So, I'm writing (or at least starting) this review on the text app on my phone in the middle of a party I didn't want to attend. I feel sick and tired and read half of this before leaving for said party, so I'll be darned if I'm not allowed to finish it now. Not to mention I watched Prisoner of Azkaban last night and oh my gosh, the bit in the Shrieking Shack with Remus and Sirius and Snape. DYING. And so when I started reading this today, still rolling in Remus/Sirius feels, and realized this took place in the Shrieking Shack, it's become hard to stop reading. I'm a firm believer that you can write anything in this world. Period. This is proof positive of that!
I've actually come to be a pretty big Remus/Sirius shipper, which is something I never thought I'd say. And when I knew you'd be writing one I was so excited, and my gosh, this is LITERALLY one of the best I've ever read! ♥ Like... I have to sit here with my friends and not be able to tell anyone about all these feelings. The tone of the entire thing was oxymoronic: Hopefully bleak, lovingly hateful. How do you DO this?! Fair warning, a huge part of this review is going to be me hurling your own writing back at you. The further I got in this, the harder it got to put down. I can't even. Your Marauders are such a treat to read, and I missed them so much (because I clearly didn't get enough of them in Run) and this was just perfect.
“I was with James.” Sirius's mouth distorted, eyes shimmering around the edges with pewter jewels. “I was with James and Lily again until you ripped me away.” -- RIPPED MY HEART OUT, THAT. Oh, that would be the most painful thing in the world for him. He might have loved Remus once, but to separate James and Sirius... That would be so terrible for him, no matter how he felt about Remus.
“Don’t say that. Don’t say that it was for me. If you ever say that again, I’ll never forgive you." -- Shattered. Just shattered. And here it's so evident to see that even through what Remus has done, even through all the obscenities and curses Sirius hurls at his retreating back, he still loves him. It's a raw and heartbreaking love (which is obviously my favorite kind) but it's there. Sirius just can't stand to think that the hell he knows, Remus would put himself through, just to be with Sirius.
It was way too long to quote, but my absolute favorite part of this entire story was the end, with ghost-Sirius disappearing and ghost-Remus sealing his own fate, trapping himself with the traps he originally laid for Sirius. I've told you dozens of times, but you're so good at bringing stories full circle, tying everything together and making everything relevant. It's a skill I lack and I always find myself going to your stories when I need to remind myself how to do it. I don't know. I just have such huge admiration for it. ♥ Repeating the bits about dreams replacing good sense and Conjured objects was brilliant, brilliant foreshadowing!
I was thinking just before you posted this how much I wanted to read a Remus/Sirius one-shot, and you've gone so above and beyond with this. Missy is so lucky! (Except you wrote me CEDCHEL. STILL ON CLOUD NINE. ♥) Gah, I want to have not read this so I can read it again. This is everything I love. Tragic romance. Marauders. Twist ending. Write more of this, always. Always more.
♥Author's Response: Your reviews are the best to receive and the hardest to respond to. Trufax.
I'm beginning to see the allure of Remus/Sirius. I mean, I am Tonks/Remus for LIFE, but I can see why people love it. I've often thought that if Sirius was secretly in love with any of them, it might have been James, since he pretty much worshiped James. A lot of people are not married by the time they're 21, which was how old they all were when James died, Sirius went to prison, and Remus went off the grid; but I understand fans wanting to give Sirius love of any kind before his death. I've told you a million times and I'll never stop saying it; out of everyone in Potterverse, Sirius had the worst life. There is not a single one of them who had it worse than him.
Making stories go full-circle and tie things up at the end is a compulsion of mine, especially when it comes to one-shots. I always want to go out on a high note, or else what's the point?
CEDCHEL. YARR. Speaking of one-shots for you, I need to get started on your birthday Sneth. Which I am very scared to write. You wrote TWO AND A HALF NOVELS about them, so the shoes I have to fill are about the size of Jupiter. It's already established that I will do a poor job of doing the pair justice, so I apologize in advance.
I need to stop rambling now.
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"Here Missy. I wrote your favorite ship for you. Merry Christmas. By the way, I'm sorry for ripping your heart out and stomping on it." That should have been your disclaimer, by the way. Just saying.
I don't even know what to say, which is terrible because I had all these plans to leave you such an epic review in response for writing an angsty fic with my favorite ship (and your first slash!). I'm not even sure I'm capable of much except you know, lots of open-mouth gaping and offering you my broken heart.
Jesus. Big exhale. Okay, so this is basically one of the best, most realistic "Remus brings Sirius back from the afterlife" fics I've ever read. I love it because it's still somewhat canon, you know? You still have him marrying Tonks and having Teddy but they aren't a focus to Remus. He is so obsessed with the idea of being with Sirius in the afterlife that he ignores rationale and common sense and tries to follow his heart, but that only ends up damning him in the end.
Sirius's anger at being ripped from the afterlife and first chained in the Shack, and then kept imprisoned by words instead of metal...it's all so realistic. One of my favorite parts was when you were describing Sirius and you wrote about how adventurous he was and how he just looked at death as his next big adventure. I love imagining him that way - not afraid of what was to come, not like Remus.
I feel so bad for Remus. He loved Sirius to the point of insanity. There's no two ways about how mad he had driven himself over the idea of bringing Sirius back and keeping him a prisoner in the real world until Remus was ready to pass too. That's not fair to Sirius and Remus too, because while he had Sirius, there was nothing he could do about it. Sirius was just air...there was nothing tangible. It makes me sad that they can't be together but Remus deserves it for what he did. He didn't pay attention to the warnings and he used people. I'm sure he didn't do it purposefully, or to be malicious since he really wasn't sane, but it's kind of like, well, it's your own fault.
Ungh, there are so many good lines in here - little ones that don't really drive the story forward but reveal to us more about Remus and Sirius's characters (Adventure was one of his greatest delights, and a voyage into the unknown, the unwritten, the untold - it appealed to him more than any other adventure preceding it.). I love how you give us this clear picture of how Remus was and is without delving too deep into detail, if that makes any sense. Like this:
As a child of the moon, Remus had learned how to flourish in times of chaos.
This story makes me sad. The fact that Remus couldn't deal with Sirius being gone and just...everything. Tonks's desperation to be what she thought Remus needed, only to be greeted by a cold and aloof Remus. Sirius eventually disappearing and leaving Remus a prisoner in the Shrieking Shack. It's painful, but it's a good reminder that the dead should remain dead.
Thank you so much for writing this for me. You have no idea how excited I was to see that you had written me a fic for the Secret Santa. Your writing is magnificent, and it's no different here. Everything flowed so smoothly and it was beautifully written and heartbreaking, and..gah, thank you. You're the best.Author's Response: MERRY CHRISTMAS, HERE'S A PILE OF FEELS FOR YOUUU ~ XD
Sirius and Remus both led pretty depressing lives for a while, so putting them together was very D:
I try to put canon in everything. In my opinion, there is not a single ship in Potterverse that could not happen realistically if the author took the time to explain the hows and whys. Anything can happen! So I wanted to keep Tonks in the picture to make it feel a touch more believable.
Remus's behavior derived from what I know of his character - not bothering to talk to Harry until Harry's third year, avoiding people on the presumption that they wouldn't accept him, his somewhat selfish, very misguided attempt to abandon his pregnant wife to run off with Harry and his friends. Remus is both peaceful and dark, both understanding and narrow-minded. He's a wonderful character study. Pairing him with a free spirit as volatile and buoyant as Sirius creates a certain energy that I really like. And while in life Remus was usually the voice of reason and Sirius was the one with the bad ideas, in death this was reversed. Remus really was driven to the point of madness because he couldn't cope with the idea of living without him, and of dying without him. Sirius's acceptance of death mystified him a lot.
I was so nervous for you to read this! Everyone knows that you're the Remus/Sirius queen and you've pretty much set the standard for that ship, so it was daunting to give it a try. I'm so, so happy that you liked it. ♥ Report Review
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