This a beatiful story. I don't see many of good one of these two and I am glad that I found this one. It's simply lovely.
MELAuthor's Response: Aww, I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you so much for leaving a review. :)
Sam. Report Review
I really like hearing Orion talked about as a nice person, it's not often you see that side to him, but then again Narcissa would always see the lovely side of him. I like that he hated parties as much as Narcissa did.
I really like Lucius and Narcissa in this, Lucius seems kinda sweet, giving Narcissa his cloak so she wouldn't get cold.
Aww this was so cute, I loved seeing Narcissa and Lucius being together and dancing and flirting.
This is another story I'm adding to my favourites so I can read more when you update it :D I've lost track of the amount im favouriting.
It's your amazing writing :D Report Review
Loved it please keep writting!! I really liked both personalitiesAuthor's Response: Thank you so much. I've got this story planned, so I definitely intend to keep writing. :)
Sam. Report Review
Happy Valentine's day! Well, in ten days ;).
I really liked to watch the analysis of the family through young Narcissa eyes. Especially the comment about Sirius being with his new friend. Hehe. And then the small bit of heartbreak you give us when she thinks how Andromeda isnít part of the family, not to her sister and parentís eyes at least. That is one connection I always wanted to explore more on, and love with it isnít ignored. I canít imagine Narcissa never missing her sister, and her you show a more naive part of her. A girl that really does miss her, and itís.. it was a really awesome thing to sort of start building her character on in this.
The idea of Lucius having to wake her after falling asleep at one of these events is really, really sweet, actually. I think you painted the picture of him walking in, a sort of fun but conceited look on his face, and Narcissa looking all adorable startled, even more adorable with how embarrassed she probably was.
His explanations about the two types of crazy! So perfect and lightened the mood up just enough before continuing.
I think you really have the idea of the pureblood society down. It was easy to imagine Lucius's mother pushing an appropriate young lady onto him, despite his feelings toward her. And again easy to see that, if he were to find someone he truly cared for of adequate... breeding, that that would be acceptable as well. I always feel like I'm reading stories about princess and princes when I read about these two. With all the rules that comes along with who you can court and who you can marry... I love the genuine affection you have in this.
This was a really cute one shot, mídear. I love looking into the more innocent times of Lucius and Narcissaís relationships. Thanks for sharing this sweet little story &heartsí Report Review
Hey! Here for your requested review :)
I really liked this first chapter of what I am sure is going to be a lovely story.
Since your main concern was characterisation, let me talk about that first :) We've only seen a very older version of Lucius and Narcissa in the books, so I'd say that you pretty much have a clean slate as to how to craft their characters.
So, I'd say that your Lucius and Narcissa, though don't seem to be very much in line with canon, are pretty well characterised. We've never seen them so carefree and youthful, but I think that it is very plausible for them to have been like this in their adolescent years.
I like that though you showed their youthful nature, you didn't forget to emphasise on the pureblood "qualities", expectations, and habits that are tied to their characters and lives.
Narcissa and Lucius both are well-written, and their chemistry came through nicely in your narrative. I liked the playful yet sweet way they interacted, and then the slight beginning of romantic feelings on their part. The ending of the chapter provided a nice closure and was very sweetly written too.
Your plot concept itself is really nice, I like stories focusing on the initial years of Lucius and Narcissa's relationship. The writing style was very smooth and the flow was good too. Your descriptions were strong and the over all chapter was hooking. It interested me and made me want to read more.
Your grammar was also okay, though there were a few typos here and there, such as "gave me time process the fact" should have been "gave me time to process the fact", and there should have been a comma, not a period, after Lucius in 'Lucius." I smiled.'
Anyway, apart from that, this was a very nicely written chapter and I enjoyed reading it. Your characterisations of Lucius and Narcissa and the portrayal of their relationship was done in a great way. The plot, pace, flow, and descriptions were all really good. And the grammar stuff is definitely not major.
This really made for a good read!
P.S. Feel free to re-request :) Report Review
Beautifully written this is a wonderful back story.Author's Response: Thank you. :D
Sam. Report Review
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
This definitely is one of the top ten presents I've received, even out of the real ones!
I'm a sucker for Lucius/Narcissa, and I particularly enjoy your take on Narcissa. I think you defied a lot of cliches, and you did it with grace! Thoroughly impressed! Lucius is so lovable! I know fangirling over him is weird but I can't help it! He's kid on soft and I love it! I really loved how Jane was the bad type of crazy. When he was explaining what the good kind of crazy was I was practically screaming for him to say narcissa was the good kind of crazy! They are just so darn cute!
Thank you for this! Merry christmas to you as well Sam:D I really, really love this! I will be stalking this for updates!Author's Response: Ah, I fangirl over Lucius, too. I don't care if I shouldn't, I love him!
I'm so glad you like your gift, I love writing it (I love Lucius/Narcissa). I hope you'll like the rest, too.
Sam. Report Review
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