real, living human being.
You characterization of them is great! Honestly, there are so many details in here that it's hard to pick out which ones i liked best but each one you included really helped portray them both in a really lovely way that gave them both so much flesh. Even though we never see Colin, we almost learn all about him through his photo's, these captured moments of time show who he was as a person.
I've really enjoyed reading this and I honestly don't have anything to critique with it! It's just a wonderfully constructed story that you should be very proud of.Author's Response: Hello Zayne :D
My goodness, what is this amazing review you've given me!? THANK YOU :DDD And you don't know how incredibly happy I am to hear how this story has increased your love for poor Colin (and hopefully Dennis too!). And yes, gah! Loved Toujours Padfoot's 'Run' to pieces!
Oh, I'm so glad the style worked for you! I really wanted to capture Dennis' colloquial voice rather than have a more formal narration.
Hmmm...several reviewers (including you) have mentioned how they never thought about Colin's Petrification incident. It really does show, then, that he is quite an overlooked character both in the novels and in fanfiction! And yes, making him human (and showing him through the eyes of someone close to him - Dennis) is what I've really tried to do in this story.
All these little details, I think, make him more human and more real. I have this unpleasant feeling that after the final battle, Colin is hailed as a hero, put on a pedestal, everything...but people will never really know the real side of him - the side that makes him human. Hero is just not human enough for me :)
So yeah. That's what I tried to do. OK, my response is a little garbled! It's just that you gave me such an amazing review!
Thank you so very much once again! And I'm so so happy you enjoyed this :D
-teh Report Review
hey im sorry i saw all ur other reviews and they were so so long! but sorry i cant currently write such a long review but i wanna say that ur story's a fab!! omg purely purely fantastic and well written loved it :)
keep on writing stories...
shinichiAuthor's Response: Hello! It's OK, you don't have to leave a long review! Just the fact that you've taken the time to read and leave a review is absolutely wonderful! Thank you so very much, and I'm so happy you enjoyed the story :)
-teh Report Review
Oh teh! Why would you do this?!? Why would you go and write something so sweet and sad and just completely PERFECT and make me cry?!?
Words can not even BEGIN to express how much I adore this. Everything about it is just absolutely perfect! I completely LOVE the way you describe each of the pictures in such detail. It really put me into the story and made me feel like I was looking down at the pictures with Dennis as he leafed through them. The way you did that really is just a touch of pure literary GENIUS.
I also really love how you described taking pictures. At one point there was "Snap", used as sort of a signal that you were jumping to different parts of Dennis' life, and then at the end there was the "Click" of the camera as Dennis took pictures for Colin.
And the ending! The ending is just so amazing! The reader already knows what happened to Colin, and you explained it earlier, but you didn't end it there. You ended it with Dennis talking about the time when he took pictures for Colin, and by showing Colin during a happy moment, and describing him in one of his beloved pictures. B.R.I.L.L.I.A.N.T!! Colin's end was a very sad one, but here you've added a sweet memory of him that makes the reader smile at the end (while also bawling like a baby). Just perfect!
There were no spelling or grammar mistakes, and the flow was incredible. You are Very, VERY talented, my dear! I am just in awe, and this is now in my favorites!! 10/10!Author's Response: JAYDE ♥ YOUR REVIEW. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH IT!!??!
Oh my goodness, this review made me tear up a little. All this wonderful praise you're giving me *sniffs* THANK YOU. Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. I'm so so happy you liked this; you've no idea how much it means to me when people appreciate my work and actually leave such amazing comments like these.
The details of the story are important, because I'm really trying to give the reader an idea of Colin as a real person with a real life. And real life is pretty much chock full with boring useless details! Well, Colin sees the beauty in these somehow. Yeah, he's a pretty strange kid :P So detail is indeed a very important part of this story, I think, and I'm so glad it worked for you :D
This is already going to be a sad story, but I can't just let it be full of sadness and grief all the way through :D I had to put in some moment in there, that would sort of slightly shift the mood of the story a little...and that's why you have that final moment of understanding with Dennis. Baha! See? Dennis will be OK...I think :D
THANK YOU SO MUCH JAYDE. THANK YOU for favouriting this AND your amazing review and EVERYTHING. *hugs*
-teh ♥ Report Review
Uhm...wow. Just wow. This is amazing. I haven't read a lot of stories that involve the Creevey brothers but this has to be one of the best out of all of them. I don't even know what to say!
I haven't seen Colin being portrayed this way. Most of the stories I've read describe him as a hero and it's not that he's not a hero, but the term just gets a bit tiring (is that the word I'm looking for?) at times. I love when his dad says "And what is that to us?". That is just so true. They won't benefit from it in anyway because they don't even live in the Wizarding World, to them Colin was just their son who was taken away from them far too early. You describe Mr. and Mrs. Creevey's pain really well. I could just feel my heart breaking with them.
I love how you made the story seem like Dennis is talking and showing the photos taken by his brother to the readers. The line "Here are some of the photographs he took.." particularly stood out to me.
I love this! Every single bit of it! I thought you described everything so well and the way you told us the story through Colin's photos was absolutely fantastic! This has to go to my favourites list! ♥ Amazing job!
85th review out of 100Author's Response: Hiya Izzy :D
THANK YOU MY GOODNESS THANK YOU. I'm so blown away by the praise and wonderful compliments you've given me. I'm having such a hard time responding to the reviews for this story. I get so overwhelmed when I read them again *sobs*
Yes, I know what you mean about Colin stories. He's so often put on a pedestal and hailed for his heroic sacrifices and all...but hero is just not human enough for me. So that's why you have all the details of the story. The small trivial details that, in this story, really make a person human, and which really show moments from a person's life.
I'm glad you felt for the Creeveys, especially Colin's parents. I wanted to show the entire family grieving, not just Dennis, and how such a tragedy can affect the relationships between surviving family members. It's quite hard, and there really isn't any form of closure for Mr. and Mrs. Creevey in this story. Maybe they'll be able to sit down and talk one day. Maybe they'll try to move on with their lives. They'll have to, eventually. I don't know :(
I'm not sure if this came through, but Colin is the brighter, more energetic and optimistic son, and he's the favourite child as well...at least for Mrs. Creevey.
Once again, thank you so much for your wonderful wonderful comments. And thank you for favouriting this, too! I'm just so grateful and so amazed and gah! THANK YOU ♥
-teh Report Review
Hi there! Siriusly89 finally here with your long awaited review! I'm so sorry about the long wait, but life got in the way of my hpff-ing!
Can I just say that I love this story, just for the fact that it is about COLIN AND DENNIS CREEVEY WHO ARE BASICALLY MY FAVOURITE MINOR CHARACTERS! :D
This was so sad! So so heartbreakingly sad! Almost made me cry in some parts!
The line' and your missing all the details' really got me! Because to be honest, I think that was the real reason Colin photographed everything and everyone, to see them in a different light and to capture every single last detail!
Dennis really describes himself as more pessimistic than Colin, even in the books Colin was unfathomably optimistic, nothing could really ever put him down.
Doris really made me choke up! She seems like such a lonely elderly lady, and I somehow think that Colin saw that, and maybe I'm reading too far into this, but just maybe his personal project was to, if only for a few weeks, give her some company.
Colin's desription of being petrified was really chilling! I always thought that when they were frozen like that, that all their senses kind of shut down, but now with this, Colin had to stare at the same spot in the ceiling for who knows how long!
I like how you told us subtely where they hid out during the war. At their Muggle aunts house, listening to the radio for some little scrap of news, Colin with his DA coin!
The piece on how Colins death effected (affected? not sure with one to use here!) the family really got me! The rocking, and his mother shutting herself off, and then his father not being able to sleep! Really got me. . . . Dennis working at the ice-cream parlour was a subtle, but really thought out choice! And then him going back to see Doris. To be honest, I think she would really be the only one who would understand what he is going through!
Now, the last paragraph isn't fair! It just isn't! I was all geared up for a sad ending, all prepared, and then you land a bittersweet moment on me! And I am now an emotional wreck!
This was just. . . . . wow. . . . . no words can describe it! Just, well done! Amazing job!Author's Response: Hello there Siriusly!!! OK, I'm so sorry for taking such a long time to respond...but...your review...is just...gah...so amazing. *sniffs* I've been looking at it for many days now, along with the other unresponded reviews here :P feeling so overwhelmed. I get a bit incoherent sometimes, especially after someone gives me SO MUCH AMAZING PRAISE ♥
Oh I love the Creevey brothers, too! They're so overlooked in fanfiction, and in the series they're just shown as annoying little kids - often more irritating than helpful. I was really trying to portray them as humanly as possible! And I'm so happy that this story made you feel for them! Yeah, Colin is the more optimistic and energetic of the two, at least in this story! I had to find a way to differentiate the two from each other; in the books Dennis' characterisation is not really developed and he's generally seen as a younger version of Colin.
Ooh, I'm glad you like Doris' character as well! She was a tough one to write, and it took me quite some time getting her part right!
Yeah, i was trying to show how the entire Creevey family was affected by the tragedy :( I think their grief and the nature of the tragedy really changes their relationships with one another (Dennis and his folks, that is). Maybe they will get better soon. With time, I hope.
And the last paragraph, bahaha! It's already a sad story...I can't just let it be sad all the way through! There would be no hope, no lightness...I just wanted there to be that moment of understanding Dennis has, that happy moment he can hold on to! And I'm so sorry that it wrecked you emotionally. Here! *hands over a tissue*
Oh, I'm so glad the story worked for you! Thank you so much for your amazing review! *hugs*
-teh ♥ Report Review
Hello! I saw that you were last on the Hufflepuff review tag, so I came over to read and review something of yours, and I'm so, so glad that I did! This was phenomenal! Honestly, that was one of the best stories I have ever read.
I really felt every little piece of that story, and Dennis's voice was just so clear and present. The way he described his brother, and the way he took pictures of everything was fantastic, and then there were the pictures themselves. I had such a sharp mental image of every single one, and really felt transported into the story. When Dennis talked about Colin's death, and how it changed him and his family, was so emotional and had so much depth, but it also had this gorgeous subtlety to it. I really loved it.
This story was so incredible, and I have nothing but praise for it! Wonderful, wonderful job! 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Cassie :DDD
WOW, THANK YOU ♥
You've given me some amazing compliments. I'm quite speechless, really. I'm so happy that the story struck a chord with you and made you feel for poor old Dennis. I'm glad Dennis' voice worked for you; I wanted him to have this casual and colloquial voice - nothing too formal, hopefully it came out as honest and sincere too!
And yes, Colin's death would certainly have affected his entire family - there is so much that his parents might not possibly understand, them being Muggles and all.
Thank you once again for your lovelylovelylovely review ♥ Seriously, i don't think I could thank you enough for this.
-teh Report Review
Great story. Not sure how to describe it but you did a really good job. Grief is a hard thing, and a thing that most fanfic writers include but it never seems to hit right in the gut. (Me included.) You did an excellent job and your portrayal was excellent. I imagine that Dennis would return to Hogwarts, but everyone has different ideas so I think it is almost clever that he doesn't. This is great and keep writing because you have a talent for it.Author's Response: Hello there! I LOVE random reviewers! They never fail to brighten my day with an unexpected review! Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. You're right, grief is indeed a difficult thing to write - sometimes it can get a bit melodramatic. But I'm so so happy that you thought it was well-written in this fic.
I had this idea and thought it would be interesting if Dennis were a young school-leaver...being all disillusioned and filled with grief and all. Perhaps he does go back in the end :) But whatever he does, I think he might be OK :D
Thank you once again for reading and reviewing ♥
-teh Report Review
Hey there, you! Its me Gabbie with your requested review. I thought I would pop in and see what this was all about today (I'd planned on typing but that didn't go over well) and so, here I am.
So I really, really enjoyed this. There aren't nearly enough stories about Colin or Dennis on the site and I thought this one will just stand out to me.
It brought to mind of a little movie clip that I saw once and I was actually able to follow this really well. I thought Dennis's recollections of his brother were bittersweet and I could picture him so clearly in my mind as he went through the photos. I loved that you said things like, "Look here, there's this and that" like I could really see it too. It sucked me into the story even more and I really loved the detail that you put into their family life and how much Colin appreciated the smallest things.
I'd never seen him written that way before and I really appreciated it. Some make him out to be just some annoying kid but you've given him a really big heart and it was so great to read. Dennis's love for him just tore me up by the end though, I was sad to see how his parents fell apart and he drifted away. I would have liked to have had some hope on that but you left me with a wonderful image of my head. Of fireworks and Colin smiling. Simply wonderful. :)
I have no CC's for this, I really loved it. Thanks for requesting this and thanks for your lovely review on my story earlier! You are now a favorite author and belong in my collection! >:D
GabbieAuthor's Response: Gabbie! First apologies for taking ten million years to respond :( Next, thank you ohmygod for your amazing compliments.
I agree there are hardly any fics about Colin and Dennis - especially Dennis.
And I have all the feels and all the sympathy for all these annoying and silly characters in the series - from Lavender to Cho to Colin and Dennis etc. So I wanted to give the Creevey brothers a little bit of depth in this fic. How Dennis perceives Colin will definitely be different from how Harry saw him (mostly as a pest with flash).
And yeah, the details. That's where the life is...at least in this story. Both Creeveys are pretty observant, at least I hope I got them right.
Anyway, thank you so so much for your lovely review once again, and apologies for this overdue response! And of course, thanks again for favouriting ME BAHA ♥
-teh Report Review
Hello! I apologize yet again for how long it's taken me to get to this review!
I love how you've written Colin in this story; he's just so adorable, and so much more real than we see him to be in the books. I love how Dennis feels that his photographs capture an essence of their parents that is no longer present; it instantly adds depth to their story. In just a few paragraphs, your emotional descriptions of Mr and Mrs Creevey tell the reader so much more about them than physical descriptions alone would have. Quick typo: analogue is for clocks; I think you mean a film camera. ;)
I love the detail that you used to describe the Creeveys' summer holiday - the single suitcase because they didn't have enough money for another; the beach strewn with litter - you just describe everything so well, picking up on the smallest details. And the way that Colin made Dennis stay on the teeth-like rocks just so he could get the perfect shot was just so lovely, and so Colin - always wanting to capture the moment. I did catch a possible typo, btw: "Now with that old picture in my hand I can see and feel everything as they must have felt all those years ago" - shouldn't that be "I"? :S
I love how you included Doris - to anyone else she would just be a batty old woman living next door, but you made her real and using Colin and a couple of paragraphs, you turned her into someone with hopes and grief and humanity, and someone who affected Colin and Dennis' lives without even intending to. It was so sad to read that Doris knitted for her grandchildren while they were still alive, and then didn't know how to stop - you just made her so real, and used her to show how Colin saw that in her when everyone else didn't, which was so wonderful. ♥
And Dennis' voice was so distinct and so clear - I had this voice in my head belonging to a young Northern boy narrating the story as I read. The only thing that threw me off was your use of the word "suburb" - it's typically used in the south, but your descriptions of the Creeveys are of Northerners, so I'd suggest fixing that - but tbh, I'm probably just nitpicking, so you can ignore me if you like. XD
Your description of the Creeveys' viewpoint of Colin's first year was absolutely fantasic - Dennis' scepticism of everything that occurred at Hogwarts, and their lack of understanding of what being Petrified meant was done perfectly. You even managed to evoke fear when I read Colin's description of being Petrified... *shudders*. That boy is brave, because I don't think I could survive that kind of torture for as long as he did. And including his side-effects / PTSD was just genius and reminiscient of how amazing you are as an author.
"Sometimes it feels like I can only see and remember things in snapshots, in moments of acute clarity. In between these moments are slabs of encrypted time – a scramble of people, voices, colours – the details lost." < Those lines (in fact, that whole section) just resonated with me so much. You chose just the right words for Dennis, to describe it beautifully.
The section after Colin's death was so sad! You captured his parents' grief beautifully and realistically, and it was rather upsetting (in a good way) for Dennis to leave his family and not return to Hogwarts - I hope that he still wrote to his friends and saw them during summer. And the way he reacted when he returned home captured his grief perfectly; those people remind him of Colin, and he never minded until Colin was gone and those reminders became painful and I'll shut up now because I'm not making sense. (I have too many feels for this one-shot! ♥)
And that ending... ahhh. I wondered why you'd gone back in time, until I realized that this was it. Colin was always behind the camera, never in front of it, apart from that one moment. And it was so lovely to see that Dennis got a chance to understand Colin's passion, and for the ending to be of Colin smiling - because after so much grief, finally, there was hope. Your writing is too amazing.Author's Response: Katie ♥
what an absolutely lovely and amazing review. I was floored by it when I first read it, and now after rereading it again to respond, gah! I'm still grinning as much as ever. You've just piled compliment after compliment on me. I think I've already said a lot about this fic in the newsletter and discussion thread. I'm so glad you love the details of the story; I think they're an essential part of it.
Ah, Dennis. HE WILL BE FINE I PROMISE ♥ I don't know so much about Colin's mum and dad, especially his mum (Colin's her favourite son, yes she has favourites :P), but Dennis is resilient. He'll be changed certainly, and he won't be as light and cheerful as he was in the books (and you can probably tell he's a lot less upbeat in this story) BUT HE WILL BE OK. And...poor Colin :( JKR really went on a killing spree in DH. If there are so many angsty fics full of grief out there it's because of JKR :P
Ah, thanks for pointing those typos out and all! And yeah, another reviewer pointed out the film/analogue camera thing. Bahaha! I obviously know zilch about photography :P And I changed the "suburb" bit to "neighbourhood". I hope this sounds a bit more North-ish. Thanks for telling me! "Suburb" really does sound strange and awkward in context with the rest of the narrative.
Ah, anyway, thank you sosososo much once again for your absolutely smashing review ♥ Have plenty of hearts! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
And see you round in the forums!
teh ♥ Report Review
Wow. Just wow. I was on my way to read the second chapter of your Fred/George story but I saw the summary of this story and I just had to stop.
And I'm very glad that I did.
This story was beatifully done. I think that you did a great job of describing what it means, what it could mean, to be the one recording the beauty of life, the one seeing the subtilities of the glory of living. Colin didn't capture the beauty of things that everyone knew were beautiful- he captured the ordinary beauty, the beauty that's often overlooked.
I really liked Doris and Colin's role in her life. He saw something in her, probably the effects of a long and not always pleasant life, and he saw her worth. The pictures he took during those weeks might not be pretty but they are beautiful because they tell a story of a person.
I think that you captured Colin wonderfully- the manner in which he would ask people, constantly and continually, to take their photos. It adds an extra depth to his photography; it reminds us that he, perhaps, was not just star-obsessed over Harry- he just saw him as a fantastic subject for his photos.
The role you gave Dennis was very interesting and well played. He was the sort of younger brother who tagged along, participating in the activities of his older brother without quite understanding or seeing the point in them. He allowed his brother to exercise his quirks, though; didn't complain (overly much) when his brother had him wait because he had just seen the perfect shot. The way you described it gave their relationship depth without being overly perfect and thus unrealistic.
I really enjoyed the manner in which you told this, exactly as though you were relating a story to me in real life. It made it that much more personal, which it pretty much has to be since he's talking about the death and life of his brother.
I absolutely loved the ending you gave this story. The way Dennis understood, even if just that one time, even just for that moment, what Colin saw in his photos was beautifully done and lent some more strength to their relationship.
All in all, I think that you did a fantastic job with this one-shot. It was a fascinating look into the possibilities of the lives of the Creevey brothers. Very well done! :DAuthor's Response: asjkfdahlskjfhlkaj Roots! ♥
First, please forgive me for taking an absolutely ridiculous amount of time to respond to your amazing wonderful lovely review which just had me tearing up at all the compliments you've given me.
THANK YOU oh my gosh.
Yes, that's basically the main premise of the story - the ordinariest, plainest, trivialest of details rather than anything too abstract or grand. That's what Colin and Dennis see, and Colin appreciates them heaps - Dennis not so much. At least in this story :P Hopefully I pulled that off...
Dennis tags along a little, like the little brother! I think you've pretty much got him! Gah! I'm so happy you thought the sibling relationship was realistic :) It's one of the things I'm really concerned about: if character relationships are convincing enough or not. And I'm so so glad that the Creeveys work for you.
And the ending...yeah :) I had this ending in mind when I started writing. It certainly is a moment of understanding of some sort. Possibly you could interpret it (if you like) as a sign that Dennis is going to be fine...eventually.
THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR YOUR FANTASTIC REVIEW ROOTS ♥ I love the Creeveys, and I'm just so overjoyed that you enjoyed this story!
-teh Report Review
Wow! I've sat here for a while attempting to formulate something. Even thoughts are difficult to put to words after reading this story. You've evoked so much emotion, painful, haunting emotions, that I've been left reeling, even before the story ended. It was the series of snapshots that hit me hardest, perhaps because they illustrated Colin's death in such a frank, bleak way. No figurative language, no softening the blow - you show the moment as Dennis would have captured it in his memory, that sight that can't be anything but horrifying. He may have died a hero, but like his father said, what does that mean to them? He's still dead.
While reading this, I couldn't help but see the parallels to your Lavender story - the way that you not only explore a somewhat minor character, but you also give equal weight to the people around those characters, the ones they affect in their day-to-day lives, like the Creeveys and Doris. Colin wasn't just a character in Harry's story, he had his own story. It's a step beyond what most writers do when they take on minor characters. Perhaps they'll show the minor character's side of the story, but they rarely give those characters this much depth. You pay wonderful attention to the little details of life, from Doris's liver spots and banal existence to way that Dennis can't stand the sight of the tape marks on the wall. They're little things, what some would deem unworthy of the story of a hero, but they're the important part of the story, the part that makes it real. It's something that's even hard to find in published literary fiction, so to see it in fanfiction makes me incredibly happy.
It was an excellent decision to make Dennis the narrator of the story. Not only did I like how you sprinkled the narrative with dialect, but I also liked seeing Colin from this point of view - it's at once close, yet far. There are aspects of Colin that Dennis will never understand, yet Dennis is the closest person to Colin, knowing him better than anyone else. This produces an interesting effect in the story, setting it apart from other first-person narratives - we see into Colin's life without seeing into his mind. Isn't that like what a photograph does? It's a snapshot of an existence, but what goes on behind the face is still beyond our reach.
This is one of the reasons why the end is perfect. I was at first curious why you shifted things back in time, but then with the last few lines, I understood. Colin was always the one taking pictures, but that's the only picture of him. He spent so much time recording the world around him, recording things that wouldn't normally be captured, but what he missed out on was himself. And now that he's gone, there's only that fragment - a happy one. It offers a bittersweet ending because there was happiness in Colin's life, and that's what's captured in the image - not the horror of his death, nor the emptiness of the time he was petrified. It's beautiful.
This review is not helpful - all I've done is ramble on and squee my way through the story. It's an amazing piece of writing and I wouldn't want to even try to think of anything to critique. I'm excited to see what you will post next - your writing is of a very high quality and it's a pleasure to have the opportunity to read it. :)Author's Response: Susan ♥
So...THIS is the review that overwhelmed me so completely that I was unable to respond! So much so that I had quite a backlog of reviews to respond to! First, apologies for taking 102938 years to reply to your incredibly lovely review.
Gah! I'm just...absolutely floored by all the praise and compliments you've heaped upon my humble little story! Colin would be very happy indeed :D Dennis - not so much, he's a little indifferent, but I'm sure you understand :P
Ah, the snapshots bit. Yes, I wanted to portray Colin's death in the bleakest possible way - well, not really, but just in a sort of deadened voice - Dennis' voice every time he thinks of this. Dennis has a simple down-to-earth sort of voice, so I try to limit the amount of figurative language in this story :) I was even worried that the descriptive parts were a little too descriptive for Dennis. But he /is/ an observant kid after all.
That's such a lovely compliment you gave me, about giving equal weight to the minor characters (especially those who are OCs) in my stories! I certainly want to portray them with just a little more depth; they may not be fully rounded characters, but if I'm including them then I always feel the need to elaborate on them, to treat them fairly. And of course, I've gone on enough about details and how they sort of matter in this fic, the tiny random observations that do absolutely nothing except piece the fic together, bit by bit.
And yes, I already explored the POV of a character about to die/died as you've seen in A Lightness. Here, I wanted there to be some distance between Colin and Dennis - they're close as brothers, with Dennis being slightly in the shadows (though he doesn't mind much), but they aren't like the Weasley twins; there's stuff that Dennis won't understand about Colin, that frustrates him sometimes. I'm glad you like the POV of this story!
And I'm sososo happy that you thought the ending was perfect! It's one of the parts of the story that came to me so easily. Yes, I had to end on a moment of hope :) I didn't want the whole thing to be flat and angsty the whole way through. DENNIS WILL BE OK I PROMISE ♥
Thank you so very once again, Susan, for your stunning review. It's just absolutely made my day/week/year, and I can't thank you enough for taking the time to sit down and writing such a long detailed response! ♥
teh ♥ Report Review
Oh god, that is just so cute and sweet and adorable and yet angsty and so much emotion and... gah, there's just so much in this, packed together, that I don't really know where to start.
I really love how you've characterised Dennis. He's absolutely Colin's little brother, from start to finish. He's annoyed by him, he looks up to him, he tags along with him just /because/, he misses him, he loves him, sometimes he hates him... you've really caught the dichotomy and the tumble of emotions such relationships are (speaking as the eldest sister of three, I know :P).
Also, I lovelovelove the style you've written it in. Admittedly, I've never read the book you've based it off, but I think you really took the style and made it your own, you know? The way you used the photographs to tell the story, rather than the other way round, if that makes sense, worked so well. Plus, it's /Colin/ and photos were so much a part of his life that it suits it so perfectly. I'm not sure you could have written this any other way.
I did notice a couple of mistakes here and there but I've forgotten where they were, so they can't have been that important, right? :P And they didn't throw me off balance reading this or stop me from enjoying it or anything, so it's not that big a deal. Everyone is entitled to make a couple of typos or some such here or there ;)
The way you've pulled out certain important and not-so-important moments for Colin and Dennis is incredible. I love the way you included his petrification (which was no doubt a huge turning point in his life), and his parents reaction to finding out he's dead. It just really brought it home that he was so young and so innocent and so many bad things happened to him, you know? Getting petrified in his first year and then getting killed when he's only sixteen/seventeen for a cause he doesn't really know about... gosh, you've really highlighted his qualities as well: he's not just the little boy we saw always popping up and adoring Harry, trying to take pictures at every moment - he's patient and he's kind and he's slightly obsessive and he's creative and he's brave. You've really made him a proper, real person, which I really, really love.
One thing I did notice is that you talk about all of the pictures as though they're muggle ones, but I think I remember a point in one of the books where Colin says he wants to make them move like magical ones. Seeing as it can't be any more difficult than developing normal photos, I'm not sure why you've missed this out. Like before, though, it doesn't detract anything from the story, if anything it adds to the idea that he was looking into a new, different world and his youth and everything.
I'm sorry I'm saying love so much, it probably doesn't really help you much if you're looking for constructive criticism, but, honestly, I'm struggling to find anything to say that you could improve on (I like to try and say something to authors because it's nice to help someone improve, you know?). This was just lovely - really, really lovely.
Well done. Loved it :)
Aph xxAuthor's Response: Hi there, Aph! Sorry it's taken my a few days to respond to your very lovely review! Thank you so much for this :D I'm just so incredibly flattered by all the compliments and I'm glad you enjoyed the story! The idea for this story came very easily to me because...well...it's not original xD
As I mentioned in the disclaimer, the whole concept is pretty much influenced by the short story I read. In that story, the narrator is looking through an album of photos taken by her recently dead mother and starts recounting moments of her life. But I do believe that this idea has been used several times (I recall films where people looking at photos start to reveal their stories and all :D ) I read that story years ago, but it came to mind recently and made me want to write a story like that. Immediately Colin came to mind :)
Yeah the mistakes XD I was too eager to get the fic into the queue! They've been corrected and an edited version has been submitted for validation!
I'm so glad you thought Colin's characterisation was done well! It's probably the main focus of the fic! And yes, that sounds like him: patient and obsessive and brave and rather inappropriate at times :p
I didn't recall Colin's quip about making his pictures move in the books! I don't have my novels with me right now so I recall things by memory or whatever's available in the Lexicon / HP Wiki. However, I really did consider bringing the whole topic of wizarding photos into the story, perhaps contrast them to Muggle photos and show Colin's stance toward them. But in the end I scrapped that idea. I'm not quite sure it would've worked as well for me at least, I was trying to focus on a certain angle - about stasis and time and all those big weird things bahaha :D
Thank you sososo much for your glowing review, Aph! I really appreciate the length and detail of it. Thanks for your lovely comments! Glad you agreed to do the swap with me :)
-teh Report Review
:) You tell a very vivid tale, and actually managed to make Colin interesting. Congratulations I love it.
The flow is a bit off. Choppy but I think its meant to be?
Over all most sad. I started tearing up and barely kept it down. Happy reading ~ LadyAuthor's Response: Hello there, Lady! Thank you for your lovely and unexpected review :) I really do appreciate random reviewers, so thanks for taking the time to read and review! I'll definitely look at the flow again and where the transitions between segments might not be too smooth. It's sort of a segmented story, with flashbacks and all, so perhaps that's the reason why you find the flow off? Thanks for letting me know :)
And thanks again!
-teh Report Review
I saw you had a new one-shot on your status and it really caught my eye so I thought I'd come and check it out. I'm so glad I did, it was absolutely amazing!
The way you brought the whole story to life with the photos was so orginal and worked for Colin perfectly. The descriptions you used were amazing and the care that Dennis feels for his brother clearly shines through. I really loved Dennis as a character too which was really great.
I particularly enjoyed his project on Doris. I like to think the boys gave her just that bit of company, her story was really sad. I liked how you used things that happened in the book too, the fireworks for example. It gave us something to relate too.
I loved seeing Colin in this different perspective. In the books it's just generally him being annoying and bugging Harry but here he's just a photographer desparate to get his photo for his project. It was so refreshing.
I liked the way you described how Colin felt during his time being petrified. That's something we never get to hear about and with Hermione being one who was petrified I think we should have really. I liked how you mentioned he still suffered with some of side effects too. Everything you said made the whole thing more realistic. Just staring at the same crack in the ceiling for months though, jeez. It made the whole thing more terrifying to me.
I think the best part for me (I don't want to say favourite as it was a horrible bit) was when Dennis was seeing his life in snap shots. The last one 'Snap. Colin, lying somewhere in the middle of a row of people, his neck at an impossible angle - awkward, even then.' Gosh - it just carried so much emotion for me and just gave me a horrible mental picture. Just amazing writing.
I'm glad Dennis got one picture of his brother, and a really good one by the sounds of it. It made me want to fill up!
So yeah, I loved this one shot. To answer your AN no, it's not confusing at all! There were a couple of grammatical errors but they don't take away from what an amazing story this really is. You're a really great writer!
Lauren :)Author's Response: Thank you so much for your wonderful and completely unexpected review, Lauren! I'm so glad and so relieved that you enjoyed the story!
It's not original at all :p As I mentioned in the disclaimer, the style and structure of this fanfic is influenced by a short fiction piece by author Emily Perkins :D In her story, the narrator is also looking at a bunch of photographs taken by her recently deceased mother, and it sort of reveals a series of snapshots of her life with her mother. So, yeah. I got the idea from there. But then again, I think this is a fairly common concept; I've seen it before in films - people looking through photo albums, recounting their lives...
Colin and Dennis are so much fun to write! I really enjoy writing those annoying characters in canon - Colin is one of them, and I've got another much longer story on Lavender Brown as well :D I love characters like them, who have their own annoying quirks :) In this story Colin still has the knack for taking pictures at rather inappropriate times! But I've tried to portray him in a more human, more rounded way with his relationships with his family and everything.
I'm so glad you didn't find this confusing at all! And yeah, I know the grammar! Late night editing :p I've corrected them and put the edited version in the queue :)
Thank you so so much for your fabulous review and all your wonderful compliments! they've really made my day :) And I should certainly head over to your page soon to check out your work!
-teh Report Review
Tagging you from Review Tag 2.0!
Wow, you don't beat around the bush. There was something about the description of Colin and Dennis's dad that grabbed me emotionally in the description of the very first picture. You describe the family whole and complete, untouched by things that were yet to come. It was lovely and also really sad to see Mr. Creevey smiling and happy, his family whole. Even sadder to read about what he will become.
I can't get over how vivid and real all of your descriptions are in this first section with the trip to the beach. You have an amazing knack for picking just the right things to comment on, which I suppose is sort of the whole point of this story. An eye for the details that take ordinary things and make them seem unfamiliar. I was especially taken with the description of the rocks being like teeth. That was really clever.
When you described Colin's "project" to capture images of the people in their neighborhood, I thought that was brilliant characterization. It was a perfect description of the boy who followed Harry around with his camera, awe-struck but also observant.
I absolutely loved what you did with Doris. Are you, perchance, a photographer? In a few, relatively short paragraphs filled with nothing but descriptions, you managed to unravel the story of a life and lay it all out in two-dimensional detail. A sad story with an ending that's yet to be told. So much beautiful detail. And even the end of the section had a little kicker of character development for Doris, Dennis and Colin.
I am in awe of how you managed to take the experience of being petrified and turn it into something that added another layer to the amazing characterization of Colin that you've built in this. I haven't ever given any thought to what it's like to be petrified, nor have I read any fics that take up the topic. But for an avid student of everything going on around him, like Colin, it must have been torture. The damage it inflicted on him was obvious from the way you described it. Really, really well done!
You caught me off guard with the moment where the story progressed to Colin's death. But you captured the moment in a fashion that fit perfectly with the story. It seems that Colin isn't the only one who finds that the world occasionally comes into focus. Unrelated note: it wasn't until the next section that I realized that Colin and Dennis went into hiding at the aunt's house. I don't know whether that was the effect you were going for, but if it was, it was nicely done!
It's hard to pick out any one thing and call it the saddest part of what happens after the war. It was definitely sad to see Dennis close himself off from his family and friends. I'd like to think that some of his classmates checked up on his occasionally. The way his parents reacted was heart-breaking. It's so easy to imagine the two of them shutting off, feeling betrayed by this mysterious world that promised to make anything possible for their sons but took so much away from them in the end. Once again, I loved what you did with Doris. She doesn't talk, or try to console Dennis. She just understands.
The last image you leave us with is really lovely. A small dose of happiness to end a very gripping, touching story.
I'm still kind of in awe. This story is beautiful. Brilliantly constructed, written with amazing style and finesse and completely free of typos and grammar problems. I really, really need to read more of your work!Author's Response: I'm just...utterly blown away by your review! Wow! I never expected such a lengthy detailed review - from the review tag thread of all places :P And SO MUCH wonderful praise. I'm going to do something silly like tear up a little here... :D
First of all, to answer your question - am I perchance a photographer? The answer is no! I know zilch about photography! Which explains why there are no 'dark room' scenes and all despite Colin being an amateur photographer - in fact he develops his photos in a shop bahaha! A reader pointed out to me that the opposite of a digital camera is a film camera...so I have no idea what I was thinking when I mentioned 'analogue camera' in my story! Gah! That was embarrassing! An edited version is now in the queue.
I'm glad you liked the characterisations! Colin is meant to be somewhat annoying and persistent with his requests for pictures - and sometimes the things he does are a little inappropriate, e.g. his little 'project' with Doris. Still, I tried to portray him as humanly as possible, and through Dennis' eyes. And Dennis is the little brother who sort of tags along, but is also more impatient and more embarrassed of his older brother's quirks - at the same time he has this sort of affection for Colin...not entirely sure if I got all these feelings across xD
I'm glad you enjoyed the parts with Doris in them! Doris just...came to me out of nowhere with her knitting and sherry-drinking habit; I wanted Colin to have some sort of interaction with a stranger - Dennis is initially indifferent toward Doris, though this changes.
And as for the moment where Colin's death is revealed; I wanted that to be sort of a turning point in the story, where the atmosphere changes a little without there being too great a shock to the reader - and I suppose it helps that almost everyone already knows that Colin is dead in canon.
And of course I just had to end the story on that note :D The ending came to me naturally. I can't let the whole thing just be a chunk of angst with no moments of hope shining through and all :)
Well, thank you so very much for your brilliant review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it - it means so much! And I, too, have to swing by your author's page and read some of your stories, especially Marked, which I've already started. You've got quite an impressive body of work there!
-teh Report Review
Wow. That was brilliant. Amazing I tell you! Just wow.
Great work dear. Great work! I loved the description! it was astounding! and just everything. Poor Colin and Dennis was just wow.
god I need a thesaurus or something but seriously amazing work!!Author's Response: Hello! Thank you so much for your wonderful comments! I'm so happy that you thought this story good and that you enjoyed the description :) The descriptions and details were quite a major thing of the story! Thanks so much again :D
And thanks for agreeing to swap with me!
-teh Report Review
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