Reading Reviews for Tale as Old as Time
  
39 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Voldy Needs a Hug Prologue

13th August 2013:
Hello! It's Voldy Needs a Hug with your (very late) review.

I'm typically not a fan of Next Generation stories, but I have to admit, I tremendously enjoyed this one. While this chapter was on the shorter side, it was a light and easy read, which is important in the first chapter of any novel. Your flow was excellent! You managed to smoothly transition from one year to the next, which can be quite challenging at times. Each scene was cute and original, fitting in flawlessly with the rest of the chapter.

Your characterization was also good, although I would have liked to read a bit more about James II. He was very briefly introduced and readers don't know much about his background solely from this chapter (although he may be introduced in great detail in a later chapter). He certainly seems very similar to James I, particularly with his fixation on one particular girl!

Overall, this was a great start! 9/10

Author's Response: I'm glad you think this starts well, and has a nice flow to it, as the idea of jumping from year to year frightened me a little.

As for James, he is intentionally a bit ambiguous, because he will remain a bit of a mystery for a little while longer. :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #2, by StellaRose Of Blokes and Blushing

21st July 2013:
Hello! I really like where you're going with the story! I was concerned it was going to be similar to every other 'James & Lilly' type fanfiction but so far you've managed to keep it fresh. Part of it is your unique characters but I also like how you portray your main character. Her feelings, how she reacts to her less than stellar home life, are realistic and aren't overly dramatic. Can't wait to see how the story develops. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: I'm happy you think I've portrayed Madison well! I know this reply is super late and this story hasn't been updated in ages, but I'm working on editing the whole thing and starting fresh, because some of the writing in here makes me cringe. But I'm glad you like it, and thanks so much for reviewing!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #3, by -BookDinosaur- I Really, Really Don't Want to Go Home

8th June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

I liked this chapter-I'm glad we're getting to see Maddy's point of view of all this. Her little comments were funny, and I enjoyed reading this from her point of view.

Her mother seems like a horrible person already, and I haven't even met her. Those comments about her height and complexion were sad, but realistic-I can imagine her mother saying it, even if it is nasty. Gah, poor Maddy. Now I just want to hug her and tell her she's pretty. Does that seem like too much?

James in this chapter was nice-definitely more mature than in the previous chapter, and he was so sweet to Maddy! Come on Maddy, just agree to go out with him already. You know you want to. And the dream! It was so sweet! Maddy's just in denial.

Personally, I think Maddy's just a bit on the Mary-Sue side, but that's probably just me.

Anyway, I can't think of much CC for this chapter, and I'm enjoying reading and reviewing this story!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like this from Madison's POV, because that's how the rest of this story will be. :) And yes, her mother is definitely not the nicest of people.

James has grown up a bit, and will continue to do so in future chapters. :)

I plan on making a few changes to Madison's character, among other things, in a massive re-write, because she's getting a bit too Mary-Sure for me as well.

Thanks so much for the review, and I'll be sure to re-request soon!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #4, by -BookDinosaur- Prologue

1st June 2013:
-BookDinosaur- here with your requested review!

I really enjoyed reading this, it was fluffy, light and easy to read. The flow was really good, I had no problem reaching the end of this chapter. I especially liked how you managed to jump between years without any disruption of the story.
The only thing I would say disturbed the flow was the spacing, so nothing big, only fussy people like me would be bothered by that anyway. :)

Your characterisation was also really good, James' voice was very believable. Even though it's only the first chapter, I can already see he's outgoing and very confident of himself. Madison seems like a bit of a hothead. ;)

The only CC I can offer is more of a keep-it-in-canon thing, but you say that James' room was decked out in maroon and gold, presumably the Gryffindor colours, but the Gryffindor colours are scarlet and gold. Sorry if it feels like I'm nitpicking, but I'm absolutely obsessed with keeping things canon. ;D

Anyway, overall, I really liked this chapter and it was a brilliant start to your story.

Author's Response: Hi, thanks for reviewing this!

I've been meaning to fix the spacing for a while, actually, so thank you for reminding me about that. :)

I'm glad that you like their characterizations, as I will start building on them as the story goes on. :)

Ack, the colours. I will fix that ASAP. :P

Thanks so much for reviewing this, and I'll be back to re-request!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)


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Review #5, by willow1 Of Blokes and Blushing

12th April 2013:
god, this store is AMAZING... Please write more... PLEASE... PRETTY PLEASE? WITH A BRIGHT RED MARINATED CHERRY AND WHIPPED CREAM ON TOP?

Author's Response: Ooh, I like whipped cream and cherries! :) I'm glad you like it, and the next chapter will be coming soon!
-ShadowRose


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Review #6, by K Of Blokes and Blushing

12th April 2013:
OK, this is much better! When will thr next one be up?

Author's Response: I'm glad - I like it much better too! The next chapter should be up very soon, as I've nearly got the whole thing written. :)
-ShadowRose


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Review #7, by patronusflight14 Of Blokes and Blushing

4th April 2013:
its good, keep writing!!!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it, and I'll definitely keep going! :)
-ShadowRose


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Review #8, by Ella Of Blokes and Blushing

3rd April 2013:
I only just started reading this and I'm really enjoying it! Keep up the good work and update soon!

Author's Response: Yay, I'm glad you like it so far! I'm working on getting the next chapter up ASAP! :)
-ShadowRose


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Review #9, by K Of Blokes and Blushing

30th March 2013:
Hi! Missed my reviews? Sorry this took so long! Anyway, I really liked the chapter! The character introductions were well spaced, and her getting used to school again is depicted very naturally... When will Quidditch tryouts be held? Also, update soon!
If I had one criticism about this chapter, it would be about how cliche Gigi comes across as... But maybe there will plot twists later on?

Author's Response: Quidditch tryouts are coming up soon, I've already gotten them written out and everything! :) Also, I see what you're talking about with Gigi... I actually noticed it a while ago and I changed it for plot purposes. I'm actually submitted my revised version tonight! :) I'm glad you liked the rest of it though!
-ShadowRose


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Review #10, by draco_lover12 I Really, Really Don't Want to Go Home

24th March 2013:
lauradracolover with your review.

Mmm.Madison seems to hate her home life and I am guessing there is some reason there.

I wonder if she will ever give James a try - he called her Madison. I just feel there is something going on between these two.

From a CC point of view - I would go through and close the gaps between the writing. I know its annoying but I do it on my own story. It just makes the chapter flow more clearly. You've got some really good descriptions in there regarding the guys in the story.

Laura

Author's Response: I do need to go and fix those chapter gaps; they bug me too! I'm glad you liked my descriptions, and more will be revealed regarding her home life and any James/Madison drama as the story progresses. Thanks for the review!
-ShadowRose


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Review #11, by draco_lover12 Prologue

13th March 2013:
lauradracolover here with your review.

Some very cute scenes there. You give some great thinking into James mind and he is just like we all think he would be.

See you can go back over and do something about the spaces between the chapters.

A good start but try to add some more details. It would have nice to have seen James reaction to being right about being put into Gryffindor.

Feel free to ask for more reviews.

Laura

Author's Response: Gah, those stupid spaces! It looks fine on word, and then *poof* massive gaps. I do need to fix that soon. :)

Now that you mention it, I think that would've been a really cool piece to add. I may go back and do that very soon. :)

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose


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Review #12, by Courtney Dark Prologue

13th March 2013:
Hey there! It's Courtney, here for your requested review.

I actually really enjoyed this first chapter. I thought it was a great start to what looks as though is going to be a very promising novel. It was light, fluffy and easy to read - an aspect which I think is important for the first chapter of a story (unless it's an intense mystery full of action, obviously.) The flow was great and I really liked the way you went from first year to second to third without making the whole chapter disjointed and awkward to read. In fact, the way you made your transitions from each year was really well done, and I liked the way you summed it all up at the end, too. It made me eager to read more!

Though this prologue obviously takes place when your characters are younger, and I can see that James is looking back on his past experiences, rather than actually experiencing them (I always love this style for a prologue) I think your characterizations were great - of James especially. Even during the sorting we can see that he is a bold, confident character. He's certain that he's going to be in Gryffindor and clearly has a lot of family pride. Later on, in the second and first year we certainly see a little of that classic James Potter arrogance developing, so that was nice as well.

I'm interesting to learn more about your other characters, especially Fred (because I love him) and Madison. She also seems to be quite a strong character, which I think is a good match for James and she definitely has quite a few similarities to Lily. However, I really like the fact that she comes from a classically 'bad' family. And though she's basically good, and got sorted into Gryffindor, from this character I can tell that she definitely does have some Flint traits, which I really like. I can already tell that she's not going to be a perfect, Mary Sue character - that she's going to have some sass and perhaps a bit of a temper.

There were lots of little details in this chapter that I really liked, and that definitely took it up several levels. I especially liked that you mentioned Harry was amused when James told him Madison had called him an arrogant toerag.

I don't really have any CC's for this chapter, and is was pretty amazing. However, just be careful to make sure your story isn't TOO similar to the story of James and Lily (but you probably know that already.) Other than that, this was an amazing start, and I'd love to read more!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Reading this review just made me so happy! :)

I'm glad it flowed well, that was one thing that kind of worried me about writing a prologue like this. :)

I love drawing similarities between both James I and II, so I'm glad you saw them too. Both Madison and Fred will develop more as the story progresses. Fred is actually one of my favorites to write. :)

That part with Harry was a favorite of mine as well, because it kind of shows Harry as the link between the two generations.

Thanks for reviewing!

-ShadowRose


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Review #13, by Nicte I Really, Really Don't Want to Go Home

11th March 2013:
Hi again! I'm here with your requested review.

It was nice to get to know Maddison a little bit more in this chapter, I still have a lot of questions and the feeling that she has yet to be developed, but that's okay, since it's the first chapter where she is properly presented.

I'm not sure why Maddy would think that Potter would put her off the limits of his friends, because (if it's like anything about James I and Lily's story) she just thinks that he is playing around and wants to get her because he sees her as "unreachable" (but that's only my point of view).

Anyway, while I love the resemblance between James I and II, I'm not really into the whole "Mini-Marauders" idea (but again, that's only me). Also, maybe you could think again about James' height? It's known that the Potters are not really tall people, although the gene could come from the Weasleys.

I love the humour that you give to your story. Maybe they're just small phrases, but they manage to make me laugh.

So, I'm really pleased with this second chapter, I've noticed a lot of things that I pointed out in my first review being covered but I feel the need to say that even with her insecurities, I have this feeling that Maddy is bordering the Mary-Sue line, which should be handled carefully. Also, I've noticed a few clichés here and then and may I say, for the future, try to avoid them and invent different, fun situations, because I'm sure that you can come up with something even more awesome.

I love your story and I can't wait to keep on reading it (and I really hope I wasn't too harsh this time, let me know if I was!) :)

Thanks for requesting again, I'm enjoying reviewing this story!

Author's Response: Don't worry, you're not being too harsh, I love reading people's opinions! :)

Hopefully the upcoming chapters will kind of get you better acquainted to Madison.

Madison also has a slightly different view of James's constant asking her out, and I think that ends up better shown in some of the later chapters.

That Mini-Marauders thing actually doesn't extend past this chapter, it just somehow got put in here once or twice. I should probably go back and fix that, now that you mention it... :)

Also, I think the Potters were actually quite tall family. Although Dan may not be so, in the books. Rowling did call both Harry and James tall.

I'm glad you like my sense of humor. Most of my commentary is things that would run through my mind were I in a lot of those situations.

Personally, I'm not especially focused on avoiding clichés altogether, because while I know too many of them ruins a story, I think sometimes having a few here and there kind of adds to the story in its own weird way. But hey, that's just my opinion. :)

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose


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Review #14, by Nicte Prologue

11th March 2013:
Hi! This is Nicte with your requested review.

First of all, personally, I believe that writing in first person is much more difficult than doing so in third person, and I believe that you've achieved that quite nicely.

So, I'm making notes as I read and HAHA! Knowledge seekers, great one! Also, you may want to check the ages, since Rose and Albus are two years younger than James; even is such a small thing, it makes a LOT of difference to a reader that is a sucker for cannon (like me haha).

I really liked the way you managed Madison's sorting, it actually made me feel the strain of the moment. I have to say that I'm a little, tiny bit worried about Madison tending to turn into a Mary-Sue; I know she's not perfect, but I can't really see that in the story, maybe you could try and show it a little bit more? (I know this is through the loving eyes of a 11-13 year old, but it doesn't have to come as an imperfection for James, just for the reader).

I LOVE James' way of proposing, very James I style.

About description, I can only say that it's great; the feelings/moods and what James is thinking is very detailed, which gives the reader a smooth lecture.

As for characterization, I really like your characters, but I think that there is a lot of room for development since I still don't know what James is really like, how he really feels and why he does what he does.

Flow is REALLY nice, I had no problem reaching the end of the chapter and I enjoyed reading it thoroughly.

Overall it was defiantly great, I really liked the beginning of the story and I specially liked the fact that the OC is a pureblood and that James fell for her.

Great work! :)

-- Andrea.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing this, and leaving such a long one at that!

I'm glad you liked her Sorting, because I really did work to get the tension into the writing.

As for Madison's character, I think a lot more of her flaws and non-Mary-Sue-ness kind of start appearing in the next few chapters or so.

I love making the parallels between the two James. And his character will probably be revealed more in later chapters too. :)

Thanks again, and I'm glad you liked it! Now, I've just gotta wait for an opening in your review thread for my next chapter and I'll pounce on it! :)

-ShadowRose


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Review #15, by EmWotter14 Of Blokes and Blushing

10th March 2013:
Hey,
Loved the last chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
-ShadowRose


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Review #16, by nott theodore Of Blokes and Blushing

8th March 2013:
Hello again!

I loved this chapter! I don't think you have too many new characters at all, because we've not had many so far, really. Poor Madison, having to deal with not only James (in her opinion, not mine! I'm a big James fan at the moment!) but also Garrett Goldstein. He really was creepy!

I'm so glad you didn't put James and Madison together as potions partners! There are so many stories that have two people being assigned together for a project and then as a result they fall in love...don't get me wrong, some of them do it really well, but it can be quite cliche and I'm glad you resisted any temptation you might have felt to do it here! I think Fred could be a fun character to read more, too. I wonder if he'll manage to get through the year without blowing something up in Potions?

I noticed one mistake in this chapter - you talk about the 'idioms' that Madison keeps thinking of, and I think you mean euphemisms, or innuendos. Doesn't make much difference, but I thought I'd point it out anyway, sorry!

I liked the development of the characters we already know here, too. Particularly the fact that Madison clearly fancies James and just won't admit it to herself, probably because she thinks that he doesn't actually care about her (oh dear, now I'm psychoanalysing fictional characters. I really should go to bed. Or work on the essay I'm procrastinating...) so it's going to be interesting to see how their relationship develops!

I know this story was only just updated, but I hope you update again soon, because I really do love this story already! Hence me reading and reviewing each chapter in the early morning when I really should be in bed asleep *self-congratulatory pat on the back*. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter!

nott theodore :)

Author's Response: Yeah, Garrett's a creep, but he sure was fun to write! The James of the past was probably a whole lot more annoying, but he's definitely a better person so far this year.

While the whole Potions partners thing is always a good idea because it forces them to interact, I agree that it has been far too overused in fanfiction. Plus, this gives her an opportunity to get to know Fred. And yeah, if he's anything like his namesake, I don't imagine he's ever made it through a year of Potions without intentionally exploding something.

Gah, you're right. "Euphenisms" was a much better choice. When I finally get the CI in for this chapter, I'll make sure to fix that too. Thanks!

Madison is very confused about her emotions, to say the least. And it's okay, I psychoanalyze them too...

I will update as soon as I get this next chapter pieced together... Right now it's in chunks.

Thanks for the review, again!

-ShadowRose


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Review #17, by Harry and Ginny Of Blokes and Blushing

8th March 2013:
haha Madison is slowly fancying James Potter! though she doesn't know it yet! but I hope I'll see as the fic goes, Madison and James getting closer and falling in love with each other, although James already feels that so Madison definitely needs to realise her feelings and trust James that he will support her when he finds out about how her parents acted towards her. can't wait to read more!^_^

10/10

Harry and Ginny

Author's Response: She's starting to get confused, which is just the beginning of it all! I'm glad you liked this chapter, and once again, thanks for reviewing!
-ShadowRose


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Review #18, by nott theodore A... Truce?

8th March 2013:
I want a free cookie! Even an imaginary one! Please???

Anyway, I loved this chapter! It was nice to see Madison back somewhere she feels much more comfortable! And it's good to see her back with her friends, too, and of course, to see her talking to James!

I really love the idea of McGonagall sitting in the headteacher's office and playing secret matchmaker to James and Madison when she decides who to give the Head Boy and Girl to...I wonder if she had any part in the decision on quidditch captains, too?

I hate her father even more now. I can't believe he hit her, and that she has to go back for Christmas. I really hope she finds somewhere else to stay so that she never goes back there. But James was so sweet and he really does care about her. I think she knows that deep down, even though she's trying to avoid the fact, and her dreams are trying to tell her.

Now they're sharing a dorm, I think that James has a chance (as long as he doesn't do something stupid like asking her out again to mess it up). I'm really interested to see how you're going to develop this plotline!

Now, where do I collect my metaphorical cookie...?

Author's Response: I laughed to myself writing about McGonagall, because I just pictured her thinking back to Lily and James and noting the similarities. And nope, Quidditch captains was all Longbottom, so even the slightly clueless Herbology teacher is in on this arrangement. :)

Madison's definitely starting to deal with some conflicting emotions, and I need to stop typing stuff like this because I keep getting thisclose to giving away the future plot.

Thanks for the review!

-ShadowRose


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Review #19, by nott theodore Routine

8th March 2013:
There wasn't a lot happening in this chapter, but I think you really managed to show how isolated and sad Madison feels at home. And it's no wonder, with a mother like that. Why couldn't she just congratulate her for getting head girl?! I can't believe she put Madison on a diet, as well! It's ridiculous, but I'm worried she's going to end up with some sort of eating disorder, being put on a diet and with the amount of exercise she's doing.

I liked the way we found out that Madison and James are co-quidditch captains though! That's going to make for some very interesting scenes in the future!

I've noticed a few grammatical errors and some Americanisms in this story so far, but I wanted to tell you that I actually really like your writing style. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Once again, we prove how little heart Madison's mother really has.

And yes, there are some fun Quidditch scenes in the future.

Yay, I'm glad you like my writing style! Also, in the future, feel free to point out any errors or Americanisms if you think of them, because I'd like for this story to be as polished as possible!

Thanks for reviewing!

-ShadowRose


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Review #20, by nott theodore Home Bittersweet Home

8th March 2013:
Hello again!

Madison's parents are absolutely horrible! Ugh! I feel so sorry for her!

Her mum is just a *insert non 12+ word here*. I can't believe that the only thing she can even be bothered to say to her daughters are insults about her appearance. From the sound of it Madison is really pretty and not in the slightest bit fat, but obviously she is going to have serious self-esteem problems in the future if she has had years of her mother saying that sort of thing to her. It'll be interesting to see how that affects her in the future.

I never liked Marcus Flint, and this chapter hasn't improved my opinion of him. Although if his hangover-phase is his most pleasant state, I hate to think what he will be like in any of his other phases.

Also, this is a bit random and should probably have come at the beginning of this review (sorry if the order is very confusing, I'm trying to stop my fingers from typing the same random way my mind thinks!) but I like your title, too.

Anyway, I'm still enjoying this story and looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Yup, Madison's mother has kind of distorted her self-image. And yeah, her father's not the nicest character. He hasn't changed in the slightest since his Hogwarts years.

Yay! I'm glad you like it! Thanks for reviewing!

-ShadowRose


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Review #21, by nott theodore I Really, Really Don't Want to Go Home

8th March 2013:
I agree with Madison. I don't like mornings either. Not that that's relevant, but I thought I'd voice my agreement with her anyway.

Moving on... I liked the change in the point of view in this chapter. We already know what James' feelings are for Madison, so it's nice to see her point of view. I think it will be interesting to see how her feelings develop (I'm guessing they're going to, after THE DREAM) and to see more of her character.

I don't like Madison's parents already and we haven't even met them yet. But I'm guessing the comments about Madison's appearance come from her mother and she's repeating them to herself, which already makes me think she's horrible. And I never liked Marcus Flint anyway. I'm feeling sorry for her having to go home this summer, so I hope there's going to be something that makes it a bit better for her.

Also, I like Madison's character even more now. And agree with her about the fact that it's creepy James won the Witch Weekly award when he was eleven (I thought that when I read the prologue, too, but forgot to mention it). She seems pretty cool. Her response to being asked out again was probably my favourite bit.

And the dream. THE DREAM! I couldn't not mention it, because it was really sweet. And kind of embarrassing for her, too, I guess. But I'm looking forward to whatever's going to happen next!

Author's Response: Well, that makes three of us. Mornings are not my strong suit, unless copious amounts of caffeine are involved. :)

As you probably noticed in the next chapters, you were absolutely right about Madison's mother. It's almost hard to write human beings that horrible.

Various dreams do end up playing a very important role in this novel, so this is only the beginning.

I'm so happy you've liked it so far!

-ShadowRose


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Review #22, by nott theodore Prologue

8th March 2013:
Hello!

I saw your story had been updated recently and I thought I'd start reading! I love James II/OC stories and so far this one is very promising.

It actually made me laugh - the Potter males don't have the best of luck when it comes to asking out girls, do they? I like the idea that it's carried onto the next generation, too, because in most next gen stories, James is amazingly confident and arrogant and always gets the girl he wants. Plus, Madison's character seems pretty cool. That outburst only came from a third year, so I can't wait to see what responses she'll come up with in the future!

Anyway, I'm enjoying this so far and I'm on to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you like it so far! I always love hearing that my story made someone laugh - but yes, the Potter lineage seems to have a little trouble in the female department... First James, then Harry (oh goodness, Goblet of Fire anyone?), and now James II. And probably Albus too, because I always envision him as incredibly awkward. And nope, James isn't perfect. I like it that way. I'm glad you like Madison as well, she's a fun one to write. Thanks!
-ShadowRose


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Review #23, by Fanifical A... Truce?

19th February 2013:
LOVE. KEEP WRITING!!!
This story is fantastic!! I love the fluff;)
Can't wait to see what happens with James!


Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you like it! I'm getting the next chapter together ASAP!
-ShadowRose


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Review #24, by K A... Truce?

17th February 2013:
I'm back! Anyway, another very well written chapter! I like the interaction between the two, and the subtle changes in James' behaviour, along with Madison alternating between calling him James and Potter...
Will you introduce more of James' family soon? Any chapter previews ;) ?
That's the extent of this incredibly erudite review. Can't wait for the next one!
K
P.S Extra points for the usage of the word "debacle"... it's so quaint :D

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! James is definitely trying to change his behavior, and Madison really doesn't know what to do with it. I think you start meeting James's family in the next chapter or two! I may start doing chapter previews soon, just because I think it's fun to get an out-of-context sneak peek! Yeah, I love words like that too.. :) Thanks for the review!
-ShadowRose


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Review #25, by bananasareamazing A... Truce?

15th February 2013:
pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls pls UPDATE it's so amazing!!!

Author's Response: Yay! I'm glad you like it! I'm getting the next chapter together ASAP!
-ShadowRose


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