Love this story. It's going to be so hard to wait til may for the next chapter :(. Can't wait though!Author's Response: Thank you for your review!! The plot bunnies for the next Jily chapter have been attacking me but sadly I don't have the time to write them down. But I will, don't worry!
:D Report Review
HI! It's been long, I know xD
I'm gonna jump straight into reviewing this.
To be honest, this chapter was a tad bit scattered :/ It feels like things are going way too fast. I know you wanted to open the chapter with the dream (I love doing that too xD) but it was all so sudden that Gemma's actually in Sirius's bed.
But, SIRIUSANDGEMA WHE XD
One more thing is, Sirius shouldn't have said THE three words so soon :/ But its cute! Don't worry! I just wish Gemma's reaction would have been more..punk girl-ish and Gemma-ish. The reason we all love her IS because she's badass. There wasn't much of that in this chapter, sorry :/
(I'm so so sorry if I'm being mean! I don't mean to!)
Next up, Lily and James. It's getting interesting but I wish she'd stop being so.. moody and confusing. You're right, 'in love Lily' is so much better. I don't like this irrational jealous side of her. But I'm sure you have lots of Jily plans ahead! I'm looking forward t see what will happen next! :D
Aeryn and Peter. Whoosh. Wth happened xD Don't worry, amazing plot twist but I did not see that coming. So I'm curious! I can't wait to see where you're take this now.
REMUSANDMARIENNE. They're so cute, I can die. xD
I'm not mad at you for the ending. (I've read way too many fanfics I guess xD) because I know you'll bring 'em back. Right?
Jk, no pressure xD
But, question. You said 'There’s just no way he was just going to kiss her back when he hasn’t even told his friends he loves her.'
But why wouldn't he kiss a girl? Do the Marauder ask each other for permission or consent to kiss a girl? :P I understand if Remus says no because he thinks he's a monster and he can't be loved but this makes no sense to me. Unless I missed out something xD Apologies if I have then!
Anyway, I think this review is pretty much scattered and super mean and I'm so so so so so so so so sorry! I love this story and you and I don't mean to hurt you!
With lots and lots and lots of love,
~NightStarAuthor's Response: OMG STOP IT. That was like, the nicest critical review IĂ˘Â€Â™ve ever gotten. You were not mean AT ALL.
Ok, time to pull out Word so I can properly respond Ă˘Â€Â¦.
I kind of meant for this chapter to be scattered and a lot. IĂ˘Â€Â™m trying (and who knows if IĂ˘Â€Â™m actually succeeding) to model this story after a tv show type plot. So things happen and youĂ˘Â€Â™re like whaa? What is going on here? But the next 4 chapters are reactionary chapters from everyoneĂ˘Â€Â™s points of view. So I went for the shock and awe approach in that respect. I tend to do that a lot when I get to the group chapters Ă˘Â€Â¦ but good to know that things are moving a little fast. IĂ˘Â€Â™ll try and factor that in when I write the next group chapter XD
About Gemma and Sirius Ă˘Â€Â¦ so I know everyone thinks Gemma is this total badass, but thatĂ˘Â€Â™s not how I planned to write her. If she was a Gryffindor, then yes, she would be totally badass and a hothead like Sirius. However, sheĂ˘Â€Â™s really guarded when you first meet her but once you actually get to know her, sheĂ˘Â€Â™s a Hufflepuff Ă˘Â€Â“ really bright and fairy like. SheĂ˘Â€Â™s not brave, sheĂ˘Â€Â™s kind of a wimp Ă˘Â€Â“ hence the whole running away business thatĂ˘Â€Â™s associated with her. So she puts on this front, but when she wakes up in his bed and he says I love you, he breaks down all her walls. ThatĂ˘Â€Â™s why I chose for Sirius to say the Ă˘Â€Âśthree little wordsĂ˘Â€Âť Ă˘Â€Â“ to shock her enough so that she realizes that she loves him. So sheĂ˘Â€Â™s absurdly loyal to him after they decide to get together Ă˘Â€Â¦ which is her biggest fault, as youĂ˘Â€Â™ll see in later chapters. So itĂ˘Â€Â™s good you noticed that sheĂ˘Â€Â™s not a badass in this chapter, because it maybe means that things are going to be rocky for the couple. Changing yourself for your significant other doesnĂ˘Â€Â™t turn out well, IĂ˘Â€Â™ve learned that from personal experience ;)
Jily Ă˘Â€Â“ yeah, Lily is totally a crazy person. But I figured that if you hated someone for so long and they finally started ignoring you, youĂ˘Â€Â™d be like wait what? Where did you go? Why arenĂ˘Â€Â™t you bothering me? WHY ARE YOU GONE FROM MY LIFE JAMES? DonĂ˘Â€Â™t worry tho, she wonĂ˘Â€Â™t be crazy for long XD
I didnĂ˘Â€Â™t think of the Peter/Aeryn plot twist until I started writing this chapter. But if you read on, youĂ˘Â€Â™ll see why I did it. ItĂ˘Â€Â™s going to add a lot to his betrayal Ă˘Â€Â¦ whoops, did I say that out loud? :D
And no, Remus doesnĂ˘Â€Â™t have to ask the Marauders to kiss a girl. ItĂ˘Â€Â™s totally because he thinks heĂ˘Â€Â™s a monster and that Marianne deserves better Ă˘Â€Â“ if he canĂ˘Â€Â™t admit his feelings to his friends, heĂ˘Â€Â™s not going to open up his heart right away and kiss her back. MarianneĂ˘Â€Â™s got her work cut out for her before that can happen. This will all be explained in his personal chapter, donĂ˘Â€Â™t worry!
So again, YOUR REVIEW WAS NOT MEAN. AT ALL. In fact, itĂ˘Â€Â™s probably the most constructive review IĂ˘Â€Â™ve gotten Ă˘Â€Â“ IĂ˘Â€Â™m going to reference it in the next chapter so everyone can see your questions/concerns and my response. But a lot of your questions will be answered further into the story. This whole thing is supposed to be 35 chapters, mind you XD
This chapter was fantastic! I liked Sirius and Gemma's interactions and the fight with Regulus and the other slytherins was pretty awesome :D you write really well and I get drawn in heaps. One minor complaint though. It was a bit short, but you got it out quick so I shouldn't complain, sorry D: Also, congratulations on graduating I hope you do well with your degree in the future :D and thanks for telling us when the next update will be, I was checking everyday this past week to see if it updated, that's how good your story is! Thanks for writing it. It absolutely fantastic. Have a great week, and until next update. Good luck with all your endeavours :DAuthor's Response: I'm glad you liked it!
As for the whole "short" business ... the word count for Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2) is the same as most of the other chapters - I always try to hit 3,000 for the individual chapters and 4,500-5,000 for the combined chapters. So I guess you're referring to the plot? Well, this chapter is supposed to explain Gemma's visions and show that Sirius is a hothead. I didn't want to dwell on detailed paragraphs about feelings and such because I wanted the plot to speak for itself.
Thank you for your words of encouragement! :D :D :D Report Review
So, I'm seeing a lot of similarities between hitlers nazi regime and Voldermorts Death Eater/Pureblood revolution. Namely, when Gemma fears for her parents after an attack near their music hall as they hold mixed audience viewings. This reminded me of ss attacks on business that allowed both Jews and "normal" Germans to access the place. Was this an intentional similarity between the death eaters and SS? Oh and btw stories fantastic! Would have reviewed a later chapter but this comparison intentional or not drew me in and I had to ask. Good luck with all your writing and non writing endeavours :DAuthor's Response: oh yes, very very intentional :D
i'm a poli sci major and most of my studies revolve around europe in the 1900s ... so i've always thought that voldemort was a wizard hitler. once i started getting into the politics of fascism, man, i almost considered writing a paper comparing the two. haha that would have been the funniest essay ever.
thanks for the review dear! i am also a proud hufflepuff :D Report Review
Why you do dis!?!??!?! I have to read Peter and then wait like 3 weeks for Sirius and Gemma!? Urrrgh fine aha. I'm not complaining, well I guess I am. But anyway still good just I hate Peter! And I absolutely love Sirius and Gemma, they're my favourite after Remus and Marianne. Well, thank you for gifting me this chapter at least. You're a fantastic author, but still I CAN'T STAND PETER! He's such a rat! Literally and figuratively. Well good luck with Uni (I refuse to call it college you yank!) and good luck with job hunting and all the best with both your writing and your life I guess. Don't think I'm creepy, I love this story. Goodbye.Author's Response: Ok, so it probably won't be 3 weeks. I'm already done with a 1/4th of it so ... one week? two weeks? I dunno, I can't say yet.
I'm glad you can't stand Peter. I can't either. He and Aeryn are so hard to write. It really pains me. But I can't just skip over Peter, now can I? He's extremely important to the overall plot!
Thanks for the good wishes! I don't think you're creepy, don't worry XD Report Review
WOW!!! I want more!!! I love this story!! It's just so interesting! I really want lily and James to be together!! Hehee!! Wow I am fan girling over this now!! LOL!Author's Response: The next chapter is waiting to be validated! Your wish will come true soon!
And your other wish about Lily and James might not be for a while ... or might be in two chapters, who knows :P
And fangirls are always accepted here at Wide Awake XD Report Review
Ah! This story! It's amazing, I haven't stopped reading it!! It's really realistic and how you have all the music and everything of the 70's, it's so col :)
I love Sirius and Gemma together! And James was so cute about them!! Awww :) poor Lily though.
Ohh my god, Remus and Marianne have to get together, they'd make such a cute couple, when will he tell the marauders?!?!?
I like the little snippet of the songs at the beginning, it's cool :D
This story is amazing, I hope you keep writing! Author's Response: Yay!! I'm glad you like it!!
Sirius/Gemma ... oh my god, so much to say about them. They were the reason I started writing this story so I will always love them ... even if they have a lot of ups and downs together.
Remus/Marianne is a very close second tho. THEY ARE ADORABLE. So meant for each other, it's not even funny. But it's gonna take time for Remus to accept that he's human being and not a monster. If Tonks broke thru that barrier, you know Marianne can too XD
The next chapter is waiting to be verified!! Report Review
This is bloody fantastic! I'm hooked I'm not gonna lie. I love the way you weave in the sex, drugs and rock and roll attitude of the 70's with magical world. You wrought the characters extremely well and they are comeplety different in a wonderful and immersing way. I dearly hope to read more of this fantastic story! I wish you well with both your writing endeavours and your university studies.
P.s I love the musical quotes at the start of each chapter, I'm a fan of the Zepp and Creedence. You've got me to listen to the other bands as well! :D good luck and please don't stop writing this fantastic story!Author's Response: I'm glad you think this story is authentic! I'm trying my hardest to make things look like the 1970s, even though I was born in the 1990s. I've done some digging around to see what things were like and I'm mainly pulling from Eric Clapton's autobiography ... as well as my own experiences with sex, drugs and rock and roll :D
And don't worry, this story isn't going anywhere. Things might slow down when I graduate but I love Wide Awake too much to let it die. I have so much more planned!
Thank god you like the quotes! I wasn't going to stop putting them there (they are my inspiration for each chapter), I was just wondering if people appreciated/listen to them.
Thanks for the review Pat! Report Review
WHAT ARE HAMSTERS?! I figured that frogs were boys, girls were bunny rabbits, and purses were mouths/smiles. BUT WHAT ARE HAMSTERS?! AND THE P-WORD! I literally had to stop after the Aeryn section to just stop and ask that. It's been driving me up the bloody wall. I can't believe that Peter gave her a promise ring! Ahh! And, I love that Lily is getting jealous. YAY! For Sirius and Gemma - horrible what her vision was about though. And... I'm not entirely sure what happened between Marianne and Remus... the slang made me too confused... :/Author's Response: Hamsters are hands I think? I dunno, I certainly never wrote frogs, bunny rabbits and purses ... or flowery shirts for that matter. I think it's an April Fools prank? I guess it's funny but I'm a little pissed at my timing. A new chapter drops (with a ton of important things) and it's all in code.
I suggest you go back and reread it when they change it back. I'm working on the next chapter and I'll be sure to add a note to everyone saying the same thing. Report Review
I think this is briliant, but please stop with the slang, Im british and have never heard it, yeah use it in dialog but not in the whole text otherwise its hard to follow and i end up bananaing!Author's Response: Thank you for telling me this. I mean it! I seriously have no idea what I'm actually writing because I'm American ... and lord knows we get things wrong most of the time.
I may go back and edit words out if I have time but I'll put it on my list of things to do! Report Review
THIS CHAPTER WAS JUST I CAN'T.
I'm really glad that Gemma and Sirius are together, but I hope they talk about her Seer abilities more, and what she's seen, etc..
Remus and Marianne in the book shop was lovely. I'm quite glad that you didn't get Remus to kiss her back, because I think that you should have some continuosly progressive relationships besides Jily now that Sirius and Gemma are together.
I think that the lyrics at the beginning of each chapter are great, and they fit in perfectly with the characters emotions.
This was a truly amazing chapter that has contributed to a truly amazing story and I cannot wait to read more!Author's Response: I KNOW. SO. MANY. THINGS. HAPPENED.
You'll get your wish in about ... 2 chapters? It will be one from Sirius' POV. I'm still working out the details but I think you'll like it :D
Remus and Marianne ... that one hurt to write, I swear. I love them SO hard and I just want them to get together already! Ugh, I want to write so much more but I don't want to give away the plot.
I'm glad you like the lyrics! I really am thinking about putting a Spotify link on my author's page or something ...
Thank you for YOUR truly amazing review :D Report Review
Um, yeah. A confused girl is a bipolar girl. Let's face the facts. One second we can be completely, blissfully happy and once we realize we have feelings for a boy we tend to go loopy. And if you've hated the boy for years, we can go downright mental. And really? Davies... And since I'm assuming he's like Roger.. good god, NO. Just NO. And I love that Lily freaks out as soon as she hears that James' has a date! Hahaha, I can't wait for the next chapter! It's gonna be awesome! And I love that at the end of you note you say that shit goes down. I'm REALLY excited now!Author's Response: Yup, mental is the correct word. Lily is definitely going mental. I would be too tho - you hate a guy forever but you're used to having him around. So when he's not ... well, you can't help but feel that loss. And if you think you're starting to like him? Well, that's too much to handle. I would have more mood swings than Lily ;)
Walter is similar to his son Roger Davies but they aren't completely the same. You'll see :D
I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter but it's certainly taking awhile. So much plot, so much drama! Hopefully it will be done by Friday at the latest!
Thank you thank you thank you for all of your reviews! I am a better writer because of them XD Report Review
Freakin' LOVE Remus. I'm such a Remus fangirl, it's ridiculous. And Marianne has to be my favorite girl. Although Gemma comes in a close second. Although, seeing as the next chapter is Lily - I don't know. I wasn't sure at first about having all these chapters in everyone's perspectives and all but I really like it. You get to really know all these characters that are living in your head and showing us all these sides of them from everyone's point of view. Also, way to go to Marianne for just busting out and asking him out! I applaud her bravado!Author's Response: Somehow I KNEW you would like this chapter haha ;) I'm a Remus fangirl too so I tried to make him extra Remus-y in this fic.
I know this story is a LOT - there's constant POV changes and tremendous amounts of detail - but I wanted to make sure that everyone's feelings were clear and out in the open because there are like ... 4 plot lines going on at once. So it was easier for me to write about Gemma being a Seer from her POV than writing Sirius' reactions to her all the time.
And this is all just the beginning really. Things are about to change big time. BIG TIME!
I'm glad you like each individual character. Most of them are based on my own experiences so that's why they are pretty easy to write ;) Report Review
Good God. An entire chapter on Aeryn. Bless your heart, that HAD to be painful. And it's Quidditch! Although I'm sure the game was easier to write about than this girl's thoughts. It makes sense that she's so clingy - she gave up all her friends for Peter. And that's never easy to deal with, but it unfortunately was her fault. And I wonder what is up with Peter.. that has to be confusing for that poor girl.Author's Response: I KNOW. I really dread writing Aeryn because she's just so annoying ... and because I used to be like her at one point in my life. But that's neither here nor there ;)
The Quidditch match was fun tho. I used to write an Oliver/OC fic in high school so it was nice to go back to my roots so to speak!
Oh, things are about to get a lot more confusing for her, trust me :D Report Review
A Seer eh? Very interesting development. And I adored the beginning. A very political and smart look at the war. Even in the most serious of fics I don't think anyone has ever taken that approach.. Like you said in your author's note - your major is showing. And weirdly, it is always the stoners that seem to have the deepest and realest of conversations.. while they are high. As for Sirius... I hope she does open her eyes and realize what's in front of her.Author's Response: Originally I wanted Gemma to just be crazy - like Luna Lovegood status - but then I decided to make her a Seer. It ties the plot together nicely, as you'll see in the upcoming chapters.
And I'm glad you like my poli sci twist! I've taken a lot of overlapping classes about WWI and WWII and the whole time I was like ... wow Voldemort and Hitler would totally be friends :D
Bahaha! Yes, stoners for the win. I feel like I'm contractually obligated to say that since I am one ;)
And just you wait! Gemma can't run forever ... or can she?? Report Review
Love these boys. Writing about transformations and what goes on has to be difficult. You're a really great writer and I'm happy to have stumbled upon your story! I appreciate that you curse and don't sugar coat it. They are teenage boys. During the 1970s. Shit's gonna get real. And I love that you write it so wonderfully. And the next chapter is on Gemma?? Wow, def a new perspective! I can't wait!Author's Response: I'm glad you think I can write boys well!! I'm a female so I wasn't sure if I got them down right.
And yes. Shit is definitely going to get real.
As for the transformation ... I know it didn't advance the plot a whole lot but now if I write something like "And then Moony thought about the last time he saw a full moon", you'll know exactly how the whole thing goes without me saying it. And there's some foreshadowing/hints going on in this chapter, but you'll find out about that later :D Report Review
Hmm, very interesting. I like when you get to see into Peter's thoughts in fanfics. To write about his decline is often not covered because most people just can't see into how he was a Marauder and then became Voldemort's spy. I wouldn't ever want to tackle that, but you're doing an excellent job of it so far. To see his steady appeal toward the dark side.Author's Response: I know! Most writers tend to gloss over Peter. But I understand why - he's really really difficult to write when you truly get down to his motivations and desires. It's not hard per say, I just don't like doing it. He's like Peter Campbell in Mad Men. He's a sneaky little bastard but he doesn't let anyone see him being one. So everyone thinks he's this dope but he's actually pretty cunning.
That's the only way I can explain his betrayal. It had to start somewhere and he had to be SUPER tight lipped to get away with it and fool everyone.
You are hardcore making my night. I'm about 1/4th done with the next chapter and since you've reviewed so much, I'm getting plot bunnies :D Report Review
Remus DRUNK!? HAHAHA. That was awesome! I love all of them being hungover messes that can't remember what the hell happened the night before! Haha. Oh my.. Sirius is really bent up about this. I guess he really has never been so affected by a girl before. Hmm. and poor James! But he will win Lily over, I'm sure ;)Author's Response: Oh yeah, drunk Remus = hilarious Remus. I had him doing some very funny, very stupid things but I ended up cutting them out because I thought the chapter was too long.
Keep reading my dear. This is only the beginning for Sirius and Gemma :D
And James! Aw, I'm really traumatizing him in this story. But we all know he gets Lily in the end so it's totally worth the abuse, right James? He's shaking his head and not agreeing with me. Figures :P
Thank you so much for all your reviews!!! Report Review
I LOVE this chapter. It was like the epitome of the 70s, bravo. All the little details made it really come together. I love Sirius and anytime he is actually serious is the best. That party was awesome, and so brilliantly put together. And hmm, I do hope that Sirius gets the girl - but it's gonna take some sweet time.Author's Response: I went to high school right next to the Haight Ashbury district in San Francisco so I really really wish I could have lived in the 1960s/70s. It's really easy for me to write all the details because I've - well - heavily researched the topic shall we say ;)
Well, it really depends on what your definition of 'sweet time' is. I just wrote a very important scene for them in the upcoming 11th chapter :D Report Review
This is always true. Remus always finds himself talking himself out of loving any girl that loves him, so I'm prepared for that one. It's amazing how secretive Remus is, but I feel like this is natural for him, what with his problem and all. And I feel like it's only right that he's suppressed these feelings for Marianne to the point that his friends don't even know. This party is going to be awesome!Author's Response: I figured that since Remus was never outed at Hogwarts, he played things very very close to the chest. Hence all the lying and suppressing.
I don't want to give anything away but the Marauders had a hard time getting him to admit his furry little problem but Marianne's going to have a much more difficult road ;) Report Review
The fact that Sirius Black got high on the Hogwarts Express already makes me love this story. That was hilarious. And I like how you wrote a bit of each of them in this chapter. It was a very fresh take on them. I liked you showing James' insecurity, Sirius' natural behavior, Remus' deviousness, and Peter's thoughts on his friends. I like that he isn't a complete waste of oxygen like in most stories. All in all, a really captivating first chapter.Author's Response: Ha! It was the 1970s, it probably wasn't the first time someone's smoked a joint on the train :D
As you're going to see, this story is a bit of a round robin. So I wanted to start with all the Marauders because this story is mainly about them but it's going to cycle around a lot.
And Peter. God, I love him and I hate him. He and Aeryn are definitely the two hardest to write. But glad you liked him!
Thanks for the review! Report Review
I liked this chapter alot, I can guess their relationship is going to very chaotic! :D They seem the complete opposite to Marianne and Remus' relationship ( or lack of I should say!! well as at the moment anyway!), and I have to say I think I prefer Remus and Marianne, at least for now, as it's just so sweet :) I really enjoyed this chapter, it was really well written and Gemma's line about Sirius not being a talker really made me laugh! Cant wait to see what happens next! :) Onto the next chapter,
P.s Gemma's tattoo is the coolest thing ever!! and i love when authors give real life counterparts for the characters, its great, thank u! :DAuthor's Response: Oh yeah, chaotic is an understatement. They really are the complete opposite of Marianne/Remus but as you read on, you'll see that things will switch sides. A lot. One moment they are opposite and then boom! I've switched them again. Hehe, you'll see what I'm talking about soon enough. I'm not crazy ... well maybe a little bit :D
Thank you for all of your reviews! They make my day XD Report Review
Really enjoy reading this! :) Looking forward to an update!Author's Response: Hurray! I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter, I think I'll be done in a day or two :) Report Review
I also love Remus/OC fics, they are my second favourite after Sirius/OC :) (So I cant wait for the next chapter!) This was a nice insight into Remus' thoughts and personality. The descriptions were really good and I personally really liked that you described what the characters were wearing! ( weird I know but I love clothes!) ( and Maxi skirts... Marianne is growing on me already ;))
Anyway onto the next chapter,
Randomgirl :)xAuthor's Response: We are alike then! I have a hard time choosing between Remus and Sirius and writing this story doesn't make it any easier. I love Remus/Marianne but I love the chaos of Sirius/Gemma. Arg! The choices!
I adore clothes (especially the styles from the 60s and 70s) so thanks for noticing. They will play a bigger role in the story, especially for Marianne. But that's later in the tale :)
Thanks for the multiple reviews dear! Report Review
This is a great first chapter, it gives enough attention to each of the characters, that you get to get a taste of each ones personality, it was very entertaining and funny. Sirius was my favourite though! ( As usual :D). All in all I really liked it and I cant wait to read on :) well done.
Randomgirl :)xAuthor's Response: Glad you liked the first chapter. I know it was really long but I wanted to introduce all the Marauders because I know I write them differently than most. Wanted to set the tone for the story if you catch my drift!
Sirius is my favorite too but don't let the other Marauders hear me saying that ;) Report Review
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