This was so good! I really love stories told from a minor character's point of view, it gives such a unique perspective - of the trio, of the battle, Divination even. I'd never found Lavender at all relatable in the books, but you showed a completely different side to her in this fic that not only fit in with how she was in the books, but managed to make her so much more three-dimensional.
I liked how you included so much in such a short (ish) story - her whole history from pre-Hogwarts until the battle. She grows so much as a character and although the books only really had the giggly and jealous side of Lavender, this really explained why she is the way she is.
I never would have thought of Lavender/Padma before but it worked out so well in this! And I liked Parvati and Seamus together too.
I could go on forever about how much I loved this. You are an incredibly talented writer. This is one of my favourite stories I've read on this site. :) Report Review
I’ve seen this story popping up all the time and I’ve been meaning to get round and review it so here I am. Surprisingly enough I have actually found a one-shot which is longer than this, I think it was about 11,000 words :P
Wow, I was simply blown away by this. I’ve never come across anything like this before, and I’m sitting here in awe. Everything was perfect the characterisation, the structure, the description, the dialogue. I could go on forever really. I can definitely see why it won all of those Keckers!
I think the addition of Viola is really what made this one-shot. Lavender’s always been a mystifying character to me, I always felt that she had some hidden quality about her which was hiding the real her and you brought to life here. The feeling of envy is a powerful one, and if you feel it so young like she did there’s bound to be scars of it in her later life. Viola was an amazing character, not in her likeability factor but in her complexities and how thought out she was. She’s one of the best villains I’ve come across, due to her two sides. The nice one most people see and then the other side, which only a few see.
I really enjoyed seeing the world through her perspective, it was so refreshing. I think what I enjoyed most was her naivety towards Hermione and Harry. She didn’t seem to pick up on their dislike for her, and took it all as a joke, and that provided a really endearing nature to her. She also proved to be a sympathetic character and a relatable one too, which is something I never would have thought I would say about her.
I have a confession that I knew about Lavender/Padma ship due to it saying on your awards, and that’s part of the reason for coming here. Yet I was still taken by surprise and I never thought it was going to come about in that way. I thought that Padma would be friends with Viola due to their reserve and almost coldness at the beginning, but I really liked how you eased her gently so her presence took me and Lavender by surprise. Their first kiss was perfect and the mention of the pineapple ring had me guessing.
The inclusion of sub-plots was also wonderful here. I liked how you showed how Lavender and Parvati were so close, and how they matured together which made Lavender and Padma being together even more shocking. You made me want Parvati and Seamus to get together yet that didn’t draw away from the main pairing. The comments about Trelawney and Firenze were also wonderful and drew in her love of Divination brilliantly.
I think I only spotted one truly tiny error here ‘“You will be well, Lavender”,’ where there was a misplaced comma, but unless you’re planning on doing a massive edit, I wouldn’t bother just for that.
That was just an amazing one-shot, teh. I am definitely adding that to my favourites and your writing has blown me away yet again :D
-KianaAuthor's Response: KIANA OMG ♥ ♥
Hello again! Eeep this review has turned me into a pool of non-human mush agghs I don't even know how to respond! But I'm really so astounded at how this fic of mine has been picking up bits of attention over the last few weeks - it did collect a few awards, but I've always had the impression that not many people apart from Hufflepuffs knew of this story. But I can't express just how grateful I am.
I am glad you like Viola's characterisation! She has quite a mean streak to her, and yes, plenty of envy. But I didn't just want her relationship with Lavender to be purely antagonistic all the way; I wanted there to be some variation. After all, despite these bullying tendencies of Viola, the girls still grew up together, played together and even parted on good terms at the end.
And the Lavender/Padma ship bahaha! Initially, for this story all I wanted was to write Lavender in a femmeslash pairing. Hearing you say all those things about Padma is so gratifying :D You've pretty much got everything about her and her relationship with Lavender - it's a quieter kind of relationship, a lot mellower than the Ron/Lavender bit, and a completely different experience for either girl. And Seamus and Parvati did get together! I'd like to think that they remained together for quite some time :D
I will be editing this fic soon; there are bits where I need to tidy things up. So thank you for pointing that out; I never noticed that misplaced comma!
Eee thank you sososo much for this amazing and completely unexpected review, Kiana ♥ And for favouriting! These are such wonderful compliments you've given me and they've completely made my week :D
teh ♥ Report Review
Hey! Siriusly89 here, reviewing!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read this one-shot, and not reviewed it! Shameful I tell you, shameful. So now, not only am I finally reviewing this, but also helping Team Black with a prompt, so it’s a win-win situation over here!
Viola, as ever, seems rather mentally-ill to me. Maybe her own mother really doesn’t spend that much time with her, which is why she feels the need to nick poor Lavenders mom, but still, the whole making a bookshelf fall on her, because she stated the obvious, that her mother was not Viola’s was a bit much. I actually had a similar experience, of someone treating my mom as their own, but luckily I never had something thrown on top of me!
I love the mention of the way she met Parvati. In the books, they were both described as a bit ditzy and dense, but here you really delve into their personalities, and show us that Parvati resents her sister, and then Lavender has a whole host of underlying issues.
You really do give us such a clear insight into Lavenders mind. She laughs loud because she wants to forget, and she joins the DA to fight, but not necessarily fight Voldemort, to me it seems like she’s sort of raging war on herself, does that make any sense?
I love it, Lavender was drawn to Ron because he seemed a bit out of place too, and more than a bit lost. The description of her ‘crush’ was so well-written, and it sounded like a typical teenage girl, but still with that edge Lavender has. That really doesn’t make much sense either, but anyway!
I like Padma, I do. She’s just so straight forward, and she really doesn’t sugar-coat anything, not even to make someone feel better. She sounds like that loner girl that no one really likes, or no one really hates, and she just intrigues me.
Can I just say that I think Padma/Lavender is the best ship of invention? You’ve managed to make the most perfect pairing in just one segment, something it takes some people chapters upon chapters to do!
Again, I really like Padma. She doesn’t judge Lavender for who she is, but she doesn’t encourage her either. She really is her perfect match.
The ending. Words cannot describe it, but I shall try. Its just so beautiful, and so perfect for this one-shot, and just. . . .. . gah! I told you words couldn’t describe it!
Go Team Black! :)Author's Response: Hello Sarahjane :)
Eee you had me flailing at "I can't tell you how many times I've read this one-shot..."
Honestly, I'm so flattered that someone has come back to reread this story of mine despite its length, so thank you soso much! And don't worry about not reviewing before...er...ehehe I'm guilty of ninja-reading as well :P
Your comments about the characters are so insightful! And they really made me think about my own characters. You're right about Lavender joining the DA not because she wants to directly defy Voldemort - but because she's excited, confused, impulsive even...basically she's a bunch of hypersensitive nerve endings :D And I'm glad you pointed out how the Patil twins are different! I was trying to make all the characters real and believable in this story! In the books, all of these characters - Lavender, Parvati, Padma, Trelawney etc. are one-dimensional, so it truly does mean a lot when readers find they can relate to my characters / or that there is depth to their characters.
And gaaah Padma/Lavender the best ship of invention? I think I just melted :O THANK YOU SO MUCH
I'm so happy and honoured to receive this review! Thank you so much once again ♥ And GO TEAM BLACK WOO ♥ ♥
-teh Report Review
justonemorefic just showed me this and at first, as I'm sure you can imagine, I was veeery hesitant because it's about 10,000 words long, but she was quite insistent and I was certainly curious about this crazy long Lavender Brown one-shot. I do love minor canon characters like her but it's so hard to find fics that get them right, so I hardly ever read anything about them. This, though -- this was beautiful. I was constantly reworking my way through your paragraphs, especially the ones that ended sections, because they were just straight-up gorgeous. And yet none of it was showy gorgeous, you know? It's not like you're beating the fact that you can string together these (Googling: synonym for gorgeous) breathtaking series of words over the reader's head; it never feels like you're trying to show us just how far and how splendid your imagery can go. It's subdued -- but obviously not, in places, like that psychotic Viola scene which creeped me out like whoa -- and so subtly complex that you can't help fall in love with it. I truly fell for Lavender first and foremost, obviously, whose voice you capture with a lyrical quality and a kind of airy eeriness that I haven't seen in a very long time; you have a light touch and an instinct for how to humanize and deepen these characters, like Parvati and Padma and Trelawney, without us feeling like their canon roots aren't there at all. The way you wrote this, the backstory you gave (I loved the quiet Padma/Lavender relationship, and that single moment when Parvati walks in on them right before the battle might be my favorite part because it's just a moment, and there's no time for an argument or tearful explanation) kind of melts into canon; it makes sense that we wouldn't see these things from Harry's point of view, and we see why he would essentialize and caricature these girls the way he did. It's just a very smart, deliberate, but light fic, and I adored it. Really well done~Author's Response: hwahh
...I think I just stepped on my jaw which fell to the floor...
Right, this is such an intelligent and eloquent review and I really hope I don't come off as an idiot in this response :P I have no idea why or how this little (or very long) fic of mine, sitting at the bottom of my list of stories managed to pick up such attention and such fantastic compliments from you and justonemorefic but I'm just so incredibly grateful and honoured and gaaah. Thank you so much ♥ I completely understand your hesitance at reading such a monstrous oneshot; in fact, it's been quite some time since I re-read this story from start to finish because I know it well enough and it /is/ 9000+ words after all. That's what happens when I try to write someone's life from start to finish, encapsulating those moments that would be important for Lavender - and without too much generalised skimming. In my headcanon Lavender died (but I didn't mention this specifically in my ending, so anyone can interpret otherwise :P ), and because she died so unjustly I wanted to do her silly trivial life absolute justice. And that's sort of something I tried to explore here: the sensation of being alive itself, of being aware of being alive, and everything that is so incredibly banal, yet exciting and ultimately, human.
ACK SORRY I WANT TO MAKE SENSE BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
Oh, goodness, I'm just so happy that the description and the word choice works for you, and that it fits Lavender's voice, maybe. I was very conscious about that - I wanted to be absolutely true to Lavender's voice but I also wanted to be descriptive in certain sections of the story; diction and sentence structure were kinda crucial in this fic. And, lightness of touch with the narrative is /precisely/ the effect I was aiming for with this fic, so thank you so much for commenting on that ^.^
Also, humanising ALL the characters is also something I was going for. And I'm incredibly flattered that you were able to empathise with the more minor characters (Trelawney, Padma, Parvati etc.).
Thank you so much for this amazing review kfjasahgsda I'm a complete mess of feels here. This review has made my next weekend ♥
-teh Report Review
oh I love this SO MUCh. My favorite thing is when authors dig way past canon and write something that has reminders of the original material but is wholly their own. Lavender - I've grown a huge soft spot for her over the years amongst the Harry Potter minor characters. I could hear her voice throughout so well, light and dreamy and hesitant at first breath, but then wildly courageous and alive. I'm not the best at gushing over writing styles as I am with characters, but your words are like poetry, but the kind that I can imagine coming from Lavender Brown. They fit and flow with her voice, which is a very rare quality when it can easily go over the top and sound like some poncy narrator.
I did a little wooop over the bits with Ron, because as much as I like Ron, he treated her terribly as a boyfriend and he can't complain about having an annoying girlfriend when he's mooning over another girl and was pretty piggish. Looking at how the silly things like Won-Won started so innocently, omg that was hilarious. I love that in the end their break up wasn't a Big Deal in this story and Lavender tried and griped to the girls and that was that.
And the bits of talent revealed in the eyes of Trelawney and Firenze, and just the whole general cast. Everyone was more human (or centaurish, I suppose) which is such a necessary quality in a fic about war, at least framed in this way. I was invested in everyone. In the books, it's easy to brush off Trelawney as batty, the Patil twins as annoying, and Firenze was forgettable for me, but here, I wanted to listen. Here, they were important.
And there's also this delicious mess, in that wonderful slice-of-life way, of conflicts and questions and relationships that tangle with each other and ebb in and out of Lavender's focus that is really hard to manage, but you got that tangle out in a story and turned it into a life - Lavender's life. I feel like I keep saying the same thing, but I just really want to tell you how much I appreciate how this story feels like I walking through her life with all the important details and insignificant details that feel important because of the way she tells it - and that's the magic right there.
It's 2:30am, so I'm off to sleep and I shall leave you this verrry rambly review~ oodles of love love love ♥Author's Response: edhkajobgisdfk mmphsgf
OK will try to speak some english now
I start hyperventilating every time I get a surprise review for this long rrrammmblyy story of mine :O And eagh, your review touched upon some aspects of the story that are quite dear to me ♥ I love Lavender quite a lot too :) But I can't find many fics in which Lavender is treated seriously during her Hogwarts years. And I enjoy writing her precisely for all that idiotic Won-wons and her somewhat embarrassing relationship with Ron (during which he was a real meanie - I totes agree with you on this) and all the trivial stuff she goes through e.g. her pet rabbit dying. I really really like writing these sorts of slightly idiotic characters and sort of giving them depth and making them into very normal people with lives so normal that it's extraordinary. Eep, not sure if I'm making sense.
This story actually ballooned out of control :P I have plenty of deleted scenes. But basically, yeah, it's Lavender moving through different stages of her life, and through different relationships (family, friends, romance, not-romance).
AM SO HAPPY YOU THOUGHT THE LANGUAGE FIT WITH HER VOICE ♥ I was /trying/ my best not to sound too poncy! I stuck to really really simple sentence structures and probably went overboard with the sentence fragments in some parts.
And yay, the other characters caught your attention too! This is such a huge compliment for me that gaaahkjs. I worked pretty hard to make sure that the minor characters in the fic weren't /too/ marginalised, even if Lavender is the main focus. And I'm glad that the Patils, Trelawney, Firenze all had a rightful place in this story.
omg thank you sososo much for this wonderful and absolutely unexpected review! And for all the amazing praise you've snowed down on me ♥ Absolutely made my weekend!
-teh Report Review
I'm here from the review tag.
I am in awe of this story. Its brilliant. I mean woah. Like WOAH. It's like it happened in front of me and it makes so much sense.
Sad endings always get to me. Why so sad?
Your writing style totally complimented your story.
I don't have an CC's other than the fact that this was outrageously long and I was getting a tad bit annoyed in the start and I don't like Viola. She takes me to an edge and a pointy one!
You my friend are gifted. I have read so many amazing stories by such talented writers and you are one of them so be proud of it!
EmAuthor's Response: Thanks for your lovely review ♥ I'm a little surprised you chose the longest piece on my page to read *shrugs* I know it's long. And Viola wasn't intended to be the sweetest kid so glad I achieved something there.
-teh Report Review
Wow, this was such a beautiful piece of writing. It was absolutely incredible. Definitely one of the most amazing stories I've read. I can't pick out a single thing that could make this story better. So I'll just gush about how brilliant it was.
I loved how you opened it, because we got an amazing sense of how Lavender's life was before Hogwarts. I felt bad for her, honestly, because her mother seems a bit out of it, and her cousin is just scary! When she pushes the bookshelf on her and then presses down... I got chills. And the way she just smiled was creepy! That's one of the many images I got from this story that are just haunting. You wrote those descriptions so beautifully that there was never a single moment in this story that I couldn't picture what was going on in Lavender's life.
And then she goes to Hogwarts! There's such a contrast between her home life and her life at Hogwarts. I feel like she's one of those people who's meant to be at Hogwarts, if that makes sense. She just seems so much more at ease there. And she has friends, even if they're ridiculous together! I loved the way Lavender is so silly on the outside, but seems so mature through the way you've presented her thoughts and opinions. The voice you've given her just seems so much older and wiser than who she is at Hogwarts, and I think that shows how much she grows as a character.
And then there's Ron! Haha. Even though we're seeing him through Lavender, I think you got his character so well! It was spot on! I actually sympathize with Lavender here, because you've shown how hard she's trying to make it work, and how she isn't just a silly girl who's jealous of Hermione. She just doesn't know what else to do. There's something really real and that, and I think you captured that beautifully!
I know I'm skipping around a lot, but Padma and Lavender. Let's just look at that for a second. It's a pairing that I would never expect, but that I really enjoyed in this story! Another instance where I'm just bowing down to your writing abilities! The way that they transition from barely knowing each other to being friends, and how they're so different, but just mesh so well, is brilliant. That just sets up their relationship so well, and everything about the two of them together just feels natural after that. It's so easy for me to see them together through their last year of Hogwarts, and getting through the battle together, because you can just tell that Lavender wants to protect Padma, and that she really loves her.
The end of this one-shot was absolutely gorgeous. I don't even know what else to say about it other than that it was incredibly beautiful.
This one-shot was wonderful, and had so many layers that I could read and reread and just pick at it for hours, because there's just so much wonderful stuff there that you've written so fabulously!
I haven't even gotten all my feelings out, but this review is starting to get rambly, so I'll wrap it up. This was phenomenal, and I loved it! Amazing, wonderful, stupendous work. 10/10
Cassie :)Author's Response: Hello Cassie ♥
...so basically I just squeeed my way through your review :P
This is such a lovely surprise! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (very) long oneshot of mine, and for leaving such fabulous compliments! It's been quite a while since I wrote it, so reading your detailed review going through all the stages of Lavender's life made me remember the whole process of writing it.
Indeed, Lavender's hardly the most popular character in fanfic no thanks to the negative portrayal of her in the books. But I think these are the sorts of characters I like writing most - I like to write the other sides of people, if you get what I mean :)
Yeah, Lavender doesn't have the easiest of home lives. Well, it's not the worst, but there's generally a lack of warmth and affection from her mother, who constantly has a preoccupied air about her, and then there's the complicated relationship with her cousin, Viola.
Hogwarts is perfect for Lav Lav :) She has friends, falls in love, falls out of love - and generally experiences life. She's the sort of very lively person, someone who feels things very keenly, and who observes things closely and who's very tuned in to the present moment.
I'm glad you were able to sympathise with Lavender during her relationship with Ron :D That's what I was hoping readers would feel for her. Ron is always a bit of a jerk in the novels, in my opinion :P
And yeah, the Lavender/Padma ship just came out of nowhere when I was writing the story. But I really wanted Lav Lav to experience a more fulfilling relationship before the end of her life; I wanted her to experience this emotional extreme of bliss and young love. But their relationship does sort of break down a little in the end, though :)
I'm so glad you liked the ending! Gaah, Cassie, thanks sosososo much once again for this amazing unexpected review ♥ It means so much to me when someone leaves such reviews telling me they've really enjoyed my writing ♥
teh Report Review
Hi teh! Here from the review tag ;)
Wow. Just wow. This was an absolutely beautifully written one-shot! Your descriptions are consistently flawless within your work. They're original and grasp the reader. I see what Lavender is seeing with such clarity that if I didn't know that this was a piece of fiction, I wouldn't have doubted whether or not this is real.
I also loved how you went through Lavender's life from her youth to the Battle of Hogwarts. I've never liked her that much as a character, she's always seemed too much of an airhead for me, but you portrayed her as a flawed character who could never get anything right. Yes, she made fun of people, but she just wanted to be happy. You made me see her in another light which is the beauty of fanfiction ;)
I hate Viola with abundant vigour :P She's much too much like my little sister. Perfect in the eyes of adults, but as soon as their backs are turned she turns into something else altogether. The scene with the bookshelf made me really pity Lavender, I was actually spurring her on, willing her not to break in the face of the bully :P
The friendship between Parvati and Lavender is so wonderfully written. The best of friends, joint at the hip, so much so that even Seamus was starting to recognise! I also loved the relationship between Lavender and Padma. You wrote it so delicately and soft as innocent teenage romances often are. Slash can be hard to write, but you wrote it so beautifully! And again, I never questioned that Lavender/Padma was non canon, it just seems to fit.
I also loved the ending. Lavender and Padma's relationship cracking slightly as you'd expect it to in the face of a war. The way you wrote Lavender's death was again, well written and a tear jerker.
Great job! Adding to the favorites ;)
~AishaAuthor's Response: HAI AISHA
Thanks for your absolutely lovely glowing review!
I never really cared for Lavender until I began writing this story. Then I started noticing her. That's why I love writing so much; it makes me notice things and people. Anyway.
*blush* I secretly love it when people compliment me on my descriptions :D So thank you so much! I'm really flattered and pleased that you enjoy them, and to mention that Lavender has been portrayed with "such clarity"! Gah akshdljkhpppqewiurcnjl :DDD
This isn't a coherent review response at all sorry.
Anyway, this story is partly meant to reflect the different relationships in Lav Lav's life - from family relationships to friendships to infatuations to something more to something not so much anymore. I really wanted Lavender/Padma to work out seamlessly but it didn't feel realistic to me. Because Lavender got a bit out of hand and started doing her own thing in my head and before I knew it their relationship was certainly weakening. So I'm glad you found that realistic :)
Thanks for favouriting this! And for leaving this amazing review ♥ You've made my night!
-teh Report Review
I just realized that I favorited this story, but I never left a review...because I'm lazy and should be cast into a fire somewhere.
Right, I love this. You've got the two types of love that I'm familiar with, and that most people seem to not be able to decipher: obsession and companion.
Lavendar was a wee bit obsessed with Ronnie-poo wasn't she? I love it. I think we all have this relationship where the other person can do no wrong and we abandon our friends to drool over them. Ultimately, this relationship will fail, because it's hard on both parties.
Lavendar and Padma? Holy Hufflepuff, I was so surprised that I literally choked on my coffee. It's just so...perfect! I'm blushing just thinking about it *ahem* So...right, I like how their relationship started out friendly, turned romantic, and then finished off on companionate. Well, not really finished, they were really forced apart because of the war and such.
I'm sure everyone else has geeked out over the ending, but, here I am, about to make a big deal about it again. The ending couldn't have been more perfect. It left me on the edge of my seat, wondering if she survives or not! Geez...the feels.
Anyway, there is the belated review for your wonderful story :D
JackAuthor's Response: Hello Jack!
You have no idea how much this review made me grin like a fool :D
First, thanks so so much for reading this fic and reviewing AND favouriting ♥ I wasn't expecting this fic to get any more reviews because of its length but you've gone and surprised me there.
Yes, Lavender goes through different stages of relationships in the fic :) From mother-daughter-'sister' to friendship to childish infatuation and then to something a little more satisfying, though only for a temporary period. I am so glad you picked up on that!
And bahahaha! Lavender/Padma ♥ I see that it took you by surprise :P Nevertheless, I'm so glad that you liked the pairing (I think you did) and that you didn't think it was forced or silly or anything because face it, I'm absolutely rubbish at writing romance :P
As for the ending, in my headcanon Lavender died :( But I didn't explicitly mention that she did, so you can interpret that she recovered (somehow) from all her injuries and became a happier person hallelujah. I dunno, in the films she certainly was shown as dead. And even in the books, she did fall from a certain height, and then Fenrir Greyback pretty much ripped her throat out :(
THANK YOU SO MUCH ONCE AGAIN :D
teh Report Review
Here for review tag!
Wow, this was just so beautiful. You really have a knack of writing amazing stuff! So far, I have enjoyed all your stories, and I loved this one a lot too.
You have captured Lavender wonderfully and I loved the way you portrayed her and her life. I especially liked the "lithe and limber" section a lot as your descriptions were great. I also found the characterisation of her mother quite interesting. Lavender's relationship with Viola was also shown well. Good job!
I enjoyed the light you shed upon Ron and Lavender's relationship too, it was quite canon-compliant, and I liked seeing Lavender's take on it.
I immensely loved the distinctions presented between Parvati and Padma - you expressed them beautifully and the concept itself was quite unique.
I am not much of a slash person really, I avoid reading it, but this story was just so well-written that I didn't mind. So great work on your writing style/narrative, characterisations, descriptions, plot, and flow. It was all very intricately done and quite perfect. I had a great time reading it. You're truly a wonderful writer!
(AditiDraco95)Author's Response: AD :D
You are the first person who's read every single one of my stories so far, and so THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS :D Always happy whenever you tag me!
I'm so glad you made it through this monstrous oneshot. It's definitely far too long to be a oneshot :D And I'm so happy that you liked the characterisations in the fic! Glad you liked the story enough to not mind the slash bits :D
It wasn't the easiest, writing this fic, and I'm so grateful that you took the time to read it through and leave me such lovely comments! Thank you so very much once again :D
-teh Report Review
I've got to tell you, before I say anything else, that I don't like Lavender much, having been incapable (like a majority of people, I think) to see past the in-love teenager she's depicted as.
But this makes her so much more. Her relationship with Viola, as a start, is incredibly realistic, which makes it even more terrifying.
I love the friendship you gave her and Parvati -- it compensates for the twisted incident with Viola, and definitely justifies the way JK wrote her afterwards, bubbly, laughing, a bit light-headed sometimes...
The twist with Padma is one I could definitely imagine, particularly with your build-up to it. All the pieces seem to fall perfectly into place, I'm quite impressed!
Then there's all the other traits you give Lavender: bravery, determination, all of these things that remind us why she was sorted into Gryffindor; and at the same time she's scared and unsure and so, so realistic...
I may be rambling a little here, but this was truly a wonderful introspection into Lavender's character, and I loved every word of it -- though did it have to end so sadly?
(I actually completely agree with your ending, it's only the fluff-hungry side of my personnality complaining).Author's Response: Hiya Val and thanks for your lovely review :D
I'm glad you think my story goes beyond the general perception of Lavender as a silly, irritating character from the series! I love silly irritating characters, which is why I decided to write about her. Also, I'm always intrigued to find out why people are the way they are, or do the things they do.
Oh I'm so relieved you find that all the pieces fit into place. It is such a long fic I was afraid that I lost focus in several parts and things might seem to be a bit messy and all.
As for the ending...bahaha! You can interpret it otherwise :D I never mentioned that she died. Though in my headcanon, she did. You could always assume she survived and got better and everything. I was hoping for a hopeful ending, something not too angsty.
Thanks so very much for R&R-ing this story! It was a really long one and I'm so grateful that you chose this! And thanks again for your lovely compliments!
-teh Report Review
HELLO! As you probably worked out by my nomination of this for FAotM, (which was fully deserved btw) I read this this story back in December. I'd like to apologize for the ridiculous amount of time that it's taken me to come back and review; I wanted to give a review worthy of this story!
So: lithe and limber. I really like Viola - she's a lovely contrast to Lavender and instantly, her presence makes Lavender incredibly relatable, because the way that Lavender feels inferior in contrast to Viola is something that we've all felt at one time or another. Instantly, you turn a character that's seen in the books as a ditzy, unimportant schoolgirl into someone real, someone human. The way Viola treats Lavender is horrible, and your description of Mrs Brown's eyes makes me curious as to whether she suspects what's going on, but is pretending that the problem doesn't exist.
I caught a typo, btw: "Who cares. She'll never be yours." should have a question mark after "who cares". :)
The ending of that section was just so heartbreaking - I couldn't help but feel for Lavender, feeling so emotionally trapped by Viola. It seems such a contrast to what we see in the books, but it's still wonderfully canon because after all, Lavender isn't going to tell Harry, Ron or Hermione about her history. I really love this portrayal of her - there are so many fanfictions about her life after the Battle of Hogwarts, and not before, and I think that's one of the things that makes this one-shot stand out from all of the others.
In laughing, seeing, I loved how Lavender and Parvati became friends straightaway, and how they clicked instantly. Again, this was true to canon and after the darker aspects of Lavender's friendship with Viola, it was lovely to see her more positive and upbeat, and to see how attending Hogwarts has changed her life. The way in which Lavender mistook Padma for Parvati was amusing - the sisters just have such different personalities that getting them confused was rather surprising. (Sorry if I didn't make sense!) I also liked the explanation for why Viola wasn't a part of the story post-childhood; it had originally been one of the things I was going to point out.
I really liked lightning-struck, and how Lavender's relationship with Ron developed - the books being from Harry's POV so we don't really see it - and especially how she started calling him "Won-Won"! That moment was absolutely lovely, as it showed that Lavender was really happy and braver than she realized for being able to use a name like that in public. We also see the breakdown of Lavender and Ron's relationship, which I thought was a really nice touch and made the story realistic; that not everything has a happy ending.
I tried to hold on to his relief – to borrow it, just the smallest particle of it. This had to be one of the lines that moved me most - from an outsider's perspective, Lavender would have seemed desperate, but from her own viewpoint I can't help thinking that that sentence was more about hope than desperation.
And then we come to a lively sense, and it's really good to see Padma be more involved with Parvati and Lavender. I had been wondering earlier on in the story why Parvati and Padma didn't get along in their first year when we know they had a good relationship in fourth year, so it was nice to see that eventually they grew out of it, and Lavender's assurance that she could tell them apart instantly was proof at how much she's matured, to be able to notice and disinguish between the smallest of characteristics. Lavender and Padma's relationship was unexpected - I've never read a fic with this pairing before, but I have to say that I really liked it! The way that you developed their relationship and led up to their first kiss seemed incredibly natural for two schoolgirls.
I have to confess that the first segment of a lightness confused me slightly. You insinuate that Lavender's a pure-blood, as she's permitted to go back to Hogwarts, and with that deduction it seems that Viola's mother is related to the Browns through marriage - but then, why does Lavender refer to Viola's father as just that, instead of Uncle whatever-his-name-is? Furthermore, Lavender claims that the two families have never been very close - but they must have been somewhat close for Viola and Lavender to have grown up together?
Your description of Hogwarts in 1997-1998 sounded so incredibly canon - I know we never saw in the books what it was like, but your version is so believable. The way Padma and Lavender are hiding their relationship from Parvati, and her reaction, just made me feel for them - it can't have been easy for Parvati to have been a third wheel - and she must have known subconsciously, due to her behaviour - and for Lavender and Padma, lying to someone who they love.
You also described Fenrir Greyback excellently; the whole scene was just so frightening accurate that I could actually believe that I was there with Lavender. And the final section was just so beautiful and moving to read. I did notice a small typo in there: "There, – in just a tiny corner," - you don't need a comma after "there". :)
Those final two paragraphs were just so wonderful though; and that final sentence almost brought a tear to my eye. With that sentence, you don't just know that Lavender Brown is alive, you know that somehow, things are going to be okay. Because for me, those two lines are filled with hope.
This is an amazing one-shot, and you truly deserved to win that Featured Author award. It's so well-written, and I would love to see a sequel and find out what happens after the battle is over! XD This is just wonderful, teh! I know you want to cut it short, but don't - it's perfect as it is. ♥Author's Response: OK, so I felt like someone had Stupefied me when I saw a new review for this story!?!?! And SUCH A LONG ONE AS WELL :DDD
Oh, thank you so so much! For taking the time to read and review, and for nominating it as Featured Story! I'm so so happy that you liked it and thought it was good; I've been having just so many mixed feelings about this story (and they get worse with time bahaha xD)
Oh, I take A LOT of liberties with punctuation. The second typo you pointed out (the extra comma) was indeed a mistake! Gah, need more editing! But the first bit with the question mark ("Who cares. She'll never be your mother...") was quite deliberate. It was originally a question mark but I didn't like the sentence to be a question so I put a fullstop instead. Bahaha! If you noticed, I also took out many many many semicolons and put in commas instead. Hence, comma splices everywhere! I've noticed that in some books I like, writers bend the rules of language and punctuation...and I've heard of some good advice that if a writer does it, you can do it too, as long as there is a reason. I do this because of the way I want the sentences to flow - they do have a certain sound in my head sometimes, especially when i write in first person. OK, am getting a bit rambly here...
I meant for Lavender's mother to come off as being distant and somewhat immersed in her own world among other things, but readers could have other interpretations, of course!
And as for the whole confusion about Lavender and Viola and their half blood muggleborn thing...ahaha I was clearly confused. I sort of mapped it out but didn't want to get all technical in the story so I left it out. I think Lavender and Viola are related through Lavender's unseen father and Viola's father (the one standing by the Portkey). In my mind they were brothers. And Uncle Viola's-Dad married a Muggleborn (Viola's sort of a Half blood, I guess). As for why Lavender says their families had never been close - well she's never been quite close to Viola's parents, and she and Viola drifted apart when they started school. And Viola spending so much time at her place was probably some sort of formal arrangement between their parents...maybe Viola's parents had to work or something ahahha! At least that's how I saw it. Also, Lavender's the narrator - she has her own views and attitudes toward people and things :)
I'm glad you like the final part! For me, Lav Lav pretty much died, but you could interpret it otherwise. You wouldn't be wrong! You're right: either way, things may probably get better, though if she lives, she'll have all the scars of course. I was trying to write that end scene without making it too angsty xD
In fact I was trying not to make the whole story too angsty :) Don't know if I succeeded though...
Anyway, thanks so so so much once again, Katie! I'm glad you enjoyed this and nominated it and everything!Thank you again for the brilliant review and see you in the forums :)
- teh Report Review
Hey, it's me from tag, sorry it took so long.
Oh, dear. This is so beautiful and so emotional and yet half the time it goes completely over my head. I will try my best to not completely misinterpret it. (That's not criticism, by the way; I'm just not too bright.)
Well, from this fic, it's easy to tell that Lavender is, in fact, very alive. Your descriptions' focus on voices, fruit and light - all very associated with life, of course, that's why you chose them - are all (obviously, because it's you) remarkably well-crafted, so much so that this fic feels less like a written account of her life and more like as if we're watching it through her own personal lens, which is something I really admire in fiction writing as a whole.
Your use of sounds and alliteration, especially in the subtitley things (lithe, limber, lightning-struck, a lightness...) are lovely - because, of course, they sound like 'life' and 'alive'. I'm not sure I fully understood them, though; they sound good and they're connected with their sections if you squint a bit, but then that just makes them seem like decoration for a fic that I'm not sure needs it... I don't know.
Your use of light imagery... bloody hell. You've got the overall move from daytime to night to daytime, which is obviously something to do with Lavender Brown being alive that I haven't quite grasped yet. Divination is associated with both light and dark, which is to with erraticness and disintegratio and the like. (Incidentally, I feel like I'm trying to read tarot cards right now. I did say I wasn't too bright... sorry if my coherency is nonexistent.)
Anyway. Moving on. Both your OCs and your canon characters fit in well, and the way you've handled the ships in particular. I've never understood the Lavender/Ron ship myself, but you make it clear why she'd be attracted to him - he's awkward and growing, he's just as alive as she is in his own way. And Lavender/Padma is not a ship I've read before, but it's lovely. Both of these ships are meaningful, but they're still essentially true to Lavender - it's not twoo wuv at first sight or after a three-month relationship, no matter how much she wants to believe it is.
Okay, and there's so much I've missed in this review, I know, but this was amazing. Well done.Author's Response: Aah, always find your reviews so amazing :DDD
I thought you fell asleep while reading this because of its insane length :p It's the longest thing I've ever written in one go and I'll never ever do it again. Arrgh. Arrgh.
and there's no such thing as misinterpreting my stories bahaha! that's why I don't usually say things directly or go straight to the point or tell a lot of stuff or something like that. well, what I usually try to do is create a scene or something and throw you the reader in there and let you figure out on your own. and I'm ALWAYS curious to find out what the reader infers or how things are interpreted. I don't believe that author intentions should be treated as the gospel truth and that whatever writing that's been made public is pretty much in the hands of the reader :DDD
I think I overdid all the imagery bit bahaha xD I couldn't get the idea of fruit out of my mind. I just. Couldn't. So I put it all in. And you're right about sounds and alliteration, especially for the titles of each segment. They're not that well-thought out at all (I was trying to post up before queue closure)...and I just couldn't think of some bloody titles...so that's why they come off rather forced and unnecessarily alliterative!
Oh I'm glad you thought I handled the ships well! T'be honest with ya, I did not enjoy writing the romance bits at all xD I spent those entire two segments of Lavender/Ron and Lavender/Padma cringing and feeling reaallly foolish. I quite /hate/ writing romance. Those bits were the first time I ever ever ever tried romance and gah...RL is so...unromantic and all shades of awkward and never happy in their endings... :( least for me bahaha! I originally intended Lavender to have a more fulfilling relationship with Padma - a happy complete one, to make up for that rubbish relationship with Ron - so there's a real sense of fulfilment of that aspect of her life or something like that. But as you can see my ambivalence toward romance really manifested itself and I sort of undid everything in the final segment. Bahaha! I'll never be able to write long fulfilling love stories xD
OK, thanks so so so much for this amazing review. I'm so glad and relieved that you like this story even though it needs to be cut in half! See ya in the forums :D
-teh Report Review
Wow. After reading this I am really, truly just speechless. This piece is just so full of emotion; happiness, sadness, fear... it's really brilliant.
You've given so much depth to Lavender's character here. Everything from the way her mother taught her to dry flowers to her attraction to Ron because he was different is just amazing and it all works together so perfectly! I know this was only a one-shot, but you've provided so much information and detail here that I honestly feel like I've just read an entire book about Lavender's life.
I kept leaning closer and closer to the screen as the story went on; it truly is enthralling. I was afraid of the ending because I had an idea of what would happen, but you wrote it in such a way that it wasn't too gory or terrifying; it was perfect.
I read your author's note at the beginning, but I honestly didn't notice any errors at all! I think you did an OUTSTANDING job with this, and it's going in my favorites!
AMAZING JOB! 10/10!Author's Response: Hello Jayde!
Eeee you've just given me such terrific compliments I don't even know what to say!?! Ah, thanks so so so much! For reading to the end (I know it was a long story and I'm still amazed I got reviews at all that I didn't have to request for :))
I wanted to really give Lavender life :D Because she's treated so unfairly in the books :(
And so I'm really happy that you liked this and favourited it as well!! Wow, thanks so much! Hugs to you :D
-teh Report Review
With a story like this, it's hard to decide where to begin a review. It's not just a story, but a life. You give Lavender completeness, an existence outside of that rather silly girl in HBP who receives mostly passing references in the other books, someone many people seem to dislike. Your vision of Lavender makes her real, a girl who happened to have crushed on Ron Weasley, even if she was really meant to love someone else. She has a family, dreams and aspirations, a whole world outside of "Harry Potter". All of this makes it a thousand times more tragic when it's all snuffed out in the blink of an eye. She's fearless and amazing, words that few, including myself, would not think of using to describe Lavender Brown.
You do a brilliant job with the characterizations, not just with Lavender, but also of the Patil sisters and Trelawney, all characters that deserve more attention in fanfiction. Even if they don't take centre stage, you still give them fantastic depth through Lavender's words. These characters have a lot of potential, and it's great to see someone explore that potential as well as you have here.
When I first saw the length of this, I didn't think I could make it through, yet once I started reading, it was very hard to look away. It didn't feel very long - it helped that you divided the narrative into those separate scenes, but there was also something about your style that just flowed really well. The descriptions and emotions were intense, but the pace was well-measured, and that's a challenging thing to accomplish with a story like this. It's amazing to see and it makes me excited to read more of your work.
It was a pleasure to read this story and have made its banner! Happy New Year!Author's Response: Hello there Violet! Aaahh thanks for this amazingly wonderfully awesome review! And thanks again for the gorgeous banner and chapter image :D
A life is precisely what I wanted to write :) I wanted to write Lavender's life from when she was a child to her moment of death. I didn't mean it to go so out of hand and swell out into a staggering 9000+ words! I'm glad and ever so grateful that you chose to read on despite the length of it. It was rather difficult to write seeing as I began to lose focus as the story progressed. It took me a long while to finish the story, but it seems like my efforts have paid of because you enjoy it :D And I'm so happy that you like the characterisation! I've been trying to keep Lavender true to herself, but at the same time write her with compassion, without judging her in any way. I sort of intended her to be sentimental and somewhat silly in this fic, but also courageous, sensual and aware. I don't know if I've succeeded in bringing those characteristics out in her.
The edited and tidied version (along with your chapter image) is now in the queue :)
Well, thank you so very much once again for your fantastic comments! Your review's completely made my night :D Happy New Year to you too!
-teh Report Review
Wow. This is very, very lovely, and I am really in awe of how you took a character that most people see as having been created for the specific purpose of being hated, and turned her human. I don't believe that there isn't a single person in the world who doesn't have some sort of redeeming qualities, and with Lavender you showcased them quite wonderfully.
Normally I don't read slash, not because I dislike it, but because I just never think to actually read it. But this story has encouraged me to read more, because it was so, so lovely. Their relationship felt so real, so pure, and it was a wonderful thing to read.
Really well done, I must say. You took a character that was despised and made her someone who could easily be loved, and I applaud you for that.
xx MollyAuthor's Response: Hello there Molly!
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments :D This story is actually an entry for your Villain Redemption Challenge (I got assigned Lavender Brown...and I happened to be writing this so yay). The edited version is now in the queue and when things have been tidied up a little bit and validated, I'll post the link in your challenge thread as my submission :D
So I'm so very glad you find Lavender human and that you are able to empathise with her! This wasn't the easiest story to write given its insane length and I did lose focus along the way. It means heaps to me that you found this enjoyable! Also, I'm thrilled you think the Lavender/Padma pairing is "so real, so pure". Bahaha I have never ever ever written any sort of romance in my life and this was a first and I'm so glad to hear that you like it!
Thanks once again :D
-teh Report Review
Wow. This story is truly beautiful. I have to admit that I was quite blown away by it. I loved how you divide the story into little sections, my favourite was probably lightning-struck, just because I really liked hearing Lavender's point of view about her relationship with Ron. I though that it was really accurately written and extremely true to canon.
I love the descriptions that you gave of Parvati versus Padma. They seem to me at least, to be really unique and characteristic, especially with the golden butterfly hair clip that Parvati wears in the books.
I was wondering why there wasn't much of a mention of Viola during Lavender's school years.
Apart from that I really liked this story. I thoroughly enjoyed it, even the length, and all I have for you about the story, is praise.
CharlieAuthor's Response: Thank you so much for your wonderful review, Charlie!
I'm so happy that you like it and were not deterred by the length. It was a rather difficult thing to write precisely because of its length. I never intended for it to go so out of hand and bloat up to a massive 9000+ words :)
As for the Viola bit, I meant her to sort of drop out of Lavender's life. I didn't intend for the two to be close in their teenage years. I know it's all rahter unexplained, but I'm tried to rectify this a wee bit (just a wee bit) in the edited version, which is currently in the queue.
Thanks so very much once again for taking the time to read and review :)
-teh Report Review
Okay, so I wanted to come and read another chapter of Other Side of the Glass for the review swap, but then I read the story summary for this and was struck by how incredibly beautiful it was. So here I am. :)
I am speechless. The section titled "Lithe and Limber" is absolutely stunning; I am one hundred percent in love with this. The weight of the house pushing lavender down, crushing her, like one of the flowers in the books... stunning. And you give us reasons as to why she becomes so attached later in her life, to Ron for example. Her mother is such an interesting character; loving and comforting yet incredibly distant and willing to put her daughter second to a creature like Viola. This is absolutely breathtaking work.
Your description of Parvati versus Padma is really unique. I love the differences in the sisters, down to the golden butterfly hair clip and the bitten fingernails. And "star-hot gazes" of constellations actually gave me chills. I am curious to know how Viola has changed over the years, though, and if she is still haunting Lavender, demanding that she be called her sister. I'll read on though; perhaps she's in the next section.
One thing that I find a lot of fanfic writers do is have their characters getting a bit drunk off Butterbeer. But only House Elves can get drunk off of it, rather than humans (I didn't know this until I recently saw it on hp-lexicon). Honestly I don't think it's a big deal, but if you wanted to change it to make it more canon, I just thought I'd let you know :)
I love your explanation of Won-Won though; it's such a ridiculous aspect of Lavender's character and you give it an explanation. And I have to say that I was surprised when she kissed Padma, but then it all made complete sense. And your portrayal of the demise of Trewlaney is incredible.
Although I am still wondering what happened to Viola? Surely they would interact at some point, and I think that would be worth mentioning--on a personal note, I think it would be particularly haunting if Lavender turned from kissing Padma and saw Viola watching. Also, a bit confusing: you say that the Patils were gone when Lavender was at breakfast, which makes it sound like they left without notice. But then she and Padma kissed before Dumbledore's funeral. You may want to clarify if that was all within the same day, otherwise it's a bit murky :)
I like that she felt "pinned to the spot" after her meeting with Firenze; it reminds us of the scene with the bookshelf and, I would think, foreshadows a reunion with Viola?
How beautiful that Lavender is "seeing (Seeing?)" everything clearly when she is about to fight at the Battle of Hogwarts. It's become her greatest concern, even over Padma. And then it all becoming too gruesomely clear when she sees Greyback. Your description of him is perfectly horrifying.
And the ending... the ENDING. Oh my god. I am completely blown away. This is one of the best stories I have ever read on HPFF. Absolutely stunning, incredible work. I wish I could do more than just favorite this. Amazing job.Author's Response: ASKDHLKJHFALSJFKL'ASFKL.ASKLD THIS REVIEW. THIS.
I am squeeeing. I am blown away by your review. I am aahhh. THANK YOU OMG.
I wasn't really expecting reviews for this story because it's well...9000+ words and with not a lot of action or anything. Unless of course I went to the Reviews Offered section and inflict a request on some poor person with a slot open :P But aaahh...thank you for reading this to the end and reviewing!
THIS IS SOME SERIOUS PRAISE you're giving me.
Yeah, I do know there's still work to be done with this fic; I need to go back and tighten things up, and perhaps cut some of it out (this story is some 4000 words over my personal word limit bahaha). And perhaps work on the characters a little. As for the Patils' leaving part, yeah I guess it was rather unclear. I will def go back and clear things up there and everywhere else!
Thanks thanks and thanks for your fabulous comments! I LOVE YOUR REVIEW. now I shall get through the day grinning like an idiot :D
-teh Report Review
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