Hi! I'm really sorry for the time it's taken me to come and review - RL got in the way. :(
So, I saw this one-shot didn't have many reviews so I thought I'd choose this one to review - and I certainly chose well! I don't read many Founders fics, but from what I know, your characterization of the Founders are perfect. The way that Helga is better than them all, but Salazar doesn't realize that until the end is wonderful - and fully backed up by canon, with the general mild disdain the other houses have of Hufflepuffs. I especially loved how you had Salazar concealing his internal uncertainty about his pure-bloodedness, trying to convince himself that he's just as pure as Rowena and Godric, and insisting on only pure-blood students - much like Tom Riddle!
I also like how Helga is unbothered by Salazar's opinion - it's very true to what's mentioned about her in canon, where the Hat says she'd take any student and teach them all, while the others all have specific ideas of what qualities they want in a student.
The way that you had Salazar cheat at the game was believable and in character for him, and I'm not surprised that Helga found it admirable that he would go to whatever means to get what he wanted, despite her initial annoyance.
I did notice a possible typo: “Have you ever been a child a day in your life, Salazar?” < I think this should be "a child for a day", however I said possible typo as I'm not too familiar with medieval language. :)
I would suggest including the physical descriptions of the Founders, and what Helga thought of Salazar. I understand that this was written as a companion piece to your novella, but you've written it excellently and I think with a little tweaking and the adding of more information, you could make it both a companion piece and a stand-alone one-shot, which might help to get more readers. XD
I really love this one-shot, especially the ending where Helga haunts Salazar's dreams with her eyes that are reminiscent of sunlit oceans - it's certainly a very good piece of writing! :) Again, I apologize for the delay in my review!
-KatieAuthor's Response: Hi Katie! Yeah, I totally understand the RL thing. It can get pretty crazy, but I'm really glad we got a chance to swap!
I really love it when people say they like my Founders fics because I know it's not everyone's thing, and it's not really a standout genre on HPFF. So I'm extra honored that you enjoyed this! You're actually not the first person to compare Salazar to Tom Riddle, and the more I hear it the more it makes sense to me. I see Salazar as very troubled and prideful, much like Tom was. And Helga is far and away my favorite character that I've ever written; she's just so different than the others, and she's determined to do things her way. And also, she just makes me laugh sometimes :)
I just thought Salazar might have a mischieveous streak in him, and I wanted to show an unexpected fun side to him. And Helga loves finding things to admire about people.
Thanks for the suggestions about things to add! I would love to make this work better as a stand-alone, so your tips are greatly appreciated. And I'm always looking to get more readers. The Founders section of HPFF can get a little lonely sometimes :) Thanks again for the great feedback.
This review made my day, thank you so much! I'm glad we got to do this, because I really enjoyed reading your story too. Thanks again!
Founder, I love them yet I find them oddly hard to write compared to like Hogwarts Era but you've did a wonderful job!
It's an interesting idea, that Helga was so unlike the others but it's true, she would teach anyone whereas they all had there specific ideas. You've sperated her but in a good way, like she is better then them and I like how you made Salazar realise that, not straight away but it took him a while.
You've got the characterisations spot on, Salazar and all his pureblood ideas and then Helga, not even seeming bothered by what he thinks. It's a lovely difference and I think you've wrote it really well and the idea of a race was diferent but fun, it added something to the story and Salazar cheating? It was just so him.
I loved your descriptions, especially at the end when you wrote that "her eyes were vibrant blue; they were skylights. They were sunlit oceans." It's a beautiful line to end on and it seemed to brign the story together.
This is a lovely one-shot and you write the founders beautifully, I'm going to have to look at your other founders-fics! :)Author's Response: Hey Shaza! Thanks so much for stopping by, and I'm sorry to make you wait so long for a response. But this review made my day when I read it!
You're right about Helga; she does have a totally different mindset than the other founders in some ways. I don't know if I'd say she's better than them, but she's definitely more inclusive, which I think is a great quality. And I thought Salazar might be intrigued by their differences :)
Haha, I figured Salazar might be a mischieveous one, since that's what comes to mind when I think of Slytherin. I tried to show him as a serious person overall, but there's no reason he wouldn't want to have a good time now and then, right? And Helga's her own person, unapologetically. It's one of the many things I love about her.
Aw, I'm glad you liked that line! I liked the idea of bringing the oneshot full-circle at the end, like you said.
Thanks again for the wonderful review! I'm so glad we swapped, because I really enjoyed reading your story too. We'll have to do it again sometime :)
--Maggie Report Review
Thank you so much for writing this!!! I really liked it, and have a strange feeling I'm going to need to read the novella that goes with it, lol. You did an awesome job keeping both Salazar and Helga in character and I really liked the pacing of the scene. I do think that it reads a little bit like it should be a chapter in a larger fic, but I understand that it's also a companion piece to your other story.
That said, great job! I think it's a fantastic coincidence that not only did you take one of my favorite pairings, but you added in one of my favorite songs as well! I'm going to have Rhiannon in my head all day now, hahaha! Merry Christmas, and thanks again for the lovely present! :)Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it! I love this pairing, and I'm so happy I got to write this little snapshot for you :) I get what you mean about it feeling a little incomplete by itself though; maybe if inspiration strikes I'll expand on it later. And yeah, if you get a chance to check out my novella I would love to hear what you think.
Merry Christmas! Thanks for stopping by to review :)
--Maggie Report Review
Fairly good. However, I was dissapointed in there only being one chapter. I am no expert, as I am sure you are, but I still feel that Slytherin's tone is not as vial and ugly as it should be. But that is up to the discretion of the writer I guess.Author's Response: Thanks for the review! And I mean, I don't really see myself as a Founders expert. But I didn't want to make Salazar seem too overly evil, if that makes sense.
If you want to read more, I have a Founders novella that I'd love for you to check out. It's called Down Comes The Night. Thanks again for reviewing! Report Review
I loved the imagery and eloquence of speech!Author's Response: Wow thanks! I'm so glad you liked it, and thanks so much for the review! Report Review
Terms of Service
categories & genres
short story collection