Reading Reviews for The Lonely Hearts
  
213 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DracoFerret11 Chapter 3

9th July 2014:
Me again!

Plot: Hmmm. Well, let's see! I felt that the beginning of the chapter was a bit rushed up until the Sorting Hat's song. It was rather quick and a bit jarring. The song itself was quite nice, though! I don't know how I feel about this seventh years' dormitory thing...It's unique, but I also can't figure out exactly why it would be necessary. I really felt like I needed an explanation for that. The common room/dormitory itself was a bit cliche with its furnishings, and I really didn't like that Hermione has "her own" house elf. I can't imagine she would like that either! It just doesn't sit right with me for some reason. I can't wait to hear more about this Christmas ball. That has the potential to end up cliche, but hopefully it won't. I'm excited about it, either way.

Characterization: Hermione was more civil in this chapter which I liked a lot. But Draco is back to being rude, so I don't know what to think of that. I LOVE that Mr. Weasley is now the Muggle Studies professor. I absolutely LOVE that. I think he would be so good. I hope we get to see more of him. I was a little surprised by Ginny's reaction, though. It seemed pretty selfish, when her family has just gone through a tragedy, to want her dad to go away. Just...rather juvenile again.

Descriptions: I liked that you spent some time describing the new seventh year dorms. I wonder how they'll work out (and why they're there at all ;) ). I think it will be interesting to see how living together changes the dynamic between Houses and whatnot.

Emotions: Hermione was rather flat in this chapter. I didn't see a lot of happiness/excitement/sadness/anything from her. I don't know if that was intentional, but it made it a bit difficult to connect with her.

So far, things are interesting. I hope my constructive criticism doesn't come off too mean! If so, please let me know and I'll tone it down. On to the next chapter!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #2, by DracoFerret11 Chapter 2

9th July 2014:
Hello again!

Grammar/Spelling: Same as last chapter, I caught a few errors. The one that I'll point out here, though, is in Xeno's Quibbler article, at the end it says, "Think you might have the rare gift of seeing Aurors?" when that should read "auras." :)

Plot: Good development in the plot. I'm sure that aura thing will come back later. ;) This chapter was short, but it differentiated this story from other Dramiones in some ways. We don't normally see Luna have any "screen-time," and Draco is being very odd. We'll see how it goes.

Characterization: I think Hermione was a bit bizarre in this chapter. Her conversation with Luna about auras was in-character, but her shouting at Draco at the beginning was rather odd. He hadn't really done anything, and you would think her opinion of him would have changed after the war. I really think that should be explained, because I was left quite confused. Also, at the end, her name-calling seems quite juvenile. I would have expected her to be more mature. As for Draco, he was so flip-floppy! At the beginning, he snaps at Hermione to keep her nose out of his business, but by the end, he's being quite calm and polite. Whaaat? If that wasn't intentional, it's very misleading/confusing. But Luna was perfect if it's any consolation. :)

Descriptions: I didn't get very many details in this chapter. I couldn't really experience the scenes, so maybe more on how things look, sound, feel, smell, etc. could help.

Emotions: Hermione seems so angry with Draco! But...why? What's he done recently that makes her so vicious? And does she have flashbacks to parts of "Deathly Hallows" where she suffered or was tortured or any of that? I just need to understand where she's coming from, if that makes sense.

This story's pacing is good so far and it's flowing nicely. Some clarification on the things above would help, but other than that, I think you're moving along nicely.

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #3, by DracoFerret11 Chapter 1

9th July 2014:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you for the House Cup 2014! :D Someone mentioned this story in a status conversation about Dramione, so I figured I would give it a read. So, let's go over things:

Grammar/Spelling: There were a few issues that I noticed throughout the chapter, mostly spelling things, but a few grammar errors as well. Perhaps a slow read-through would help you to catch them.

Plot: Well, as many Hogwarts-era Dramiones begin, we start with Hermione as Head Girl (my own Dramione begins this way as well). That's a predictable appointment (hilariously, the title of my first chapter), but I think that it would almost not make sense for some other girl to be chosen. You've breezed by the more difficult aspects of life after the war, which I suppose we don't have to linger on, but it might be nice to acknowledge more openly the effect that the war had on Hermione. Maybe that will come in later. :) And Draco is Head Boy (for some reason)! Oh dear. I'm sure that's not going to work out happily. We'll see!

Characterization: I think you wrote Hermione accurately. She seemed in-character, deciding to go back to Hogwarts (as we know from JKR that she actually did). Her dialogue was a bit stilted, though. It just seemed awkward when she spoke with Mrs. Weasley and Harry and Ginny. I read her lines aloud, and I think I can see where you were going with them, but they just sound a bit...off.

Descriptions: I didn't get many details about the settings, characters, etc., but I did really like the scene where her trip to Diagon Alley is mentioned. I always wonder about the attention the trio would have gotten after the war, and you're dealing with that well. I'm interested to see if it plays in again.

Emotions: As I mentioned before, we get a sort of "show don't tell" moment when it comes to Hermione's emotions. We're told she's sad and a bit disappointed that Harry and Ron won't be returning to Hogwarts, but I can't really SEE that sadness. And I don't know how the war has affected her or how she feels about many things in general. Rather than telling us she felt excited when she went through the barrier, SHOW us. Describe how she bounces on the balls of her feet a bit or how a smile spreads across her face without her bidding it, etc. Just something so we can see these changes in the character.

So far, so good. I'll continue reading and see where this story takes me! Well done and good luck to Hufflepuff in the House Cup!

--Emily (House Cup 2014 Review)

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Review #4, by Lostmyheart Chapter 5

14th April 2014:
I seriously love this story. It's so sweet and very short, and to be honest, it is noticable from your latest stories and this - you've developed you writing skills! But I still love this story, it's not bad at all.
I've always played with the idea of Hermione finding Draco crying in to bathroom and here I am, reading the amazing plot in your story! I think it's amazing. Because it could really go either way, bad or good. Hermione would run away and pretend it never happened, or she'd try to help him. Of course with some difficulties but in the end, they'll fall in love. *dramione shipper sigh*
Anyway, I can't wait to read on and see what you'll do with Hermione and how she'll react to the sight of Draco crying.

- Avi

Author's Response: Avi, you're to good to me! I take the fact that you think my writing has improved as a huge compliment! I'm fairly new to this writing lark and I'm learning so much so it's great to have such good feedback. I'm so pleased you're enjoying this so far, I do have a bit of an emotional attachment to this story with it being my first completed :)

Thank you so much my dear!


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Review #5, by Silvergirl91 Chapter 2

9th April 2014:
I really like your use of auras in this chapter. It helps give luna more of a mystical air and I think it is fantastic!

Author's Response: Thank you :) I love Luna so much, I wanted to do her character justice :)

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Review #6, by Lostmyheart Chapter 4

3rd April 2014:
It's me again :)

Again, a very short and simple chapter. I like it!
But maybe it could be filled a little with McGonagall, Harry and Ron talking a little bit more. It seemed a little off that we didn't hear much from them :)

But other than that I liked it! And it was a sweet detail that the house elf was sent by Malfoy.

Anyway, I won't have time to read the next chapter, so I'll probably do it in the weekend.
- Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Hello again!

Thank you for the advice about filling out the chapter, I'll definitely remember that when I (eventually) come back to this story to do the editing it needs.

I look forward to your thoughts on the rest of the story, thank you so much :)


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Review #7, by Lostmyheart Chapter 3

3rd April 2014:
Hi again :)

This was a very short and simple chapter. I liked the Sorting Hat's song, and I was actually surprised you could get away with more than three lines! :)
Oh, please. No need to cringe :D The story is still very well-written. And I think almost everyone of us has fallen into the cliché stories (I have, once upon a time :P )
I really do like romance stories that has a very slow start. Especially when it's Dramione or ScoRose.

I think I have time enoug to read the fourth chapter, so I'll read on :)

- Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you :D I'm glad you liked the song. The Hat's songs are the only thing that are exempt from the 3 line rule, thankfully :)

I definitely fell into all of the cliches around this time, you'll soon learn ;) I'll always have a soft spot for this story though as it's the first multi chapter I wrote and completed. I like the slow burners too, if you've been following Seized you'll know that LOL!

Thank you for another lovely review :)


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Review #8, by Lostmyheart Chapter 2

3rd April 2014:
Hi again!

I liked the article Luna showed, and that she could see his aura. Very Luna-like and weird, so wonderfully weird :)
I didn't quite like the fact that Hermione still thinks of him as the little ferret etc. After he kind of saved their lives at the manor during the War. But then again, it wouldn't truly be a Hermione/Draco story without a little hate between them :) this time it seems to be from Hermione's part only. I'm looking forward to read the rest!

-Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Thank you! I do love Luna, she's just such an interesting and unique character, I wanted to show that in this :)

I definitely agree about Draco/Hermione, as I said in the last reply this was an early fic of mine and it's around the time I was reading a lot of cliche Dramione's, I picked up some bad habits :p

Dee :)


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Review #9, by Lostmyheart Chapter 1

3rd April 2014:
Hi!

I loved your 'Memory Lane' so much, that I wanted to read some of your other stories as well.
This story has a very interesting start, and I like that you kept it short.
And of course, our lovely cliffhanger! But luckely for me, I can read the second chapter right away :b

I'm on to the next. See you soon!
- Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Eeek! It makes me cringe so much when I know people are reading this. It was the very first multi-chapter fic I wrote so it's got a LOT of mistakes. I have every intention of doing some serious editing when I have the time. All I can say is forgive me :p I hope you enjoy it!

Dee :)


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Review #10, by marauderslover15 Chapter 6

11th February 2014:
My favorite part was when he called her Hermione and her reaction. I completely feel that this is the way she would act to this. Great characterization!

And I wonder what Harry would say... Hmm ;)

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm glad you think she's in character :)

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Review #11, by marauderslover15 Chapter 5

11th February 2014:
I can't wait to continue! But thought to leave a review. I actually read your other Dramione fic and was pleased to see you have another.

I think people forget that Malfoy IS a person. That in is 6th year he was so stressed out that he was crying in the bathroom like in this scene here. You did so well to remind us of that. And remind us of how the old Malfoy is.

Really enjoyed this chapter =)

Author's Response: Thank you :D I actually much prefer Memory Lane to this one but this was the first fanfic novel I wrote so it will always mean a lot to me.

I couldn't agree more about Malfoy. Yes, he was a part at times but most definitely still a person with real feelings.

Glad you liked this one too!


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Review #12, by marauderslover15 Chapter 3

10th February 2014:
I really enjoyed the chapter especially Sorting Hat song. It was really clever of you! I was really impressed. Especially since I would not be able to do that myself.

And I LOVE LOVE that Arthur Weasley is the new Muggle Studies professor. That makes loads of sense.

Anyway, really great chapter. Looking forward to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you so much :) the Sorting Hat song took me ages to write but I was adamant I wanted one I'm there, I'm glad you liked it!

I hope you enjoy the rest of the story too :D


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Review #13, by GeekTilTheEnd Epilogue

6th February 2014:
Oh my this is just perfect and is possibly my favourite of my favourites!! Brilliantly written and captured each character just perfectly. Thank you!

Author's Response: Thank you so so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :D

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Review #14, by rickmanfanatic Chapter 14

3rd January 2014:
I absolutely love this story! I am a dramione shipper and find some dramione fanfics unrealistic, whereas yours is completely believable and true to the books.. you are by far my favourite author on hpff! :)

Author's Response: Ahhh, thank you so much, that's such a huge compliment :D I'm so pleased tou liked it!

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Review #15, by MissesWeasley123 Chapter 2

1st January 2014:
LUNA! Here for the 12 Days of Reviewing again!

The way you write Luna is so amazing. Absolutely breathtaking because she's so in character all of the time. Her weirdness is contagious and it's so hard not to love her. You are a complete natural when it comes to Luna, be it this or She Saw Him Once. Such perfection! The aura thing was a brilliant touch and a great way of foreshadowing. You show that Luna picks up on Draco's changed personality, and that's so cute.

Hermione's ignorance showed really well too, and it's so sad she thinks Luna is a bit stupid and most definitely crazy. Her reaction was perfect, and a bit frustrating just like Hermione was in the books to Luna's theories.

Her break up with Ron also was natural. I liked it.

Anyway, great chapter!

Author's Response: Oh no Nadia, not TLH...we're pretending it doesn't exist, remember?? This story makes me cringe, and the fact that people still read it makes me cringe more!!

On a lighter note, Luna is my absolute favourite character in the entire series, I always worry that when I write her I don't do her justice. Partly because when I read fanfiction around her I'm very picky, especially when people write her and she blames everything on the nargles! Woah...unexpected rant, sorry!

I cannot thank you enough for the reviews you've left over the past couple of days. You are truly wonderful :)


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Review #16, by Winnie Epilogue

30th December 2013:
I need to cry again. Out of joy, of course!

Author's Response: I'm glad! Thank you so much for all of the reviews :)

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Review #17, by Winnie Chapter 25

30th December 2013:
I want to cry again, this time, out of joy.

Author's Response: Yay for happy tears!

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Review #18, by Winnie Chapter 24

30th December 2013:
Pansy got what she deserved. Actually, being thrown into Azkaban isn't enough. When it comes to Draco and Hermione, who ever's hurting them should be mercilessly slaughtered. I'm so cruel. . .

Author's Response: Haha! I loved this comment :D I definitely don't regret it

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Review #19, by Winnie Chapter 23

30th December 2013:
I need to cry. I'm very emotional when it comes down to reading.

Author's Response: You're not the only one

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Review #20, by Winnie Chapter 21

30th December 2013:
Oh, well. . . Things like that do happen.

Author's Response: They do indeed

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Review #21, by Winnie Chapter 19

30th December 2013:
When is it going to stop?

Author's Response: Soon! I swear :D

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Review #22, by Winnie Chapter 15

29th December 2013:
Oh my Heavens! Just imagine the boys' faces!

Author's Response: I'd love to have seen them!

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Review #23, by Winnie Chapter 14

29th December 2013:
They need more kissing. I'm a madwoman when it comes to Dramione.

Author's Response: You and me both :D

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Review #24, by Winnie Chapter 12

29th December 2013:
Ginny will be right. She's always right!

Author's Response: Always! It's why I love her!

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Review #25, by Winnie Chapter 10

29th December 2013:
Why can't Harry and Ron be acceptant of Draco? I understand that they used to hate each other, but why can't they just look at things from Draco's point of view and be more lenient about him?

Author's Response: Hmmm, because they don't love him like we do? Harry and Ron are just too stubborn :p

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